All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[AngelaHunter]

But he insists that they never slept together, although he referred to himself as her Man in his sworn statement.

 

Every time I see cases like this, with women who are so pathetic it shames me that I'm the same sex as they are, I just can't help thinking of the Beetlejuice wedding: "How I love that man of mine!"

 

in a move any sane person would commit, grabbed a log and smashed the shit out of Tammy's car's rear window.

 

Oh yeah, like you've never grabbed any object at hand and smashed up your neighbour's shit! Haven't we all done that? Tammy is a brutal beast and I just wish we hadn't heard about the bedroom stuff with her boyfriend, who I'm pretty sure is just as trashy as his True Love. I did enjoy Tammy's son laughing at JJ's accurate description of his mom.

[Mondrianyone]

There was a kind of sweetness about the she-beast's son confirming JJ's description of his mother--and about him and JJ laughing together--that made me want to think there was some hope for him.  If he gets away real fast.  Like right now.  He was probably just completely stoned.  But still.

[BubblingKettle]

Oh no, the rerun of the belligerent sisters; one with a light but unfortunate Fu Manchu and the other who has a snaggletooth and doesn't believe that a laptop is a computer. A true example of 'If I said the sky was blue, you'd disagree.'

 

Fu Manchu: "She said that the dog jumped up and her drink spilled on the laptop."

Snaggletooth: [full sneer] "I don't even HAVE a dog."

 

JJ: "Does your sister's husband work?"

Snaggletooth: "I dunno if he WORKS."

JJ: "Sir, do you work?"

Bro-in-Law: "Yes, I do."

Snaggletooth: "Well, yeah, but I dunno WHEN he works."

 

I did love seeing the second case's wound-up litigant  in her hallterview again: "I AM NOT MAKING ANYTHING UP!  NEVER AGAIN!"

[AngelaHunter]

Snaggletooth sister: Since when has "Arrogant and stupid" been a good combination? What a beast, right down to the massive, tatted arms.

 

Ms. Vitelli(?) (who hired the shyster lawyer (I'm wondering if there's any other kind), or rather her mother hired him: She needs to stop doing whatever she's doing. As she and her parents entered the courtroom, I honestly couldn't tell who was the mother and who was the daughter. Actually, the daughter (in her tawdry black cocktail dress and haggard face) looked older than mom. 

[Quof]

who hired the shyster lawyer (I'm wondering if there's any other kind

 

Hey, now!

[Brattinella]

AngelaHunter, you really ought to do this for a living!

[AngelaHunter]

Quof, if you're a lawyer, I'm sure you're not a shyster. The only lawyers I see are on JJ and TPC. Not all of them are shysters either - many of them are just incompetent nitwits and/or arrogant morons - all of which I am sure you are NOT! XD

 

Thanks, Bratinella. I only wish I could do a fraction as well as ToasterStrudel.

[Quof]

Well, I did have a plaintiff call me a C U Next Tuesday recently.  I've never been called that in a professional setting.

[falconress]

Oh no, the rerun of the belligerent sisters; one with a light but unfortunate Fu Manchu and the other who has a snaggletooth ....

 

Snaggletooth, in her hallterview: "I'm just not gonna borrow money anymore." 

 

LOL, you go girl! You just keep refusing to borrow money ever again, no matter what! That'll show 'em..The bastids, forcing a loan on you like that. 

[teebax]

Damn didn't you play kickball as a kid? It was RUTHLESS. I imagine now it's even worse with all those biters and stranglers out on the field yanking out hairdos and earrings. Just cos that ball was squishy didn't mean it didn't HURT when they threw it at you. 

 

BTW I'm starting a KickStarter program for all lonely middle aged women to be given cats and taught to talk to them instead of adopting co-workers and loaning them money in order to have conversations with them. The stigma of cat-speak will decrease significantly (thus no more "cat lady" shaming) and it should reduce the JJ backlog of cases by about 50%. 

I would be surprised if they were playing kickball at all nowadays. When I was kid, my parents seemed less worried about my survival since they could just make another one of me. I can't imagine some of these helicopter parents - who would surround their children in bubble wrap if they weren't worried about them suffocating -would allow their kids to play kickball... especially not the way we played it where I grew up!

 

To your second point, if lonely people with "big hearts" would focus their efforts on doing real charitable work rather than taking on some loser with a sob story who can smell a sucker a mile away, JJ would have to shorten her season considerably. So, I say, bring on the suckers!

[Rick Kitchen]

Woman and daughter suing for injuries to their dog.  Daughter gives JJ a veterinarian's report that she has whited out and written over, and JJ refuses it.  But then JJ awards money to the plaintiffs.  Based on what?  If she refused to read the doctor's report, how did she know how much to give them?

[BubblingKettle]

I would be surprised if they were playing kickball at all nowadays. When I was kid, my parents seemed less worried about my survival since they could just make another one of me. I can't imagine some of these helicopter parents - who would surround their children in bubble wrap if they weren't worried about them suffocating -would allow their kids to play kickball... especially not the way we played it where I grew up!

 

 

At the moment, kickball is still allowed (unless, like with any recess game, the students used their kickball skill for evil and the principal banned it for everyone).  Dodgeball is forbidden in enlightened districts and schools.  I was glad to bid adieu to that playground shit-starter.

[CoyoteBlue]

I can't believe JJ thought she was making some telling revelation by getting the defendant to admit the bigger dog was in her non-dominant hand. I've walked dogs all my life and the leash goes in whichever hand is convenient. If the dog likes to switch sides a lot as they explore, then the leash gets swapped around to follow. And unless one of the dogs is huge and a tugger, I don't need a dominant hand to manage the weight. In fact, if you're only able to handle your dogs through brute strength, maybe you need to take it to obedience training.

[BubblingKettle]

Today's rerun, first case about the girls from NJ beating each other up. If I was JJ, the minute the defendant claimed she earned a scholarship to "Hair Design School" because "she was so good at it" and currently nets $250 per day as a "Hair Design School" student, I would have awarded the case to the plaintiff. At that very minute. The defendant's hair reminded me of a Barbie doll's after a kid puts her through bath time. Hard, shiny, and plastic-y at at the top and dull frizz everywhere else. That's considered Most Likely to Succeed in the world of hair?  I think not.

 

Hallterview gem: (lunging aggressively at the camera) "She can't deal with my person-al-i-tee and the way I am cuz I'm so sophisticated, n datz why day upset."

[BubblingKettle]

nevermind...my post reappeared.  :)

Edited July 22, 2015 by CoolWhipLite

[Taffy]

I read and liked your post earlier. I came back to see what others said before I watch the episode later. It's a "new" one for me.

[AngelaHunter]

In fact, if you're only able to handle your dogs through brute strength, maybe you need to take it to obedience training.

 

That's always been my opinion.

 

I wish they would air older reruns, instead of these recent ones. That doesn't negate the enjoyment to be found in the group of Minnesota Misfits ("I borrowed her the car) we got today. Who wouldn't delight in again having the chance to watch the foolish Jerry's icky moobs jiggling as he giggled like a 7th grade girl? To see Ms. Hackensmith, with her tragic Mamie Van Doren hair, mutiple neck rings, nasty cleavage and her equally foolish laughter over her totalled car, for which she (of course) had no insurance? We loved the lying, drunken idiot, Tory, proclaiming herself to be a "little person" when she outweighs stupid Jerry by at least 20lbs. They brought the most useless video evidence ever seen here.

 

The repeat of the Sec8 scamming wasn't as much fun. It was just irritating. I just wish when I was renting that I could have gotten taxpayers to foot the bill and let me live in a 3-bedroom, single family home so I could move my entire parasitic family in and pay NO rent myself.

[Guest]

Guys, can we dial it back on the phonetic slang talk? I know you're doing it for comedic effect, but it's hard to read (and potentially offensive to some).  It's okay to make fun of bad grammar and malapropisms but not to mock ethnic or racial speech patterns.  Thanks.

[AngelaHunter]

I don't understand. Anyone born, raised and schooled in North America shouldn't be speaking mangled English. I don't know what race has to do with it. "We don't got none", e.g. is outrageous no matter who is saying it.

[califred]

I got step father of the year case where Dad sends ample money for a used car and step dad makes the girl buy a new car then keeps it and her 4000 down payment. I do think he is a controlling jerk and that's likely why Mom wasn't in court.

[BubblingKettle]

I got step father of the year case where Dad sends ample money for a used car and step dad makes the girl buy a new car then keeps it and her 4000 down payment. I do think he is a controlling jerk and that's likely why Mom wasn't in court.

That stepfather really had a bee in his bonnet.  He wanted to be a bossy control freak, and the source of his anger was the occasional broken curfew. The girl seemed like a fairly normal person.  I thought this the first time this one aired -- I decided to hate the mom (not present in court) for allowing her dick of a husband to mistreat her daughter. 

[SandyToes]

I saw the Hackensack/Van Doren repeat and nearly changed channels, but it was a pretty good repeat.  I spent the first half of the episode wondering what sprinkler "foolish Jerry" had run through on his way to court to have the splatters STILL showing up on his shirt.  The plaintiff, even though she won, sure didn't seem pleased. Idiots. "She always drives us when we are drunk."  Those are some streets I'd make sure to avoid!  And I do wish they'd mix up the reruns. If there were a boatload of episodes, but these are from May!

[AngelaHunter]

Stepdad, in spite of looking like a butler from a very old British movie, was quite the little martinet, wasn't he? I bet mom, who declined to appear in support of her daughter, got a blast when he got home.

[teebax]

Stepdad, in spite of looking like a butler from a very old British movie, was quite the little martinet, wasn't he? I bet mom, who declined to appear in support of her daughter, got a blast when he got home.

I agree, especially since he couldn't really pinpoint any egregious behavior the stepdaughter had exhibited. In her hallterview, she mentioned that when she was late it was only by a few minutes and the stepfather would lose his shit. I can't see how he would be appealing as spouse or as a parental partner.

[BubblingKettle]

Even though watching recently-aired reruns gets old sometimes, I still enjoy hearing quotes like, "Chevy runs through me."  His family loves classic cars, and he was serious about it -- I loved that guy!  I don't know why he ever got mixed up with the defendant, and I really hope he didn't actually say that he hoped to rekindle their relationship (hallterview).

 

The 'cute' car-kicker still gives me a smile, too. He looks like a grown version of one of my former students.....a 1st grader who once tried to stab his buddy's leg with a pencil in the middle of my reading lesson and flashed a sheepish grin when I stopped him. Crazy but a cutie. I can only hope that he has dialed it back a bit in recent years and has chosen activities like kicking cars and tripping people.

[AngelaHunter]

a 1st grader who once tried to stab his buddy's leg with a pencil in the middle of my reading lesson and flashed a sheepish grin when I stopped him.

 

You might expect that from a child, but Mr. "Not No More" is a grown man who should capable of controlling his urge to damage  someone's property because he doesn't approve of their music. If I kicked cars every time someone played music I hate, I'd be bankrupt from paying for all the repairs by now. :p

 

I don't know why he ever got mixed up with the defendant

 

Maybe he likes really dumb women with prehensile upper lips? Her "They didn't see me do it" at least gave JJ and Byrd a good laugh. You know it has to be stellar when even Byrd comments.

[DoctorK]

 

controlling his urge to damage  someone's property because he doesn't approve of their music

While I hate it when some jerk with thump-thump music playing wants to make sure that not only does everyone hear his music but can't listen to their own music, I have resisted the temptation to add to their thump-thump music with a bigger thump (i.e., a satchel charge).

[AlleC17]

Damn didn't you play kickball as a kid? It was RUTHLESS. I imagine now it's even worse with all those biters and stranglers out on the field yanking out hairdos and earrings. Just cos that ball was squishy didn't mean it didn't HURT when they threw it at you. 

 

BTW I'm starting a KickStarter program for all lonely middle aged women to be given cats and taught to talk to them instead of adopting co-workers and loaning them money in order to have conversations with them. The stigma of cat-speak will decrease significantly (thus no more "cat lady" shaming) and it should reduce the JJ backlog of cases by about 50%. 

That would be a great Kickstarter!  ;-p  Would help decrease the amount of cats in shelters AND improve these woman's lives immeasurably.  I, along with the rest of you, do not get what these women see in these losers.  I am single and middle aged, and have no intentions of lowering myself just to have a man in my life. Sheesh.

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

I am single and middle aged, and have no intentions of lowering myself just to have a man in my life.

 

Do you have "exhuberant amounts of credit?" Are you willing to overlook little details, like having a lamp thrown at your head, or repeatedly paying bail or being asked to put a car loan in your name? If so, you too can get hooked up! No more lonely nights!

 

There was something about plaintiff, Manuel, in the rent case that I just hated even before he gave us the classic hearsay response:

 

Manuel: Her mother-in-law told me...

 

JJ: You can't tell me what her mother-in-law told you.

 

Manuel: "Okay. I was informed by somebody..."

 

Then we had the repeat of "Trailer Trash Riot." There was just so much to love about this case.  

Edited July 24, 2015 by AngelaHunter

[BubblingKettle]

 

Then we had the repeat of "Trailer Trash Riot." There was just so much to love about this case.  

 

 

Oh, so many levels of dysfunction in that case!  Wasn't the defendant's girlfriend's name Stormy Pearl or Dusty Pearl or something?  Dramatic. 

 

And the defendant was kind of run over once, had acid go through his shoe and cause a neurological problem, and then was kind of run over again? And he lives in the Trailer Trash Riot neighborhood, where the neighbors hate each other and are ready to give a bat beatdown. Even if he is a hustla, he's not successful at it and his life sucks.

Edited July 24, 2015 by CoolWhipLite

[QuelleC]

Yeah it's so much fun trashing poor people's lives.  It's not always a choice. I lived the first ten years of my life in a mobile home court with retired people and a lot of kids because my dad was paying child support to his first wife and it was brand new and almost as big as the house we ended up moving into.  Still, I know what is meant by trailer park trash and sadly sometimes it's true.

 

I hadn't seen the landlord case before in case it was a rerun but what a piece of work he was.  He couldn't prove the power bill, the stove/fridge (used as it turns out), any damage to the property, seemed to show pictures of two different houses then lied about which was the before and after.  Defendant never got her $200 security deposit back but that pretty much balanced out the power bill they didn't deny they owed. 

 

I wonder how many of these cases are relitigated.  I guess it would be up to another arbitrator willing to take on something settled in binding arbitration.  I don't think small claims court would take it under those circumstances unless they weren't told it had already been arbitrated.  Mostly people seem fine though because they get to split that appearance fee and the problem is done.

Edited July 25, 2015 by QuelleC

[AngelaHunter]

We're not trashing people because they're poor. We're trashing them because they act like ignorant, violent savages. The two needn't go hand in hand.

 

A 59 year old woman who looks 80 and is disabled yet thinks it's normal to butt into a street brawl between her neighbour and some tatted up dude called "Dirty" with her handy-dandy aluminum bat deserves all the mockery she gets.

 

Even if he is a hustla, he's not successful at it and his life sucks.

 

Stormy Pearl (is that her stripper name?)his fiancée thinks he's all kinds of hot, so much so that she wanted to produce three offspring with him. I wish we could have had a few words from Stormy.

[Rick Kitchen]

Stormy was actually a very attractive woman.

[LAgator77]

They had matching neck tattoos! I mean, come on, if that doesn't scream "true love" then I don't know what does. 

 

I grew up poor, trailer home and all, and no one in my family acted like that. Being poor doesn't give you an excuse to be an ignorant, lazy hustler. And speaking of hustling, the old lady on disability slept all day on New Years Day because she wasn't feeling well... Hmmmm I wonder why that was. 

[BubblingKettle]

Yeah it's so much fun trashing poor people's lives.  It's not always a choice. I lived the first ten years of my life in a mobile home court with retired people and a lot of kids because my dad was paying child support to his first wife and it was brand new and almost as big as the house we ended up moving into.  Still, I know what is meant by trailer park trash and sadly sometimes it's true.

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was making a generalization...I meant it as a comment on the litigants' messy ways. There are really nice mobile home parks.  My dad's parents lived in one, and I used to love visiting there...the house was really nice, and the neighbors were mostly friendly retirees who took great care of their properties.  But, unfortunately, some folks live out the negative stereotype, and I think the litigants' stories of car shenanigans and old ladies with bats typified that.  I guess the upside of that case was that there were no kids involved.

[BubblingKettle]

 

I wish we could have had a few words from Stormy.

 

She was definitely more of a "quiet storm" than one that triggers an Emergency Broadcast System alert.

 

 

They had matching neck tattoos! I mean, come on, if that doesn't scream "true love" then I don't know what does. 

 

 

I didn't even notice that. They're not kidding about their love. 

[AngelaHunter]

Stormy was actually a very attractive woman.

 

Yes, she was and maybe smart too, to keep her mouth shut. If she hadn't we may have found out why she thought Mr. House was a catch.

 

I grew up in a family that was pretty poor. Not once did my mother stalk into the street, weilding a bat to confront someone. OMG, THAT image is so preposterous it's hysterical. Trash is trash, no matter if they live in a mansion,  a trailer or a tarpaper shack.

[Red Bridey]

Every single one of those people were meth-heads.  Raspy voices, missing teeth, haggard faces, even the fair Stormy Pearl looked rode hard.

[Ouisch]

 

I wonder how many of these cases are relitigated.  I guess it would be up to another arbitrator willing to take on something settled in binding arbitration.  I don't think small claims court would take it under those circumstances unless they weren't told it had already been arbitrated.  Mostly people seem fine though because they get to split that appearance fee and the problem is done.

Folks that agree to appear on Judge Judy sign an agreement that states they'll accept her ruling as final and will not take it to another court.Unless she dismisses the cases "without prejudice", in which case they are free to take their case to a local small claims court.

[teebax]

I grew up in a family that was pretty poor. Not once did my mother stalk into the street, weilding a bat to confront someone. OMG, THAT image is so preposterous it's hysterical. Trash is trash, no matter if they live in a mansion,  a trailer or a tarpaper shack.

I grew up poor as well. I'm talking government cheese poor. I'm talking my parents never owned a home we lived in poor. I'm talking most of my clothes were hand-me-downs poor.

No matter how poor we were, we were never trashy. We didn't hang out with trash, either. Those who are scraping and crawling to get out of a bad situation have my utmost sympathy, empathy, and respect. Those who would rather be a walking stereotype looking to con every person they meet and every government program available have my derision. JJ just has more of the latter, so her litigants are mostly fair game for me.

[AngelaHunter]

Those who would rather be a walking stereotype looking to con every person they meet and every government program available have my derision

 

Yep... oh, I mean "Yes, m'am."

 

I was watching reruns the other evening and saw a Single Mother who was earning $3,800/month, driving a new Mustang for which the payments were $450/month and was living in a Sec8 home, paying exactly $219.00 each month. She assured JJ that her boyfriend wasn't living there and sucking taxpayers' blood too. Of course not. She deserved way more than derision, and nothing JJ said caused her even one second of shame.

 

And yeah, I've been so poor I had duct tape inside my shoes to cover the holes and yet I somehow managed not to get into a fistfight in the street with some skank over a worthless man, squirt out 4 kids with 4 different losers, or vandalize anyone's property. 

[momtoall]

No matter how poor we were, we were never trashy. We didn't hang out with trash, either. Those who are scraping and crawling to get out of a bad situation have my utmost sympathy, empathy, and respect. Those who would rather be a walking stereotype looking to con every person they meet and every government program available have my derision. JJ just has more of the latter, so her litigants are mostly fair game for me.

 

Well said teebax!! I totally agree.  When I was a "single mother", working and going to school, so were most of my acquaintances.  Amazingly enough, we all managed with to survive without resorting to keying cars, drunken street brawls, or breaking out someone's house or car windows and needing to carry a  bat for protection when going to one another's homes.  We went on the live normal lives and raise children who are now productive members of society.

[DebbieW]

And it's people like the aforementioned single mother that cause people who honestly need public assistance to be looked upon as leeches by the general public.

[Mondrianyone]

I was watching reruns the other evening and saw a Single Mother who was earning $3,800/month, driving a new Mustang for which the payments were $450/month and was living in a Sec8 home, paying exactly $219.00 each month. She assured JJ that her boyfriend wasn't living there and sucking taxpayers' blood too. Of course not. She deserved way more than derision, and nothing JJ said caused her even one second of shame.

 

I must've missed this one.  Was there any indication of how she managed to qualify for subsidized housing while making over $46K a year?  And why would someone go on TV and announce her income if doing so might bounce her out of her apartment?  Oh, wait, we're talking the intellectually impaired JJ litigants here. They seem to forget they're on TV.

 

I'm basically a socialist.  My greatest hope is that Bernie Sanders by some miracle gets the Democratic nomination for president.  And I've had very close relatives who've been on various forms of public assistance.  The people we see on JJ give all that a bad name, which is why I save my hottest hate for them.  By being such a bunch of sloths and petty criminals, they give fuel to the right-wingers who claim that all benefits and entitlements programs are a scam and a disgrace.  Once, years ago, after watching some woman on JJ who was collecting SS disability for social anxiety so bad that she couldn't work--but could somehow manage her anxiety well enough to go on national TV and be quite vocal in stating her case--I wrote down her name and place of residence and then called SS and the IRS in Washington to report her.  Yes, I was nuts.  But she infuriated me, on behalf of all the people who don't know how to work the system but really need the help.  I'm a lot calmer now.  Most of the time.

[AngelaHunter]

Was there any indication of how she managed to qualify for subsidized housing while making over $46K a year?

 

She said she moved to her present location from New Orleans, where she was getting Sec8 and explained to JJ that "Sec8 just follows you wherever you go." She sounded quite proud of it. So to me, it sounds like this gov. agency just doesn't bother to check the status of their handout recipients - a kind of "Don't ask, don't tell" situtation. And what do they care, when it's Byrd's money that's allowing this parasite to buy a new Mustang? JJ said that she had to award her a judgement, since the landlord of her housing was a scammer too, but she added that it broke her heart to do so.

 

Once, years ago, after watching some woman on JJ who was collecting SS disability for social anxiety so bad that she couldn't work--but could somehow manage her anxiety well enough to go on national TV and be quite vocal in stating her case--I wrote down her name and place of residence and then called SS and the IRS in Washington to report her.

 

Wasn't she the one with "angoraphobia" who had no problem getting on a plane and as you say, appearing not just on TV, but before Judge Judy - something that would give me an anxiety attack and I don't have any social phobias.

 

I applaud you for reporting her, although I have a feeling it did little good.

[Mondrianyone]

Oh, gosh, I hope she had "angoraphobia"--I don't know how that got by me if she's the same one!  Is that where you're deathly afraid of the little sweater fibers going up your nose? 

 

You're probably right that reporting her was pointless, but it made me feel better, so there's that.

[AngelaHunter]

Is that where you're deathly afraid of the little sweater fibers going up your nose?

 

I think it's a fear of fuzzy sweaters, period!

[Sarcastico]

I was in Sweden on vacation last week and I'm sorry to say that there doesn't seem to be a show in Sweden called Domare Ingrid.  A shame.

[AZChristian]

I'm in London on vacation right now.  Just finished watching a full hour of Judge Judy.  We addicts are incurable.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

And I'm sure the Brits are forming a swell opinion of Americans based on watching JJ!

 

Although I do have a pretty good idea what they think of us, considering I work for a British company with HQ in the northern  London burbs. Sadly, not in Slough :(