Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Tasya]

In her book, Jill all but said that Jana was abused by Gothard. Whether or not it was true, it wasn't Jill's story to tell, especially considering her abuse. In writing and promoting her book, not a single line should have been written about any sister who hadn't given their approval and/or publicly shared the information on their own. Add that to Jill having been the acknowledged snitch when they were growing up, and it's not too far-fetched to think that Jana just doesn't care for her that much.

I only have 4 sisters, and if I got married, 2 of them would be lucky to even get an invite; they definitely would not be a part of the wedding party. So blaming JB for Jill not being a member of the wedding party is giving him too much power. I think going by everything else associated with this wedding, JB and Michelle likely had no influence. Jana looks to have picked her own wedding party and that's fully her right. 

I actually disagree that Jill was classy in her answer. That's a question that should have gone unanswered. Her answer is passive/aggressive.

[AstridM]

3 hours ago, Tasya said:

In her book, Jill all but said that Jana was abused by Gothard. Whether or not it was true, it wasn't Jill's story to tell, especially considering her abuse. In writing and promoting her book, not a single line should have been written about any sister who hadn't given their approval and/or publicly shared the information on their own. Add that to Jill having been the acknowledged snitch when they were growing up, and it's not too far-fetched to think that Jana just doesn't care for her that much.

I only have 4 sisters, and if I got married, 2 of them would be lucky to even get an invite; they definitely would not be a part of the wedding party. So blaming JB for Jill not being a member of the wedding party is giving him too much power. I think going by everything else associated with this wedding, JB and Michelle likely had no influence. Jana looks to have picked her own wedding party and that's fully her right. 

I actually disagree that Jill was classy in her answer. That's a question that should have gone unanswered. Her answer is passive/aggressive.

I don’t think she revealed any details about what may have happened to Jana, but obviously YMMV 🤷‍♀️. I appreciated her answer. 

[Tasya]

I guess mileage will vary, but IMO, Jill could have written that entire passage without adding anything about Jana being "one of Gothard's girls." In the context of what we know about him and what he was doing, it's very insinuating. She could have simply highlighted the family's interactions with Gothard and his cult and never sneakily added in there that one of the sisters spent extra special time with him. She (or Derrick) knew that adding that would give that section/mention more oomph.

[Absolom]

3 hours ago, AstridM said:

I don’t think she revealed any details about what may have happened to Jana, but obviously YMMV 🤷‍♀️. I appreciated her answer. 

She didn't.  Everything was vague which is almost worse.  Many people fill in the blank with the worst speculation.  As said above it was not her story to tell and she should have completely left it out.

[jschoolgirl]

10 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

But now that we know it wasn't Jill's decision, we know the book influenced the decision

How do we know this?

[AstridM]

1 hour ago, jschoolgirl said:

How do we know this?

We don’t .

[GeeGolly]

3 hours ago, jschoolgirl said:

How do we know this?

2 hours ago, AstridM said:

We don’t .

We know this because as was posted by Ginger90 upthread, when Jill was asked why she wasn't part of the wedding party she said she didn't know why. If she declined, she would know why.

 

 

[ginger90]

[Is Everyone Gone]

I interpreted "one of Gothard's girls" to mean that Jana was a favorite within the fundie community. And ... she is. She's been hailed as a model of devoutness, femininity, and devotion to family. Also been praised for her evident organizational skills in running such a huge family.

 

[Zella]

4 hours ago, Is Everyone Gone said:

I interpreted "one of Gothard's girls" to mean that Jana was a favorite within the fundie community. And ... she is. She's been hailed as a model of devoutness, femininity, and devotion to family. Also been praised for her evident organizational skills in running such a huge family.

 

Except the book makes it clear that's not what the name meant. It's a reference to her service at his HQ and his preference for blondes, which was apparently well known within the movement.

[Gemma Violet]

Jill and Derrick still have their dog.  She's shown in the kitchen in Jill's latest IG video.

[Is Everyone Gone]

A Fenna sighting! Yay Fenna!

https://www.instagram.com/p/C_ZINlKM6Hk/

[Gemma Violet]

Jill also has some IG story videos of them training Fenna.

[GeeGolly]

Oh goodness, Fenna is wearing a shock collar.

[lookeyloo]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Oh goodness, Fenna is wearing a shock collar.

Our precious grand dog has one too.  They had it turned on low to keep him in the yard. Now they just put it on him and don't turn it on but he makes the connection.  Better than dead in the road. And yes the yard is fenced but he managed once or twice to find a place. And no he doesn't live outside. So maybe their situation is similar.  Fenna doesn't look traumatized to me. Grand dog isn't either.  

[auntieminem]

8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Oh goodness, Fenna is wearing a shock collar.

I do not support shock collar training. However I am not sure that is shock training collar, it is not placed right.  I do think it may be one of the collars used for invisible fences (something else I don't like).  This was the only picture of her with that collar, all the others have been with a regular flat collar which she is also wearing.  When they move to this house at one point Jill was concerned because they were not able to fence off her garden as well as they did at the old house to keep her out of the garden.  So they may be using an invisible boundary system to keep her out of the garden.   Of course it might be a shock collar but it would be odd since they took her to training classes and did not use one and she is not wearing one in any other picture. In the video Derick was using food rewards. 

ETA: I realize both training and boundary e-collars are pretty much the same thing.  However for invisible fences it is not the trainer/owner delivering the warning or shock.  

Edited September 8 by auntieminem

[Notabug]

8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Oh goodness, Fenna is wearing a shock collar.

It's possible that it is one of those multi-warning collars that can be set to buzz, vibrate or shock.  My dogs wear them with the shock function turned off.  They make an electronic beep first and then vibrate a few seconds later if the dog hasn't moved.  Finally, they would deliver a mild shock if the dog didn't respond to the first 2 corrections.  I've had plenty of dogs and found the collars work pretty well and the shock function isn't needed and can be turned off.  I hope Jill and Derrick do the same.

[CalicoKitty]

1 hour ago, Notabug said:

It's possible that it is one of those multi-warning collars that can be set to buzz, vibrate or shock.  My dogs wear them with the shock function turned off.  They make an electronic beep first and then vibrate a few seconds later if the dog hasn't moved.  Finally, they would deliver a mild shock if the dog didn't respond to the first 2 corrections.  I've had plenty of dogs and found the collars work pretty well and the shock function isn't needed and can be turned off.  I hope Jill and Derrick do the same.

Maybe it is a bark control collar.  As a person living very close to a neighbor with a constantly barking dog I know I would appreciate it.

[Is Everyone Gone]

It's probably an invisible fence collar.

Fenna looks well-fed and cared for overall.

[BOOgen3]

Shock collars. Fundie blanket training for dogs.

[GeeGolly]

Anyone know where the Dillards' 12 hour road trip is taking them?

[Salacious Kitty]

2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Anyone know where the Dillards' 12 hour road trip is taking them?

Maybe to Jason's wedding?

[ginger90]

10 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Maybe to Jason's wedding?

That would be just about right.

[Gemma Violet]

She shouldn't put on social media that they'll be away from their house.

[cmr2014]

On 8/23/2024 at 6:16 PM, Is Everyone Gone said:

I interpreted "one of Gothard's girls" to mean that Jana was a favorite within the fundie community. And ... she is. She's been hailed as a model of devoutness, femininity, and devotion to family. Also been praised for her evident organizational skills in running such a huge family.

 

I think it's impossible to know for sure from our vantage point. I don't think any of us was raised in a hh like the Duggars. I also think that most of the older kids don't particularly like each other. They were pitted against each other, isolated from the outside world and largly isolated from siblings of the opposite sex, and forced to keep a smile plasterd across their faces 24/7.

I do think that Jessa and Jinger had some sort of relationship, because Jessa is a loudmouth bully and Jinger is "weak." But she seems to be making her own life now, and Jessa can't bully her -- or it may be that Jessa is happy bullying Ben and her kids and has no need for Jinger anymore.

Anyway, it wouldn't surprise me if the statement was meant as a dig at Jana, but it may not be for the reasons that seem obvious to us, but over issues in their long-standing relationship.

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, cmr2014 said:

I think it's impossible to know for sure from our vantage point. I don't think any of us was raised in a hh like the Duggars. I also think that most of the older kids don't particularly like each other. They were pitted against each other, isolated from the outside world and largly isolated from siblings of the opposite sex, and forced to keep a smile plasterd across their faces 24/7.

I do think that Jessa and Jinger had some sort of relationship, because Jessa is a loudmouth bully and Jinger is "weak." But she seems to be making her own life now, and Jessa can't bully her -- or it may be that Jessa is happy bullying Ben and her kids and has no need for Jinger anymore.

Anyway, it wouldn't surprise me if the statement was meant as a dig at Jana, but it may not be for the reasons that seem obvious to us, but over issues in their long-standing relationship.

Jill spoke about Gothard Girls in at least one interview and wrote about them in the book. Jill was implying there was a chance Gothard inappropriately touched Jana. Not her story to tell, as she knows very, very well.

[Tasya]

I completely agree, plus her responses to various questions about that section of the book were very "implied abuse"-like. She knew or Derrick knew exactly what kind of speculation that section would lead to. 

[cmr2014]

On 9/22/2024 at 12:53 PM, GeeGolly said:

Jill spoke about Gothard Girls in at least one interview and wrote about them in the book. Jill was implying there was a chance Gothard inappropriately touched Jana. Not her story to tell, as she knows very, very well.

That's kind of my point. I completely agree that it was a low dig to imply Jana was abused if Jana didn't ask her to phrase it that way. That's our worldview, though, because it's informed by modern thought, books, magazines, television, etc. Jill's is formed 100% by "Wisdom Booklets."

I think that it's entirely possible that Jill was making a snarky comment about Jana and -- IMO -- implying that Jana is "used goods" in Gothard-land, or even just jealousy because Jana was "his type" and she wasn't. It could also be that Jill, after a short time in therapy, was thinking that it's important to shine a light on the culture and the damage it caused -- which she knows directly from Jana. In that case, it would be well-intentioned, but wildly inappropriate. It could also be something completely different that never even crossed my mind because I didn't grow up in a cult with 18 siblings.

I think that Jill is emerging from the cult, but it was her entire upbringing, and I would think there will be a lot of intermingling of worldviews in her mind for a long time. It wouldn't surprise me if Jana's feelings didn't cross her mind (certainly on-brand for a Duggar).

[auntieminem]

Jill posted a story on IG where she is dropping Fena at boarding, getting books at the lib. and getting things ready for their trip.  I assume it is to Jason's wedding in Tn. which is rumored to be tomorrow.  Interesting that Derick was still at work late in the evening teaching a class to police.   Joy had also posted about getting ready for a trip so I assume it was for the wedding too.

 

[Is Everyone Gone]

Jill looks like she could be covering a baby bump in her latest IG video. Honestly? Since she and Derick seem to be fairly responsible parents, I hope they do get their rainbow baby.

[YupItsMe]

Many of us thought so in their anniversary pictures and in the ones from Jana’s wedding. I guess we’ll know for sure when the baby arrives. 🙂

[Zella]

Apparently, per court paperwork someone looked up and posted on Reddit, one of Derick's court cases as a prosecutor is for Joshua Dial, who was Joe Exotic's one-time campaign manager featured in Tiger King. When reality shows collide. . . . 

Edited October 3 by Zella

[AstridM]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

Apparently, per court paperwork someone looked up and posted on Reddit, one of Derick's court cases as a prosecutor is for Joshua Dial, who was Joe Exotic's one-time campaign manager featured in Tiger King. When reality shows collide. . . . 

OMG, this is amazing!

[GeeGolly]

[EmeraldGirl]

Are the two older kids in school or what? I can’t tell. Sometimes she is outside gardening with just Freddie? Other times I swear there are kids voices around.  
 

Jill seems to have a very good life. She cooks, she gardens. She’s always doing some kind of project with the kids. They seem to have a very good life, distant from her family. But it sounds like she talks to quite a few of them. She is always commenting on everyone’s Instagram as though she’s still part of them. I am always glad to see that. And dog willing, Derrick will continue this job, and rise in the system.
 

Imagine how they drove 12 hours with three kids in the car! But somehow they managed. I personally will not drive more than 5–6 hours at a time without checking into a hotel. I have a little tolerance for the car, and I am a wimp and need a nice hotel. 

[Is Everyone Gone]

11 hours ago, EmeraldGirl said:

Are the two older kids in school or what? I can’t tell. Sometimes she is outside gardening with just Freddie? Other times I swear there are kids voices around.  

Freddie is with her. Sam and Izzy are in school.

[andromeda331]

On 10/3/2024 at 10:28 AM, Zella said:

Apparently, per court paperwork someone looked up and posted on Reddit, one of Derick's court cases as a prosecutor is for Joshua Dial, who was Joe Exotic's one-time campaign manager featured in Tiger King. When reality shows collide. . . . 

I bet TLC is wishing they could film that trial. 

[Is Everyone Gone]

Jill took the kids to a science center. That's actually awesome. Go Jill. 

I hope Izzy, Sam and Fred learned something. Maybe they even saw some fossils! 

Edited October 8 by Is Everyone Gone

[EmeraldGirl]

Jill said they belong to a local science center, so a lot of places let them in for free. That’s not a bad idea.

[Is Everyone Gone]

Jill posted about World Mental Health Day:

https://www.instagram.com/p/DA8uzudyR4D/

[GeeGolly]

Jill did it as part of a shill, but any mention about working on one's mental health is great.

[Is Everyone Gone]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Jill did it as part of a shill, but any mention about working on one's mental health is great.

I think it's 50% shill, 50% genuine. I do think Jill has extensive issues from her childhood and she needed therapy to get to a healthier mental headspace. Remember the days she was showing up to Derick's workplace during lunchtime? She was so clingy she didn't even realize how unprofessional that was.

She also has made posts about women being in abusive marriages and stuff like that. So ... it's genuine from her. And a shill. Which is okay.

[ginger90]

[Notabug]

5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Looked up the website.  This is an Oklahoma charity that provides services to victims of domestic violence, substance abusers, and others in need.  They refer people to AA and other recovery projects, help with job searches, housing assistance, provide GED opportunities and otherwise help people in trouble.  Doesn't seem to have a religious tie-in either.  Good for them.

[andromeda331]

5 hours ago, Notabug said:

Looked up the website.  This is an Oklahoma charity that provides services to victims of domestic violence, substance abusers, and others in need.  They refer people to AA and other recovery projects, help with job searches, housing assistance, provide GED opportunities and otherwise help people in trouble.  Doesn't seem to have a religious tie-in either.  Good for them.

That's great.

[Zella]

I wonder if the organization works with the DA's office and that's how that came across their radar. 

[Notabug]

28 minutes ago, Zella said:

I wonder if the organization works with the DA's office and that's how that came across their radar. 

I think that's probably the case.  I expect they might receive client referrals from the DA's office.  

[Is Everyone Gone]

That's great for Jill. And it's consistent too -- she's actually posted a lot about women leaving abusive relationships. You have a feeling that's actually a huge problem in fundie marriages that her parents always suppressed.

[SnapHappy]

Dillwad's office probably supports the charity and gave out tickets to employees.  The Dillards never spend a dime of their own money on anything charitable, and go out of their way to find freebies, even when they can pay.  They don't donate their time or participate in anything unless they get some advantage, like the swim lessons. 

She says nothing about the organization, just it's fun getting dressed up.  So what was "impactful"?

The website for the organization is bare bones, has minimal background info and a few photos with no captions.  For all it's supposed to do, it doesn't seem to be looking for much attention.  And the "Contact" link is broken.  Not a single person is identified as a director or organizer.  Shabby.

They do support the Boys & Girls Club, a worthwhile cause.  But do you think their boys are members?   Doubt it.  There's a membership fee. 

These people are still incredibly dull. 

 

 

 

Edited October 25 by SnapHappy

[Gemma Violet]

1 hour ago, SnapHappy said:

The Dillards never spend a dime of their own money on anything charitable, and go out of their way to find freebies, even when they can pay.  They don't donate their time or participate in anything unless they get some advantage, like the swim lessons.

We really don't know that.  Sometimes the people who talk the most about the  $$$ they give actually give the least and vice versa.