S05.E11: James K's Story

[Anchorabu]

26 minutes ago, Dru Blood said:

I am surprised he doesn't require Lisa to pre-chew his food and spit it right into his mouth!  Because it is "what hee wahnnnts!"

Haha!! ? ? 

If he's reading this that may have given him ideas ?

Ow, mah jaw!

Edited March 28, 2017 by Anchorabu

[gardendiva]

I never paid much attention to the opening credits of this show, but after seeing James' episode, whenever his "Ow! Muh laygs!" segment appears in the opening, it will be like nails on a chalkboard for me. That exclamation coming out of his mouth is a symbol for every destructive thing he has done to his body, all the ways he has abused those trying to help him, and his complete unwillingness to endure any kind of physical discomfort.

Those three words pretty much sum up his wasted life.

[islandgal140]

I feel like singing a rendition of the Lambchop song:

This is the thread that doesn't end

Yes it goes on and on my friend

Goodness bless anyone who has been able to watch this 3, 4, 6(what the what) times. I managed 2 and in doing so realized that I should've known James wasn't about shit when during the whole trying to get transport down to Texas he abandoned his diet saying what was the point of dieting if he couldn't get down to TX. Um... weight loss fool!  He really expected Dr. Now to break out a magic wand and make it all better. 

I was also really reminded of the show Intervention. Really I just thought everything Jeff VanDonderen every said was applicable. In particular "When their problem becomes their problem, the odds go up that they'll get better." If people refused to bring him bad food, wipe his ass, change his shitty sheets and pads, empty piss bags, wash him, and just generally be at his beg and call, I bet his ass would be more inclined to lose weight - hell he would be forced to. Changes in his case required discomfort. James K loved the life he lives and was/is unwilling to be uncomfortable for even a moment as witnessed by trying to move his ass just to wipe it, let alone move it cross country. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Lisa and Bayley need whatever the Al-Anon version of aiding a morbidly obese person. I really wish Lisa and Bayley would adopt this quote: "The bottom line message of an intervention is 'There is nothing we won't do to help you get better. But there is nothing more we will do to help this continue anymore. We're done."

[Tabbygirl521]

James K's family DOES love him like crazy, emphasis on CRAZY. 

[Ocean Chick]

1 hour ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

James K's family DOES love him like crazy, emphasis on CRAZY.    him to death.

Fixed that for ya! 

[aliya]

2 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

Goodness bless anyone who has been able to watch this 3, 4, 6(what the what) times. I managed 2 and in doing so realized that I should've known James wasn't about shit when during the whole trying to get transport down to Texas he abandoned his diet saying what was the point of dieting if he couldn't get down to TX. Um... weight loss fool!  He really expected Dr. Now to break out a magic wand and make it all better. 

I can't believe I've listened to this mess at work. Twice. When you listen and don't watch (hey, I'm supposed to be working...) the voices just grate on you like crazy. Lisa's half dead tone, excusing everything she does. James' whining and yelling at people who are helping him. These are people you can't help but dislike, even when you don't see them (I'm torn with Lisa. She's obviously beaten down, but Greyhound runs every day. If you want me to be sympathetic, take Bayley and get out.).

This is where I want to smack people... Do not lay up in bed moaning, "I wish I could get out of this bed." or "It's not fair that other people get to do things I can't do." James actually sounded angry that he couldn't leave the bed after his father got sick. Dude, you weren't in a car crash. You don't have some degenerative disease or condition.  You ate yourself to this state. If you wanted to walk, you'd have taken matters in hand when you were 3-400 pounds. Don't complain to me that there's stuff you can't do when you've brought this on yourself.

TLC hit pay dirt with this one. I might even pay $1.99 on amazon video so I can have a version with good sound and picture, compared to the terrible versions (to avoid copyright issues) on YT.

[MrsClaus]

In the beginning, if James thought Dr. Now's diet was to restrictive all he needed to do to lose weight was to eat half of whatever Lisa brought him to eat.

[AdorkableWitch]

4 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

 

Lisa and Bayley need whatever the Al-Anon version of aiding a morbidly obese person. I really wish Lisa and Bayley would adopt this quote: "The bottom line message of an intervention is 'There is nothing we won't do to help you get better. But there is nothing more we will do to help this continue anymore. We're done."

Al-anon serves families of all addicts including food. 

[Otter]

Pretty clear that we all are "frustrated" with James.  What a piece of work.  I've watched the episode 6 times now.  Sorry, not sorry.  And it's on again tomorrow and I'll watch again.  If there's an update, I bet it would be like Penny's ... not helping himself and happy in his bed laying in his pee and poop.  I don't thing I have friends who would come over and roll me over to clean me up.  Lisa has good friends from reading her FB, and that's good.  Wonder how many have tried to break this bond and talk some sense into her.  But where would she go?  Someone would take her in.  And someone would help her poison his food too.  There would be no autopsy.  
 

[55Unicorns]

Re-watching James...don't know why I do this to myself...GRRRR....

[55Unicorns]

On 3/27/2017 at 7:52 PM, swankie said:

We have some pretty terrible choices here in Kentucky also!  Krispy Kreme Donut burgers.  These donuts alone are pure sugar so someone decided to load burgers, bacon and cheese between them.  An artery's nightmare!  LOL!

Good God, a heart attack in a bag!

[DC Gal in VA]

4 minutes ago, 55Unicorns said:

Re-watching James...don't know why I do this to myself...GRRRR....

Hahahaha 55Unicorns, I was just about to post the same thing, that's he's on again right now. Funny, there so many grotesque details about this man that it seems one learns something new with every viewing. I just "happened" to click on TLC, tee hee, and there he was. I don't think I'll re-watch all of it again right now.

However, in the few minutes I just saw, I noted two things I really didn't notice in previous viewings. One, he said that when he wakes up, all he wants is his biscuits, eggs, and sausage smothered in gravy, that he eats that EVERY SINGLE DAY! Which leads to the second thing. Lisa and Bayley kept asking him exactly how much and how to prepare each step of the meal: how many biscuits, how much sausage, and he would "instruct" them (crumble the biscuits, lots of gravy over everything, etc.), and not in a nice way.

What struck me as weird was, how the Hell do you anxiously crave the same damn meal for breakfast every day AND why all of the detailed back and forth to make the exact same meal every day?

Weird.

[Thriftykins]

47 minutes ago, DC Gal in VA said:

What struck me as weird was, how the Hell do you anxiously crave the same damn meal for breakfast every day AND why all of the detailed back and forth to make the exact same meal every day?

Well, when you find what works, you stick with it.  I go through periods where I insatiably crave the same foods over and over, with no variety.

[LuciaMia]

I think one of the funnier things he says, during the Chinese food scene is "My next appointment is coming up with the doctor, but I don't think I can g o,  Ive got too much going on right now." 

Going on?  What could that possibly be??

[Lizzie Jones]

I often have cream of wheat and eggs in the morning. However I eat 2 eggs and a packet of cream of wheat. Then I have a cup of tea and I'm done.

[Aw my lahgs]

1 minute ago, LuciaMia said:

I think one of the funnier things he says, during the Chinese food scene is "My next appointment is coming up with the doctor, but I don't think I can g o,  Ive got too much going on right now." 

Going on?  What could that possibly be??

He's too busy laying in bed!

[Aunt Chilada]

"Now is not a good time to leave my family...". Really?  Whatcha got going there, James?  OY...

[Ocean Chick]

34 minutes ago, Michael Stabosz said:

Well, when you find what works, you stick with it.  I go through periods where I insatiably crave the same foods over and over, with no variety.

Which is fine, if that works for you.  But why would Lisa and Bayley need step by step instructions on how to prepare food that they prepare Every.  Single.  Day?  They would know by now that he requires 6 eggs and 6 sausages and 6 biscuits, crumbled.  With LOTS of gravy over everything.

[DC Gal in VA]

48 minutes ago, Michael Stabosz said:

Well, when you find what works, you stick with it.  I go through periods where I insatiably crave the same foods over and over, with no variety.

Yeah, I get that, and I have my own true confession. This past Thanksgiving I made a pretty traditional Thanksgiving, all the usual suspects including homemade cranberry sauce. Well, after Thanksgiving, I always look forward to "The Sammich" as I call it: potato bread, perhaps lightly toasted, real, full fat mayo both sides, leftover turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. No lettuce and tomatoes, please. Heh heh, I ate FIVE of those bad boys in about a week or so!

I guess I understand being a creature of habit--once knew a guy who ate so much delivery pizza he constantly qualified for multiple free pizzas. What I just can't wrap my head around is craving the same meal seven days a week as James said. I mean, I love my Thanksgiving "Sammich" but there's no way I'd still be eating it in March, LOL!

As you said about yourself, you go through periods of craving certain foods, but not day in and day out.

James reminds me of all these 600+ pounders in their--as Dr. Now would say--"mind boggling" capacity to not only eat but crave the same crappy food over and over and over again, with most of them eating their meals from the exact same fast food joints.

At least James' meal was homemade. Uh oh, did I just say something positive about him and his family? Yikes!!!

Edited March 29, 2017 by DC Gal in VA
To add additional comments.

[okerry]

34 minutes ago, Ocean Chick said:

Which is fine, if that works for you.  But why would Lisa and Bayley need step by step instructions on how to prepare food that they prepare Every.  Single.  Day?  They would know by now that he requires 6 eggs and 6 sausages and 6 biscuits, crumbled.  With LOTS of gravy over everything.

They don't. That was recreated for the cameras, so WE would know what they do every day.

[Anchorabu]

58 minutes ago, Ocean Chick said:

1 hour ago, Michael Stabosz said:

 

Which is fine, if that works for you.  But why would Lisa and Bayley need step by step instructions on how to prepare food that they prepare Every.  Single.  Day?  They would know by now that he requires 6 eggs and 6 sausages and 6 biscuits, crumbled.  With LOTS of gravy over everything.

Hmmm I wonder if all that discussion was for the camera? Maybe the producers told them to do it so we can fully know the numbers of exactly how much he's stuffing in his pie-hole every day, and how he's such a controlling jerk about every facet of his food consumption.

Edit:  Or, what Okerry said! ?

Edited March 29, 2017 by Anchorabu

[Otter]

Watching again for probably the 7th time right now.  Lisa was lamenting her life and if James ever walks again that she'll leave, but she feels trapped until then.  This was right before she went to sleep on the floor.  :(  Anyway, reading her FB, she posted that they'll be in Houston "for years".  Talk about trapped.  Her entire family and friends are back in Kentucky so she has no one but James, who is very much an abuser -- verbally.  And if they can't get a tire fixed, you KNOW there's no way they can get back to Kentucky.  

I'd help buy her a ticket home if she'd use it.  Let James be someone else's problem, but a nursing home in't equipped for someone of his size.  Not her problem.  Flee Lisa, you can fix your miserable life and you can't fix James'.  

I'd want Penny as my BFF before even meeting James.  Honestly, he's more awful at each viewing.

Edited March 29, 2017 by Otter

[Anchorabu]

27 minutes ago, Otter said:

I'd want Penny as my BFF before even meeting James.  Honestly, he's more awful at each viewing.

So true! I've watched this countless times (I can't help myself!) and he's more repugnant each time. I keep noticing more and more nuances to his passive aggressive abuse. Poor Lisa, it's like Stockholm Syndrome, she will never leave her captor. 

[bethster2000]

54 minutes ago, Otter said:

Her entire family and friends are back in Kentucky so she has no one but James, who is very much an abuser -- verbally.  And if they can't get a tire fixed, you KNOW there's no way they can get back to Kentucky.  

Her family needs to get her out of there and let James K wallow in his own shit like the hog that he is.  Oh, wait...I forgot.  Hogs are actually very clean animals.  James can't make the same claim.  

I found it very interesting, and upsetting, when James declares that HE "ain't gonna pay no parking fees."  How does James pay for ANYTHING?

One of the most effective tactics of any abuser is to isolate the victim from family and friends.  Not only has James managed to do that, but he has sentenced Lisa to a lifetime of constant servitude.

[okerry]

5 minutes ago, bethster2000 said:

One of the most effective tactics of any abuser is to isolate the victim from family and friends.  Not only has James managed to do that, but he has sentenced Lisa to a lifetime of constant servitude.

You are so right about that. I've seen other abusers do that, too. One day their victim looks up and realizes that they have absolutely no one to lean on for support of any kind, except the abuser.

And you gotta hand it to James - maybe this is what he means about being so effective with "the female persuasion." He's managed to totally isolate Lisa from every last one of her friends and family, and his shitty ass (literally) can't even get out of bed.

If ever there was abuse personified, it's James.

[55Unicorns]

9 minutes ago, okerry said:

You are so right about that. I've seen other abusers do that, too. One day their victim looks up and realizes that they have absolutely no one to lean on for support of any kind, except the abuser.

And you gotta hand it to James - maybe this is what he means about being so effective with "the female persuasion." He's managed to totally isolate Lisa from every last one of her friends and family, and his shitty ass (literally) can't even get out of bed.

If ever there was abuse personified, it's James.

Damn... I never thought of it that way.  What a f!!!!king train wreck...

[MillieSparklepants]

13 minutes ago, okerry said:

You are so right about that. I've seen other abusers do that, too. One day their victim looks up and realizes that they have absolutely no one to lean on for support of any kind, except the abuser.

And you gotta hand it to James - maybe this is what he means about being so effective with "the female persuasion." He's managed to totally isolate Lisa from every last one of her friends and family, and his shitty ass (literally) can't even get out of bed.

If ever there was abuse personified, it's James.

It must be really hard for the camera operators and producers to watch something like this and do nothing. I wonder if they try privately to urge her to get help.

James probably thinks that's what being effective at "female persuasion" means - being able to get her to be your slave.

Edited March 29, 2017 by MillieSparklepants

[Otter]

7 minutes ago, MillieSparklepants said:

It must be really hard for the camera operators and producers to watch something like this and do nothing. I wonder if they try privately to urge her to get help.

James probably thinks that's what being effective at "female persuasion" means - being able to get her to be your slave.

Dr. Now sends his patients to counseling, but Lisa isn't his patient.  He can do nothing for her and may not realize the verbal abuse she's subjected to constantly.  Hoping that changed if he even watches the show.  Watching again today, the sleeping on the floor submission so broke my heart.  Yet she repeats it with her own daughter by taking her out of school leaving her not able to make a life for herself beyond poverty.  Constant verbal abuse is worse than being hit believe it nor not.  She doesn't feed him what he wants to please him -- she does it to protect herself.  I'm no expert on DV so MOO but some experience.  

And the show people ... there was an Intervention where a junkie teen OD'ed with the BF.  They called for help -- he was too stoned to even notice she was dying.  

[okerry]

26 minutes ago, MillieSparklepants said:

It must be really hard for the camera operators and producers to watch something like this and do nothing. I wonder if they try privately to urge her to get help.

James probably thinks that's what being effective at "female persuasion" means - being able to get her to be your slave.

It could be that the film crew knows the best way they can help Lisa is to document the abuse and put it out there for the world to see, which is exactly what they did.

And yes, I think you're exactly right when it comes to James's opinion on females. Slave, indeed.

[Trees]

When you think about it, these folks spend countless hours with the film crews and producers.  What a fascinating relationship that is - witnessing extreme dysfunction, then stepping back to normal life. 

[DC Gal in VA]

43 minutes ago, okerry said:

You are so right about that. I've seen other abusers do that, too. One day their victim looks up and realizes that they have absolutely no one to lean on for support of any kind, except the abuser.

And you gotta hand it to James - maybe this is what he means about being so effective with "the female persuasion." He's managed to totally isolate Lisa from every last one of her friends and family, and his shitty ass (literally) can't even get out of bed.

If ever there was abuse personified, it's James.

Excellent observations okerry. It's both frightening and so disheartening to see that man wield such psychological control over another human being from his giant, shitty bed. That power must be so intoxicating to him, the selfish assed slug.

[Trees]

I think every bite James takes is like a snort of cocaine.

But what's Lisa's cocaine?  Her demeanor and dead eyes - she's like a "ho" in a crack house who doesn't even bother to put her clothes back on. I guess her "high" is being needed. 

Whatever the answer is, it's one of the most messed up things I've ever seen. I'm another one who signed on and found this forum due to the show.  How can you process such craziness without talking it over with others?

[okerry]

I think James is like methadone for Lisa - there's no high, just the prevention of going through the pain of withdrawal. Of having to change your life. No high, no withdrawal, just day after day of not feeling good/not feeling (that) bad. As long as she doesn't confront him, she doesn't have to go through even more abuse or the chaos and effort of trying to start over. Methadone.

[Trees]

13 minutes ago, okerry said:

I think James is like methadone for Lisa - there's no high, just the prevention of going through the pain of withdrawal. Of having to change your life. No high, no withdrawal, just day after day of not feeling good/not feeling (that) bad. As long as she doesn't confront him, she doesn't have to go through even more abuse or the chaos and effort of trying to start over. Methadone.

You nailed it.

[Otter]

And that deadness is part of abuse.  Kind of like PTSD.  Yet they refuse to leave.  Dr, Now can do nothing for her himself.  But he could somehow intervene.  He could at least not berate her like she's plotting his murder.  But no one would fault her if she carried it out.  I believe there's a phrase in Texas justice -- "He deserved kinlling".  Not advocating murder, but that woman is at the end of her rope and last nerve.

[MillieSparklepants]

1 hour ago, okerry said:

I think James is like methadone for Lisa - there's no high, just the prevention of going through the pain of withdrawal. Of having to change your life. No high, no withdrawal, just day after day of not feeling good/not feeling (that) bad. As long as she doesn't confront him, she doesn't have to go through even more abuse or the chaos and effort of trying to start over. Methadone.

Good comparison. Someone a few pages ago (DC Gal?) made an excellent point about Lisa. She stays because if she leaves, she has to admit that he's been using her this whole time and may not, probably not, have ever really loved her. To admit you let someone use and abuse you for decades would be an extremely painful realization. But as long as things stay the same, she can pretend he loves her because she helps him. I dunno, she's in a complicated situation and not entirely blameless, but I do feel bad for her.

[DC Gal in VA]

1 hour ago, MillieSparklepants said:

Good comparison. Someone a few pages ago (DC Gal?) made an excellent point about Lisa. She stays because if she leaves, she has to admit that he's been using her this whole time and may not, probably not, have ever really loved her. To admit you let someone use and abuse you for decades would be an extremely painful realization. But as long as things stay the same, she can pretend he loves her because she helps him. I dunno, she's in a complicated situation and not entirely blameless, but I do feel bad for her.

Yep, that was me MillieSparklepants. I took no joy in saying that, but I think she would rather be his forever doormat than admit that this beast has chewed up and spit out the best years of her life.

[Nevereclipsed]

I have a real problem with them exposing Bailey to this disaster. This is an insanely abusive tragic situation, and she seems like she has a chance at making it, but that will decrease every year she's exposed to this. They took her out of school? He doesn't even care enough about his daughter to try? He demands full on desert while eating plates of food that are insanely large? Ugh. I'm so frustrated. I know the show is called My 600 lb life, so it focuses on James, but I wish there was a focus on the daughter. How could they do that to her? Based on the reaction this episode got, I'm betting they will do a follow up, and the producers should know, we don't care if James can sit up. I want to see that girl get away from that mess. 

[Nancypants]

On 3/21/2017 at 2:48 PM, operalover said:

I guess it's because if you live long enough it eventually happens to almost everyone. My dad had it done around 78 years old and he had perfect vision his whole life. I am sure I'll need to get it too some day. I don't wear glasses or anything now. 

Yeah this show really sucks you in because in almost all the shows, almost all of them mess up the first time, after the initial visit. Dr. Now yells at them and then they get their shit together. Dr. Now yelled at them when they arrived in Houston because for the 4 months he was counseling him long distance he lost nothing. Then he spends 10,000 dollars of his father's money to go there and GAINS 158 pounds. He gets reamed out AGAIN and 2 months later comes back having GAINED again 3 pounds.  Here is an immobile guy who continues to stuff  his face. His enabler should have had the understanding of the gravity of the situation and not brought him the food- it's not so hard to believe that he would have trouble sticking to the diet and it would be very difficult for him. But the fact that she kept on bringing him shit food is indeed mind-boggling. Any functioning adult would say to him: James, we spent $10,000 that was a gift from your father to get you here, you just went into heart failure, I have to keep cleaning up your shit and piss, NO I am not bringing you Chinese food, have a plate of fish. 

Any RATIONAL human being gets it. Why why why could she not say no to him and put her foot down? There were SOOOOO many reasons! Yes, he is an addict, but she is bringing the addict his booze and then complaining that she has to deal with the consequences of it. 

When James dies, The state of KY needs to charge Lisa with 2nd degree murder. Also fine her for all the resources drained while she was being complicit in his impending demise. 

[Tabbygirl521]

23 hours ago, Ocean Chick said:

Which is fine, if that works for you.  But why would Lisa and Bayley need step by step instructions on how to prepare food that they prepare Every.  Single.  Day?  They would know by now that he requires 6 eggs and 6 sausages and 6 biscuits, crumbled.  With LOTS of gravy over everything.

Exposition for the viewing audience, I think, to be sure we really understood all the details of this so-called meal. 

[Ocean Chick]

Another thing to remember is that Lisa was broken a long time before she even met James.  Remember the abusive husband?  That she stayed with for years?  For years even after she met James and had kids with him?  Clearly the woman has issues, and has had them for decades.

[themabeldifference]

I am so sad that this thread is over :(

... I really enjoyed reading all 37 pages. Thanks guys/ girls!!!!!!!!

[Anchorabu]

2 hours ago, themabeldifference said:

 

I am so sad that this thread is over :(

... I really enjoyed reading all 37 pages. Thanks guys/ girls!!!!!!!!

 

Me too! Looking forward to seeing you all again!

❤️

[DrNowsWeightScale]

On 3/17/2017 at 11:12 AM, Swiss said:

I never realized that people in this day and age can be so ignorant. How could neither he or Lisa grasp their actual situation? It seemed like he had the mind of a child and had no real clue how dire his situation is/was.  Lisa looked completely beat down to me..her eyes were just dead.

I don't know about James, but maybe Lisa knows in the back of her mind what's really going on and how dire his situation is but is in denial. It may be easier for her to push these things out of mind than focus on them.  

When you have to face stuff that you find very painful, scary, or stressful to deal with, you come to the realization you may have to make some pretty big life changes, something I think which a lot of us are reluctant to do. 

[DrNowsWeightScale]

As annoying as James K was, with the constant whining and so forth ("Mah legs, mah legs!! Ooow wee mah legs, don't drop me, mah legs!"), I found that Steve Assanti from the most recent episode of the show was in some ways far worse than James.

On one level, I think James' treatment of his girlfriend Lisa amounts to (emotional) abuse (which is obviously very wrong), but I feel that the Assanti guy is more malicious and just plain attention-seeking - he seems to want attention from the general public.

I think some reports have said that Assanti said he'd like to be an actor, and years ago, he was on the Dr. Phil show. I think he wants to be famous.

Though James K. seems to want his friends and family to pay him lots of attention, but it doesn't seem to be quite the same thing as what Assanti is doing.

I was very put off by the fact that even though the father on the show took out a second mortgage on his home to pay for James' trip to Houston (!!!), that James basically threw it away once he got there.

Instead of diligently working at losing weight once he got to Houston (yes, it takes self discipline and effort to lose weight, which James doesn't seem willing to recognize), he disobeyed Dr. Now's direction and dietary rules. I cannot believe after his dad and girlfriend and all these other people went out of their way to help him, he just continued doing what he wanted to do.

[DrNowsWeightScale]

At times, I also find it annoying when James' girlfriend Lisa would enable him, but as someone who used to be codependent too, I kind of get her mindset on this, that she keeps caving in and bringing him the food the doctor says he's not supposed to have.

I'm not saying I agree or approve of her breaking the rules and enabling the guy, but I kind of understand it. Until and unless Lisa develops some self-esteem and learns about the concept of boundaries, she's going to keep giving in to the guy who acts like a big baby.

Aspects of being codependent can involve things such as fear of being alone (being rejected or abandoned), fear of confrontation, fear of anger, and you place your self worth on what you do for other people.

So, Lisa is afraid if she says "no" to James and refuses to bring him another egg roll or burger, he will yell at her or break up with her.  She may feel he will love her only if he needs her, if she does things for him (in his case, bringing him more pizza or whatever). 

Enduring verbal or emotional abuse is very scary and painful for codependents.

On the one hand, while I understand the outlook that James is too large to get out of bed, chase her down, and physically abuse her should she not comply with his food demands, I empathize with her fear of receiving verbal abuse or possible abandonment.

It's hard to articulate to people who have normal self-esteem or boundaries, but I used to be like her, so I get it. It's very hard to tolerate verbal abuse when you're still steeped in codependency.

And on a side note here, years ago, I used to have a fiance' who would complain for minutes or hours on end to get his way in a dispute with me.  I used to cave in and let my ex get his way just to get him to shut up, because I would get sick of listening to his ranting, yelling, or complaining. 

 I was raised in a family where most of my family members were constant, negative complainers. I learned at a young age to just cave in and do what they wanted if it got them to stop complaining. Maybe Lisa was brought up like that too. She may find it easier to bring James another burger if it gets him to shut up and stop the whining, even if she knows it's not good for his health.

It seems that the  majority of people on this show over-eat and arrive at 600 pounds due to some left over issues or pain from childhood. Regardless, I think James K. could only benefit from some sort of mental health treatment.

I can never figure out why Dr. Now sometimes waits 3/4th into a show (and usually after the patient fails 2 or 3 times at weight loss goals) before he orders them to see a therapist.

IMHO, directing each patient to see a therapist or psychologist should be part of their VERY FIRST VISIT with Dr. Now each time.

I've seen so many of the patients on this show not experience a breakthrough and achieve success until after they've been into therapy.

This would include a person or two on the show who didn't even want to see a therapist, they swore up and down it wasn't necessary - but after seeing one, they would later say, "Well what do you know, I really DID have underlying emotional problems that were leading me to eat, and talking about them with my therapist really did help." Then they went on to follow Dr. Now's diet plan and lose the weight.

I don't recall Dr. Now ordering James K. to see a mental health professional. If he did not, IMO, he really should have. Lisa, the girlfriend, could also use a few visits to a therapist and learn to stop being codependent and develop some boundaries.

[DrNowsWeightScale]

On 3/17/2017 at 11:21 AM, Kid said:

Probably because it's impossible  for one person to take care of that worthless sack of skin and fat,   and she obviously cares more about him than she does about her daughter.  But we all know he's good with the ladies because he told the EMTs so.

That was in reply to this comment by someone else:

Quote

 

"I still don't understand why the girlfriend "made" the daughter drop out of school to care for James."

 

For about a year and a half, I was a care taker for a family member who had cancer. I don't think most people realize how totally draining it is, physically and psychologically, to be a care taker for a sick person.

The person I was caring for got down to about 85 pounds, was around 5 ft 2 inches tall, and it still took quite an effort to flip her around in her hospital bed (that we were renting that was in her home) to change sheets, help her with physical therapy, etc. And I was larger, stronger, and younger than this person. It still exhausted me.

I had an aunt who brought her 50-something husband home to care for him after he was in an auto accident. She is a petite lady, her spouse was normal- sized but somewhat brain damaged, and I think he was partially paralyzed (or too weak to move) due to the car accident.

This aunt of mine cared for her husband for about two years in their own home. She had to have a neighbor of hers come in daily or at least weekly to flip him over and around in their bed to change sheets, clean  him, and so on.

Years later, I found out this aunt's oldest son (my cousin) got angry at her for finally putting his dad (her husband, my uncle) into a Skilled Nursing Facility.

I asked this aunt, "Has your son (my cousin) ever cared for another sick, bed ridden adult full time?"

She said, "No." I said, "Well I have. You have. Your son has no idea how exhausting it is being a care taker to another person."

Now, I am talking about a normal sized uncle, and my cancer- stricken family member was petite, and it was still very difficult for my aunt and myself to care for and move around our respective bed ridden family.

I cannot imagine how much more difficult it must be for a woman (such as Lisa, who may be about what, 5 ft 5 inches tall, a bit pudgy) to lift, move, or shift over, a 750 pound man in a bed to change a urine pad and to bathe him.

I can totally understand why Lisa wanted or needed her daughter or friends to come over and help her move a 750 pound man around to care for him. (Not that I agree with her pulling her daughter out of school - I think she should have continued on in her education - but I see why she found it tempting.)

One person cannot do that sort of care taking alone. I barely was able to move my 85 pound family member around on my own. It's like trying to handle a very large sack of potatoes. It's not easy, and it's hard on one's back. I cannot imagine having to lift or move around a 750 pound man, it was hard enough with an 85 pound person.

[Otter]

I was my mom's caretaker when the hospice nurses weren't there, which was only a few hours a day to check on her (and me).  She weighed nothing and I couldn't maneuver her to change anything soiled.  The nurse who "traveled" would come over once I called.  

Regarding Lisa, hits just keep on coming for her.  She shared her daughter's link on her fb, linking to another GoFundMe.  Sigh.  Her misery with James is really her own doing, yet I still feel much compassion for her.  

Post from yesterday:

https://www.facebook.com/lucky2day

[DrNowsWeightScale]

On 3/17/2017 at 11:34 AM, Stephanie1216 said:

 he even likes them cleaning his s***. He wiggles around in the bed and then calls for Lisa to "change" him. This man literally can't even wipe his own ass. 

I usually have compassion for most of the patients on this show, but there have been a small number such as James K (or Steve Assanti) who I do not (the ones who are jerks, ingrates, or not even willing to make an effort). I cannot imagine living life as they do, in the bodily fluids / other mess, not being able to take care of their own personal hygiene, due to over-eating.

That anyone would be happy or so unmotivated to change and lose weight when they are adults and seem okay urinating or defecating on padded sheets, having family members change it, all because they over-ate and cannot walk themselves to a bathroom. I would feel so humiliated or ashamed if that were me.

Edited April 2, 2017 by DrNowsWeightScale
insert clarifying text

[Otter]

10 minutes ago, DrNowsWeightScale said:

I usually have compassion for most of the patients on this show, but there have been a small number such as James K (or Steve Assanti) who I do not (the ones who are jerks, ingrates, or not even willing to make an effort). I cannot imagine living life as they do, in the bodily fluids / other mess, not being able to take care of their own personal hygiene, due to over-eating.

That anyone would be happy or so unmotivated to change and lose weight when they are adults and seem okay urinating or defecating on padded sheets, having family members change it, all because they over-ate and cannot walk themselves to a bathroom. I would feel so humiliated or ashamed if that were me.

That's one part I've never understood.  It wasn't happening on the first few seasons -- the first person I can think of is Penny in her bed/toilet/kitchen/play area.  Yuck.  Unless everything is doused with Lysol, the thought of eating her meatloaf made me gag.  

I can't think of his name -- he was from Tennessee and was successful; even met a girl and fell in love and courted her so lovely!  Don't know what happened with him.  Anyway, he said he'd kill himself before he had to be "toileted" (my word).  Really sweet man.