The GCEh?C: Canadian Episodes (Spoilers for Non-Canadians)

[catalogrrr]

If Courtney isn't killed off, then I think she deserves to die for wearing that very ordinary wedding dress and extremely hideous headband.

I guess I got what I wished for. Dead Courtney in the closet, surrounded by cabinistas. Poor Noah, taking his crying lessons from Dummer, with a little whiff of Erica Kane throwing herself on Mona's grave for good measure.

Is it tacky that I quoted myself?

[miamama]

I read somewhere that she was leaving the show to be in a new comedy series...can you believe that?  Has anyone else heard anything about this or am I losing it again?

Well, if she plays a Jenna Jameson-type (you know, porn star) it might work.

 

Is it tacky that I quoted myself?

 

lol. Not at all. 

[Toomuchsoap]

I was amazed that Victor had a full ten card of fingerprints-but if you factor in Harding, then it makes some sense.  Maybe Victor had Adam's fingerprint card (next to the bronze baby shoes and first grade picture) and is getting Harding to run it against Gabe's.  Don't quite understand why that brings Jack down other than outing Jack for knowing who Gabe really is.  Jack isn't necessarily harboring a criminal* just because someone says he is Adam and he (Jack) believes it.  *Was Adam ever charged with Delia's death or just a person of interest?  Don't see enough to bring a whole damn company down with this.

 

Adam was never charged with Delia's death. Billy (and, of course, Victor) found out he was responsible and preempted any approach by law enforcement, but I believe they were very close to discovering that the fragments from the scene were from Adam's vehicle and that he'd had it repaired shortly after the H&R.

 

As to the fingerprint sheet, it's standard procedure and required by securities laws (or was when I worked there) for companies engaged in stock and securities trading, and officers of corporations whose stock is publicly traded, to have their fingerprints taken and placed on file. At one point or other, both Jabot and Newman were publicly-held corporations, so the fingerprints of the execs would have been made and would have been on file, conveniently for Turd's nefarious plotting later.

Edited April 4, 2015 by Toomuchsoap

[MollyB]

 

toomuchsoap quote

As to the fingerprint sheet, it's standard procedure and required by securities laws (or was when I worked there) for companies engaged in stock and securities trading, and officers of corporations whose stock is publicly traded, to have their fingerprints taken and placed on file. At one point or other, both Jabot and Newman were publicly-held corporations, so the fingerprints of the execs would have been made and would have been on file, conveniently for Turd's nefarious plotting later.

Thank you!  This explains why Victor had a beautifully rolled (all ten fingers) card but blows his theory of taking the fingerprints off his computer system the hacker used (no one leaves all ten complete on a keyboard).  So he ran all his employees past and present to see if they hacked him?  Then he hacked into Jabot to see their collection of fingerprints?  (And hasn't figured out that Gabe and Adam are one and the same?)  Aaannnd has a certified forensic analyst in house to compare all those prints?  No wonder he missed his grandson's wedding.

[Slowpokey]

Ah, so she will be blamed for Courtney's death (which is obviously coming). And Jack is apparently doing something unbelievable on that security footage (I'm guessing it's him since that is what they were looking for). So, great. Sharon will be unjustly charged and Jack presumably is guilty of something. Fuck off show.

Yep! Got to use the designated whipping posts.

[movinon]

BTW, where the heck is Faith? I don't recall what they said to explain that, but they really wouldn't have allowed Faith to go to HER BROTHER'S WEDDING? Don't little girls, especially Faith, love weddings?

Well, we know Sharon had her one day with her when they made cookies with Dylan. This now means the child is completely on her own for the next six days, because it Nick's turn to take care of her. It would not occur to him to bring her to the wedding - probably has dumped her on Nikki or Victoria. Perhaps she has run away again - he wouldn't have the slightest clue. Great recap, bannana.

What the heck is wrong with this reply thing. This is my fourth attempt to use this particular thread and it will not make my reply in the larger print, like it should. I am not stupid-I am not stupid-I am not stupid.....etc.

[photo fox]

Not your fault, movinon... I think the system just glitches sometimes. I think I was able to fix it for ya. :-)

[movinon]

Thank you so much, photo fox.  You guys are the very best.  Happy Bunnies.

Edited April 5, 2015 by movinon

[bannana]

Considering we are in the midst of a murder mystery, this episode was pretty boring,  but in honour of Courtney Sloane, Girl Detective...let's call this episode Girl, Interrupted.

 

Dylan is confronting Sharon about where she has been and then informs her of Courtney's murder.  When Sharon found  out about Courtney, it curled her hair, cause it is curlier today than it was on Friday.  Sharon tells Dylan that she has no alibi for Courtney's murder cause she was alone driving around in the woods looking for something that the killer threw out his car window.  Hmmm....Sharon--even Dylan is skeptical.  He questions her about the message from the mechanic and Sharon says she already had her car repaired, he must be confused.

 

At the cabin, Kevin puts the note from the killer in a zip loc baggie, after he had already handled it of course.  Noah does some pathetic crying and being sad--even he didn't buy this romance between him and Court.  The police show up.  Paul says:  When one of mine goes down, I'm there.  Somehow I thought we would get a bigger reaction from the PCPD re Courtney's untimely death. Paul sounds like he's investigating a traffic infraction.  The Scoobys finally fess up about Austin's murder to Paul.  Paul points out that Courtney could be alive now if only they had told the police.  That's probably not true but it is a good point to make, but Noah is all, yeah, my bad, can we move on!  

 

Nick and Bingo are having it out.  Bingo tells Nick to stay away from Sage. Nick says (we have heard this refrain before):  You are not the Gabe Bingham I used to know.  Nick also admitted to being an entitled little prick.  Or words to that effect, that's what it sounded like to me.  Nick gets a call from Dummer telling him that Courtney has been murdered, and, acting as if he got a call asking him to pick up milk, he says to Bingo:  I gotta go--this isn't finished, pal!

 

So Nick Newman's two adult children have both lost their spouses in the span of a few weeks.  But still, he's all about the new squeeze who he keeps hanging around with at the police station.  Which pisses off Sharon.  When she's not looking paranoid and guilty.  Sharon, rightly so, is also pissed that Sage is there with Nick, but Nick didn't bother to call Sharon and tell her.  I guess Nick also hasn't bothered to tell Pricktor and Drinki, probably cause they skipped the wedding.

 

Paul interrogates all of the Scoobys.  Who try to explain why they are so stupid, and it sounds pretty stupid when they say it.  Ben, Senior Scooby, contends that he didn't go to the police cause who would believe a guy who lied about murder.  But wait, didn't he lie in the opposite direction?  And hey, Ben, your girlfriend's nephew's fiancee was murdered, maybe you should call her and let her know that it was no biggie that she skipped the wedding, cause it got interrupted--BY MURDER.  No new details emerge, just a rehash of everything we've seen, only now it is told for Paul's benefit.

 

Nu-Kyle is definitely a new Kyle--he's got attitude.  He's like a frat boy, which I don't think old Kyle or FrankenKyle ever were.  He's quite unlikeable.  Anyways, he's throwing suspicion on Chief Paul's baby boy Dylan.  Mariah defends Sharon to Chief Paul, and assures him that Sharon is no low-life murderer, but Pricktor and Nick are totally in that category.  Noah throws shade on Chief Paul's baby boy Dylan.

 

Sage has laid it all out for Chelsea, except the Bingo is really your dead husband part.  At one point she actually grabbed Chelsea by the shoulders, trying to get her to understand that she's being conned.  Hey, I have an idea Sage.  If you are going to tell her everything up to the big reveal why not just tell her the big reveal.  You are chastising her for being too stupid to figure it out, so help her out a bit.  Then, suddenly, it looks like she is going to tell her the truth. Chelsea is interrupted by the doorbell, and she receives red roses with a card:  why would you settle for anything less?  Then, suddenly and inexplicably, Sage decides to not tell her and suggests she ask Bingo if he knew her dead husband.

 

Chelsea confronts Bingo and blah blah blah, he confesses his love for her, he's been searching for her his whole life blah blah.  Now Bingo says he researched Adam so he could be like him so that Chel would fall for him.  Seriously, Chelsea?  You can't figure this out?!  Chelsea storms out after more blah blah.

 

Dylan heads for the woods and miraculously finds the needle, er, crowbar, in a haystack--in the dark under a bush.  Then he gets a call from Chief Paul telling him to get his butt in there or he will be grounded for two weeks.  Paul should really be wondering why, when half the town knows about Austin's murder and the story associated with it, that his cops hadn't tripped over it by now.

 

My favourite part today was when the Scooby Police Chief told the Scoobys that they were free to go, cause he wants to pull a little ruse on the killer.  He doesn't want the killer to know that they know that Court's murder was linked to Austin's murder, or that he even was murdered. And he is counting on the Scoobys and their Scooby relatives and friends to all keep quiet so they can trap the killer!  HA HA HA!!!

 

More Ben and Abby anvils fell today, it won't be long now.

 

Previews:  Chief Paul tells Dylan to back off; Noah asks Sharon if she had anything to do with Courtney's murder; Ashley says to Jack, what Abbott secrets am I keeping and he answers, the one about you not being a true Abbott (WTF!? where is this coming from?)

[Foghorn Leghorn]

 

Ashley says to Jack, what Abbott secrets am I keeping and he answers, the one about you not being a true Abbott (WTF!? where is this coming from?)

 

Yes Ashley was not John's daughter, I think Dina had an affair?  

[PatsyandEddie]

Correct Foghorn. Dina Abbott had an affair with her golf or tennis pro Brent Davis. He is really Ashley's father. Only a few people know the truth. John Abbott never knew but Victor, Katherine and Jack did IIRC.

 

I think that prick Victor is behind all of this. He's trying to discredit the Abbotts by painting them as liars and making them look dishonest to the stockholders. Jack and Ashley will be blindsided with all this crap leaving the door open for him to swoop in. Bastard!

[LeftPhalange]

My favourite part today was when the Scooby Police Chief told the Scoobys that they were free to go, cause he wants to pull a little ruse on the killer.  He doesn't want the killer to know that they know that Court's murder was linked to Austin's murder, or that he even was murdered. And he is counting on the Scoobys and their Scooby relatives and friends to all keep quiet so they can trap the killer!  HA HA HA!!!

 

LMAOOOOOOOOOO. Paulie is a complete idiot. 

[bannana]

Correct Foghorn. Dina Abbott had an affair with her golf or tennis pro Brent Davis. He is really Ashley's father. Only a few people know the truth. John Abbott never knew but Victor, Katherine and Jack did IIRC.

 

I think that prick Victor is behind all of this. He's trying to discredit the Abbotts by painting them as liars and making them look dishonest to the stockholders. Jack and Ashley will be blindsided with all this crap leaving the door open for him to swoop in. Bastard!

Yes, I recall that too, that Ashley is not a bio-Abbott.  Seems like a weird thing to describe as an "Abbott secret"!  OMG, Ashley is a bastard!  This is such an old old story and I cannot even understand why anyone would care about this.  I think it was only important when John was alive, they didn't want to break his heart.

[Artsda]

Sage running into the Police Station all teary and distraught ready to comfort Nick and be there for him, was WTF. She's like a stalker, makes me think she's the killer to protect Nick.  How long has they've known each other yet she wants to appear to comfort and be there for Nick at every personal family moment like custody hearings and now Courtney's death. Has she and Noah ever even spoke? Yet Sage appeared more sad than the scooby gang.

 

She's so out of place in a family moment. Sharon was right to call her out on her jumping at any opportunity. 

[Capricasix]

I know, right? Not to mention, when she came rushing in, she was all, "Oh, I just heard the news" - well, how did she hear about it? Did she get an e-mail alert, text message, smoke signal? And if she could hear about it, why TF do Nikki and Victor seem to have no clue? AAAAAGH

[Toomuchsoap]

I think that prick Victor is behind all of this. He's trying to discredit the Abbotts by painting them as liars and making them look dishonest to the stockholders. Jack and Ashley will be blindsided with all this crap leaving the door open for him to swoop in. Bastard!

 

 

You're no doubt right (and especially about Turd being a bastard), but at this point, who the hell would care whether Ashley was or wasn't John's biological daughter. It's one thing to delve back into history from the show in order to establish a sense of knowledge about its history and as a sort tip of the hat to Y&Rs former golden past, but this is such a piece of trivial information that it's stunning to me. In the great scheme of things, why is that important? Is it because poor John wasn't in on "the secret"? Why would anyone believe that if John were still alive today - or even if he found out just before he kicked it - he'd care after all this time raising the girl? Does one clump of genetic material erase all the years spent, memories formed and all the love and affection the two shared throughout John's life? This is the 'daughter' John called "My Beauty" her entire life. He loved Ashley and she loved him. That love was about as unconditional as it gets. There was precious little conflict between the two and, while she had issues, they rarely if ever centered around something John did or was doing. I would think Turd dredging up something like this would only (further) diminish any esteem anyone has ever viewed Turd in at any point throughout his stranglehold world domination tour. Why would it make the Abbotts look bad? It actually seems to bolster Jack's stock so to speak, in that he kept this secret from his father because he didn't want to possibly damage his relationship with Ashley - as if that would have happened.

 

SMDH. This storyline is stupid and unspeakably weak. Certainly not up to Turd's more Machiavellian standards. Pratt needs to pull a clue out his ass but quick.

Edited April 7, 2015 by Toomuchsoap

[PatsyandEddie]

No one should care TMS but on this show, all bets are off. The stock will drop because of "lies". 

 

It could potentially cause problems between Abby and Ashley as it means Abby was lied to her entire life but mostly that she is NOT an Abbott either.

[Artsda]

I know, right? Not to mention, when she came rushing in, she was all, "Oh, I just heard the news" - well, how did she hear about it? Did she get an e-mail alert, text message, smoke signal? And if she could hear about it, why TF do Nikki and Victor seem to have no clue? AAAAAGH

 

And Paul's all like "it's a secret" nobody knows, then how does Sage get 411 so instantly to come rushing over before even family.

[movinon]

Bannana - I just wanted to say thank you for doing these Canadian recaps.  I was totally out of the loop yesterday until very late, and just reread your recap.  It help so much to know what to anticipate and I love not having to go to you know where to read the recap.  You are appreciated.  

I think that prick Victor is behind all of this. He's trying to discredit the Abbotts by painting them as liars and making them look dishonest to the stockholders. Jack and Ashley will be blindsided with all this crap leaving the door open for him to swoop in. Bastard!

This is pure Victor - yet as much as I hate him, I find it hard to believe he would do that to Ashley.  Then - logic returns, and I remember that he took her HEX sample and the research material, and I realize nothing is beneath  him.  I'm not understanding all this - imagine that!

Edited April 7, 2015 by movinon

[pearlite]

I know, right? Not to mention, when she came rushing in, she was all, "Oh, I just heard the news" - well, how did she hear about it? Did she get an e-mail alert, text message, smoke signal? And if she could hear about it, why TF do Nikki and Victor seem to have no clue? AAAAAGH

She got a Bananagram! Or she must have, and Nick's, shall we say, attentions, must endow his partners with special sensitivities, based on certain chemicals in bananas, or dicks, or whatever. This is, as Ninja Penguin has noted, an alternative universe. It hit me, too--I actually looked up from my wine.

 

Mind you, after looking at those pictures of NuKyle and that checked jacket, I kept thinking Peewee's Playhouse, which would pretty much work as one alternative universe.

 

And, is it my imagination, or is this a rhetorical question: is the dialogue getting worse? Case in point: "When one of ours goes down..." Oh, dear God.

Edited April 7, 2015 by pearlite

[Thumper82003]

And Paul's all like "it's a secret" nobody knows, then how does Sage get 411 so instantly to come rushing over before even family.

I'd love for them to pin all this on either Sage or Joe. Or both, then we can get rid of 2 of my least favorites....

They keep blaming Sharon and other scapegoats. But the killer has to have better computer skills than Kevin. That's not Sharon or Dylan or Stitch. Weird how Fen just disappeared after spiking the punch.

It may be Joe since he blew off Austen after A. did that work for him, telling him he didn't need it, stiffing him on payment. There's a possible motive. We don't know enough about Sage's skills or abilities.

I doubt it is one of the Newmans, although Victor may have hired someone who "went too far" especially since V is never responsible for anything.

[NinjaPenguins]

 

She got a Bananagram!

*Shudders* There's a piece of mail (male?) you never want in your inbox.

[Capricasix]

She got a Bananagram!

.

[miamama]

After today's Canadian it's clear to me DoppelJack is coming. The desk they showed with the fingerprints (what was that? Someone is creating "fake" fingerprints? Is this even possible?) Anyways, it was the desk of someone with power -- a businessman perhaps. I don't know who doppelJack is but this wasn't Harding's or some cop's desk.

 

Also, Jack's declaration that he'd protect Ashley makes me think (as I said in the main thread) for sure now that he (i.e. doppelJack) will be the one to stab her in the back. It's the only way this secret has any power. If Victor tells the world the Abbott matriarch had an affair 50+ years ago and hid her daughter's paternity, as you all say above, so the fuck what? But if Jack gets dirty and says "I know I said you could be co-CEO if Hex was a success, but you're not an Abbott, so suck it." And then the hate on Jack begins. Ashley will go work for Victor like he declared she would. Hex will go with her. Jaggabbott's downfall begins. And then whatever is planned with Kelly and these fingerprints will come into play.

 

And Jack is going to lose his mind because he will not remember these conversations and/or events. (There will be more no doubt.)

 

I just hope this torture of Jack is fast. It's going to hurt.

 

[bannana]

Thank you Capricasix for the Bananagram!  And thank you movinon for the kind words and thanks.  This is a good time to note that I will be away on a biz trip next week and will not see any Y&R whatsoever, and of course will not be doing any recaps.  But hopefully I can get back to it the following week.

 

You guys have all been remarking on how Sage could have known about dead Court so quickly.  Well today we find out that it HAS NOT BEEN ON THE NEWS.  No one knows.  In fact, Pricktor and Victoria are yukking it up at the GCAC (what on earth would they have to laugh about?  Pricktor's evil plans? His mental and emotional abuse of Drinki and Sharon? That he cost her custody of her child and may indeed have caused her miscarriage?) when serious Abby (her new perma-face) and Sr Scooby Ben see them, and Abby says, I have to tell them.  NO SHIT!  So they mosey on over and break the news.  Of course Pricktor and Vic didn't even know there was a wedding and I don't think Abby even mentioned that.  Vicky was all, hey, did you pick up those dead sis ashes yet?  What a weird twisted family--their nephew/grandson/brother gets married and no one seems to know about it, and then his fiancee is murdered and everyone is pretty chillaxy about it, except of course serious Abby.  MO has perfected this strange serio-face and I think we will be seeing for some time to come.

 

So they did go there.  The BIG SEKRIT of Ashley's paternity is what Jack figures Pricktor is going to use against them.  See Toomuchsoap's excellent post above explains why this is a ridiculous plotline but it appears to be the direction they are headed.  Because fully grown serious Abby will be devastated to hear GhostJohn is not her grandpa and and she is not an Abbott and SHE MAY SWITCH SIDES.  OH NO!  Ashley refused to believe that Pricktor would do such a thing to her hurt her and said he respected her too much and would never.....uh, yeah, Ash, you may want to rethink that.  Even Jack pointed out that he had hurt her to pull a fast one on her for biz reasons (I am not entirely sure what he is talking about there, maybe the recent ousting of her?).  Ashely has a flashback to her and Pricktor to like 30 years ago when she is talking about finding out that John is not her father.

 

Noah is upset of course that Court is dead, but he is more upset cause he is thinking Sharon did it.  Lots of accusations, tears, etc., Nick is there, and then Noah tells Nick about Sharon's interview with Austin.  And that doesn't go so well.  Again, Nick, if I were you, I would be a bit worried that someone is killing my children in law, but don't worry, I am sure that Faith is fine with that sitter and all the security you have on the ranch.

 

Kevin doesn't get fired because Chief Paul cannot hire computer experts because he is keeping this whole murder thing on the down low.  So Kevin is all he's got to figure out how Sharon, in her Parisienne frock and ugly black leather gloves, destroyed everything on the PCPD's system.  That Sharon, she's a whiz (hey, Phyllis has some computer skills as a web designer...hmmm).

 

So to the mystery fingerprints (or fingermarks as Murdoch calls them--this is the Canadian site, so that is for you guys) come into play today, and Pricktor is talking to the MYSTERY PERSON (Fen? Harding? Keemo? the real Kyle?) and is happy that things are going as planned and we cut to a shot of a desk with one of those gravity things where the balls swing back and forth and clack clack clack (a clue?) and we see all ten fingerprints laid out.  I didn't quite get that and I was distracted so I may have missed something.

 

Victoria tells Ben that she feels so out of touch with him, now that he is with Abby etc.  Wait a minute, didn't she see him or talk to him earlier in the day when he was talking about going to get his sis-ashes?  She makes it sound like they have been apart for weeks.  And she is seriously blase about dead Court.  Honestly, this is like Noah lives in an alternate universe and only he knew she existed.

 

Oh, and remember how Chief Paul wanted the Scoobys to keep Austin's murder a secret?  Today Noah told Nick, who will surely tell Sage.  And I think Avery knows too.

 

Dylan gives Avery the crowbar from the woods, and he wants her to test it for blood and other evidence, secretly. She agrees but only after they argue about it.

 

Phyllis hears from Dummer about Court and she tells Jack and Ash, and Ash runs off to be with Abby.  Phyllis says they should postpone their wedding.  Serio Abby tells Ashley that she is relieved she has the Abbott family to rely on (oopsie!).  Ben walks in and explains that Abby was talking to the police cause she found the body.

 

 

Dylan tells Paul that he was with Sharon during both murders.

 

That's all for now, I missed a bit where Kevin found something on the copshop computers that makes him suspect Pricktor.  Will try to watch that bit later.

[peacheslatour]

 

(or fingermarks as Murdoch calls them--this is the Canadian site, so that is for you guys)

I'm not in Canada, but thanks for that, I love that show!

[Capricasix]

I did like the bit when Dylan handed Avery his whole wallet - that was kinda funny.

I'm not a fan of how he's inserted into practically every story, but I don't hate him.

So, I wonder if Sage is involved in the cabin murders somehow. If Courtney's death hasn't even been publicized yet, like I wondered earlier - how could Sage have known about it? Except she was at the Underground with Nick when Austin was killed, so that doesn't really work...

[movinon]

Thanks for that great recap, bannana.  Have a good trip - we will miss you and your fantastic recaps.

[Artsda]

When Noah asked Sharon if she had anything to do with Courtney's death. She should have said "Yes, Noah. I kidnapped a police officer right out of the GCPD, and created and installed a computer virus to erase all the evidence. Then I killed the police officer and drove her up to the cabin and put her in the armoir where I also picked up by myself and put a 160 lb dead man." 

 

Because those attacking Sharon have no idea how stupid and moronic they sound. Sharon should have thrown Noah out of her house. Plus this secret that she's "killing" everyone over, 25% of the town already knows this secret, so I don't think Nick's secret is even the murder reason. May be there's more on the laptop.

[bannana]

So the bit at the end--Billy goes to Kevin for help with his hacking of Jabot problem and Kevin talks about Pricktor and somehow they think they have a common enemy.  Not quite sure.  I had trouble staying focused because I had to remind myself that old man Billy is actually Kevin's pal.  He looked more like his dad.

 

Pricktor doesn't want the Newman family to be dragged through the mud while Chief Paul tries to solve Pricktor's almost Daughter-in-law's murder.  He accuses Paul of planning to do so as revenge for Drinki mowing down Christine.  Pricktor and Nick talking right after this cannot even pretend to act like they care about dead Courtney, let alone even know her or remember her.

 

Dylan tells Sharon that she is the only witness to the killer disposing the weapon, and then we cut to POV of someone peeping into Sharon's living room window.

 

Jack tells Phyllis he is going somewhere (I missed where or why) and says this means Pricktor won't make a move.  But I am really thinking that miamama's theory on the the whole Jack/Pricktor plot is going to happen.

 

Previews:  DVR cut most of it off, all I got was Not-Kyle saying to Jack, it's my life my decision, what's the big rush, and Jack saying, our company is being threatened.

[movinon]

 

Dylan tells Sharon that she is the only witness to the killer disposing the weapon, and then we cut to POV of someone peeping into Sharon's living room window.

There's that fantastic Newman security system at work again.  No worries - probably just the security force checking to see  that Sharon is ok.  We know Victor and Nick want her to be safe. 

[Artsda]

Noah's fiancee is murdered so Nick spends the following day sexing up Sage? 

 

Avery's getting an award for what? 

 

I guess Connor's being sick again is going to reveal Adam because he'll need blood or something that would only match Adam.

[Capricasix]

Yup, and Summer's best friend is dead and she's so distraught that she decided to attend a fancy-dress party to take her mind off things. DERP

[peacheslatour]

Yup, and Summer's best friend is dead and she's so distraught that she decided to attend a fancy-dress party to take her mind off things. DERP

Lol, I think you avatar says it best!

[PatsyandEddie]

Yup, and Summer's best friend is dead and she's so distraught that she decided to attend a fancy-dress party to take her mind off things. DERP

 

With shit eating Kyle the garden gnome no less. What a little jerk he is this time around. I think he's been deSORASED as well. 

[Slowpokey]

Thanks Bannana for all the awesome recaps. We will surely miss you next week. Have a safe trip! (;

[miamama]

Oh my god Kyle on today's Canadian. That fucking garden gnome is a compete disaster. The actor is terrible. He can't move his arms (well, that's not his fault; he is a garden gnome -- though MY garden gnome -- see avatar -- can raise his arms). But his smarmy obnoxious attitude towards Jack? Where The Fuck did this shit come from? Jack's "expectations" of him. He's a spoiled shit who goes skiing in Europe and lives in Manhattan. Jack has never expected a damn thing from him. God almighty this writing. He couldn't listen to his father discuss the family business being under threat because he has to hurry back to Summer? Jesus. He hasn't left that twit's side since coming to GC. It's INSANE. 

 

The writing is off the wall shit. But the acting is - with the young crew -- equally bad. This kid can't do an ounce of nuance. He was reacting to Jack with venom. But he's all "Hiya Nick" -- the asshole who lied to my FATHER about being someone's father for EIGHTEEN YEARS and only fessed up because I was close to banging the "daughter."

 

I cannot fucking BELIEVE how bad this show is. And they are clearly pushing this Kyle-Summer thing as a kind of IT couple. It's REVOLTING. She got all gussied up before her bestie is buried and he tells her how AWESOME she is and they give each other sweet glances. FFS. Her HUSBAND was just murdered and she just found out Kyle isn't her BROTHER but the show is pushing some sweet teen romance???

 

I can't any more, you guys. I'm really reaching the limit of my capacity to swallow this shit. 

Edited April 9, 2015 by miamama

[Suby]

lol LOVE your new avy miamama - I noticed it in another thread.

 

I am nearing my limit as well.  My fine fellow posters are the only thing keeping me coming back here.

[miamama]

lol LOVE your new avy miamama - I noticed it in another thread.

 

Thanks, Subes. It is my first avatar :)

[Suby]

Thanks, Subes. It is my first avatar :)

Be gentle with it. 

On second thought, since it's Kyle's twin....

[bannana]

YAY, Leslie sighting again!  Of course Pricktor is not happy that she is interviewing Drinki for Neil's defence.  Drinki to Pricktor:  I DON'T WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!  Really, Drinki?  How many times are you going to say that?  And what exactly are you getting out of this relationship?  There's not even free vodka anymore.  Drinki looked pretty good today though.  Back to Pricktor, he calls Drinki gullible, and says that Leslie's tactic is throw her under the bus to save Neil.  Drinki tells him to back off.  Pricktor says he doesn't want to fight anymore.  Drinki says they have to go to the charity event, and says, THE ABBOTTS WILL BE THERE IN FULL FORCE.  Since when does Drinki talk like that about the Abbotts. 

 

I am sure Courtney was Dummer's best friend, but I don't think they have been particularly friendly for quite some time.  I am not sure Courtney existed at all, the way everyone is acting.

Here's some boring stuff, Chelsea is back at the penthouse telling Anita about Bingo and his feelings for her.  And she tells Anita that she had put off marrying Billy and in mid-telling her decides she has changed her mind and wants to marry Billy pronto.

 

The two worst cons in the world, Bingo and Sage, are having a full on fight at GCAC when Mr. Tipton shows up, and then Sage informs him she has her own place (which is actually a room at the GCAC!) and she is filing for divorce.  Sage says she is DONE WITH THIS TWISTED ARRANGEMENT!  She tells Tipton the marriage is a sham and she wants out.  So I guess she really does love him?  This makes no sense.  Why did she go to all this trouble to make Adam Bingo, if she is going to blow it now?  Adam and Sage continue to have it out and she is really BSC now.  She is playing a long shot if she thinks she is going to be Mrs. Nick Newman.  Without Adam as Bingo, I am not sure what income she has.  Sage then sees Nick and tells him the big news, she is footloose and fancy-free.  Bingo goes to see Chelsea and runs into Anita.  They chat about Chelsea, and Bingo tells Anita that Billy is hung up on Victoria, and Chelsea is still in love with Adam.  Bingo says he can offer Chels everything Adam gave her, without the gothic gloom, guilt, lies, burning of dead children's clothes in the fireplace, and videotaped confessions.  Chelsea walks in and tells Bingo to stay away from her.  Then she breaks down and tells him she got bad news from the doctor about Connor.

Not-Kyle is a pathetic little puke.  How does a grown man who was somewhat normal become a spoiled brat?  At least with Devon, he was never normal and always a spoiled whiny brat.  But Kyle was a good guy at one time.  Speaking of Devon, once again I have to highlight that if it was this easy for Hilary to blow off their relationship and treat him like dirt, why didn't she just do that before bedding him for months and months?  So Devon makes a heartfelt appeal to the prosecutor, who is not swayed.  Hilary, as Ann, then calls the prosecutor--Winston--to suggest they move their date to her suite.  In the room, he badmouths Hilary when talking to Ann.  Not sure what her endgame is, unless she wants him to get caught sleeping with a witness.  The screw, and then he takes a call from Leslie, who wants to do a deal for Neil.  Hilary has a cheshire smile.  Drinki talks to Neil, and is encouraging him to get help.

 

 

So Kyle is telling Dummer how Jack is all over him, about his career and where he wants him to be tonight--talk about micro-managing.  I am going to pretend that Kyle just said that as a way to get sympathy from Dummer, because otherwise he is even stupider than he was in the above paragraph.  So it works and she agrees to go to charity event with him.  Even though her best friend is still in the morgue.  Summer and Kyle get all gussed up for the big event.  

Anyhow the writing is ridiculous, with Jack worrying that Kyle is going to be a loser like Billy was.  Later Jack says he wants to groom Kyle to replace him at Jabot (old Kyle would have been all over this).  And he wants to travel, and Billy and Ashley can cover with him (or doppelganger Jack for that matter).  Jack and Phyllis are leaving tonight right after the benefit--to the islands, to get married.  Pricktor is talking to MYSTERY WHOMEVER on the phone and says: the Abbotts are closing ranks behind their family hierarchy, they always do that when they are under threat, alright?  I am going to blow that hierarchy to smithereens, and change the order of it, and you and I will be at the top.

 

So my new theory was that Sage, along with Constance, is pretending to be Pricktor's partner, but they are really going to screw him over.  For revenge.  That would explain why Sage has been completely nonchalant about the con with Bingo from the beginning.  If Constance was alive, and she knew it was not really Gabe, then the two of them could be conspiring against Adam and Pricktor.  Not sure how that links to the dead Newman children-in-law.

 

However, we went straight from Pricktor talking to the MYSTERY PERSON to Sage and Nick having monkey toe sex.  So that doesn't work.  Argh.

 

Previews:  Sharon to Paul:  Am I a suspect?  Jack to Drinki:  What is your husband up to this time? Joe, to the audience, introducing Avery, and presenting her with the first ever Better Days award, and in the audience are Ashley, Jack and Phyllis, Lauren and Michael, and two extras.

[LeftPhalange]

Pricktor is talking to MYSTERY WHOMEVER on the phone and says: the Abbotts are closing ranks behind their family hierarchy, they always do that when they are under threat, alright?  I am going to blow that hierarchy to smithereens, and change the order of it, and you and I will be at the top.

 

Who talks like this? What is this?

[miamama]

Who talks like this? What is this?

I know. WTF right? It's like EB was given a script from another show. "Closing ranks?" Huh? Jack runs Jabot (in theory since he's rarely there). The rest of them flit in and out every few years (or months). So, what hierarchy?

[valleycliffe]

Pricktor is talking to MYSTERY WHOMEVER on the phone and says: the Abbotts are closing ranks behind their family hierarchy, they always do that when they are under threat, alright?  I am going to blow that hierarchy to smithereens, and change the order of it, and you and I will be at the top.

Who talks like this? What is this?

LOL  Edward G. Robinson did.

so did james cagney, and believe me, they did it MUCH better.

[NinjaPenguins]

So Hilary slept with Winston Mobley, ace prosecutor? As a female, I find this turn of events quite classy and appealing.

Kyle, someone needs to superglue your ceramic buttcheeks shut so you can't fart out any more of your insufferable insolence. You better slow your roll, because Jack can replace you with a quick trip to the Wal-Mart home & garden section. I strongly suggest you hop on that job posthaste, because Summer's work as a barstool warmer at Nick's dive won't pay your inbred children's medical bills.

I knew it. I just knew Victor wanted to be on top of Jack.

Thank goodness we're getting the sick child/paternity reveal trope featuring Chelsea, Gabe, and Connor! I was worried that Pratt might miss that one on his list of clunky cliches we can see coming from a mile away. Chelsea is stupid for not getting a restraining order against this prick within five minutes of his stalking confession. At least taser him, dumdum.

Ha ha ha. Sage gave up a very likely payout for a chance at the golden banana! I can just see her nose wrinkling up as she discovers the brown, mushy, rotten fruit beneath the shiny peel. Warning: new girlfriends are required to pick lice out of all Nick's hair. ALL of it.

[Slowpokey]

Who talks like this? What is this?

Pratt's delusional writing! Visions of grandeur! lol

[spinxella]

Kyle is a rude little shit. Jack should backhand that fucking twerp. He always rolls his eyes when Jack dares to speak to him. Like this is a burden. Can someone kill him, please.

Edited April 9, 2015 by spinxella

[PatsyandEddie]

Sage has been Dickmatized hence the pissy attitude.

[Capricasix]

What TF did I just watch?

[movinon]

Kyle is a rude little shit. Jack should backhand that fucking twerp. He always rolls his eyes when Jack dares to speak to him. Like this is a burden. Can someone kill him, please.

My disappointment with the actor is painful - I though he was going to be perfect for the role of Jack's son.  At this point, I am so disgusted, I wish they'd bring back that guy with the chin.  I will admit the storyline and the writing is pure shit, but the guy is coming off an completely unlikable.  Hell - if Pratt keeps writing the entire show for Victor and Summer, there may be no Abbotts at all.

Sage has been Dickmatized hence the pissy attitude.

Did you just invent a new word, Patsy?  Maybe I just haven't heard it before but I love it, and Sage is pissy, for sure.