All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"We all was living in New York at the time."

Aw, and you were doing so well, Natasha!

[Guest]

2 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

JJ forced her to waddle down the aisle and GTFO

Five minutes. Five minutes giggling at this line.

 

2 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

I know his new ladylove appeared to be well past breeding age

Remember, she was a (pseudo) Judge Judy litigant. She's probably 28. 

Kyle Keiser = Private First Class Turd. 

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"So you brought her here to be annoying."

*witness starts to speak*

"I didn't ask you anything! This is not an audition."

[basiltherat]

Everybody knows that when these losahs bring their new main squeezes, its to annoy their exes with a not-so-subtle "see what I bagged."  (Bag being the operative word)

[AngelaHunter]

Two in a row - stupid babies who want to be great big grown up people, so they move in together and start breeding but need their daddies to pay their bills, fix their beater cars, etc. Then of course the stupid babies crack under the pressure of playing house and run back to mommy and/or daddy. Romance finished but daddy wants the thousands of dollars he rained on Darling Daughter and her dopey, ex/con, ex-beau Reminds me of when I was about 7 or so, playing house with my friends: "I want to be the mommy! You can be the daddy!" I wasn't still at that game at 25 or 30 though, and our games never allowed for incarcerated baby daddies. Good times!

1 hour ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

"So you brought her here to be annoying."

*witness starts to speak*

"I didn't ask you anything! This is not an audition."

Oh, my hopes were dashed. I was waiting, highly anticipating JJ was going to give the goofball def's  g/f  in the tacky dress the boot too.

 

1 hour ago, Giant Misfit said:

Remember, she was a (pseudo) Judge Judy litigant. She's probably 28. 

Oh, silly me. Maybe she's even 19. This show has featured some of the most shop-worn teenagers on the planet.

[Guest]

13 hours ago, DoctorK said:

However, what in the world was he wearing?

That sweater was a cross between Mad Max armageddon wear and a sad, first-time attempt at cosplaying an attendee at an early-90s NIN concert.

[Mondrianyone]

On 1/15/2018 at 10:15 PM, SnarkyTart said:

Did you see the preview for tomorrow's show with the incarcerated car mechanic Anton Lavey-wannabe?  Brrrr!  It ended in a freeze frame of satan giving JJ the evil death stare of damnation.   I can't wait!

All the likes for the Anton LaVey mention.  Someone I haven't thought of in decades.  (Although that's probably a good thing.)

[AngelaHunter]

7 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

That sweater was a cross between Mad Max armageddon wear and a sad, first-time attempt at cosplaying an attendee at an early-90s NIN concert.

How did I not notice that? A rewatch is in order.

[momtoall]

16 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Oh, my hopes were dashed. I was waiting, highly anticipating JJ was going to give the goofball def's  g/f  in the tacky dress the boot too

Once again JJ's inconsistencies rears its ugly head.  The episode before she threw the def's new gf out because she had nothing to contribute to the case.  The same was true with this new gf but she was allowed to stay.  Not sure why the gf's were treated differently.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Rerun with the Attack of the Limo Bitch. I've met women like the older one with the bad dye job, the one who changed the night's plans without consulting the other woman and then accused her kids of being bullies.

[AngelaHunter]

4 hours ago, momtoall said:

  The episode before she threw the def's new gf out because she had nothing to contribute to the case.  The same was true with this new gf but she was allowed to stay.  Not sure why the gf's were treated differently.

Maybe she hated one more than the other. Since neither of them should have been there and had nothing to contribute, I guess it doesn't matter if her ejection of one of them seems arbitrary.

[7isBlue]

7 hours ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Rerun with the Attack of the Limo Bitch. I've met women like the older one with the bad dye job, the one who changed the night's plans without consulting the other woman and then accused her kids of being bullies.

She was horrible. I know exactly the type of nasty little bitch she was in school.  I think that hair was actually a bad wig! It had a synthetic sheen and was way too dark for her complexion. I think she wanted to disguise herself for tv. 

[funky-rat]

7 hours ago, 7isBlue said:

She was horrible. I know exactly the type of nasty little bitch she was in school.  I think that hair was actually a bad wig! It had a synthetic sheen and was way too dark for her complexion. I think she wanted to disguise herself for tv. 

Oh yes.  When the kid of the DEF couldn't see, the mom said "We don't like complainers".  Because it's all about her kid, and screw everyone else.  I was most disturbed by the way the mom practically pimped her daughter out for backstage passes.

[Mondrianyone]

8 hours ago, 7isBlue said:

I think that hair was actually a bad wig! It had a synthetic sheen and was way too dark for her complexion.

I think we all concluded the same thing, back when this case first aired.  Discussion started around here and continued for several pages, on and off.  There were some pretty colorful descriptions of the wig, which I just reread and enjoyed a lot.  Definitely worth revisiting.  Especially when you should be working.  (And by "you" I of course mean "me.")

[Intocats]

I thought Kenneth Scalir looked (unfortunately) familiar, and sure enough:

He appears to be a veteran of TV dating shows:

[AngelaHunter]

Intocats, you are my new hero! This is awesome.

All you picky ladies here, looked what you missed out on. YOU could have been co-habiting for the last 20 years with Ken, in his government subsidized 1-bedroom love nest apartment where you could bunk with him on the sofa while a total stranger occupies your bedroom. Ah, the path not chosen... :(

[Intocats]

2 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Intocats, you are my new hero! This is awesome.

All you picky ladies here, looked what you missed out on. YOU could have been co-habiting for the last 20 years with Ken, in his government subsidized 1-bedroom love nest apartment where you could bunk with him on the sofa while a total stranger occupies your bedroom. Ah, the path not chosen... :(

Yes, but there’s still time! He’s most likely still single, and he’s sexier than ever!

[vibeology]

This sort of person is the one I find the most fascinating. He's a mess in every sense and barely able to string together a sentence but he knows the laws that protect himself as a renter down to the specific number. Come on with that. Use that skill to get your life together. Stop skating by on technicalities.

I will say that I do think he was right about the back rent. If someone is trying to evict you they're not going to take your money because that weakens their case. I absolutely believe that in a case like that the renter is supposed to put money aside every month and if they get to stay have to pay it all back in a big chunk.

[SRTouch]

2 minutes ago, vibeology said:

This sort of person is the one I find the most fascinating. He's a mess in every sense and barely able to string together a sentence but he knows the laws that protect himself as a renter down to the specific number. Come on with that. Use that skill to get your life together. Stop skating by on technicalities.

I will say that I do think he was right about the back rent. If someone is trying to evict you they're not going to take your money because that weakens their case. I absolutely believe that in a case like that the renter is supposed to put money aside every month and if they get to stay have to pay it all back in a big chunk.

Yeah, I thought the same thing... defendant ate the steak, so he owes his portion of the back rent plaintiff paid.  Course JJ was really, in my opinion, using her ruling to punish plaintiff for breaking the rules for all those other tenants/sub-leasees for 20 years. Perhaps it would have been better for her to just declare he had dirty hands and dismiss the case.... ah, but then she'd have to face accusations of interfering with the eviction court ruling. We didn't hear much of that case, rightfully, but seems he won the right to stay - though he had to pay. Actually, that eviction proceeding may have been more interesting than the JJ case... or maybe not, since that judge probably didn't express appropriate outrage at plaintiff, who as you say has the rules down pat.

[Sarcastico]

Was the defendant mentally challenged? 

Plus, when JJ asked him about his possessions that Mr. Scalir was holding hostage, he listed "antiques."  Antiques?  He has antiques?  I hope he was just misusing the word and was really talking about old, useless junk.  His hallterview was one of the strangest I've seen lately: "I just wanna work hard and be rewarded for my hard work." 

The following bail/DUI case was just as good.  Can't remember a case where the audience gasped twice: first, at the defendant for doing 127 mph; and second, at the audacity of the defendant for blaming the plaintiff for his DUI because she asked him to come pick her up.

[basiltherat]

He was in a 127 mph hurry to do the horizontal mambo with her before she changed her mind.  Ain't no speedin' limit on lurve!

[NYCFree]

One interesting issue that wasn't discussed in the rent controlled roommate case, the plaintiff said he had an "SRO" then added that he didn't know what the initials stood for. An SRO is Single Room Occupancy. Here is NYC, it is literally a single room. In my former building, (a converted brownstone) the SROs were the former servants' quarters. They were one single room that had a sink, mini fridge and hot plate and shared a common bathroom. They were the only apartments where, by law, they couldn't have a roommate. The Square footage was too small to legally inhabit more than one person. The apartment the plaintiff described was a one bedroom. I can't imagine why California would give that an SRO status.

[Mondrianyone]

That SRO business was confusing to me, too.  And JJ didn't seem to know what the abbreviation stood for, which would be odd from a born NYer--unless her life was always so privileged that SROs were never on her radar.  When I was just out of college, I lived in a converted hotel on West 98th Street--the Schuyler Arms (sounds grand, doesn't it?), and it was called an SRO hotel.  But the apartment we had was a one-bedroom with a living room and a closet-size kitchen, so not in fact a single room.  The only way I can imagine a one-bedroom being designated as an SRO would be if other dwellings in the building were SROs, so the entire building somehow falls under the same rubric.

[Sarcastico]

It was strange that JJ didn't pursue the SRO angle, NYCFree.  As a New Yorker, wouldn't she have known what it meant?  She must have known, and asked the defendant in order to trap him. I grew up in the NYC area and heard the term frequently on the news and in the papers because Times Square used to be filled with old hotels that were designated as SROs.  They were full of retired people. Whenever redevelopment plans for Times Square were discussed in the 1970s-80s, there was always the question of where they would have to be relocated. Color me shocked when he said it was Sherman Oaks, Calif.

[AngelaHunter]

4 hours ago, Sarcastico said:

Was the defendant mentally challenged? 

I first thought the plaintiff was, with all the weird hand thing going on, but def left no doubt.  Anyway, I may be dead wrong, but can't imagine any landlord telling a tenent (who has consistantly broken the rules and endangered other tenants by sneaking in unapproved strangers) "We're going to evict you but in the meantime, we don't want you to pay rent. You just keep it all for yourself, even though you profited by scamming a shitload of taxpayers' money all these years and you live in the premises."

 

4 hours ago, Sarcastico said:

Antiques?  He has antiques?  I hope he was just misusing the word and was really talking about old, useless junk. 

There's lots of people who think anything old is an antique, never mind that a lot of true antiques have little value.

4 hours ago, Sarcastico said:

defendant for doing 127 mph; and second, at the audacity of the defendant for blaming the plaintiff for his DUI because she asked him to come pick her up.

He didn't see that as a bad thing. In fact he seemed to think it was cute, and of course it's not his fault. Nothing anyone does is their fault, ever. And of course he was arrested again. No biggie, that's just life, right?

 

5 hours ago, vibeology said:

He's a mess in every sense and barely able to string together a sentence but he knows the laws that protect himself as a renter down to the specific number.

That always gets me. How many times have we seen parasites here who literally cannot speak one sentence properly yet can quote verbatim every rule, section by section,  outlining their "rights" as it pertains to forcing Byrd to support them.  

[AuntiePam]

Today's dog-bite case was unusual -- a defendant who knew better than to argue or make up a story about what happened.  She knew that TV was gonna pay the damages, so she just shut up and took her medicine. 

[AngelaHunter]

Monique, who does nothing all day and likes to drink, sincerely wishes that "things could get squashed and tooken care of. " Ah, Monique - if wishes were horses...

[Guest]

On 1/19/2018 at 0:18 PM, Mondrianyone said:

I lived in a converted hotel on West 98th Street--the Schuyler Arms

Did you know these ladies?

 

[Mondrianyone]

For all you know, I might be one of those ladies!

Sadly, no, wrong city, wrong hotel.  I think they lived at the Susan B. Anthony (don't know why I remember that).  If they'd been in NYC, it would've been the Barbizon Plaza.

My boyfriend and I were the only people under sixty at the Schuyler Arms.  One of the old gentlemen was a former Wobbly (International Workers of the World).  You learn so much when you talk to old people--as I now know from the other end of the spectrum.

If we knew that Judge Judy was going to be a thing years later, we wouldn't have taken in all those illegal roommates!

[AngelaHunter]

Isn't that Tom Hanks in a wig and looking more stylish than many a litigant?

[Guest]

Just now, AngelaHunter said:

Isn't that Tom Hanks in a wig and looking more stylish than many a litigant?

It is! It's Hanks and Peter Scolari from one of my most favorite sitcoms ever, Bosom Buddies. @Mondrianyone's post reminded me of the show. (They, in fact, "lived" in the Susan B. Anthony Hotel in NYC.)

My DVR picked up the rerun of the two codgers from Sherman Oaks, California who were fighting over some (I presume) gold digger who, wisely, chose not to participate in the show. Honestly, the longer I live, the more I realize that some humans can just never evolve past the mentality of your average 8th grader. These pillars of the community (one was a tech company CEO and the other a "limousine executive") were in their 60s! 

[AZChristian]

15 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

a tech company CEO and the other a "limousine executive"

Someone who plays Candy Crush all day, and a taxi driver???

[Mondrianyone]

17 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

It is! It's Hanks and Peter Scolari from one of my most favorite sitcoms ever, Bosom Buddies. @Mondrianyone's post reminded me of the show. (They, in fact, "lived" in the Susan B. Anthony Hotel in NYC.)

Was it NYC?  I remembered it as L.A.  I'm batting .500 on my Bosom Buddies trivia.  I loved that show, too.  I guess Peter Scolari was too short to go on to Hanks-level stardom, but they were both great.  And their wig game is definitely superior to most JJ litigants'.  Less facial hair than some, too.

[Guest]

14 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

Was it NYC?  I remembered it as L.A.

Yeah, it was in NYC. They worked at an advertising agency -- maybe Madison Avenue? 

 

24 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Someone who plays Candy Crush all day, and a taxi driver???

HA! This is completely likely. What killed me was when JJ lectured the 67-year old Defendant about having a 7-year old son. She basically told him he had no business having children at his age. His other children were in their late 30s. Stupid codger.

[basiltherat]

In today's new episode JJ asked why the lovely Bernese Mountain dog wasn't spayed, the def claimed his vet said not until he was four years old.  JJ said would you wait until a human was 26 years old.  Byrd gave her such a side eye and muttered "ouch."  I swear I laughed so loud I'm sure my neighbors heard it.  Byrd, don't change.

[Guest]

35 minutes ago, basiltherat said:

 

In today's new episode JJ asked why the lovely Bernese Mountain dog wasn't spayed, the def claimed his vet said not until he was four years old. 

 

I would really love to know why this guy was such an atrocious garbage human. Honestly. He got a FREE dog. A FREE foreign body removal surgery. And his own FREE pass on allowing her to show the dog or to use him as a stud. What an entitled jerk. I was hoping JJ forced him to give the dog back. And as for that "vet says I can't neuter him until he's four?" No, that never happened. No vet would say that. EVER. God. He pissed me off. 

Amateur thespian Norm Herzenstein grated my last nerve, too. Nice try flinging back the "don't pee on my leg..." quote to JJ there, chief. His hallterview was the kicker, "I like tequila." 

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, Giant Misfit said:

I would really love to know why this guy was such an atrocious garbage human. Honestly. He got a FREE dog. A FREE foreign body removal surgery. And his own FREE pass on allowing her to show the dog or to use him as a stud. What an entitled jerk. I was hoping JJ forced him to give the dog back. And as for that "vet says I can't neuter him until he's four?" No, that never happened. No vet would say that. EVER. God. He pissed me off. 

I wish plaintiff had made a case for "We invested in the dog's surgery to make it more valuable as a show dog/stud."  Then she might have gotten more money from the defendant.

[Guest]

54 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I wish plaintiff had made a case for "We invested in the dog's surgery to make it more valuable as a show dog/stud."  Then she might have gotten more money from the defendant.

Good point!

And what did lesson did Mr Entitlement learn after the Plaintiff paid for a foreign body removal surgery? Clearly none since he thought it was quite clever showing JJ the video of the dog eating the wrapping paper off his "present." Not that paper is an obstruction hazard per se but it's still teaching the dog it's ok to eat shit it shouldn't be eating. 

Aaaaaand...I'm still fuming.

[patty1h]

I cringed when the pink-haired dog seller did the sneak approach to the bench while Byrd's back was turned, to show JJ pics of her dogs.  I looked at Byrd's face when he turned around and Pinky was halfway to handing JJ her tablet - that was a nuclear level death stare.   I know Judge Milian will tell people to stop when she sees them coming towards her, but JJ leaves that job to the bailiff.

[funky-rat]

13 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

Good point!

And what did lesson did Mr Entitlement learn after the Plaintiff paid for a foreign body removal surgery? Clearly none since he thought it was quite clever showing JJ the video of the dog eating the wrapping paper off his "present." Not that paper is an obstruction hazard per se but it's still teaching the dog it's ok to eat shit it shouldn't be eating. 

Aaaaaand...I'm still fuming.

Especially since Burmese Mountain Dogs are prone to digestive issues.  I don't know if anyone here watches "Little People, Big World" but Tori Roloff had a Burmese Mountain Dog, and he died very suddenly and unexpectedly of a stomach ailment while she was very pregnant with their son.  

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"She bought me a pack of Marlboro Reds and a twenty dollar bag of weed."
"At the same place?"
"...No."

[Florinaldo]

Funniest line of the day: JJ saying "your numbers will not be working for you sir", followed by a cackle of superiority. Does she really fancy herself as a whiz in crunching numbers now, despite past evidence? I half expected her to add "I am a math genius, and a very stable one at that".

[DoctorK]

Quote

I half expected her to add "I am a math genius, and a very stable one at that".

She is pretty good at arithmetic, but gets lost on anything deeper. It annoys me when people claim to be good at "math" when they display a minimal competence with adding and subtracting. Call yourself good at math when you can use basic calculus (I hit my wall at tensor calculus, I just didn't have the ability to use it; fortunately my field didn't require it, I just had to fake it through my comprehensives).

[AngelaHunter]

I'm really behind, but TPTB who are choosing these litigants need to rethink their choices. LaTrae buys some old car and never registers it then gets his license suspended but needs the old car to drive his "god-dad" around because God-dad got HIS license suspended and then friend wrecks the car and, oh, who cares? LaTrae was trying to argue his case and why he deserves 5K even as Byrd is ushering him OUT.

Didn't see the Bernese Mountain dog case and have no wish to, but big, deep-chested breeds are susceptible to stomach torsions in which the stomach bloats and literally twists around and will result in death if untreated. This condition is often caused by people who feed dogs one huge meal a day, usually of cheap food.

Edited January 24, 2018 by AngelaHunter

[AngelaHunter]

7 minutes ago, DoctorK said:

I hit my wall at tensor calculus,

Whoa. I hit my wall at anything past "16 + 16 = 32".

[Brattinella]

When did "god-dad" become a thing?

[AngelaHunter]

2 minutes ago, Brattinella said:

When did "god-dad" become a thing?

And they both have suspended licenses. How delightfully twee.

[Quof]

The same time we got godsisters and godbrothers.  And "cousins," "brothers" and "sisters" who are actually not related by blood, marriage or adoption.    And places where people "stay" rather than "live". 

[Brattinella]

10 minutes ago, Quof said:

The same time we got godsisters and godbrothers.  And "cousins," "brothers" and "sisters" who are actually not related by blood, marriage or adoption.    And places where people "stay" rather than "live". 

Hmm I don't have any of those.  Only a godfather and godmother.  Present at my christening.

[AngelaHunter]

27 minutes ago, Quof said:

And places where people "stay" rather than "live". 

JJ-Land is a kind of half-world where no one really owns anything or has a lease in their own name, gets paid by legit checks with deductions, a place where they pay everything in cash and constantly "work on" getting insurance but never have it and acquire ancient"vee-hickles" through convoluted bartering schemes, and where "talking" = having sex with a near-stranger without benefit of birth control, ever.

20 minutes ago, Brattinella said:

Hmm I don't have any of those.  Only a godfather and godmother. 

I never even had those. No "street uncles" even.