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I personally think it's because they have been conditioned to not trust anyone outside their tiny, tiny circle. All their lives the Duggar daughters have been told that the evil liberals are aborting babies, having gay sex and generally disobeying the right way to live. These girls have been so isolated that they wouldn't have a doctor who they could trust or an outside friend who could at least point them in the right direction for where to get proper care. They live in an echo chamber of us against the world. No matter how bad it is (little food, molestation, fear) the outside world is worse. So when it comes to a really intense and emotional experience like childbirth, it isn't really that surprising that they close ranks and don't look to an outsider for help. The doctor could be gay, male, liberal or (heaven forbid!) all three. Dr Jill Medicine Woman might be utterly useless but she's the right gender with the right beliefs. If they went to hospital, they could end up with anyone taking care of them and for young, emotionally stunted women (like Joy), this certainly would not have been appealing. Best to take your chances with Jill's Medical Things than sign up for a strange person examine you intimately. Comparatively, Michelle grew up with Drs and medical care so she was more open to seeing a professional for giving birth. The fact that she and Jim Boob completely denied their children this doctor-patient relationship has lead to stunted, ill-equiped daughters who assume that godliness is some kind of defence against a medical tragedy.

I work at a cancer charity and while I don't work in treatment (I'm in prevention), I know the devastation that cancer can cause. We recently had a widowed mother of two come and speak to us about her terminal cancer diagnosis. She knows that she is dying and that in the not too distant future, she will say goodbye to her young daughters for the last time and leave them in the care of someone else. There will come a time very soon when she won't be around to kiss them goodnight and hug them in the morning. Someday, these little girls won't remember what their parent looked or sounded like without pictures and videos. Did God just turn his back on her, Cathy? When he said "I got this" to you, did he say "But not you" to her? If God chose you to survive, what makes you more important than her or the thousands of others like her? We don't talk about cancer in fighting terms because it implies that those who survive somehow fought harder than those who pass away. But to imply that she and her doctors were passive and it was God who put in the hard work makes me really angry. God wasn't the one who put in Cathy's IV drip or analysed her biopsies or planned her treatment. It's downright insulting to suggest that it was all God and no human intervention.

Let's just look at what skills and knowledge one of the kids would need to have (or learn quickly) to break totally free. How to find a house or apartment - nope. They've all been living in TTH or daddy's rental properties. They have no contacts or friends who aren't part of the cult and probably wouldn't have the cash for a deposit or bond. How to find a job - definitely not. Most of us learnt that you walk around asking businesses or look on the internet. Then we learnt how to put together a resume and how to present ourselves in interviews. Not only to the Duggars have no qualifications (JD excluded), all their work experience has been for Duggar Industries. They've been told for years that the only acceptable employment is self employment. That's a lot to overcome just to start earning. How to be financially stable - probs a no on this one too. The oldest would remember what is was like living on "love offerings" but the middle and younger ones have grown up with trips to New York to be on "Good Morning America" and MacBooks. They wouldn't know how to open a bank account, balance a budget or pay taxes. The SOTDRT certainly didn't teach any of that. And the deliberate isolation means that they would struggle to find people to support them while they learnt. They would have to leave their family, friends and whole belief system to go. Since they've been on TV, they have been able to get away with filming some stuff, taking some photos and otherwise sitting on their backsides doing very little. Even though it might be miserable, the outside world with all its challenges would be petrifying and hard work. Sadly, I can't see any of them fully breaking away.

I completely understand where Chelsea was coming from in asking that Aubree only go to her grandparents once a month. The only reason she visited them two weekends a month was because they were supposed to supervise Adam. It was technically his time with Aubree, not theirs. Two weekends a month is a lot for court mandated contact with grandparents. Far more than 90% of grandparents have. This isn't to say that their bond with Aubree isn't important but there did need to be a discussion if she should be spending half her weekends with them. I know people feel that Chelsea is making a new family and pushing Cole on Aubree. But if Adam isn't interested in using his two weekends a month to see her, why should he continue to have that right? He's clearly not interested in parenting so while he can continue to see Aubree (in supervised centres) he shouldn't get every other weekend. Why should Chelsea have to settle for half of Aubree's weekends when Adam isn't using his weekends to see his daughter? I understand that this would be upsetting for his parents. But it was never their court ordered time with Aubree, even if it ended up that way. Aubree clearly enjoys spending time with them and this way it can continue but in a more balanced way.

The reason I find it so frustrating is because the Duggars made their fame (and subsequent reality TV careers) off their baby mania. The whole premise of their show was that they were the bestest family with the mostest babies so God loves them more than regular people. Who can forget Michelle's "and I delivered every one of them!" in the intro? Yet despite this, they don't care at all about proper medical care during pregnancy, risking the lives of Jill, Jessa and their children. Instead of choosing a hospital or heaven forbid, a qualified midwife, Jill was deciding what Bible verses she would use for pain relief! Jessa waiting until she was hemmoraging to seek medical help. God only knows what happened with Sam's birth which lead to an emergency C-section. Counting On is a repetition of courtship, engagement, marriage, baby announcement, baby, rinse and repeat. Making babies, having babies, showing off babies is central to their show but they still don't believe in pre or ante natal care. Their entire purpose is to breed an army for Jesus but they don't seem to care if this army is healthy or not. For people who are obsessed with babies it is beyond frustrating to see a complete disinterest in checking that said babies are actually ok. Maybe I'm wrong and Kendra and Joy are actually receiving the best care Arkansas can offer rather than the best guess of Dr Jill. But given the previous Duggar track record, I'm going to assume that they (like Jill and Jessa before them) are relying on Jesus to keep them safe rather than scientific evidence and trained professionals.

In one word: No. We've got enough weirdos without bringing the Duggars here. It's not just that event, they are also speaking at the Annual Family Conference which starts the day after (14-17 Jan) and the Student Conference (18-19 Jan). The conference paper says that "Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar" are the keynote speakers for both. It's not cheap either, ATI Families are free but Associate Families are $130, Guest Families are $200 and Individual Guests are $90. The description for Jim Bob and Michelle is nauseating. "Raising 19 children is a big challenge; raising them for over 10 years while on reality TV is an even greater challenge. Trusting in the Lord for their family is something that Jim Bob and Michelle have definitely experienced, both privately and publicly. The Duggars humbly share their joys and trials, desiring to minister to other families who desire God's best, even when their lives take unexpected turns. Jim Bob and Michelle's message is still the same: trust in the Lord" Out of the 4 keynote speakers, only 1 is actually from Australia. The others are from Texas and Illinois (Joe Norvell and Robert Bath if those names mean anything). Apparently last year they had 220 people attend across both conferences. All things considered, that is pretty tiny. We get more people to our end-of-season soccer club event. Plus they have some serious competition with the 15,000 nutty Brethren who go even further than the Duggars. The Brethren shut themselves off completely from the world with no TVs, radios and computers only allowed for business purposes and cannot be used to access the internet. All media is sinful and the only news is from approved channels. Children can only attend Brethren schools and cannot go onto higher education. They will not accept food or drink which is not prepared and served by a fellow Brethren and will not vote. Most recently, they were hauled up in front of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse which revealed a pervasive culture of child abuse and cover ups (http://www.smh.com.au/good-weekend/tony-mccorkell-reveals-secrets-of-the-wealthy-christian-sect-exclusive-brethren-20160429-goi6lc.html) If ATI are trying to lockdown the patriarchal, extreme purity and withdrawal from worldly influences market, they'll have to do a lot better than some washed up reality TV stars whose show is only on a barely watched pay TV channel. It might draw in the existing believers but it won't get anyone else. On the plus side, they'll get to add an extra 16 people to their attendance! That is, if they don't drop of heatstroke because it's predicted to be another hot 40+ degree summer.

Just quickly- I can't speak to the US system but in Australia there are almost as many children in kinship (family) care as foster care. The thinking is that removing a child entirely should not be the default option but efforts should be made to keep the child with their family, even if that doesn't include their biological parent. If Barb had called CPS, they may well have turned around and put Jace with her anyway. She has no arrest record, a home, a job, has raised children before and was involved with Jace as an infant. (If this is completely incorrect, let me know. I'm just speculating based on what I know about the US system). Also, I take offence that the serious mental health issues that Jenelle's brother has are caused by poor parenting. Poor parenting may well be a factor but many of his issues are biological/neurological and all the love and support in the world can't fight that. I know two families where the child (now an adult) has mental health issues which are so bad that they will not live alone and may never marry/have children/hold down a job. And the best parenting in the world can't rewire and reprogram their brains. More to the point, I'm not sure why Barb is the devil incarnate when her ex-husband was abusive and she was a victim of DV. I can't imagine the difficulty of trying to raise three kids with someone like that and then once the abuser leaves, doing it on your own. And when all her kids have finally grown up, going back and doing it all again because your daughter refused to have an abortion or give the baby to someone who could care for them. For all her faults, Barb has always been there for Jenelle and as a thank you she gets stalked, yelled at and abused for it. Jenelle has no one else to blame for the fact that it took her 6 years to get into court to "get Jace back" (like he's some kind of pot plant). Barb is not some evil mastermind who conspired with the court system to keep poor Jenelle away from Jace. Jenelle had years and years to get her shit together and it isn't Barb's fault that Jenelle prioritised drugs, soulmate and holidays before him.

I guess it just goes to show how we can all see things differently. How many times have we seen Jenelle and her soulmate of the month change the time and place for drop offs and expect Barb to be ok with it? There have been countless times when Jenelle (egged on by Nathan or UBT) has called up Barb to say that actually, it would be more convenient if the drop off was earlier/later/closer to them and assumed that Barb would be able to rearrange all her plans to suit their schedule. I don't see it as petty at all. I see it as Barb being relieved that Jenelle is actually being held to account about when Jace has to be at the drop off place. Jenelle can't just ring up and demand that Barb drive further or wait longer because Jenelle is "so tired, dude". Unlike normal, non-sociopathic people, Jenelle and her soulmates have never had a problem with making life more difficult for Barb but now there is finally an order that they have to be on time. I think it came out badly but Barb was making the point that there will be an actual penalty for Jenelle being late and she can't just screw around about drop offs any more. At sixty-something, she was probably tired of waiting around in the car for her unemployed daughter to take time out of her social media posting and fighting to drop Jace off. Frankly, if I was Barb I would be making the same point, Jenelle has to stick the rules to keep visitation with Jace and being on time is part of that.

I'm sure that one of the perks of living on The Land is that Jenelle and UBT can get off their faces without having to worry about pesky neighbors, cops or mandatory reporters. Since they don't have actual jobs, they almost never leave The Land except to drop off an {assorted offspring} with {anyone else}. Jenelle doesn't even go out to buy groceries so there would be days and days where they don't see anyone else. Absolutely perfect for two crackhead child abusers who don't want to be caught. They can light up, scream at each other and the kids as much as they want and no one would know. They can lock children outside the house in the heat and no one would know. They can do whatever they want and no one else but the kids would know. When they stay on The Land, they can do whatever the f*ck they want to themselves or the kids safe in the knowledge that there is no one likely to drop by and catch them. It really is a petrifying thought and I'm not even involved in the situation. Poor Barb must be beside herself every time he goes over, there is no way to know what is going on over there. No wonder Jace looks stressed and fretful when he is with Jenelle and UBT.

I just can't with Kail. Does she really expect us to believe that with Jo, Javi and Javi's extended family, there was no one who could watch the boys for a few hours? IKail threw a fit and just decided that martyrdom was a better option than Javi and that everyone else who paid to attend that class can "just deal" with two active, lively boys attending. Don't worry Kail, all those people who are paying to learn aren't at all disturbed by you showing up with a camera crew and two boys! I'm sure everyone in that class was just delighted that someone on a six figure salary couldn't find a single person to watch her children. She really does take selfishness to a new level. Briana can shove it with her "he cheated on me while I was pregnant" shick. Did she really think that a guy who shows up to "da club" would just drop his one-night, party hard attitude and settle down for happy families? He was looking for a quick bang, not a lifetime commitment. Expecting Luis to have some kind of miraculous personality change simply because he became a sperm donor is beyond stupid. Also, no wonder the dude doesn't come around, has there been a single conversation where MiseryGuts doesn't throw it in his face that he "fucked up"? Why would he want to be around someone who smugly sits there while mommy fights her battles and accusing him of being the sole reason why her life is terrible? It would be the equivalent of spending time with the Grinch only with less singing and no cute dog.

I can't believe that Kail still hasn't announced Baby No-Name's real name. Any interest in his birth (which was minimal to begin with) is long, long gone. A D-List MTV *reality star* announcing the name of her third child by a third father wouldn't even make the trash magazines. He was born more than 3 weeks ago, no one is going to pay for that EXCLUSIVE news. No amount of plastic surgery or Instagram filters is going to make her A list famous and no one is standing outside her house ala Kate Middleton waiting with bated breath. Pure speculation but I wonder if it really is about Kail and Chris being unable to decide on a name. We've seen her be a manipulative cow in just about every relationship - why would this one be any different? I bet it it has to be her name idea and if Chris isn't on board, little No-Name might be No-Name for a bit longer. More than that she's going to find out what it actually means to be a single parent. For all her self-promotion, she hasn't ever really been doing it on her own except when she left Jo and his parents. Even then, Janet overlooked her terrible behaviour and stepped up to help take care of Isaac. Then she dug her claws into Javi and suddenly had his parents/sisters/cousins/whoever to help her take care of the two boys plus Jo taking Isaac every other weekend. For most of her kid's lives, there has been at least one, if not two, extended family networks willing to help out. With Baby No-Name, she's going to realize what it is actually like to have to cook/clean/take care of a newborn/juggle two other kids. But then again, she sits on a six figure salary so I'm not exactly sympathetic to her huge, manipulative ass. The one I feel sorry for is little No-Name. What happens when Family Day happens in a few years time and Isaac and Lincoln head off to see Javi? Is he expected to take on someone else's kid who he has never helped raise? Or when Javi and Jo take the kids out for ice cream, are they expected to take No-Name with them? At this rate, the poor thing is going to be sitting at home with Kail while Isaac and Lincoln go and see their dad's for the weekend. It's not fair to any of them and frankly, I blame Kail.

For me, I consider bullying to be when one person uses a power imbalance to harass, insult or injure another person. The "bully" may have the power of more friends, physical strength, better reputation, a higher position in the workplace, etc. etc. In this case, we have a 26 year old *man* who has the advantage of two (unfortunately) popular reality TV shows since he began in 2014. He has been on national magazine People multiple times. He has appeared on breakfast TV shows. He has been given a huge platform on which to pontificate on whatever mundane thought comes through his head. Basically, Derrick is older, has a long-established fan base and 50k more social media followers. He used this platform to belittle and insult a child. Mr Super Christian decided to direct his anger towards a child from a minority community which experiences daily discrimination without his help. He thought that God would given him a pat on the back because he maliciously attacked a minor. And if it so happens that God does hate the LGBTI community and gives Derrick a special halo in heaven for his hard work in attacking and patronizing minority groups, send me down to hell so I can be with people who actually work towards a more inclusive society. ETA: I've honestly never forgiven them for "It's super sad that the seizure girl died but hey we finished off her craft DONATE to our hard work". I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive their callousness in using that poor girl's death to beg for money to do interpretive dance. Just another instance where the Dullards reminded us that they are the most important people in Danger America.

Something that actually made me rather sad with Jill preparing for Izzy's birth was when she was talking about how she had prepared Bible verses to read during her labour. This sheltered, naive young woman with the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old was putting more thought into which pretty words would be nicest during labour rather than an actual medical plan. More planning and thought went into those freaking flash cards than her baby's health. She is so seeped in the Kool-Aid that she put all her faith into sentences to chant rather than professional assistance. She actively avoided medical intervention and instead closed her ears and chanted John 3:16 because she had been told that would save her. Michelle and Boob have stunted those children so badly that they run blindly into danger with no backup plan because they have been told that they are super special flowers who God will protect. Then when sh*t hits the fan, that unshakable faith is questioned because in the worst case scenario you end up asking, how could God love you so much but also take your baby? That scene just showed me how messed up the Duggars are. Most mothers to be have an understanding of how they want their labour to go and the extent to which medical professionals will (ideally) be involved. For some of these women, pretty Bible verses may be part of the plan. But they won't be the plan. I'm agnostic and this free-fall "don't worry, God will catch me!" attitude petrifies me, especially when Jill/Jessa/inevitably other Duggars risk their baby on the assumption of how special they are.

I know (middle aged and older) couples in our community who have arranged marriages. As others have mentioned, both parties go in with a clear understanding that this is a relationship based on mutual benefit not an overwhelming emotional connection. Excluding forced arranged marriages, today both people have met and spent time together, making sure that they could at least live together for the rest of their lives. Generally, they have a clear idea of what the other person wants from their relationship, career and future family life. Jill and Derrick would have benefited enormously from this sort of pre-planning. They both went in with an idealised version of the other - Jill thought that she was getting an occasional missionary who would worship the ground she walked on and would be happy to hand out cupcakes and nail polish. Derrick thought he was getting a trained midwife who wanted to travel overseas and preach. Jill thought that they would stay near her family and make trips overseas, Derrick thought they would be living overseas. I truly doubt there was a serious conversation about their future together beyond "We will never go into debt!", "We want a busload of kids!" and "We will help the unwashed, heathen masses!". Now they have both had to compromise and neither seems happy. This is one of the reasons that the Duggars piss me off. They present these wonderful courtships where almost every time the couple falls into the most special, blessed, pure love and lives happily ever after. Ummm, no. The girls were offered to men who passed Daddy's test and when you are "courting with the intention of marriage" along with the pressure of keeping the family reality show going, there are very few options for changing your mind. Jill and Jessa were the First! Duggar! Girls! to enter serious relationships, the People magazine offers would have ended pretty damn quick if they failed. Jinger was supposed to get viewers interested in an otherwise boring season of Counting On. The pressure to prove that the Duggar way of doing things "a little bit differently" is the bestest way of being a successful Christian was riding on the girls being happily ever after. The girls might have said yes to Derrick/Ben/Jeremy/Austin but once it got going, there was no way out.

Jenelle clearly thinks she is the queen of social media, releasing her own emojis and putting every life event out there. But funnily enough, she is beaten on every platform. Twitter - Chelsea (1.72 million), Leah (1.34 million), Jenelle (1.33 million) and Kail (1.26 million) Instagram - Chelsea (4.6 million), Kail (3.1 million) Jenelle (2.6 million), Leah (1.3 million) She posts three times as often as Chelsea on Instagram but barely hits 100k on her photos. Cole and Watson easily get 300k likes and Chelsea's family photos are upwards of 600k. Lurch and poor Ensley are lucky to get 130k and clearly no one gives a rat's arse about Jenelle cause photos of her kids get more likes than her. Hell, Jenelle's engagement photo was outdone by both Watson in a bow tie and Aubree in pig tails. Her *Earth Mother* milk bath photos are all outdone by Watson in a shark onesie. Jenelle might have given birth first but Chelsea got 4 times the number of likes on her baby announcement. I find this hysterical because you just know that it would be killing Jenelle to be losing out on social media. Jenelle has the Instagram perfect vacation, four kids and picturesque swampland but it is all beaten by Aubree holding a chicken. She posts three times as often but can't even get half the likes. For someone as image obsessed as Jenelle, this must be infuriating. Mwahahahahaha

They refuse to realise that Ali's development is different from other children. For any other child, if you want them to be better at something, you have them do more of it. E.g. if you want to be a faster swimmer, do more swimming or if you want to run for longer, do more running. But Ali's condition means that this is completely flipped over. If you want her to be able to walk for the long term, limit her walking now. It doesn't *seem* to make sense because we typically think "practise makes perfect". For most people, being tired because of exercise is a good thing because improves stamina, muscle growth and so on. But for Ali, it is the absolute opposite, it doesn't make her stronger, it makes her weaker. But I can't even put this attitude down to ignorance or misguided lack of understanding. They have been told at least twice a year for the last 5+ years that Ali's best chance of survival comes from limiting physical activity and finding alternative options for her. They know that more running/walking/skipping is bad for her but they put their heads in the sand and say "but her running has got better!". Yes, her running has got better. And for other children that would be a fantastic outcome but not for this child. For this child, physical exhaustion means that her systems are overloaded and eventually breaking down. And the thing that kills me is that they know this is bad for her. They know that the world authority on Ali's condition has told them to use the wheelchair daily but they think that somehow she is going to be the ultimate miracle who defies all medical knowledge. And maybe she will be. But there is a very high, almost certain, chance that it will turn out according to the most knowledgeable person on the planet and Ali's quality of life will deteriorate, accelerated by their refusal to listen to his expertise. They see her falling over multiple times a day because her little legs aren't able to hold her up. They know that a fall is dangerous for her but they still have her playing f*cking sport! Ali's condition isn't the end of the world, millions of people live fantastic lives with physical disabilities. Ali's whole family is failing her and none of them deserve her.

Call me cynical but I think that Boob probably planned it this way. There is almost zero interest in the Joe-Kendra courtship, only the most ardent of leghumpers actually give a damn so People et al wouldn't be throwing the cash at an exclusive for that. By having it at Joy's wedding, Boob can flog off TWO super special, new season of life events in one tragic hit. Neither would get attention individually but he was probably betting that People would be more interested in them together. Coinciding two big announcements could be his way of trying to make the Duggars trend in the news again. If you have a look at the People website, most popular is "Engagement at a wedding!". Hugely tacky to us, $$$$ for Boob.

Just to clarify, it isn't a "true" 50/50 split. Jenelle can have Jace from Friday night to Sunday night every other weekend. So essentially only 4 nights a month (thank you family court fairies) plus the occasional holiday weekend and two weeks of summer break. So from what I can tell, she hasn't actually got much more, it is just now in writing. Answering our prayers, the agreement also includes that neither can talk badly about the other in front of Jace, have someone drunk or high around him and no one else but Jenelle and Barb can physically discipline him. My fear now is that UBT doesn't hold back and Jace is intimidated into silence. Either way, I cannot see Jenelle obeying the conditions of this agreement for longer than a few months. The Ashley has this from an insider: *Neither woman can restrict the other from having access to Jace’s school, medical or other important records. *They are not allowed to call each other names or say anything bad about the other when Jace is present. They must also make sure that no one else (i.e. friends, soulmates, etc.) says anything bad about the other in front of Jace. They must be respectful to one another at all times while Jace is present. *They are not allowed to use illegal drugs (including marijuana), or let anyone else around them use illegal drugs around Jace. In addition, they can’t be under the influence (or have anyone around them who is under the influence with them) while they are with Jace. *They can not drink excessively while Jace is present, nor can they allow others to be drunk around Jace. *They can not change their phone numbers or move without letting the other know. Also, if they take Jace out of the county, they have to let the other know where he will be. *The only people who are allowed to physically discipline Jace are Barbara and Jenelle. The agreement specifically states that no one else may do so.

Here's the thing though. Jill and Jessa stood up in front of the national media and said our parents dealt with the issue correctly. They outright said that avoiding the police, avoiding CPS and avoiding actual counselling was the correct way to deal with an issue of child sexual assault. They cannot in any way, shape or form then say that they are representing the rights of victims when they have directly validated the way that their parents responded to their abuse. You cannot hold up Michelle and Jim Bob's response to the issue which was based around protecting the offender and refusing justice for the victims and then claim that you are striving for better support for future victims. Those messages are contradictory. As much as the Duggar girls don't like it, the report was released legally (as far as I can tell). Was it immoral? Maybe. But as I understand, the court is not there to rule on if releasing a redacted report was ethically right. All identifiable information was redacted, InTouch were betting on the public being able to put 2 + 2 together but neither they, nor the police, released names until Jessa and Jill identified themselves. I feel sorry for the girls in that no child should ever be touched against their will. No child should ever have to be afraid in their own home. But unfortunately, most of that good will was lost when they actively minimised the incident as being not a big deal. They may have only been speaking for themselves but as public figures, they have a loud microphone which they used to say that the molesting of children is in fact very common and they didn't believe it warranted police intervention. Unfortunately the Duggar girls have learnt the hard way that the media may be fawning over you one day and ripping you to shreds the next. Jim Bob's hubris lead them to believe that the world would be so enamored by their Christian brilliance and example that not a single person in the media would be interested in looking into their past. Their parents failed them in every way from not providing a safe home to denying them an education and that is an absolute travesty. But they are adults now and this case says to others that the real crime wasn't the molestation but that other people found out. That is another dangerous message to be sending to vulnerable young people. The Duggars cannot nominate themselves are representatives for victims while also justifying their choice to protect a teenager who molested much younger children and allowing him to stay in the home without professional intervention. So I hope this case is absolutely destroyed because I don't believe they have any interest in helping victims of child sexual abuse based on their response to their own case.

I work with kids Maryssa's age and I call 100% bullsh*t on that letter. Kids that age write about themselves even when it is a card for someone else e.g. "Thanks mom, you make the best brownies for me" or the absolute basics "Happy mothers day, thanks for being a great mom". Unless Maryssa has an extraordinary level of self reflection and maturity, she did not come up with that by herself. Very, very few 9 year olds would sit down and write a two page letter to their stepmom. And I seriously doubt that with Jenelle and UBT as her *parents*, Maryssa is encouraged to think about her feelings and develop empathy. Not to mention that the handwriting is radically different from the first to the last line on the second page. If you have a look at the next page, apparently the 9 year old "prays" for Jenelle when she is sad or sick? Pull the other one. And if it is true, what does it say about her when the kid includes that in her letter? There is no mention of good memories or I love it when we do XYZ, it is all about how wonderful and spectacular Jenelle is. Now maybe the kid really is this introspective and loves Jenelle with all of her heart but when it comes to Jenelle and UBT, you can't trust anything. I could totally see UBT *helping* Maryssa write that letter and *suggesting* what to write. More to the point, I read that Maryssa was having a "rough time at home" and Jenelle saw the perfect opportunity for a live in babysitter for her three spawn and rushed in to be a "mother". What a happy coincidence that right as Jenelle needed someone to watch her infant, Maryssa appeared. How fortunate that unlike Trashbag Tori, Jenelle doesn't have to worry about drug accusations and she can write it off as "Sibling love #momoftheyear #mixedfamilysuccess" Isn't it just precious that Maryssa is around to be "always helping out with all the kids". Also I'd love to know what Jenelle and UBT "work so hard" at to make sure the kids have a roof over their heads. Cause from where I am standing, they seem to work really hard at their child-free vacations and Instagram shots and very little time on childcare and safety. Tiny fragile little Ensley out in the sun on a boat, anyone?

Well I think 2546 days since filing really summarizes this mess. No doubt Jenelle will want us to believe that Barb has managed to manipulate the entire family court system and masterminded the hurricane to keep Jace to herself (like he is a houseplant or something) but I find it very difficult to believe that it takes the North Carolina court system 5 years to hear a basic custody case. For all her bitching and crying and screaming, Jenelle could have got "Jace back" any time that she wanted to. All she had to do was be clean and sober, not in a relationship with a violent criminal, capable of taking care of a child and out of jail for a reasonable amount of time. Hardly difficult conditions to fulfill. Barb isn't some legal expert who has used the intricacies of family law to evade poor Jenelle, Jenelle has done sweet FA to prove that she is a capable parent. She makes the annual pilgrimage to Lawyer Amy to sniffle about how she "wants" Jace "back" (again, he isn't a salad bowl) and then goes home to hand Kaiser off to Nathan/Dave's mom/Marissa/daycare/postman and books her next child-free vacation. I would bet a child-free, Instagram worthy New York holiday that the reason this date has taken so long is because Jenelle has put pretty much every other human above getting Jace back. The dick of the month was automatically given more priority than her actual blood and flesh son who she allegedly is crying over. All this to say that I hope and hope that Jenelle does not get custody of Jace. For all the Snapchat filters she throws on her life, she lives with a violent partner in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by swamp, has few (if any) employment prospects, a short temper and five children rotating in and out of her shop of horrors.

That's what makes me sad about the whole thing. Jo and Javi seem to be prepared to work together to create a blended family even when Kail isn't around, taking the boys out and keeping up the relationship. Jo even invited Lincoln to Vivi's birthday party to give the kids an opportunity to all be together (even though Vivi won't really remember, hahaha). Jo and Javi really seem to make the effort to show the kids that even though they all have different parents, all the adults in their lives (Kail excluded) are there for them. It's then asking a bit much for them to accommodate another guy and another child into what is already a complicated relationship. It's been a long time coming to get Javi, Jo, Vee, Lincoln and Isaac hanging out and enjoying themselves, let alone including a guy who has yet to identify himself as the baby's father. If he isn't prepared to be named as the father, I can't imagine that he is going to be interested in a playdate with his child's two half-siblings and their dads. In that case, Baby Unknown is going to be the odd one out when Jo and Javi do the right thing and try to keep the kids together. And since Baby Unknown won't actually be related to Jo or Javi, they won't be able to take him/her because hell would freeze over and pigs would fly before Kail would let all three of her kids go out to have fun with her exes. If there isn't an Instagram opportunity in it for her, it isn't happening. So we'll get front row seats while Kail picks fights with three different fathers and the kids are at different places at different times of the week. Dealing with three different custody situations would require the ability to compromise, be understanding and organised and Kail clearly has none of those skills. It is beyond frustrating that Kail would "choose" to have a child right when things seemed to be working out with her other kids. After what must have been a tough year for Isaac and Lincoln with Javi deploying, coming back and being kicked out, they really needed stability but instead Kail has thrown another child into the mix which will no doubt will make her even more of a hormonal cow and mess with the dynamics of the house. She's a selfish bitch who didn't use birth control and is now going to be a 3x3. When you have matched Jenelle for baby daddies, it's time to reconsider your life choices.

It is crazy how some people don't have any sense about what is ok. I was talking to a friend who is still close to another girl from our school who got engaged a couple of weeks back. We are all still at uni and the newly engaged couple are planning on waiting until they graduate to get married because even with parents helping, it is going to be bloody expensive (this girl has lovely but high fashion taste). Anyway, so people have started messaging her angling for an invitation to the wedding. Suddenly all these people who she hasn't spoken to for years are gushing about how long it has been since they caught up and they just HAVE to meet up soon. Or bombarding her with questions about when they are thinking, will she be making the dress (she is studying fashion design), where are they thinking, etc, etc. They've been engaged for a fortnight! A couple of others have just gone the direct route and sent messages like "Congrats on the engagement, looking forward to being at your wedding!". Like WTF??? Unless you are her fiance, you can't assume that you will be invited! One of my best friends used to be the cutest little blonde you've seen, big green eyes and blonde ringlets. When she was little, people used to come up, go "Aren't you cute" and touch her hair or her arm or whatever. And it used to freak her out! She has memories of well meaning older ladies who petrified her by entering her personal space and touching her without permission. Completely undermines everything that we teach kids about being in charge of their own bodies. That is why I really hate it when people ask little ones who they don't know well to give them a hug. You aren't entitled to touch someone, just because they are little and adorable. It's their right to not kiss/touch/high five you. Not on the same level as what happened to you @Birdee but I'm just constantly shocked at how insensitive people are. Respect personal space and boundaries!

My 90 year old great uncle (by marriage) was one in 15. His parents lived in a small town in the US, were very Catholic and I believe started having children at 18 or 19. They weren't actively trying for a big family like the Duggars but she was an amazingly fertile woman and they didn't believe in family planning. That said, they were fairly spaced out over 24 years or something like that. There was actually never a time in his childhood where all 15 of the kids were together because the oldest boy joined the army, the second oldest boy joined the navy, the oldest sister married and moved away, etc. He was the second youngest and by the time he was born, the older children had already begun moving out. It wasn't until their parents 50th wedding anniversary that all the kids actually came together and he ended up with more than 100 nieces and nephews just on his side of the family because they all reproduced like bunnies (clearly fertility ran in the family!). He said that as much as he loved all his brothers and sisters, he only had a close relationship with a couple of them because, despite what the Duggars say, you aren't automatically going to be best friends with all your siblings, especially with such a big age gap. He also felt a little sad that he couldn't actually name all his nieces and nephews and again, it was hard to build relationships with so many of them. There is also a little bit of resentment with the middle kids who never really got the attention that the oldest and youngest children got because their parents were so busy and couldn't give them that one-on-one time. While they all love each other, none of the kids went on to hit double digits with their own broods. My great uncle in particular wanted 4 or 5, certainly not 10 or 11. I always loved listening to his stories about growing up because you don't see that in Australia today. It's also an interesting contrast to the Duggars who insist that everyone is best friends and they all love spending every day with their siblings. In his family, the oldest moved out because they weren't interested in living with the under 10 crowd and frankly, had to get jobs. The Duggars could probably learn a few lessons!

TM3 Katie said that she has no interest in coming back to TV and after the show ended, she went to school to become a CAP (Certified Addictions Practitioner) and now works at an inpatient treatment centre for recovering addicts. As well as having a full time job, she also owns her own house. She's currently expecting a baby with her boyfriend and said, "The sign of happy relationship is no sign of it on social media" (shock, horror!). Apparently she is going to be having a little girl and the pregnancy was planned. She sometimes does that crappy "I love this lipstick, give the code KATIE for 10% off" on Instagram but since she has her life together, I'll give her a pass. In summary, one of the few TM girls to leave TV actually got her life together and now has a degree, stable relationship and boyfriend. Not to mention she is actually "saving lives" (Jenelle take notes) and had the dedication to finish her degree without getting pregnant. That is the sort of Teen Mom that should be shown, someone who actually overcame an abusive relationship and a teen pregnancy and managed to go to school, get a reliable career and care for her daughter without dick-jumping. http://www.theashleysrealityroundup.com/2015/10/09/exclusive-interview-teen-mom-3-star-katie-yeager-where-is-she-now/ http://starcasm.net/archives/357217