Hoarders - General Discussion

[Elizzikra]

Quote

How t h did that huge amount of black dust get on top of the ceiling fan? 

She said the house was 100 years old - maybe she has never cleaned it? Maybe she is a smoker (it's common in that area). 

My dad grew up in McKeesport and I spent a lot of time there visiting family when I was a kid. That's such a typical McKeesport house (not the hoarding part, just the style of the house and the relatively small lot). And her accent... brought back memories.

[LittleIggy]

Selfish old woman wouldn’t donate never worn (and never will be worn) new shoes to people who could actually use them. 😡

I still think they should secretly dispose of stuff at the bottom of those piles since the hoarder hasn’t seen the 💩 in years and doubtless doesn’t remember it. 😏

 

[CrazyInAlabama]

If the U-Boxes are $90 a month, plus tax, and she has four of them, then that's $400 a month, and five would be $500.    With her mortgage going back up soon (or maybe already did), then she's not going to be able to pay her mortgage.    I doubt there is anyway that Tom will pay her mortgage, since he's been living with his mother and brother at their house.    

My guess is that Debbie will start trying for a discount on the storage container price.   I wonder if she actually did rent the storage for her own use?   However, that still leaves at least twice as many storage containers needed for the rest of her junk, including the basement.   I wonder if that house has an attic?   If so, I bet it's full too.   

Sadly, another hoarder who proved they only care about their junk, and not about anyone in their life.   I bet if Tom doesn't have the money to support her mortgage, and storing her hoard, that he'll be gone too.   I found Debbie's statement about wearing all kinds of pain patches, and the bottle of cough syrup in her purse, to be concerning.   I wonder if that's part of the explanation for her changing behavior.   

The high school crush, Tom, was really thinking he's won the woman of his dreams, but she didn't even remember him from then.    Tom will only be her fiance if he pays her bills, and if he can't, then he'll be gone. 

St. Jude's is wonderful, but Children's Hospital of Philadelphia is one of the best in the world too.  I just hope wherever Josh goes, he will be healthy, and happy.   

I really hope her grandson Josh triumphs over the cancer, and goes on with his life.    

Edited May 19, 2021 by CrazyInAlabama

[enoughcats]

Here's a depressing as hell read about a town in Pennsylvania with lots of pictures of houses. What it takes to get action on a piece of property may explain why Debbie is tolerated.  Her house front yard looks good. No landscaping, but that's not expected.  But the article talks about how helpless the local 'codes' guys feel and why.

[Cherpumple]

I was cautiously optimistic about Debbie at first because she seemed to have a lot going for her that other hoarders don't. She had lots of love and support (her daughter and grandson were awesome), wasn't a life-long slob, and mainly seemed like someone who just got overwhelmed by the tragedies in her life and lost her way. And during the initial walkthrough she seemed genuinely unhappy and uncomfortable in the hoard, unlike others who relish in all their stuff and don't see a problem with it, no matter how contaminated it is. I knew the cleanup wouldn't be smooth sailing, but on balance, I still think she is one of the more pleasant hoarders, and I'm not counting her out just yet.

I agree that Tom is viewing her through nostalgia-tinted glasses, but he seems like a nice guy who loves her, and I wish them well. It was shocking to see the news about Josh on the final BSOJ, and I hope he makes a full recovery.

The new cleaner (Brandon) was great! He had such a calm, soothing manner that really worked for this job. I love Matt and Corey, but you can really see how worn down they've become after years of dealing with this. I don't blame them!

[Kelly]

5 hours ago, Cherpumple said:

I was cautiously optimistic about Debbie at first because she seemed to have a lot going for her that other hoarders don't. She had lots of love and support (her daughter and grandson were awesome), wasn't a life-long slob, and mainly seemed like someone who just got overwhelmed by the tragedies in her life and lost her way. And during the initial walkthrough she seemed genuinely unhappy and uncomfortable in the hoard, unlike others who relish in all their stuff and don't see a problem with it, no matter how contaminated it is. I knew the cleanup wouldn't be smooth sailing, but on balance, I still think she is one of the more pleasant hoarders, and I'm not counting her out just yet.

Yes, I was optimistic for her too...at first.  When she launched into how she hated taking care of her father, and going on and on - I thought ok, here come all the excuses.

Also interesting that her sister passed away in her hoard.  It’s too bad that Debbie, even though she SAYS she doesn’t want to end up that way...probably will.  She really doesn’t WANT to change.  Doesn’t want therapy etc

The first fit she had w Brandon when his team took “too much stuff” outside for sorting, and if only they had done it “her way” 🙄.

She really reminded me of one of my sisters.  Also a hoarder.  The way she kept harping on how things should be done, and her way is the best way etc. We have helped my sister move several times, and she is the same.  Repeating over and over to us “we are doing this my way” and when you try to sort or figure out what can be thrown out, is just a robot saying “that’s mine” and “ I’m keeping that”.  Cool...let me know how those 60 tote bags work out for you.  😒

Edited May 19, 2021 by Kelly

[ams1001]

6 hours ago, Cherpumple said:

The new cleaner (Brandon) was great! He had such a calm, soothing manner that really worked for this job. I love Matt and Corey, but you can really see how worn down they've become after years of dealing with this. I don't blame them!

Yes! I really liked him.

[Ligeia]

This season was so agonizingly boring. Bring back the poop ladies and the 2 hoarders per episode !

[Kid]

On 5/17/2021 at 9:31 PM, camom said:

Joshua was a very mature 13 year old, much more mature than his grandmother. Poor kid diagnosed with a brain tumor. Sometimes life just isn’t fair. 

I COULD NOT BELIEVE how Debbie carried on about that room  that was supposed to be for her grandson and right in front of him.  How hurt he must have been. He is kinder than her, more mature than her, more smart than her and she resents him because she had to take care of him when he was younger.  Well, you know what, she does not deserve that grandson.  I really hope that wonderful young man survives and lives a long, long life.

I cannot stomach an active addict. Not in these times. There is no longer a stigma for getting help, there are programs that are free in which miracles happen every day when people take responsibility  for their lives and put other things and other people before they’re selfish need to get a fix.  
 

Debbie is a perfect example of a person choosing to stay in addiction  - the show offered aftercare but she does not want it BECAUSE  the only reason dear Debbie was so excited about the areas they cleaned out is that she now has more room to collect more junk.

Boyfriend needs his head examined.

 

Edited May 19, 2021 by Kid

[RobustRutabaga]

On 5/19/2021 at 1:54 AM, Cherpumple said:

The new cleaner (Brandon) was great! He had such a calm, soothing manner that really worked for this job. I love Matt and Corey, but you can really see how worn down they've become after years of dealing with this. I don't blame them!

Yeah - I enjoyed a new face in that role, too. I see A&E put up a biography for Brandon - I guess I kind of assumed this episode would close out the season and any website updates would be non-existent or slow especially if the person is in just one episode, until they're actively promoting a new season, so that's a pleasant surprise. And "The Zazz" (Dr. Zasio) is sure doing a lot of the counselling heavy-lifting these last few episodes - I realize they might be shot and shown out of different orders depending on editing time and a variety of other factors, but The Zazz is all-in this season!

[RobustRutabaga]

On 5/19/2021 at 12:21 PM, Kid said:

I COULD NOT BELIEVE how Debbie carried on about that room  that was supposed to be for her grandson and right in front of him.  How hurt he must have been. He is kinder than her, more mature than her, more smart than her and she resents him because she had to take care of him when he was younger.  Well, you know what, she does not deserve that grandson.  I really hope that wonderful young man survives and lives a long, long life.

Agreed, I was mighty impressed at the grandson, Joshua's, maturity and well-spokenness. The "Hoarders" crew recognized that in his words at the pre-clean speech/gathering/pep-talk and good-naturedly joked that they should just step aside and let him take over even at that early point, but he was rational and realistic throughout the episode with his assessment of things (especially in his onetime guest room) and giving some "tough love" rationality towards Debbie on her sorting table outside.

Plus, you have to think not a lot of teenagers would want to appear on a show like this and thus potentially be teased by classmates, etc. in the end when it airs, so kudos for him if he didn't care about that and the priority for him was helping get his grandmother's life in order. If we look at hoarding as a mental illness indeed and not just circus freak-show spectacle, then there's nothing wrong with it, but kids/teens "can be so cruel" indeed!

That's not the first time I've seen an immature (emotionally or mentally) or spaced-out or wrong-priority grandparent or parent figure, and the kid is the mature one - I always wonder if that's a reaction to that behavior that, as counterbalance, the kid has to be the "grown-up" in that interaction just from a practical sense or the behaviors and coping they need. Or nature's way of counterbalancing.

The way that "BSOJ" so casually dropped the brain tumor information was shocking but I wish him a great, long life.

[Kid]

10 hours ago, RobustRutabaga said:

Agreed, I was mighty impressed at the grandson, Joshua's, maturity and well-spokenness. The "Hoarders" crew recognized that in his words at the pre-clean speech/gathering/pep-talk and good-naturedly joked that they should just step aside and let him take over even at that early point, but he was rational and realistic throughout the episode with his assessment of things (especially in his onetime guest room) and giving some "tough love" rationality towards Debbie on her sorting table outside.

Plus, you have to think not a lot of teenagers would want to appear on a show like this and thus potentially be teased by classmates, etc. in the end when it airs, so kudos for him if he didn't care about that and the priority for him was helping get his grandmother's life in order. If we look at hoarding as a mental illness indeed and not just circus freak-show spectacle, then there's nothing wrong with it, but kids/teens "can be so cruel" indeed!

That's not the first time I've seen an immature (emotionally or mentally) or spaced-out or wrong-priority grandparent or parent figure, and the kid is the mature one - I always wonder if that's a reaction to that behavior that, as counterbalance, the kid has to be the "grown-up" in that interaction just from a practical sense or the behaviors and coping they need. Or nature's way of counterbalancing.

The way that "BSOJ" so casually dropped the brain tumor information was shocking but I wish him a great, long life.

So well said!!!!  It’s just like a child of an alcoholic.    They become the adult taking care of the drunk.

You have to wonder about Joshua’s mother- leaving him in the care of an addict.  Hire a damn responsible babysitter or put him in day care.

[camom]

I could be mistaken, but I think things didn't get bad at Debbie's house until after her father's death.  So when the grandson was very young and was staying with her it was probably OK.  She sure was resentful of having to take care of others, though.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I bet Debbie and her house were fine when Joshua was little, and before the father died, and after that he didn't stay at Debbie's house.  

I think Debbie will be as close to happy as she ever gets, if everyone leaves her to deteriorate in her piles of junk.    I bet she has found someone to put the junk back in the house, and is sitting there cackling about how she put one over on everyone.    She has no interest in cleaning up or organizing, and only wants to be left alone to die in her hoard.  

Edited May 22, 2021 by CrazyInAlabama

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

On 5/22/2021 at 3:30 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

Debbie will be as close to happy as she ever gets, if everyone leaves her to deteriorate in her piles of junk.    I bet she has found someone to put the junk back in the house, and is sitting there cackling about how she put one over on everyone.    She has no interest in cleaning up or organizing, and only wants to be left alone to die in her hoard.  

It took me a while to watch this episode and man, Debbie, reminded me of a lady I know that will argue and talk, talk, talk until I finally have to cut her off.  Her family probably just says "FINE." to shut her up. I was particularly upset about all those brand new shoes that could be donated.  It's bad enough she keeps the old shoes, but to deprive somebody who is needy of new shoes is really selfish. 

Debbie was just so resentful of her father. Hey, the guy's dead, give it up for the family you have living now. 

Sending Joshua healing vibes and positive thoughts. 

[Cherpumple]

Remember when we were wondering where Delores got all her over the top Faux Liberace, Rococo Bordello furniture? Well, I went sofa shopping the other day, and came across this little beauty. And yes, those are rhinestones in the tufting. It was hard as a rock! Don't tell Delores!

 

[borealis]

That sofa! Bless its heart.

[Katielindy]

118 s clay ave, Ferguson Missouri. Sold for only $75,000 on 4/8/20. 

[Alisgg]

Why wasn’t Carol incarcerated for elder abuse?  There needs to be a follow up episode showing that she continues to hoard at her son’s.  They also need to have a 2nd autopsy on Be as Carol is a sneaky, conniving  beotch! I’m sure she had a part in Be’s death. This entire situation smells and not just of Carol’s hoard. Her pity party didn’t bode well for her, did it? 

[essexjan]

On 5/11/2021 at 10:44 PM, deedee2 said:

Hmm, that's a new one for me. I've watched on Youtube all the available "How Clean Is Your House" episodes, and "The Hoarder Next Door" (or whatever it's called. The one with psychologist, Stelios Kioses). There's also the Hoarder series with Jasmine something ... the woman who grew up with a Hoarder mother.

The British hoarding shows are vastly different from the American ones. More lighthearted and (imo) effective. At least the hoarders are given weeks or months rather than 3 days to address the task of clearing their home while tackling their psychological issues.

 

The Life Laundry was a really good show. The hoarders were often not the filthy hoarder types we see on Hoarders, but people who had far too much stuff and couldn't let go of any of it. I remember one woman had kept all her grandmother's clothes because she'd loved her so much and couldn't let them go.

The expert (a woman called, I believe, Dawna Walter) would have the house emptied out and everything put in a church hall or a school gym, so the hoarder could see how much stuff they had, which was often a shock to them. It was easier to look through everything when it was all laid out like that. There was a lot of support to get to the bottom of why the person was hanging onto these things and learning what did, or did not, have value, either monetary or sentimental. Then things would be sorted for keep, donate, junk.

One of the more important parts of the show was that they would have this giant crusher and the person would be encouraged to get rid of things that they were hanging on to for reasons that were unhealthy, or which had bad associations, by throwing them into the crusher themselves.

I recall the woman with her grandma's clothes ended up with a collage being made for her out of the pieces of the fabrics of the clothes she loved the most. That way, she had a reminder of her grandma that she could see all the time (as it was hung on the wall) rather than chests and closets and drawers full of old-fashioned clothes that she would never wear and couldn't bear to look at.

I also recall a few years ago on a UK show called Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners* that a woman who had bullied me when I was at school turned up on it. She was one of those hoarders who'd buy bags of fresh vegetables because she was "going to go on a diet" and then just leave them on the kitchen floor, so there were bags and bags of rotting vegetables that had been there for weeks or months, in various stages of decomposition, from mushy to primordial sludge, with the accompanying flies. She and her 19-year-old daughter lived in utter squalor and as I sat watching in my lovely, clean home, looking at their hovel, their kitchen filled with dirty dishes, soiled laundry all over the place, their bathroom that turned my stomach with its shit-encrusted toilet and blackened bathtub, I felt that all was right with the universe, and that there was such a thing as karma.

Here's a snippet I found on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5Fiq8heI4w

 

*Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners is the Best Hoarder Show Ever. They get someone who is OCD around cleaning and take them to the house of a hoarder so they can clean it. The OCD person is often way over the top, spending hours a day cleaning their house, and so they, of course, freak out at the state of the hoarder's house. Likewise, the hoarder goes into meltdown when their trash is thrown out. It panders to all my worst traits, but I am unashamed about my love of these shows, so I watch it but just never tell anyone I know...

Edited May 30, 2021 by essexjan

[BrownBear2012]

On 4/13/2021 at 9:24 AM, enoughcats said:

That's northeast of Pittsburg, and seems to be far enough away that it won't be a subdivision in anyone's lifetime. (We bought a Packard and a half from someone who lives an equal distance away from Pittsburg and it wasn't a growth area. The Packard disassembled finds our barn warmer in winter than PA.)

When  Dorothy reached out and hugged Cobra, I wondered if she had lost her sense of smell to Covid?  He wasn't anywhere close to clean, and the house had her grasping her facemask like a life preserver.  I was pleased to see that the workers who were condemned to the kitchen clean up were wearing seriously heavy duty masks.

Did I see that the fly encrusted fly paper strips were so fresh that they were still catching flys? 

Pennsyltucky.

[JudyObscure]

19 hours ago, essexjan said:

*Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners is the Best Hoarder Show Ever.

Sqeee, Jan!  I'm so excited to know someone who knows someone on my favorite show!  That filthy ol'  bag bullied you?  A pox on her from across the pond!

For years I've watched episodes of that on You Tube after "Hoarders" as sort of a palate cleanser.  

As you know, the show always begins with one of the OCD clean people and then goes to the hoarder they're going to help.  When the show switches to the hoarder's house they always play this horror movie music that never fails to make me laugh.

My favorite is Leslie with her daughter, I feel cleaner just watching the opening where Leslie, with her blonde crew-cut, in her spotless house, is "Hoovering! Hoovering within an inch of me life!"

 

 

[Cherpumple]

On 5/30/2021 at 1:24 PM, essexjan said:

She and her 19-year-old daughter lived in utter squalor and as I sat watching in my lovely, clean home, looking at their hovel, their kitchen filled with dirty dishes, soiled laundry all over the place, their bathroom that turned my stomach with its shit-encrusted toilet and blackened bathtub, I felt that all was right with the universe, and that there was such a thing as karma.

Wow, that must have been satisfying!

On 5/30/2021 at 1:24 PM, essexjan said:

Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners is the Best Hoarder Show Ever. They get someone who is OCD around cleaning and take them to the house of a hoarder so they can clean it.

I would love for Hoarders to try some kind of exchange program, where they have two hoarders switch houses for a day, just to see if it would help them "get it" when they are stuck in a hoard that they don't know how to navigate and holds no personal attachment for them. I don't know how successful it would be, but it would be fun to watch.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I bet in case of a switch, each hoarder would hate the other person's house and hoard, but still think their house is fine.  

[funky-rat]

20 hours ago, BrownBear2012 said:

Pennsyltucky.

Except Cobra lives slightly north of Harrisburg.  That area is rural, but I wouldn't call it that.

[ozziemom]

@essexjan thanks for the link to my new favorite, Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. Good variety of folks, both the cleaners and their cleanee.

[LGraves65]

Quote

*Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners is the Best Hoarder Show Ever. They get someone who is OCD around cleaning and take them to the house of a hoarder so they can clean it. The OCD person is often way over the top, spending hours a day cleaning their house, and so they, of course, freak out at the state of the hoarder's house. Likewise, the hoarder goes into meltdown when their trash is thrown out. It panders to all my worst traits, but I am unashamed about my love of these shows, so I watch it but just never tell anyone I know...

OH EMM GEE MY PEOPLE. I love OCC so much!  I wish they'd make a forum.

[AZChristian]

3 hours ago, LGraves65 said:

OH EMM GEE MY PEOPLE. I love OCC so much!  I wish they'd make a forum.

Anybody can request a new forum.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Quote

I recall the woman with her grandma's clothes ended up with a collage being made for her out of the pieces of the fabrics of the clothes she loved the most. That way, she had a reminder of her grandma that she could see all the time (as it was hung on the wall) rather than chests and closets and drawers full of old-fashioned clothes that she would never wear and couldn't bear to look at.

My niece apparently kept all my mother's clothes when she passed. She was in her early 20s and I have no idea why she would be wearing outfits that made her look like Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond. 

I'm a quilter and I have made several quilts out of the clothing of deceased folks. I actually made some "memory bears" out of shirts worn by a young man who was tragically killed in an auto accident. The bears went to his mom, his fiancée and their two young children. 

 

[RobustRutabaga]

1 hour ago, ItsHelloPattiagain said:

She was in her early 20s and I have no idea why she would be wearing outfits that made her look like Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond. 

 

😁

[essexjan]

I had a bit of a hoarder experience - I helped a friend clean her messy flat yesterday. It came about when we had lunch last week and she needed to stop by her place to drop something off. I asked if I could come in and see her cats but she said no, and admitted that she'd let things go a bit and was embarrassed to let me see it (she lost her job a few months ago, she's had some mental health problems, and is also involved in a legal claim against her employers). She starts a new job next week, so I texted her at the weekend and said, hey, would you like me to come over and help you clean up, so everything is looking good to get you in the right frame of mind for your new job. I'm glad to say, she said yes.

So I went over yesterday, armed with everything we needed to get things sorted. It wasn't a 'hoarder' place by any means, but cluttered and pretty dirty. I have learned so much from watching Hoarders about how to go about these things. I was Matt, Dorothy and Robin all rolled into one.

I wouldn't allow my friend to distract us ("Are you sure you don't want a cup of tea?") or to waste time on things that wouldn't be productive - such as tidying her spare room which is really the only storage space in her flat. There are NO closets at all, she has a dresser in the living room and a wardrobe and drawers in the bedroom, and that's it! There's an attic space, where she has lots of other stuff in crates, but apart from that, even though the flat is bigger than mine in terms of the size of the rooms, it has way less storage space (I have walls of closet space, as well as built-in closets).

After she knocked her laptop off its little table onto the floor, I suggested that we put it away rather than try and work around it, and that we pick up everything from the floor.  I did the Dorothy thing of clearing all the trash first, then sorting paperwork into recycling or keep. There were far, far too many ornaments, tea-light burners and the like, with every window sill, bookshelf, TV stand full of these things, and I did my best Dr Zasio to ask if she really wanted to have six wax burners, that saki bottle and cups and those tiny wine glasses on the window sill. She said yes, she likes looking at them, so I just said OK, washed them and put them back - when inside I was really screaming "THROW THEM AWAY!" It's her stuff, and I was there to help her clean, not throw away, although it grated on me to see so much clutter (I hate ornaments).

In her bedroom there were lots and lots of new clothes, still with tags, that she's going to wear when she's lost weight (how many times have we heard that from the hoarders), none of which she was interesting in donating. So I left her to fold and put away the clothes (mostly into plastic crates which went under the bed) while I got on with the actual cleaning in the living room, bathroom and kitchen. I found five separate bags of knitting in various stages of completion. I have never, ever seen my friend knitting, or wearing anything she'd knitted herself. Many of the new garments in her bedroom were expensive knitwear. She said some of these projects were started seven or eight years ago, but she would "get round to finishing them". Again, a common hoarder theme where crafts are concerned.

There was no mouldy food or cat poop or anything like that - just lots of dust and cat hair, greasy surfaces, a bathroom that needed a good clean (sprayed everything with cleaner, opened the window, shut the door and left it for an hour), and a kitchen that needed a good scrub. The last thing was the vacuuming and mopping everywhere, and when it was all done, although it was still cluttered, everything was gleaming.

My friend was really happy, and I completely understood how overwhelming it had got for her, and that she didn't know where to start and so it was easier to not start. Depression is a horrible illness.  I'm 100% sure that watching Hoarders, etc. gave me the skills (a) to know where to start (b) to have a plan on how to get things done and (c) to understand how to keep her focussed on what needed to be done. It only took us 4 hours, working non-stop without a break,. She spent most of the time folding clothes and re-arranging pillows and stuffed animals on her bed, but that was fine, as I could get on with everything else without interruption.

As I was getting ready to leave, she said "you know, it's really satisfying to see it change from such a mess to looking so good and now I know that when it gets like this again it can be cleaned up again in an afternoon."  I said "yes, but if you do 10 minutes a day, it won't get like that again ..." 

[AZChristian]

14 minutes ago, essexjan said:

I had a bit of a hoarder experience - I helped a friend clean her messy flat yesterday. It came about when we had lunch last week and she needed to stop by her place to drop something off. I asked if I could come in and see her cats but she said no, and admitted that she'd let things go a bit and was embarrassed to let me see it (she lost her job a few months ago, she's had some mental health problems, and is also involved in a legal claim against her employers). She starts a new job next week, so I texted her at the weekend and said, hey, would you like me to come over and help you clean up, so everything is looking good to get you in the right frame of mind for your new job. I'm glad to say, she said yes.

So I went over yesterday, armed with everything we needed to get things sorted. It wasn't a 'hoarder' place by any means, but cluttered and pretty dirty. I have learned so much from watching Hoarders about how to go about these things. I was Matt, Dorothy and Robin all rolled into one.

I wouldn't allow my friend to distract us ("Are you sure you don't want a cup of tea?") or to waste time on things that wouldn't be productive - such as tidying her spare room which is really the only storage space in her flat. There are NO closets at all, she has a dresser in the living room and a wardrobe and drawers in the bedroom, and that's it! There's an attic space, where she has lots of other stuff in crates, but apart from that, even though the flat is bigger than mine in terms of the size of the rooms, it has way less storage space (I have walls of closet space, as well as built-in closets).

After she knocked her laptop off its little table onto the floor, I suggested that we put it away rather than try and work around it, and that we pick up everything from the floor.  I did the Dorothy thing of clearing all the trash first, then sorting paperwork into recycling or keep. There were far, far too many ornaments, tea-light burners and the like, with every window sill, bookshelf, TV stand full of these things, and I did my best Dr Zasio to ask if she really wanted to have six wax burners, that saki bottle and cups and those tiny wine glasses on the window sill. She said yes, she likes looking at them, so I just said OK, washed them and put them back - when inside I was really screaming "THROW THEM AWAY!" It's her stuff, and I was there to help her clean, not throw away, although it grated on me to see so much clutter (I hate ornaments).

In her bedroom there were lots and lots of new clothes, still with tags, that she's going to wear when she's lost weight (how many times have we heard that from the hoarders), none of which she was interesting in donating. So I left her to fold and put away the clothes (mostly into plastic crates which went under the bed) while I got on with the actual cleaning in the living room, bathroom and kitchen. I found five separate bags of knitting in various stages of completion. I have never, ever seen my friend knitting, or wearing anything she'd knitted herself. Many of the new garments in her bedroom were expensive knitwear. She said some of these projects were started seven or eight years ago, but she would "get round to finishing them". Again, a common hoarder theme where crafts are concerned.

There was no mouldy food or cat poop or anything like that - just lots of dust and cat hair, greasy surfaces, a bathroom that needed a good clean (sprayed everything with cleaner, opened the window, shut the door and left it for an hour), and a kitchen that needed a good scrub. The last thing was the vacuuming and mopping everywhere, and when it was all done, although it was still cluttered, everything was gleaming.

My friend was really happy, and I completely understood how overwhelming it had got for her, and that she didn't know where to start and so it was easier to not start. Depression is a horrible illness.  I'm 100% sure that watching Hoarders, etc. gave me the skills (a) to know where to start (b) to have a plan on how to get things done and (c) to understand how to keep her focussed on what needed to be done. It only took us 4 hours, working non-stop without a break,. She spent most of the time folding clothes and re-arranging pillows and stuffed animals on her bed, but that was fine, as I could get on with everything else without interruption.

As I was getting ready to leave, she said "you know, it's really satisfying to see it change from such a mess to looking so good and now I know that when it gets like this again it can be cleaned up again in an afternoon."  I said "yes, but if you do 10 minutes a day, it won't get like that again ..." 

Three cheers for you!!!!!

[sempervivum]

20 hours ago, essexjan said:

"you know, it's really satisfying to see it change from such a mess to looking so good and now I know that when it gets like this again it can be cleaned up again in an afternoon." 

Hopefully she isn't mentally adding 'by you (friend)'. Especially since she didn't try to learn by observing your method, resisted your suggestions, and spent her 'clean up time' shoving excess clothing under her bed and arranging stuffed animals. 🤨

[essexjan]

1 hour ago, sempervivum said:

Hopefully she isn't mentally adding 'by you (friend)'. Especially since she didn't try to learn by observing your method, resisted your suggestions, and spent her 'clean up time' shoving excess clothing under her bed and arranging stuffed animals. 🤨

Yes, there were definitely red flags that I've seen on Hoarders that always lead to backsliding, but this was a one-off from me, and once she's back at work and earning, if it starts to slide, I'll recommend a cleaning service to her.

[Maisiesmom]

Essexjan you are a great friend! Can you come over to my house? Not for me, but for my clutterbug hubby. If I try to get him to tidy up all it does is lead to an argument, or he brings more crap into the house.  He should know better since one of his close friends (now deceased) was a hoarder and he (my hubby) would always complain about how awful his friends house was. Plus when my sister died a while back we went to her house to help her kids clean up (we had no idea she was hoarding also) both of us were pretty shocked. We got it cleaned out pretty quick-stuff went straight to the dumpster or was bagged and donated to the local Goodwill.

[essexjan]

I'm sorry you lost your sister, Maisiesmom, and that you had to deal with her hoard. I'm sure it was a difficult thing to do.

[Maisiesmom]

Thanks Essexjan- she was always a keep to yourself type person who didn't talk much about herself. She was also very stubborn-never went to the doc unless it was to go to emergency, which is how her terminal cancer was discovered. But she loved garage sales and rummage sales and that's where all the stuff came from that we found at her place. The clean up went well-but there were 6 of us, her 2 kids and their spouses, and myself and hubby. We each tackled a room and moved the stuff on out. Different than dealing with a loving person who argues "Oh no I want to keep that" or all the other BS that they say.

[Maisiesmom]

Oops- I meant living person-darn dyslexia!

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

On 6/3/2021 at 3:40 PM, essexjan said:

I had a bit of a hoarder experience -

I'm prefacing this by saying that I'm a reformed hoarder myself. I still have some piles of too-many-things in my house, but sorry, no sail cats and no empty pizza boxes or tons of newspapers, etc. 

But I had to use my co-worker's desk for a few days while she was out of town. She had information and files saved on her computer that I was only able to access when using her desk.  So when I needed that info, I slid my chair over and. . .. I had to clean her entire desktop before doing anything. I was literally GROSSED OUT.  She had hundreds of paper clips thrown around - papers, post-its, used Q-tips under the papers, and just piles and piles of random crap. I had to clean her monitor screen because it was filthy (looked like a small child who ate yogurt with his fingers had drawn on it). I organized everything as much as possible, threw a bunch of useless stuff away, and put the rest in a desk drawer. 

When she returned, she asked "Who cleaned my desk"? I told her I did and she promptly told me that I had put all the paper clips in the wrong container because the big ones went HERE and the small ones went HERE. (I guess instead of thrown all over the desk).  I felt like I was in a Hoarders episode when the hoarder acts all ungrateful. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

There was a woman who worked at another office where I worked 20 years ago.  Whenever she went on a long vacation (she always signed up for 3 weeks at a time, to visit her adult daughter and the grandkids), she would leave, and the boss would have to use her work station computer for a certain task.   It would take a couple of days to get everything cleaned up, filed in the right file, and ready to even start on the one task she did.     Then a few days later, never more than a week, the woman came back to work, and would whine about how people ruined her filing system.   Since she always came back very early, we guessed the the daughter she visited wouldn't put up with her. 

She lived up the street from a friend of mine,.  She'd been renting the same place for at least 10 years.   When she died suddenly, the property manager went in her house with the daughter, and they were shocked.   Because it was college town, and the  woman never called about maintenance issues, they hadn't inspected her home (I understand they went to annual inspections for any place rented for more than a year after that, before they would renew the leases or go month-to-month).     She paid her bills on time, never demanded anything, so the property managers never worried about her. 

She was a hoarder, and the place was packed floor to ceiling, with all kinds of junk.    The poor daughter had to haul the junk out to see if anything was worth salvaging, I think she finally gave up, and nothing was worth saving.   The house had to be gutted, because of the massive amount of damage from water leaks, and other problems.    So in that case, hoarded out desk, equaled hoarded out home. 

Edited June 8, 2021 by CrazyInAlabama

[Claire85]

What did you all think of last night’s compilation episode? I’m always glad to see the Army come support Dale.  But Zas really needs to tone down the black eyeliner. In the talking head shots it’s really extreme to me. 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

On 6/4/2021 at 9:07 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

She'd been renting the same place for at least 10 years.   When she died suddenly, the property manager went in her house with the daughter, and they were shocked.   Because it was college town, and the  woman never called about maintenance issues, they hadn't inspected her home (I understand they went to annual inspections for any place rented for more than a year after that, before they would renew the leases or go month-to-month).      She was a hoarder, and the place was packed floor to ceiling, with all kinds of junk. 

I think my co-worker has the same problem with her apartment - she tells me she doesn't bake because her oven doesn't work (the stovetop does so she can cook). She doesn't let anybody into her apartment and has to clean for a week before anybody comes. She had a leak in the bathroom ceiling from the upstairs tenant and was visibly panicked because they had to send a plumber to her place. Like I mentioned, my house isn't the neatest but at work, my desk is pristine because I can't concentrate if it's a mess. Meanwhile, co-worker is back and her desk is blown up again - I honestly think she just dumped all kinds of junk all over because it makes her feel better. There's no way she used 500 large paperclips in a few days. 

I caught part of the vehicle show last night - It was interesting seeing Zaz sitting with an afghan on her lap.  Maybe they were trying to social distance and she was freezing. 

[essexjan]

UPDATE:  I called round to my friend today because she'd left home without her keys this morning and I have a spare set (I feed her cats when she's away) so I met her outside as she got home from work. I know this is the first week of her new job, so I'll cut her some slack, but things were starting to get messy again, particularly in the kitchen where last night's dirty dinner dishes were still on the counter (not even in the dishwasher) and in the living room where I had to move things to find a place to sit ...

[CrazyInAlabama]

Here's one hoarder's reaction to being confronted about the hoard:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/man-blew-up-his-home-with-fireworks-after-code-enforcement-confronted-him-about-hoarding-police/ar-AAKX6Ru?ocid=mailsignout&li=BBnb7Kz

Fortunately, the name wasn't familiar, but as Matt Paxton says 1 in 25 households in the U.S. are hoards of varying severity. 

[enoughcats]

Tonight's (June 14) episode revisits food hoarders with Dr. Zasio and Corey. Supposedly with followups.

[enoughcats]

The followups were minimal at best. I was surprised that I didn't remember any of the three food hoarders.  I wish those episodes had been broadcast in black and white, they were that disgusting, and the woman eating that stuff, 'nuf said.

About the middle episode: the followup talked about the hoarder being so smart that she learned a ridiculous number of languages just so she could cook from cookbooks in those languages.  What an excellent cook she was.  Which I didn't believe at all. Then they said she had died recently and I could believe that.  Corey (I think it was him) said he'd been hired by the family to clean out her house.  

The final episode about a young man who couldn't throw food detritus away because he felt that it was throwing away a part of his mother who had brought it to him, and the Father with a drinking problem who lived downstairs.  Hoarding was only one of their problems, possibly the least of their problems.

The kind of follow up that I might find satisfying just may not exist because there don't seem to be any happy endings.  

[Elizzikra]

9 minutes ago, enoughcats said:

The followups were minimal at best. I was surprised that I didn't remember any of the three food hoarders.  I wish those episodes had been broadcast in black and white, they were that disgusting, and the woman eating that stuff, 'nuf said.

About the middle episode: the followup talked about the hoarder being so smart that she learned a ridiculous number of languages just so she could cook from cookbooks in those languages.  What an excellent cook she was.  Which I didn't believe at all. Then they said she had died recently and I could believe that.  Corey (I think it was him) said he'd been hired by the family to clean out her house.  

The final episode about a young man who couldn't throw food detritus away because he felt that it was throwing away a part of his mother who had brought it to him, and the Father with a drinking problem who lived downstairs.  Hoarding was only one of their problems, possibly the least of their problems.

The kind of follow up that I might find satisfying just may not exist because there don't seem to be any happy endings.  

I remembered all of them but the only "update" I caught was that the smart lady who liked to cook had died. It sounded like she had rehoarded her house since they called Matt in to clean it. I would really like to know what happened to the other ones.

[Cherpumple]

It was nice to see Corey and Zasio gussied up in the studio rather than surrounded by garbage, but that clip episode was pointless without real follow ups. The only "follow up" to first story was the psychologist saying that the hoarder impacted the type of research he did. For the second story we learned the hoarder died a few years ago, but there was nothing about the third guy, whom I was most interested in since he was one of the youngest hoarders they've featured and had so many problems. I have so many questions about him!

I would love for them to do a proper follow up show that's not 95% recap of the original episodes.

[CrazyInAlabama]

If the young hoarder was the one who lived with a father with a drinking problem, and the son seemed seriously depressed, then I think there was a previous follow up on him.   Once they cleaned the house up, the father realized he needed help, and stopped drinking, and the son was getting help, and doing much better.      But that was a long time ago.   The young man was one of the few that actually did stay clean.     And the father was doing so much better too.    

[MetalChick]

On 5/17/2021 at 11:09 PM, Isaiah said:

I wonder if we could find out Louvina's name? I'd like to send her some money.

I was thinking the same thing!  I felt so bad for her and her children.  One thing that left me a bit perplexed was that her boyfriend allowed that situation to be her reality.