Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[CofCinci]

UBT is controlling and abusive towards women. The easiest way to control is to keep a woman pregnant.

[GreatKazu]

2 hours ago, CofCinci said:

UBT is controlling and abusive towards women. The easiest way to control is to keep a woman pregnant.

And then choke the hell out of them. 

19 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

Poor Maryssa. Now she can add wedding planner assistant as another job to add to her ever-growing list. 

She will be the maid of honor. That comes with a lot of responsibility like Farrah said. 

Edited July 10, 2017 by GreatKazu

[ReadMeLattice]

What is with Jenelle's boyfriends and the choking?! David choked his ex and it's a matter of time before he chokes Jenelle, Nathan has choked two women...do this many people have a "choking your partner" impulse or does Jenelle just have a knack for seeking out the absolute worst? 

[lovesnark]

48 minutes ago, Lm2162 said:

What is with Jenelle's boyfriends and the choking?! David choked his ex and it's a matter of time before he chokes Jenelle, Nathan has choked two women...do this many people have a "choking your partner" impulse or does Jenelle just have a knack for seeking out the absolute worst? 

We've said it before. Water seeks it's own level. Jenelle is trash and that's what she attracts. No man with any substance would give her a second look. In Jenelle's world, the only requisite for her next soulmate is to have viable sperm. A lengthy criminal record is a bonus.

[ReadMeLattice]

4 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

We've said it before. Water seeks it's own level. Jenelle is trash and that's what she attracts. No man with any substance would give her a second look. In Jenelle's world, the only requisite for her next soulmate is to have viable sperm. A lengthy criminal record is a bonus.

I think she's actually into a criminal record-- enjoys the risk and thinks it makes them a "real man." 

[lovesnark]

I think in Jenelle's warped view, if you haven't done hard time for armed robbery, manslaughter or similar crimes, a criminal record doesn't mean shit. I mean, look at hers. And, she has gotten away with a slap on the hand every...fucking....time.

[jadecorleone]

Didnt Jenelle once say something along the lines of "Being a felon isnt a crime?" I could have swore that she did.

TBH I dont think Jenelle would know what to do with a guy who doesnt have a criminal record. She's had so many BF who were on paper that she probably sees it as no big deal by this point.  

[lovesnark]

13 minutes ago, jadecorleone said:

Didnt Jenelle once say something along the lines of "Being a felon isnt a crime?" I could have swore that she did.

TBH I dont think Jenelle would know what to do with a guy who doesnt have a criminal record. She's had so many BF who were on paper that she probably sees it as no big deal by this point.  

I believe it was Keiffer who gave us that little gem.

[Mkay]

32 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

I believe it was Keiffer who gave us that little gem.

"Being a felon ain't illegal." -Keiffa (aka Keiffer) 

 

hahaha

[ghoulina]

Damn, I miss Kieffer. 

[GreatKazu]

Quote

"Being a felon ain't illegal." -Keiffa (aka Keiffer) 

When I read that it reminds me of the quote "Don't hate the player, hate the game." 

Duh! Keefuh, it was ILLEGAL activities that gave you that felon status. 

[GreatKazu]

On ‎7‎/‎8‎/‎2017 at 10:43 AM, lovesnark said:

When she started talking about their wedding in interviews, it was all about how it wouldn't happen real soon, she wanted to take time to plan it, blah, blah, blah. Now, they're getting  hitched at the swamp in 2 months. I believe we're going to hear another 'cheap condom' or some other birth control failure story when she's so far along she can't deny it any longer. I'd put money on UBT keeping her having kids until he gets a son he can actually have contact with.

GreatKazu, did you eat anything weird before you went to bed? That dream SO could have happened! You can't quit this show, though. We need you here!

Awww sweet! :) Thanks. Same with you. I can't recall what I ate, but I did have a hard time going to sleep which is rather normal for me. 

[Mkay]

The invite was made a someone on twitter.  Lol. The 2nd pic speaks for itself.  

[BitterApple]

Whoever made that invitation is my new favorite person in the world. 

[poopchute]

Why would you take a photo of your child eating a battery and then add a snapchat filter and post it online? I don't even understand.  

[GreatKazu]

6 minutes ago, poopchute said:

Why would you take a photo of your child eating a battery and then add a snapchat filter and post it online? I don't even understand.  

She ran out of wieners. She figures the battery will give him more energy before shipping him off to daycare or Nathan's. 

I would like to make one change to that invitation. Instead of "request the honor" it would be more fitting to have it read "request YOUR honor (insert some South Carolina judge's name) to preside over these nuptials which is a crime to humanity." 

[lovesnark]

1 hour ago, poopchute said:

Why would you take a photo of your child eating a battery and then add a snapchat filter and post it online? I don't even understand.  

Because it's Jenelle and she was probably really stoned. She probably thought the battery was a hotdog. Posting shit to snapchat for her leghumpers is far more important than Kaiser's safety. Gotta get them likes!

Edited July 11, 2017 by lovesnark

[GreatKazu]

Someone scan Kaiser, stat! God knows how many batteries and other objects are in his stomach. 

[Christina87]

In that first picture, she looks EXACTLY like those old pics of Babs!!!

[ghoulina]

18 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Whoever made that invitation is my new favorite person in the world. 

Right? Oh man, those need to be printed and mailed out. I would hang it on my fridge and it would brighten my life daily. 

[Mkay]

 

It's not a denial.  

[BitterApple]

Even if Jenelle flat out said no, I still wouldn't believe her. 

[ghoulina]

Right? She is a total liar face. 

[leighroda]

I was skeptical because I feel like with her you could just start saying it at any given time and eventually be right. But that response sounds like her lame attempt at being coy/clever. Like when they got caught on camera when they first found out about ensley. 

[Christina87]

I feel like if I was a guy with ANY of these four girls (and obviously bri too), I would have to literally watch them take their birth control every day, and then use a condom too. They all seem like the type ready to pull an "oopsie," out of desperation or desire for fame. 

I feel like if I was a guy with ANY of these four girls (and obviously bri too), I would have to literally watch them take their birth control every day, and then use a condom too. They all seem like the type ready to pull an "oopsie," out of desperation or desire for fame. 

[Mkay]

Apparently David posted on his Instagram a picture and him and Jenelle where he wrote the Roman numeral for 6.  The articles being written say it's a hint for baby number 6. His two kids plus end table (3) Jace, and Roll.  Another baby would make 6 or are they just trying to stir things up.  I can't get the pic from his page.  He blocked me a long time ago. Hahaha

[GreatKazu]

5 hours ago, Mkay said:

Apparently David posted on his Instagram a picture and him and Jenelle where he wrote the Roman numeral for 6.  The articles being written say it's a hint for baby number 6. His two kids plus end table (3) Jace, and Roll.  Another baby would make 6 or are they just trying to stir things up.  I can't get the pic from his page.  He blocked me a long time ago. Hahaha

One of the comments reads the V.I. stands for Virgin Islands. The photo shows them in the Virgin Islands. 

5 hours ago, leighroda said:

I was skeptical because I feel like with her you could just start saying it at any given time and eventually be right. But that response sounds like her lame attempt at being coy/clever. Like when they got caught on camera when they first found out about ensley. 

This. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Jenelle probably is pregnant again. UBT needs his son (since he can't have custody of his actual son). Kaiser is really gonna be shit out of luck as the only non-spawn-of-UBT on the land. 

Jenelle, let your vagina and uterus rest for a minute! I had two babies sixteen months apart and it wasn't the easiest thing on my body with all the hormonal changes and my pelvic floor. Pleeease stop at this baby or you'll eventually have to ask Michelle Duggar what she does to deal with the fact that she can't control her bladder. 

Also, I want to be BFF with whoever made that invitation. 

And if she's not pregnant, I'll be shocked if they make it to the September wedding. Endtable has been around for about 6-7 months, so it's surely time for Jenelle to call the police on UBT for choking her when he tries to break up with her (although I'm sure he has choked her plenty).

[lilmarysunshine]

On 7/8/2017 at 5:57 PM, leighroda said:

It might be the angle but one leg looks way bigger than the other. I have no idea if she's pregnant, I personally don't like to speculate this early (I don't mean that as condescending as it sounds I have no issue reading about it, I just really don't know).

I also think it's ridiculous for her to post the save the date online,  it's just asking for wedding crashers... in fact what am I doing that weekend... lol jk.

I had a problem with swelling and the left leg was always worse. I think that's pretty common.

[mittsigirl]

On 08/07/2017 at 11:43 AM, lovesnark said:

When she started talking about their wedding in interviews, it was all about how it wouldn't happen real soon, she wanted to take time to plan it, blah, blah, blah. Now, they're getting  hitched at the swamp in 2 months. I believe we're going to hear another 'cheap condom' or some other birth control failure story when she's so far along she can't deny it any longer. I'd put money on UBT keeping her having kids until he gets a son he can actually have contact with.

GreatKazu, did you eat anything weird before you went to bed? That dream SO could have happened! You can't quit this show, though. We need you here!

She probably ate one of those huge, 7 point quesadillas that Catelyn loves!

[monicageller]

I was in the stoner capital of Australia last week, and upon looking in the background of one of my photos... I SEEN YA WITH KEIFFAH

 

[Mkay]

Jenelle is on vacation.  Again. In New York.  

[Miss Chevious]

Of course she is. She's probably blowing off her weekend with Jace then blaming Barb.

Maybe she's saying yes to the dress. Something chic yet swampworthy don'tcha know.

[CofCinci]

1 hour ago, Mkay said:

Jenelle is on vacation.  Again. In New York.  

Must be meeting with a Gentleman from the United Kingdom in order to promote more crap. 

[monicageller]

8 minutes ago, CofCinci said:

Must be meeting with a Gentleman from the United Kingdom in order to promote more crap. 

Which can't be rescheduled, because he's coming from ANOTHER COUNTRY.

[DangerousMinds]

Getting more Xanax?

[CofCinci]

Poor Kaiser http://www.mtv.com/video-clips/lq4syx/teen-mom-2-sneak-peek-jenelle-and-david-reach-a-boiling-point

[lovesnark]

12 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

Of course she is. She's probably blowing off her weekend with Jace then blaming Barb.

Maybe she's saying yes to the dress. Something chic yet swampworthy don'tcha know.

Remember a while back I posted part of a rag mag interview with her? The writer said she'd be saying yes to the dress. Ugh! Swamp Thing Meets Kleinfeld's! Hope she knows she'll have to buy off the rack. Even super famous Jenelle can't have a designer dress whipped up in 6 weeks!

[lovesnark]

That clip is too much and sooooo typical Jenelle. First, she's predictably rough with Kaiser when she plops him in his high chair. Second, she can't pronounce realtor. Third, she's pissed and threatening to go off because it's 4:00 pm and they don't have the keys to the swamp palace. The realtor agreed to go to her office on her day off to give Jenelle the keys. At 8:00 am. Only in Jenelle's world are you expected to sit around the office on your day off waiting for her to show up. The bitch tells UBT she didn't get the keys because it's too hard to go anywhere with Kaiser. Threatens to lose it, dude, because having to spend the night in a hotel with Kaiser won't be any fun.

[DudeLeaveMeAlone]

Not defending Jenelle at all, but Chelsea posted on Snapchat about always over packing for a trip. I have a feeling with the premiere on Monday, they probably  have the girls in NYC for press stuff for the show.

[BitterApple]

Oh, the horror! Jenelle actually being expected to deal with Kaiser for a few hours all on her own?! How do these girls ever make it through the day?

[Mkay]

I'm thinking the keys Jenelle is talking about is the house they had to move into quickly while waiting for the swamp house to be delivered. Who remembers that tweet?   I'll dig around for it. 

[leighroda]

Jenelle is having an online book signing i know you are all waiting with baited breath, get your questions ready for her to ignore all the real ones!

[CaliforniaLove]

Quote

Oh, the horror! Jenelle actually being expected to deal with Kaiser for a few hours all on her own?! How do these girls ever make it through the day?

Dude! It's hard to parent when you don't have feathers in your hair. They give you superpowers...like Samson...of course in Jenelle's world, I'm referring to Samson the weed dealer from "Half Baked". 

[Uncle JUICE]

She's going to freak the fuck out because they don't have the keys, but they absolutely can stay in their current house for the night? What the shit with these people. I'm so on the fence with if I'm in on TM2, this isn't helping! It's good to see there's no trouble in paradise at least. And how on earth do you have an online book signing? It's like laziness squared: you can't be bothered to go to a store to sign books someone else wrote. 

[BitterApple]

n/m

Edited July 14, 2017 by BitterApple

[Mkay]

http://www.theashleysrealityroundup.com/2017/07/14/teen-mom-2-star-jenelle-evans-takes-a-pregnancy-test-on-facebook-live/

 

Jenelle takes a pregnancy test. 

[Maharincess]

4 hours ago, leighroda said:

Jenelle is having an online book signing i know you are all waiting with baited breath, get your questions ready for her to ignore all the real ones!

How the hell does one do an online book signing.  I hope nobody is waiting with bated breath. 

[leighroda]

56 minutes ago, Maharincess said:

How the hell does one do an online book signing.  I hope nobody is waiting with bated breath. 

I think it's becoming more common, I've only ever seen one other person do it. Hannah Hart had one when her book came out (Hannah is a YouTube documentary and has a show coming in the food network soon) for hers she did a live stream where she signed copies of the book to be sent out for the people who preordered, but throughout she would answer twitter questions, or read excerpts from the book, I'd rather in person, but I'm guessing doing it online is cheaper. 

I cant imagine what Jenelle's would be though... probably just scrolling through her phone with Dave just off camera and her yelling at the haters.

[ghoulina]

Oh my word, she thinks if the realtor says she'll be there at 8 am, it's acceptable to call to get the keys at FOUR??? And she couldn't go herself, because of Kaiser? Bitch, please. My husband and I just bought a house and we took our 3 kids to the closing and everything. Give it a rest. That poor kid probably feels like he's the biggest burden on earth.