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S05.E18: Hazardous To Your Health


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Re: the money going into an FBI account.  My fan wank was that it was set up by Christine as a neutral place for the money to sit before Dylan and Jonesy split it up, to ensure one of them doesn't run off with it.

I like that the show continues to reference Ginger (!) as Val's off-screen friend from Buffalo.  We're getting ever closer to her visit!

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It's really amazing that Dylan seems to think that he's somehow entitled to abduct a child. Her parents stole his money, so that makes it okay? She may not be too happy, but she's not really being mistreated (although I guess you could argue there's something creepy in the fact that a grown man seems to be helping her showering). The FBI are maybe willing to close their eyes on Jonesy helping stealing the money back, but Christine is now supposed to cover up kidnapping. Anything for Jack McKay's son I guess. But Val and Jonesy are awesome as are Val's boobs.

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I remember this episode pretty well.

The funny thing is is that Dylan "saves" his sister and immediately sends her over to Iris, who is already proven to be an absolute failure as a mother/guardian. 

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18 minutes ago, benteen said:

I remember this episode pretty well.

The funny thing is is that Dylan "saves" his sister and immediately sends her over to Iris, who is already proven to be an absolute failure as a mother/guardian. 

Seriously, though. Granted, even if Dylan did plan to raise Erica himself, he's a 19/20 year old who just got out of rehab a month ago, and CPS would be all over him. Conveniently, no one on the show has grandparents/ extended family except for storyline purposes or Suzanne's family would be more likely to step in.

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a few things.

1. One paper for many classes.  I think in some lower-division classes, there may be enough overlap where one paper could possibly work- like a Lit Class that focuses on a certain time period and then a history class in that same period.  I do remember taking a few lit classes where I was reading the same books.  What would have made way more sense for lazy Steve is to be taking classes where the teachers are too lazy to switch out exams and KEG has a freaking file for all them.  Or he has a list of easy professors who grade generously to KEG members.

2. Tenure- is this how it works? If a teacher doesn't get tenure they "bring the university to their knees?" Tara, please comment.  I don't know anything about how that goes down.

3. I hate it when the show makes me side with Brandon, but he didn't deserve that tone from Finley. 

4. I'm so angry that Val has to do something shady in the eyes of Jim and company for Dylan who doesn't even appreciate it!  Doesn't he refuse to pay her for her work? She risked her life to help him and definitely got on Jim's bad side. 

5. Ok- can someone explain this whole Kevin and Suzanne thing for me?  I thought they were lovers, right? Or was the entire thing, including their romance fake? If so, then why not just divide the money and go away for another con?

6. Has anything been officially established that shows Dylan is Erica's half brother? Why would Mexican cops give over the little girl to him? How could he take her out of the country? Does Suzanne really deserve to lose custody of her child? Why is Erica so attached to a guy she only knew for a few months over her own family?

Can I say I'm so happy we are going back to 2x a week with you. 

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Next time I'm going to send someone money via Quickpay, I'm going to say, "I'll cyber finance you."

With Erica, even if she is unhappy being in Mexico, and Brazil before it, would she really want to leave her own mother to go live with a brother she knew for like six months? That doesn't make sense. She doesn't know that her mom is a criminal and Susanne isn't shown to be abusive or neglectful, so why is she so antsy to go live with Dylan? Who pawns her off on Iris pretty quickly, since Iris was such a great mom to him. Shit, Susanne might actually be a better mom than Iris. #nodisrespecttoStaphanieBeacham

ETA: And this $25 to have Dave say one word, can this be my own made up swear word?

Edited by MerBearStare
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1 hour ago, CurlyATX said:

2. Tenure- is this how it works? If a teacher doesn't get tenure they "bring the university to their knees?" Tara, please comment.  I don't know anything about how that goes down.

3. I hate it when the show makes me side with Brandon, but he didn't deserve that tone from Finley. 

Can I say I'm so happy we are going back to 2x a week with you. 

The tenure thing is so annoying because lack of (academic) publications would be a perfectly legitimate reason for Finley to be denied, especially given that CU is a large state university. Being loved by undergraduates is not the path to tenure at such places. It really sounded like Brandon had a good point (it pains me to write that), and a potential strategy for addressing it, but maybe the idea was to show that Finley was paranoid and unreasonable.

I'm also so happy about the twice-weekly schedule returning! Woo hoo!

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I just noticed that Val is wearing a wedding ring. Is the con that she and Jonesy are newlyweds? And how did I not realize how gorgeous Val is? And she's a true friend- Kelly or Donna wouldn't have come to help.

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16 hours ago, CurlyATX said:

1. One paper for many classes. 

Professors definitely don't compare notes about student papers. The thing professors hate most about their jobs (other than their colleagues) is reading student papers. A B+ paper isn't going to get talked about unless there's some other red flag that cheating is involved.

 

16 hours ago, CurlyATX said:

2. Tenure- is this how it works? If a teacher doesn't get tenure they "bring the university to their knees?" Tara, please comment.  I don't know anything about how that goes down.

In most cases, if you don't get tenure, you slink away into the night, completely disgraced. Sometimes you get a second chance in a couple of years, sometimes it means you're essentially fired and have to go away now; it depends on the institution. StatMom is right that lack of publications is reason enough not to tenure someone (assuming CU is UCLA; if CU has secretly been Cal State Northridge all along, publications aren't as big a deal, because the teaching load is 2.5 times higher).

However! I'm almost willing to give the show credit, because anyone with a bully pulpit can make a stink about tenure, and claim that the reasons have to do with discrimination and not academics. If Angela Davis doesn't get tenure, people will know about it across the country, and there will be a controversy. A white male cult leader? I don't know, it could happen. 

 

14 hours ago, StatMom said:

I'm also so happy about the twice-weekly schedule returning! Woo hoo!

Me too! Let it never stop! 

Edited by Stowaway
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20 hours ago, benteen said:

The funny thing is is that Dylan "saves" his sister and immediately sends her over to Iris, who is already proven to be an absolute failure as a mother/guardian. 

I was going to save my rant about that until next week, but...seriously!  I get that the show didn't want Dylan stuck with a preteen to raise, but if you're sending her off-screen, why not a maternal relative over Iris?

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46 minutes ago, TeeVee329 said:

I get that the show didn't want Dylan stuck with a preteen to raise

Is she still a preteen in this ep? Isn't Erica supposed to be around 13 by now? She was 12 when they showed up on her doorstep (although she acts about 8 y o) - seriously, how old is that girl supposed to be? 

 

15 hours ago, StatMom said:

It really sounded like Brandon had a good point (it pains me to write that)

Yea, I know. Ugh. But I loved how Finley went from magnanimous to straight up Kook in, like, 60 seconds. And I loved Brandon's shitty pants look when Finley called him out for lying. And how realistic would it be for a sophomore to become a Professor's TA? I thought that would be reserved for Grad students or at least upperclassmen? 

And I'll say it again. Why is it only $8 Mill? What happened to the "10s of Millions of Dollars" he was set to inherit when he was diddling the Horse Lady? Is it because Jack lost everything and the only money was what his Mother saved for him? I don't get it. But anyhoodle, I will say that $8 Mill, while a shitload of money, isn't exactly a life long fortune for a 20 year old who has no college education, no career, is in and out of rehab, and lives in an expensive city.  Just sayin...He'd be broke by 40. 

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I remember TAT just a little bit from Saved by the Bell. I'm out of the demographic so I didn't watch it past a couple of minutes here and there while flipping through channels. I remember thinking of her as cute. I missed her run on BH90210 and have only seen her recently on White Collar and her cooking show. She's still lovely; but, she's gorgeous and downright sexy in these episodes. By the way, if you like cooking shows, she actually has legit cooking skills. And she always has guests, mostly previous costars including Jason Priestly, on there. Dinner at Tiffany's.

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16 minutes ago, Flamingo said:

By the way, if you like cooking shows, she actually has legit cooking skills. And she always has guests, mostly previous costars including Jason Priestly, on there. Dinner at Tiffany's.

I do watch this show.  She's sweet and seems to be a way better cook than several other celebs (Tricia Yearwood or Everyone Loves Raymond mom). 

 

35 minutes ago, Klaw said:

But anyhoodle, I will say that $8 Mill, while a shitload of money, isn't exactly a life long fortune for a 20 year old who has no college education, no career, is in and out of rehab, and lives in an expensive city.

I wonder if this is what's left after Pirate Kevin bought his treasures.  Jack lost all his money since he pulled a Bernie Madoff right? So if we think how much would it cost to have a mom leave her son forever.  Maybe $10M back in 1980 (when Dylan was little) and she just lived off the interest (generously 10% of the money).  Dylan put an even $10M in the bank for the company.  I still don't get why Kevin/Suzanne are still married if it seems like they hate each other. Or how they explained the name change to Erica.

Dylan will be broke since he doesn't have Jim helping him with wise spending.  That means NOT living in a hotel (how much is that?  Is there a discount or is it $200 a night?), buying sports cars, or traveling first class around the world (spoiler).  For our life insurance, we have $1M, ideally thinking that the kids will put that into an account and can live off of 10% (100K) a year.  It's not easy-street but it's extremely comfy.

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$8 million is nothing to sneeze at but I remember even when the episode aired (1995) that that number was low for how rich Dylan was always described as being.  And the deal with Jonesy meant he had to give him half.  As I recall, Kevin tells Val that he has 7 1/2 million in the bank so Dylan should be only walking away with less that $4 million.  Again, nothing to sneeze at but we're not talking super rich.  Especially by Beverly Hills standards.

Yeah, I can't imagine sticking Dylan with a little girl to raise.  We saw how well that storyline went with Andrea.  Plus, as already noted, Dylan is fresh out of rehab and only 20 (HA!) years old.  But give the show credit for consistency.  When Erica reappears years later, it reaffirms once again how lousy of a parent/guardian that Iris was.

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As much as Dylan's stupid army duffel and stupid futon and especially those stupid patterned sheets are stupid, I feel like at least they're somewhat realistic for a college-age Jack Kerouac wannabe. Unlike the decor at the beach apartment, which looks like the visiting room of a retirement home. 

For some reason, even though I'm vague about a lot that happens in this season, Brandon's well-well-welly-well-well has always stuck in my head, to the extent that I'm wondering if it's not the only time he busted it out. He's so gross and I hate that he's essentially on the right side in this whole Finley thing. 

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Today is a slow day and I found this lovely quiz:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/billypeltzer/which-classic-beverly-hills-90210-character-are-ecuv?utm_term=.bq9va8nZ6#.ta95Wr1qR

I got Valerie! (not sure where the heck this goes...but since I just went on for a few posts about my Valerie renaissance, I figured why not).

You got: Andrea Zuckerman
Mature, opinionated, and too smart for your own good, you’re the kind of person who never seems to fit in. You’re always handing out unsolicited advice to friends, and free condoms to teenagers. Parties “aren’t your scene.” Your greatest obstacle is yourself — as well as unplanned pregnancies, anti-Semitic sorority girls, and oncoming traffic.

I knew this would be the outcome, but it still makes me sad :)

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2 hours ago, MerBearStare said:

I got Andrea too, even though I selected faking a French accent as my hobby. *Price is Right failure horn*

I think they quizzes aren't based on (their) obvious answers but a random gernerator or just one particular answer flagged for the result. I did the one for True Blood and got Jessica and it was like so wrong. (I'm Pam?)  But a lot of people who did it after me got Jessica and gave different answers on most questions. 

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I got Brandon and I'm sadly not surprised. Brandon is a jerk then again so am I. Yeah, could be worse.

Just counting the moments until we have Brandon free from Kelly. I would have expected out of all the characters to have Donna or Dylan in a cult especially if you go by early seasons. 

I would have felt that Erica would have probably turn up a good place if Dylan didn't 'rescue' her and dump at Iris. 

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17 hours ago, CurlyATX said:

I just noticed that Val is wearing a wedding ring. Is the con that she and Jonesy are newlyweds? And how did I not realize how gorgeous Val is? And she's a true friend- Kelly or Donna wouldn't have come to help.

To be fair. Kevin and Suzanne would have known Donna and Kelly especially Kelly. The only characters that could have been used would have been like David, Clare and Steve. 

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Dylan put an even $10M in the bank for the company.  I still don't get why Kevin/Suzanne are still married if it seems like they hate each other. Or how they explained the name change to Erica.

Or why 12-13 y o Erica couldn't have snuck a phone call or note to Dylan during the year they were on the lamb. I know that's young, but FFS, Erica. Kids that age aren't totally helpless and many can be quite savvy, even in the pre-internet, pre-cell phone for everybody era. 

And yea, the money thing still bugs. I looked it up, CurlyATX $10 million in 1980 would have been about $30 Mill, so it makes sense that this is the money Iris saved for Dylan. But WHY AM I THINKING SO DAMN MUCH ABOUT THIS SHOW!!!! UGH!!! 

I got Dylan (YIKES!) then Kelly (DOUBLE YIKES!) - don't know what that says about me other than I'm a selfish, self-absorbed asshole. Great. *slinks away to do the quiz again in hopes of getting Val or Andrea (lesser of the evils)*

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Now Steve would have been funny to see working this con.  How badly would he have screwed this up?  Probably would have accidentally set Kevin and Suzanne's house on fire and then cried about it afterward.

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But anyhoodle, I will say that $8 Mill, while a shitload of money, isn't exactly a life long fortune for a 20 year old who has no college education, no career, is in and out of rehab, and lives in an expensive city.  Just sayin...He'd be broke by 40. 

With Dylan, yes, he'd be broke, but if you own your house, invest well and don't have a lot of expenses, you can easily live on 8 million.  Depending on the rates at the time and how the money is deposited, he'd be getting a decent interest income that could cover a number of his expenses. 

I kind of love the cult storyline, if only because Val comes out of this looking awesome (giving the entire thing like five minutes before rolling her eyes and leaving), while Kelly comes off like a gullible, simp.  Also, I think there's a later episode where we hear that Brandon brought his concerns to Jackie and she totally doesn't care.  She whatevers the whole thing, comparing it to her joining EST (I think.).       

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I'm so glad my slow workday helped find the quiz.  I almost laughed out loud when one of the quiz questions had an "I choose me" option.

5 hours ago, Klaw said:

 $10 million in 1980 would have been about $30 Mill, so it makes sense that this is the money Iris saved for Dylan. But WHY AM I THINKING SO DAMN MUCH ABOUT THIS SHOW!!!! UGH!!! 

@Klaw I'm impressed with your search skillz.  In my mind, Jack gave Iris $10M to walk away in 1980 and she's been living off the interest all these years in Hawaii.  That's why the amount hasn't changed in 15 years.

I'm excited that Brandon and Kelly split too.  I actually liked Susan- it seemed to be the alternative to what would have happened if Ohndrea hadn't gotten preggo.  Susan was strong, smart and her only fault was liking Brandon.  Then she took the job in DC and moved to Sunnydale.

As for Erica- I can't remember, but she somehow becomes a prostitute, right? Would her mom have had her parental rights terminated? How long were Suzanne and Kevin in jail?

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47 minutes ago, CurlyATX said:

Susan was strong, smart and her only fault was liking Brandon.  Then she took the job in DC and moved to Sunnydale.

And then they photocopied old scripts, crossed out "Susan" and "newspaper" and wrote in "Tracy" and "TV station".  Ugh.  It was such a lazy retread of what they'd done the year before and it irritated me so, especially because I had really liked Emma Caulfield as Susan.

Edited by TeeVee329
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On 12/7/2016 at 9:49 AM, CurlyATX said:

As for Erica- I can't remember, but she somehow becomes a prostitute, right? Would her mom have had her parental rights terminated? How long were Suzanne and Kevin in jail?

I had really stopped watching by the time Erica comes back as a hooker--I was a poor 20-something with 3 jobs and no cable, who read Danny Drennan's recaps online in the library--so I don't really remember how that came about. Was Iris as bad a foster mom as I imagine? Did Erica run away from Hawaii and end up on the streets? Was she still intellectually slow when she came back all aged-up? I can't wait to find out. 

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I LOVED Danny's write ups.  I used to read them at work all the time (at my first real job).  I really didn't rewatch the post-graduate episodes, they are all pretty bad.  If I remember correctly, we don't actually see Erica. (sorry, reread the Drennan recap and sadly the new Erica is shown on screen). Somehow Brandon/Kelly spot her on the street.  I don't know how they'd recognize her after all those years because I see my cousin's kids every 3-4 years and I swear I can barely recognize them.  I wouldn't be able to see someone I knew as a 12 yr old one summer and then spot them 4 years later as I was driving and know. 

From my hazy memory, she ran away with some boy to the "mainland" and then got mixed up with the pimp.  I think this was when Kelly was working at the clinic.  Now I need to go to that Mediarama site... today's a slow day.

Edited by CurlyATX
I can't be the one person who puts misinformation on the internet
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10 hours ago, Maherjunkie said:

Why is there a catbutt reference?

On the AWT podcast, they have described the way that Kelly so often purses her lips, particularly when she's being judgey, as looking like a cat's butt. 

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