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Social Media: What's Up With Her?


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Culture Check: How can we come up with catchy or snarky topic titles and still remember the human behind the title? 

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(edited)
37 minutes ago, LordOfLotion said:

I need her to stop drawing in the double row of eyebrows. It's driving me loony.

Twit's in a constant state of "existential crisis"? This long screed on IG & FB once again shows what a pompous ass she is.

And she mentions having THREE cats. So, once again, what has happened to Steve Purrwin? 

@LordOfLotion, I know nothing about makeup, so I don't understand the eyebrow remark. Can you explain what I should be looking for?

Twit's been away from SM a couple of weeks which previously has meant MBFFL was filming on location. I wonder if she will blab about where she's been as she did with the HI trip.

Edited by Dot
correct typo
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I note that Whit says "witnessing other people's truths" gives her life meaning, but she doesn't value her own truth. Says quite a bit there, I think.

(Also, she doesn't value her health or body, hmmmmmmm.)

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21 minutes ago, Dot said:

Twit's in a constant state of "existential crisis"? This long screed on IG & FB once again shows what a pompous ass she is.

And she mentions having THREE cats. So, once again, what has happened to Steve Purrwin? 

@LordOfLotion, I know nothing about makeup, so I don't understand the eyebrow remark. Can you explain what I should be looking for?

Twit's been away from SM a couple of weeks which previously has meant MBFFL was filming on location. I wonder if she will blab about where she's been as she did with the HI trip.

It's may not be as easy to see in the black and white, so I cut out an image from one of her recent color pictures and magnified it to 2 times the size as well. She's drawing in a second set of eyebrows above her first set, and it's painfully obvious because the second set is a lot lighter than the first. I do not understand why she is doing it. Her regular eyebrows are just fine. They don't seem to have any gaps in them-- in the color one there is a little bit of a gap on the edge between the pencil and the natural brow, though. I think she's trying to make them more arched, but she's not brushing the natural brow into it. It's like she's drawing a shadow on. I just do not get it.

whiteye.jpg

whitbrow2.jpg

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8 minutes ago, LordOfLotion said:

It's may not be as easy to see in the black and white, so I cut out an image from one of her recent color pictures and magnified it to 2 times the size as well. She's drawing in a second set of eyebrows above her first set, and it's painfully obvious because the second set is a lot lighter than the first. I do not understand why she is doing it. Her regular eyebrows are just fine. They don't seem to have any gaps in them-- in the color one there is a little bit of a gap on the edge between the pencil and the natural brow, though. I think she's trying to make them more arched, but she's not brushing the natural brow into it. It's like she's drawing a shadow on. I just do not get it.

whiteye.jpg

whitbrow2.jpg

Thanks!  ? The enlarged, color photo makes very obvious what you were talking about.

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17 hours ago, ChessDiva19 said:

 It's the psychologist's job to help track progress, introduce new tools, and to steer the conversation and to keep it on track. It doesn't surprise me that Whit's been seeing a psychologist on the regular if she's been suffering from depression since adolescence but if she's been seeing the same one? That's not right. Granted, that all mental health professionals want to help patients, if after this many years the patient is still coming to you on regular weekly visits then something is wrong. Patients need to be able to work without the help of their psychologist. We give them the tools they need and they need to be able to live their lives without having to keep coming back for support. It sounds cruel I know but it's true. Now, if by some impossible chance that Whit is seeing someone for HPD. Learning to set up healthy boundaries is going to be a massive undertaking and it would take years. People who have this disorder don't know what boundaries are and if it's bad enough, they might hit on the psychologist, regardless of their sexual orientation which raises a host of problems on their own. How can you set healthy boundaries if you don't respect the boundaries of the therapy session? See, with people who have HPD, being blunt about their sex life (both real and imaginary) is a way to get attention.

 

You bring up several excellent points! As I mentioned earlier, if a person doesn't GENUINELY want to change and/or is in denial, then the best psychologist in the world cannot help them! After all, a person like Whitney, who cannot be honest with herself or with her personal trainer or her fans, is not going to be honest with a therapist either.

As you probably already know, there are, sadly, many people out there who may be in therapy for YEARS, "talking the talk", but making absolutely no progress. Like you, I'm not saying this to be horrible or sound mean, but because it's true. Some people constantly lie to their therapist and the therapist may not realise this. Someone with HPD would be extremely likely to do that- trying to "impress" or even seduce their therapist. And again, not trying to be cruel, but some people actually enjoy being "sick", and the attention it brings them, and in an unhealthy way they want to have a role in their family or friendship group of being the person who everyone babies and makes excuses for. With some people like that it's a conscious resistance to wanting to heal, with others I think they do it unconsciously.

Speaking as someone for whom therapy has been very effective, I think it's VITAL to be as honest and self aware as you can otherwise you won't make progress. I believe that most people have the inner strength needed to heal themselves, and the therapist's job as the trained professional is to find the most effective way to help their client/patient tap into that strength. As you say, a good therapist wouldn't want their patient to become totally dependent on them. They would hope that eventually the patient would need to see them less or not at all. I am MASSIVELY, MASSIVELY grateful to my hypnotherapist who, in one 2 hour session, healed the neurophysical PTSD symptoms (such as over-sensitivity to noise and hypervigilance) that had been part of my life for the past 18 years. I will remember what she did for the rest of my life, however, I will only return to her as and when I notice problems I still need help with, and my aim is that one day I hopefully won't need any more hypnotherapy. Because my objective when seeing any kind of therapist is to get better. But for Whitney, I suspect she enjoys the opportunity to talk about herself endlessly!

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20 hours ago, Dot said:

I, too, would love that! One of the very best threads in this forum was started by a guy who had been a member of the audience when Twit gave a speech at ASU. He gave us all the jnfo about what really goes on at a taping of MBFFL. That's the kind of REAL reality I like.

Ooh! Please, tell me the title of that thread so I can search for it! I'm quite new to this forum so I haven't seen it.

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(edited)

Whitney wrote:

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But, I still wonder: what’s really important? What genuinely brings happiness and contentment?

Living life to the full. Making the most of every moment I can. Treating my mind and body the best I can, so that I can continue feeling fantastic inside and out. Creating art. Dancing. As in, moving my feet and actually dancing! Embracing life. Learning new things. Learning and growing from life's challenges and mistakes. Wonderful people and animals. Great music. This incredible planet. Empathy. Compassion. Love. Friendship. Gratitude. Winning fitness challenges. Feeling free to be one's authentic self. Laughter. Doing things just for the fun of it. Honesty. Good communication. Looking back on my past 38 years of life and knowing that while I'm not perfect and made many mistakes, I did the best I could, and successfully grew from a shy, bullied child into the confident person I am today WITHOUT being spoiled as a child, and surviving a stabbing along the way. Feeling thankful to the surgeon who saved my life and gave me a 2nd chance and to everyone else who has helped me along the journey no matter how small their contribution. Being aware of my own mortality, which makes me even more happy to be alive. Having a positive attitude. Feeling inspired by the amazing things other people have done.

Quote

I know now for sure what DOESN’T. It’s not Instagram followers, compliments from strangers, new clothes, more clothes, limousines to the airport, more money than you need, tv ratings, fancy events, name dropping, or fame.

If you really feel this way, then why do most of your social media posts revolve around those things you just mentioned?! And if you don't care about compliments then why do you constantly fish for them and Photoshop your selfies?!

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I find myself lonely, contemplating why everything and everyone seems so pointless, hungry, and vapid.

Because your Big Fat Fabulous Life is a shallow lie and you use food and Prozac to drown out your real feelings, and you've surrounded yourself with enablers and other fame chasers, and whenever people genuinely show concern and care for you, you are ungrateful.

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I’m sure I’ll be forever seeking what gives my life meaning

"Forever" won't be very long at all if you continue destroying your physical body.

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but some things I’m sure about are ...a clean house,

A clean house? A CLEAN HOUSE? This coming from someone who can't keep her poor cats' litters trays clean?!

Edited by ZumbaTiger
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45 minutes ago, ZumbaTiger said:

Ooh! Please, tell me the title of that thread so I can search for it! I'm quite new to this forum so I haven't seen it.

It's in S-3, ep 3 "Speechless." Look on the 2nd page for "Jeffro"; his initial comment is easy to find becuz it's pink since we all loved it. He also has a couple of shorter posts afterward.

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I was watching CinemaSins on YouTube and this video popped up in my suggested videos. I think this woman is basically this forum on film rather than in text. 

"At what point do you say stop?" 

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Thanks, @Littlez, I always enjoy a stroll down memory lane to watch my very favorite MBFFL segment, mainly cuz it's the only real moment in the entire "reality" show.

I recall seeing this woman's YouTube video a couple of years ago & was struck by her plaintive "when do you stop?" Twit has been conning herself -- and other people -- about her weight for so long that I think she now believes her own fiction about how it doesn't affect her health. "Fat athlete," my ass.

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3 hours ago, Dot said:

Thanks, @Littlez, I always enjoy a stroll down memory lane to watch my very favorite MBFFL segment, mainly cuz it's the only real moment in the entire "reality" show.

I recall seeing this woman's YouTube video a couple of years ago & was struck by her plaintive "when do you stop?" Twit has been conning herself -- and other people -- about her weight for so long that I think she now believes her own fiction about how it doesn't affect her health. "Fat athlete," my ass.

My turning point came when I was looking for new jeans and realised  I was a UK size 14 (US size 18) and the next size up was in the plus-size section. The possibility of going to a dedicated section of the shop was the wake-up call to start doing something. I'd been diagnosed with PCOS a year before, and I couldn't use it as an excuse to just eat rubbish all the time as it was going to start limiting what I was able to do, even if that limit was just the jeans I could buy. I bought scales for myself, scales for my food, a yoga mat and two workout DVDs and dropped 33lbs in six months. Not a lot, not that quickly, but it's possible. 

Whitney has been told she has pre-diabetes, and was sent to a cardiologist after passing out. She needed a friend to apply the chub rub cream as she couldn't get to her own inner thigh. She was trying on swimwear to go to the beach and said "I don't really have knees anymore." She had a moment in her car with the seat-belt only just fitting around her. She buys her clothes from places like Torrid who specialise in plus-size fashion. She was mentally ready to clock out of the 5k after walking less than a mile. She threw her back out in the shower (Buddy to the rescue!) and said it might have been to do with her weight, though in that moment she also said she was so big, she was unable to wrap a towel all the way round herself. 

If she does lose a significant amount of weight, she'll almost definitely need skin surgery to remove excess skin. Her body will begin to feel the impact of the extra weight, and will start to break down faster than it can heal. She is slowly killing herself with food, while claiming to be eating the correct portions of healthy foods (and not proving she actually is.) 

My biggest fear for her and her loved ones? She hasn't noticed. She hasn't made the connection, not really. Weight and health are linked, being underweight is risky and being overweight is risky. I think Whitney has a "it won't happen to me" mentality, and as she is still mobile, and still does recover from illness and injury, she has not truly grasped the consequences of her weight on her health. Babs and Glenn will bury their own child and Whitney hasn't realised it yet. She's already done herself some permanent damage as her skin is so stretched it'll need surgery if she does lose weight, yet she thinks it'll all be fine. 

The way things are going, the final episode of MBFFL will be her funeral. And Whitney has no idea. 

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I think the excess skin is a major reason Whitney doesn't want to lose weight.  (It's an incentive for me not to gain a lot of weight!)  If lost weight using intermittent fasting that might take care of a lot of it for her, but I don't think she has the willpower for it.

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1 hour ago, Brooks said:
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I think the excess skin is a major reason Whitney doesn't want to lose weight. 

 

I think you're right, given someone so vain that she photoshops her facial features. After losing 120 #s, I was Ieft with a lot of extra skin, mostly a huge panniculus & bat wings. But it's OK. Since I'm not a fashion model, I can live with the extra skin. I wasn't gonna live much longer with the extra fat.

The other consideration is her show; she seems  not to realize that a 200 # wgt loss would leave her still fat & fabulous but far healthier & mobile.

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2 hours ago, Dot said:

I think you're right, given someone so vain that she photoshops her facial features. After losing 120 #s, I was Ieft with a lot of extra skin, mostly a huge panniculus & bat wings. But it's OK. Since I'm not a fashion model, I can live with the extra skin. I wasn't gonna live much longer with the extra fat.

The other consideration is her show; she seems  not to realize that a 200 # wgt loss would leave her still fat & fabulous but far healthier & mobile.

Wow great job!  That takes alot of dedication.   Kadooze to you (as Ramona would say)

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4 hours ago, Dot said:

I think you're right, given someone so vain that she photoshops her facial features. After losing 120 #s, I was Ieft with a lot of extra skin, mostly a huge panniculus & bat wings. But it's OK. Since I'm not a fashion model, I can live with the extra skin. I wasn't gonna live much longer with the extra fat.

The other consideration is her show; she seems  not to realize that a 200 # wgt loss would leave her still fat & fabulous but far healthier & mobile.

(Bold is mine) If anything, it would make her / her life more fabulous as she would be able to do more due to being more mobile and having more stamina. Such a weight loss would also show she is able to lose weight and, more importantly, maintain the weight loss, giving hope / inspiration to other morbidly obese people, particularly women with PCOS. It would improve the show, thus boosting the ratings and her own paycheck. Oh, and she'll still be alive at the age of 45. But she wouldn't dare, that would be fat-shaming in her twisted mind. 

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9 hours ago, Dot said:

I think you're right, given someone so vain that she photoshops her facial features. After losing 120 #s, I was Ieft with a lot of extra skin, mostly a huge panniculus & bat wings. But it's OK. Since I'm not a fashion model, I can live with the extra skin. I wasn't gonna live much longer with the extra fat.

The other consideration is her show; she seems  not to realize that a 200 # wgt loss would leave her still fat & fabulous but far healthier & mobile.

Amazing and congratulations @Dot on losing 120lbs!!! Major accomplishment!  

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Oh boy, she’s pushing the cruise again!  She’s getting nervous that she may have to pay for her ticket!  At first, I thought it was a whale in the water! 

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It's so creepy that Glenn reads comments -- and frequently replies to fans --  in Twit's FB page. Just another example of how sick this father-daughter relationship appears to be.

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21 hours ago, Dot said:

I think you're right, given someone so vain that she photoshops her facial features. After losing 120 #s, I was Ieft with a lot of extra skin, mostly a huge panniculus & bat wings. But it's OK. Since I'm not a fashion model, I can live with the extra skin. I wasn't gonna live much longer with the extra fat.

The other consideration is her show; she seems  not to realize that a 200 # wgt loss would leave her still fat & fabulous but far healthier & mobile.

Dot, congratulations on such a huge weight loss! That must have taken a hell of a lot of grit. I just calculated that carrying 120 extra pounds would be the equivalent of if I (50kg) strapped on a pair of 2x 2.5kg ankle weights and made you carry me piggyback! Examples like yours are an inspiration to others, proving that the likes of Whitney have NO excuses!! Also, I loved the before and after photos of the lady that were posted on the previous page. It was such a dramatic transformation, but what stood out to me the most was her facial expression in the 'after' photo. Her eyes looked so ALIVE and she must have felt so much better!

About the loose skin, when I see people who have lost loads of weight but still have loose skin, my thoughts are that I'm glad they are still here and that they must have worked damn hard- the skin tells me how far that person has come, just like my scars are reminders that I survived my ordeal. Of course, it can't be fun to have all that loose skin, but in Whitney's case, if she one day decided to get her shit together and sought help from Dr.Now, it would be probably the most-watched 'My 600lb Life' episode in history, get huge ratings, and I am sure TLC would happily pay for surgery to remove the skin if Whitney successfully lost the weight. So if excess skin is putting Whitney off losing weight, again, it's not a valid excuse.

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Personally, I don't see Whit going through with weight loss surgery. It takes time and dedication to make that lifestyle change and Whit can't even be bothered to take photos of her food. That and Whit doesn't like anything that involves pain or sacrifice even when it could benefit her. For example, the Hawaii trip. Do the marathon and get a free trip to a tropical paradise. She didn't have to run, only finish it and before she sets off, she complains about foot problems that we've never heard about before and well, you saw how it ended. 

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On 6/1/2018 at 11:06 AM, Dot said:

I think you're right, given someone so vain that she photoshops her facial features. After losing 120 #s, I was Ieft with a lot of extra skin, mostly a huge panniculus & bat wings. But it's OK. Since I'm not a fashion model, I can live with the extra skin. I wasn't gonna live much longer with the extra fat.

The other consideration is her show; she seems  not to realize that a 200 # wgt loss would leave her still fat & fabulous but far healthier & mobile.

Yeah I lost 160 lbs and have extra skin. At some point I may have the skin removed from my abs, thighs, and upper arms. That is mostly because it can cause me problems with my sports (chafing and such) and not because I'm particularly vain about it. My man doesn't care about the extra skin, but he would dump me in a second if I got lazy and fat again.

Whitney is incredibly vain. Every photo is heavily edited or carefully curated.

I would be willing to bet that the reason this photo:

 

Doesn't involve an actual swimsuit is that Shitney knew there would be still photography and she's trying to hide the actual reality of her size.

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I'm looking forward to a show premiering Monday on AMC, WEtv & Sundance. It's called Dietland & is based on a book of the same name (which I'd never heard of & have ordered thru interlibrary loan).

Here's what Wikipedia says about the book:

"The novel follows Plum Kettle, a 300-pound ghostwriter for the advice column of popular teen magazine Daisy Chain. Plum fantasizes about being thin and after years of failed diet plans, schedules an appointment for weight loss surgery. While awaiting her surgery date, Plum finds herself recruited by an underground feminist cabal known as 'Calliope House'. Meanwhile, a guerrilla group known as 'Jennifer' begins carrying out increasingly violent acts of vigilante justice against those who mistreat women, and Plum soon finds herself at the center of a sinister plot."

It sounds like the kind of show MBFFL could have been if Twit were less self-absorbed & hypocritical.

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Twit has a FB call for local choreographers to help her out with hip-hop for a couple of weeks. Could there be yet another tedious dance battle on the schedule for S-6?

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11 hours ago, Dot said:

I'm looking forward to a show premiering Monday on AMC, WEtv & Sundance. It's called Dietland & is based on a book of the same name (which I'd never heard of & have ordered thru interlibrary loan).

Here's what Wikipedia says about the book:

"The novel follows Plum Kettle, a 300-pound ghostwriter for the advice column of popular teen magazine Daisy Chain. Plum fantasizes about being thin and after years of failed diet plans, schedules an appointment for weight loss surgery. While awaiting her surgery date, Plum finds herself recruited by an underground feminist cabal known as 'Calliope House'. Meanwhile, a guerrilla group known as 'Jennifer' begins carrying out increasingly violent acts of vigilante justice against those who mistreat women, and Plum soon finds herself at the center of a sinister plot."

It sounds like the kind of show MBFFL could have been if Twit were less self-absorbed & hypocritical.

Dietland is a great novel. Don't wait to read it. 

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Congratulations to you too, @cherenkov! I knew you were heavily into fitness and sports from your previous posts, but I didn't know you had lost so much weight. Correct me if I'm confusing you with another poster, but was it you a while back who received horrible negative comments on your healthy weight, like being called anorexic and someone insinuated your boyfriend was a "paedophile" for fancying you as a slim woman? If that was you, and now knowing that you have loose skin from weight loss, which must have been visible to those people, it makes what they said to you even more sick, hateful and disgusting!

I have noticed that some "fat activist" people have a pathological hatred of slim people who used to be obese- they hate people like you even more than they hate people like me, the "skinny bitches" who have always been slim. I believe this stems from extreme jealously and a "crabs in a bucket" mentality. They would never actually admit the truth, that they don't enjoy being fat but aren't mentally strong enough to get healthy, and seeing people who have successfully lost weight must drive them insane, because you prove their excuses and lies (eg. diets don't work, only 5% of people who lose weight keep it off long term, etc) are just bullshit. And even worse, sometimes they try to sabotage their so-called friends' efforts to lose weight and try and make them feel bad. They are toxic people!!

In contrast, my friend's wife, who has PCOS, joined a slimming club and met some wonderful women there, and several of them ended up being bridesmaids at her wedding. Those women were united in their efforts to lose weight and encouraged each other along the way.

And I don't think it's vain in a negative way to want to have loose skin removed. You are at a different stage of your life now and not that fat person any more. If you don't want to keep that excess skin for the rest of your life then you shouldn't have to. Negative vanity is when a person is conceited, shallow and fake and values looks above more important virtues. Rather like Whitney and her extreme Photoshopping! If she put the same amount of effort into getting healthier as she does in putting on her fake front to the world, she might have a visible jawline FOR REAL by now!!

She is like a person whose house is on fire, but instead of escaping and calling the fire brigade, runs around putting up expensive curtains in the windows!

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5 hours ago, ZumbaTiger said:

Congratulations to you too, @cherenkov! I knew you were heavily into fitness and sports from your previous posts, but I didn't know you had lost so much weight. Correct me if I'm confusing you with another poster, but was it you a while back who received horrible negative comments on your healthy weight, like being called anorexic and someone insinuated your boyfriend was a "paedophile" for fancying you as a slim woman? If that was you, and now knowing that you have loose skin from weight loss, which must have been visible to those people, it makes what they said to you even more sick, hateful and disgusting!

Yeah that was me. People have said all manner of mean things about me because I'm at a normal, healthy weight. The loose skin isn't all that visible with clothes on, so most people are totally unaware that I have it.

5 hours ago, ZumbaTiger said:

I have noticed that some "fat activist" people have a pathological hatred of slim people who used to be obese- they hate people like you even more than they hate people like me, the "skinny bitches" who have always been slim. I believe this stems from extreme jealously and a "crabs in a bucket" mentality. They would never actually admit the truth, that they don't enjoy being fat but aren't mentally strong enough to get healthy, and seeing people who have successfully lost weight must drive them insane, because you prove their excuses and lies (eg. diets don't work, only 5% of people who lose weight keep it off long term, etc) are just bullshit. And even worse, sometimes they try to sabotage their so-called friends' efforts to lose weight and try and make them feel bad. They are toxic people!!

I've been banned from certain people's Instagrams because of it.

5 hours ago, ZumbaTiger said:

Rather like Whitney and her extreme Photoshopping! If she put the same amount of effort into getting healthier as she does in putting on her fake front to the world, she might have a visible jawline FOR REAL by now!!

She is like a person whose house is on fire, but instead of escaping and calling the fire brigade, runs around putting up expensive curtains in the windows!

Hah, spot on. Her Instagram has been letting truth slip through though because there's really no way for her to hide how fat and unhealthy she is in the "work out" videos. Her trainer encouraging this is terrifying, and there are always all these responses about what an inspiration she is. The only comfort I have is that they're all keyboard-commandos who are doing nothing more than lifting cheetos and clicking like buttons.

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7 hours ago, ZumbaTiger said:

 

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I have noticed that some "fat activist" people have a pathological hatred of slim people who used to be obese-

Quote

She is like a person whose house is on fire, but instead of escaping and calling the fire brigade, runs around putting up expensive curtains in the windows!

I'm sure that's why chubby Ashley, who was Twit's pal in S-1, was traded off for Heather in the following seasons. Ashley began losing weight & Twit was refusing to. We only glimpsed Ashley a few times thereafter until S-5 when she regained weight with her pregnancy.

I love that analogy -- how apt!

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(edited)

@Dot I reckon you may be onto something with your observation about Whitney's friends! I think Whitney loved the fact that Nada was in worse physical condition than she was, so that she could feel superior, being the "slimmer" and "healthier" one of the two of them.  Also I remember that Whitney appeared to be uncomfortable and visibly envious around Heather when she first appeared on the show as Buddy's new girlfriend, but later on when Buddy and Heather's relationship deteriorated, all of a sudden Whitney seemed to enjoy  Heather's company a whole lot more, with long scenes dedicated to drawing out the breakup saga and Whitney playing the role of "agony aunt"!

I think Whitney feels threatened and inferior around slimmer women and also women who appear to be having successful relationships-they have the things she wants for herself. Then if she's in a situation where the friend is suffering, I think it boosts Whitney's self-esteem and she feels superior to her friend. 

@cherenkov, what kind of photos were you posting on your Instagram account? Before and after photos? Photos related to running or other activities? Or simply photos as you are now, that may have annoyed people who knew you when you were bigger? Whatever it was, it was really childish of those people to block you, and very revealing about their mental state! But good riddance to them- no one needs crabs in their life!

It is also EXTREMELY narcissistic for a person to take someone else losing weight as some kind of personal dig at them! But sadly it seems to happen a lot. I've posted a screenshot from the fat-activist blog "This Is Thin Privilege" that illustrates that kind of mentality perfectly. When I first heard about it I assumed it was a piss-take, but it isn't!

The irony is that if these people truly believed that fat was "fabulous", then they wouldn't be so "triggered" (I HATE how privileged people who don't know what PTSD is like have hijacked that word!!) or upset by seeing fit and slim people. 

Jealousy and envy ALWAYS say more about the person feeling those emotions than they do about the person they envy.

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Edited by ZumbaTiger
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21 minutes ago, ZumbaTiger said:

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Wow - I am speechless. That is the stupidest thing I've read in a long time. So her cousin worked her ass off (no pun intended) and lost 20 lbs and worked to get healthier but no one is allowed to congratulate her or tell her she looks good because her cousin who hasn't made any attempt to exercise or improve her diet is upset that she doesn't have the same results without the same effort???? WOW. The cousin's mother was right on. IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU!! Geez. What a horrendous person. 

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@ZumbaTiger they're mostly related to my running, cycling and lifting but there are a few photos of where I was versus where I am now. I've been banned from Whitney's IG for a long time because I once commented about CICO as the way in which weight loss happens regardless of what method someone uses to achieve CI < CO and her genetics couldn't handle it.

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1 hour ago, 3girlsforus said:

Wow - I am speechless. That is the stupidest thing I've read in a long time. So her cousin worked her ass off (no pun intended) and lost 20 lbs and worked to get healthier but no one is allowed to congratulate her or tell her she looks good because her cousin who hasn't made any attempt to exercise or improve her diet is upset that she doesn't have the same results without the same effort???? WOW. The cousin's mother was right on. IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU!! Geez. What a horrendous person. 

I couldn't have said it better. This woman's comment was so preposterous it could be the source for an SNL skit. Thanks for sharing it, @ZumbaTiger. I wouldn't have believed it possible for someone to be so defensive about her wgt if I hadn't read it for myself.

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I find this fascinating - truly. First - "seeing my slim cousin was already triggering enough." So was thin cousin supposed to stay home? Are all slim people supposed to stay inside forever so as to not trigger the author?

Second - why would the author automatically assume that slim cousin losing weight was "therefore being less like me?" What if slim cousin, instead of losing weight, were transgender and transitioning to the sex opposite of that of the author. Would the author also decide that was an attempt to be less like him/her? If the author had a PhD and slim cousin announced at grandma's dinner that he/she was dropping out of high school, would that also be an attempt to be less like the author?

Three - "No, it was about me." Actually - no. It started out about celebrating grandma's birthday. Then it was about slim cousin's diet and weight loss. I wish that more people would realize that probably about 90 percent of what they think about them actually isn't (myself included). Or if you're going to insist that it really is about you, could you maybe consider the possibility that you are the one who made it about you and not everyone around you?

Point four: "indirectly fueling fat phobia." Is that actually a thing? Not all fears are phobias. I was afraid of getting fat but I wasn't phobic about it. I kind of wish I was since I am not, fat by most definitions. It's not "fat phobic" to be thin, or to want to be thin, or to be attracted to thin people. 

Point five: "thin privilege." I was thin for some of my life and average sized for probably most of it. And now I'm fat. I had different perspectives on a lot of things at each of those stages including weight, body image, diet and exercise. Different perspectives aren't "privilege." They are differences of perspective. What you see depends on where you stand... and also how big you are (and what color you are, and how old you are, and how educated you are, and how wealthy you are, and on and on and on) while you stand there. 

As I see it, the author really has two choices - two that are wholly in his/her control. One - be happy as is. If he/she isn't currently happy, figure out how to get there. Therapy, strong friendships, a satisfying career, meaningful volunteer work - whatever. But find a way, because the alternative is remaining unhappy and who wants that? The second option is to change the thing that makes you unhappy - lose weight. Buy flattering clothes. Get a new hairstyle. Everything else is outside your control - including slim cousins showing up at grandma's birthday.

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21 minutes ago, 3girlsforus said:

Has Whitney ever used the term ‘thin privilege’? 

Not positive, but I think so. I know she likes to use "person of size" to describe herself & other fat women, which is just as stupid.

ETA: Oh, and she also says "plus women" instead of plus-sized, which also annoys me.

Edited by Dot
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On 6/3/2018 at 10:34 AM, cherenkov said:

Yeah I lost 160 lbs and have extra skin. At some point I may have the skin removed from my abs, thighs, and upper arms. That is mostly because it can cause me problems with my sports (chafing and such) and not because I'm particularly vain about it. My man doesn't care about the extra skin, but he would dump me in a second if I got lazy and fat again.

Whitney is incredibly vain. Every photo is heavily edited or carefully curated.

I would be willing to bet that the reason this photo:

 

Doesn't involve an actual swimsuit is that Shitney knew there would be still photography and she's trying to hide the actual reality of her size.

Wow!. I've lost 90 and still have 30-40 to go. My loose skin is primarily my "Yoo hoo Helen" wings, but that will probably change as I lose more.  And I'm old, so I don't really care about the loose skin anyway. 

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1 hour ago, Dot said:

Not positive, but I think so. I know she likes to use "person of size" to describe herself & other fat women, which is just as stupid.

ETA: Oh, and she also says "plus women" instead of plus-sized, which also annoys me.

All of these word games are just another form of denial.  

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I'm curious if anyone else out there has a similar view/definition of the word "fat".  In my opinion someone can be the same size as Twit but actively busting their ass to make positive lifestyle changes and I wouldn't consider that person fat despite being the same size.  I guess I view "fat" as more of the laziness and denial side of things rather than the person's physical size.  Does that make sense?  

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1 hour ago, Haleybug said:

I'm curious if anyone else out there has a similar view/definition of the word "fat".  In my opinion someone can be the same size as Twit but actively busting their ass to make positive lifestyle changes and I wouldn't consider that person fat despite being the same size.  I guess I view "fat" as more of the laziness and denial side of things rather than the person's physical size.  Does that make sense?  

Interesting observation. I'm the same weight (slightly over ideal by the BMI charts) as I was several years ago. With weights/cardio/pilates I would not call myself fat now. But years back and living lazy I would have (and did). But I don't for other people... overweight, obese, morbidly obese, super morbidly obese... medical terms seem okay, but "fat" does imply a personal failing. YMMV

Edited by amacmom
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13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I find this fascinating - truly. First - "seeing my slim cousin was already triggering enough." So was thin cousin supposed to stay home? Are all slim people supposed to stay inside forever so as to not trigger the author?

Second - why would the author automatically assume that slim cousin losing weight was "therefore being less like me?" What if slim cousin, instead of losing weight, were transgender and transitioning to the sex opposite of that of the author. Would the author also decide that was an attempt to be less like him/her? If the author had a PhD and slim cousin announced at grandma's dinner that he/she was dropping out of high school, would that also be an attempt to be less like the author?

Three - "No, it was about me." Actually - no. It started out about celebrating grandma's birthday. Then it was about slim cousin's diet and weight loss. I wish that more people would realize that probably about 90 percent of what they think about them actually isn't (myself included). Or if you're going to insist that it really is about you, could you maybe consider the possibility that you are the one who made it about you and not everyone around you?

Point four: "indirectly fueling fat phobia." Is that actually a thing? Not all fears are phobias. I was afraid of getting fat but I wasn't phobic about it. I kind of wish I was since I am not, fat by most definitions. It's not "fat phobic" to be thin, or to want to be thin, or to be attracted to thin people. 

Point five: "thin privilege." I was thin for some of my life and average sized for probably most of it. And now I'm fat. I had different perspectives on a lot of things at each of those stages including weight, body image, diet and exercise. Different perspectives aren't "privilege." They are differences of perspective. What you see depends on where you stand... and also how big you are (and what color you are, and how old you are, and how educated you are, and how wealthy you are, and on and on and on) while you stand there. 

As I see it, the author really has two choices - two that are wholly in his/her control. One - be happy as is. If he/she isn't currently happy, figure out how to get there. Therapy, strong friendships, a satisfying career, meaningful volunteer work - whatever. But find a way, because the alternative is remaining unhappy and who wants that? The second option is to change the thing that makes you unhappy - lose weight. Buy flattering clothes. Get a new hairstyle. Everything else is outside your control - including slim cousins showing up at grandma's birthday.

Great breakdown, @Elizzikra!

I am assuming that when the author used the term 'fatphobia', she meant it in a similar context to the term homophobia, to describe a hatred, rather than a literal phobia, of fat people. I don't deny that fat people do get bullied and picked on, but it pisses me off when fat activists make out that "fatphobia" is as bad as homophobia, or racism (as @DOT points out, Whitney has hijacked the terminology of people who truly are oppressed, describing herself as a 'person of size' which is ripped off the term 'person of colour'.) First of all, there is nothing wrong with being gay, or black, or any other ethnic minority, and people don't choose their colour or sexual orientation, but obesity is a damaging, self-inflicted lifestyle choice. Secondly, it's disgusting for fat activists to make out that they are "oppressed". In no country in the world can you go to prison for being fat, fat people were never enslaved, or victims of genocide, and as far as I know, nobody ever walked into a nightclub for plus-sized people and planted a nail bomb, or massacred them a with gun. Neither are fat people more likely to be shot by police for doing nothing wrong.

Another thing that stood out to me about that ridiculous blog post was how the author spoiled her grandmother's party. It reminded me a bit of how when the Thore family were in Hawaii and Whitney's parents were having a special anniversary meal, Whitney COMPLETELY killed the vibe of their occasion to moan to her father (yet again) about being bribed to walk the 8K, and made the evening all about her. If I'm at a party and get upset about something, instead of making a scene and spoiling the happy occasion, I will either put on a happy face for those few hours, or, if I can't manage that, make an excuse and discretely remove myself from the situation. There will always be an opportunity at a later date to approach the person who upset me one to one and tell them "I didn't say anything at the time as I didn't want to spoil the evening, but I have to tell you I was hurt by something you said at the party and I'd like to talk about it now."

And @cherenkov, keep up your positive and inspiring Instagram posts- they will help people who really want to change and that's always worth it, no matter what the crabs say!

Edited by ZumbaTiger
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Whitney has hijacked the terminology of people who truly are oppressed

I think a lot of people have. The other thing that drives me nuts is the incredible overuse of the term "triggered." The author states he/she was "triggered." In that - he/she got upset. That's NOT being triggered - that's being human and having emotions, which means you aren't going to be 100 percent happy all the time. It's offensive, IMO, to people who have experienced genuine trauma, for whom actual triggers cause debilitating effects, to hear someone use the term "trigger" for anything that makes them feel bad.

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On 5/29/2018 at 4:41 PM, Dot said:

So, to modify my Q to @ChessDiva19: Can a qualified therapist help Twit overcome this ONE HPD characteristic? Can she be made to understand that nibbling Tal's tit, forcing him to straddle & kiss her, posing in the nude with him is not appropriate?  Can she be made to understand that grabbbing Heather's breast & lolling all over Donna or Alison is not apprpriate?

Or tongue kissing her cat? Or any cat?

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16 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

 It's not "fat phobic" to be thin, or to want to be thin, or to be attracted to thin people. 
 

News flash to the world: I DON'T WANT TO BE FAT.  That's why I take care of my diet and exercise and overall health to prevent this from happening. I work out hard to stay in shape, it's not a privilege, it's work.  Does this mean I hate fat people? Absolutely not. It means I love myself.

Edited by Emma C
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News flash to the world: I DON'T WANT TO BE FAT.

I don't want to be fat either but I am. I'm also not unhappy. When I become sufficiently unhappy about being fat, I will do something about it - when the unhappy outweighs (pun semi-intended) my lack of desire to be more careful about diet and less exercise-averse. I don't hate other fat people. I don't hate thin people either. And I don't expect anyone to tiptoe around me when it comes to topics even tangentially related to diet, exercise, weight loss, etc.

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I'm pretty sure that Whitney was chiding Todd for his 'thin privilege' when they had their fight in New York.  I took this from https://people.com/bodies/whitney-way-thore-criticism-because-im-fat/

“Do you know how much stuff I don’t get because I’m fat? Like basic respect? From anybody who sees me on the street that I don’t get because I’m fat?” Thore says in an interview. “Do you ever think about all the stuff you get that you take for granted that you inherently get because you walk around this world in a perfect f—— body that I don’t get? So let me have one thing, because I’m fat.”

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19 hours ago, Haleybug said:

I'm curious if anyone else out there has a similar view/definition of the word "fat".  In my opinion someone can be the same size as Twit but actively busting their ass to make positive lifestyle changes and I wouldn't consider that person fat despite being the same size.  I guess I view "fat" as more of the laziness and denial side of things rather than the person's physical size.  Does that make sense?  

I guess it depends on what you mean. Do you mean that people who are fat/overweight are inherently lazy unless they show you they are working to lose weight or do you mean that when someone uses the word "fat" vs. overweight or obese they are adding the characteristic of lazy to that person, not just overweight.  If you mean the latter, then yes, I think often the word fat is chosen to convey a lazy and slovenly attitude in addition to excess weight. But just because a person is overweight doesn't make them lazy, even if they aren't currently working hard to lose weight. People gain weight for a myriad of reasons that are not laziness and gluttony. Of course I am talking about people who are overweight, not morbidly obese.  When you are talking about someone Whitney's size (or bigger) there is almost always a gluttony/laziness component even if the weight gain started with something that would cause other people to gain weight on a much smaller scale (no pun intended) 

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I'm curious if anyone else out there has a similar view/definition of the word "fat".  In my opinion someone can be the same size as Twit but actively busting their ass to make positive lifestyle changes and I wouldn't consider that person fat despite being the same size.  I guess I view "fat" as more of the laziness and denial side of things rather than the person's physical size.  Does that make sense?  

I don't really love the word "fat" though I use it to describe myself. I use it interchangeably with "overweight." For me, it's a somewhat vague term - fat could be "20 pounds overweight" or it could be "200 pounds" overweight. I don't use it to connote laziness or gluttony; it's just a physical descriptor. I'm fat. I'm not lazy. I'm not a glutton. I just ate more calories than I burned and I gained weight. Now I eat about as many calories as I burn (my weight is high, but stable). Fat is how I look but it's not who I am. Fat is a physical flaw; it's not a character flaw.

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3 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

do you mean that when someone uses the word "fat" vs. overweight or obese they are adding the characteristic of lazy to that person, not just overweight.

Definitely the latter.  I couldn't really put it into words but you said it pretty perfectly.  When I see someone overweight I don't generally just assume they're lazy (due to all the variables that go into being overweight), I don't usually think much about it unless I know what's going on.  I tend to lean toward using the term "overweight" versus "fat" unless I know for a fact they are lazy and/or have an unhealthy lifestyle (Twit).  If someone has an actual health condition or is actively making changes I would never refer to them as fat.  If I see a stranger who is morbidly obese I obviously don't know their situation so I don't spend time thinking about it or applying either word to them.  So yeah, I guess to me lazy/slovenly = fat but I definitely don't assume overweight = lazy.  I wish I was better with words.  Thank you for breaking down what I was unable to articulate!   

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1 minute ago, Haleybug said:

Definitely the latter.  I couldn't really put it into words but you said it pretty perfectly.  When I see someone overweight I don't generally just assume they're lazy (due to all the variables that go into being overweight), I don't usually think much about it unless I know what's going on.  I tend to lean toward using the term "overweight" versus "fat" unless I know for a fact they are lazy and/or have an unhealthy lifestyle (Twit).  If someone has an actual health condition or is actively making changes I would never refer to them as fat.  If I see a stranger who is morbidly obese I obviously don't know their situation so I don't spend time thinking about it or applying either word to them.  So yeah, I guess to me lazy/slovenly = fat but I definitely don't assume overweight = lazy.  I wish I was better with words.  Thank you for breaking down what I was unable to articulate!   

People can be overweight and very fit. That, in fact, is why BMI and height/weight charts are not necessarily a good measurement tool. 

Person A.... 5'8" tall 180#, 35% body fat. Person B, 5'8" tall, 180#, 20% body fat. One is fit, one is fat.

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