The Quotes Thread: Quip, Quip, Slow

[DollEyes]

  Bumping it up with Tom's touching tribute to his late dad: "My dad loved this show. He never missed an episode and I like to think that somewhere, he didn't miss this one."

 

RIP. Mr. Bergeron.

[Electruck]

Switch-up week, Emma: "I haven't done a rumba yet on the show. My partners have either been too ripe or not ripe enough. Alek is just right."

[St. Claire]

Tom: For those of you drinking at home, that was another "amazing."

[MortysCleaningLady]

Did anyone notice as the credits were rolling, Lea Remini, who knows how to banter like a cohosting pro, said into the mike, "We should try that life again!"  Erin Andrews would never have (a.) tried the lift on tv or (b.) thought to say that.  Keep her on football and give us Lea full time!

[Marla4DWTS]

Hi, All. New here. Used to be on the ABC forum, but that seems to have disappeared.

There are some funny remarks from all the judges after Derek and Joanna's Lambada, but my favorite is Tom's response to Carrie Ann's remark.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C4LaH_E6FB4

[DollEyes]

Bumping it up with two quotes from the S22 premiere, both about contestant Nyle DiMarco:

 

Tom, about Bruno, after Bruno touched Nyle to see if he's real: "That's the most inventive excuse Bruno's had for doing that in 22 seasons."

 

Bruno, to Nyle: "After that performance, you could be 'America's Next Top Dancer'," which is the subtitle of Nyle's thread, so I'll take that as a shout-out.

Edited March 24, 2016 by DollEyes

[Uke]

Witney about Von:  "I can't lug him around the floor like I could with my other partners" (a little shade on her past partners??)

[DollEyes]

Tom, posing as a taco vendor, before Von & Witney's dance: "This is what happens when I miss a morning meeting."

 

Sharna, to her partner Antonio: "Have you seen Dirty Dancing?"

Antonio: "I think I'm seeing it now." 

[DollEyes]

Charlotte Rae, aka "Mrs. Garrett" from The Facts of Life, in former co-star Kim Fields' "Most Memorable Year" package: "I'm 4'7, but I'm still above ground." 

[OakGoblinFly]

I can't remember the exact words, but when Peta was talking about Nyle's costume, she said (paraphrasing) we're going to put you in a lion cloth to keep the ladies happy.  And Bruno.

 

The deadpan "and Bruno" had me giggling.

[DollEyes]

Bruno, to Nyle, about his Tarzan-based Samba costume: "You should win an award for "Best Supporting Loincloth.'" 

[ari333]

Bruno, to Nyle, about his Tarzan-based Samba costume: "You should win an award for "Best Supporting Loincloth.'" 

*snort* Oh, Bruno.... :-)

[DollEyes]

Tom, about Bruno's part in the Judges' latest scoring fuck-up at Nyle's expense: "I hope you don't do your own taxes, Bruno."

[McManda]

Erin, during rehearsal:

"The first elimination is coming up at the end of tonight's show and if you've been following our show usually that means Keo's going home, so..."

Pretty sure that's the line of the night.

[DollEyes]

Tom, re the burning piano in Nyle & Peta's Freestyle: "The only downside is that we'll never get the deposit back on the piano."

Tom, re Sasha's dancing crab in the "Summer Fling" number: "With the exception of Len, no one does crab like Sasha." 

Carrie Ann, using sign language, to Nyle after his & Peta's final dance: "Thank you for showing us your beautiful heart when you dance." 

Edited May 26, 2016 by DollEyes

[Uke]

Laurie to Tom after her first dance:

"At the Olympics I trained 11 years for it, and so here's kind of like the congratulations jog afterwards."

[DollEyes]

Len, about Terra, "You delivered twice in a month."

[SnarkyTart]

4 hours ago, DollEyes said:

Len, about Terra, "You delivered twice in a month."

That was so funny!  Len is quick-witted, in addition to having the most constructive and informed critiques on the show.  The show acknowledging last night that there's not enough time for each of the four judges to offer critiques is further evidence (as though anymore was needed) that 4 judges are too many.  To paraphrase Len, "I want to see less messing about and more judging!"

[simplyme]

On 9/13/2016 at 4:11 PM, SnarkyTart said:

That was so funny!  Len is quick-witted, in addition to having the most constructive and informed critiques on the show.  The show acknowledging last night that there's not enough time for each of the four judges to offer critiques is further evidence (as though anymore was needed) that 4 judges are too many.  To paraphrase Len, "I want to see less messing about and more judging!"

Or they could cut out some of the crap at the beginning and actually make the judges be concise with their comments. There's time for four judges to comment if no one is crying, raving, or talking about God knows what. Granted, they might have to mute microphones if they went over time, but they'd learn. (I assume they wouldn't be allowed to shock them with electricity if they went over, although some of Bruno's monologues make me want to see that.)

[vavera4ka]

Lingerie - it's French for "trouble"

I just had to pretend I'm smelling a really good quesadilla

[tearbender]

Val, teaching Laurie about the tango.

Val: It's about the relationship between two people. It takes two to...?

Laurie: Make a thing go right *grin*

Val: No!

[majormama]

Tom: I love Amber's outfit, it's like the Real Housewives of Hazard.

[paigow]

17 hours ago, tearbender said:

Val, teaching Laurie about the tango.

Val: It's about the relationship between two people. It takes two to...?

Laurie: Make a thing go right *grin*

Val: No!

Was she even born when that song came out?

[legaleagle53]

4 hours ago, paigow said:

Was she even born when that song came out?

It doesn't matter.  The saying is even older than the song, so she has to have heard it at least once in her life.

[St. Claire]

7 hours ago, paigow said:

Was she even born when that song came out?

Nope. I remember  It Takes Two (as in "to make things go right," not "to tango) being a thing when I was dating my college boyfriend (so, somewhere in the 1989-1991 timeframe). Laurie was born in 2000.

[legaleagle53]

On 9/28/2016 at 0:47 PM, St. Claire said:

Nope. I remember  It Takes Two (as in "to make things go right," not "to tango) being a thing when I was dating my college boyfriend (so, somewhere in the 1989-1991 timeframe). Laurie was born in 2000.

So what?  As I said, Val was going for the old saying "It takes two to tango," not a song that has nothing to do with the Tango.  Laurie has to have heard that saying at least once in her life, so her response makes no sense in the context of the conversation.  That's why Val said her answer was wrong.

[majormama]

I think they're expressing surprise that she even knows the song, since it came out before she was born. It's surprising that her first response to the prompt "It takes two" would be a song older than she is, on top of the surprise that she wouldn't know the saying two to tango.

[McManda]

I'm not really surprised Laurie knew "it takes two to make a thing go right", considering it's been in pop culture for as long as the song has been out. Off the top of my head it recently been used in a yoplait commercial, a Ameritrade commercial, a Verizon commerical, and in the movies Iron Man 2 and The Proposal. 

... I'm not sure the last time I've heard "it takes two to tango", though I'm familiar with the saying. But with the snazzy beat behind "to make a thing go right", I'd probably think of that one first, too.

[Mittengirl]

There is also the possibility that Laurie exactly what Val wanted her to say and was just messing with him.

[kitcloudkicker]

17 minutes ago, Mittengirl said:

There is also the possibility that Laurie exactly what Val wanted her to say and was just messing with him.

Yeah, it seemed a very much joking/nonissue exchange to me. 

[DollEyes]

Carrie Ann, to Calvin: "You're like a graduate of the Motown Charm School."

Terra, about Sasha: "I feel very connected to Sasha. Not like Emma is, but...." 

[Uke]

Julianne said: James was "the best male dancer we've ever had on the show".

Helio said:

[McManda]

Ouch, that's some shade thrown. Helio was good, but he won on personality. Are they still friendly?

[Uke]

8 hours ago, McManda said:

Ouch, that's some shade thrown. Helio was good, but he won on personality. Are they still friendly?

No idea. Is she friendly with any of her past partners? I don't follow her so I don't know who shows up at her events or tweets support for her projects.  Helio did add an oops and a laugh so I'd assume he was teasing.

Edited October 19, 2016 by Uke

[smiley13]

Love the comment from Helio, lol.  Too Funny!

[DollEyes]

Tom, about this week's episode: "It's like a spray-tanned history lesson."

[Uke]

Marilu:  "I felt like I got pushed a little" (re behind the scenes after falling at the end of week 7's team dance).   

It's not so much that she said this, it's more that they chose to air this.

[vavera4ka]

today you could pretty much transcribe Tom and throw a dart at the paper. He was having way too much fun with punny Halloween lol

[St. Claire]

Tom was cracking me up with his continued references to Carrie Anne calling out the lifts. I wish I could remember exactly what  he said when Calvin scooped up and was hugging little Caleb; something along the lines of "Carrie Anne was very touched my Calvin's visit from his son, but says she needs to take a point off for the lift."

[McManda]

Simone: What happens when a celebrity gets hurt? Because they can replace you, but me?

Sasha: ... we'll get Gabby.

[sab85]

2 hours ago, McManda said:

Simone: What happens when a celebrity gets hurt? Because they can replace you, but me?

Sasha: ... we'll get Gabby.

I loved that Sasha didn't miss a beat.

[DollEyes]

Bumping it up with (naturally) a Tom quote:

"Maks got married & had a baby & it's like someone stole his personality." 

[sab85]

(Terrell is feeling sorry for himself/complaining.)

Cheryl: "Boo hoo, let's go."

That's why she gets the hard ones folks. 

[sab85]

Debbie Gibson: "I always go for strumpet."

 

(Vanessa is mock interviewing in practice) 

Maks:"You know Tom isn't going anywhere, right?"  

 

Tom: "Artem hasn't had a carbohydrate in 10 years!"

 

Erin: "I think Tom is just trying to wrangle Len and Bruno."

Truer words Erin, truer words

Edited September 27, 2017 by sab85

[PBGamer89]

8 minutes ago, sab85 said:

 

(Vanessa is mock interviewing in practice) 

Maks:"You know Tom isn't going anywhere, right?"

 

 

Funny enough she was one of the ones considered for new co-host in season 10 before they went with Brooke.

[DollEyes]

Tom, about Len: "I think we've learned two things from Len: a hand without a thumb is like a kiss without a moustache and that somebody changed his meds." 

[SnarkyTart]

Barabara Corcoran to Bruno:  Where are you from?

Bruno: I don't know, some people say I'm from Mars.

[madpsych78]

19 minutes ago, SnarkyTart said:

Barabara Corcoran to Bruno:  Where are you from?

Bruno: I don't know, some people say I'm from Mars.

I just realized that one could be taken more than one way. Because Bruno is a man, and men are from Mars, but also came to mind:  Bruno Mars.

[madpsych78]

Quote of the entire damn series tonight:

Tom: "To all of the teens watching, if you come across another kid who looks special...don't be an asshole."

[TudorQueen]

Quote

Tom: "To all of the teens watching, if you come across another kid who looks special...don't be an asshole."

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons I will always love Tom Bergeron.