Steel Magnolias (1989)

[Athena]

Film adaptation of Robert Harling's 1987 play of the same name. Directed by Herbert Ross.

[topanga]

One of my all-tIme favorites. Sally Field and Dolly Parton gave the best performances, IMO. 

[topanga]

ON 3/26/2018 AT 2:18 PM, UYI SAID:

Quote

See, I take that as her giving her up on the adoption process early on, rationalizing that her health would disqualify them from being able to adopt a child (even if she's not sure that's true or not), using it as a convenient excuse so that she could do things "the right way" and have a biological child...consequences be damned.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I could see her doing that. 

I took it to mean that with whatever problems  she and Jackson already had, ‘giving’ him his own baby could fix them. Many people don’t think they’d feel as attached to adopted child, which is crazy IMO. 

[Blergh]

OK, this may sound harsh but, if having a baby would have risked her life and adoption agencies were leery of giving babies to a couple with at least one parent with a potential for a brief lifespan, it may have been best for everyone had they just gotten a puppy (and too bad no one in the movie attempted to suggest it).

[ChelseaNH]

Some people feel incomplete if they aren't able to procreate.  I don't know if Shelby was one of them; the issue was presented more along the lines of "Jackson wants some fruit of his loins and Shelby is desperate to accommodate him."  Although Shelby did say "I want a child of my own" in a way that indicated she wanted to be "normal."

[Dee]

"M’Lynn you just missed a chance of a lifetime. Half of Chinquapin Parish would give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!"

[Bastet]

Despite finding Shelby a selfish twit, I love this movie.  One of my favorite little moments is at the house after Shelby's funeral, when Ouiser pauses to lightly touch Drum on his back before walking on behind him.  That (and his smile in response) is the perfect gesture between two people who spend a good amount of their time antagonizing each other.

Edited March 31, 2018 by Bastet

[wallflower75]

On 3/30/2018 at 10:53 PM, Bastet said:

Despite finding Shelby a selfish twit, I love this movie.  One of my favorite little moments is at the house after Shelby's funeral, when Ouiser pauses to lightly touch Drum on his back before walking on behind him.  That (and his smile in response) is the perfect gesture between two people who spend a good amount of their time antagonizing each other.

Of the men in this movie, Drum's my favorite.  I love his interactions with Ouiser, and this moment just highlights how even though they spend most of the movie egging each other on, underneath it all they care.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

On 3/30/2018 at 4:32 PM, Dee said:

"M’Lynn you just missed a chance of a lifetime. Half of Chinquapin Parish would give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!"

The first time I watched this movie was with my mother, and both of us were in tears when M'Lynn started losing it. Right up until the moment Clairee shoved Ouiser in front of her, forcefully offering her for a smack. "You are a pig from hell!"

[UYI]

On 3/30/2018 at 4:32 PM, Dee said:

"M’Lynn you just missed a chance of a lifetime. Half of Chinquapin Parish would give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!"

"You are too twisted for color TV!"

"Oh Ouiser, you know I love you more than my LUGGAGE."

Also, this has to be said:

Annelle was lucky M'Lynn didn't kill her when she said they "should all be rejoicing" because Shelby was now "with her King". Too soon, much? M'Lynn should have beat her ass for saying that at her daughter's FUNERAL. 

Fun fact: Daryl Hannah almost wasn't cast because she was deemed too attractive to play Annelle. And then, when she showed up dressed up as Annelle, she initially wasn't allowed on the set because no one recognized her! 

Edited April 3, 2018 by UYI

[Shannon L.]

7 hours ago, UYI said:

Annelle was lucky M'Lynn didn't kill her when she said they "should all be rejoicing" because Shelby was now "with her King". Too soon, much? M'Lynn should have beat her ass for saying that at her daughter's FUNERAL. 

Fun fact: Daryl Hannah almost wasn't cast because she was deemed too attractive to play Annelle. And then, when she showed up dressed up as Annelle, she initially wasn't allowed on the set because no one recognized her! 

What Annelle followed it up with was much more appropriate, but it was still way too soon.

I remember a Paula Poundstone routine where she was saying that she couldn't believe how popular Daryl Hannah was because she didn't think she could act.  Someone shouted from the audience that she was pretty.  Paul responded:  "Yes, she is...she's beautiful, but can't they just have a small picture of her in the bottom corner of the screen?"  hee!

And one two of my favorite quotes:  "The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize!" and "It is hard to keep whites clean" (that one is all about the delivery).

Edited April 3, 2018 by Shannon L.

[scarynikki12]

My theory on M’lynn not punching Annelle in the face is because she knows Annelle is a total dumbass and she just couldn’t bring herself to go further than her angry response. 

I can go on and on about Annelle’s idiocy but I’ll restrain myself like M’lynn. 

[Sandman]

I take great hope in the fact that, near the end of the movie, Annelle discovers the beginnings of a sense of humour. I loved the way Hannah handles Annelle's "Not on yer first visit! rejoinder. Of course, Miss Clairee's sly approval is also one of my favourite lines ("Very good Annelle! Spoken like a true smartass.")

I imagine Olympia Dukakis was born knowing how to deliver a withering line.

On 4/3/2018 at 10:57 AM, UYI said:

Annelle was lucky M'Lynn didn't kill her when she said they "should all be rejoicing" because Shelby was now "with her King". Too soon, much?

I think M'Lynn recognized that Annelle was trying to say something comforting, but she was struggling herself in a way that surprised, or maybe even terrified her. Hannah's not my favourite actress, but I think she found something in the line to suggest that Annelle's faith was shaken, and while she knew intellectually the thought of heaven should be comforting, she wasn't feeling much like rejoicing.

[Constant Viewer]

On 3/30/2018 at 11:00 AM, ChelseaNH said:

Some people feel incomplete if they aren't able to procreate.  I don't know if Shelby was one of them; the issue was presented more along the lines of "Jackson wants some fruit of his loins and Shelby is desperate to accommodate him."  Although Shelby did say "I want a child of my own" in a way that indicated she wanted to be "normal."

I always felt it was more Shelby that wanted a child of her own than Jackson. At the beauty parlor she indicates she felt Jackson would be throwing away his chance to be a father if he married her and he had told her not to be stupid because they could adopt kids.

[Shannon L.]

The thing that bothered me the most about the pregnancy, after the whole issue with her health, was when she said "I think it would help". They never pursued that after M'Lynn's "I see" comment, but it sure sounded like there were problems and she thought a baby would help. Which is really not a great idea. 

[Bastet]

Real life "Jackson" was such a douche, it's a real credit to Robert Harling that he only gave those couple of hints -- that he was over the moon to have knocked her up, despite the risk pregnancy and childbirth posed to her, and that line indicating this baby was Shelby's attempt to hang onto him.  Maybe he didn't want to make his sister look like a desperate fool for marrying him, maybe he didn't want to insult his nephew's father, maybe it was just part of his philosophy that the women, not the men, were the point of the story (the men aren't even in the play - they're referred to, but not seen - but heaven forbid Hollywood make a film without them, so when he adapted the play, he had to add them), but he mostly just let that all go.

(The reason he wrote the play in the first place was "Jackson" was remarried in a hot minute, and the kid was calling his stepmom "Mommy" - Harling hated the idea his sister was being forgotten, and wanted to capture her for posterity.  In writing her story, he realized what a beautiful story there was in how this group of women were with each other, in good times and bad.)

[Constant Viewer]

23 hours ago, Bastet said:

(the men aren't even in the play - they're referred to, but not seen - but heaven forbid Hollywood make a film without them, so when he adapted the play, he had to add them), but he mostly just let that all go.

I wish they could have kept it that way. I can only think of one film, The Women, where there are no men on screen. 

Edited July 19, 2018 by Constant Viewer

[Cobalt Stargazer]

22 hours ago, Bastet said:

 (the men aren't even in the play - they're referred to, but not seen - but heaven forbid Hollywood make a film without them, so when he adapted the play, he had to add them), but he mostly just let that all go.

Considering that the main focus of discussion about the film is how much of a selfish idiot Shelby was for insisting that she just had to have a kid, I don't think the presence or lack of presence of men affected things one way or the other. It's never the guys everyone's talking about, with the possible exception of Jackson, it's Shelby's fatal determination to conceive.

[Bastet]

6 minutes ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Considering that the main focus of discussion about the film is how much of a selfish idiot Shelby was for insisting that she just had to have a kid, I don't think the presence or lack of presence of men affected things one way or the other. It's never the guys everyone's talking about, with the possible exception of Jackson, it's Shelby's fatal determination to conceive.

Okay.  In the post you quoted, I was talking about the various reasons Harling may have had for opting not to get into the ways in which "Jackson" was an asshole, with the fact he preferred to focus on the women and not dig too deep into the men in general (in the play, and even in the film, when he was instructed by the studio to develop them further) being but one of those possibilities.

[UYI]

On 7/17/2018 at 8:20 PM, Shannon L. said:

The thing that bothered me the most about the pregnancy, after the whole issue with her health, was when she said "I think it would help". They never pursued that after M'Lynn's "I see" comment, but it sure sounded like there were problems and she thought a baby would help. Which is really not a great idea. 

Well, considering that Nancy Beth was bold enough to say that Shelby at her wedding reception that Jackson was "one big hangin' man", it's pretty clear there was a LOT that Shelby was trying to overlook.

Then again, I love when Shelby just smiles and says "Yes, I know" and saunters off. (Actually, no, I'm wrong--Nancy Beth's mother shuttles her away. Still, Shelby got her point across.)

Edited July 19, 2018 by UYI

[UYI]

13 hours ago, Constant Viewer said:

I wish they could have kept it that way. I can only think of one film, The Women, where there are no men on screen. 

This is probably more appropriate for the Gender in Movies thread, but I'm curious just how many women-only movies there have been in Hollywood. It's probably a very small number, but there HAS to be more out there. 

[VCRTracking]

I like this story how the older actresses helped Julia Roberts on the movie when director Herbert Ross constantly giving her a hard time.

Julia Roberts Was Tortured by Steel Magnolias Director, Says Sally Field

I first heard about what a taskmaster  Ross was from a Maggie Smith 60 Minutes interview from a few years ago when they brought up California Suite where she won her second Oscar and about her director who she didn't name because he was "no longer with us" but she had found "spiky". She had heard that he had made co-star Walter Matthau cry so she felt better it wasn't just her! He was a dick to everybody.

[Sandman]

I'm trying to imagine how awful one would have to be to make a seasoned old pro like Walter Matthau or Dame Maggie cry. I ... can't.

"Spiky" must have been an Olympian understatement.

Edited July 26, 2018 by Sandman

[Bruinsfan]

To be fair, he apparently only succeeded in breaking down Matthau, not Dame Maggie. I don't think Hitchcock would have been up to the task of managing the latter.

[HoboClayton]

I love this ridiculous movie. It's so nostalgic. I do have the unpopular opinion that I wasn't a fan of  M'Lynn's breakdown in the cemetery. I think it's a little too real for me. I lost a lot of people at a young age, and always had to walk away during the burial. She did do a good job though. The part that to this day makes me wince in pain is how perfect Shelby pickup up Jackson from the floor and you could just feel her insides tearing apart. *Shudders* Olympia and Shirley were by far my favorites, Olympia can do no wrong in my book. Probably give it a watch today. 

[Bastet]

This was just on TV again, and I thus watched it again, and one thing I don't often comment on is that I like it's Louie - Truvy's loser, "What'd you hire her for?" son - who hops on his motorcycle and tells Sammy to get his tail hopping so he can give him a ride to the hospital at the end when Anelle goes into labor.

[UYI]

On 12/7/2018 at 11:16 PM, Bastet said:

This was just on TV again, and I thus watched it again, and one thing I don't often comment on is that I like it's Louie - Truvy's loser, "What'd you hire her for?" son - who hops on his motorcycle and tells Sammy to get his tail hopping so he can give him a ride to the hospital at the end when Anelle goes into labor.

"Come on, Sammy! Get your tail hopping!" :D 

I also love the line about how the only nice thing Truvy can say about his new girlfriend is that "all her tattoos are spelled correctly." 

Edited December 11, 2018 by UYI

[Dr.OO7]

On 4/3/2018 at 10:57 AM, UYI said:

Annelle was lucky M'Lynn didn't kill her when she said they "should all be rejoicing" because Shelby was now "with her King". Too soon, much? M'Lynn should have beat her ass for saying that at her daughter's FUNERAL. 

Hell yes. If someone had said that to me or my mother at my sister's funeral, it would have been THEIR funeral too.

My mother can't watch this movie because of how similar Shelby's death is to my sister's.

[topanga]

On 12/12/2018 at 8:45 AM, Camille said:

Quote

Annelle was lucky M'Lynn didn't kill her when she said they "should all be rejoicing" because Shelby was now "with her King". Too soon, much? M'Lynn should have beat her ass for saying that at her daughter's FUNERAL. 

Hell yes. If someone had said that to me or my mother at my sister's funeral, it would have been THEIR funeral too.

My mother can't watch this movie because of how similar Shelby's death is to my sister's.

From what I recall, M’Lynn did go off on Shelby. But because most people in their parrish were somewhat religious, at least in name, she didn’t call Shelby’s beliefs total BS. 

[UYI]

9 minutes ago, topanga said:

From what I recall, M’Lynn did go off on Shelby. But because most people in their parrish were somewhat religious, at least in name, she didn’t call Shelby’s beliefs total BS. 

Shelby was her daughter. Annelle was the one who was super religious.

[Bastet]

She did react.  Nowhere near as strongly as I would have - Annelle would be high-tailing it back to Sammy's truck and telling him they needed to move to another town if she'd said that to me - but she snapped.

Annelle initially said, "It should make you feel a lot better that Shelby is with her king."  Which I think is still inappropriate, even if M'Lynn is also a Christian; keep that thought to yourself unless she brings it up, especially when the poor woman is just minutes past burying her daughter.  M'Lynn just said, a bit tightly, "Yes, Annelle, I guess it should."

Then Annelle doubled down by saying, "We should all be rejoicing."

M'Lynn snapped, "You go on ahead.  I'm sorry if I don't feel like it.  I guess I'm a little selfish; I'd rather have her here."

Then Annelle gives her "I don't mean to upset you" apology (like, "hey, we should all sing and dance; you're daughter's dead, yay!" is going to cause a reaction other than upset), which M'Lynn thanks her for. 

It is possibly my least-favorite exchange in the movie, something I sit through to get to the iconic "I just want to hit something"/"Here, hit this" brilliance.

[Dr.OO7]

I get that she was trying to make her feel better, but even someone relieved that a loved one is no longer suffering from a debilitating illness is NOT going to be "rejoicing".

[Shannon L.]

46 minutes ago, Camille said:

I get that she was trying to make her feel better, but even someone relieved that a loved one is no longer suffering from a debilitating illness is NOT going to be "rejoicing".

I'm reminded of the scene in Terms of Endearment when Debra Winger's character died and her mother (Shirley McClane) started gasping for air saying "Oh my God. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid! Somehow I thought when she was gone it would be a relief.", then clung to the son in law that she couldn't stand.  I was just a kid who hadn't suffered a loss and that scene, as well as the scene in this movie where M'lynn broke down wrecked me.

Edited December 14, 2018 by Shannon L.

[Dr.OO7]

What do you think of the Race Lift remake from 2012?

I thought it was very good. Except that Queen Latifah (M'Lynn) and Condola Rashad (Shelby) look more like sisters than mother and daughter (there's only a 17-year age difference, and to make matters worse, Queen Latifah looks much younger than she is).

[Bastet]

4 hours ago, Camille said:

What do you think of the Race Lift remake from 2012?

I just drove myself batty trying to find the thread for that version in the TV Movies/Specials category, so I could link you to it, before finally realizing it didn't have its own thread, it's discussed in the Lifetime Movies thread.

[Sandman]

On ‎2018‎-‎12‎-‎14 at 8:36 AM, Camille said:

I get that she was trying to make her feel better, but even someone relieved that a loved one is no longer suffering from a debilitating illness is NOT going to be "rejoicing".

To be fair to Anelle, it's not like she made this up on her own -- most Christian churches have some variant on "She's in a better place now" as part of the liturgy/standard party line, sometimes even within the funeral service. Anelle was never the best at reading any room, granted, and she certainly could have picked a better moment, but I don't believe that she's being either thoughtless or deliberately cruel. If anything she always seemed slightly baffled to me; as if she's repeating what she's been taught to say at such times, and realizing as she says it that it's not ... actually helping very much ("But ... why don't I feel better?" is implied pretty strongly in what Hannah does in this scene, at least to me.)

I totally get where M'Lynn is coming from, though. I lost my own mum recently, and I probably would have worn out my slappin' hand on anybody trying that out at her funeral (or at least have been tempted to do so). My mum loved pretty much any Julia Roberts movie, including this one -- what's more she could always find it playing somewhere on tv at a moment's notice. It was a gift. It and Stepmom were replaying again recently, and I stopped and watched each for a while, and thought of my mum.   

[UYI]

This was announced about a month ago, but since it hasn't been posted here yet, here it is:

In honor of the movie's 30th anniversary this year, there will be theaters across the country bringing it back, courtesy of TCM. It will be from May 19th-21st:

https://people.com/movies/steel-magnolias-returning-theaters-30th-anniversary/

Edited March 4, 2019 by UYI

[slf]

I have more appreciation for Ouiser the older I get, lol. She has a point more often than not. 

I also always get a chuckle out of Shelby's younger brother managing to turn "Yeah!" into a two syllable word (when he high fives his brother after Drum scares all the birds out of the trees with firecrackers).

Jackson is such a douche. I was pretty annoyed to read above about how the male roles were expanded from basically nothing in the play. I think their characters are the weakest in the movie. I wish it had been a more faithful adaptation.

[Bruinsfan]

I thought Drum's antagonism with Ouiser was fun, and more Tom Skerrit is always a plus. The rest of the guys, though...

[Bastet]

4 hours ago, slf said:

I have more appreciation for Ouiser the older I get, lol.

She's highly quotable!  Just alter some specifics if need be, and have at it in your own life.

"You are too twisted for color TV."

"You are a pig from hell."

"He is a boil on the butt of humanity."

"The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God."

"I'm not as sweet as I used to be."

"You are evil, and you must be destroyed."

"I'm not crazy, M'Lynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

"Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy, I no longer have one."

"I am pleasant, dammit!  I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly and I smiled at the son of a bitch before I could help myself."  (The way she says "smiled" makes it art.)

"Yeah, well, the older you get, the uglier you get."

"Get your roots done."

"I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free.  And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they've got nothing but naked people in them.  And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good they're gonna make them into a miniseries."  (I don't even agree with this one, but I love it.)

"What a gentleman - I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it."

And, even though I do not have a southern accent, I am prone to saying an exact imitation of "I'm intrigued" when someone says something odd.

I was also giddy to once deal with a cranky guest at a Christmas party by asking, "Do you have a reindeer up your butt?"

Edited March 23, 2019 by Bastet

[scarynikki12]

22 minutes ago, Bastet said:

"You are evil, and you must be destroyed."

This is probably my favorite line from anything ever and I use it almost daily.

[BookWoman56]

On 3/30/2018 at 12:39 AM, Blergh said:

OK, this may sound harsh but, if having a baby would have risked her life and adoption agencies were leery of giving babies to a couple with at least one parent with a potential for a brief lifespan, it may have been best for everyone had they just gotten a puppy (and too bad no one in the movie attempted to suggest it).

This is why I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. It has great performances and often great dialogue, and I appreciate seeing the support the women give each other. But I can't get past the fact that no matter how much Harling loved his sister, she was an idiot or horribly selfish, or both, to go through such a high-risk pregnancy that damaged her already fragile health. So in her desire to give her husband a child, she set in motion the chain of events that resulted in her death, causing her family huge amounts of grief and anguish. Not to mention, there's the burden on the son, who undoubtedly has seen this movie or at least heard enough about it to feel that his very existence is a major contributing factor to his mother's death. (I doubt his father, despite coming across as a complete ass, would have given the son detailed information regarding his mother's death, other than just a generic explanation that she died from complications of a diabetic coma, or whatever.) But IMO it's a horrible thing to do, to indulge yourself in a pregnancy that you've been warned should not have happened, and leave your child to grow up with that kind of guilt. This wasn't a situation where the mother had no reason to expect anything other than a normal outcome but unexpectedly died in childbirth, which in and of itself often results in kids who feel guilty about their birth having killed their mother. Shelby knew the risks and should have thought, again strictly IMO, not about what would make her husband happy but about what the potential consequences were not just for her but for the child. For that reason, Shelby is probably my least favorite character in the movie. 

[Bastet]

49 minutes ago, BookWoman56 said:

This is why I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. It has great performances and often great dialogue, and I appreciate seeing the support the women give each other. But I can't get past the fact that no matter how much Harling loved his sister, she was an idiot or horribly selfish, or both, to go through such a high-risk pregnancy that damaged her already fragile health.

Before this movie had its own thread, I complained about that very thing in one of the miscellaneous movie threads.  Because I love the film for its relationships among the women, but - even though she's based on a real person whose family doesn't feel this way about her, so why should I - I kind of hate Shelby.  She was nice, sure, but she was, as I always say, a selfish twit!

She knew, via more than one doctor, that her body could likely not withstand pregnancy and it should thus be avoided - as it may very well kill her - but she goes ahead and purposely gets knocked up, out of some "I want a baby of my own" bullshit AND in an attempt to save her marriage to a total ass.

And, gee, who saw this coming, but it nearly kills her, and her mom has to donate a kidney to try and save her, but she dies anyway.  After spending so much time in hospital her son barely knows her, so not only does the rest of her family lose her, the kid gets to not only grow up without her, but with the inevitable guilt of his existence having set her death in motion.  She really didn't even get to actually be a mom, even for a short time.

It was all a known risk and thus a completely avoidable waste of life, devastating not just to her but to those left behind.  While I love the film as a whole, I want to throttle Shelby during the scene where she reveals she's pregnant - I love M'Lynn's reaction, but, holy hell, she should never have been put in that place to begin with -and also yell at the screen when Ouiser is the only other one of the group who grasps reality.  The rest react to the pregnancy news - knowing the doctors said Shelby shouldn't, not that she couldn't - with some ridiculous notion that because Shelby is such a sweet soul, reality will just take a backseat and everything will work out fine. 

Her "I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special" line is horrifyingly sad to me - which was not the intent - that she thought a life filled with loving family, supportive friends, and a job she loved was "nothing special" if it didn't also include a baby.

[Mabinogia]

I agree with the last two posts.

Best thing about this movie, the bond between the women.

Worst thing about this movie, Shelby.

I always wonder if it is because I never had a ticking clock, never cared to have a child if I just didn't get her desperate need to bring a life into this world but I always found it extremely selfish. She didn't give a single thought to this child having to grow up without a mother, let alone, as others said, with the inevitable guilt of being the reason his mother died. Her mother could have died giving her a kidney. Her family has to live without her. And all she could think about was how bad she wanted to have a baby. Ugh. I just don't get it. I don't have that maternal thing that makes having a baby the single most important thing a woman can do with her life to the point she'd risk her life to do it. 

That said, there was some amazing one liners, superb acting and it is so rare to see a female led movie such as this, so I do love the movie, just kind of hate the storyline. lol

[andromeda331]

17 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

I agree with the last two posts.

Best thing about this movie, the bond between the women.

Worst thing about this movie, Shelby.

I always wonder if it is because I never had a ticking clock, never cared to have a child if I just didn't get her desperate need to bring a life into this world but I always found it extremely selfish. She didn't give a single thought to this child having to grow up without a mother, let alone, as others said, with the inevitable guilt of being the reason his mother died. Her mother could have died giving her a kidney. Her family has to live without her. And all she could think about was how bad she wanted to have a baby. Ugh. I just don't get it. I don't have that maternal thing that makes having a baby the single most important thing a woman can do with her life to the point she'd risk her life to do it. 

That said, there was some amazing one liners, superb acting and it is so rare to see a female led movie such as this, so I do love the movie, just kind of hate the storyline. lol

Every woman maybe different and have a different answer. I have always wanted children. To be a Mom. I love kids. But I also currently have medical problems that have pretty made it unlikely to ever happen. I don't have diabetes and currently don't have a diagnosis. I can't take care of myself. There's no way with all my medical problems I could carry a baby now. If by some miracle it happened then my dad or my brother and sister-in-law would be stuck raising the baby. Not me. Depending on how my medical problems resolve its self stay like this, worse, a little better or even a complete recovery still doesn't mean my body could handle a pregnancy after everything and I'll probably be over forty by that point.  Adopt will be out because who would give their baby to a woman in her forties who already had two big medical problems the second and most recent that left her in need of a caretaker? It has been hard to accept.

But I still agree with you.  To have a baby now that would wreck my health even worse, that could put into question whether he or she could ever be born, and force my father who is my caretaker to take care of me and a baby? Or force my brother and sister-in-law to do that? That would be wrong and unfair to everyone especially the baby. I think Shelby was very selfish to have a baby and screw the consequences. I'm sorry but sometimes you do have to weigh the consequences and realize what's best is not to have child. Its hard, yes, its unfair yes. Especially when you see people all around you having kids with no problems. But you know what? Sometimes you have to make that decision.  Its not fair to bring Jack Jr into a world knowing he's pregnancy and birth is what killed his mother, making her parents and brothers go through losing her, and having to accept how much or how little they get to see Jack Jr. depending on what Jackson decides, and its wrong to use a baby to try and save your marriage. Her mother gave up a kidney. What if she has kidney problems down the road? She was so selfish. 

I have a love-hate for the movie for the same thing. I love the friendships and being there for each other. M'Lynn, Ousier all of them were so good together. I liked Drum. But I hate Shelby.

[Mabinogia]

10 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

Every woman maybe different and have a different answer. I have always wanted children. To be a Mom. I love kids. But I also currently have medical problems that have pretty made it unlikely to ever happen. I don't have diabetes and currently don't have a diagnosis. I can't take care of myself. There's no way with all my medical problems I could carry a baby now. If by some miracle it happened then my dad or my brother and sister-in-law would be stuck raising the baby. Not me. Depending on how my medical problems resolve its self stay like this, worse, a little better or even a complete recovery still doesn't mean my body could handle a pregnancy after everything and I'll probably be over forty by that point.  Adopt will be out because who would give their baby to a woman in her forties who already had two big medical problems the second and most recent that left her in need of a caretaker? It has been hard to accept.

Life is very unfair. I respect the hell out of you for actually thinking beyond "I want a baby, damn the consequences". It isn't easy to make such a choice. I hope that you get a diagnosis soon. I know what it's like to have something with no name. I was diagnosed with MS a few years back and while I was devastated, it was also a relief to finally have a name to put to my issues. It was nice to finally be able to say "no, I'm not just lazy, it takes ten times the amount of energy for me to do something that you take for granted". 

Even if I had wanted children, I am glad I didn't have any because I barely have the energy to take care of myself. It wouldn't kill me to have a baby, but I can't imagine the struggle it would be to care for it once it was born. 

I was a teen when the movie came out so I didn't originally watch it in the mindset of putting myself in Shelby's shoes, but I found her selfish then. I still find her selfish now. She was strong, and she was brave, but she was very, very selfish. 

The best thing I can say about Shelby in the movie was that she had the most amazing head of hair. I envied that hair so much. 

[andromeda331]

36 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

Life is very unfair. I respect the hell out of you for actually thinking beyond "I want a baby, damn the consequences". It isn't easy to make such a choice. I hope that you get a diagnosis soon. I know what it's like to have something with no name. I was diagnosed with MS a few years back and while I was devastated, it was also a relief to finally have a name to put to my issues. It was nice to finally be able to say "no, I'm not just lazy, it takes ten times the amount of energy for me to do something that you take for granted". 

Even if I had wanted children, I am glad I didn't have any because I barely have the energy to take care of myself. It wouldn't kill me to have a baby, but I can't imagine the struggle it would be to care for it once it was born. 

I was a teen when the movie came out so I didn't originally watch it in the mindset of putting myself in Shelby's shoes, but I found her selfish then. I still find her selfish now. She was strong, and she was brave, but she was very, very selfish. 

The best thing I can say about Shelby in the movie was that she had the most amazing head of hair. I envied that hair so much. 

Thank you.

I can understand that. However hard it will be to hear what the problem is. Its will also be a nice to finally know what's going on. With my first problem which is a lot smaller compared to MS, a stomach problem which took five years to find a diagnosis. It was hard to find out there's so much I can't eat and have to be put on a specific diet. But it was also such a relief to have an answer, to know what it was, what was causing it and what to do. With this current problem I'm back at having so many problems, so many different symptoms, flare ups, pain, etc. We've ruled out so many things which is great. But its still harder not to know. I'm glad you finally got a diagnosis. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

Shelby was very selfish. She should have looked at what her health problems were and decided no. And that she still has and could have a good life. She had family and friends that loved her. Even if her marriage with Jackson eventually tanked maybe she'd find someone better. I agree too that she had really great hair. 

Edited March 23, 2019 by andromeda331

[Mabinogia]

1 minute ago, andromeda331 said:

Even if her marriage with Jackson eventually tanked maybe she'd find someone better.

It wouldn't have been that hard, Jackson kind of sucked. haha

[Cobalt Stargazer]

16 hours ago, Bastet said:

Before this movie had its own thread, I complained about that very thing in one of the miscellaneous movie threads.  Because I love the film for its relationships among the women, but - even though she's based on a real person whose family doesn't feel this way about her, so why should I - I kind of hate Shelby.  She was nice, sure, but she was, as I always say, a selfish twit!

She knew, via more than one doctor, that her body could likely not withstand pregnancy and it should thus be avoided - as it may very well kill her - but she goes ahead and purposely gets knocked up, out of some "I want a baby of my own" bullshit AND in an attempt to save her marriage to a total ass.

Hell, when Shelby tells M'Lynn that she's pregnant, her mother already knew that there was an eighty five percent chance of it leading exactly where it led. When Shelby gets a little snotty about the lack of congratulations, her mom deadpans 'congratulations', but she's got this look on her face that says the total opposite. Knowing that the play and movie are centered around a real person makes me wonder if "real life" M'Lynn had a similar reaction or if that was just how Sally Field decided to play it.

[andromeda331]

28 minutes ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Hell, when Shelby tells M'Lynn that she's pregnant, her mother already knew that there was an eighty five percent chance of it leading exactly where it led. When Shelby gets a little snotty about the lack of congratulations, her mom deadpans 'congratulations', but she's got this look on her face that says the total opposite. Knowing that the play and movie are centered around a real person makes me wonder if "real life" M'Lynn had a similar reaction or if that was just how Sally Field decided to play it.

She really was a little snot and obviously didn't really care about how her mother. She expected her to be happy for her, congratulate her and was mad when her mother had the nerve to be upset and horrified because she knows her daughter is going to die. It could be in nine months or less. Shelby got lucky she lasted as long as she did after the birth. She's not sympathetic or caring at all towards her mother and how she feels. She just gets mad that she's not congratulated. I love how Sally Field plays it. It was exactly how you'd expect a mother to react to learn her daughter telling her that.  Nope its all about Shelby and what she wants.