candall

Boooo. So other people can use wool, leather and stifling neoprene and incorporate other inappropriate yacht-job features, and get away with it by saying "Oh, it's for after work, when they go out to the bars," but Anna gets sent home because the Jason is dressed too casually to be on duty as the top professional operating the boat. Capt. Jason looked comfortable and gorgeous and would appear right at home pouring out of that big Hummer limo production hires to haul everyone to dinner. How is a black leather jacket look different from a black silk kimono look if both men liked their outfits? Meanwhile, Capt. Sandy--and I'm one of the few who like her--would have been roundly laughed at anywhere she showed up in that ridiculous Halloween kit. All season, Anna's been the little chicken who gets pecked to death by the others and tonight the judges finished the job. .

Cheryl was my favorite this season. I was impressed with the Dirty Hands strategy to repeatedly name her as crew boss. It made their team much more stable than switching leaders and everyone trying to figure out what the new boss's management style was going to be, task to task. I was relieved when Cheryl clocked out, though, for her sake. I couldn't even watch her torture that sprained ankle (or whatever leg part) trying to navigate that balance beam with buckets of water. ow ow ow ow In the final, Kenji's despair was also hard to watch. I thought, right along with Kenji, that the post driver section would be his secret advantage because he knew the trick. Unfortunately, I caught on a little earlier than he did that the formula for success had changed. Poor Kenji. It would have been so great if the sheer determination of the small guy had made an even match-up with the experience of the older guy and the power of the big guy. I liked all three of them. ### It was a good season! It would have been nice to hear a little longer update on each of the contestants--if anyone runs across that, please post it up.

Uh-oh. Kerok just lost me, permanently.

Is that the same nude bodysuit she wore on her "date" or does she own several? It's a look!

I have lost the thread of how this woman's prison boyfriend just happened to have, uh, lain with one of her employees at ye olde tax preparation firm.

I have two or three "Where Are They Now?" shows my dvr caught and one of them is Muskrat Stan. I hope the cat's okay.

Sure! Married to Brett ___________. Acerbic game show guest.

I loooooooove that her profession is "Social Media Influencer." But I'm thinking that soon FansOnly will be the social media she's influencing.

I was EXTRA sad that I missed last week when I was all alone watching this chick go in and specify a table for two for her "date" with Kerok. Oh, it is to laugh.

Maybe that's one of those buttsmuggler models. Packaged with earphone!

You probably discussed this last week, but since when do inmates get to lie in their cell bunks and yak on their phones all day? That's going to put a whole new topspin on Love During Lockup.

But who is that snarling blond man on sister Jade's right arm?? He makes dark green pineapple look good.

On it! Thanks!

Does anyone else have a new non-removeable banner taking up 25% of the screen? Extremely annoying. Seeking advice.

Oh, yeah, I forgot: GIVE ME THAT COOKIE!!!

Former Officer Ward Cleaver doesn't seem like he should need the inmat-imacy. Can't he just pick up a nice lady at church on Wednesday night?

Let's conversate about martinis. This woman is clueless about more than love.

I'm here, I'm all caught up--let's conversate! '

Or just throw everything on Mimi, one after another. I'll wait. I can't believe there isn't more debate and/or outrage about the model size discrepancy in this head-to-head showdown. In the first pairing, the first model has very distinctive back creases trapped under the suspenders in her nude back square, which the camera only shows for a split second. She's followed immediately by Mimi prancing in and dazzling everyone with the fluffy jacket. Mimi stop, turns, and looks over her shoulder on the way out, emphasizing another nude back. But I don't think "hey, no back flab," I just think, "ooh, pretty." In the second pairing, Korto has bundled her stick-thin model into a heavy voluminous jacket with a pronounced peplum and little peek-a-boo flashes in front. Rami's model pooches out through his cage design. It was painful; I couldn't stop wincing. Switch 'em up and let's take another look. In the third pairing, I expected Anna's diagonal jean yokes on the conventionally tall thin model to win over Kara Saun's plus size gladiator button strips. Was it that stupid lip chain? Or was it too obvious to choose the thin model design over the big model design three times in a row? I'm just keenly frustrated because I think it's an unfair disadvantage. People come in all different shapes and sizes--the one that best showcases clothing designs on the runway is the coatrack model. There aren't any 5'2" models in the mix just to even out the statuesque numbers, even though most women aren't up around six feet tall. Pfaaa.

Due to what my dvr unapologetically referred to as 'Error,' I only caught the last runway model, plus the judging. Me: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE? ### My abbreviated take on tonight's show is that the judges might try to be a little more objective and professional. The male guest judge didn't need to be gushing about Korto's influence on the fashion world, as she stood next to her crappy doily-luggage strap bra and shiny handkerchief sarong. I guess he wanted to make sure she wouldn't be eliminated, and he succeeded. Worse was Elaine shrieking out Kara Saun's name with such joy. It's not as though Kara Saun created such a showstopper that she left everyone else in the dust--Elaine just really likes her and was thrilled by her win. I would've entertained a bitter thought or two about that if I were Rami.

Anna said she'd never worked with plaid--and then every last seam on those pants was PERFECTLY aligned. (Including the four-way intersection at the bottom of the crotch, which you could examine courtesy of the vag-cam stationed at the foot of the stairs.) Impressive, Anna! More of that stepping up, please--show those mean girls.

This show is so goofy and fake. Gorden and Joe dramatically sighing and shaking their heads at how Balcony Guy had screwed the South and Northeast teams with the "sweet" designation over "savory." THEY'RE APPLES. Pork chops and applesauce is the only classic pairing I can think of--certainly not warm apples poured over fish (ew) or scallops (ew!). On the other hand, you don't have to be a trained pastry chef to rustle up some kind of sugary crumble and whip some cream. Don't forget the cinnamon. Or go crazy--nutmeg! Done. #### Maybe the geographic teams are artificially gerrymandered, but since that's what the producers chose, would it have killed them to distribute different colored aprons? {Sorry. I'm cranky from squinting at the delicate stitching on the apron bibs, trying to figure out who's on what team. You're pushing me, show.}

"I don't really see anyone doing a lot of healthy barbeque." Ha. My eyes rolled back so far, they fell behind the couch. Nice knowing you, Redshirt.

Brittany was on a plane when she had a serious, debilitating stroke. She used a Peloton stationary bike to help recover her mobility, which inspired her to start designing workout clothes. "Athleisure"? I think she may have said she's now Peleton's chief designer, but at any rate, she discovered a field of design she loves and where she excels, so she credited the horrible circumstances of her stroke with leading her to her design path. It was quite moving. She became very emotional when she talked about having to be gurneyed off the plane.

Hey, Kayne and Korto! Did someone assign you a seat next to Brandon and Nina? Who the fuck do you think you are, cutting Anna down to size because you don't approve of her design? That was all kinds of mean girl ugly. Their designs, for me, will now be somewhat tainted by that rush to eviscerate a colleague.