All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Quote

I was asked for a retainer of $2,500 and it was explained to me that every phone call, email or meeting would be billed by the minute. So if I called with a question, I was charged for the # of minutes on the phone. My lawyer explained that I should right down all my questions as they came up, and to make one phone call to cover them all.

I learned this the hard way during my divorce. I had gone through a low cost attorney (from the county) and my Ex decided not to honor the mediation agreement. There was a long volley of emails back and forth to my attorney and I was charged $15 for each one, money I didn't have. Thankfully my attorney let me pay in installments but I learned to complain to my friends for free instead. 

[Spunkygal]

Six Flags: I was so mesmerized by the huge blue eye on the defendant's breastbone that I couldn't pay attention to the case. That was so strange. I wonder what the rest of the tattoo was! 

[Florinaldo]

The dog owner plaintiff today was an affirmation of the cliché "it's not the dog, it's the owner". She seemed to think that rules apply to everyone else but not to her, and that they exist only to help her flutter through life as she pleases. All other people in the park should bend to her will. Good thing she got booted on her ass. I wonder if her distracting tattoo was recent or a youthful mistake.

It's always amusing when a litigant knows that video evidence is going to be shown, but still takes a chance on lying, probably betting that the recording will be inconclusive. No such luck for the frumpy lady defendant in the other case. And she even continued to say after JJ had the clip played twice that she did not hit P's car, until JJ forced her to go stand close to the screen and watch it a third time.

 

2 hours ago, Brattinella said:

He (as a LAWYER) charges $350 per hour for his services.  So, he has his associate, a female LAWYER, do HIS JOB for $25 per hour.  What's not to hate?

I doubt that he pockets the whole 350 $ for his sole personal use. Fees billed serve to pay overhead and general expenses, and to meet the payroll – I assume they are not the only people working for the firm. She is an adult and she agreed to her terms of employment, whether because of personal circumstances or in light of the job market. Just as the client is an adult who signed a contract.

 

4 hours ago, lovesnark said:

He did start to say something about the compensation package of the young associate, but JJ cut him off.

Surely our dear sweet JJ would never act so brusquely...

[Toaster Strudel]

Bumpty Hoopty - Dry mouthed liar denies, denies, and denies some more hitting the plaintiff's car with her Garbage Mobile. You know Judge Judy has been doing this show for  far too long when she picks up non-words like "overlapsed insurance" and uses them like they're legit. The defendant was infuriating (and entertaining) because she would say something and contradict herself in the next sentence. Yes she had insurance. But it was overlapsed. So, she had insurance! She just didn't pay for it... and no license, I wonder why. Yes she did pay the ticket for no insurance, even though she had no insurance, but, erm, she didn't pay the ticket... even though she did! After seeing her Hoarder Junker hit the car on the video, she agreed she hit it, but no she didn't hit it. Besides she couldn't have done that damage. JJ then orders her to waddle over to watch the TV with her nose touching it. She sees the collision again... and she still babbles about not having touched it. The counterclaim for kidnapping was a hoot. Miss No-License-No-Insurance was definitely plotting a hit and run with her Vehicular Landfill. Thank you JJ for using the defendant's boyfriend Yosemite Sam in a legal example to show she was rightfully held up, and not kidnapped. 4.5 COLLIDING GAVELS.

Phone Plan Christmas - Judge Judy, you're not alone hating phone cases. "You don't have to buy me anything since you've been so generous" does not turn a loan into a gift. This case earns ONE GAVEL solely for JJ mocking and repeating the defendant's insolent, nasal "Whaddyamean?"

Hairy Beach Appetizer - Little dog off-leash, 60 yards from negligent plaintiff, goes off to pester a pitbull (I'm guessing, but I'm guessing right) who now has to be muzzled and leashed at all times, and gets half eaten for his initiative. Yes the plaintiff was being totally legal. Jumping out of a 12th floor window is also legal, but it's not the pavement's fault when I hit it and turn into a human pancake. But your honor, look at this cute picture of my dogbaby wearing a life jacket! I'm so responsible! No you're not. She should be well aware that on a beach with unleashed dogs, there is a fair chance her canine hors d'oeuvre will come across a mauler waiting for a snack unencumbered of chewy collars and leashes. Plaintiff has to eat the $4000+ vet fees. 3.5 GAVELS.

Where Do I Sign Up For The Six Flags Meal Plan? - Is that for real? For $300 a year, you can have 3 meals a day at Six Flags for the whole year? Why doesn't the government team up with Six Flags and ditch the food stamps? That's 27 cents a meal! The defendant was nasty. Entitled, bold, and cranky. Could it be a side effect of the Six Flag diet of cotton candy, chili dogs and frozen fries? 3.5 GAVELS, and no more "free rides!"

[iwasish]

1 hour ago, Spunkygal said:

Six Flags: I was so mesmerized by the huge blue eye on the defendant's breastbone that I couldn't pay attention to the case. That was so strange. I wonder what the rest of the tattoo was! 

I don’t think a seasons pass to Six Flags  includes the 3 free meals a day. I thought  it was an upgrade. 140 for a season pass (unlimited visits for the season) is a bargain when one day pass is about 75-80 bucks. I’ve got to do some research but I’m sure 3 meals( what constitutes a meal?) has got to add to the cost. 

[AngelaHunter]

6 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Dry mouthed liar denies, denies, and denies some more hitting the plaintiff's car with her Garbage Mobile.

Oh, gee - I HATED that overly-toothy, smirking, wide-load hideous little troll, Griffol. However, she gave us yet another excuse for not having insurance, even though she initially claimed to have it. Her insurance "over-lapsed" which is distinct from "over-lapped" or even plain old "lapped."

 

9 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

JJ then orders her to waddle over to watch the TV

Okay, maybe the plaintiff was irritating, especially when he wanted to give his entire backstory of the girlfriend and so on, but I snickered madly as he described how def. "waddled" to her shitbox. I really wanted to hear from her hollow-eyed, gray-faced lovah boy. Unfortunately we were denied that pleasure. I also enjoyed Byrd cracking up at the plaintiff's autobiographical speech that was cut short with JJ's "TMI".

 

11 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

ONE GAVEL solely for JJ mocking and repeating the defendant's insolent, nasal "Whaddyamean?"

Yes, that was the only good part in the uber-boring Great Millenial Cellphone War between "Ashlie" and "Cheyanne"(another dumb wide-load troll). I can't believe anyone would let Cheyanne manage a bowling alley. She doesn't seem quite bright enough to do that but she needs the phone in case there's a bowling alley emergency and they need in get in touch with her asap. But yeah - who doesn't call their best friend and ask, "Where do you get your insurance because I insist on paying your premium?" I do that all the time.

 

14 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

The defendant was nasty. Entitled, bold, and cranky. Could it be a side effect of the Six Flag diet of cotton candy, chili dogs and frozen fries

Hey, she's a Sainted Single Mother who feels she should spend her days goofing around at Six Flags and feeding her face. She's entitled to that and her 22-year old cousin should foot the bill.

[sol y luna]

The woman today was an irresponsible effing clueless MORON to let her small dog be so far away from her. I'm glad JJ ripped her a new one. She was TOTALLY responsible for her dog being injured. People like her shouldn't own a pet. She reminds me of someone who NEVER takes the blame for doing the wrong thing.

On ‎5‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 4:12 PM, PsychoKlown said:

I could not agree more.

And while I am not versed in what attorneys charge I was cranky enough to think that JJ was a coming down a bit hard on him.  He was trying to explain to her how they arrived at that figure and she was having none of it.  Perplexed too because she pounced on "hearsay" with the attorney yet let the plaintiff tell her what the police/police dispatcher said.  Isn't that hearsay also?

There was a part of me that was hoping the attorney would have said something to the effect that who is she to judge what he charges?  He has to go to the courthouse (and unlike JJ does not have a private plane to get him there!) and he has to deal with the assorted crazies while she sits on her bony ass making approximately three million a month for less than five days of work. 

I know he would never say that, in fact I think he complimented her...but for the past two months JJ has not been appointment tv with me.  She's not just body slamming the losers she is genuinely mean to people when it is unnecessary.  

And while I'm ranting one more thing she says that really jars my potatoes - I am uncomfortable when she make the comment "Whatever you have I don't see it".  I think it is not only mean spirited but emphasizes that a large bank account does not equal dignity.  Several times she has said this when it was completely unnecessary. 

Just disappointed with her.  She used to filet and dice the jerks with a velvet glove - now, she's a crabby old woman who probably needs to think about retirement.

LOVE JJ - she ALWAYS gets it right. The attorney was a typical a hole lawyer who overbills. Glad he only got $1000.

[BusyOctober]

Okay, I live in Massachusetts where both the idiot ‘responsible’ dog owner and the shady Six Flags cuz reside.  Not much to say about the dog case because JJ was right.  It is her fault for letting her dog stray so far away when she knew other dogs were also allowed to roam off leash.  She took the risk.  Wingaersheek Beach is lovely, but there are a lot of entitled pain in the asses there...we used to call them ‘Thurston & Loveys’ when we went.

As for Six Flags case...never been to any of their parks.  The one here in Mass has a bad rep for a lot of gang related problems such as stabbing, fights, arrests.  Anyway, I too was curious about the defendant’s description of the season passes and the too good to be true meal passes.  If I heard correctly, she said the $140 season pass included unlimited park entry and “3 meals a day” for every day you enter the park.  Multiplied by 4 = $560. I looked up prices, and things must have changed drastically between her 2017 rates and current 2018.  A basic season pass (for park entry only) is regularly $190 for unlimited days during the season..  The basic meal plan is separate, and also regularly $190.  It includes lunch, dinner & a snack ea visit to the park. In my old school math, that comes to $380 pp! Times FOUR!!! That’s $1520!  I know any case involving accurate calculation of who owes what on this show is as rare as finding a unicorn, but that is a big discrepancy.  

[jilliannatalia]

1 hour ago, BusyOctober said:

Okay, I live in Massachusetts where both the idiot ‘responsible’ dog owner and the shady Six Flags cuz reside.  Not much to say about the dog case because JJ was right.  It is her fault for letting her dog stray so far away when she knew other dogs were also allowed to roam off leash.  She took the risk.  Wingaersheek Beach is lovely, but there are a lot of entitled pain in the asses there...we used to call them ‘Thurston & Loveys’ when we went.

As for Six Flags case...never been to any of their parks.  The one here in Mass has a bad rep for a lot of gang related problems such as stabbing, fights, arrests.  Anyway, I too was curious about the defendant’s description of the season passes and the too good to be true meal passes.  If I heard correctly, she said the $140 season pass included unlimited park entry and “3 meals a day” for every day you enter the park.  Multiplied by 4 = $560. I looked up prices, and things must have changed drastically between her 2017 rates and current 2018.  A basic season pass (for park entry only) is regularly $190 for unlimited days during the season..  The basic meal plan is separate, and also regularly $190.  It includes lunch, dinner & a snack ea visit to the park. In my old school math, that comes to $380 pp! Times FOUR!!! That’s $1520!  I know any case involving accurate calculation of who owes what on this show is as rare as finding a unicorn, but that is a big discrepancy.  

I caught these cases, but I was making repeated trips into the house to transport sleeping children and belongings, so I didn't catch the entirety of the Six Flags case. Can anyone tell me the basics of that one?  That "three meals a day' at the amusement park did sound a bit too good to be true.

 

Holly Chiancola of the today's dog case truly annoyed me  and is someone to whom I am very glad not to be related.  She was certainly very confident regarding her own knowledge of the law and of how JJ should rule, but that was probably all she had going in her favor.  did she say sixty feet or sixty yards away? she kept trying to back off the distance, whatever it was, saying it was only an estimate. Either way, I wouldn't have half that distance between myself and my dog.

[jilliannatalia]

On 5/19/2018 at 4:05 PM, AZChristian said:

 

IIRC, the gentleman in that case reported making money by playing for churches, and what he said under oath was much less than the $1,420 he's allowed to make.  And we know that no one ever lies under oath on these court shows.  Right?

I'm not vouching for the guy's character, but it's unusual for church musicians in most locations to earn anything close to $1,420 monthly.  Some very large city churches may pay instrumentalists decent weekly stipends or salaries, and some megachurches pay "music ministers," whose duties may include playing instrumental music, almost a living wage.  some large city churches even pay the choir members. For a whole lot of churches, however, it's a weekly stipend between $100 and $200.

[SandyToes]

15 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Hairy Beach Appetizer - Little dog off-leash, 60 yards from negligent plaintiff, goes off to pester a pitbull (I'm guessing, but I'm guessing right) who now has to be muzzled and leashed at all times, and gets half eaten for his initiative. Yes the plaintiff was being totally legal. Jumping out of a 12th floor window is also legal, but it's not the pavement's fault when I hit it and turn into a human pancake. But your honor, look at this cute picture of my dogbaby wearing a life jacket! I'm so responsible! No you're not. She should be well aware that on a beach with unleashed dogs, there is a fair chance her canine hors d'oeuvre will come across a mauler waiting for a snack unencumbered of chewy collars and leashes. Plaintiff has to eat the $4000+ vet fees. 3.5 GAVELS.

 I am such a horrible person. I didn't see the case, but this recap has me in hysterics!    Poor dogs - both of them.  But the recap is priceless. Loved all of the recaps in this post and soooo sorry I missed the Bumpty Hoopty case!  Dang! If it was half as good as the recap, it would be one to save!

Edited May 23, 2018 by SandyToes

[WaitForMe]

On 5/21/2018 at 7:12 PM, PsychoKlown said:

I could not agree more.

And while I am not versed in what attorneys charge I was cranky enough to think that JJ was a coming down a bit hard on him.  He was trying to explain to her how they arrived at that figure and she was having none of it.  Perplexed too because she pounced on "hearsay" with the attorney yet let the plaintiff tell her what the police/police dispatcher said.  Isn't that hearsay also?

There was a part of me that was hoping the attorney would have said something to the effect that who is she to judge what he charges?  He has to go to the courthouse (and unlike JJ does not have a private plane to get him there!) and he has to deal with the assorted crazies while she sits on her bony ass making approximately three million a month for less than five days of work. 

I know he would never say that, in fact I think he complimented her...but for the past two months JJ has not been appointment tv with me.  She's not just body slamming the losers she is genuinely mean to people when it is unnecessary.  

And while I'm ranting one more thing she says that really jars my potatoes - I am uncomfortable when she make the comment "Whatever you have I don't see it".  I think it is not only mean spirited but emphasizes that a large bank account does not equal dignity.  Several times she has said this when it was completely unnecessary. 

Just disappointed with her.  She used to filet and dice the jerks with a velvet glove - now, she's a crabby old woman who probably needs to think about retirement.

My feelings EXACTLY!  I no longer have her on auto record.  I pick and choose and if she starts with the unnecessary meanness I just delete.   But I do watch most of the older shows. It seems the new ones are the worst. 

[pagooey]

13 hours ago, jilliannatalia said:

we used to call them ‘Thurston & Loveys’ when we went.

This made my entire day, jilliannatalia! Can you please borrow me this phrase, and I'll pay you when I get my taxes back? 

Meanwhile, I haven't been to a Six Flags in almost 30 years, but the thought of TRYING to eat three "meals" a day there, presumably between roller coasters, turns my entire digestive system inside-out. Gah. 

[Brattinella]

Okay, both yesterday and today, with about 20 min left in the episode, JJ was pre-empted by a fake jewelry clearance sale, from jtv?  Anyone else get an infomercial instead of the rest of JJ?  I am SO PISSED!  Is this just our local station?

[iwasish]

The defendant  had permission to charge 3 Season passes. She said they were 140 each. That sounds accurate according to their web site. The meal plans are an add  on and vary in cost. The one she described was the most expensive and the cost of it varies greatly depending on what “limited time only” deal is offered. I saw prices that varied from 95 to 210 per pass. So depending on what deal was in effect, she could have paid 140 plus 210. 350x3= 1050 plus tax . She paid him back 445 and he was being sued for 687.   445 + 687= 1132. Not sure what the tax and finance charges were but it’s  close enough. There is just no way 140 cover season pass PLUS 3 meals a day.

[Guest]

43 minutes ago, Brattinella said:

Okay, both yesterday and today, with about 20 min left in the episode, JJ was pre-empted by a fake jewelry clearance sale, from jtv?  Anyone else get an infomercial instead of the rest of JJ?  I am SO PISSED!  Is this just our local station?

It's a conspiracy Brat.

JJ read your unflattering comments a few days ago and she's going to show you she's the boss applesauce.

In the same vein in the early morning I start my jeep before I open the garage door.  While in some circles  "bony ass" could be taken as a compliment (taken from my earlier post)  I'm not taking any chances...she might have it in for me also.

[Spunkygal]

37 minutes ago, PsychoKlown said:

It's a conspiracy Brat.

JJ read your unflattering comments a few days ago and she's going to show you she's the boss applesauce.

In the same vein in the early morning I start my jeep before I open the garage door.  While in some circles  "bony ass" could be taken as a compliment (taken from my earlier post)  I'm not taking any chances...she might have it in for me also.

Who the hell is going to mess with a Psycho Klown?  

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Quote

I also enjoyed Byrd cracking up at the plaintiff's autobiographical speech that was cut short with JJ's "TMI".

That was the best part of the case! Could you imagine how hard Byrd would laugh if JJ said "Bye Felicia!" instead of her usual " Good - BYYYEEEEEEE" when people insist on hanging around after the verdict? 

Quote

I'm not vouching for the guy's character, but it's unusual for church musicians in most locations to earn anything close to $1,420 monthly.  

Church musician here. I get paid $60 per service for a smaller church here in Florida. (three services a weekend). I sing and play the organ. One service I have a choir that sings while I play and direct. The best part of the job is playing for funeral services, where I get $150 for about an hour's worth of work (playing and singing). I'm paid by the funeral home. Yes, I make part of my living singing for dead people's families. 

[AngelaHunter]

I have someone to cut trees down when needed and who prunes them for me. He has a company which is registered and insured. He's not the cheapest but does only what I ask and knows the difference between a maple and a beech and a healthy tree and sick one. He also requires I get a city permit if I need a tree cut down. I would never hire some guy I saw on the street to do this work for me, just because he has a chain saw and charges little. Plaintiff, Ms.McKibble, did that and got some character who came over and hacked her beautiful trees to bits. The son, who appeared to be mid-fifties yet lives with mom and dad, had no authority to direct or authorize the tree hacking and told chainsaw guy to wait for instructions from Mommy who was in Korea. He did not do so, and because he doesn't know one tree from another, or if they're dead or alive, he butchered the whole bunch, either on the tenf or the twentyif of the monf. The cheap really does come out expensive. Do people never learn?

"They they say that true love always faces obstacles." Such was case with the rough-looking Ms. Beurhouse and her former suitor, the equally rough looking Ervin, who collects SSI when he's not incarcerated (or maybe even while he's incarcerated?). Ms. Buerhouse should have known their love affair was off and on because as Ervin says, he's "in and out" of prison so often she can't expect him to be around all the time.

JJ to Ms.B: "Were you living together?"
Ms.B: "No, we wasn't."

Is "No, we wasn't" easier to say than "No, we weren't"? I don't get it, but anyway I see where this is going. I guess Ms. B got tired of her cold, empty bed and got a new loverboy during one of Ervin's "away" periods, which must have caused resentment and a broken heart in Ervin, who happened to be out of prison at that moment and was staying with his mommy. In his anguish, heartache and jealousy, he decided to slash all of Ms. B's tires. Oh, you krazy kids! Who wants to wager that Ervin is now in one of his "in" periods in the local slammer?

2 hours ago, Brattinella said:

JJ was pre-empted by a fake jewelry clearance sale, from jtv?

No kidding? And here I was getting all annoyed because my JJ was interrupted for the weekly high school shoot out, or the manhunt for well-endowed prisoners. Infomercials? Wow.

[iwasish]

My attention was drawn to his hands that were shaking uncontrollably. 

[jilliannatalia]

4 hours ago, pagooey said:

This made my entire day, jilliannatalia! Can you please borrow me this phrase, and I'll pay you when I get my taxes back? 

Meanwhile, I haven't been to a Six Flags in almost 30 years, but the thought of TRYING to eat three "meals" a day there, presumably between roller coasters, turns my entire digestive system inside-out. Gah. 

I think I quoted someone else on that one whose name was left out in the quote. Still, having watched as much JJ as I have, my morals have been warped. I'm more than willing to take credit and leave the original source out of it.  With it is  being what it is, it very clearly stated that I said it.  And since the phrase now belongs to me by virtue of finder's keepers (plus my rationale that the Internet says I said it, and if the Internet says it, it has to be true), I give you permission to use it as long as you pay me back when you get your tax refund. Being the kind soul that I sometimes am, I'll probably put you on my cell phone plan as well, and I may even take out a payday loan to help you bail out your sister-in-law's play uncle. We don't need a contract. If it goes to court, I can tell the judge what you knew and what you were thinking. She likes that sort of thing.

[Brattinella]

14 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

No kidding? And here I was getting all annoyed because my JJ was interrupted for the weekly high school shoot out, or the manhunt for well-endowed prisoners. Infomercials? Wow.

I wouldn't have minded so much except that the infomercial happened 15 min before the END!  So I didn't get to see the slashed tires one, but I did enjoy the ridiculous tree-murderer.

[AngelaHunter]

1 hour ago, jilliannatalia said:

If it goes to court, I can tell the judge what you knew and what you were thinking. She likes that sort of thing.

Stick a wad of gum in your mouth first and don't forget to start out with, "How ya doin'?" She likes that too. Then tell her you have proof because the godson of the woman across the street told you what happened.

1 hour ago, Brattinella said:

So I didn't get to see the slashed tires one

Probably just as well. The litigants were distasteful in the extreme.

1 hour ago, iwasish said:

My attention was drawn to his hands that were shaking uncontrollably. 

Ervin? Probably coming down from a binge of some sort.

[Brattinella]

Was Ervin the Lurch-like character?  I thought he was nodding on opiates.

[Silver Raven]

Did the plaintiff actually say that the defendant didn't know the difference between some <mumble> tree and a maraschino cherry tree?  Aren't maraschino cherries just sweetened cherries, not a particular tree?

[speac]

10 minutes ago, Silver Raven said:

Did the plaintiff actually say that the defendant didn't know the difference between some <mumble> tree and a maraschino cherry tree?  Aren't maraschino cherries just sweetened cherries, not a particular tree?

I thought he said yoshino cherry, the other was a wax myrtle. 

[Bramble]

8 minutes ago, Silver Raven said:

Did the plaintiff actually say that the defendant didn't know the difference between some <mumble> tree and a maraschino cherry tree?  Aren't maraschino cherries just sweetened cherries, not a particular tree?

It was a Wax Myrtle and a Yoshino cherry tree. (decorative flowering cherry tree)

[Silver Raven]

Hm.  Never heard of  yoshino cherry tree.  :)  I would be in the same boat as the defendant.

[Bramble]

4 minutes ago, Silver Raven said:

Hm.  Never heard of  yoshino cherry tree.  :)  I would be in the same boat as the defendant.

You’ve probably seen them though.  They’re pretty popular, most of the Japanese cherry trees with pretty pink flowers in the spring are probably Yoshino. He didn’t have to know the name to know it was an ornamental tree and not just brush. 

Edited May 24, 2018 by Bramble

[AngelaHunter]

23 minutes ago, Silver Raven said:

Aren't maraschino cherries just sweetened cherries, not a particular tree?

There ARE maraschino cherry trees! I learn so much in this forum.:)

 

[Toaster Strudel]

Mister Herman! - Sketchy realtor plaintiff shows up without evidence except some paperwork that JJ unceremoniously rejected as possibly fraudulent. Show. Me. The Harassment! Alas no supporting document of said harassment was forthcoming. It was, protested the discombobulated plaintiff, the "tone of his emails" which I take to means that the defendant didn't put enough smileys :) at the end of his sentences. The defendant had his act together, was smart, classy and polite. Is there a point having tenants living for free to protect against vandalism, if they trash the house after being evicted for non-payment of rent? TWO GAVELS :(

Canopy Carnage- The defendant who can't tell a dandelion from a palm tree is no botanist, and after seeing the brutal manner in which he butchered off the branches with what must have been hand grenades, he is no arborist, either. He left the trunks and the main branches up with mutilated jagged edges and shrapnel, perhaps as a warning to the other trees? My theory is that he was hard up for cash and decided to assassinate Groot and his ilk so that he could get paid, and get paid now. Maybe because the litigants in the episode below were waiting for him to "party." THREE AXES

Lifetimes Of Drugs And Alcohol - This case was fantastic. At last we know what Jessica Rabbit would look like with meth mouth and osteoporosis! I don't know about you, but it was killing me not to know this. The mouth breathing defendant, Liver Cirrhosis Popeye, spoke incoherently (not surprising, since he was probably pickled) and lives with his momma (she must be 100) until he "gets on his feet" which I understand to mean "dies." His unilateral cataract was distracting, but as long as he can still see the vodka bottle, he's probably OK. The thought of a love triangle between this Prince, the rode-hard plaintiff, and some other substance-abusing, baseball-bat yielding Lothario reminded me of that SNL skit where Kate McKinnon tries to pick up the last person left at the bar's closing. FOUR ADDICTIVE GAVELS

Edited May 24, 2018 by Toaster Strudel

[Guest]

13 hours ago, Spunkygal said:

Who the hell is going to mess with a Psycho Klown?  

You have a point SPUNKYGAL, but remember JJ isn't just anybody - I wouldn't be surprised to see her shout at the devil himself.  She's a tough cookie.

And word on the street is that PsychoKlown is one soft marshmallow.  But you didn't hear it from me.

[AngelaHunter]

Toaster Strudel - you stop that! I just started reading and had to get up off my chair to get kleenex because tears of mirth are squirting from my eyeballs.

 

9 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

the "tone of his emails" which I take to meas that the defendant didn't put enough smileys :) at the end of his sentences.

 

9 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

He left the trunks and the main branches up with mutilated jagged edges and shrapnel, perhaps as a warning to the other trees?

 

9 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

At last we know what Jessica Rabbit would look like with meth mouth and osteoporosis! I don't know about you, but it was killing me not to know this. The mouth breathing defendant, Liver Cirrhosis Popeye, spoke incoherently (not surprising, since he was probably pickled) and lives with his momma (she must be 100) until he "gets on his feet" which I understand to mean "dies." His unilateral cataract

I'm just kidding. Do not stop! :):):)  "Liver Cirrhosis Popeye" sounds like some kind of wonky action figure or bobblehead.

[Spunkygal]

6 hours ago, PsychoKlown said:

You have a point SPUNKYGAL, but remember JJ isn't just anybody - I wouldn't be surprised to see her shout at the devil himself.  She's a tough cookie.

And word on the street is that PsychoKlown is one soft marshmallow.  But you didn't hear it from me.

Ha! A soft marshmallow, eh? That's just part of a PsychoKlown psychology to lure an unsuspecting victim into a web. I've been there before with past PsychoKlowns! 

[pagooey]

Yoshino cherry trees are beautiful. I've long dreamed of putting one in when I revamp my janky yard...and if some nitwit butchered TWO that I'd been tending and cultivating for years, JJ'd be adjudicating her first murder trial. 

I found The Love Song of Liver Cirrhosis Popeye and Methica Rabbit painful to watch; those are some miserable beat-down lives endured, there. 

[AngelaHunter]

1 hour ago, Spunkygal said:

That's just part of a PsychoKlown psychology to lure an unsuspecting victim into a web.

I  never liked clowns, not even when I was a kid being taken to the circus. Psycho Klowns? The stuff of nightmares - no offense to our resident PsychoKlown.

 

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Why the hell ya gotta be posting scary klowns on this page? Don'cha know I'm going to have to sue you for all the bad dreams I might have tonight? Emotional distress, y'all!  And punitive damages. Cos you messed up my punitive by posting that whack ass scary klown 

Quote

I have someone to cut trees down when needed and who prunes them for me. He has a company which is registered and insured. He's not the cheapest but does only what I ask and knows the difference between a maple and a beech and a healthy tree and sick one. He also requires I get a city permit if I need a tree cut down. I would never hire some guy I saw on the street to do this work for me, just because he has a chain saw and charges little. 

Here in good old south Florida, the county will come on ovah and slap a big old fine on you iffin you don't have your trees trimmed correctly. I had a friend who went the cheap route and her lovely big old oak trees were "hat-racked" by a cheap tree trimming service. After the $1500 fine she had to get a certified arborist to come over and fix the mess. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that oak trees (and similar type trees) aren't native and will blow down in a tropical storm or hurricane, damaging property and pulling power lines down, which in turn will piss off your neighbors in a big way. 

[Toaster Strudel]

Reviewing a JJ triathlon:

Deal With Your Child In Foster Care! - Get outta here! You flew across the country for $300 that you didn't earn! Goodbye! JJ had no love for the plaintiff who was living off her 21 yr old son and was suing her grandma for rent... for the three weeks she slept on the floor without a mattress. Girl wanted $930 rent! Grandma (who spoke with a potato in her mouth) wanted to meet some dude she met online on Facebook (I wanted to know if it was Nigerian scammer, but this juicy stream was left unexplored) while she was there and borrowed $300, but JJ wouldn't give it to the plaintiff because it was really her son's money... I thought it was harsh but then her youngest (decades younger than the eldest) was taken away from both parents and put in foster care so, no pity from me. 3.5 GAVELS.

Dueling Kinfolk - It was a sad in the Squinty Eyed Family when the matriarch left for the Great Beyond having cashed in her funeral insurance. If Nice Bro did care for his mom for 14 years, and his siblings didn't, then he didn't deserve a dressing down because his mother raised him as a child, but rather, a good word for doing the right thing even if his Nasty Sister didn't. In the end he totally agreed he should pay half, but sister was paranoid about the whole thing. There's probably more to the story since they are now estranged. 2.5 GAVELS

Undertaker Softball - The mortician did a rubbish job on the defendant, he looked like an overly embalmed lump of white Play-Do with stuck-on circus peanut ears. He pretty much admitted he got too lazy to embroider the back of some ugly caps as agreed upon with the plaintiff. All the caps were returned to the bald defendant, so it's a happy ending as he is not all kitted up to never have to worry about getting cranium sunburn. 1 GAVEL.

[AngelaHunter]

1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Deal With Your Child In Foster Care! - Get outta here! You flew across the country for $300 that you didn't earn! Goodbye!

Seriously, just when you think these bedbugs can't get any lower, you get Cindy. She had her three-year old taken away and given permanently to his father - whoever the hell he is - and then her eight-year old is taken away and, although that child has TWO parents, is put into foster care two years ago. Does that hoebag Cindy give a shit about those little buggers? No she does not. Hey, she spread for some guy and squirted them out. Her job is done. I swear, my cat was a million times better mother than most of the slags we see here. She wants money from the kids' haggish, nutty granny, who stayed with her and slept on the floor so she could go get her freak on with some scumbag with whom she hooked up on FB. Cindy is pleased to say that her 21-year old supports her, even though she has some huge, dopey-looking boyfriend standing next to her. Don't know why JJ didn't throw his useless ass out. He has no business there, but hey - free trip! "Get outta here!" indeed. Cindy is lucky Byrd didn't kick her in the ass on her way out, and give horny Granny a shot for good measure.

1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

- It was a sad in the Squinty Eyed Family

Seriously, what was with them squinting like Mr. Magoo - large sister and tiny brother, both of them! Was that another dopey boyfriend, standing next to parasitic squinty sister who wants to fight over a few dollars, like a jackal at a carcass? No insult to jackals who perform a valuable service, unlike the useless litigants we see, sucking up air that could be better utilized.

1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

The mortician did a rubbish job on the defendant, he looked like an overly embalmed lump of white Play-Do with stuck-on circus peanut ears.

Mr. Potato Head was amazing. No, he sure didn't give plaintiff what he paid for. He cheerfully admits that, but hey - so what? No biggie. He's got lots of business, so tough for plaintiff. Well, he had lots of business. Not sure how lucrative it will be after this aired.

[Mrs Shibbles]

In the Squinty Eye Family case, what was the deal with the short tie on the plaintiff?  Did he shop the kids tie section at Wal Mart? 

[Guest]

14 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

I  never liked clowns, not even when I was a kid being taken to the circus. Psycho Klowns? The stuff of nightmares - no offense to our resident PsychoKlown.

 

None taken. 

[Florinaldo]

15 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Nice Bro did care for his mom for 14 years, and his siblings didn't, then he didn't deserve a dressing down because his mother raised him as a child, but rather, a good word for doing the right thing even if his Nasty Sister didn't.

Yes, JJ went her usual route of you owe everything to your parents simply because they raised you, so no praise for doing what your sibling did not care to do.

Communications problems probably contributed to her paranoia, although her judgment seemed so clouded by her suspicions that she seemed barely capable of accepting the new information she was getting, like the mother's letter to the insurance company, deciding instead to accuse him of having resigned the policy. The brother had clearly been willing from the start to pay his share, but not to bend to his sister's curious delusions.

[iwasish]

4 hours ago, Florinaldo said:

Yes, JJ went her usual route of you owe everything to your parents simply because they raised you, so no praise for doing what your sibling did not care to do.

Communications problems probably contributed to her paranoia, although her judgment seemed so clouded by her suspicions that she seemed barely capable of accepting the new information she was getting, like the mother's letter to the insurance company, deciding instead to accuse him of having resigned the policy. The brother had clearly been willing from the start to pay his share, but not to bend to his sister's curious delusions.

Money always comes between family. I never thought it would in mine but 10+ years after my mom died, an incident between an in law and one of my siblings got nasty and the sibling married to the in law suddenly dredged up some perceived inequity in how I as executress cheated them out of $$. Accusations of forgery and such were thrown around. Nothing came of them as legally there was no wrong doing. But relationships have been forever damaged. 

[Spunkygal]

1 hour ago, iwasish said:

Money always comes between family. I never thought it would in mine but 10+ years after my mom died, an incident between an in law and one of my siblings got nasty and the sibling married to the in law suddenly dredged up some perceived inequity in how I as executress cheated them out of $$. Accusations of forgery and such were thrown around. Nothing came of them as legally there was no wrong doing. But relationships have been forever damaged. 

This is why I'm glad I'm from a rather modest background (I'll ignore the word poor.) There wasn't a whole helluva lot to fight over. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

[lovesnark]

1 hour ago, iwasish said:

Money always comes between family. I never thought it would in mine but 10+ years after my mom died, an incident between an in law and one of my siblings got nasty and the sibling married to the in law suddenly dredged up some perceived inequity in how I as executress cheated them out of $$. Accusations of forgery and such were thrown around. Nothing came of them as legally there was no wrong doing. But relationships have been forever damaged. 

That plaintiff was a piece of work. I wonder if she would have agreed to pay half the cost of her mom's funeral if she didn't t think there was an insurance policy? Probably not. She would have told her brother to handle it.

A family member we hadn't heard from for over 12 years surfaced about a year after my dad died. Many years prior, she had been one of the witnesses when my folks did their living wills and estate plan. At that time, their entire estate had a value of about $500,000. Of course, their home made up the majority of the value. By the time Pop died, I was the only living member of our nuclear family left and he gave me complete discretion over what to do with his estate. This relative (she was my niece and his grand daughter) showed up out of the blue a year later and wanted what she said was her inheritance. She thought the $500k estate value meant they had that much cash in the bank. I asked where she'd been for 13 years and why she never bothered to even call her grandpa for all those years. I then told her that everything he owned, right down to the underwear in his dresser was left to me and that she wasn't entitled to one red cent. She hired an attorney and it warmed my heart to know she wasted money only to be told that she got nothing.

[Florinaldo]

2 hours ago, iwasish said:

Money always comes between family.

As I think I have mentioned before, I consider myself lucky that when I had to act as estate liquidator, everything went smoothly with no quarrels, considering the horror stories I have heard from others. One colleague mentioned how some family members feuded over who would get a set of chef knives. Not very valuable ones mind you; I have knives that are worth individually ten times what the whole set was, but it became so crucial for some of them to have their right of possession affirmed that it obliterated any gram of common sense for the sake of scoring a "victory". Only 1 or 2 people in a family seem to be sufficient to poison the whole process, as these TV court shows demonstrate from time to time.

Edited May 25, 2018 by Florinaldo

[AngelaHunter]

25 minutes ago, Florinaldo said:

One colleague mentioned how some family members feuded over who would get a set of chef knives. Not very valuable ones mind you;

It doesn't matter! We saw siblings here fighting tooth and nail over some old patio furniture. It had sentimental value, said the people who admitted they wanted to be able get and sell it for the summer season. We've seen people ready to kill each other for the contents of a junk drawer and old pots and pans. I'm so glad that when my mother passed away my brother and I wanted nothing of her modest estate and let her husband have whatever there was. Had I fought over it like dogs over a bone I couldn't live with myself. It's nice that conscience never troubles our dear litigants.

[Sweedish Fish]

On 5/24/2018 at 12:58 AM, Toaster Strudel said:

Liver Cirrhosis Popeye

Snerk. cough.  hah hahhh haaaa.     ahee!

 

Just saw him. That's perfect.       Oh my, think my cheekbones cracked from laughing.

Maybe I can get on the show?    You must be the defendant.   I'll wear my best hairdo and jewels..  But Judge - I was just using my roommate's laptop, searching for work,  when I ran across this post.

I will need surgery for the cheekbones.   

Edited May 25, 2018 by Sweedish Fish

[Toaster Strudel]

Holy Gyproc! - So much untold emotional baggage involved in a hole in the wall, which was this wide and this tall, roughly the size of a portal to another dimension. So, a pretty big hole in the wall. Backstory: adopted daughter allowed mom to say with her for a while along with mom's new adopted daughter (I assume adopted because she looked way beyond childbearing age). In addition to slashing her adopted daughter's tires and hitting her car with a baseball bat, she also smashed the drywall. "I didun do it, I dunno how the hole in the wall got there, there is no hole in the wall" whined the defiant defendant. Adopted daughter, who seemed very kindly, level headed, and had her act together, brought with her a very credible witness. Meanwhile, Adoptive Mom Of The Year was making stupid "OMG" faces during her entire testimony, and kept shouting out "unbelievable" "you outta be ashamed of yourself" "oh mah god!" Her motives to adopt children might not be so noble. The best part was from the daughter in the hallterview: "The landlord said if we didn't put her out, WE had to get out." Well well well. I bet there's more to that story. 4 GAVELS.

Almost Married... Parents! - We know how much JJ hates to adjudicate the "almost-married" so you can imagine how annoyed she was with this case. It did have an interesting twist. The plaintiff, who landed one of the dudes from ZZ Top, was suing the defendant (mom's ex-boyfriend with whom she lived for 25 years without the benefit of marriage, harlot!) for mortgage payments on the house he shared with her mother. Mother had put 25K down, but he paid the mortgage and the house repairs all these years. When he was kicked out for domestic violence, and had a restraining order placed against him, he went to live in a hotel then some apartment. Meanwhile, Mother couldn't pay for the mortgage, the house would have foreclosed so the daughter stepped in to pay it until the house was sold. They did sell the house quickly, and Mother & Boyfriend each got over 300K. The daughter was suing him for those last few mortgage payments, and justified this by saying that if she hadn't, her mother would have been in the streets, the house foreclosed, and no one would have gotten a red cent out of it. BZZZZZZZZZT! No. JJ would have none of it, and after she heard of the windfall, she blasted the plaintiff: "ask your mother!"  The daughter raged after the verdict: "she let a criminal off!" "despicable human being" "an animal just walked away" - daughter was way too heavily invested in this BS. JJ is right, ah-collect from your mom. 3.5 GAVELS.

Benny Hill & Kim Davis - I bet you didn't know these two well-known, outstanding Christians were an "almost married" item for years! Benny Hill got the dinette set, but he didn't prevail on the weight set and "living expenses." He still loves Kim. How romantic. I would have given this one gavel, but I'm adding an extra 0.5 for merciful brevity. 1.5 GAVELS.

[AngelaHunter]

56 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Holy Gyproc! - So much untold emotional baggage involved in a hole in the wall, which was this wide and this tall, roughly the size of a portal to another dimension.

I haven't even watched this and I'm cackling like mad. Not "yea high and yea tall"? Must watch. Now.