S05.E03: Big Fat Ambush

[PityFree]

 Well, you are all connected now, Whitney, since you probably all share the same STDs now... courtesy of Avi. 

[John M]

A plane crash? Really?

1 minute ago, PityFree said:

 Well, you are all connected now, Whitney, since you probably all share the same STDs now... courtesy of Avi. 

How? Does Avi have like a 3 foot long penis?

[ThinkerBell]

What kind of sweet cheque did TLC cut for Avi, because this is starting look like harassment?

[AliM]

Thinking they should have all sat on his car when he was trying to get away.  Pancake that sucker.

[Maggienolia]

And just when I thought she was going to say something like she hated to admit that these women had it worse than she did or some kind of sudden bit of empathy but NO she's jealous. Jealous?? Of what? Of the fact that it's no longer all and only about her?? 

[AliM]

A shot of determination, 2T of something bitter and a cheesecake or two.

[PityFree]

6 minutes ago, John M said:

 

How? Does Avi have like a 3 foot long penis?

He got their armpits pregnant.

[sainte-chapelle]

2 minutes ago, Maggienolia said:

And just when I thought she was going to say something like she hated to admit that these women had it worse than she did or some kind of sudden bit of empathy but NO she's jealous. Jealous?? Of what? Of the fact that it's no longer all and only about her?? 

Not shocking, she is a narcissist therefore everything needs to be about her.

[LordOfLotion]

They're taking these two on a hike and there is no ambulance on standby.

[Maggienolia]

Here we go: fat girl skiing a la hiking. 

$10 says Twit planned to go on the hike KNOWING that Nada wouldn't be able to do it and it would make Twit look healthy and fit by comparison. 

Edited January 17, 2018 by Maggienolia

[Brooklynista]

1 minute ago, Maggienolia said:

Here we go: fat girl skiing a la hiking. 

And to humiliate her a bit more, they edit in this super heavy breathing. Notice we dont actually see Nada panting like a dog.

[ClareWalks]

Oh my god, you guys are HILARIOUS. I'm not even watching (DVRing for tomorrow) but I have such a clear mental image of everything you're saying. The Jurassic Park line almost made me fall out of my chair.

[aliya]

What the heck - on so many levels. Glenn already said it was very hot & they should go in. What would possess Whit to take Nada on an 8 mile hike in the heat? Why not walk the mall if you're looking for something to do, for crying out loud?

Did Whit not get the memo that it is impolite, like bordering on racist in some circles, to touch somebody's hair like that? It's like white people wanting to touch Afros  back in the day. No. Just no. Keep your hands to yourself. 

And wait a minute - she left Nada there. She left a foreign visitor who was having problems walking and breathing on the friggin' trail????  Rude. Just rude.

Edited January 17, 2018 by aliya
Whit is an idiot.

[LookABird]

It's a good thing I read this forum for the snark because I feel terribly sad for both of them right now as they attempt to hike.

[Maggienolia]

Just now, aliya said:

What the heck - on so many levels. Glenn already said it was very hot & they should go in. What would possess Whit to take Nada on an 8 mile hike in the heat? Why not walk the mall if you're looking for something to do, for crying out loud?

Did Whit not get the memo that it is impolite, like bordering on racist in some circles, to touch somebody's hair like that? It's like white people wanting to touch Afros  back in the day. No. Just no. Keep your hands to yourself. 

While I have typed it a few times, I have literally YELLED "stop touching people" at the screen this whole episode. I would have slapped her by now. 

[PityFree]

 You are a bitch, Whitney. She’s your guest.  You chose that activity activity purposefully to humiliate her.

ETA:  kudos to that random hiker girl who stayed with her and was kind to Nada.

Edited January 17, 2018 by PityFree

[LordOfLotion]

Well look at how much better off Whiney is than Nada. Nobody can say Whitney is unhealthy now.

[Maggienolia]

Aaaannnnd the shirt is off.

[John M]

So the walking trail ended where it started? What did she think was going to happen, they chopper them out of the middle of the forest when they are done walking? How does Whit think walking tails work?

[Donut Bear]

7 minutes ago, Maggienolia said:

Here we go: fat girl skiing a la hiking. 

$10 says Twit planned to go on the hike KNOWING that Nada wouldn't be able to do it and it would make Twit look healthy and fit by comparison. 

You are right.  Whitney is SO fit and is SO worried at Nada who is not as fit as Whitney.  Whitney can hike for miles up hill and down hill because she is so healthy and fit.

[ClareWalks]

You said they attempted an 8 mile hike? Nope. That would be literally insane for a dry-heaving 5K walker. They made it 1/10th mile and gave up wheezing, I'm guessing.

[Maggienolia]

Just now, Donut Bear said:

You are right.  Whitney is SO fit and is SO worried at Nada who is not as fit as Whitney.  Whitney can hike for miles up hill and down hill because she is so healthy and fit.

Please tell me you couldn't type that with a straight face. ;)

[AliM]

@LookABird, agreed but for heaven's sake, this is year 3 of this show.  Ol Whit ain't interested in losing weight.  None of these women seem to be.

[LookABird]

2 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

You said they attempted an 8 mile hike? Nope. That would be literally insane for a dry-heaving 5K walker. They made it 1/10th mile and gave up wheezing, I'm guessing.

I think the full trail was 8/10 of a mile aka a brief stroll.

[Mierin]

3 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

You said they attempted an 8 mile hike? Nope. That would be literally insane for a dry-heaving 5K walker. They made it 1/10th mile and gave up wheezing, I'm guessing.

My understanding was that it was just under a mile.  Not 8 miles.  I could be wrong though. 

[AliM]

that's a great chair. what brand is that

[ClareWalks]

1 minute ago, LookABird said:

I think the full trail was 8/10 of a mile aka a brief stroll.

Gotcha, I saw someone wrote 8 miles upthread and I was like Whaaaaaaa?!

[MegD]

When did this become "Before the 90 Days: My Big Fat Fabulous Romance"? Because clearly, this is their awkward "are we getting engaged or not?" weekend of love together. Twit, no one is buying what you are trying to sell. You've also got a good 10 years on Nada. It's different for her to get cat-fished. It's less pathetic and sad. You're just coming across extra creepy.

[xls]

23 minutes ago, Maggienolia said:

You win the internet tonight!!!! I snorted when I read this. 

 

27 minutes ago, LordOfLotion said:

Now if they all go along in a van or something for the confrontation, when they get out and are walking toward him, is his drink going to do those little pools like Jurassic Park?

https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=qNXA5fsk&id=FDC226F1D635AF9E25454FCA73D36E11151E8C64&thid=OIP.qNXA5fskfj1uKZd2IZpQBwHaFV&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2F19ijzMia1BaMg%2Fgiphy.gif&exph=230&expw=319&q=Jurassic+Park+Water+Glass&simid=607999377813933832&selectedindex=3&ajaxhist=0&pivotparams=insightsToken%3Dccid_zOZjw3c7*mid_2DF2E527F7885675782744D624D6C371281A00DE*simid_608047369738652342*thid_OIP.zOZjw3c7doBycad3bE9tjgHaD0&iss=VSI

[AliM]

Whew!  "Hike" completed.  Cancel the injury lawyer.

[sainte-chapelle]

I'm in ok shape and 8 miles seems long to me...that is what.? 14 k? I could do that fairly easily but it seems impossible for those two.

Edited January 17, 2018 by sainte-chapelle

[John M]

This is an awful lot of consternation over a CLASS THAT DOES NOT EXIST.

[Brooklynista]

10 minutes ago, LordOfLotion said:

Well look at how much better off Whiney is than Nada. Nobody can say Whitney is unhealthy now.

Since when does Whitney hike? Nothing says humble brag like making yourself look like the skinnier fat chick. I'm fat but im not THAT fat.

[John M]

Plan to move forward? From what? It's over, you are already forward, there is no more forward to go, you didn't just separate from your husband, you had a brief long distance relationship with an asshole

[Maggienolia]

How old is Nada?

[AliM]

She hikes to and from the buffet table.   Ahhh, sorry, that's not fair.  I'm cracking myself up now.

[John M]

Holy fuck was was that bullshit with the tailgate? Was that concocted just to make her look like an idiot?

[sara1025]

Does this woman ever wear anything besides a sports bra and leggings in public? I weigh about 300 lbs less than her and would not be caught DEAD wearing just a sports bra out in public! Your giant bulging, jiggling stomach is NOT sexy, get that through your head!

Edited January 17, 2018 by sara1025

[xls]

1 minute ago, Brooklynista said:

Since when does Whitney hike? Nothing says humble brag like making yourself look like the skinnier fat chick. I'm fat but im not THAT fat.

 

I hate heavy ppl who act like they're better than heavier people! It was done to me and its not nice & I would have slowed down and walked with my friend.

[AliM]

Just now, sara1025 said:

Does this woman ever wear anything besides a sports bra and leggings in public? I weigh about 300 lbs less than her and would not be caught DEAD dressed like that out in public! Your giant bulging, jiggling stomach is NOT sexy, get that through your head!

Well, it was to Avi apparently!  However briefly that is.

[WhatsUpDummy]

What answers do you need? The guys a cheater. End of story. It sucks. Move on. And stop touching people!!!

[Maggienolia]

2 minutes ago, xls said:

 

I hate heavy ppl who act like they're better than heavier people! It was done to me and its not nice & I would have slowed down and walked with my friend.

Amen! And when it's YOUR guest too! Bad form Twit! But nothing we haven't come to expect from you. 

[PityFree]

 So what was that trip to Nashville?? a honeymoon for the Whitney and Nada??

[AliM]

This is some gripping dialogue here

[LordOfLotion]

7 minutes ago, Maggienolia said:

How old is Nada?

This says 27: https://www.couchsurfing.com/people/nadalouis

[John M]

So now you are stalking and harassing the guy? With a film crew. Way to take the low ground on a guy who was cheating on you.

Edited January 17, 2018 by John M

[aliya]

19 minutes ago, Mierin said:

My understanding was that it was just under a mile.  Not 8 miles.  I could be wrong though. 

I thought I heard 8 miles. My fault.

As usual, I'm 'watching' this with my back turned. Why would you ask for a chair on a hiking trail? And where did they get one? 

[ThinkerBell]

I would love it if Avi delivered the final crushing blow to Whitney by starting his own Big Girl Dance Class.

[AliM]

1 minute ago, aliya said:

I thought I heard 8 miles. My fault.

As usual, I'm 'watching' this with my back turned. Why would you ask for a chair on a hiking trail? And where did they get one? 

Chair sherpa?

[PityFree]

Just now, ThinkerBell said:

I would love it if Avi delivered the final crushing blow to Whitney by starting his own Big Girl Dance Class.

And now I am dead from laughing so hard.