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All Episodes Talk: Small World, Big Lives


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Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

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Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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If you're saying Tory married Zach in a legally binding marriage for a paycheck, where she is pretending to be Zach's wife which frankly would involve having sex with him in order to preserve the sham... then yeah you're implying she gets that paycheck in part for sex. Thats why I don't buy its a sham marriage... she doesn't strike me as capable of lying to Zach, marrying Zach in front of friends and family, having sex with Zach, potentially having children with Zach... all for a paycheck.

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I assume it based on the idea that they are married and talking about children. That's what happens in marriages. Ever hear the one about how if if you hear hoofbeats and see a bunch of four legged animals running by, it's almost always horses and not zebras? I'm open to actual evidence of the "sham" but there does need to be *some* for me to buy it.

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It really isn't any spouses to improve or retrain any adult and only fools try. Tori seems happy for now. Watching the wedding my mom said "Tori and Zach have a good chance of making it but I give Jer and Auj three years tops" She's never wrong.

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I don't think its a sham. I mean, they dated for what, four years? She *legally married* him and there were religious vows and Zach, Amy and Tory all seem to take that sort of thing - lying before God about wanting to be wed for money - pretty seriously. And the pay off is pretty crummy - Tory has a real not on tv and not "working on the farm" job - she clearly doesn't feel the money is good enough to quit working.

Willowsmom - I haven't made a prediction but I do think your mom has something. Personally, I think as long as the money is coming in from the show and as long as Jeremy and Auj don't have a baby or have any sort of serious health or money issue, they will maintain their cheerfully shallow marriage for a good bit. They're a crisis away from serious issues and neither of them will handle a baby being the center of attention well.

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I have trouble imagining Auj enduring pregnancy with any grace.  I fear she will be one of "first ever" pregnancy types and her suffering will top every other pregnant woman. 

I guess there is hope that Jer and Auj will mature and mature together, but usually there is some sign by their age of something deeper if it exists within the people. 

Tori and Zach seem more grounded and at least with Tori there seems to be substance.

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(edited)

It was interesting to compare the two couples.  I am deaf- fluent in sign language and rely heavily on visual/oral cues to make my way through life.  How people say things (or don't say) is more interesting to me than what they say because most of the time that is where the truth resides.

Tori and Zach are a genuinely happy couple in my opinion. Auj and Jeremy are struggling.  

Auj really likes her hair though and is happy with her looks. They are both concerned with appearances IMO.

If you want to try improving your hand at body language, try watching a reality episode with the sound off and figure out what is going on. Then watch it again with the sound on.  Obviously it doesn't work with an action packed episode but... you will be surprised at what you pick up. 

Edited by Jellybeans
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The dog.  It was gross enough that Zach said he woke up with dog hair in his teeth.  Why in the world did they bring the dog to a house that has no dog?  If Jeremy also owned a dog I can see asking.  Jeremy was right about the dog doing fine without heat.  In fact a dog like that is probably less comfortable indoors.  We always had a hunting dog and only brought him indoors in extreme heat or cold.  Even then he preferred the basement where it is cooler.

Matt and Amy are the most miserable people I've seen in a long while.

Amy - You don't use "and I" in a prepositional phrase.  Easy way to remember is to always go to the box.  Around the box, within the box, with the box etc.  Didn't she work at a school?

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Tori takes Sully everywhere and he lives in the house. To suddenly throw him in an unheated garage alone is cruel. It very clear shows how screwed up Jer and Auj's priorities are and how little they care for others feelings or God's creatures that aren't Jer and Auj.

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10 minutes ago, Willowsmom said:

Tori takes Sully everywhere and he lives in the house. To suddenly throw him in an unheated garage alone is cruel. It very clear shows how screwed up Jer and Auj's priorities are and how little they care for others feelings or God's creatures that aren't Jer and Auj.

I disagree:  To turn an animal into a baby is wrong and I think cruel in and of itself.  It makes the dog have to live the life of people and people not respecting the animal as an animal.

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Doesn't matter what you or I would do. Sully was raised the way Tori wanted and now that is his life. Suddenly treating  him differently for no good reason beyond Auj and Jer's ego ( eek, dog hair) is unacceptable . It would be equally cruel to suddenly bring a dog used to living outside in and force it to change.

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Dogs are pack animals.  They like companionship.  Because a dog can survive an outside life doesn't mean it likes it.  Sully is used to being treated as part of a pack,  as he should be.  No surprise that he was unhappy being separated from his pack. Jeremy repeatedly not even knowing the dog's sex showed how much he cared about the dog.  What a douche.

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I'm of two minds. Tory is every large fluffy dog owner I dislike. (and I don't hate large fluffy dogs, I grew up with a long haired akita) She hauls the dog every where she goes and she doesn't train it or discipline it and acts like it's her baby and you're being a monster if you don't want her baby in your home. Sully is a big dog, he should have been left at home with friends and if he isn't trained enough to separate from Tory without freaking out, that's a bad pet parent.

That said - if you're not allowed to have dogs in your rental, don't say yes to the dog. And if they're asking to bring the dog, then guess what? They probably are not going to be ok with the dog being locked outside or locked in the darkened garage.

That Jeremy didn't know the dog was male is just an indicator that he's still not the family brain trust.

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Amy and Matt act like Molly and Jacob aren't even their kids. How many times did Amy say -- I won't be making Thanksgiving dinner this year bc my kids will be with their inlaws. Um -- what about Molly and Jacob? Why not call and invite them home? Yes Molly is at college but I don't know of a single college that doesn't give a 4 day weekend and it's not like they can't afford a plane ticket for her; and Jacob is not even in school.

And I LOVE the shock from Matt bc he didn't "calculate" that Zach and Jer would have inlaws and would have to spend time with them. Uh!? Really? I thought it was nice for Zach/Tori to invite his parents to come to Tori's parents' house.

And as to the above -- Zach and Tori seem genuinely happy to me. I don't see it as a sham or gold digger marriage --kind of like I see Jer and Auj. They both have their own jobs -- Tori went to college and is a teacher; Zach is still at indoor goals. They've said they want to be near the farm and keep it in the family, but Tori expressly said they don't desire to live on the farm and run it. I'm not suggesting that Zach and Tori are or ever will be rolling in money -- but they're like any young married couple in middle America -- working to make their way. Different from Jer and Auj who seem to do nothing and are just waiting for the farm to be bestowed on them one day.

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WTH!? Both daughters in law reconsidered going to their parents' for Thanksgiving bc they didn't want Matt and Amy to be lonely!? Why couldn't one son go to his inlaws and other with his parents? Or switch off Thanksgiving and Christmas or do a dinner with the inlaws on Thursday and with Matt and Amy on Saturday? By setting this precedent, I hope Tori and Auj's parents get used to being second fiddle forever. I'm sure Auj wanted to do this to keep her inlaws happy, so as not to upset the apple cart with respect to inheriting the farm. And then Zach always does whatever Jer does so he likely talked his wife into it/or she felt forced.

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(edited)
2 hours ago, cereality said:

WTH!? Both daughters in law reconsidered going to their parents' for Thanksgiving bc they didn't want Matt and Amy to be lonely!? Why couldn't one son go to his inlaws and other with his parents? Or switch off Thanksgiving and Christmas or do a dinner with the inlaws on Thursday and with Matt and Amy on Saturday? By setting this precedent, I hope Tori and Auj's parents get used to being second fiddle forever. I'm sure Auj wanted to do this to keep her inlaws happy, so as not to upset the apple cart with respect to inheriting the farm. And then Zach always does whatever Jer does so he likely talked his wife into it/or she felt forced.

Would you want to be with those parents?  Not me!

About Zach and the dishes.  I felt bad for him.  Why couldn't they put dishes where he can reach them without climbing?  The everyday dishes or a set of should be available to him.  When we were kids our mom put sets of dishes in the lower cabinets.  It was great.

Don't even get me started about the shoes on the counters.

Edited by jumper sage
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(edited)

Way to ruin Thanksgiving Amy! Sure, Matt was being a big baby jerk, sitting in the dining room alone, but he didn't say anything to anyone. You did not have to cop an attitude and make it uncomfortable for everyone else. And then to continue to nitpick and point him out at every moment served no purpose but to make you look petty. If the kids were smart, this would be the last holiday I spent with them.

Ugh, and then she's so damn loud and obnoxious! I just wanted to slap a muzzle on her during the dinner. The kids don't need you to kiss their asses all the time.

Edited by MitaJo
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50 minutes ago, cereality said:

By setting this precedent, I hope Tori and Auj's parents get used to being second fiddle forever. 

I felt bad for both sets of in-laws in this episode.  I think they did a nice thing for Matt & Amy during a particularly difficult year for them, but I could feel the worried vibes coming off Audrey and Tori that this might set a dangerous precedent. They both look like they are sooooo over the divorce drama, and who can blame them.  I hope they got to spend time with families alone over Christmas.  

I don't know if it was scripted, but Matt sitting alone at the table awaiting his turkey like Henry VIII was definitely meant to push Amy's buttons.  It was just a dick move, especially in front of company.  I can't stand that guy.

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It was a dick move for Matt to sit there waiting for his turkey and checking his watch, instead of -- you know -- mingling with their guests. BUT who exactly says "shove it up your @$$" in front of polite company and when they know they're being taped, on a holiday!? Classy. They deserve each other. Zach, Jer and their wives looked super worried when she said that bc you know they were thinking -- OMG this is about to turn into a 2 hr screaming match between Matt and Amy in front of my new inlaws . . . .

Glad Tori got to spend the day with her parents without her inlaws or her husband -- she didn't get there until 4 pm bc she was cooking at her parents' home all day.

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(edited)

Can we please have a drinking game where we take a swig of our favourite adult beverage every time Jer or Zach say they are, "so stoked"? I loved it when the very special red-headed snowflake, pretending to have the culinary knowledge of Julia Child, instructed Jeremy to be sure to take the bag of giblets out of the turkey and then asked if the neck from said giblet bag was the bird's "wiener".

Edited by ThinkerBell
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On May 19, 2016 at 11:33 AM, ZoloftBlob said:

 Particularly since I don't think Zach thinks its a sham... so when the time comes for Tory to divorce Zach - because thats what people do in sham marriages, the plan is always to divorce once there's no profitability.... So if its all a lie on Tory's part, what is she getting?

I see Tory and Zach being honest and true about their situation. Even when Jeremy was talking about money being an issue in his marriage, Tory was quick to point out that she and Zach are not that worried about money. Both of them are working, and they both have made it clear they have no plans of living on the farm, or working it. I think they have a good future ahead of them. As for Jeremy and A., all I know is that he was head over heels for her when they hooked up. She may not have good intentions, but I do believe that he truly thought she was 'the one' for him. I don't even want to think negatively about any of the kids because I'd like to think that Amy instilled better values than that.

On May 18, 2016 at 9:56 PM, Maharincess said:

They've been doing this a while now, I can't believe it's still so disorganized. 

I'm pretty sure the gold panning station was a new one. Now they know better for next year.

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On May 18, 2016 at 7:45 PM, humbleopinion said:

You know, Amy is quite an attractive woman, and I could see her being asked out. I often wonder if Matt met someone while he's off flying around the country. It would be interesting to find out. Then again, with all the physical pain he's in, he probably has no interest in putting in the effort it requires to 'date'.

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On May 18, 2016 at 7:45 PM, humbleopinion said:

It's officially over...

I have read a lot about the differences between Matt and Amy, and I have watched the two of them go at each other and list their complaints about each other. The one complaint that has me ready to toss things at the tv is the subject of Amy's messiness. I watched Amy work, attend (at times coach) soccer games, drive the kids here and there, volunteer for events, help run that farm and I used to get tired watching her. I would also feel guilty because she does far more - with her limitations - then I ever do. Despite her trying to get the kids to clean up, as well as Matt, everyone ignored her. I'd just like to know where it is written that the woman has to maintain the cleanliness of the home? If the house is a pigsty, the woman is blamed. I have 4 kids and a hubby, and they will not lift a finger to help. I have let the house go for weeks, only to break down and clean because none of them cared. As I asked them, where is that master chore list, that has my name put down as a permanent toilet cleaner. Amy will get her clean house when they are all gone, which is soon.

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What I found interesting was last fall, Amy posted on her Instagram a photo of her, with Molly and Jacob. Captioned that twins were missing out and each at their respective in-laws for thanksgiving. So the twins did attend their in laws events, and they contrived this big one at the farm on a different day. 

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On May 2, 2016 at 6:35 AM, Katydid said:

I'm scolding myself in advance for the fact that I will inevitably watch this crap.   

By the way, yesterday Audrey posted a video on Instagram of her surprising Jeremy with an early birthday gift of a motorcycle.  This morning there was a pic of her in the ER- apparently they were hit by a car while riding said motorcycle.  She has a dislocated shoulder, but apparently is ok otherwise and so is Jeremy.  

Will a financial lawsuit follow? Or was it their fault?

1 hour ago, ZoloftBlob said:

"Hey folks, it's thanksgiving! Lets whip pumpkins at wine bottles and break them!"

Seriously this felt totally staged.

I tell ya, Zoloftblob has the best quips/ responses! I am a fan.

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I wonder if the family would tolerate Amy's abusive behavior is she were using a weapon instead of words? I hope she gets the help she needs.  Even the kids seem to acknowledge how Amy is now.  Recall Tori sharing about how she was afraid of upsetting Amy in he interview show?  The lady needs help, IMO. Blaming Matt doesn't work anymore. 

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total bitch move on Amy, with company present no less. I have been in situations where buttons were pushed but never let myself get to the point of making every one  in my presence uncomfortable & I totally get "girl crush" vibe from Tori around Molly ;) 

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7 hours ago, iheartla said:

What I found interesting was last fall, Amy posted on her Instagram a photo of her, with Molly and Jacob. Captioned that twins were missing out and each at their respective in-laws for thanksgiving. So the twins did attend their in laws events, and they contrived this big one at the farm on a different day. 

One of the daughter in laws made a quick comment at the table that the experience would help them when they celebrate Thanksgiving or celebrate out Thanksgiving.  Totally makes sense, who's going to pay a crew holiday pay for filming this show?  Also explains why the in laws changing their dinner plans was no big deal and moving their meals to the farm consisted of two sets of parents and one sister.

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Have to be honest, I thought it was a bitch move on Matt's part to pick a fight in front of guests. There's company, his kids inlaws, who have theoretically changed their plans to accomadate someone else's divorce, and what does Matt choose to do?

He makes a scene. He sits down at the table, tapping his watch with a big old "I was TOLD dinner was at 6:30! Amy is always late!" This was a big passive aggressive 'see why I dovorced her, everyone?' moment designed to humilate her in front of guests that she probably wanted to please.

And he got what he wanted, she lost her temper and now he's "Poor put upon Matt, abused in his home, all the lil diddums wanted was some supper and mean Amy was mean!".

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11 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Have to be honest, I thought it was a bitch move on Matt's part to pick a fight in front of guests. There's company, his kids inlaws, who have theoretically changed their plans to accomadate someone else's divorce, and what does Matt choose to do?

He makes a scene. He sits down at the table, tapping his watch with a big old "I was TOLD dinner was at 6:30! Amy is always late!" This was a big passive aggressive 'see why I dovorced her, everyone?' moment designed to humilate her in front of guests that she probably wanted to please.

And he got what he wanted, she lost her temper and now he's "Poor put upon Matt, abused in his home, all the lil diddums wanted was some supper and mean Amy was mean!".

Just another example of Matt's obsessive attempts to control Amy. 

Force the sale of the farm Amy and run fast and far.

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(edited)
Quote

He makes a scene. He sits down at the table, tapping his watch with a big old "I was TOLD dinner was at 6:30! Amy is always late!" This was a big passive aggressive 'see why I dovorced her, everyone?'

That's so typical of people with Matt's personality disorders.  He's always the poor pitiful put upon Mattie.  In his hay bales for the last few years all he has done is talk about all his horrible hardships.  He manipulates the situations to be able to play victim. 

One of the things I've found funny is with Matt complaining about the house and all of Amy's stuff while Matt has had barns and barns full of his stuff. 

Edited by Absolom
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on I think TWoP board several years ago when Molly was referring to Parmesan cheese and she called it parmesian (I know it's not spelled right but that's how she pronounced it) and then last night the chef and Amy's friend corrected her, her friend even saying "stop with the parmesian" lol, I guess that's how they really said it. Thought it was funny after so many commented about it way back when. 

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16 hours ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Interesting that Jacob (and wife/girlfriend) mingle with Molly and Amy, but are invisible on the show.  I wonder if Amy realizes that he had a hard childhood -- he didn't ask to be filmed all the time -- and is mending fences.

15 hours ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Have to be honest, I thought it was a bitch move on Matt's part to pick a fight in front of guests. There's company, his kids inlaws, who have theoretically changed their plans to accomadate someone else's divorce, and what does Matt choose to do?

He makes a scene. He sits down at the table, tapping his watch with a big old "I was TOLD dinner was at 6:30! Amy is always late!" This was a big passive aggressive 'see why I dovorced her, everyone?' moment designed to humilate her in front of guests that she probably wanted to please.

And he got what he wanted, she lost her temper and now he's "Poor put upon Matt, abused in his home, all the lil diddums wanted was some supper and mean Amy was mean!".

The thing is -- Amy wasn't even responsible for the timing of dinner; the kids were.  So Matt blaming Amy was even more of a dick move.

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Message added by Mod-LunarJester,

Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

Guest

Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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