S09.E10: Are You Committed?

[thevegan]

Had to make an account so I could share my revelation of who Amber reminds me of...

A young Glenn Danzig! I can't un-see it.

(I also immediately made the Jerry Seinfeld/Jamie and Kathy Griffen/Elizabeth connection, so I was happy to see others noticed too. I can't look at Jamie and NOT see Jerry.)

[valdawn]

25 minutes ago, thevegan said:

Had to make an account so I could share my revelation of who Amber reminds me of...

A young Glenn Danzig! I can't un-see it.

(I also immediately made the Jerry Seinfeld/Jamie and Kathy Griffen/Elizabeth connection, so I was happy to see others noticed too. I can't look at Jamie and NOT see Jerry.)

Omg 😂 yes she totally does! 

[Gem 10]

On 8/16/2019 at 3:49 PM, topanga said:

Very poetic. I love it. 

Somehow, I can't imaging Keith saying all of those words unless he were singing them in a song.  

Speaking of which, why haven't we heard him sing or play music? All I know about his music life is that he likes vinyl records. And Prince. 

Matt fooled me on the first episode (The Wedding Day ep). He was laid-back, but he was still pleasant, and he actually talked. No mumbling or stroking his beard nervously. 

I think his current behavior stems from a combination of not being into Amber and not wanting to be married at all. Even if Matt had been matched with a supermodel, sure he might be more attracted to her, but he'd soon start to feel smothered and would leave home for hours at a time to 'clear his head.' The difference is that his super-model wife probably wouldn't take him back. 

This, I guess, is all true, but some couples got thru the cracks of dishonesty like Anthony PETA, A.J., Bobby & Danielle, and who else .. I can’t remember.  It’s a stupid show, but I still love it.  The writers and production are doing their job pretty well.

[nr65000]

On 8/15/2019 at 7:32 AM, karenbrady said:

So Pastor Cal got in Luke's azzzzzz last season and this season he totally dropped the ball on Lying, Creepy Matt. Whatever 'Pastor'.

Last week another poster commented about the similarities between Matt and Luke and I think they were exactly right.  They both seem to despise their "spouses", yet continue to gaslight them by yanking them back and forth....they have sex (I want you), then disappear (I hate you), then say whatever they need to yank the wife back in (I'm 100% committed), then make snide and sarcastic remarks to them (I hate you) etc etc ad nauseum. 

Both Amber and Luke's wife (I forgot her name!) are also very similar in that they both seem to be pretty willing participants...Amber is distraught when Matt leaves, but all he has to do is mumble something even vaguely nice or promising and she jumps right back in. 

Pastor Cal did go after Luke last season but seemed to let Matt off pretty easily.  The counselor lady that was talking with Amber seemed incredulous that Amber said she was still committed...her eyes literally bugged out of her head!  

Also, IRIS...it's fine that you are a virgin.  It's not fine that you act like a idiotic tween at the mention of sex.  Keith told someone (idk) that Iris's sexual immaturity was a turn off and I can't see how it wouldn't be.  Grow the fuck up Iris, you wanted to be married.  You volunteered to be married at FIRST SIGHT!  Being married is for grown ass women and you need to start acting like one.

That's all I got.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Both Amber and Luke's wife (I forgot her name!)

Kate.

[MajorNelson]

On 8/15/2019 at 7:06 AM, configdotsys said:

I deleted the episodes but didn't Pepper visit them after the last fight and specifically say, "There are two bedrooms here. Do not walk out the door. If you need space, just go into a room and close the door," or something similar? They were both agreeable to that solution but now Jamie freaks out about it and wants to force her to talk to him when she's incredibly upset. 

Yes, I heard that earlier as well.  This couple goes ballistic or attacking very quickly, so they needed rules to prevent blow outs.  Oh well!

[Gem 10]

On 8/18/2019 at 12:47 AM, PityFree said:

 That’s my guess, too.  And just for the record a hymen doesn’t mean crap about virginity. I’m sure you’ve all seen the Adam ruins everything: SEX episode.  I didn’t bleed when I had sex for the first time.  But I did grow up playing sports, riding bikes, dancing, riding horses, etc.  Is broken hymen Iris’ secret shame? If so, she is ridiculous.

I don’t think she’s shamed.  I think she thinks she is someone who is ver special and we should all kiss the ring.  Like she’s the only one in the world who’s pure. Pfitt.  Meanwhile there are millions that are virgins and don’t feel the need to be so special.

[Ilovepie]

26 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

I think she thinks she is someone who is ver special and we should all kiss the ring.  Like she’s the only one in the world who’s pure.

Yeah, someone who is going on national tv and admitting to oral sex and "other things" ain't that pure. At this point it's just a technicality.

Now, if you are talking someone like those Duggar kids who are not left unchaperoned until their wedding and don't do anything more than hold hands before the wedding, then you can say you are pure.

Iris can take a seat.

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

Yeah, someone who is going on national tv and admitting to oral sex and "other things" ain't that pure. At this point it's just a technicality.

Now, if you are talking someone like those Duggar kids who are not left unchaperoned until their wedding and don't do anything more than hold hands before the wedding, then you can say you are pure.

Iris can take a seat.

Yeah, I don’t know how I forgot about that.  What do her parents think about that?  They all must be mortified.  Maybe it’s just me, but to reveal doing that before marriage is worse than anything.  Her poor Father.

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

eah, I don’t know how I forgot about that.  What do her parents think about that?  They all must be mortified.  Maybe it’s just me, but to reveal doing that before marriage is worse than anything.  Her poor Father.

Oh my gosh - her father! Remember him crying at the wedding? He is going to lose his mind when he sees this! He's going to have a stroke when he sees Keith licking that goo from her inner thigh!

Elizabeth's creepy dad better avert his eyes as well............

Rough season for the dads..........

[Lily247]

OMG. After finally finishing this episode, I am exhausted from:

Iris' vaginal virginity (duh). How MANY guys has she done oral sex with is what I'd like to know. 

The free spirit who has no self awareness 

Amber's theatrical crying 

[Mazzy]

12 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I don’t think she’s shamed.  I think she thinks she is someone who is ver special and we should all kiss the ring.  Like she’s the only one in the world who’s pure. Pfitt.  Meanwhile there are millions that are virgins and don’t feel the need to be so special.

This 100% - I also don't believe she is at all scared or ashamed of something to do with her body. I believe whole-heartedly that she wants to lord sex over men in a very immature, high school kid way. I think Keith is spot on when he says she is immature. She is the only one that thinks her vajay is lined in gold and sparkles with the twinkle of stars, and she seems to expect men to want to fall over themselves to get to it. I think it actually pisses her off that Keith doesn't try harder to get at it.
 

12 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Now, if you are talking someone like those Duggar kids who are not left unchaperoned until their wedding and don't do anything more than hold hands before the wedding, then you can say you are pure.

Iris can take a seat.

There's nothing pure about those Duggar nutbars. All those huge litter families that are uber religious are F'ed up. Females tend to have a lower sex drive than males in their formative years but it's shown time and time again that if the males aren't allowed any access to the opposite sex they will gladly substitute a sister for a girl they would have met outside the family - as is the case with the Duggars. All those litter familys are crunchy nutbars.

And lastly, I didn't see the preview of Elizabeth's table flipping, but as toxic as her and Jamie are, I think they are both toxic individually too and maybe that is why they enjoy each other's crazy ?? Jamie is super mentally abusive but Elizabeth is seeming to show herself to be abusive in her own way too.

[humbleopinion]

I wish I could not see Manber.

On the other hand,I wonder what hair product Man Amber uses to get such shiny locks...maybe a serum.....

Photo taken in a public restroom....classy

Edited August 21, 2019 by humbleopinion

[suzeecat]

On ‎8‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 4:06 PM, lids said:

 Maybe she tells Keith she’s on birth control or planning in Vito or something.

Maybe she's saving herself for Vito, LOL!  Sorry, couldn't resist . . .

[Liberty]

13 hours ago, Lily247 said:

 How MANY guys has she done oral sex with is what I'd like to know. 

Iris may think talking about sex is oral sex.

[humbleopinion]

Typing about sex is a hand job....

[Ohwell]

*fans self*  

[SerenityNow721]

When I first “met” Beth, I thought she had a great attitude about marrying a stranger.  I got the impression that she’d made up her mind to give 100% to whoever she was matched with.  I believe she has her issues, daddy and otherwise, but most of the time it seems like she’s reacting to Jamie and not initiating arguments.  I think she was honestly puzzled when she asked how he felt about his parents’ marriage and he got completely offended, stormed off and wanted an apology. Later, when talking to an expert (forget who) and he said he wanted to get to know her, etc. I was disappointed that no one called him out for talking shit. His wife wanted to know about how his parents divorce affected him. His wife was trying to get to know him.  And this week, even after he’d been told to watch the way he talks to Beth, he gets pissed that she was commenting on how pretty she felt on her wedding day. The fact that he hasn’t learned to just stop for one second and ask himself if this is worth arguing about and to question  whether or not his anger is justified, makes me wonder if he should be married to anyone.  He seems to get over the top angry at the most trivial things.

Unpopular opinion:  I feel bad for Matt. My guess is that if he left home at 16, there were issues.  The family may have been tight at one point, but his parents break up traumatized him in some way that we don’t know about.  I can see someone who is on the outs with family wanting to find someone of their own and “get it right”. I get the feeling he just has no idea how to do that. He is so used to being on his own that he doesn’t know how to work with another person.  I just don’t see him as malicious or mean spirited.  And I don’t fault Amber either. She’s married and wants to give her husband every chance to work out his growing pains.  I know if I was used to being on my own and, all of a sudden, found myself in a situation where I was around another person 24/7, I might need to catch my breath every now and then. There’s what you think marriage is gonna be and then there’s how marriage really is. 

[Ohwell]

I like Matt but I can't excuse him staying out all night like he's doing.  That's no way to treat your partner, whether he plans to stay married to her or not.  

[Ilovepie]

14 hours ago, Mazzy said:

There's nothing pure about those Duggar nutbars. All those huge litter families that are uber religious are F'ed up. Females tend to have a lower sex drive than males in their formative years but it's shown time and time again that if the males aren't allowed any access to the opposite sex they will gladly substitute a sister for a girl they would have met outside the family - as is the case with the Duggars. All those litter familys are crunchy nutbars.

Ha! Ok, maybe not the Duggars specifically, but there are super religious people who actually do not engage in ANYTHING prior to marriage. To me, that is purity. Iris and her "other things" and oral is not the picture of purity. I was a "technical virgin" a la Iris when I got married, but I didn't talk about it with ANYONE other than my significant other(s). And I because I "saved" myself for marriage, I definitely cared about the odds of longevity when I did decide to get married. Hell, I broke up with my first true love because I knew we wouldn't make it long term. I think if Iris really valued her virginity that much she shouldn't have chosen this path. She wants a forever person, which I don't fault her for, but this is absolutely not the way to do it, and it's really not fair to Keith. I honestly don't know why someone like her would pick this. It's truly baffling.........

Edited August 21, 2019 by Ilovepie
vaginity is not a word, but maybe it should be? ;-0

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, SerenityNow721 said:

Unpopular opinion:  I feel bad for Matt. My guess is that if he left home at 16, there were issues.  The family may have been tight at one point, but his parents break up traumatized him in some way that we don’t know about.  I can see someone who is on the outs with family wanting to find someone of their own and “get it right”. I get the feeling he just has no idea how to do that. He is so used to being on his own that he doesn’t know how to work with another person.  I just don’t see him as malicious or mean spirited.  And I don’t fault Amber either. She’s married and wants to give her husband every chance to work out his growing pains.  I know if I was used to being on my own and, all of a sudden, found myself in a situation where I was around another person 24/7, I might need to catch my breath every now and then. There’s what you think marriage is gonna be and then there’s how marriage really is. 

I agree that if Matt left home at 16 (I can’t recall - was it boarding school or did he go live with friends?) something was up that would seem to indicate some family dysfunction. I’m usually pretty sympathetic to that. I also think that Matt literally has no idea how to be a good husband or partner - but I’m not sure that I see any evidence of a willingness to learn. I had a very hard time excusing the first time he stayed out all night but even I bought his story that he didn’t realize he should let Amber know where he was, after she explained her feelings to him (and you know, basic human decency to let your partner know you won’t be home and aren’t dead in a ditch somewhere) he turned around and did it again - for twice as long! I don’t necessarily see him as mean or malicious but I do think he is dumber than a bag of hair and pretty self-centered and immature. 

[SerenityNow721]

Dumb people need love too, amiright??  😂😂

[Retired at last]

@SerenityNow721, aren't Jamie and Elizabeth proof of that? OK, and Amber.

[PamelaMaeSnap]

On 8/21/2019 at 6:47 PM, Ilovepie said:

Ha! Ok, maybe not the Duggars specifically, but there are super religious people who actually do not engage in ANYTHING prior to marriage. To me, that is purity. Iris and her "other things" and oral is not the picture of purity. I was a "technical virgin" a la Iris when I got married, but I didn't talk about it with ANYONE other than my significant other(s). And I because I "saved" myself for marriage, I definitely cared about the odds of longevity when I did decide to get married. Hell, I broke up with my first true love because I knew we wouldn't make it long term. I think if Iris really valued her virginity that much she shouldn't have chosen this path. She wants a forever person, which I don't fault her for, but this is absolutely not the way to do it, and it's really not fair to Keith. I honestly don't know why someone like her would pick this. It's truly baffling.........

Just wondering ... has anyone coined the term "vaginity" yet? 

ETA to answer my own question, it's in the Urban Dictionary. 

Edited August 23, 2019 by PamelaMaeSnap

[Gem 10]

On 8/21/2019 at 4:21 PM, SerenityNow721 said:

When I first “met” Beth, I thought she had a great attitude about marrying a stranger.  I got the impression that she’d made up her mind to give 100% to whoever she was matched with.  I believe she has her issues, daddy and otherwise, but most of the time it seems like she’s reacting to Jamie and not initiating arguments.  I think she was honestly puzzled when she asked how he felt about his parents’ marriage and he got completely offended, stormed off and wanted an apology. Later, when talking to an expert (forget who) and he said he wanted to get to know her, etc. I was disappointed that no one called him out for talking shit. His wife wanted to know about how his parents divorce affected him. His wife was trying to get to know him.  And this week, even after he’d been told to watch the way he talks to Beth, he gets pissed that she was commenting on how pretty she felt on her wedding day. The fact that he hasn’t learned to just stop for one second and ask himself if this is worth arguing about and to question  whether or not his anger is justified, makes me wonder if he should be married to anyone.  He seems to get over the top angry at the most trivial things.

Unpopular opinion:  I feel bad for Matt. My guess is that if he left home at 16, there were issues.  The family may have been tight at one point, but his parents break up traumatized him in some way that we don’t know about.  I can see someone who is on the outs with family wanting to find someone of their own and “get it right”. I get the feeling he just has no idea how to do that. He is so used to being on his own that he doesn’t know how to work with another person.  I just don’t see him as malicious or mean spirited.  And I don’t fault Amber either. She’s married and wants to give her husband every chance to work out his growing pains.  I know if I was used to being on my own and, all of a sudden, found myself in a situation where I was around another person 24/7, I might need to catch my breath every now and then. There’s what you think marriage is gonna be and then there’s how marriage really is. 

I could understand Elizabeth looking at her pictures for the first time.  Her hair, her makeup, her dress.  It’s complicated dressing a bride.  A guy looks the same with a suit or tux, right or No?  Plus, he didn’t even give her a chance to look at everything.  But,  I think she is extremely spoiled, probably from her father.

[Ilovepie]

18 hours ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

Just wondering ... has anyone coined the term "vaginity" yet?  

ETA to answer my own question, it's in the Urban Dictionary. 

This made me laugh - maybe I should have left it in my post - it sums her up completely!

[Ilovepie]

31 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

I could understand Elizabeth looking at her pictures for the first time.  Her hair, her makeup, her dress.  It’s complicated dressing a bride.  A guy looks the same with a suit or tux, right or No?  Plus, he didn’t even give her a chance to look at everything.  But,  I think she is extremely spoiled, probably from her father.

I agree re: the bride thing. Brides spend a lot of time and money to get ready; what do most guys do - maybe get a haircut, shower and shave??? Plus, he seemed pissed saying "I thought it was about us". Someone needs to school him that although it is about the couple, the wedding is really the bride's day. There is a reason the guy just goes and stands at the front and the bride makes a grand entrance where everyone stands when she walks in.

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

I agree re: the bride thing. Brides spend a lot of time and money to get ready; what do most guys do - maybe get a haircut, shower and shave??? Plus, he seemed pissed saying "I thought it was about us". Someone needs to school him that although it is about the couple, the wedding is really the bride's day. There is a reason the guy just goes and stands at the front and the bride makes a grand entrance where everyone stands when she walks in.

Apparently, he got offended that she had the floor for five minutes.  That is so petty.  It’s a woman’s dream day come true since she was little.  He’s a wuss.  As long as they will be together, there will always be competition.

[nutella fitzgerald]

21 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I could understand Elizabeth looking at her pictures for the first time.  Her hair, her makeup, her dress.  It’s complicated dressing a bride.  A guy looks the same with a suit or tux, right or No?  Plus, he didn’t even give her a chance to look at everything.  But,  I think she is extremely spoiled, probably from her father.

Bolding mine.

I think I missed the significance of that at first because we saw the weddings two months ago and have been shown clips and still shots from them once a week. Elizabeth might have gotten to see, like, pictures taken on her family’s or friends’ phones, but that’s completely different from professional photographs.