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Small Talk: I Like Them All, I Just Can't Choose!

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Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

7 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

IMO, frequent calls and visits are like an insurance policy for you and your mom.  If you don't already, I would switch up the day you visit from week to week also, if possible.  Keep 'em guessing, and on their toes.  If you don't like the answers you're getting, ask for the next one up the ladder until you can't get higher.  In my experience, the 'pest' factor will produce positive results, not negative.  My husband visited the administrator one day, and calmly explained to her that the next time he found soiled incontinence products in his mother's room, anywhere, they would be deposited on her desk forthwith.  It never happened again.  We were fortunate that we had three of us who visited on the regular.  No question that it was a benefit.

Just be careful that you don't rent too close to George and Amal.  New twins 'n all, might be noisy.

Good advice, @SuprSuprElevated  Sometimes my friend is able to switch up our visits and I'm glad of that for the reasons you state.  I'm always polite to the staff but assertive, letting them know by my body language and attitude that I "mean business".  I make it a point to know all their names (but remembering is sometimes difficult, lol) and let them know how appreciated they all are, because they tell me that more often than not, the patient's families assume a dismissive air.  I make my concerns known without alienating anyone. (this is one area I'm thankful to be a Libra, lol -- diplomatic, charming, but firm (Taurus rising)

Frankly I wouldn't mind Clooney and clan "invading" my Italian Riviera fantasy.  They're a class act. 

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Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

2 hours ago, Rustybones said:

I was privileged to see Lake Como during a trip to Europe in the 80's.  It was very beautiful.  My second choice of a perfect place to live, next to the Almafi Coast in Italy.

I've never been to Lake Como but have watched endless videos on YouTube.  Exquisite -- the vacation site for all those Roman emperors.  The Amalfi Coast isn't too shabby either, lol.

But first and foremost I'm drawn to the south of France.  That's my "soul" place.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

19 minutes ago, ennui said:

I love Giant!  Read the book, too. Rock Hudson as Bick Benedict, Elizabeth at the height of her beauty, and James Dean and Dennis Hopper. Love.

But you aren't a medical professional. 

What I don't understand about Giant is why did George Stevens, who was normally such a meticulous director, allow the stylists to give all the main aging characters that same silly blue-gray hair?  

On a more serious note, I of course will listen to the medical professionals and act accordingly when the time comes.

ennui

ennui

(edited)

I remember an interview with Rock Hudson in his later years (but before AIDS). He said he was amazed at how accurately their characters had looked, because by then, Rock did look just like the older Bick. Liz looked like Leslie, but Liz dyed her hair. 

I love Chill Wills. "You know that bourbon will kill you." "Well, it or me, one of us has to go."

Edited by ennui
SuprSuprElevated

SuprSuprElevated

2 hours ago, Bronx Babe said:

Good advice, @SuprSuprElevated  Sometimes my friend is able to switch up our visits and I'm glad of that for the reasons you state.  I'm always polite to the staff but assertive, letting them know by my body language and attitude that I "mean business".  I make it a point to know all their names (but remembering is sometimes difficult, lol) and let them know how appreciated they all are, because they tell me that more often than not, the patient's families assume a dismissive air.  I make my concerns known without alienating anyone. (this is one area I'm thankful to be a Libra, lol -- diplomatic, charming, but firm (Taurus rising)

Frankly I wouldn't mind Clooney and clan "invading" my Italian Riviera fantasy.  They're a class act. 

You're smart to be friendly but firm.  The two best things you can be I think. 

lovemesomejoolery

lovemesomejoolery

@Bronx Babe I am sending hugs your way.  Please do not beat yourself up.  Be gentle with yourself in this confusing and emotion filled time.  As many have said here, hospice isn't a death sentence, it can be and is a wonderful way for a loved one to have peace and tranquility.  You are in my thoughts - be strong!

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

(edited)
5 hours ago, ennui said:

I remember an interview with Rock Hudson in his later years (but before AIDS). He said he was amazed at how accurately their characters had looked, because by then, Rock did look just like the older Bick. Liz looked like Leslie, but Liz dyed her hair. 

I love Chill Wills. "You know that bourbon will kill you." "Well, it or me, one of us has to go."

They even gave James Dean that same hair.   Unfortunately we'll never know if he grew into it.

I enjoy Chill Wills in every movie he's in.

1 hour ago, CanuckGal said:

Sending hugs to @Bronx Babe azz well. I'm in a similar situation. Hugs to all who are having difficulties and suffering through loss. <3

Thank you, @CanuckGal  Hugs back to you along with my thoughts and prayers.

Edited by Bronx Babe
Did Luz love Jett?
Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

1 hour ago, lovemesomejoolery said:

@Bronx Babe I am sending hugs your way.  Please do not beat yourself up.  Be gentle with yourself in this confusing and emotion filled time.  As many have said here, hospice isn't a death sentence, it can be and is a wonderful way for a loved one to have peace and tranquility.  You are in my thoughts - be strong!

Oh thanks so much, @lovemesomejoolery I'm trying to take it slow, one day and one step at a time.  Daunting but I have no other choice.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

11 hours ago, PearlClutcher said:

BB, please don't let all this throw you.  Even though it's a whirlwind right now, it will all work out as it should.  #1, you're a daughter who loves her mother and #2, is trying to do the right thing - we know that and you need to give yourself a pat on the back for that.  ? (this little guy is supposed to be hugging you)

Thanks, @PearlClutcher!  Aww, thanks for the little guy and his two tiny arm thingies, lol.

Mom and I have been through a lot these past 10 years -- the deaths of her husband, brother and sister, plus other losses and disappointments.  And like a lot of mothers and daughters, we've had our issues but I'm grateful to God I've had her this long.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

(edited)
10 hours ago, CarpeDiem54 said:

@Bronx Babe - Put me down for a "yes" on Lake Como.  "Look! It's Cosmo's moon!"

Fantastico, @CarpeDiem54!  I'm picking out the villa right now!

"Cosmo can't own the moon!"

"It costs money because it saves money"

"Your life's going down the toilet!"

Edited by Bronx Babe
lovemesomejoolery

lovemesomejoolery

3 hours ago, CanuckGal said:

Sending hugs to @Bronx Babe azz well. I'm in a similar situation. Hugs to all who are having difficulties and suffering through loss. <3

Am so happy you are back with us, but sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time.  You be strong and take care of yourself, too (or azzz well, as you say - which always makes me laugh!).

zoemom

zoemom

On ‎6‎/‎7‎/‎2017 at 7:23 PM, Bronx Babe said:

@Thumper  Thank you for asking.  It's getting more complicated by the minute.  The head nurse at the nursing home said I should consider hospice, even though Mom is not terminally ill.  This nurse said that it's not a "death sentence" and that my mother just might need more "comfort" or whatever, even though she is stable now after they brought her heartbeat down. She's been lethargic and not eating enough.  I told the nurse that if Mom needs more help than the nursing home can give in terms of a health crisis, that they should send her back to the hospital.  The "attending physician's assistant" at the nursing home (not Mom's PCP) told me in so many words that even though Mom has bounced back before from these hospital stays, at 96 she is "declining".  I am now wondering if this is because Mom has a DNR in place, and if the nursing home thinks they no longer have to provide maximum care.  As POA, perhaps I should revoke the DNR?  That is, if Mom has a respiratory or heart seizure, I would want them to do everything they can to prolong her life.  I'm so confused.  Even her PCP, who she has known for over 20 years, told me that at 96 it would behoove me to utilize the DNR, as what quality of life could she continue to have -- so I don't know if even this primary care doctor would think my revoking the DNR a wise thing.  I just want Mom around for as long as possible.  The nursing home is pushing the hospice thing but Mom is nowhere near death's door.  Yes, it probably is a "matter of time" but I don't believe quite yet.

BB, I also am a big proponent of hospice care.  Unfortunately (or actually fortunately for all involved), my dad's parents were both hospice patients (back in the late 90's, they were in inpatient facilities), both had terminal diseases and hospice was a godsend, they did not suffer and we were allowed to visit anytime we wished, the hospice was a very home-like environment.  Most hospices, (at least where I live) visit their patients wherever they might be. 

Most recent (2016), we went through the hospice experience with my dad.  My mom passed away ten years previous, after her death my dad initially did well, but he started to have problems in 2014. I received a call around midnight from the police in a city that was almost 100 miles south of my dad's house.  They had found my dad, in his car, he was confused and had no recollection of how he got there.   He was fine (very embarrassed) when we went to get him and begged me not to tell my brother what happened.  I did tell my brother, he related so other "experiences" I had not known about and so we all went off to see his physician.  The doctor told him no more driving, my dad called me the next day and said he wanted to look at "senior facilities". 

He did well in assisted living, but a year later had a stroke and went to the facilities' nursing home side.  He only recovered partially, he could no longer walk, then cognitively declined.  I used to work with hospice nurses so I talked with a couple of them, they explained the how, what, and where's of hospice.  I worked for a pediatric facility; they gave me names of several of the adult hospice services.  The only thing I don't like hearing is that hospice facilities are calling you; do a little bit of internet research and also ask your mom's primary care provider if he/she has a hospice organization he/she recommends.  My dad had hospice care for eight months.  He also had a DNR in place and even prior to him becoming ill, he let us know that he wanted no "heroics" when it became his time. (and BTW dad also told us to make sure to get his six gold fillings!) 

Regardless of her status, any quality facility should not change their standard of care regardless of a patient's status.

I echo Carpe's sentiments, (and I know this might sound awful), hospice made what was a very difficult time for all of us into the best experience possible for everyone involved.  They coordinated care with dad's nursing facility, and while my dad was in a very nice nursing facility, their staff did have other patients to care for and for the last month or so my dad required more care.  Hospice came in daily, made sure he ate (when he could) kept him comfortable.  Since both me and my brother work, and I live about an hour away from where my dad was, they also had an aide that visited and sat and watched TV in addition to the care they provided and would talk when my dad felt like it.  A pastor visited weekly and my dad really enjoyed that. We were encouraged to contact them with any questions at any hour and his hospice nurses and pastor would often check in with us to see how we were doing.  After my dad passed, they also offered on going grief counseling services at no charge. 

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.  It's so difficult when it comes to our parents - I still miss my mom and dad every day.   I know first hand, both from working in healthcare for 25+ years (and for almost as many years. being on the receiving side of it) how difficult and confusing it is, even more when your facing such hard decisions.  I'm sure (you and the Great Broxini) will do what is best for your mother.  Please keep us updated and know you are in my thoughts.

TexasTiffany

TexasTiffany

11 hours ago, zoemom said:

BB, I also am a big proponent of hospice care.  Unfortunately (or actually fortunately for all involved), my dad's parents were both hospice patients (back in the late 90's, they were in inpatient facilities), both had terminal diseases and hospice was a godsend, they did not suffer and we were allowed to visit anytime we wished, the hospice was a very home-like environment.  Most hospices, (at least where I live) visit their patients wherever they might be. 

Most recent (2016), we went through the hospice experience with my dad.  My mom passed away ten years previous, after her death my dad initially did well, but he started to have problems in 2014. I received a call around midnight from the police in a city that was almost 100 miles south of my dad's house.  They had found my dad, in his car, he was confused and had no recollection of how he got there.   He was fine (very embarrassed) when we went to get him and begged me not to tell my brother what happened.  I did tell my brother, he related so other "experiences" I had not known about and so we all went off to see his physician.  The doctor told him no more driving, my dad called me the next day and said he wanted to look at "senior facilities". 

He did well in assisted living, but a year later had a stroke and went to the facilities' nursing home side.  He only recovered partially, he could no longer walk, then cognitively declined.  I used to work with hospice nurses so I talked with a couple of them, they explained the how, what, and where's of hospice.  I worked for a pediatric facility; they gave me names of several of the adult hospice services.  The only thing I don't like hearing is that hospice facilities are calling you; do a little bit of internet research and also ask your mom's primary care provider if he/she has a hospice organization he/she recommends.  My dad had hospice care for eight months.  He also had a DNR in place and even prior to him becoming ill, he let us know that he wanted no "heroics" when it became his time. (and BTW dad also told us to make sure to get his six gold fillings!) 

Regardless of her status, any quality facility should not change their standard of care regardless of a patient's status.

I echo Carpe's sentiments, (and I know this might sound awful), hospice made what was a very difficult time for all of us into the best experience possible for everyone involved.  They coordinated care with dad's nursing facility, and while my dad was in a very nice nursing facility, their staff did have other patients to care for and for the last month or so my dad required more care.  Hospice came in daily, made sure he ate (when he could) kept him comfortable.  Since both me and my brother work, and I live about an hour away from where my dad was, they also had an aide that visited and sat and watched TV in addition to the care they provided and would talk when my dad felt like it.  A pastor visited weekly and my dad really enjoyed that. We were encouraged to contact them with any questions at any hour and his hospice nurses and pastor would often check in with us to see how we were doing.  After my dad passed, they also offered on going grief counseling services at no charge. 

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.  It's so difficult when it comes to our parents - I still miss my mom and dad every day.   I know first hand, both from working in healthcare for 25+ years (and for almost as many years. being on the receiving side of it) how difficult and confusing it is, even more when your facing such hard decisions.  I'm sure (you and the Great Broxini) will do what is best for your mother.  Please keep us updated and know you are in my thoughts.

@zoemom and everyone, thanks for your informative advice, experience, and thoughtfulness. I'm sorry anyone has to go through that difficult time but it helps knowing how to make a sad time more approachable and positive in the best way. 

3 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Cute story out of Oz about a too-friendly pup:

police-puppy-flunked

Happy Happy!

walnutqueen

walnutqueen

8 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Cute story out of Oz about a too-friendly pup:

police-puppy-flunked

Hah!  I worked with cops for decades, and they used our workplace & yard for all local multi-agency K-9 training.  Our cops also used my office after hours to train their dogs to "sniff" (you should've seen the claw marks on my office door!!!).  Of course, I didn't have much direct contact with the dogs, except when they were let out of the patrol vehicle to relieve themselves; if I was outside on a break, they'd run up to me for some quickie lovin'.  Our cops hosted a fundraiser for Special Olympics every year at a local eatery; many of them did duty as waiters, and the K-9 officers trolled the bar with their police dogs getting "tips" in the dogs' collars.  Naturally, I was in the bar when the cops took a break, and naturally, ferocious tough dogs Raven & Diablo jumped up on the bench beside me and started licking my face ... and licking, and licking, and licking.  They were trying to sit in my lap and rolling over for belly rubs like little puppies.  Their handlers were embarrassed as hell, and accused me of bathing in bacon grease.  :-D

TexasTiffany

TexasTiffany

5 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

Hah!  I worked with cops for decades, and they used our workplace & yard for all local multi-agency K-9 training.  Our cops also used my office after hours to train their dogs to "sniff" (you should've seen the claw marks on my office door!!!).  Of course, I didn't have much direct contact with the dogs, except when they were let out of the patrol vehicle to relieve themselves; if I was outside on a break, they'd run up to me for some quickie lovin'.  Our cops hosted a fundraiser for Special Olympics every year at a local eatery; many of them did duty as waiters, and the K-9 officers trolled the bar with their police dogs getting "tips" in the dogs' collars.  Naturally, I was in the bar when the cops took a break, and naturally, ferocious tough dogs Raven & Diablo jumped up on the bench beside me and started licking my face ... and licking, and licking, and licking.  They were trying to sit in my lap and rolling over for belly rubs like little puppies.  Their handlers were embarrassed as hell, and accused me of bathing in bacon grease.  :-D

LOL! Another good story! 

SuprSuprElevated

SuprSuprElevated

9 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

Hah!  I worked with cops for decades, and they used our workplace & yard for all local multi-agency K-9 training.  Our cops also used my office after hours to train their dogs to "sniff" (you should've seen the claw marks on my office door!!!).  Of course, I didn't have much direct contact with the dogs, except when they were let out of the patrol vehicle to relieve themselves; if I was outside on a break, they'd run up to me for some quickie lovin'.  Our cops hosted a fundraiser for Special Olympics every year at a local eatery; many of them did duty as waiters, and the K-9 officers trolled the bar with their police dogs getting "tips" in the dogs' collars.  Naturally, I was in the bar when the cops took a break, and naturally, ferocious tough dogs Raven & Diablo jumped up on the bench beside me and started licking my face ... and licking, and licking, and licking.  They were trying to sit in my lap and rolling over for belly rubs like little puppies.  Their handlers were embarrassed as hell, and accused me of bathing in bacon grease.  :-D

Aw, what fun!

walnutqueen

walnutqueen

(edited)
4 hours ago, PearlClutcher said:

Hehe!  I used to have a dog who buried ice cubes, then went back to dig them up!  Poor pup.  I would give her a cup of Frosty Paws to make her forget the disappearing ice cubes.

Now I have a commercial earworm : "Trouble ...Worry" song that played while an anxious doggie kept digging up and re-burying his bone (it may have been for Travelers Insurance?).

 

ETA: got back from a cig run to find my Babalu had butt-changed the channel to Evine.  One World fashions sucked me in for a hot minute with their pretty.  I switched to my DVR'd shows before I could convince myself I needed anything other than a $3 Kohl's clearance mens' tee.  :-D

Edited by walnutqueen
walnutqueen

walnutqueen

(edited)
47 minutes ago, PearlClutcher said:

You have a pet named Babalu?  I love that!

Yes, my last remaining indoor kitty.  I watched Quick Draw McGraw and Yogi Bear cartoons eons ago, so this little buddy was destined to be my sidekick, Baba Looey or Boo Boo.  My vet's office couldn't spell Baba Looey, so he became Babalu.   :-)

I am not particularly inventive when it comes to cat names.  My dearly departed include Toulouse (someone else's name, I called him "Too Loose"), Mama Puss Puss, Da Boy, Shoe Shoe, Kitty Kitty, (Teeny Weeny) Beanie Baby, Li'l Ole Man (with Jackson Avery Eyes), and Uncle Big Boy.  My remaining backyard semi-ferals are Mama Girl, Hissy Pissy, Tiger Baby, 'Stache, and Gnash.  THEY ALL ANSWER TO KITTY KITTY KITTY, PUSS PUSS PUSS - TREATIES!  (why bother with names, anyways, eh!)  :-D

Oh, and there's also a visiting neighborhood cat I call Pretty Boy, because unlike most gray/white tuxedos or cow cats, his white stockings go all the way up and meet on his shoulders and tail like some garter belts.  I should've called him Fancy pants.  heh.

Wowza - I just derailed and waxed poetic about my effing cat names.  Why yes, I AM that weird old cat lady, why do you ask?  ;-)

Edited by walnutqueen
fat fingers, blind eyes
CarpeDiem54

CarpeDiem54

@walnutqueen - You crack me up!  I'm so nostalgic thinking about my old home where I fed feral cats (I'd have them neutered by a feral cat society and then they'd bring them back to my yard), birds and squirrels.  And an occasional fox and racoons - and I lived in a city not far from downtown.  I apparently had a sign that could only be read by animals that said Wildlife Bar and Grill on it.  Everyone always had food and there were bowls of fresh water, too.  The cats were so well fed, they'd lay there and watch the birds and squirrels not two feet from them.  Once in awhile, a cat might chase a squirrel half heartedly, but they never caught them and would usually stop and wander back to my porch and lay down again.  I not only named the feral cats but I named some of the squirrels.  One was named Mr. Pee Pants because he'd race across the yard when he saw me in the morning bringing out the bird seed, cracked corn and peanuts, and would race up one of my porch supports and hang upside down waiting for me to hand him a peanut.  He'd get so excited, he'd pee himself.  LOL!  Good times.

walnutqueen

walnutqueen

8 minutes ago, CarpeDiem54 said:

@walnutqueen - You crack me up!  I'm so nostalgic thinking about my old home where I fed feral cats (I'd have them neutered by a feral cat society and then they'd bring them back to my yard), birds and squirrels.  And an occasional fox and racoons - and I lived in a city not far from downtown.  I apparently had a sign that could only be read by animals that said Wildlife Bar and Grill on it.  Everyone always had food and there were bowls of fresh water, too.  The cats were so well fed, they'd lay there and watch the birds and squirrels not two feet from them.  Once in awhile, a cat might chase a squirrel half heartedly, but they never caught them and would usually stop and wander back to my porch and lay down again.  I not only named the feral cats but I named some of the squirrels.  One was named Mr. Pee Pants because he'd race across the yard when he saw me in the morning bringing out the bird seed, cracked corn and peanuts, and would race up one of my porch supports and hang upside down waiting for me to hand him a peanut.  He'd get so excited, he'd pee himself.  LOL!  Good times.

OMFG, Carpe - you are my long lost twin!!!  I'm going to make a sign for "Walnutqueen's Wildlife Bar & Grill" some day.  

Right now, the starlings are raising a bunch of their young'uns on my cat food.  They have NO fear, and perch on the cat bowls with my ferals a few mere feet away.  They also drink & bathe in the water dishes.   Ferals give zero shits about birds, and have no interest in chasing them.  My Babalu, on the other hand, goes apeshit & does his little chatter whenever he sees a damned bird.  He jumps up at the one feeder by my window several times a day, and just hangs from the window-screen in frustration ... He's a slow learner and has been doing this (and alerting me to the mailman 6 days a week) for almost a decade.

Your Mr. Pee Pants squirrel reminds me how much I miss my Sunday evenings with The Walking Dead, and Father Pee Pants.  ;-)

SuprSuprElevated

SuprSuprElevated

7 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

Now I have a commercial earworm : "Trouble ...Worry" song that played while an anxious doggie kept digging up and re-burying his bone (it may have been for Travelers Insurance?).

 

ETA: got back from a cig run to find my Babalu had butt-changed the channel to Evine.  One World fashions sucked me in for a hot minute with their pretty.  I switched to my DVR'd shows before I could convince myself I needed anything other than a $3 Kohl's clearance mens' tee.  :-D

I do remember that!  Cute ad.

Bronx Babe

Bronx Babe

(edited)

Dear Friends,

I put Mom in  hospice and yes, it was the best decision I could have made.  She was brought first into the hospital as I had initially requested.  They were attending to her and there was already a hospice nurse there to gently tell me that Mom could be immediately brought to Hospice By The Sea and that I could ride in their ambulance to see the place and get Mom situated.  I couldn't believe it was that "easy"  -- I just assumed I'd have to call a dozen hospice places and that the whole experience would take a lot of time and frustration but it really was like a band of angels helped to relieve Mom's and my suffering. 

They put Mom in a lovely room that's decorated like "Old Florida" -- white shutters, wall art with shell motifs, a beautiful lamp with an abstract sea design.  She was admitted Friday and one doctor said she could maybe last one night or two but now it's been three days and Mom is still hanging on.  Everyone is amazed but I keep telling them that my mother has always been a survivor, and now she's in the fight of her life.  I do realize it is now literally only a matter of time.  The place is only fifteen minutes from where I live so I've been able to spend the night there and then visit her during the day.  My cousin (who happens to be a nurse) has been by my side to lend support, and my best friend as well.  I'm still dreading that final call, but in the meantime, I cling to the fact that Mom is still here, even though she really doesn't know I'm there.  Her eyes are always shut although when I speak to her they flutter -- she can still hear I believe. 

Hospice By The Sea is remarkable -- a complementary breakfast is offered to family who stay the night.  There is a family room, snacks (cookies), coffee, etc.  The staff is excellent.  The medical technicians are treating Mom with dignity.  They really are angels.

Edited by Bronx Babe
imisspuddy

imisspuddy

53 minutes ago, Bronx Babe said:

Dear Friends,

I put Mom in  hospice and yes, it was the best decision I could have made.  She was brought first into the hospital as I had initially requested.  They were attending to her and there was already a hospice nurse there to gently tell me that Mom could be immediately brought to Hospice By The Sea and that I could ride in their ambulence to see the place and get Mom situated.  I couldn't believe it was that "easy"  -- I just assumed I'd have to call a dozen hospice places and that the whole experience would take a lot of time and frustration but it really was like a band of angels helped to relieve Mom's and my suffering. 

They put Mom in a lovely room that's decorated like "Old Florida" -- white shutters, wall art with shell motifs, a beautiful lamp with an abstract sea design.  She was admitted Friday and one doctor said she could maybe last one night or two but now it's been three days and Mom is still hanging on.  Everyone is amazed but I keep telling them that my mother has always been a survivor, and now she's in the fight of her life.  I do realize it is now literally only a matter of time.  The place is only fifteen minutes from where I live so I've been able to spend the night there and then visit her during the day.  My cousin (who happens to be a nurse) has been by my side to lend support, and my best friend as well.  I'm still dreading that final call, but in the meantime, I cling to the fact that Mom is still here, even though she really doesn't know I'm there.  Her eyes are always shut although when I speak to her they flutter -- she can still hear I believe. 

Hospice By The Sea is remarkable -- a complementary breakfast is offered to family who stay the night.  There is a family room, snacks (cookies), coffee, etc.  The staff is excellent.  The medical technicians are treating Mom with dignity.  They really are angels.

My dear, sweet Bronxoni,

.  She knows. She knows. 

    Sending love and hugs. 

    I am holding you close. 

                    xo

Ladyrain

Ladyrain

Bronx Babe, I teared up reading your post and send warm, loving wishes to you and your Mom, hoping this last leg of her journey is peaceful and calm.  You sound like the best daughter ever.  This must be difficult for you on many levels; my mother and father both died in their sleep, quite unexpectedly, so situations such as yours touch my heart deeply, as I cannot imagine all the emotions involved in letting go.  Thank you for sharing this part of your story.?

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