S06.E13: Courting

[Primetimer]

Technically Joe's the one on trial, but his pain and peril are overshadowed by Donna's.

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[Primetimer]

We've collected the most important imagery from 'Courting'!

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[Megan in Seattle]

God bless Rex. You know that, one day, a senior man in his union said, "Rex, with your rotator cuff injury and frozen shoulder syndrome, you could go on disability. I know someone who can get you an off-the-books security job--just sitting on a gate all day. No more early mornings and late nights. It's a gift, this shoulder thing!"

But Rex said, "No way, man! These kids need to know that I'm there for them!"

[TeeVee329]

I wish I could say it's unbelievable that Kelly reacts to Valerie being able to provide clear, first-hand evidence that will prove her best friend since kindergarten was in fact being abused by her boyfriend by being A Bitch About It, but it's Kelly, it's totally believable.

Kelly is the worst.  START SNORTING LINES THIS SECOND!

[MerBearStare]

I'm going to defend Kelly and Brandon, which I know is controversial, but I think they are right(-ish) in this situation. All Val saw was a hug and then she assumed the rest. And her assumptions were wrong. I don't think she should have used this to mess with Brandon because 1.) they're supposed to be friends and 2.) she's living in his parents' house. Kind of awkward to do this to someone who you have to see everyday. Now, if it looked like Kelly cheated with someone else, go ahead and tell Colin (but I still think Kelly has a right to be salty about it in that situation), but in trying to mess with Kelly, she's also hurting her roommate and close friend. Val's plans to fuck with Kelly always seem either only half thought out or will clearly bite her in the ass, but she's always so focused on messing with Kelly that she can't see that.

Edited March 23, 2017 by MerBearStare

[kfree9]

David's court outfit is the worst. Look how long those sleeves are! Kelly's terrible hair and eyebrow combo is making it difficult to look at her.

[desertflower]

55 minutes ago, kfree9 said:

David's court outfit is the worst. Look how long those sleeves are! Kelly's terrible hair and eyebrow combo is making it difficult to look at her.

David's outfit looks like the huge suit David Byrne from Talking Heads used to wear.

[ZeroDiscipline]

Kelly's hair, man! This always happens with her! She has a decent cut and then she starts messing with it. This time, that Carol Brady flippy in the back is murdering her whole look. The sides would not seem too short if not for the back. I am really looking forward to her letting her hair grow out a bit whilst she binges on nose cocaine.

[Earmuffs Mom]

I can see your point, but when Brandon comes braying in at Val and doesn't exactly deny what happened, then threatens her, I don't think Val was unreasonable to keep believing she saw something more than what really transpired.  If Brandon said outright that nothing happened, I think Val would have listened to him and shut her mouth.  However, Brandon felt sufficiently guilty about "nothing" that he confessed to Susan when he didn't have to and was still pissy with Susan when she got mad at him.  

[Silly Angel]

Kelly, bitchfacily: "Donna's going to be humiliated!" (Not, "Oh my god, my dearest, oldest friend was being ABUSED by this monster!")
Brandon, brayfacily: "Well, for Joe's sake, let's hope [the judge] allows it." (Not, "But I hope bringing this shitbird's abuse to light will free Donna and perhaps save women in the future from getting the same treatment. Because she's the one I care about, not No-Future Joe.")

GAWD, people.

Was Erin supposed to be...slow? That weird way of speaking, derpy facial expressions, touched-in-the-head reaction times, and the fact that she drops or spills everything in sight do not add up to a portrait of a child in the process of healthy development. The Taylor-Silvers should trade her in for that cute picture Colin painted in his one and only redeemable moment on the series.

[maxineofarc]

It is VERY hard for me to get with the "Joe might never play football HOW AWFUL" storyline that Brandon is trying to sling here, given... oh, given so many things. Among SO MANY things, if he were that hot a prospect, no college would care about some stupid misdemeanor fighting charge.

I agree Val should for once just mind her own business in this matter, but I commend her on her restraint for not laughing when Kelly attempted to threaten her with karmic justice in that awful smug baby voice.

[TeeVee329]

It's weird thinking about Erin growing up to be Jessica Stroup.

[WoodyCee]

Kelly's hair, man! This always happens with her! She has a decent cut and then she starts messing with it. This time, that Carol Brady flippy in the back is murdering her whole look. The sides would not seem too short if not for the back. I am really looking forward to her letting her hair grow out a bit whilst she binges on nose cocaine.

Her coke whore look is the hottest she looks the whole show.

[ZeroDiscipline]

Oh Caroline McWilliams, this show didn't deserve your perfect LuAnn. She was a really great actress, she was on so much stuff in the 80s. Did you know she was married to Michael Keaton, and is the mother of his smoking hot son from the Oscars a few years ago? RIP Caroline McWilliams, I loved you on Benson and Soap and everything else. Even this.

[mskyle]

OK, so did Kelly and Colin take Erin to the doctor or anything? After she drowned and wasn't breathing for a couple of minutes, and after Colin did chest compressions (which would probably have left her pretty freaking bruised if he was doing it right)?

SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS FROM ASPHYXIA! YOU DON'T HANG UP THE PHONE ON 911 JUST BECAUSE SHE COUGHED A COUPLE OF TIMES!

[Petunia13]

Kelly and Donna's hair in those visual aides made my eyes cringe. 

[ZeroDiscipline]

1 hour ago, mskyle said:

OK, so did Kelly and Colin take Erin to the doctor or anything? After she drowned and wasn't breathing for a couple of minutes, and after Colin did chest compressions (which would probably have left her pretty freaking bruised if he was doing it right)?

SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS FROM ASPHYXIA! YOU DON'T HANG UP THE PHONE ON 911 JUST BECAUSE SHE COUGHED A COUPLE OF TIMES!

All these years later, this still bothers me to no end.  They definitely should have called the paramedics and had her examined. You almost drowned your sister in the most basic way. She was revived via CPR. And that's it? Are you going to at least call Jackie and tell her what happened? Kelly hardly ever has to suffer any consequences.

[luckyroll3]

6 hours ago, mskyle said:

OK, so did Kelly and Colin take Erin to the doctor or anything? After she drowned and wasn't breathing for a couple of minutes, and after Colin did chest compressions (which would probably have left her pretty freaking bruised if he was doing it right)?

SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS FROM ASPHYXIA! YOU DON'T HANG UP THE PHONE ON 911 JUST BECAUSE SHE COUGHED A COUPLE OF TIMES!

 

4 hours ago, ZeroDiscipline said:

All these years later, this still bothers me to no end.  They definitely should have called the paramedics and had her examined. You almost drowned your sister in the most basic way. She was revived via CPR. And that's it? Are you going to at least call Jackie and tell her what happened? Kelly hardly ever has to suffer any consequences.

Exactly!  She needed to be taken to a doctor to make sure she had no injuries from the drowning, lack of oxygen, and/or CPR.  And thanks to the show The Affair, we now know that it's especially important to take children in drowning accidents to the hospital to be monitored in case the cells in their lungs are too waterlogged.  But Kelly always knows best.

[bilgistic]

9 hours ago, ZeroDiscipline said:

I am really looking forward to her letting her hair grow out a bit whilst she binges on nose cocaine.

As opposed to ear cocaine.

[Lea]

Why why why doesn't Brandon know the difference between a newspaper article and a Doogie Howser (M.D.) journal entry?

[CurlyATX]

10 hours ago, Lea said:

Why why why doesn't Brandon know the difference between a newspaper article and a Doogie Howser (M.D.) journal entry?

This almost made me spit tea all over my computer screen.  I can still see that weird blinky cursor for Doogie as he spewed his words of wisdom.  I know nothing about newspaper writing, but Brandon's article doesn't seem like anything that any AP source would pick up.  Don't they actually just run articles that are fact-based?

[CurlyATX]

I feel like anytime this how does courtroom it's especially awful.  I'm a bit confused about the situation... so Ray goes and stalks Donna that night, gets in the fight with Joe.  He then goes to the hospital and files a police report?  At the time he didn't know for sure that Joe and Donna would be an item and that this assault could be used as a blackmail weapon.  If so, he's really forward thinking?  And does the prosecutors have no other cases that they are just waiting for any random sprain to jump on? It would be one thing if the broke his "guitar arm" or something. 

As for Kelly/Brandon, sadly, I have to say that I think Val should have just left it alone.  It could have been excellent blackmail fodder, but it needs to ripen.  You don't go running over the next day.  I really wish that there was a crossover storyline where Amanda Woodward was serving as a mentor for the "women in business" student chapter of CU and was paired up with Valerie.  Amanda would have taught her the ropes and the two of them could have been unstoppable.

[AndySmith]

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I really wish that there was a crossover storyline where Amanda Woodward was serving as a mentor for the "women in business" student chapter of CU and was paired up with Valerie.  Amanda would have taught her the ropes and the two of them could have been unstoppable.

Or have Val intern at D&D during a spring break...

[Klaw]

29 minutes ago, AndySmith said:

Quote

I really wish that there was a crossover storyline where Amanda Woodward was serving as a mentor for the "women in business" student chapter of CU and was paired up with Valerie.  Amanda would have taught her the ropes and the two of them could have been unstoppable.

Or have Val intern at D&D during a spring break...

Oh man. How I wish this had happened! Such a missed opportunity. For the Schemiest Schemester who ever schemed, Val sure does fall down sometimes when she gets things handed to her. And she's alternately portrayed as Amanda Woodward Jr. (taking her money from Jonesy and buying the PPAD, for example or her elaborate faux framing Ray plan with Ginger) to, well a dope, (see, losing all her money by handing it over to an obvious grifter (Parker Lewis) all in order to mess with Kelly). So dumb. Pick a lane show. Again, we keep saying this but if Val truly was this pretty, successful, nightclub owner and business student (with the best boobs Lol!) she would have guys (and girls alike) crawling all over her to either befriend her or date her. Why they keep portraying her as the loser/black sheep of the gang is just so beyond unrealistic.

Was the point of Erin to persuade GenXers not to have kids? 'Cause, man that little girl was annoying, even by kid standards! And 4 brothers and that's the best Colin could do?! 

Re: Joe and Joe's mom, stop fluffing fucking Donna. The whole "it's not your fault" "you told the truth" , etc. is so lame. Somehow Joe facing a freaking assault charge is all about fucking Donna's pain. STFU, Donna.

Agree about the way these lawyers talk to Donna. Donna's a grown ass woman but because she's a virgin she needs to be treated like a grade schooler? What the hell, show? How messed up about female sexuality are these writers, anyway? Wait... don't answer that..   I'm a lawyer and granted when I was a litigator I worked on civil, not criminal, cases, so all my clients were adults but I cannot see any scenario in which I would talk to someone who wasn't, say, under 10 years old or who didn't suffer from a cognitive disorder, in such an infantile way. It is condescending at best and insulting (their intelligence and mine) at worst. One more time: STFU Donna.

I haven't seen the list, but has anyone suggested a challenge where we can list 5 ways the show bent reality in order to canonize Kelly and/or Donna? I figure it happens at least 5 times each show in these later seasons. ...

[allicatexp]

My sig other and I were talking and think that we really can't blame Rex. With all this stupid baby talk/whisper line delivery no wonder the boom mic is in every shot. We'd never hear anything...good job Rex.  Pop is running season 8 and the Donna whisper delivery is unbearable.

[allicatexp]

Another thing that has always annoyed me is that they all refer to Kelly and Donna's home as the "beach apartment". Ummm no one else on the show ever lived in an apartment so why put the word beach in front of it? Were the writers afraid that we would forget the geography? It just was so pretentious.

[AndySmith]

Andrea and Jesse did. Though they're gone now, so I guess it doesn't make sense for them to call it that now, I suppose...

[Cekrypton1]

It's amazing that in all the time Brandon has been "writing" he's never been able to move past sounding like the Narrator from "Our Town."

[Jax7917]

I understand young kids are not gonna be the best actors  , but for goodness sake , the girl that played Erin was horrendous . She sounded possessed and had no facial expression. I've seen shows / movies with good and believable child actors so they're out there . But sheesh this wasn't one of them 

[txhorns79]

So Erin tried to kill herself to get away from Kelly, right?  Accidental drowning my foot.   

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I agree Val should for once just mind her own business in this matter,

I felt like this was one of those game plans that Val didn't really think through.  As much as I hate to say it, Kelly was right.  Val was supposed to like Brandon.  Is she so desperate to try to hurt Kelly that she'll take him down too? 

[Klaw]

ITA with everyone who grudgingly thinks Kelly was right in this instance. BUT I do still have to say, that Kelly and Brandon totally lied to Colin and Susan (and Val, frankly) because something DID happen between them that night and just because they didn't have sex it doesn't mean they both weren't totally sketch. I mean, if I found out that Mr. Klaw spent the night with his ex girlfriend and basically the only reason he didn't cheat on me was because (1) she locked her door and (2) he's such "a good guy" he did the "honourable thing" (BARF).  Bitch, please. We would be having, um, a discussion, y'hear me? And there's no way I would be fucking apologizing a la Susan for "overreacting."  Plus all their discussion around it - are you kidding me? If nothing at all happened, why not tell your significant others about it from the jump. Not mentioning it makes you look like you do have something to hide. 

Maybe I'm too sensitive or something, but I sure as fuck would consider it a betrayal if Mr. Klaw spent the day discussing with his ex whether or not he would cheat on me.  So I just hated how they had Kelly and Brandon basically pat themselves on the damn back for not stepping out and then blasting Val, Colin and Susan about their suspicions as if said suspicions are so crazy given the aforementioned sketch activity. GAH those two.