Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

Nysha · May 4, 2020

I'm happy hand sanitizer, paper products and bleach are back. Now if I could just get some yeast, plus disinfectant wipes and sprays, I'd be set.

I'm so sorry for those of you having issues with depression during this time. My doctor upped my anxiety meds b/c I'm working from home and having a hard time caring enough to actually do anything. My mom passed away in January, so I was already having issues with grief. Now, all I want to do is curl up and mentally escape.

Kyanight · May 4, 2020

Nysha - when I click on the heart it's a hug!

Teafortwo · May 5, 2020

On 5/1/2020 at 11:21 AM, TurtlePower said:

So here I sit, feeling sad, useless, not getting any younger and full of regret. I cry every day, alone, away from everyone because I don’t want them to see. I put on a brave face, but it’s a paper mask. I’m just taking up space.

They say you’re supposed to be able to talk about this stuff, but the second you do you’re labeled as unstable, crazy, mental or a weirdo with “issues”.

Turtlepower, I am sending you virtual hugs. I may repeat things others have said, I only had time to glance at a reply from YeahNo to your post. I have a history of depression and you sound very depressed. I was beating myself up earlier today too as I was talking to a good friend about how most people I know seem so chipper and have adjusted to our new reality so much better than I, while I floundered around in a deep depression that has only now lifted to a small degree. It is very hard to see it until you start to come out of it.

My friend threw me a lifeline when he said "Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Some of us have deeper sensitivities and take longer to adjust." So I am turning to you and saying the same thing. I've been trying to keep a lid on my feelings when talking with most friends - I haven't been too good at it lately though. My fear is not that they will label me as unstable (so many of us are unstable now, the entire world is unstable) -- instead, I worry that I will wear them out airing my feelings and daily struggles when they are trying to cope with theirs, and they will start to dread my calls thinking I'm such a drag.

Please, please remember this: you have so much to offer the world. You have family who love you. You are NOT useless. That is depression talking to you and telling you that. I am sure you are and have been a valued member of many communities. When you made those decisions about the CE the reality of the world was different. No one expected this. (I would love to have a background in public safety, because then I might qualify for a contact tracing job.) I am floundering around trying to figure out how to reinvent myself too. (But first I have to figure out how to get rid of the mice infestation in my apartment.) I've worked in the events business for the past 15 years. I'm a COL that cannot afford to retire. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Depression is a NORMAL response to what is going on. Totally normal. Much more normal than perky people who are just soooo happy to have time to bake etc. (I think those people also have a lot of money.) They are the exception right now. Some people are better able to compartmentalize than others, and enjoy the moment rather than worrying. I am not one of them. I have trouble managing stress in normal times. This situation is exacerbating so many people's deepest fears and emotions, and lots of buried shit from the past. Please keep reaching out to us, and to anyone else whom you feel comfortable discussing your feelings with. As E.M. Forster wrote, "Only connect." (and yes I had to look up the author of that phrase).

You will come out of this. Trust me. I was once so depressed I didn't think recovery was possible. I hit rock bottom so many times in my 20s and 30s. The one thing I learned is that eventually, I always came out of it. I was fortunate after many years of anti-depressants to be able to manage without medication, just on the faith that the depression would lift as it always had. These past few weeks though, I didn't even realize how depressed I was until it started to lift.

I'm not saying that tomorrow I won't wake up and be completely depressed. But I know my friend is right and I am going to try to be kinder to myself. Please do the same. Think of how you'd talk to a beloved pet or a small child, and talk to yourself that way. I used to tell my cat "You're such a good girl" over and over (she truly was). Now I am going to try telling that to myself. We have to give ourselves a break. Baby steps. So hard to do something you enjoy when you are depressed, but try to do at least one nice thing for yourself every day. Crying is good, because that is feeling your feelings, rather than bottling them up. Let yourself cry when you need to. Thank you for posting and please keep posting if it helps. We are here and we love you, too. Please stop beating yourself up though!

Edited May 5, 2020 by Teafortwo
removed repetition and made paragraphs

Teafortwo · May 5, 2020

19 hours ago, crimson23 said:

Oh and another tip for plugging holes. You can google it. We grew up with plaster walls and were always fixing holes A good tip is to plug the holes or crevices, wide cracks, with some steel wool and then caulk or plaster. It holds it altogether in place and varmints can't claw threw it easily.

Thanks, Crimson I appreciate your replies. I've actually ordered stainless steel wool after some research online, I learned it doesn't deteriorate like regular steel wool. I know about glue traps too but I hesitate to use them because I've heard of mice gnawing their legs off to escape and that is something I cannot bear.

crimson23 · May 5, 2020

25 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

Thanks, Crimson I appreciate your replies. I've actually ordered stainless steel wool after some research online, I learned it doesn't deteriorate like regular steel wool. I know about glue traps too but I hesitate to use them because I've heard of mice gnawing their legs off to escape and that is something I cannot bear.

Yikes. never experienced that. We did check them regularly and found none alive. I think they are prone to fast heart attacks. This is gruesome convo. ☹️

Teafortwo · May 5, 2020

On 4/30/2020 at 12:08 PM, AZChristian said:

If he has had to go into a store, I make him take a shower. Over cautious? Yep. No apologies.

Not over cautious. Smart. So many people not wearing masks here in NYC, it is just sickening (literally). I was out today for just a bit, weather is so beautiful now. I tried to focus on the one mother with two young kids who were all wearing masks. I called out to them as they passed me (at a safe distance because I moved into a doorway to avoid people coming toward me), saying "God bless you for wearing masks" and the young boy, who couldn't have been more than 8, wished me well. Those people give me faith in humanity, but unfortunately they seem to be outnumbered by people who argue that they have a "right" not to wear masks, and nobody has the right to make them. I have to make a conscious effort not to say anything to people not wearing masks. One guy with his kid came toward me at an intersection and I bolted a few feet away down the other street. He started laughing and said to his son "We scared her." I did yell at him that it was not funny, not at all. At least they were wearing masks. Luckily they just went on their way.

Yeah No · May 5, 2020

2 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Turtlepower, I am sending you virtual hugs. I may repeat things others have said, I only had time to glance at a reply from YeahNo to your post. I have a history of depression and you sound very depressed. I was beating myself up earlier today too as I was talking to a good friend about how most people I know seem so chipper and have adjusted to our new reality so much better than I, while I floundered around in a deep depression that has only now lifted to a small degree. It is very hard to see it until you start to come out of it.

My friend threw me a lifeline when he said "Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Some of us have deeper sensitivities and take longer to adjust." So I am turning to you and saying the same thing. I've been trying to keep a lid on my feelings when talking with most friends - I haven't been too good at it lately though. My fear is not that they will label me as unstable (so many of us are unstable now, the entire world is unstable) -- instead, I worry that I will wear them out airing my feelings and daily struggles when they are trying to cope with theirs, and they will start to dread my calls thinking I'm such a drag.

Please, please remember this: you have so much to offer the world. You have family who love you. You are NOT useless. That is depression talking to you and telling you that. I am sure you are and have been a valued member of many communities. When you made those decisions about the CE the reality of the world was different. No one expected this. (I would love to have a background in public safety, because then I might qualify for a contact tracing job.) I am floundering around trying to figure out how to reinvent myself too. (But first I have to figure out how to get rid of the mice infestation in my apartment.) I've worked in the events business for the past 15 years. I'm a COL that cannot afford to retire. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Depression is a NORMAL response to what is going on. Totally normal. Much more normal than perky people who are just soooo happy to have time to bake etc. (I think those people also have a lot of money.) They are the exception right now. Some people are better able to compartmentalize than others, and enjoy the moment rather than worrying. I am not one of them. I have trouble managing stress in normal times. This situation is exacerbating so many people's deepest fears and emotions, and lots of buried shit from the past. Please keep reaching out to us, and to anyone else whom you feel comfortable discussing your feelings with. As E.M. Forster wrote, "Only connect." (and yes I had to look up the author of that phrase).

You will come out of this. Trust me. I was once so depressed I didn't think recovery was possible. I hit rock bottom so many times in my 20s and 30s. The one thing I learned is that eventually, I always came out of it. I was fortunate after many years of anti-depressants to be able to manage without medication, just on the faith that the depression would lift as it always had. These past few weeks though, I didn't even realize how depressed I was until it started to lift.

I'm not saying that tomorrow I won't wake up and be completely depressed. But I know my friend is right and I am going to try to be kinder to myself. Please do the same. Think of how you'd talk to a beloved pet or a small child, and talk to yourself that way. I used to tell my cat "You're such a good girl" over and over (she truly was). Now I am going to try telling that to myself. We have to give ourselves a break. Baby steps. So hard to do something you enjoy when you are depressed, but try to do at least one nice thing for yourself every day. Crying is good, because that is feeling your feelings, rather than bottling them up. Let yourself cry when you need to. Thank you for posting and please keep posting if it helps. We are here and we love you, too. Please stop beating yourself up though!

This is such a beautiful post, I can't even express myself. Many hugs to you for posting it!

I too have struggled with depression, but not so severely in many years. I am one of those sensitive people that feels the pain of others acutely. I'm like Deanna Troi from Star Trek: Next Generation, you know, the empath. So while I deal with my own stress and sorrow at times like this, I also feel the burden of the entire world's stress and sorrow. But this time it's worse. At least after September 11 I was able to go down to NYC to be with my loved ones to process what had just happened. I visited "Ground Zero" only a few weeks afterward, when they finally let the public near it. I had just lost my mother that June and my father and I were still reeling from that. Plus my mother had worked for many years in the Chase Manhattan Bank Building, which is only a couple of blocks away. As a teenager I watched the WTC being constructed. My mother never liked the WTC. We both predicted another attack on it after the '93 bombing. When I went up to the observation deck with friends from out of town in 1999, I was actually deathly afraid that the terrorists would come back to finish the place off while we were there. Everyone thought I was nuts, but I am not prone to being nuts about stuff like that. I had a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach the entire time I was there. On Sept. 12, 2001 my friends called me, incredulous over the fact that I was right. I spent the next several months in grief over what happened on that date to so many people. A close HS friend was almost killed when the South Tower fell. A Daily News photographer, he was there covering the event. His legs crushed, he walked again normally. A very lucky guy. At times my grief over 9/11 melded into my grief over my mother's death. My eyes were glued to TV news. It was a very sad time, but actually this time tops that. And that says A LOT.

I think the big problem now is that not only is everyone depressed, but we're depressed AND in isolation. Zoom calls are not enough. It only makes the depression worse. Those of us that enjoy solitude now feel like it's a prison. I never realized just how much my face-to-face social interactions meant to me until now. Also, there's the enormity of the sorrow being felt and the large numbers of people suffering and dying. It makes me even more afraid to set foot outside the house, which again, only adds to the depression. But I agree that depression is the more "normal" reaction here. Living in denial may be self-preserving, but it's not reality. Plus, it doesn't help anyone else deal with reality either.

My born again Christian girlfriend tells me that the negative self-talk is the devil. Well yeah, kind of. I'm a Christian but I don't see things quite like that. But yeah, I get where that's coming from. It's just that the negative self talk is part of the depression. It's all a part of the downward spiral. That is why we need the support of others, even the kind strangers on this board to help us resist that. I admit I need it too. I feel right now like I'm this annoying needy person putting the focus on myself all the time. I'm just bothering everyone making all these long posts and telling all these long stories. I should just shut up and stop. I need the encouragement of others NOT to say this to myself every time I post here. The truth is I am hoping that by sharing this stuff someone else might get something out of it that will help them. We're all in this together and we all need to know that we're not crazy, selfish or alone. That is the most important thing we need to help each other cope with reality. Others may not understand how we feel but at least there are kind and understanding souls that do.

And we can still live in the hope of a brighter tomorrow. Even though that may be hard to see right now, it will come, we just don't know when or how. We just have to hang tight until the dawn finally breaks. When I was clinically depressed about 20 years ago I went to a support group for depressed people and this was the hope I clung to through my darkest days. Back then my depression lead me to self-isolate. That was a little different than now, but similar enough. I will never forget the kindness and support of the people in that program. I truly feel that we helped each other get to a better place.

One of the most compelling and helpful things I did in that program was an exercise in art therapy. We were given a pile of magazines, a big piece of cardboard and some glue and asked to cut out photos that made us think of all the things in life that we loved. I can't even write this now without crying. I cut out pictures of people having dinner in a restaurant with friends, going for a walk in the woods, driving in a car together, cooking Italian food in a beautiful kitchen, my favorite car, a beautiful house. A gorgeous sunset. A couple kissing. The latest fashions. I looked at my own personal "story board" every day. It was an aspirational piece. These were all the things I loved that I couldn't enjoy but wished I could enjoy again one day. It became my goal in life, to enjoy those things again. And I did. I have never been able to look at that piece without crying, but now it's more like deep sobbing because it's not like I couldn't appreciate these things right now, it's that many of them are not possible. But truthfully, many of them are. I am thankful that I still have so many blessings in my life despite the big negatives right now. I still have my husband, who has been WONDERFUL to me. My friends are still there even though I can't be with them. I still have gorgeous sunsets and walks in the woods. I can still find enjoyment in cooking and have dinner at home. I can even go out in the car for a drive. Plus I can still zoom with friends and enjoy this board. So there are many things that I (and you too) can still find some enjoyment in, while not denying the negative stuff.

And most importantly of all, WE STILL HAVE EACH OTHER!!!

This too shall pass. I think that when it finally does, we will all be more appreciative of the little things in life that we learned from this not to take for granted. Like the power of each other to lift our souls and help us stop getting down on ourselves. That's just a figment of the depression, but it's not reality. We are worth it, and I thank God every day that I have good, kind, loving people to remind me and each other of that!

God bless all of you!

Yeah No · May 5, 2020

3 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Not over cautious. Smart. So many people not wearing masks here in NYC, it is just sickening (literally). I was out today for just a bit, weather is so beautiful now. I tried to focus on the one mother with two young kids who were all wearing masks. I called out to them as they passed me (at a safe distance because I moved into a doorway to avoid people coming toward me), saying "God bless you for wearing masks" and the young boy, who couldn't have been more than 8, wished me well. Those people give me faith in humanity, but unfortunately they seem to be outnumbered by people who argue that they have a "right" not to wear masks, and nobody has the right to make them. I have to make a conscious effort not to say anything to people not wearing masks. One guy with his kid came toward me at an intersection and I bolted a few feet away down the other street. He started laughing and said to his son "We scared her." I did yell at him that it was not funny, not at all. At least they were wearing masks. Luckily they just went on their way.

I know what you're talking about. My best friend in the Bronx tells me these stories all the time. It's just unbelievable. I still see these people even here in CT, but at least most of them are able to achieve an appropriate distance from each other and it's easy enough for me to avoid them if I need to. My Bronx friend is afraid to walk in her neighborhood because there are so many people out in the street without masks. She has had to figure out a route where she can successfully avoid people to at least get some exercise, but it hasn't been easy. I will have to go to NYC myself eventually to retrieve my father's ashes and deal with his apartment but due to these stories and the news about the situation there I don't know when I'll be able to do that. The numbers may be going down but at this rate they'll start climbing again if so many people act like this.

These people that won't wear masks and have this defiant attitude trying to force governors to open things up prematurely is very destructive. I had a zoom appointment with my doctor today and he thinks they are crazy and it's way too soon. Ask any medical professional and you'll hear the same thing. So far Gov. Lamont has resisted these people but I hope he doesn't compromise because it can backfire and then the death toll will start rising again. This will only prolong things and make it worse for everyone including them in the end. I can't understand how these people are too selfish and stupid to see that!!

Edited May 5, 2020 by Yeah No

Kyanight · May 5, 2020

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

These people that won't wear masks and have this defiant attitude trying to force governors to open things up prematurely is very destructive. I had a zoom appointment with my doctor today and he thinks they are crazy and it's way too soon. Ask any medical professional and you'll hear the same thing. So far Gov. Lamont has resisted these people but I hope he doesn't compromise because it can backfire and then the death toll will start rising again. This will only prolong things and make it worse for everyone including them in the end. I can't understand how these people are too selfish and stupid to see that!!

All of these stupid people protesting about their "freedoms" - they are free to get a job as an essential worker. Our meat packaging companies need workers badly, as so many of them are now sick with Covid19. Grocery stores and Amazon are hiring everywhere. You don't need a specialized education to work in those positions. But guess what - the people who are throwing childish tantrums aren't the ones who work in those positions... THEY either don't even work or they can work at home. They just want OTHER people to get back to operating the casinos and cutting hair and whatever doesn't cause an INCONVENIENCE FOR THEM in any way, should they choose to use that service. These people are the HEIGHT of entitled and selfish. To the protesters: With privileges come responsibility. If you have a decent life (and I'm not talking wealth) you should look out for others around you, and that means wearing a mask so that THEY can stay healthy and well.

Kohola3 · May 5, 2020

5 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

If you have a decent life (and I'm not talking wealth) you should look out for others around you, and that means wearing a mask so that THEY can stay healthy and well.

Here's the thing - they don't care. They are only interested in their own comforts and wants, screw everything else.

I was thinking about World War II where everybody pulled together, everybody went without to support the nation, everybody looked out for everybody else. Neighbors traded ration coupons so that a mom could pull together enough sugar and flour to bake a birthday cake. People planted victory gardens so that food could be sent overseas. That's why they were called the Greatest Generation. Their deprivations went on for years, not weeks.

We have the potential for stepping up but our selfish lifestyles have tainted us, I fear. We are too used to creature comforts and "I want even if I don't need" that we're willing to kill off our neighbors, the weak, the homeless, the elderly, the incarcerated so as to "lessen the drain on society". It's just so sad.

Yeah No · May 5, 2020

2 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

Here's the thing - they don't care. They are only interested in their own comforts and wants, screw everything else.

I was thinking about World War II where everybody pulled together, everybody went without to support the nation, everybody looked out for everybody else. Neighbors traded ration coupons so that a mom could pull together enough sugar and flour to bake a birthday cake. People planted victory gardens so that food could be sent overseas. That's why they were called the Greatest Generation. Their deprivations went on for years, not weeks.

So true. We have people now that can't even engage in self-sacrifice for a few weeks let alone years. Many of them are getting supported too so it's not like their entire livelihoods are going down the drain. They're big crybabies, coddled and entitled. They definitely didn't have MY childhood!

When I tell people that my father wasn't present at my birth they think it's horrible and how could he not be let go early from his Army Reserve "summer camp" duty to be there? But it wasn't like that back then. When you served your country that came first. It was a sacrifice that both of my parents were willing to make. My mother was a WWII veteran too! But that's the generation they came from.

3 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

We have the potential for stepping up but our selfish lifestyles have tainted us, I fear. We are too used to creature comforts and "I want even if I don't need" that we're willing to kill off our neighbors, the weak, the homeless, the elderly, the incarcerated so as to "lessen the drain on society". It's just so sad.

The way people are wailing about the economy, you'd think the entire world was going to come off its axis. It's just MONEY, people! Money is replaceable. We will get by and things will get better. There are a lot of rich and famous people doing some amazing things right now and donating large sums to help others out, but unfortunately there are too many people that are so married to their fortunes that they would rather see others suffer and die than have to part with any of it.

When I tell some people that my father died, they remind me that he lived a long, wonderful life. I know that most of them mean well, but we have people out there that think that just because someone is older they are expendable. Oh, they lived their life so it's OK that they die. They're young, they "deserve" to have fun and not be kept a prisoner for grandma or grandpa. Unbelievable! My father didn't deserve to die like this without anyone there at his side in his final hours. The selfishness and meanness of these people is unbelievable! Just a few days before this he was planning his future after the pandemic was over. He had a life - his age was irrelevant. He was healthy enough that he could have lived another 5 years!

Kohola3 · May 5, 2020

14 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I know that most of them mean well, but we have people out there that think that just because someone is older they are expendable.

And there are a number of people out there (no names, politic policy) that have actually verbalized this. And specifically called out the elderly, the poor, the homeless, and those with chronic health problems because that would "free up federal money" and save the economy for the rest.

Our nation came through a depression and we will come through this again. We might not look the same and I am deeply concerned for some of those folks right here on this forum. But to trade human lives for dollars is unconscionable. It horrifies me and I'm so glad my own folks, part of the Greatest Generation and lived it their entire lives, are not here to see it.

Kyanight · May 5, 2020

24 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

He had a life - his age was irrelevant. He was healthy enough that he could have lived another 5 years!

Or more.

Adiba · May 5, 2020

Well, I’m going to be “that person” and be somewhere in the middle about opening up the economy. I don’t think anyone is expendable, particularly my 84 and 87 year old parents, who live literally just over the river from NYC. I haven’t seen them in four months, first due to the fact that I had an upper respiratory infection in January, then others in my family in February. Then the covid virus blew up in March. So I have been staying home. I have been wearing a mask going out.
But guess what? It’s MY PARENTS who are pushing to visit. They feel they don’t have time to waste and want to see everyone. I keep putting them off because I don’t want them to get sick. I tell them to let groceries get dropped off by my sister, who lives close. But yesterday, they BOTH insisted on going to the market, together. It’s a dangerous thing to start generalizing and stereotyping, imo.

Also, the people who are protesting without masks may be following the anti- masks laws that are in place— can’t wear a mask while protesting. These laws were set in place originally to prevent KKK members from concealing their identities during protests.

I am probably one of those most apolitical people out there— “same music, different maestro “ kind of person. But I don’t appreciate being labeled because I express concerns about the economy or about Constitutional freedoms. Because I also do care deeply and personally about human life and the health and well-being of my loved ones.

Yeah No · May 5, 2020

41 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

And there are a number of people out there (no names, politic policy) that have actually verbalized this. And specifically called out the elderly, the poor, the homeless, and those with chronic health problems because that would "free up federal money" and save the economy for the rest.

Our nation came through a depression and we will come through this again. We might not look the same and I am deeply concerned for some of those folks right here on this forum. But to trade human lives for dollars is unconscionable. It horrifies me and I'm so glad my own folks, part of the Greatest Generation and lived it their entire lives, are not here to see it.

It's especially unconscionable considering the incredible sacrifices made by many in that generation to protect the freedoms of the later generations. That seems to be completely lost on a lot of people these days. That's the thanks they get for making sacrifices for them! I fear for what the country and the world will look like when we get on the other side of this.

Yeah No · May 5, 2020

24 minutes ago, Adiba said:

I am probably one of those most apolitical people out there— “same music, different maestro “ kind of person. But I don’t appreciate being labeled because I express concerns about the economy or about Constitutional freedoms. Because I also do care deeply and personally about human life and the health and well-being of my loved ones.

If there were a way not to make this an either/or proposition and there was a way to act so that everyone's rights, lives and livelihoods were equally protected, that would be great, but the sheer fact is what I do in this case affects others. I can't get around that and I have to think about protecting others, not just myself, nor can I protect myself and my rights at others' expense. Protecting lives over livelihoods wins every time no matter how I spin it. I don't know if it can be framed in any other way in this situation, unfortunately. Protecting lives is unfortunately going to damage livelihoods. If you can think of a way to do both, let me know. If it means the younger people can go back to work while older people can continue isolating until it's safe for them, that might work, but the older people would need to be supported if they weren't able to do so themselves and not have to put themselves at risk. I thought that was the direction we were supposed to be going in but I haven't been paying much attention lately - I've had to distance myself from the news because it was aggravating me too much.

Kyanight · May 5, 2020

37 minutes ago, Adiba said:

Also, the people who are protesting without masks may be following the anti- masks laws that are in place— can’t wear a mask while protesting. These laws were set in place originally to prevent KKK members from concealing their identities during protests.

Yeah.... I went back and read my post to see if it was me you were responding to. When I am speaking of wearing masks, I am not talking about at the protests - I am talking about at the grocery store, Target and fast food places when picking up food. Certainly there are reasons why some individuals here and there cannot wear a mask. But what I see when I go somewhere is about 75% or higher not wearing one - and we both know damn well that not EVERYONE has health issues that interferes with their ability to be considerate of others around them.

I also don't think I labeled you - but if I did, I sincerely apologize. I get sick of being called a sheep and other mean things, so I understand how you feel.

EDIT: If someone thinks my sweet sheep icon is cute, or is just kidding with me about being a sheep - I LOVE it! I am talking about people who don't know me but say things they suppose are true about me which are really cruel. It doesn't happen on this board.

Edited May 5, 2020 by Kyanight

Adiba · May 5, 2020

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

Yeah.... I went back and read my post to see if it was me you were responding to. When I am speaking of wearing masks, I am not talking about at the protests - I am talking about at the grocery store, Target and fast food places when picking up food. Certainly there are reasons why some individuals here and there cannot wear a mask. But what I see when I go somewhere is about 75% or higher not wearing one - and we both know damn well that not EVERYONE has health issues that interferes with their ability to be considerate of others around them.

I also don't think I labeled you - but if I did, I sincerely apologize. I get sick of being called a sheep and other mean things, so I understand how you feel.

EDIT: If someone thinks my sweet sheep icon is cute, or is just kidding with me about being a sheep - I LOVE it! I am talking about people who don't know me but say things they suppose are true about me which are really cruel. It doesn't happen on this board.

I wasn’t singling you or anyone else out, Kya— just wanted to express my opinion and voice my personal situation.
In my state, you must wear a mask going inside any public place, so most people are obeying. I haven’t come across any people in my neighborhood not social distancing when out and about here.

@Yeah No, We’ll have to just disagree on the point of the economy as I do not see it as an either /or situation. The economy cannot be separated entirely from lives— it’s an over- simplification. I would like to know what people’s endgame is if NO vaccine ever becomes viable?

Yeah No · May 5, 2020

44 minutes ago, Adiba said:

@Yeah No, We’ll have to just disagree on the point of the economy as I do not see it as an either /or situation. The economy cannot be separated entirely from lives— it’s an over- simplification. I would like to know what people’s endgame is if NO vaccine ever becomes viable?

Perhaps the economy can't be separated entirely from lives, but the lives at risk because of the economy at least have a shot at making it. Those that get the deadly form of this virus don't have that opportunity. As it stands right now, if you get that deadly form of this virus, you're going to die. We don't yet have effective treatments or vaccines to significantly improve their chances. The effects of poverty can be mitigated. There are cures for being destitute, and people at least have some control over losing their lives over it. They have less control over getting and dying from this virus or we all wouldn't have to be wearing masks and staying away from each other. And economies go up and down. I have lived long enough to witness deep recessions and coming back from some bad financial situations. At least I had a chance to make it through without dying. This virus is capricious. It even kills people that are careful. Plus we don't even know the long term effects of this virus. People's lungs may have lasting effects that put them at risk for other diseases at an earlier age, and that will put a drain on the economy for sure.

When I look at the situation in terms of pros and cons, saving lives and preventing people from getting the virus until there are effective cures or a vaccine should be FIRST priority even from the POV of the economy. Just think of how bad off the economy will be if we let everything open up too soon. We could have another wave worse than the first one and be forced to shut down for an even longer time. I think the economy will actually be better off if we keep things closed for a longer time than if we open too soon and have to shut the economy down a second time. And right now in my opinion the people arguing for opening things up are asking for it to happen too soon to prevent that second wave.

As far as what to do if a decent vaccine never happens, the only way to deal with that is to find a way to protect the lives of the most vulnerable until we have some effective treatments and achieve "herd immunity" which will inevitably happen at some point. Then the incident rate will go down enough for it to be safe enough for even the most vulnerable out there to resume something like a normal life. I say "something like" because we don't know yet what the "new normal" is going to look like with anything in the future.

Kyanight · May 5, 2020

3 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

As far as what to do if a decent vaccine never happens, the only way to deal with that is to find a way to protect the lives of the most vulnerable until we have some effective treatments and achieve "herd immunity" which will inevitably happen at some point. Then the incident rate will go down enough for it to be safe enough for even the most vulnerable out there to resume something like a normal life. I say "something like" because we don't know yet what the "new normal" is going to look like with anything in the future.

Loved your entire post, but just wanted to add my two cents here. I watch CNN almost every night while I eat dinner, except for Sunday nights. "They" (Fauci, Gupta, etc. etc.) said that because this virus is "novel", they cannot say whether there even WILL be a herd immunity. It's possible, if you had a very severe case and recovered, that you could have a good immunity. It's possible, if you had a light case, that you have no immunity. It's possible that the virus will mutate and some might have some immunity and others none. It's possible that no one will have immunity, and it's possible that people might have immunity for UP to a year... 18 months... even 2 years... but then lose all immunity to this Covid19.

I equate this with the Star Trek Enterprise, heading out into unknown universes. NO ONE knows what to expect, so you have a lot of people guessing based on past knowledge of similar situations.

Dayum I'm cheesy!! 😄 Well SOMEONE'S got to be. We all can't be normal.

Yeah No · May 5, 2020

13 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Loved your entire post, but just wanted to add my two cents here. I watch CNN almost every night while I eat dinner, except for Sunday nights. "They" (Fauci, Gupta, etc. etc.) said that because this virus is "novel", they cannot say whether there even WILL be a herd immunity. It's possible, if you had a very severe case and recovered, that you could have a good immunity. It's possible, if you had a light case, that you have no immunity. It's possible that the virus will mutate and some might have some immunity and others none. It's possible that no one will have immunity, and it's possible that people might have immunity for UP to a year... 18 months... even 2 years... but then lose all immunity to this Covid19.

Sometimes the "experts" don't realize that they should just say "we don't know yet" rather than get everyone afraid that we're never going to have any lasting immunity, there might never be a decent vaccine, there might never be decent treatments, etc. Sure, that's possible, but with even a few of those things being partly possible it doesn't necessarily mean we're going to have constant outbreaks forever and never get rid of this thing. I might not remember correctly, but I think I read that you need something like 60% of people with some kind of immunity to a virus at any given time to achieve herd immunity. Through different means such as treatments and even an imperfect partially effective vaccine we can still bring the incident rate down very low, and that's all we need in order for it to be safe enough for the vulnerable to live their somewhat "normal" lives. Plus if all the younger people and those that don't care just go back to leading their normal lives at some point, we will reach a state where so many people will have had it and recovered that there won't be that many people to catch it from anymore. Of course that would take a while to happen too, but if people just go back to not social distancing etc. it will happen sooner than we think.

xwordfanatik · May 5, 2020

I may be on the paranoid side of whatever normal is, but that is what I'm basing my activities and life on nowadays.

Yes, I'd rather be safe than sorry. With uncharted territory, that just makes sense to my hyper vigilant self right now. I've expressed my concerns to my doctor, and I am very lucky to have an understanding and caring MD.

This is the place to talk about what's going on, express ourselves, support one another, and I'm very thankful to have ears to talk to, here. I'm a pretty good listener, too.

Kyanight · May 5, 2020

1 minute ago, Yeah No said:

Plus if all the younger people and those that don't care just go back to leading their normal lives at some point, we will reach a state where so many people will have had it and recovered that there won't be that many people to catch it from anymore.

Except if you do not get immunity from this then people can catch it over and over again and still be spreading it. I'm not trying to be so negative, that's just what they don't know yet. Supposedly people who have recovered from this have become sick a second time and tested positive again.

Yeah No · May 5, 2020

2 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Yes, I'd rather be safe than sorry. With uncharted territory, that just makes sense to my hyper vigilant self right now. I've expressed my concerns to my doctor, and I am very lucky to have an understanding and caring MD.

Yeah, me too. I spoke with my doctor yesterday. He is on the same page with me about this subject, plus he, like me, is hyper vigilant about it. He doesn't think he would do well if he got it.

Of course I went out walking today and had to avoid people 3 times without masks. I had to put something in the slot at the Post Office and people were coming in with masks on but not observing social distancing. I had to jump out of their way to keep a safe distance. It was a beautiful day so more people were out. Now I am worried about this....I probably shouldn't but it's how I am.

2 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Except if you do not get immunity from this then people can catch it over and over again and still be spreading it. I'm not trying to be so negative, that's just what they don't know yet. Supposedly people who have recovered from this have become sick a second time and tested positive again.

Yeah but they always qualify that statement with the fact that most if not all viruses give people some immunity even if not a "forever" kind. They just don't want to be on the record claiming stuff they don't know yet but the evidence is in favor of there being some immunity, they just don't know how much or for how long.

Kyanight · May 5, 2020

7 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Of course I went out walking today and had to avoid people 3 times without masks. I had to put something in the slot at the Post Office and people were coming in with masks on but not observing social distancing. I had to jump out of their way to keep a safe distance. It was a beautiful day so more people were out. Now I am worried about this....I probably shouldn't but it's how I am.

When I am out driving with the windows down and I pull up to a red light, I roll my window up if someone pulls up next to me and their window is down. I don't drive with a mask on - no need in my own car, and I love the fresh air. But I am not taking a chance with having someone sneeze out of the window and propelling the virus 3-4 feet into MY open window!

Kyanight · May 5, 2020

So this Georgia restaurant was testing it's ability to open up under the new guidelines and decided that they would NOT open after all, but just continue to offer Take-out. They made a video of their efforts to maintain a 6 foot distance for everyone's safety.

Edited May 5, 2020 by Kyanight

Mittengirl · May 5, 2020

I wonder what would happen if this virus mutates and a different age group is “targeted”? If, say, people under 30 are the most likely to get sick and children under 10 have the highest death rate. Would those unconcerned now be O.K. with children dying at the same rates as older people are currently? How would they look at me if I said “Keep your kids home if you don’t want them to get sick, but dammit I want a haircut and a margarita.”

CalicoKitty · May 5, 2020

As of today, our Costco REQUIRES everyone wear a mask, or you don't get to go in.

AZChristian · May 6, 2020

8 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

As of today, our Costco REQUIRES everyone wear a mask, or you don't get to go in.

It's corporate-wide. This is from the CEO, dated yesterday.

"To help protect our employees and members, effective May 4, 2020, all Costco members and guests must wear a face covering that covers the mouth and nose, at all times while at Costco."

Teafortwo · May 6, 2020

16 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think the big problem now is that not only is everyone depressed, but we're depressed AND in isolation. Zoom calls are not enough. It only makes the depression worse. Those of us that enjoy solitude now feel like it's a prison. I never realized just how much my face-to-face social interactions meant to me until now.

I agree, I often feel a let-down when a zoom call ends. I've also realized how much face-to-face interactions, even and maybe particularly with certain shopkeepers, meant to me. I used to go to the local laundromat quite often because my cotton rag rugs were too big for the machines in my building. I miss the two lovely Chinese ladies who know that my allergies were the reason I washed those rugs so frequently. (My kitty loved to roll and scratch on them.) I miss seeing the young Middle Eastern guy at the local deli where I used to get a fried egg sandwich or sliced turkey on a bagel at least once a week, who started out tentative and kind of inept, but trying -- and after a few months blossomed into someone who always remembered just how I liked my eggs, what kind of turkey I wanted, and how little cream cheese I preferred. I assume these wonderful people are still working, but I haven't gone inside either place since before I left town at the beginning of March. I no longer eat anything I haven't prepared myself.

Teafortwo · May 6, 2020

4 hours ago, Kyanight said:

It's possible, if you had a very severe case and recovered, that you could have a good immunity. It's possible, if you had a light case, that you have no immunity. It's possible that the virus will mutate and some might have some immunity and others none.

Oh, you mentioned Star Trek in your post! I have been planning to re-watch "The Immunity Syndrome" from TOS for a couple weeks. "We'll be the virus infecting *it's* system!" Is a quote I remember from that episode.

A good friend had a mild case in March that lasted for several weeks. He's about 56. The fever would recede but then come back. He reported doing "a little working out" during bouts of shortness of breath. He is back at work (his job involves mostly working outdoors) but is taking no unnecessary chances. He's going to be donating plasma soon (may have done so already). Another friend (61) had symptoms in late December (lost sense of smell, headache, fever). He tested positive for antibodies. He is also taking no chances.

Teafortwo · May 6, 2020

17 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I'm like Deanna Troi from Star Trek: Next Generation, you know, the empath.

You mentioned ST too! ❤️

Teafortwo · May 6, 2020

17 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I feel right now like I'm this annoying needy person putting the focus on myself all the time. I'm just bothering everyone making all these long posts and telling all these long stories. I should just shut up and stop.

Yeah...Nooo! Please don't stop. ❤️

Yeah No · May 6, 2020

4 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

I agree, I often feel a let-down when a zoom call ends. I've also realized how much face-to-face interactions, even and maybe particularly with certain shopkeepers, meant to me. I used to go to the local laundromat quite often because my cotton rag rugs were too big for the machines in my building. I miss the two lovely Chinese ladies who know that my allergies were the reason I washed those rugs so frequently. (My kitty loved to roll and scratch on them.) I miss seeing the young Middle Eastern guy at the local deli where I used to get a fried egg sandwich or sliced turkey on a bagel at least once a week, who started out tentative and kind of inept, but trying -- and after a few months blossomed into someone who always remembered just how I liked my eggs, what kind of turkey I wanted, and how little cream cheese I preferred. I assume these wonderful people are still working, but I haven't gone inside either place since before I left town at the beginning of March. I no longer eat anything I haven't prepared myself.

I miss my local people too. Like the supermarket checkers and local Walmart people. Or the owners and waitstaff at local restaurants that knew us by name. Or Mr. Park, my "custom tailor" and Lena, my hairstylist. I even miss and worry about the people at the local shops in my dad's Bronx neighborhood. Like the Mexican workers at his local diner that used to call him "la dolorosa" because he used to ask for the check using that phrase in Spanish. I also worry about Eileen, the quintessential diner waitress and Nick, the son of the owner who now runs it, who I've known since he was a kid - he's now in his 40s. And then there's Sean, the owner of my father's friendly neighborhood pub and the cast of regulars there. They all loved my father. I had to reach out to them on Facebook to let them know of his passing. Some time in some safe future I will hold a memorial in his honor and I know a lot of those people will come.

I don't eat anything that either I or my husband don't prepare either with only 2 exceptions so far. We got pizza twice and asked for it to be put in our trunk. No exchange of money, everything was done on the phone beforehand. When we got it home we put it on a table in the garage and used gloves to remove slices then put them in the toaster oven to reheat and kill germs. We are thinking of having a bucket of KFC delivered one of these days and doing the same thing because it's getting harder around here to find chicken parts. We haven't done it so far because we're trying to eat light but one day we might give in!

Yeah No · May 6, 2020

5 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

I have been planning to re-watch "The Immunity Syndrome" from TOS for a couple weeks. "We'll be the virus infecting *it's* system!" Is a quote I remember from that episode.

Haha, you made me go rewatch it! I know there are more episodes like that in the ST universe, although I can't think of any right now.

The other episode I have been thinking about for months now, even before the pandemic is The TNG episode "Remember Me" where Dr. Crusher gets caught in a static warp bubble that Wesley experimented with, and she experiences everyone on the ship gradually disappearing and no one thinks anything's wrong but her. It gets to the point that she is the only one left on the ship as the bubble threatens to shrink her out of existence (of course Wesley saves her). I have felt for a while now that this episode reminds me of how my own life and circle of friends and acquaintances has kept shrinking in the past few years and how I feel more isolated now. And that was BEFORE sheltering in place! I watched it again a couple of weeks ago and it still feels very relevant to my (and now the rest of the world's) current experience.

4 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Yeah...Nooo! Please don't stop. ❤️

Thanks, I needed that!!! ❤️

Edited May 6, 2020 by Yeah No

Kohola3 · May 6, 2020

I think of this as our virtual therapy session (without Nancy, thank heavens) so please, no one stop posting!

TurtlePower · May 6, 2020

You’d think I’d learn not to say “Well, things could be worse” (thanks Murphy):

They got worse. I wound up in the hospital with a kidney infection. I didn’t want to go because they want us all to “stay home”, but getting blood poisoning also didn’t sound like a good option. On the mend now but I felt guilty for going to the ER because they don’t want us going anywhere (and also I’m jobless and now am going to have a big co-pay).

Marshmallow Mollie · May 6, 2020

1 hour ago, TurtlePower said:

You’d think I’d learn not to say “Well, things could be worse” (thanks Murphy):

They got worse. I wound up in the hospital with a kidney infection. I didn’t want to go because they want us all to “stay home”, but getting blood poisoning also didn’t sound like a good option. On the mend now but I felt guilty for going to the ER because they don’t want us going anywhere (and also I’m jobless and now am going to have a big co-pay).

Oof, kidney infection sounds miserable! How are you feeling now?

I have a growth on my tonsil 😬 I had a hell of a time even getting an appt to have it seen. It’s not like I wanted to go, but growth on tonsil needs to be checked out (like growths on skin, JANELLE). The last thing I wanted to do was have anyone near my mouth. This was about three weeks ago. Turns out the growth is fine. Hypertrophy. The dr likened it to a mole on skin. As a cancer survivor, I get my ass to the dr when something is off. The dr said I win the award for the weirdest thing he had seen that day.

xwordfanatik · May 6, 2020

I just had a thought...sales of lipstick, lip gloss, etc. are going to go down. Normally I would wear it, but with a mask, no one's going to see it, so I'm not using it.

I've had mental health counseling, when I was going through a rough spot, in the 90's. I haven't had group therapy, but this is what I imagine it would be sort of like, reading everyone's posts and us being unafraid to share our worries, and support one another.

I'm with Kohola, I hope everyone continues to post here, whatever comes to mind.

DakotaJustice · May 7, 2020

3 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

I just had a thought...sales of lipstick, lip gloss, etc. are going to go down. Normally I would wear it, but with a mask, no one's going to see it, so I'm not using it.

I've had mental health counseling, when I was going through a rough spot, in the 90's. I haven't had group therapy, but this is what I imagine it would be sort of like, reading everyone's posts and us being unafraid to share our worries, and support one another.

I'm with Kohola, I hope everyone continues to post here, whatever comes to mind.

I had a Covid Date last weekend and put lipstick on without realizing he wasn't going to see it through my mask. So now my favorite mask has a blotch on the inside in MAC Twig. I'm afraid to throw it in the washer because I might ruin it.

*Covid date = walking six feet apart on the bay trail while chatting very loudly through our masks. 🤔

Meowwww · May 7, 2020

5 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

I just had a thought...sales of lipstick, lip gloss, etc. are going to go down. Normally I would wear it, but with a mask, no one's going to see it, so I'm not using it.

I've had mental health counseling, when I was going through a rough spot, in the 90's. I haven't had group therapy, but this is what I imagine it would be sort of like, reading everyone's posts and us being unafraid to share our worries, and support one another.

I'm with Kohola, I hope everyone continues to post here, whatever comes to mind.

Me too. Keep posting everyone. I may not respond, but I love each and every one of you.
I am a big fan of the red lip. Even in my casual work gear, I wear lipstick. But not with my mask. So I am saving money on lipstick lol. Charlotte Tilbury Red Carpet Red is the bomb, by the way.

Teafortwo · May 7, 2020

19 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I know there are more episodes like that in the ST universe, although I can't think of any right now.

For sure, Operation: Annihilate, and Naked Time from TOS. My memory of Next Gen is not great except for The Inner Light, Darmok and the Borg stuff - and and I never really got into DS 9 although I know it has much to recommend it (and loved Quark and Odo). Despite an early love of Kate Mulgrew, dating to Ryan's Hope days, I watched almost none of Voyager. Have been meaning to watch Picard.

10 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

I think of this as our virtual therapy session (without Nancy, thank heavens) so please, no one stop posting!

This was a real LOL. Hahaha thanks for the laugh, I think this is the first time I smiled today!

Yeah No · May 7, 2020

10 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

They got worse. I wound up in the hospital with a kidney infection.

9 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

I have a growth on my tonsil 😬 I had a hell of a time even getting an appt to have it seen. It’s not like I wanted to go, but growth on tonsil needs to be checked out (like growths on skin, JANELLE). The last thing I wanted to do was have anyone near my mouth. This was about three weeks ago. Turns out the growth is fine. Hypertrophy. The dr likened it to a mole on skin. As a cancer survivor, I get my ass to the dr when something is off. The dr said I win the award for the weirdest thing he had seen that day.

Ouch, you guys, what a time to deal with stuff like this! I live in fear of something like that happening when I least want to have to see any medical people. Here's hoping you both get well soon and don't have to go to any hospital or in-person medical facility again for a while!

3 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

I had a Covid Date last weekend and put lipstick on without realizing he wasn't going to see it through my mask. So now my favorite mask has a blotch on the inside in MAC Twig. I'm afraid to throw it in the washer because I might ruin it.

*Covid date = walking six feet apart on the bay trail while chatting very loudly through our masks. 🤔

Nice to know I'm among fellow lipstick wearers. 👄 I haven't been wearing it lately either especially when wearing a mask. I had a walking "date" with a female friend yesterday. Unfortunately I let her convince me to go on the trail as opposed to the street because it looked deserted. I told her that people came out of nowhere on the trail and you can't go by how deserted it looks at any given moment, but I went anyway against my better judgment. Of course, in very little time there were people passing us with no masks on and it was hard to give them the wide berth I can usually achieve when on a sidewalk. You can't just cross the street on a trail surrounded by woods or fences. Plus at times my girlfriend wasn't keeping enough distance from me in my opinion but I didn't want to act like a crazy person so I just tried to move away from her as much as possible. I was wearing my P95 mask and it was feeling a little claustrophobic in there because it's harder to breathe through one of those things than through a fabric mask.

Needless to say this walk stressed me out. Beforehand I had to go to the Post Office to put a couple of eBay sales I made in the slot just inside the doors because they wouldn't fit in the outside box slots. Of course, coming out I had to wait for 2 people to pass me and even though I tried to get as far away from them as I could, I didn't feel great about it.

So of course today I didn't feel my best - I'm sure part of that is not getting enough good sleep for a few days and that catching up with me, and part is worrying about yesterday and whether I put myself at too much risk. I have usually been so hyper careful and now because of yesterday I'm back to worrying again. My girlfriend thinks I'm crazy but I think I can't be too careful these days.

Meanwhile articles are being written about states that are talking about opening up while their death rates haven't gone down and the medical people that are claiming that it is too soon and predicting many more deaths. Plus the polls are showing that people at a rate of 2:1 think things are opening up too soon. I've been trying to remain optimistic, but this stuff is making it very hard. I have also been trying to avoid the TV news and instead read online articles. So far the only news that hasn't made me want to shut it off after 5 minutes is BBC America.

Yeah No · May 7, 2020

I wanted to give an update on my nephew Brian. it turns out he does have Covid. Because he was getting better so slowly his mother convinced him to have another test taken and this one came up positive. So this is proof that the testing often isn't accurate especially when you get tested early on in your bout with it. And that's bad because it makes people think they don't have it and can go back to work. As it is, after his first negative test the hospital told him he could come back to work - fortunately he had more sense than to do that. But this is how the virus spreads. I just can't understand how institutions don't realize that the testing isn't perfect and it's better to be safe than sorry. I know they need people to work in the hospitals but if someone has symptoms of anything even if it doesn't turn out to be Covid, wouldn't they think it's better for them to stay home? The sheer stupidity these days is unbelievable - and truly scary.

Fortunately he's doing better and we think he's out of the woods for having a downturn. That's a relief, but his parents, who are in their 60s, aren't taking any chances and are not going to go anywhere near him for a long time, or at least until he tests negative. He'll have to test negative before he will be allowed to go back to work. Fortunately he lives alone and doesn't have a girlfriend currently so he didn't bring the virus home to anyone and his parents haven't seen him for at least a couple of months now.

Thanks again to everyone for your prayers for him!

Edited May 7, 2020 by Yeah No

Meowwww · May 7, 2020

Update from my little corner, again.
We now wear masks at work. I am constantly dizzy and sweating, hauling lots of 30 lb bags of dogfood and 50 lb bags of birdseed are not compatible with wearing a mask. It’s so hard to breathe. We are still crazy busy. Which makes me happy for our owners but it’s hard to keep up with the people in and all the calls for curbside pick up.
I almost passed out today. I was juggling three customers plus calls. With mask on. Can’t breathe. Got in trouble for not answering the phone, we were all busy with people in the store.
People banging on our windows and doors after we close, trying to get in to buy things, even though our signs are posted and we’ve been at these hours for weeks. I’ve been yelled at so much. So many ugly people.
I went to the gas station in my little town today before work. I wore my mask in. No one, including the workers, were wearing masks and I got a few looks. In my work town, 30 miles from home, most are wearing masks. But no one is staying home. I read all your posts with wonderment, because you all actually care.
What a weird world this is. Sorry to come across as feeling sorry for myself, but maybe I am just a bit. I work in Minnesota, cases increased by 155% this week.

Yeah No · May 7, 2020

8 hours ago, Meowwww said:

What a weird world this is. Sorry to come across as feeling sorry for myself, but maybe I am just a bit. I work in Minnesota, cases increased by 155% this week.

Don't be sorry, you have your valid reasons for feeling sorry for yourself. Right now we all have our own personal nightmares to face and most of us are feeling sorry for ourselves too.

Right now I'm feeling sorry for myself because no matter what channel I put on the new message being put forth is "Well, we tried to protect the vulnerable with lockdowns and social distancing, but it's clearly not working as well as we had hoped, plus everyone else wants to get back to their regular lives and needs money, so too bad for all those vulnerable people, if they die or suffer bad lasting after effects from getting the virus, well we tried, but life has to go on. They can always choose to stay home if they don't like it".

So I feel like now the gov't and most people are adopting this, "Oh well, sucks to be you" attitude, and NO ONE seems to give two flying craps about how we're going to support ourselves if we choose to continue to isolate ourselves after everything opens up. I've been saying for years that when the shit came down, whenever that was, that us older people would be put out on the ice floe to die, but I didn't realize it was going to happen so soon in my life. I'm only 61 - I didn't anticipate this happening for at least another 10-15 years. These people don't realize how "young" 61 is. I don't feel "old" enough to be told my life should be confined to my house for the next year or however long it might take until it's safe while everyone else gets to go on earning money and enjoying themselves, relatively secure in the assumption that they won't have to pay the ultimate price for that privilege.

Plus, these people don't give a crap that some people will have to pay an even greater price for going back to their regular lives because clearly this will only make the situation even worse for the more vulnerable of us out there in that more of us will die when we inevitably come in contact with those "liberated" people, more of us will feel forced to stay home under even more stringent quarantine for a longer time because the opening up of everything will only prolong the length of the crisis.

So thanks a whole freakin' lot gov't, press, the very RICH and younger people, thanks so freaking bloody much! I can only hope that some day they'll have to endure a similar situation imposed upon them from those younger, healthier and RICHER than they are. I know that's vindictive, but I'm just beyond being nice about this!

I know I'm a little psychic, but before the pandemic I would often worry about whether I lived far enough away from NYC to be safe from whatever apocalypse was going to happen there, because I was sure that it would involve NYC, whatever it was - And whether I would be done with dealing with the place because of my father when it happened. Some people think I'm a pessimist but if so, why is it then that all of my worst fears come true?

Edited May 7, 2020 by Yeah No

Kyanight · May 7, 2020

6 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

8 hours ago, Meowwww said:

What a weird world this is. Sorry to come across as feeling sorry for myself, but maybe I am just a bit. I work in Minnesota, cases increased by 155% this week.

Don't be sorry, you have your valid reasons for feeling sorry for yourself. Right now we all have our own personal nightmares to face and most of us are feeling sorry for ourselves too.

Well. We are in this together and have each other, thank heavens!!

Yesterday one of our kitties had to have a mammary tumor removed. We had been told by a different vet last JUNE that it was a lipoma - just an over growth of fat cells and nothing to worry about. She's a fat cat - we've had her on a diet for the last year and she's lost 4 pounds which is pretty amazing considering she hates to exercise. (I.E. chase anything. She will reach her paw out to grab a toy and that's it.) She was a rescue and they didn't spay her until she was 4, and these mammary tumors can be common with a late spay. The tumor was the size of a big egg. So THIS time I actually spent my stimulus plus extra. (It was $1427.61.) I told the vet that the 61 cents cracks me up. Maybe it's tax? Anyway... a lot of money to be spending right now, but since it was for a breathing living creature I cherish, it was a MUCH better investment for my money than the black lacy underwear in my dream.

But the point is - I was very stressed about both my kitty and spending so much right now, so that is my excuse as to what I did next.

My son and I decided to go to Infinitus Pi - which is this AMAZING pizza place and get some pies to take out. (They are all individual pizzas and they have a banana foster one for dessert!!) We called ahead and walked in to pick up our order. ALL of the employees are wearing masks, and the other customers are all waiting outside in their vehicles. They ask if were are there to pick up or order and we say pick up and give them our name. The guy at the register says: "We had a mix-up because of similar names, and some guy took your order home by mistake. He's bringing it back so it will be here for you soon".

::::::Crickets:::::: WHAT?????????

And I manage to croak out, "With Covid out there, you want us to take food from some stranger who took it out of your restaurant and then drove home and back with it?"

The guy looked at me like I was some kind of idiot and asked "Is there a problem?"

So I said "YES there is a problem! With COVID out there you want us to take food from some strange man who took it out of your restaurant and then drove home and back to your place with it!"

The manager was walking over at this point and he must have seen my wild eyes over my face mask because he said, "No, we will make you fresh pies!" and at this point he walked back and started making our pizzas. Now if they KNEW that someone else had taken our pizzas and they DIDN'T expect us to take this order and leave - wouldn't they have started working on our pizzas the minute they knew this had happened?? SOOO... I am thinking that if I hadn't been about to hyperventilate they would have handed us the boxes and that would have been that.

So I kind of lost it - in a quiet and not TOO embarrassing way. The tears started flowing and I had to walk back towards the bathrooms (which you can't use because of Covid but it is still a hallway where they couldn't see me) and I just couldn't STOP the tears from flowing. I think it is just this constant stress stress stress stress worry stress. You have people that take this seriously and you have people who just think it's no big deal and it's push and pull and craziness!! My son, who had worked in fast food when he was a teenager, told me that even BEFORE Covid they couldn't have made us take the food because once it leaves the restaurant ANYTHING can happen to it - so they can't give it to another customer. The manager walked up at some point and gave my son a couple of coupons (buy one get one free) for a future visit - so I know he felt bad. I felt stupid for losing it. But I couldn't stop the tears.

So the kicker - this man comes back to the restaurant with our order - and he's the ONLY person I saw to enter the place who didn't wear a mask. OF COURSE! He handed the workers our pizzas and got his and walked out. And I watched the workers like hawks to make sure they didn't hand us the same boxes or containers of ranch dressing and say "Here's your order!" But they saw me watching and they didn't, so it was all good.

********************

So if you are feeling like you might be feeling sorry for yourself - I think it is simply human nature. Do you know ANYONE who lived through a pandemic in the past? These are uncertain times. And at least you didn't fall apart in a public place.

Nysha · May 7, 2020

Even without COVID they should not give you food that someone else took out of the restaurant! They don't know if he touched it with his hands, spit on it, or laced it with cyanide. Your reaction was a lot tamer than what mine would have been.

I'm sorry for your kitty, but you're a wonderful person for treating her like the beloved member of your family she is. Please take care.

Yeah No · May 7, 2020

31 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Well. We are in this together and have each other, thank heavens!!

Yesterday one of our kitties had to have a mammary tumor removed. We had been told by a different vet last JUNE that it was a lipoma - just an over growth of fat cells and nothing to worry about. She's a fat cat - we've had her on a diet for the last year and she's lost 4 pounds which is pretty amazing considering she hates to exercise. (I.E. chase anything. She will reach her paw out to grab a toy and that's it.) She was a rescue and they didn't spay her until she was 4, and these mammary tumors can be common with a late spay. The tumor was the size of a big egg. So THIS time I actually spent my stimulus plus extra. (It was $1427.61.) I told the vet that the 61 cents cracks me up. Maybe it's tax? Anyway... a lot of money to be spending right now, but since it was for a breathing living creature I cherish, it was a MUCH better investment for my money than the black lacy underwear in my dream.

But the point is - I was very stressed about both my kitty and spending so much right now, so that is my excuse as to what I did next.

My son and I decided to go to Infinitus Pi - which is this AMAZING pizza place and get some pies to take out. (They are all individual pizzas and they have a banana foster one for dessert!!) We called ahead and walked in to pick up our order. ALL of the employees are wearing masks, and the other customers are all waiting outside in their vehicles. They ask if were are there to pick up or order and we say pick up and give them our name. The guy at the register says: "We had a mix-up because of similar names, and some guy took your order home by mistake. He's bringing it back so it will be here for you soon".

::::::Crickets:::::: WHAT?????????

And I manage to croak out, "With Covid out there, you want us to take food from some stranger who took it out of your restaurant and then drove home and back with it?"

The guy looked at me like I was some kind of idiot and asked "Is there a problem?"

So I said "YES there is a problem! With COVID out there you want us to take food from some strange man who took it out of your restaurant and then drove home and back to your place with it!"

The manager was walking over at this point and he must have seen my wild eyes over my face mask because he said, "No, we will make you fresh pies!" and at this point he walked back and started making our pizzas. Now if they KNEW that someone else had taken our pizzas and they DIDN'T expect us to take this order and leave - wouldn't they have started working on our pizzas the minute they knew this had happened?? SOOO... I am thinking that if I hadn't been about to hyperventilate they would have handed us the boxes and that would have been that.

So I kind of lost it - in a quiet and not TOO embarrassing way. The tears started flowing and I had to walk back towards the bathrooms (which you can't use because of Covid but it is still a hallway where they couldn't see me) and I just couldn't STOP the tears from flowing. I think it is just this constant stress stress stress stress worry stress. You have people that take this seriously and you have people who just think it's no big deal and it's push and pull and craziness!! My son, who had worked in fast food when he was a teenager, told me that even BEFORE Covid they couldn't have made us take the food because once it leaves the restaurant ANYTHING can happen to it - so they can't give it to another customer. The manager walked up at some point and gave my son a couple of coupons (buy one get one free) for a future visit - so I know he felt bad. I felt stupid for losing it. But I couldn't stop the tears.

So the kicker - this man comes back to the restaurant with our order - and he's the ONLY person I saw to enter the place who didn't wear a mask. OF COURSE! He handed the workers our pizzas and got his and walked out. And I watched the workers like hawks to make sure they didn't hand us the same boxes or containers of ranch dressing and say "Here's your order!" But they saw me watching and they didn't, so it was all good.

OMG, Kya, I am in tears reading about this. I would have been crying and lost it too. ((Hugs)) to you, my dear. The stress gets to me too and it takes just one more thing like this to make me start sobbing. Even under the best of circumstances no restaurant should expect you to take the order someone else already had in their possession. I think there are food service rules against that from way before the pandemic. The manager knows that but of course today some workers in these places don't, and that's scary enough all by itself, especially since some of them think they're such "know it alls" - sorry, but that's the way so many people seem to act these days. I knew common sense was becoming scarcer but this story is over the top!

Before Mr. Yeah No and I ordered our pizza, we called and asked the place what precautions they were taking. They ensured us that everyone was wearing masks and gloves and only a few people were actually there at any one time. Plus if you call them when you get there you can park in a numbered space and tell them your number so someone comes out with mask and gloves and puts the pizza in your trunk. Of course you have to have a remote trunk lift to make this completely contact-free, which we do. I wouldn't even set foot in a place like that right now. It amazes me because if they're supposedly such a great pizza place they should have a better handle on being as sanitary as possible, but it looks like we can't even assume such things anymore.

Sorry to hear about your kitty, but happy to hear she's OK. Of course as soon as you have money in your pocket it has to fly out! We haven't even gotten our stimulus checks yet let alone unemployment or small business loans, but I already had to pay past car property tax that my lease company has been paying and adding to my balance. My state is a completely overtaxed state and our cars are taxed as property to the tune of several hundred dollars A YEAR. Even New York doesn't tax cars as property. My lease is up at the end of June and I don't think I can afford a car right now let alone a new lease or to buy this one. It's another big dilemma I will have to face to add to the ever growing pile of monetary dilemmas.

Edited May 7, 2020 by Yeah No

Kyanight · May 7, 2020

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Plus, these people don't give a crap that some people will have to pay an even greater price for going back to their regular lives because clearly this will only make the situation even worse for the more vulnerable of us out there in that more of us will die when we inevitably come in contact with those "liberated" people, more of us will feel forced to stay home under even more stringent quarantine for a longer time because the opening up of everything will only prolong the length of the crisis.

So thanks a whole freakin' lot gov't, press, the very RICH and younger people, thanks so freaking bloody much! I can only hope that some day they'll have to endure a similar situation imposed upon them from those younger, healthier and RICHER than they are. I know that's vindictive, but I'm just beyond being nice about this!

I think it was yesterday (or the day before) In Minnesota there was a big rally called something like "Operation Gridlock". The state capitol is surrounded by three major hospitals, and the protesters (with microphones? It sounded like a microphone on the news clip) were attempting to block all of the roads to the hospitals. Nurses came out of the hospitals and made a human barrier to keep lanes open so that ambulances could get through.

WHAT kind of human being would block ambulances from getting to a hospital? What if THEIR dad is having a heart attack? A woman in labor is having serious complications and might lose her baby without an emergency c-section? Some child has been in a serious auto accident? There are a thousand different reasons why people are transported in an ambulance. And so what if it IS Covid? What the HELL, people???? Who made these protesters GOD that they are going to decide who gets to have medical attention and who does not?? And those nurses had JOBS to do in the hospital - you know, like helping keep people alive? They had better things to do than STAND OUTSIDE so that ambulances could reach the hospital. I am so ashamed of those so called people. And so angry at how they are behaving. And I want to pull their hair - hard - and yell at them! (I think pulling their hair is about as physical as I could get, lol. I'm not into hurting other people.) But I hate what is happening to people emotionally and in regards to how they behave.

https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=operation gridlock blocks ambulances&epa=SEARCH_BOX

Edited May 7, 2020 by Kyanight

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