All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[teebax]

The carnival clan from West Va was um a doozy. I too assumed there was a three way situation going on with them.

They can't ever have too many carny cases to suit me. I loved it. I'm sure there aren't enough out there to do it, but if JJ wanted to produce a show called "The Carny Courtroom" I'd be all in.

[Mindymoo]

I looked at the defendant's age on purpose - she's 19 - pretty unlikely she had been through the required college by that age (at least 3-4 years) to become a nurse. Plus she didn't quite look like she might have the brainpower to be an actual nurse

You can get an associate's degree in nursing. However, that program is much harder because they're trying to cram in way too much knowledge and way too many credit hours into a two year course. They started clinicals the first semester at my wife's school, when she didn't get into clinicals until her sophomore year. So theoretically, she could have graduated high school early, enrolled in an ASN program immediately, finished it, and she could be closer to 20 than she is to 18. But I highly doubt it. Or she could be an LPN, which in a lot of places is just a one year program, but I doubt that too. She's just an STNA/CNA, a program you can even do in just a few weeks and doesn't require a lot of brain power to get through it.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

I'd bet she's a health care aide in a nursing home or something. No actual nursing, or maybe something from Dorsey Schools, and still making $8 an hour

 

Honestly, though, that case just made me sad. There are so many people living on the fringe, barely scraping up enough to get from day to day. And you could send those carnie folk to school 24/7 for 20 years and they'd not be capable of anything more. 

[Toaster Strudel]

Pre-empted by some Cuban bullshit!  For shame!

[Ouisch]

Oh, how I laughed until my sides ached when the crew from West By Gosh Virginny announced "We're carnival folks." I half expected him to proudly declare that he was "fifth generation carnival people." Keep in mind, y'all, before you climb aboard your next Tilt-A-Wheel that these are the people who screwed all the bolts holding it together in place. An online college with a $250/month dorm room? What school do they go to, the Pond's Institute? And Miss Cutter with her Sparkling Personality (or Golden Hoo-Hoo) who gets rent and cell phones for free just because.....well, because!

 

(PS Am I the only one who is driven beyond distraction when a litigant such as Miss Cutter has such mal-fitting eyeglasses that they slope downward at a 60 degree angle across her face? I just want to reach through the screen and straighten those specs up!!)

Edited December 17, 2014 by Ouisch

[AngelaHunter]

Pre-empted by some Cuban bullshit!  For shame!

 

I know! It's always JJ who gets pre-empted, and never that fucking Ellen or Steve Harvey stupid, brainless crap.

 

At least for the second half hour, we got some reasonably good reruns, like the dorky Thomas "Yup" idiot fighting his ex-girlfriend for a 20 year old Honda. Why does no one on this show battle for cars that are less than 15 years old?

 

I must say, the world of title loans, payday loans, "staying" here and there and moving into someone's living room does fascinate me in the same way as observing the huge ant colony living in my rock garden fascinates me. I mean, like, it's so interesting, but I certainly wouldn't want to be part of it.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

You can get an associate's degree in nursing. However, that program is much harder because they're trying to cram in way too much knowledge and way too many credit hours into a two year course.

My daughter has an associates in nursing. She got into the course after being a paramedic for several years and she had to take several prerequisites to get in (and had to get very high grades). You're right - it is a TOUGH, quick moving course, not easily achievable for the undermotivated. Of course it's possible that the defendant is one of those got-out-of-high-school-early-cos-she's-ultra-smart types but I wasn't getting that feeling considering all the shenanigans she was involved in, 

[Sarcastico]

 

The carnival clan from West Va was um a doozy. I too assumed there was a three way situation going on with them.

 

Does anyone remember Casimir the Casanova from a couple of years back?  Another case of carnies.  The two guys worked at a lumber mill way upstate NY, but their girlfriends were carnies during the summer.  There was group sex and drunken lesbian seductions and attempted suicide and DNA tests and false reports of child abuse and plaintiff Casimir, who looked like an animated half-man, half-hedgehog and kept raising his hand like a first-grader eager to give teacher the answer.  Carnies are fun! 

[Milz]

Does anyone remember Casimir the Casanova from a couple of years back?  Another case of carnies.  The two guys worked at a lumber mill way upstate NY, but their girlfriends were carnies during the summer.  There was group sex and drunken lesbian seductions and attempted suicide and DNA tests and false reports of child abuse and plaintiff Casimir, who looked like an animated half-man, half-hedgehog and kept raising his hand like a first-grader eager to give teacher the answer.  Carnies are fun! 

 

I think I remember that one. Didn't the Baby Mama say that she could have gotten pregnant from the two guys or the girl (or am I confusing that with another Baby Mama who doesn't know about basic human reproduction.)

 

Anyhow,  the sister suing her half-brother for locking her out of their father's house even though she's on the deed  case yesterday definitely had some back story that wasn't on the signed statement.

[Zahdii]

I think the back story is that sister is a user, brother is a resentful ass with an ax to grind, and daddy is a weak-willed man in poor health who follows the directions of whoever is closest and can talk the loudest. 

 

I bet that if sister wriggled her way into the house to have a face to face with daddy, she'd cry prettily, drag the grandson in to seal the deal; and brother would be the one who couldn't get dad to answer his calls.

 

I got the impression that neither of the siblings were all that great, they were using their father as a pawn in their own private chess game.

[AngelaHunter]

Does anyone remember Casimir the Casanova from a couple of years back?  Another case of carnies.  The two guys worked at a lumber mill way upstate NY, but their girlfriends were carnies during the summer.  There was group sex and drunken lesbian seductions and attempted suicide and DNA tests and false reports of child abuse and plaintiff Casimir, who looked like an animated half-man, half-hedgehog and kept raising his hand like a first-grader eager to give teacher the answer.  Carnies are fun!

 

JFC! And I missed THIS????  What evil could I have done to be punished thusly?

[Milz]

I think the back story is that sister is a user, brother is a resentful ass with an ax to grind, and daddy is a weak-willed man in poor health who follows the directions of whoever is closest and can talk the loudest. 

 

I bet that if sister wriggled her way into the house to have a face to face with daddy, she'd cry prettily, drag the grandson in to seal the deal; and brother would be the one who couldn't get dad to answer his calls.

 

I got the impression that neither of the siblings were all that great, they were using their father as a pawn in their own private chess game.

 

I had the feeling the live-in caretaker was an issue too due to the use of finger quotes by the sister.

Edited December 18, 2014 by Milz

[Toaster Strudel]

The only way I can think of to gain that much popularity and admiration on FB is to fornicate with every person whose path I cross for 2 decades, nonstop.  If only antibiotics were free.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

Also, what a festive way to spell April.

 

back in the TWOP days, there were pages and pages of comments on pageant children and their, let's say "original" names. Maybe Apryl is another Honey Boo Boo

 

Or just a Boo Boo

[AngelaHunter]

Loved ol' Devious, Disabled Dougie, 27 years old and workin' the system for all it's worth. I wonder if his doctor told him it might help his bad back to shed that 50lb medicine ball he's carrying under his shirt. I have friends I've had since childhood, and casual relationships with neighbours but not one of them has ever offered to repair my car as a gift. Doug must have some hidden qualities.

 

The messed up veteran's home/homeless people shelter case with the 2500$ water bill...I didn't get much of it. The arrangements were far too convoluted for my little brain to unravel.

 

Rerun! Sparkle! Sparkle, with the ginormous breasts that she seemed to enjoy showcasing with that tight, stretchy top. It's very sad that plaintiff was merely driving, no music blaring (the cops made that part up) not driving erratically in the least yet was stopped by the police only for having large rims. Racial profiling. Whatever... Best part? The audience cracking up in the background.

[designing1]

 

Best part? The audience cracking up in the background.

 

I loved that. Every time someone said "Sparkle" the response was Pavlovian. Understandably. Add in other scattered laughter throughout, the defendant's deer in the headlights look and general cluelessness, Sparkle's ability to defy gravity, and ultimately everyone -- including JJ! -- cracking up big time at the end, and you've got one of JJ's more entertaining cases.

[Brattinella]

I had to call hubby in to take a look at Stretchy-Jugs.  Wow.

[Rick Kitchen]

 

Rerun! Sparkle! Sparkle, with the ginormous breasts that she seemed to enjoy showcasing with that tight, stretchy top. It's very sad that plaintiff was merely driving, no music blaring (the cops made that part up) not driving erratically in the least yet was stopped by the police only for having large rims. Racial profiling. Whatever... Best part? The audience cracking up in the background.

 

Methinks Ms. Sparkle is an exotic dancer.

[AngelaHunter]

I wish, just once, that when some slag comes in with her chest exposed in a super low cut top, that JJ would be as vicious as Marilyn Milian was once when she said to a particulary scuzzy bitch with maxium boobage exposed, "I"m not interested in your BREASTS, so cover them up!"

[Guest]

Hey guys,

 

David T. Cole, the site owner, has stated 

 

Don't digital stalk real people by posting maps, addresses, etc to their homes, work, etc. Linking to Facebook is discouraged. Talking about Facebook posts is not allowed.

 

Please keep this in mind going forward.

 

Thanks.

[WhoaWhoKnew]

"2014 of this year," he said so proudly.

[Toaster Strudel]

"2014 of this year," he said so proudly.

 

Strudel Jr and I had to rewind to hear it again.  A thing of beauty.

 

[AuntiePam]

Well, I'm confused.  The local case that everyone in town says was on the show was reported in this week's newspaper as filed and dismissed in the local district court.  I thought that when litigants went on JJ, that meant they couldn't have filed anywhere else.  Or is that from People's Court?  Or Judge Mathis?

 

 

[AngelaHunter]

I thought that when litigants went on JJ, that meant they couldn't have filed anywhere else.

 

They've already filed their cases and court and the JJ staff finds them by trolling through court dockets, I assume. Then their court cases are dismissed when they agree to appear on JJ and abide by her rulings.

[Ouisch]

I had to summon Mr. Ouisch to marvel at the wonder that was Sparkle's chest. He was equally transfixed between her amazing posture and her boyfriend's rogue eyebrow.

[califred]

Now I'm wishing Id looked at the tv more closely during the sparkle case.

In my 40 yrs of life no one has offered to do major repairs on my car for free.

[Milz]

Methinks Frederick's fav cartoon growing up was Heathcliff. Note how he precisely copied that one uplifted eyebrow and that fixed stare.

[teebax]

Rerun! Sparkle! Sparkle, with the ginormous breasts that she seemed to enjoy showcasing with that tight, stretchy top. It's very sad that plaintiff was merely driving, no music blaring (the cops made that part up) not driving erratically in the least yet was stopped by the police only for having large rims. Racial profiling. Whatever... Best part? The audience cracking up in the background.

My mother, who rarely says anything bad about anyone, made a dairy farm joke about her that I wish to God I remembered. It was funny in itself, but coming from my usually-polite mother it was freaking hilarious. She also wondered why a litigant would announce their stripper name on national TV.

[Oinky Boinky]

I had to summon Mr. Ouisch to marvel at the wonder that was Sparkle's chest. He was equally transfixed between her amazing posture and her boyfriend's rogue eyebrow.

I am surmising that that one eyebrow went up the first time Sparkle took off her bra.

 

I thought if your eyebrow stayed up for more than 4 hours you were supposed to call a physician.  

[Milz]

I am surmising that that one eyebrow went up the first time Sparkle took off her bra.

 

I thought if your eyebrow stayed up for more than 4 hours you were supposed to call a physician.  

 

I think you're confusing the eyebrow with  his other body part that probably went up the first time Sparkle took off her bra.

[Ouisch]

I didn't notice if it mentioned what Sparkle did for a living.....I'm guessing she's an au pair? She probably prefers Jughead over Archie when reading the comics to her charges. While serving cantaloupes for lunch.Oh well, nice hanging out with ya'll, but if I keep this up they'll put me in the booby hatch.

 

 

PS  I'm not saying that Miss Sparkle should wear a size 5X sweatshirt to cover her assets, but there are ways for large bosom-ed ladies to dress attractively and effectively without looking as though she's smuggling a flotation device underneath her five-year-old sister's sweater.

[designing1]

 

Do you think they were real or would a plastic surgeon really put something that big on someone that petite?

 

I'll address the second part of your question with two words: Michael Jackson. Three more: Kim Kardashian's ass. For some cash trumps all, so if they were fake, all she needed was to find a surgeon with a greater love of money than ethics. Probably not too difficult.

Edited December 19, 2014 by designing1

[AngelaHunter]

Absolutely prime snark here. Very nice indeed.

 

Did the JJ producers put out a cattle call for really dumb people? Today we had freaky little troll, Johnathan, who is a "legal assistant" and stood there lying (badly) right to a judge's face. I hope his employers watched this.

 

I was starting to sneer at that huge ball of yarn Tamisha had pinned to the top of her head, that is until I listened to James. He is a 23 year old college student who is unable to differentiate between right and left (!!) and who crashes a car all by his wittle self and blames the owner.

 

Kayla, you short-armed, tatted fool? I don't give a rat's ass what you're suing your erstwhile lover for. Get over it!

[Rick Kitchen]

Wow, four cases in half an hour.  JJ was on a roll today.

[AngelaHunter]

Methinks Ms. Sparkle is an exotic dancer.

 

I was think that too, but then couldn't picture her dancing without knocking herself out or falling over due to the hugely disproportionate weight between top and bottom. I think "lap dancer" is probably more accurate.

[AZChristian]

I was think that too, but then couldn't picture her dancing without knocking herself out or falling over due to the hugely disproportionate weight between top and bottom. I think "lap dancer" is probably more accurate.

 

I've never been to a club with exotic dancers, but I've seen them on TV.  Seems to me they do a lot of writhing around on the floor, straddling poles, and playing with their own upper torsos.  I bet Sparkle would do just fine.

[One Tough Cookie]

Did the JJ producers put out a cattle call for really dumb people

 

 

That's rhetorical, right?

[iwasish]

Wow, four cases in half an hour.  JJ was on a roll today.

I think it was sushi for lunch that day. JJ really gets them in and out when it's sushi day.

[how55]

And didn't she knock off 2 cases  & start the 3rd one before the 1st break? Wanted to get to the sushi while it was still fresh.

[BubblingKettle]

WHOA --- Mr. Cardoza got off so easy!  "Didn't you hear me, Ladyyy?"  "I take medication, and I bet you take medication.  No, I KNOW you take medication."  And he got off with just a chortle and a "You're crazy."  Okay, that was hilarious.  And WTF about his "life savings?"  He hasn't worked since age 39, flipped some (surely crappy) houses, has a string of ex-wives, he's still married to some woman, and he's got some desperate chick in a witness chair.  Maybe he has had a lot of lucrative slip-and-fall accidents, because he must have quite a life savings account. He was nuts. 

 

The little TV in my office broke on the day of Sparkle's case...I am still sore about it.  I have a new TV in here now, and I hope Sparkle's case is one of the holiday reruns.

[AngelaHunter]

WHOA --- Mr. Cardoza got off so easy!  "Didn't you hear me, Ladyyy?"  "I take medication, and I bet you take medication.  No, I KNOW you take medication."  And he got off with just a chortle and a "You're crazy."  Okay, that was hilarious.  And WTF about his "life savings?"  He hasn't worked since age 39, flipped some (surely crappy) houses, has a string of ex-wives, he's still married to some woman, and he's got some desperate chick in a witness chair.  Maybe he has had a lot of lucrative slip-and-fall accidents, because he must have quite a life savings account. He was nuts.

 

My thoughts exactly. There's something frightening going on when the runty, overly-medicated Mr. Cardoza, who is allergic to work, is a chick magnet. I know we have to consider the caliber and desperation level of the chicks, but still. Maybe they were drawn to the enormous stash of funds he saved from back when he was CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

 

Pretty good reruns, I must say. I had forgotten all about yesterday's "Repulsive Litigant of the Decade", the Dumbo-eared Mr. Cohen, a glib, slick grifter who quit his job to spend "quality time" with his nine year old son after his wife (who presented herself as likewise repulsive without saying a word) left to get paid to take care of her parents but couldn't care for the child. I guess no one was going to pay her for the kid. so to hell with him.

 

Anyway, that quality dad/son time included a period in a cheap motel, camping on someone's living room floor, then moving in with some woman whose name he doesn't know.

 

Mr. Cohen wanted 5000$ for whatever trash he left on the first woman's floor. Another case where I wish JJ had threatened a call to CPS. That dirtbag didn't even have the excuse of ignorance and lame-brained stupidity as do most other litigants who do reprehensible things. Hated him.

[iwasish]

My thoughts exactly. There's something frightening going on when the runty, overly-medicated Mr. Cardoza, who is allergic to work, is a chick magnet. I know we have to consider the caliber and desperation level of the chicks, but still. Maybe they were drawn to the enormous stash of funds he saved from back when he was CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

 

Pretty good reruns, I must say. I had forgotten all about yesterday's "Repulsive Litigant of the Decade", the Dumbo-eared Mr. Cohen, a glib, slick grifter who quit his job to spend "quality time" with his nine year old son after his wife (who presented herself as likewise repulsive without saying a word) left to get paid to take care of her parents but couldn't care for the child. I guess no one was going to pay her for the kid. so to hell with him.

 

Anyway, that quality dad/son time included a period in a cheap motel, camping on someone's living room floor, then moving in with some woman whose name he doesn't know.

 

Mr. Cohen wanted 5000$ for whatever trash he left on the first woman's floor. Another case where I wish JJ had threatened a call to CPS. That dirtbag didn't even have the excuse of ignorance and lame-brained stupidity as do most other litigants who do reprehensible things. Hated him.

It really amazes me as to what a person will subject their child to and still proclaim themselves as a stellar parent, yet if it had been done to them during childhood, they'd be collecting all kinds of disability and governments handouts due to the anxiety they suffered that renders them damaged for life.

[Florinaldo]

I really appreciated Mr. Cardoza telling off JJ and saying out loud what we all know deep down, i.e. that she is "making up stories" because that is the only way she can manage to make sense, in her America, of the cases presented to her.

 

Otherwise, he was a few logs short of a load I think.

Edited December 24, 2014 by Florinaldo

[Brooklynista]

I've always hated the way JJ makes people prove where they get money from. I have tenants and most still pay in cash. I have quite a bit of cash in the house at all times. If I lent a friend money I wouldn't be able to "prove" where I got the money from. I just have it. My safe doesn't print ATM receipts. Does that make me a liar? Does that mean I never gave the friend money?

She actually act s as if it's an impossibility that someone would just have a couple hundred dollars in cash that wasn't in the bank.

I guess in "her America" all us little people all hand our money to George Bailey down at the Savings and Loan?

Edited December 24, 2014 by Brooklynista

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

I've always hated the way JJ makes people prove where they get money from. I have tenants and most still pay in cash. I have quite a bit of cash in the house at all times. If I lent a friend money I wouldn't be able to "prove" where I got the money from. I just have it. My safe doesn't print ATM receipts. Does that make me a liar? Does that mean I never gave the friend money?

I also work a few side gigs here and there (as a musician) and I put that money away in my house - I call it my "slush" fund and it's hidden away. A big chunk of it went for extensive dental work and I showed up for the first treatment with a wad of $2500 (BTW I did get a 10% discount for paying in cash). However I always get a receipt for any money I dole out because it's damn hard enough to make it. IMHO many JJ litigants are involved in a fluid give-and-take of money/services/ etc (I pay your bail, you declare my kid on your taxes, I babysit your kid, you do my hair, etc, etc). It must still seem very foreign to JJ. 

[Milz]

I think JJ's problem is with people paying cash, it's with people who pay large amounts of cash and don't have a receipt to prove it. I work in a doctor's office and we have folks who pay their copays in cash. We give receipts regardless of whether it's a $5 or $30 amount mainly to keep our books in order. But we've had some people who've stated they lost their receipt and needed a copy of it because they had to show that receipt to an unnamed third party (sometimes it's best not to ask questions). 

 

RE: Mr. Cardoza

 

Over the years, I've noticed if the litigant is a genuine whackadoodle, JJ doesn't get too snarky with them. Probably because she knows these people can have a mental breakdown if pushed too hard and, perhaps, even become violent. So I figure the people with whom she lets snark at her are broken pots, as opposed to being merely cracked.

[Florinaldo]

Like JJ, I also lose much of my sympathy, if any was there initially, for people who use the "I paid cash" as an excuse for not having proof of payment. Even if you don't have a pre-printed receipt book, it does not take that long or much effort to improvise a receipt by scribling something on a piece of paper and having it dated and signed by the money's recipient. It's one of the most basic rules of conducting business, even with people you trust implicitely; they can die, get dementia, change their attitude about you, or any other reason which could leave you in a lurch with their estate or in a legal dispute.

 

Of course, many people who appear before JJ don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, so the concept of written receipts is probably beyond their ability to comprehend.

 

I have no problem believing that some people prefer cash, keeping big amounts of money in their home. However, that money must have come from somewhere initially and there should be a trace of it in most cases (except where people get their pay under the table with no income tax or other deductions being collected).

Edited December 24, 2014 by Florinaldo

[AngelaHunter]

I think JJ's problem is with people paying cash, it's with people who pay large amounts of cash and don't have a receipt to prove it

 

Agree. When I used to rent, the thought of going to my landlord's place each month and paying him in cash never entered my mind. I kept my money in a bank and wrote cheques, but of course I didn't need to hide my money because I didn't have warrants for unpaid tickets, wasn't a welfare cheat, ducking child support or owing a chunk to the government.

 

When people say they go to their utility providers each month, with a pocketful of cash, pay that way and don't bother asking a receipt, something stinks somewhere. I remember one foolish bitch who tried to convince JJ that Honda demanded their monthy payments in cash. Right.

[AuntiePam]

When people say they go to their utility providers each month, with a pocketful of cash, pay that way and don't bother asking a receipt, something stinks somewhere. I remember one foolish bitch who tried to convince JJ that Honda demanded their monthy payments in cash. Right.

I work for a utility provider and I've had this happen.  I have to insist that the customer hang around long enough for me to write a receipt.  "I don't need a receipt -- I trust you!"  Too weird. 

[Trini]

Even if you prefer paying/receiving in cash, do people not understand the need of a paper trail?? Well, clearly not or half these cases wouldn't make it here!