OutDaughtered - General Discussion

[jaynesworld]

On 7/12/2017 at 12:29 AM, Chalby said:

I remember YEARS ago, watching a certain show about 8 kids, and being taken aback by the parent’s interactions. I stayed with that show for 2 years, thinking that surely, surely, a parent isn’t that messed up to the point of bullying and criticizing a spouse in front of millions of viewers. When I realized this was the real interaction, and in fact was probably edited to reflect the nicer scenes, I couldn’t stomach it. My anxiety would go through the roof, just from watching it. How sad it that?

Anyhow, I like this couple and I love that Danielle is not uptight that her dog eats the leftovers, that she uses one spoon, that she makes sure she gets some alone time at the gym. I like that she and Adam equally snap at each other, and appreciate that their emotions were all over, and they don’t hold a grudge or resent each other.

As for Mimi – she’s moving for the money. I think she wants to be on the show and can’t be if she lives in a different city. I am a teacher, so I don’t know how she would lose her job, not find another etc. UNLESS, as someone pointed out – she worked in a private, religious school. You do not need a degree, you just need to show that you can teach the curriculum and be respectful. Unfortunately, the government school program doesn’t care – they need accreditation. (And rightfully so, I would want my children being taught by someone who wouldn’t put in the effort to garner enough education to teach my child.)

Overall, I like this family and I will keep watching until they jump the Gosling shark 😉

There are lots of critics here concerning the Gozling family. She was married to a lazy helpless man. She did everything herself. That's the difference here.

[TMI]

I can't stand to see that curved staircase and wrought iron railings with the littles around. Invitation to disaster.

[mmecorday]

Anyone notice that when they visited the old house there was a lock box on the front door?

One of the upstairs rooms in the new place looked like a screening room.

So Adam and Danielle thought that Riley would be excited about having her own room when she's slept in the same room with Hazel and Parker for as long as she can remember? I'm sure she felt she was being punished. I hope she learns to like being on her own.

I felt so sorry for Blayke. I loved playing with makeup when I was her age and it wasn't her fault that her sisters were getting into it and staining the carpet. She looked positively defeated in the van ride with her father. The little girls need to be held accountable for their misdeeds. They don't understand when their dad explains that he has to fix things because they're "just leasing" this house (wink, wink). He should say, "Don't do that because I said so."

Looked like a great party for Danielle. I did not for once think that Danielle was serious about skipping the party in favor of staying home.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I couldn't believe the amount of damage the girls did to that house in one day.     That is ridiculous.     

I think the lock box was for the remediation of the old house, so the workers could get in and out.    

Edited July 3, 2019 by CrazyInAlabama

[AUJulia]

On 6/27/2019 at 8:57 PM, KBrownie said:

Source, if you don't mind?

Local tax records show they bought the house 2/22/19. 

[jaynesworld]

On 8/10/2018 at 11:43 AM, Mrs. Hanson said:

I want a drinking game with Cajun Christmas.  Like the little ones will ever remember Cajun Christmas!!!

I have two boys, a year apart and they NEVER hit each other with their hands, fists, nothing nor with toys.  I am always a bit perplexed why the Gosselin gang and other multipled do this.  I get trying it once or twice, as it is a "fight or flight" mentality but it need to be corrected.

I agree about the hitting. My little toddlers never hit. It happened once and was corrected immediately. These kids are totally out of control.

[jaynesworld]

14 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I couldn't believe the amount of damage the girls did to that house in one day.     That is ridiculous.     

I think the lock box was for the remediation of the old house, so the workers could get in and out.    

Those kids are old enough to know it's wrong to color on walls and mirrors. Where was the time out. Where was the teaching moment ? Spoiled brats. I would never rent to this out of control family.

[TMI]

12 minutes ago, jaynesworld said:

 My little toddlers never hit. 

I felt that the girls should have been corrected when they were hitting the dad as he fixed the bed.The parents thought that it was a laughable moment.🤔

[jaynesworld]

1 minute ago, TMI said:

I felt that the girls should have been corrected when they were hitting the dad as he fixed the bed.The parents thought that it was a laughable moment.🤔

They were being taught it's ok to hit.

[AUJulia]

1 hour ago, jaynesworld said:

There are lots of critics here concerning the Gozling family. She was married to a lazy helpless man. She did everything herself. That's the difference here.

I think we watched a different show. 

[SabineElisabeth]

22 hours ago, jaynesworld said:

There are lots of critics here concerning the Gozling family. She was married to a lazy helpless man. She did everything herself. That's the difference here.

Assuming we just accept your assertions about Jon as fact, Kate remains 100% responsible for her own actions, words, attitude, treatment of others, and so on. Jon did not make her do one little teeny tiny thing;  SHE alone was and is in control of her behavior and bears personal responsibility for all of it.

21 hours ago, mmecorday said:

 felt so sorry for Blayke. I loved playing with makeup when I was her age and it wasn't her fault that her sisters were getting into it and staining the carpet. 

Going to have to watch this part again, as I thought Adam was trying to tell Blayke he knew this shouldn't affect her, however... bottom line is they can't have makeup in the house right now. Wasn't sure why Danielle started screeching about Adam blaming Blayke, as I was not getting that at all.

21 hours ago, jaynesworld said:

I agree about the hitting. My little toddlers never hit. It happened once and was corrected immediately. These kids are totally out of control.

21 hours ago, TMI said:

I felt that the girls should have been corrected when they were hitting the dad as he fixed the bed.The parents thought that it was a laughable moment.🤔

I'm always flummoxed at how many people diss the kids on these shows as hopeless brats while simultaneously swearing that their special little snowflakes would never ever ________________(fill in the blank with whatever heinous act the quints had committed this time). To be clear,  I'm not saying these flawlessly behaved little 3 yr old angels with impeccable manners and perfect self control don't exist. Just saying i haven't met any. 

21 hours ago, jaynesworld said:

They were being taught it's ok to hit.

When I was about the quints' age, I remember my daddy telling me I couldn't hurt him no matter what, and I'd hit him, sit on his arm, etc. (We didn't play this game again after I grabbed a handful of hair in each fist and jumped off the couch so I was just dangling down his back. Go figure....) Yet, somehow, I was able to understand that was a game to be played with daddy only, rather than learning hitting was okay across all situations. Bet the quints don't grow up and just beat the shit outta people, either. (-:

Edited July 4, 2019 by SabineElisabeth

[sATL]

First Comment - any discussions about the 2018 Cajun Christmas ? 

I'm still laughing from the posts from last year when the Busby's "missed" it --- an extended annual family party  where everyone is waiting to see the babies , some for the 1st time, eating food, good drinking (ie that is the reason Dale said goes) and acting fun/silly, that seemed to be all packed up by early evening time . I think it was said the party was like around from 1-5..and Danielle was soooo sad she missed it..had a migraine..

Edited July 3, 2019 by sATL

[sATL]

(1) Why did they move the all stuff one day - ie why not unpack and then move the family the next few days or so?

I mean they acted like they were moving "on the run" - ie everything had to be all boxed, moved, trying to unpack, and physically moved-in in 24hrs - like they were trying to beat an eviction notice. I get it that they wanted the demolishing to get started on a specified date, but I would have moved a little over time, setting up the beds, last and before it was time to jump into them.

(2) I missed who did Danielle think the White Elephant Christmas party disguise was for - who was supposed to be the guests? I'm surprised she believed she was planning a party this massive (didn't she and the friend said they were planning at this for a while) when it was just immediate family and a few friends? I saw crackers and party nuts in a bowl.... just how much brain effort did that take to plan?

(3) re: the makeup. I would let Blayke keep it but due to the rental/lease , I would keep it with me - under lock and key. She would be welcome to play with it any time under supervision. The quints need to be taught boundaries and a little respect for property - which I suspect was a missed lesson in the old house. The writing on the bathroom mirror and wall - seemed a little staged for me.. one spot was a little high unless they moved up a chair.

(4) re: wisdom teeth/oral surgery  - in all the years (from teen - until now) of living - Danielle picks now to get all 4 wisdom teeth removed , when the holidays mean so much to her? I mean 1/2/19+ is coming. what were they trying to do - make the dental deducible for the year? waiting for someone to have an unspoken for vacation day to use by year end so they could drive her?

Edited July 3, 2019 by sATL

[Chalby]

5 hours ago, jaynesworld said:

 She was married to a lazy helpless man. She did everything herself. That's the difference here.

Yes, BUT, she was a control freak to the extreme. When he did do things he knew would help/please her, she still criticized the way it was done. You could see him gradually deflate as the years past. The one time he said (on tape) she needed to get the stick out of her butt, she could not let it go. It didn't matter that he said what we all were thinking, or that he apologized many times, she felt it was the ultimate disrespect, and would bring it up every time they disagreed. Meanwhile, I could think of worse responses. Finally, not once did she ever apologize for her mistreatment of him (that was on tape). She's a narcissist who hasn't the ability to empathize.

[Chalby]

2 hours ago, sATL said:

(3) re: the makeup. I would let Blayke keep it but due to the rental/lease , I would keep it with me - under lock and key. She would be welcome to play with it any time under supervision. The quints need to be taught boundaries and a little respect for property - which I suspect was a missed lesson in the old house. The writing on the bathroom mirror and wall - seemed a little staged for me.. one spot was a little high unless they moved up a chair.

I am happy that both parents are becoming more aware of Hazel's involvement in the quint's mischievous antics. For the longest time I was noticing her acting out, but Danielle and Adam were oblivious to the fact that their 'sweet girl' is very clever and can give attitude just as good as Riley can. She's just not as obvious or loud about it.

[Chalby]

On 10/3/2018 at 9:43 AM, penbrat said:

 I do not care about wide eyed Adam and his depression or Danielle and her tummy troubles or Mimi and her ups and downs.

Yes!!! It may have seemed cute to some (his stunned look) but by the second TH I was over Adam and his scripted responses. He can't help it, but even the amount of time and product it takes for his 'look' annoys me. The show is about quints and their antics, not their mirror-checking father.

[Chalby]

On 6/12/2019 at 2:26 AM, sATL said:

Any guesses what wrong with Parker? not answering questions when alone?

Given that Parker is clearly a smart cookie, I think maybe she is more comfortable answering questions when she is one of the gang, whereas when it's just her, she clams up. As well, when someone mentioned Parker fears answering a question incorrectly, I (as a teacher) understood. There are many children who are reluctant to answer questions, in case they are wrong. Once you've established a safe environment, where you give only positive affirmations (whether their answer is right or wrong) that's the time the shy/safe student will speak up.

[Chalby]

On 6/12/2019 at 7:34 AM, EVS said:

I’m no expert, but maybe 1,2,3 would work better if they stated the consequence up front. “Hazel, put the slime in the bucket now or you will have to go to time-out. One...Two...”

Exactly, clear expectations and consistent follow through are the best approaches to discipline. Waffling, and/or consequenting only Riley teaches the quints that what goes for one child, doesn't always go for the other.

[Chalby]

On 6/26/2019 at 12:57 PM, camom said:

It's worth noting that Parker didn't do as well on the tests, but she was still above average. I feel sorry for all of the girls because they are just part of a herd and likely get little individual attention (not a criticism, but with that many the same age, it would be extremely difficult to spend one-one-one time with each of them). 

It also bothers me that Adam doesn't want them recognized for their academic differences as he has such a negative reaction to the thought of them progressing at different speeds. I gather he would say NO if Riley was offered any enrichment programs. If they all can't do it, then one can't. Is he going to be the same way if some of them excel in athletics, but not the others?

[Chalby]

7 hours ago, mmecorday said:

Anyone notice that when they visited the old house there was a lock box on the front door?

One of the upstairs rooms in the new place looked like a So Adam and Danielle thought that Riley would be excited about having her own room when she's slept in the same room with Hazel and Parker for as long as she can remember?

For the life of me, I do not understand why they didn't put Hazel in her own room. Both of them noted that Hazel is the night owl who keeps the others awake. Why not let Parker and Riley stay together (Riley might bring Parker out of her self-imposed shyness?) while Hazel gets her own room. Hazel is usually off playing by herself, or oblivious to the others... I would think she'd embrace being a big girl like Blayke.

[ECE]

On 6/19/2019 at 6:57 PM, HooHooHoo said:

I am an early childhood educator. I am appalled by any preschool that would have a “testing day”. That is so not best practice. Children learn best through play, so good teachers assess through play—observation, anecdotal notes, games etc. 

Same!! 

[sATL]

8 hours ago, Chalby said:

It also bothers me that Adam doesn't want them recognized for their academic differences as he has such a negative reaction to the thought of them progressing at different speeds. I gather he would say NO if Riley was offered any enrichment programs. If they all can't do it, then one can't. Is he going to be the same way if some of them excel in athletics, but not the others?

yeah - I thought Adam got a clue when the 2 quints moved up to another room before the other 3. Now granted that could have been more of there are only so many available spaces at one time in toddler rooms (ie it was "business" not personal).

He is the father of 6 individual children... not a 'set' that contains 5 and 1 - which me might be thinking all "six kids"  are going to have the same academic/athletic  success and failures. He should be glad the preschool is treating them as 5 individuals , each with their own strengths and areas-for-improvement.

What is going to happen in middle school if all 5 of them try out for something like basketball or cheer-leading? If they are the best 5 great - but odds are someone isn't going to make the team.

I do wonder what exactly was his academic/athletic success esp. as it relates to his siblings? His thought process has to be coming from somewhere deep....

(side-note: might need to take a drink every-time someone says "six kids" within a episode)

Edited July 3, 2019 by sATL

[CrazyInAlabama]

I agree that the writing on the bathroom wall, and in the closet seemed awfully high for a couple of 3 year olds.    What did they do, stand on chairs to write?    

If the girls had to clean up their own mess, then I bet there would be no more destruction.    I know the parents will have to fix the closet after everything is put back up, and finish with the bathroom.    However,  the girls should learn bad behavior has consequences.    

Edited July 3, 2019 by CrazyInAlabama

[mmecorday]

Quote

any discussions about the 2018 Cajun Christmas ? 

If I never hear the words Cajun and Christmas together in one sentence ever again, I will be the happiest girl alive.

[Squirrely]

7 hours ago, Chalby said:

It also bothers me that Adam doesn't want them recognized for their academic differences as he has such a negative reaction to the thought of them progressing at different speeds. I gather he would say NO if Riley was offered any enrichment programs. If they all can't do it, then one can't. Is he going to be the same way if some of them excel in athletics, but not the others?

I think if it were Hazel instead of Riley, or any of the others, he'd have a very different reaction. 

What I want to know is why the children causing the messes aren't given scrub brushes and put to work cleaning up their messes? Or being made to put the clothes back in the closet? Make it a hell of a lot less fun to make messes, and they'll learn a hell of a lot more than a stupid timeout teaches (which is virtually nothing). They won't be able to eradicate every mark and stain on their own, but they are certainly old enough to part of it. 

[Evangeline]

16 hours ago, SabineElisabeth said:

I'm always flummoxed at how many people diss the kids on these shows as hopeless brats while simultaneously swearing that their special little snowflakes would never ever ________________(fill in the blank with whatever heinous act the quints had committed this time). To be clear,  I'm not saying these flawlessly behaved little 3 yr old angels with impeccable manners and perfect self control don't exist. Just saying i haven't met any. 

Seriously. Parents like to take credit for having a well-behaved kid, when often that's far more a reflection of just the child's personality. 

[Miss February]

Cute show, but the parents really need to discipline their children. 

The emphasis put on Danielle's birthday every year is very boring. She's 35, not 5. And, sorry producers...even though her birthday is so close to Christmas, that still doesn't make an adult's birthday an interesting subject or storyline. 

Edited July 3, 2019 by Miss February

[ehall1052]

19 hours ago, SabineElisabeth said:

bottom line is they can't have makeup in the house right now. 

Totally agree! I’ve said it on this on this site before-take away the problem and you have no problem. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

Not only the makeup, but all markers, crayons, and pens, etc. should be locked up.     I shudder to think what a sharpie would do in that house.  

Edited July 4, 2019 by CrazyInAlabama

[readheaded]

12 hours ago, ehall1052 said:

Totally agree! I’ve said it on this on this site before-take away the problem and you have no problem. 

Agreed.  I mentioned a while back in the thread that they don’t do much to set their kids or themselves up for success.  You can’t give your kids enough figurative rope to hang themselves and then be surprised when they do and whine about it.  

16 hours ago, Evangeline said:

Seriously. Parents like to take credit for having a well-behaved kid, when often that's far more a reflection of just the child's personality. 

Very true.  What’s awesome to me is when you see parents working with their kids to make progress on behavior so there’s some joint success to build on going forward.  Supernanny was built on that premise. I’d love to see Jo Frost show up at the Busbys’.  

[ButterQueen]

Oh Danielle, do you think we really believe you and Adam unpacked?  She complains too much.

[ButterQueen]

The new house looks smaller.  It has no garage.

I do not believe the girls wrote that stuff.  Even with a stool, it would hard to reach the mirror.  

Why not latch the closets?

[eel21788]

On ‎7‎/‎3‎/‎2019 at 9:07 AM, sATL said:

What is going to happen in middle school if all 5 of them try out for something like basketball or cheer-leading? If they are the best 5 great - but odds are someone isn't going to make the team.

  I know he hasn't thought ahead to the day that four of the quints get their learners' permits, but Hazel can't learn to drive because of her vision problems.

[druzy]

Why would they risk their children's health and bring them back to that house to say goodbye? The kids are young, they will get over the old house in a day or two.

When I watched the preview for next week, I noticed how staged the scene with the girls screaming while Danielle recovered from her surgery was. It looked like the producer told the kids to jump around and scream. 

Like many of you, I'm not interested in Adam's postpartum depression, his irresponsible spending, Danielle's stomach and tooth aches or Mimi's job search. Just focus on the quints. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

The new house has the huge carport, and a detached garage behind and to the left of the carport.     The garage wasn't really in the picture when they showed the house, except from the longer shots.    That way you never have to unload passengers or supplies in the weather.     The major issue is the sun heating up a car or rain when loading and unloading there, and the huge carport works fine for that. 

[AnnaMayWong]

I canNOT  abide Adam’s baby-talking manner of speech. 

Both Danielle  AND  Adam complain all the  #*$@  time.

[sATL]

8 hours ago, druzy said:

Why would they risk their children's health and bring them back to that house to say goodbye? The kids are young, they will get over the old house in a day or two.

When I watched the preview for next week, I noticed how staged the scene with the girls screaming while Danielle recovered from her surgery was. It looked like the producer told the kids to jump around and scream. 

Like many of you, I'm not interested in Adam's postpartum depression, his irresponsible spending, Danielle's stomach and tooth aches or Mimi's job search. Just focus on the quints. 

agree. and back to Danielle running to momma and/or her sisters when something happens - wouldn't it make some sense to spend the first night or two of recovery at their house? Or was she hoping the meds (they do give pretty powerful druggies after widsom teeth extraction)  would knock her out so she wouldn't hear them scream and Adam get frustrated with taking on their care  ?

Edited July 5, 2019 by sATL

[Listening]

Your children should never be your source of income. This is the common theme with most of these shows. Putting these kids on tv when their teacher is discussing them was horrible.  If you can't afford multiples, don't do IVF or reduce the number of embryos. 

[druzy]

9 hours ago, BookElitist said:

I canNOT  abide Adam’s baby-talking manner of speech. 

Both Danielle  AND  Adam complain all the  #*$@  time.

Danielle baby talks to the quints too. Hazel you have flower for mama. Why you do that? I go run and get Hazel flower. What are they making a cake? It's not cute.

[AnnaMayWong]

For clarity- -i mean Adam’s  NORMAL-iNDiViDUAL  speech(sound ➕pattern) sounds 'baby-talk’ .

[lilmarysunshine]

21 hours ago, ButterQueen said:

I do not believe the girls wrote that stuff.  Even with a stool, it would hard to reach the mirror.  

I figured they climbed on the counter and/or toilet.

[ShaNaeNae]

3 hours ago, druzy said:

Danielle baby talks to the quints too. Hazel you have flower for mama. Why you do that? I go run and get Hazel flower. What are they making a cake? It's not cute.

I can't handle Danielle's baby talk.  Talk to your kids like people.  She doesn't even pronounce her "r's" when baby talking!

I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law and their 1 year old.  SIL kept doing that to my neice.  The rest of us were looking at each other with panicked looks of "is she really baby talking?".  After we got out of there, we immediately started talking about it.  

[winsomeone]

"Seriously. Parents like to take credit for having a well-behaved kid, when often that's far more a reflection of just the child's personality. "

You don't believe that the home environment and nurturing have any sway on how a child turns out? If that is the case, might as well drop our kids off in the woods to be raised by wolves and save a lot of time and money..they would turn out just as well you are trying to say?

[HahYallDoin]

4 hours ago, winsomeone said:

"Seriously. Parents like to take credit for having a well-behaved kid, when often that's far more a reflection of just the child's personality. "

You don't believe that the home environment and nurturing have any sway on how a child turns out? If that is the case, might as well drop our kids off in the woods to be raised by wolves and save a lot of time and money..they would turn out just as well you are trying to say?

I couldn’t agree more. Disciplining and teaching manners, along with boundaries, requires parental dedication for at least a couple of years without cessation. No matter how tired you are, stressed out with life events, illness, etc., if you want to accomplish the above mentioned, you have to be consistent.

Some children catch on quickly and require less redirection to comply with parental expectations, I.e. our daughter who is four years younger than our son. The son who was on the receiving end of lots of our attention as we worked through the 18 month - 6 year age range. The most trying times were the first two or so years in the process, followed by frequent and consistent reminders from then on. 

Our son and daughter have different personalities but both had excellent manners and behavior the majority of the time. My husband and I spent countless hours, while working outside of the home long hours each day, being consistent in our efforts and they paid off. Their childcare needs before Kindergarten were a combo of my mother and daycare onsite at my place of employment. We only had limited time each weekday and the weekends to accomplish our behavior goals with them and we were still successful with it. 

Danielle and Adam are lazy, IMO, find bad manners and disrespect cute, don’t care about establishing too many boundaries for their brood(makeup incidents that the kids should know better than doing and hitting one another often), allow demands from the quints for whatever they want at the moment rather than them politely asking, etc. It’s obvious that none of their family members find the behavior cute, as evidenced by their comments and eye rolling on camera. 

I am not aquatinted with parents who choose to laugh at poor behavior and shrug it off. Granted, I don’t know anyone with quints but have a couple of multiples friends(triplets and twins) with other children as well and not one of them takes the easy (hands off while laughing at the antics) route. 

I’m sure my opinion won’t be too popular here and some may ask why I watch if it bothers me so much and the answer is...my 16 year old daughter and I watch to see the cute moments, hear Dale’s commentary, laugh at Crystal’s exasperation with the antics and her parenting advice that Danielle ignores, cheer Blayke on, and roll our eyes at Mimi, Adam and Danielle. 

P.S. Adam is *such* a famewhore, it is insane. That guy bugs the hell out of me and, at times, his behavior and/or comments reinforce my disdain for him tenfold. 

Edited July 6, 2019 by HahYallDoin
Fixed a typo and changed 99% to ‘the majority’

[endure]

I liked this show but recently it's constant complaining about everything but mostly about the girls and Adam & Danielle are becoming the Bickerson's.

[readheaded]

4 minutes ago, endure said:

I liked this show but recently it's constant complaining about everything but mostly about the girls and Adam & Danielle are becoming the Bickerson's.

I was just thinking the same thing.  Danielle's obnoxious, Adam's a total pushover, and the kids are wild.  It's hard to watch.

[sATL]

On 7/3/2019 at 1:35 AM, sATL said:

First Comment - any discussions about the 2018 Cajun Christmas ? 

I'm still laughing from the posts from last year when the Busby's "missed" it --- an extended annual family party  where everyone is waiting to see the babies , some for the 1st time, eating food, good drinking (ie that is the reason Dale said goes) and acting fun/silly, that seemed to be all packed up by early evening time . I think it was said the party was like around from 1-5..and Danielle was soooo sad she missed it..had a migraine..

Sooo now in 2018...all tears from 2017 about Cajun Christmas annual family get-together (which sounds like a big downgrade) is forgotten..

b/c of all what has to be done (decorating, school christmas play, shopping) and jumping from house to house this year...

and last year's migraine headache was caused by widsom teeth coming in ?

Edited July 10, 2019 by sATL

[druzy]

I don't care about Danielle's teeth! 

[endure]

The Busby's go on so much, I understand they have several kids and it must be overwhelming but they dramatize everything, they believe they are the most stressed people in the world.  They really should take more time to actually enjoy what they do have. 

[sATL]

Progress. there are other people at the school Christmas play this year. 

I guess they dimmed the lights to keep me from really counting seats/heads.

Edited July 10, 2019 by sATL