Jeremy and Auj Poj

[ginger90]

7 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I read somewhere (here?) that Jeremy said that Matt cried and Amy screamed upon hearing the news.  No word on whether she just kept screaming, "Are you s*i*t*ng me?", as she did when Zach and Tori broke the news.

It's quoted here

http://www.tlc.com/tlcme/jeremy-and-audrey-roloff-are-having-a-baby/

[Jellybeans]

Why am I not excited?

I am happy for Zach and Tori but those two...?

[galax-arena]

"Why am I not excited?

I am happy for Zach and Tori but those two...?"

Perhaps it's your gut telling you to be wary of the birth of the antichrist.

 

Kidding, the Roloffs aren't THAT bad... 

[CofCinci]

On 2/23/2017 at 5:49 PM, leighroda said:

The typewriter was a big deal in their engagement, so I'm guessing that's where that came from... carhartt, idk a nod to their entitlement to inheriting the farm? 

Bingo.

They want to really drive the point to Amy that their baby really really really deserves the farm.

[FinePoint]

On 2/23/2017 at 1:28 PM, fuzzylollipop said:

Due September? Was the pee stick even dry when they announced it? The timing makes it so obvious that they've been trying as soon as Zach and Tori announced.  

Agreed...soooooo obvious. If Tori's having hers in May, I'm assuming conception was August? [ugh that seems too personal for me to speculate about, but they do put themselves out there, and there's a point to this] and so she probably announced to the family at 3 mos, sometime in Nov. I bet Jerk and Oddj (and I love those, whoever poster came up with those!) I bet they tossed out Oddj's condoms that very day and got busy straight away, and if "they" got pregnant sometime in Nov, then we're now somewhere on the cusp I bet of their month 3; could even be just past the 3-month point. I'm not familiar with pregnancy due date calculators, but it's a basic timeline, I think. So yeah, I think "they" got PG within 2 weeks of Z and T announcing theirs. Anyway, I love that they totally got burned on getting all the attention for being "the first," haha. 

[ZoloftBlob]

I'm genuinely waiting to see Jer handle the first time he's given advice by his brother who had a child first and actually has more experience at problem x,y. and z.

Because I somehow doubt he'll handle it graciously. Oh I think Jer has like... no idea how no one will care about his precious little one if Zach and Tori have a dwarf child.

[Claire1745]

Matt just posted this on his Facebook page

"A state of the Union Update..   so many things happening in Roloff world.  Amys new amazing Pumpkin BBQ sauce. Salsa continues to go like crazy... both Zach and Jeremy expecting babies this spring..,  we going to be grandparents x2 ... Molly's getting married this Summer on the farm and I'm  secretly getting the farm ready for the ultimate wedding  for my one and only precious daughter.   You won't believe the private  wedding plan that Molly has Asked Amy and I to execute...  grad babies, weddings , boyfriends, girlfriends , new houses, exotic  vacations ... it's going to be a very exciting season of little people big wold...  we are filming  now for a May start date..  don't miss this upcoming round of shows !!  Love love to you all."

Sounds like him and Amy are both dating, and Jerk and Odds ate moving back to the farm with the houses being built comment wonder if its a traditional house or with the whole baby Roloff  #2 was conceived in a tree house, if they will build a tree house to continue to play into we are the hippest hipsters of all time. 

Can you even be that accurate with pregnancies, or is it you got pregnant around this time and we think you are about x weeks along?

[ZoloftBlob]

Well, I didn't realize September was now "spring" .

And it sounds like Molly isn't interested in having her wedding filmed but I will wait and see on that.

Gosh, Auj just loves oversharing, who wants to bet she starts crying about her precious privacy when people start asking her details about how she peed on a stick the night her brother in law had a party to announce the gender of his baby? Really, her special spideysenses came into play right then? She was so desperate to know they had to buy a pregnancy test that very night? She really had to let the public know the exact night and place she spread her legs and let Jeremy bang her vag? Gosh I wonder if she'll tell us she had a vision of Jesus on the cross as Jeremy ejaculated and she felt the baby come into being in that moment?

Seriously, Auj honey? "I FUCK! OH GOD I FUCK! I FUCKED MY MAN ON THIS NIGHT! I FUCKED AND GOT PREGNANT IN A TREE HOUSE EVERYONE CIRCLE ROUND AND KISS MY ASS CAUSE I FUCKED!" isn't really that big a deal. My parents fucked. Everyone's parents fucked. There's a reason they don't brag to you how Daddy shoved his cock up Mommy's slash and blew his wad and made you.. its because it's a) a bit crass to brag about when it's essentially a common act and b) it's really oversharing.

I mean really, is this what passes for a Christian woman these days? Proudly braying on the internet how you had sex in a treehouse?

eta - and the important question really, since Audrey knows the specific night the child was conceived, did Jeremy recite his wedding vows as he pumped Auj's vagina?

Or is *that* too private?

Edited February 26, 2017 by ZoloftBlob

[Willowsmom]

I'm surprised Tawdry didn't have a camera installed in her uterus so we could see the golden sperm join the blessed egg.

[ZoloftBlob]

I'm genuinely surprised we're not being treated to a tape of the treehouse sex that made Number Two :)

[ginger90]

Hmmmm "new houses"......

[ZoloftBlob]

Quote

Hmmmm "new houses"......

Heheh if Daddy Matt is building Jeremy a dream house, I will laugh and laugh and point out until the end of time that Jeremy isn't man enough to provide for his own family. He's a little bitch boy who needs to be taken care of. Poor little bitch boy Jer living in a house he could never earn on his own.

[Caracoa1]

Jeremy needs to cut his greasy curly rats nest on the top of his head, man up and get a job to support his family.  Trust me....When the money train ends Audry will not tolerate his specialness!  

[ginger90]

Audrey's tale

https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1119283604846669

[galax-arena]

I really don't buy that Baby Roloff was conceived in a treehouse, or that at least it's not anything they know with certainty. They're just settling on that because it fits in perfectly with their quirky outdoor hipster aesthetic. 

[Caracoa1]

Audrey seems very high maintenance to me... I hope she realizes this baby will come out the same way it went in!

[SongbirdHollow]

8 hours ago, galax-arena said:

I really don't buy that Baby Roloff was conceived in a treehouse, or that at least it's not anything they know with certainty. They're just settling on that because it fits in perfectly with their quirky outdoor hipster aesthetic. 

Especially if they are constantly "fucking for Jesus" as @ZoloftBlob says to my constant amusement.

[ZoloftBlob]

Hey, Audrey precious herself said that making love was a form of worship. :)

I mean, I'm not wrong, am I? When Audrey spreads for Jeremy's cock, that's PRAYING! Jeremy ejaculating is PRAYER.

And actually joining and attending a church? Not in these two's plans! They're too busy FUCKING IN THE TREEHOUSE FOR JESUS! :)

Oh and complaining how unkind people are being...

[SongbirdHollow]

Looks like the expectant couples are in Hawaii for a babymoon. Isn't Tori a teacher? Is it spring break?

[ZoloftBlob]

Yeah, spring break is plausible for Tory. I like how people are starting to complain on instagram that that they bought navigators council notebooks that were supposed to ship in Janurary and haven't got them, and Audrey and Jer are off on vacation...

[Jellybeans]

50 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Yeah, spring break is plausible for Tory. I like how people are starting to complain on instagram that that they bought navigators council notebooks that were supposed to ship in Janurary and haven't got them, and Audrey and Jer are off on vacation...

She is pregnant. She must vacation first.  

Yes I am being sarcastic.

[ginger90]

As Audrey says "pregnant sisters":

https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1120438281397868

[Willowsmom]

Wow, Tawdry really isn't pretty.

[AZChristian]

Rooms there are about $500+ per night. Must have been quite the nest egg the boys saved up from TLC.

[Pachengala]

48 minutes ago, Willowsmom said:

Wow, Tawdry really isn't pretty.

I keep saying this too! It surprises me almost every time I see here because she *should* be, know what I mean? I always expect her to be pretty and then she has the face of a mean boy from a kids' movie.

[galax-arena]

I don't think she's ugly. But I feel like she fancies herself as this great free-spirited fiery redhead beauty and she really isn't lol. Sometimes her makeup and smile make her look like the Joker. 

[Willowsmom]

I don't think she's ugly on the outside. She is just not the classic beauty she and the Roloffs present her as. She is (like most of us) plain.

[ZoloftBlob]

Oh I am betwixt and between on this.

I don't think she's ugly, and I think in a straight comparison, she's always going to be picked as the prettiest of the three younger women on LPBW. I've known some *ugly* people and some *plain* people and Audrey is neither ugly or plain in my opinion. Tory isn't ugly or plain either but she is plainer than Audrey.  So is Molly, although Molly ranks above Tory imo.

But... the reality here is that Audrey a big fish on a reality show where pretty much no one dresses up EXCEPT Audrey. That's first and likely most important. She's no where near as pretty as she thinks she is, and she seems to do a LOT of work to maintain herself.  I mean, I haven't thought all that long about this but for someone who professes to love her naturally curly hair, she seems to wear a lot of straight extensions. And while it's always red, her hair color varies in a way that isn't natural for someone who isn't playing with their color. In her weird hipster way, she clearly pays a lot of attention to how she looks and what clothes she wears in contrast to mom jeans Tory.

Audrey's flaw in the face is that her mouth is a bit too big for her face, and instead of downplaying that, she emphasizes it and makes the problem worse. Her teeth, in that mouth, smiling with lips of bright red? She looks like a shark - that's where people are seeing the Joker in her. She ends up looking very harsh when she smiles. If you look at her Instagram at the photos where she's not smiling, she's actually much prettier and softer looking.

Her photos on Instagram where she's clearly pooching her tummy out so she'll have a baby bump... Honey, it's coming, take it easy.

[Jellybeans]

I think she is ugly in how she portrays herself, not because of physical attributes.  Tory is beautiful by comparison because of who she is.

[Absolom]

That explains a lot of why in some photos I think she's relatively pretty and in others fairly bad.  Yes, it's the shark/The Joker look from her mouth.  She also almost always has on a ton of make up.  Tori fades beside her because she isn't flamboyant.  I think Tori has a lasting look that will do well over time while Auj doesn't look to me like she will age well. 

[humbleopinion]

Wait until she finds out that she may not be able to use the toxic hair dye to keep her "naturally *cough* red hair" during the pregnancy and that sometimes pregnancy will cause the mother's hair thin in the months after the delivery.

Hope they catch on LPBW's cameras when handfuls of her spiral curls come loose from her daft head.

I'd watch that...

[humbleopinion]

In a just and fair world...

Tory will just blossom with happiness and grace as her pregnancy progresses because she will continue with teaching and helping her students become better people.

Auj will continue her narcissist path of cutting and pasting, borrowing heavily from the internet to bring attention to herself in hopes of building a platform.

Smarter women do it better with original thoughts and insights, not superficial, unintelligible Auj blather.

Imagine this convo between Auj and Jer...

Auj: Read this babe, I FOUND it on the internet about my pregnancy...

Jer: babe, it has scientific  words...

Auj: Yeah, makes me sound smart...

Jer: Then post it.

Auj: Whatever my man says...

[Mike p.]

1 hour ago, Absolom said:

That explains a lot of why in some photos I think she's relatively pretty and in others fairly bad.  Yes, it's the shark/The Joker look from her mouth.  She also almost always has on a ton of make up.  Tori fades beside her because she isn't flamboyant.  I think Tori has a lasting look that will do well over time while Auj doesn't look to me like she will age well. 

Audrey has an unfortunate smile. Typically, it looks more like a grimace than a smile, and can even look like an animal baring its teeth in warning. (Seriously. I'm not being mean.) It also never looks sincere. If you have a Giada De Laurentis cookbook, you will see the same thing in her face shots.

If Audrey were otherwise remarkable (she isn't) and employed at a modeling agency, a coach would have worked with her on the "smile problem."

[Natalie68]

On 3/1/2017 at 0:56 PM, galax-arena said:

I don't think she's ugly. But I feel like she fancies herself as this great free-spirited fiery redhead beauty and she really isn't lol. Sometimes her makeup and smile make her look like the Joker. 

I was about to post this.  There is something slappable about this couple.  The day they find out there are NOT special will be epic.  

[bichonblitz]

They all sure like Hawaii a lot. Wouldn't surprise me if Matt buys a place there eventually.

I think Auj got pregnant because Tori did.  Tori couldn't have all the attention with her pregnancy and baby shower, birth of baby, and everybody making a fuss over them. Nope, Auj had to make sure she was going to get her fair share of the spotlight. Nobody is going to outdo her. 

When I was getting married and we set the date , along comes my husband's sister and decides it's time to get married. What does she do? She decides to have her wedding the month before we did. She wanted to take the attention off us and succeeded. Never forgave her for that.  Sort of reminds me of Auj. 

Edited March 3, 2017 by bichonblitz

[Claire1745]

Looks like they are building a treehouse on the farm.  And will probably later use it like Bolt Treehouse( the one we're supposedly they conceived the baby) and rent it out.  

 

[Caracoa1]

All their vacations are excessive....If it weren't for Jeremy's TLC trust fund money he'd be working at Lowe's stocking shelves!  And I guarantee Audrey would not have given Jeremy the time of day!

[ZoloftBlob]

Hehe I just find myself thinking "Hey Audrey, next time you do this, remember that you're going to be camping with a baby! Hiking with a baby! Flying in a plane for hours with a baby! I mean fucking really, do you even understand that it's not a doll?"

That's before I note that Audrey, for all her pretensions, doesn't really rough camp at all. The Treehouse of Holy Fucking was a "glamping" situation and her many many photos of the many many vacations rarely show her and Jer anywhere less well appointed than a tasteful hip bed and breakfast.

[Willowsmom]

1 hour ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Hehe I just find myself thinking "Hey Audrey, next time you do this, remember that you're going to be camping with a baby! Hiking with a baby! Flying in a plane for hours with a baby! I mean fucking really, do you even understand that it's not a doll?"

That's before I note that Audrey, for all her pretensions, doesn't really rough camp at all. The Treehouse of Holy Fucking was a "glamping" situation and her many many photos of the many many vacations rarely show her and Jer anywhere less well appointed than a tasteful hip bed and breakfast.

What on Earth makes you think the kid will be on vacation with them? I'd bet they'll saddle a grandparent with it so they can rest from parenthood. Starting when they get home from the hospital.

[ZoloftBlob]

Honestly, Willowsmom,  I really don't see Amy falling for that, she's dating now, and I genuinely question whether Matt is physically capable of safely minding a baby for more than an hour or two. And Audrey's parents might be dumb enough but....

You can sure as shit count on the fact that these two hipsters *will* catch shit from pretty much all of their fans for their parenting choices (or lack thereof). And I personally will start with "You had this baby, not your parents and not Audrey's parents so that means until the child is old enough to fend for itself, its the responsibility of *Jeremy and Audrey* and you two crazy kids signed up for 18 years of NO vacation when you decided to fuck in the tree house."

And people will question how a mom who isn't required to put her child into daycare is whining about it. Likewise for the man. They have no real jobs at all so they damn well better tend their baby themselves and it will be questioned if they aren't. As it is, since neither of them work except for the show, they damn well better prepare themselves for the cold reality that people are going to question their lifestyle and any whining about their lifestyle.

I'll say it. They're having a baby for the show. Which means they'd rather be reality show whores than work. That child that they're having had damn well better be compensated for appearances since it is being born and whored so Mommy and Daddy can continue avoiding real jobs.

[Mike p.]

Price drop! Down to $19.99!

https://shop.beating50percent.com/products/navigators-council

And you can't get it yet. It's on "Pre-Order" status—whatever that is. 

[ZoloftBlob]

Well, it was on pre-order with shipping to happen in January... on sale too! And then the price went up and the pre-order notice came down.... And now it's March and it's back on pre-order.

Should we start betting on whether these silly notebooks ever ship? :D

[Willowsmom]

If they took money they'll have to ship.You can bet Jer and Tawdry don't have any pre order monies left.

[Claire1745]

I'm pretty sure when they started trying to sell these things, before they made the whole it's on preorder sale pitch (33% off), the price of the journal was originally priced $24. Then they started the sale and theborogonal price jumped up to $29. Maybe they haven't sold the thousands they've claimed tosell. As a starting business I would be damn sure to get those mailed out when they said they would. even if they are fans they don't want to be jacked around. but who know if they know the difference, they are paying foe the same six questions (that are up on their site you can view for free) and a calendar on repeat for 52 times. and my guess the weekly devotionals are the same ones that are texted out for the whopping peace of 4.99 for address weekly devotionals. 

[Claire1745]

2 hours ago, Claire1745 said:

I'm pretty sure when they started trying to sell these things, before they made the whole it's on preorder sale pitch (33% off), the price of the journal was originally priced $24. Then they started the sale and theborogonal price jumped up to $29. Maybe they haven't sold the thousands they've claimed tosell. As a starting business I would be damn sure to get those mailed out when they said they would. even if they are fans they don't want to be jacked around. but who know if they know the difference, they are paying foe the same six questions (that are up on their site you can view for free) and a calendar on repeat for 52 times. and my guess the weekly devotionals are the same ones that are texted out for the whopping peace of 4.99 for address weekly devotionals. 

"Price for Audrey's weekly devotional". 

[Mike p.]

12 hours ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Well, it was on pre-order with shipping to happen in January... on sale too! And then the price went up and the pre-order notice came down.... And now it's March and it's back on pre-order.

Should we start betting on whether these silly notebooks ever ship? :D

I'm waiting for the Crazy Dayz Clearance Sale.

Edit: We were tossing this around the other day. My wife thought that for Utah, they could have a three-for-one sale.

Edited March 4, 2017 by Mike p.

[galax-arena]

I'm pretty sure when they started trying to sell these things, before they made the whole it's on preorder sale pitch (33% off), the price of the journal was originally priced $24.

I think the original price was always $29.99. I remember because I made fun of them once since their sale price was $19.99 and they claimed it was a 30% discount. Math is not their forte. 

[galax-arena]

So, according to this B50 post, Jeremy is a 5 on the Enneagram of Personality. I had no idea what that was, so I googled and read what a 5 entailed. LOL, there is nothing about Jeremy that I would describe as "cerebral," but okay.

Quote

5 THE INVESTIGATOR

The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated

Edited March 5, 2017 by galax-arena

[Willowsmom]

Only in his own tiny mind could he be considered any of those qualities.

[Mike p.]

Well, he's definitely an innovator. The way he mounted those spy cameras, for instance, was true innovation—without the brackets and wires and all that silly nonsense. The mark of an innovator!

And don't forget the bomb shelter. He made that thing virtually disappear among the trees. And he rigged up a hidden alarm system to warn occupants—and only occupants—if intruders got near. And those escape doors that swung outward from inside: by sheer willpower he willed that no bad guys would ever block those doors to keep Roloffs from getting away. That's not just innovation, that's cerebral too.