Embarrassing Moments And Confessions: We're Only Human

[potatoradio]

So, because I freely indulge in complaining about other people, I thought it might be good karma to start a topic where we can admit our own embarrassing moments in life where we find ourselves becoming someone else's pet peeve or being the goat in the group or what have you.

 

I know I'll think of more, but to start, today's humility moments:

 

1. Those "rattlesnake egg" magnet toys? Someone got me those as a gift a few years ago and someone at work asked about them today. Asked if they were real. I said, "yeah...some kind of crazy petrification process or something." Said person gave me a weird look, then nodded. I googled. I was so wrong. I should know better than to talk out of my arse. 

 

2. I was a lazy cyclist today and, instead of biking an extra two blocks for a stop light/crosswalk, I just kept biking up the street the wrong way. Twice, on two different streets. I earned the middle fingers. I know. I'm sorry.

 

 

 

 

[Maharincess]

My husband and I have very similar, twisted senses of humor.

We make jokes about everything.

When my son was about 11 he decided he wanted to go to church. I'm an atheist but wanted my kids to decide for themselves so we took him to church and got him involved in a youth group.

A young, very sweet, VERY RELIGIOUS couple ran the youth group and would pick the kids up in the van every Wednesday to take them to the youth group.

I was cooking one Wednesday and my husband came into the kitchen. Like I said, weird sense of humor....

I turned around and told him if he took one step further I'd stick my knife in his heart. He ran with the joke and we were in the kitchen calling each other horrible names and listing all of the ways we'd kill each other, complete with lots of F bombs and B words.

As we were doing this we hear a tentative knock on the door.

The sweet, pure young couple were standing at the open front screen door with horrified looks on their faces.

We were so embarrassed.

[DeLurker]

I need my coffee first thing every morning.  Last Thursday I was going through the process of making it when I realized I needed to refill my sugar jar (which I need for my coffee).  While the water is heating up, I get the sugar and start refilling.  Sadly, I was pouring the sugar into the top chamber of my AeroPress where I had already put in my Kona.  Had to dump everything out and start again since I had poured in about 1/2 cup of sugar.

 

[Sun-Bun]

This is a pretty embarrassing professional incident that still haunts me to this day...and it certainly taught me the value of discretion with social media, especially in certain professions that require an extra layer of discretion period.

In 2005, I was still an art teacher((since then I've been teaching in another subject and have been far more successful/content in this area)) and got hired to work at a rather exclusive private middle school.

Okay, so it was a super snooty private academy with equally snooty/celeb parents who dropped off their kids in everything from Mercedes and limos to Hummers; some of these students openly mocked us "poor" teachers and seemed to smugly mock the fact that most of them had nicer phones than we teachers did.

Their parents were another story entirely---they could barely hold their contempt of us all, would practically threaten to sue us over any grades less than A's for their bratlings, and were constantly telling us how we should do our jobs. Because apparently a rich old plastic surgeon's gold-digging unemployed wife knows more about teaching history and geometry than the rest of us, right?

Anyways, after coming home from a particularly annoying day of my personal dealings with yet another batch of rich helicopter parents and their constant pointless emails/phone calls/letters, I had a glass of wine and amused myself via blowing off steam in a highly amusing blog post I sent around to my other fellow frustrated teacher friends on my MySpace feed.

It was funny, we commented and shared other points about how much such helicopter parents suck, the end. Good silly fun.

I didn't even name any names or even my school.

Cut to over four months later.

I've long since forgotten about the stupid post, and in all my early social media naïveté, I didn't even remember if I'd made the post or my profile private.

Then one night I get this random email via my profile from one of my favorite students saying, "OMG, SOMEONE FOUND YOUR PROFILE AND THAT BLOG POST AND TOLD HER MOM ABOUT IT! YOU NEED TO TAKE IT DOWN!!!"

Cut to my dumb self just sitting there about to shit my pants in fear...oh goddamn, I totally forgot about that stupid damned blog post and didn't even think about any of my students possibly looking me up on there, especially since I didn't use my actual name or profession there.

So in a panic, I deleted my entire profile. Done. Buh-bye, MySpace!!

But it was too late. The next day, I could already hear giggles and could tell my students had sent the post around. They were already slyly asking, "Hey, you ever heard of MySpace?" and other leading questions. I simply shrugged/played dumb repeatedly saying, "I dunno what you're talking about!"

After several days went by, I thought I was off the hook and all was forgotten. I relaxed a bit and just prayed for the best.

But as soon as my principal called me into her office, along with my work computer, I knew I was fucked.

Turns out one of the students had shown the entire post/my profile to her mom and said mom had printed out and sent all my profile photos/blogs to my principal.

I was beyond mortified and could've died right there.

Imagine sitting there in front of your boss while she reads off every stupid comment, shows you every stupid photo and reads very drunken blog post you've ever written, right to your face. And as her two colleagues sit beside her, mind you.

I kept myself together and just said it was all a silly misunderstanding. That I was sorry and honestly never meant anyone any harm.

I've never felt so shamed and humiliated in all my life.

It didn't help when I was told to immediately pack up my classroom and leave alongside her colleagues.

So I did and felt like the dumbest, most pathetic excuse of a human for about a week. I was just being my own free-spirited 25-year-old self on MySpace, for chrissakes; yet look what one random blog post cost me. A lawyer friend even offered to represent me and fight the school on my account, but I simply accepted my punishment and was okay with merely a letter saying I'd been a competent art teacher for the 7 months I was at that stupid snooty academy.

I still look back on that entire incident and cringe...but it was truly a learning experience.

After that I simply got an odd job to pay bills and eventually found a much better art-teaching assignment at a far more liberal and well-matched school several months later, where I gladly taught for the next four years until I got licensed in my current area.

Nevertheless: most embarrassing experience of humiliation I've ever had to endure.

[Petunia13]

sun-bun that's a doozy

[blueray]

One time I had to work at 6:30 in the morning (I was a waitress and had to serve breakfast) and I was trying make coffee before going to work, and was already running late. Anyhow I thought I was making instant coffee, but I grabbed the wrong can. I instead but regular coffee grounds into my boiling water.  I then tried to drink it, it was awful and I spit it out. I was confused at first why it didn't work. Once I realized it, I didn't have time to make more.  Luckily for me I was the only one awake lol.

Edited September 14, 2015 by blueray

[Maharincess]

SunBun, that really makes me mad. On your own time you should be able to be your free spirited self. I just don't understand them firing you over something you said/did on your own time that didn't have anything to do with how you do your job.

[Sun-Bun]

Thanks, Maharincess---agreed on all accounts.

Unfortunately, I chose to work at a strict "faith-based" private school and I work in a "right to fire" state, which means any private organization in this state could fire you for any stupid thing, so long as it's not discriminatory against someone's gender/religion/race. I guess HR decided that my behavior somehow violated their "public representation" clause they have in the school's ridiculous employee manual.

I'll never work for another "faith-based" organization again though---some of my worst professional moments have occurred in such settings. Apparently, loudly proclaiming their "Christian" status also makes such people involved in these organizations feel as though they have the right to be self-righteous, judgemental assholes to other workers there.

[jenh526]

I've been under a lot of stress for a long time, and it is starting to affect me weirdly. The other day in the parking lot at the store, I moved the gear shift down to reverse and accidentally got it in neutral. Instead of moving it one slot up, I moved it down into drive and stepped on the gas expecting to, you know, go backwards. Heh. Took me several seconds to fathom why my car had just run into the curb. I backed up slowly, listening to the awful scrape of the underside of my car against the concrete.

 

Today on the phone I was talking to a friend and said "Do you remember when..." and promptly forgot my thought mid-stream.

[glowlights]

Yesterday I ran a few errands. Gas station, post office, library. Got in my car after the final errand and realized I had spent the ENTIRE time with my belt unbuckled and hanging loose, like some kind of perv. Ugh.

[DeLurker]

I like the color red but can't own a red car.  I had one in my early 20s, but would get unreasonably agitated if my outfit, lipstick or nails clashed with the color of the car.  I've never been an overly matchy type person and the majority of my wardrobe at the time was black (grey for spring), but this extremely minor and totally imaginery issue would cause me great psychological discomfort.

 

All subsequent cars have been black or silver/grey.

[DisneyBoy]

I was cooking one Wednesday and my husband came into the kitchen. Like I said, weird sense of humor....

I turned around and told him if he took one step further I'd stick my knife in his heart. He ran with the joke and we were in the kitchen calling each other horrible names and listing all of the ways we'd kill each other, complete with lots of F bombs and B words.

As we were doing this we hear a tentative knock on the door.

The sweet, pure young couple were standing at the open front screen door with horrified looks on their faces.

We were so embarrassed.

 

 

LOL - that's great. Too bad there wasn't a camera outside your door to capture their expressions, you know? Well I guess you'll never forget it. Although I have to ask why you and your spouse would joke around like that because it sounds a bit terrifying and like one of things that would make you look really guilty in a court of law. Hope the kids understand their parents are kooks :)

 

Okay, what can I contribute here? How about this - I was in a total frantic rush to get to the bank this week before it closed and sure enough, when I reached the intersection, it turns out there was construction and instead of crossing directly to the bank, I had to use the 3 other crosswalks to bypass the construction by going all around it. And of course, police were there pointing people to take the detour, and I tried to - in my impatient voice - say I just needed to go directly across the street to the bank, which was closing in possibly 2 minutes. The officer took one quick look at me with an "I really don't need this from you, you jerk" face and said I wasn't to cross and to go around.

 

Cue me, folding my arms, grumbling under my breath and cursing in my head. And because it's a busy intersection, the lights have been reprogrammed to allow for what seems like 4 full minutes of crossing in each way. I swear, instead of the usual 15 seconds left warning you get, it was 45 seconds. And I'm RIGHT THERE next to the bank! It's across the street! I HAVE to get in before it closes!

 

I get across the first crosswalk. I wait. Everything's moving in slow motion. I get across the second one. I can see the inside door of the bank and now I'm probably openly swearing to myself, looking to see if a teller is going to walk up to the door and pull down the metal gate to keep out new customers. "Don't you dare!" I start saying, even though I don't see anyone about to do it. I'm twitching like a running at the start gate. And this red light is the longest EVER.

 

Finally, a truck pulls up in front of me, blocking the entire crosswalk just as the lights seem about to change. Then he starts backing up, but because there are cars right behind him, he's going slowly and waiting for people to take notice. Well, I just about lose it and run around the front of him, see that the light is green for me, and blitz across the crosswalk. I haven't been able to see the front door of the bank for at least a full minute by this point, so I don't know if I'm doomed or not. People around me give me space and avoid me as I sprint for the door...

 

...and once inside see that not only are they not yet closed, but no one is moving towards the door to pull down the grate. It was one of those nights they were open until 8 pm.

 

I take my place in line, a sweaty mess, loudly cursing in my head at my own stupidity as people mill around like "what's your damage??"

 

Sigh.

Edited September 18, 2015 by DisneyBoy

[Petunia13]

I live in a midsize city and am modestly social. I work with many clients daily.

When a stranger waves at me and I have no idea who they are I often embarrass myself thinking its one of my clients/neighbors/fellow alumni an wave back without checking if they are waving or saying "hi" to someone behind me.

I did this today.

[DeLurker]

I'm context specific when it comes to recognizing people - if I know you from work and I see you out of work, my brain does not recognize you.  It is just the way my brain works (or doesn't) and always has. 

[Petunia13]

Since there's a sales aspect to my job and many of my clients are rich and/or uptight or fussy I can see one being miffed if I don't remember them from "the nail trim I gave their dog 2 months ago." RME Before grooming I worked in circulation at my public library. So a lot of random people have passed through my life. But every so often I make a dumbass of myself and wave back and there's a guy behind me. Or say hi back and they call me "Anne from Portland" or their long lost college roommate.

Yikes.

Edited September 19, 2015 by Petunia13

[Maharincess]

LOL - that's great. Too bad there wasn't a camera outside your door to capture their expressions, you know? Well I guess you'll never forget it. Although I have to ask why you and your spouse would joke around like that because it sounds a bit terrifying and like one of things that would make you look really guilty in a court of law. Hope the kids understand their parents are kooks :)

.

I guess we did it because that's our sense of humor, we were laughing like crazy the whole time and because we wanted to. The court of law thing I'm not understanding. We weren't actually planning on killing each other in the various ways we were joking that we would.

And yes, my now grown kids know that after 3 decades together their parents are not going to kill each other. They just know their parents have a sense of humor.

My family shows its love by joking and teasing and we are all perfectly fine with it.

[crazychicken]

Most embarrassing moment for me is a toss up

1. Our twin boys were about 6 weeks old and going through a day of never ending feeding so I was exhausted. There was a knock at the door so I answered it to some Jehovah Witnesses, they backed away and apologised for disturbing me after closing the door I realized my boobs were still hanging out of my bra. On the upside they never returned.

2. Our aircon broke down during a brutal summer so while waiting for a part to fix it we needed to manually fill the water resevoir with a hose. Worked great for the first few days until the hose came out. After some debate I climbed onto the roof to put the hose back in. Then freaked out and couldn't get down as I hate heights. Cue me crying on the roof for about an hour when a removalist van pulls in next door, after some yelling our new neighbours came and rescued me. It is still a running joke 12 years later.

3. While looking at houses while pregnant with our boys the agent took us through a 3 bedroom house, I insisted that was not enough bedrooms as if we had another child I didn't want any different genders to share. Even my husband asking how many different gender children I expected didn't make me twig. I went into a rambling explaination on how we didn't know if the twins I was carrying were boy/girl so we needed at least a 4 bedroom in case our 3rd child was a different gender. It was about an hour later when we got home that I finally twigged that there was only 2 genders so a 3 bedroom home was fine for us.

[bubbls]

In the grand scheme of things this is unimportant, but it's one of the top cringe worthy moments of my life. The guy who mows our lawn, who is 20 years younger than me, asked me a question about high school. He was wondering if he went to school with my (nonexistent) kids. I somehow misinterpreted that to mean he was asking if we went to school together and my answer reflected that. He got a subtle but funny look on his face but didn't correct me (because he's a nice Midwestern guy raised to respect his elders!). The conversation stayed on my mind due to that look when suddenly a whole week later while stopped at a traffic light I realized what he was really asking. I'm blushing at this very moment typing this and this conversation was 4 years ago! I am admittedly terrible at judging the ages of people but still.....!!!

 

 

 

1. Our twin boys were about 6 weeks old and going through a day of never ending feeding so I was exhausted. There was a knock at the door so I answered it to some Jehovah Witnesses, they backed away and apologised for disturbing me after closing the door I realized my boobs were still hanging out of my bra. On the upside they never returned.

 

 

Oh my gosh, I'm dying laughing!! Puts my story into perspective! Regarding your roof experience, if I ever had to climb onto the roof I'd get stuck too as I'm petrified of heights. It's the getting down that freezes you up, yeah?

Edited September 19, 2015 by bubbls

[bubbls]

I'm context specific when it comes to recognizing people - if I know you from work and I see you out of work, my brain does not recognize you.  It is just the way my brain works (or doesn't) and always has. 

 

 

I did this with my chiro. I saw him in the grocery store. He smiled and said hi. I smiled back kind of tentatively and said "hiii?" I then turned and followed him down the aisle and said "Who ARE you???" He laughed and said it happens all the time with his clients.

 

 

 

I was cooking one Wednesday and my husband came into the kitchen. Like I said, weird sense of humor....

 

 

LOL!! I gotta remember this because Mr Bubbls and I have a decades-long thing where we say the most disgusting things to each other to try to shock the other. I started it when we were dating by innocently exclaiming during a bad cycle that my uterus hurt while clutching my abdomen. He, being a shy bachelor for years, got an absolutely terrified look on his face. So, of course, I ran with it from then on and he finally started to join in. He's currently in the lead, but I'm working on that.

Edited September 19, 2015 by bubbls

[Quof]

I'm context specific when it comes to recognizing people - if I know you from work and I see you out of work, my brain does not recognize you.

I was once getting out of my car at the grocery store on a Saturday. A distinguished looking older gentleman getting in his car said "Good morning."  I nodded and half smiled.  "Good morning" he repeated.   To be fair, I was in the middle of a sexual assault trial and wasn't terribly trusting of the male species at that moment, so I may have shot him a look as I muttered "good morning". We both continued on our way. When I got in the store I realized "Shit, that was Judge X". 

[DeLurker]

^^^

Oh shite!

[Blergh]

Now, obviously I'm not going to recall my MOST embarrassing moment/s on a Forum that could go viral and wind up haunting me forever. However; I think I'll use this one to tell on myself I wouldn't mind getting repeated. Way back in college, I walked across campus around 'stupid o'clock' and chatted with   someone for the very first time from 'Obscurity, No State'.  The name of the town proved so memorable to me that the next day when I saw someone who said they were from 'Obscurity, No State', I replied ' Oh, do you know Jeb Watchmacallit? He's also from 'Obscurity, No State'. At which point, the person replied 'Blergh, that's ME!'

     Thankfully, he proved to be a fairly good college chum despite my initial name amnesia .

[Maharincess]

Most embarrassing moment for me is a toss up

1. Our twin boys were about 6 weeks old and going through a day of never ending feeding so I was exhausted. There was a knock at the door so I answered it to some Jehovah Witnesses, they backed away and apologised for disturbing me after closing the door I realized my boobs were still hanging out of my bra. On the upside they never returned.

2. Our aircon broke down during a brutal summer so while waiting for a part to fix it we needed to manually fill the water resevoir with a hose. Worked great for the first few days until the hose came out. After some debate I climbed onto the roof to put the hose back in. Then freaked out and couldn't get down as I hate heights. Cue me crying on the roof for about an hour when a removalist van pulls in next door, after some yelling our new neighbours came and rescued me. It is still a running joke 12 years later.

3. While looking at houses while pregnant with our boys the agent took us through a 3 bedroom house, I insisted that was not enough bedrooms as if we had another child I didn't want any different genders to share. Even my husband asking how many different gender children I expected didn't make me twig. I went into a rambling explaination on how we didn't know if the twins I was carrying were boy/girl so we needed at least a 4 bedroom in case our 3rd child was a different gender. It was about an hour later when we got home that I finally twigged that there was only 2 genders so a 3 bedroom home was fine for us.

Climbing on a roof 2 years ago is why I'm in a wheelchair today so I very, very much understand that fear.

My old neighborhood was a regular neighborhood with the houses pretty close together. One really hot day I was doing housework in my shorts and no top, it got too hot and I took it off at some point. I kept cleaning then went into the front yard to shake out some rugs. I was shaking the rugs like crazy and didn't realize until other things started shaking that I had forgotten to put my top back on.

I live on a hill on 6 acres now and go out topless all the time because nobody can see me up here but they got a good show at my old place!

[KnoxForPres]

In the grand scheme of things this is unimportant, but it's one of the top cringe worthy moments of my life. The guy who mows our lawn, who is 20 years younger than me, asked me a question about high school. He was wondering if he went to school with my (nonexistent) kids. I somehow misinterpreted that to mean he was asking if we went to school together and my answer reflected that. He got a subtle but funny look on his face but didn't correct me (because he's a nice Midwestern guy raised to respect his elders!). The conversation stayed on my mind due to that look when suddenly a whole week later while stopped at a traffic light I realized what he was really asking. I'm blushing at this very moment typing this and this conversation was 4 years ago! I am admittedly terrible at judging

This wasn't really embarrassing for me, but more a jolt of reality. When I was in my mid 20s I was at Publix wearing a tee shirt of my High School where I graduated (mom is librarian there and still to this day buys me their cute tees). The bag boy asked if I was a teacher at said school. As I got in my car it was a big moment to realize that I no longer "looked" like a student-was now old enough to be the teacher. Intrinsically I knew that, but still....

Pre caller ID days I interviewed for a job at Ann Taylor. I had talked to my sister on the phone and ended a conversation. Not one second later the phone rang. Knowing it was my sis calling to say something she forgot in the weirdest, craziest, should be committed voice I said "House of Harry's Wax Musuem. If you can think it-we can wax it". A very proper sounding woman says "This is blank from Ann Taylor calling for KnoxForPres." Immediately I thought "oh shit", hung up and didn't get that job!

Edit because I thought of another one! I was talking to this smoking hot guy years ago. He had gone to an elite by any standards all boys boarding school. We were discussing the pros and cons and he said "ultimately looking back it was a bunch of depraved males I lived with." I said "really? With all that money- what exactly were you deprived of?"

Damn it. Though- I did learn a word that day.

Edited September 20, 2015 by KnoxForPres

[Petunia13]

Well they were deprived also I guess.

[DeLurker]

After having my new iPhone for about a month, it stopped ringing and giving me text notifications.  I had resisted a smartphone for years because I figured I would not use half the stuff and when I finally caved, it stops working after such a short period - mutter mutter mutter...I bring it in to a Sprint store, explain the problem and the young lady (early 20s) smiles at me very kindly, flips the small lever on the side that mutes everything.  I'm sure she was thinking - poor thing, it really is so simple.  She must be daft.

[bubbls]

After having my new iPhone for about a month, it stopped ringing and giving me text notifications.  I had resisted a smartphone for years because I figured I would not use half the stuff and when I finally caved, it stops working after such a short period - mutter mutter mutter...I bring it in to a Sprint store, explain the problem and the young lady (early 20s) smiles at me very kindly, flips the small lever on the side that mutes everything.  I'm sure she was thinking - poor thing, it really is so simple.  She must be daft.

 

 

<---Guilty. Well, I didn't bring mine in only because my husband pointed out the little switch I'd accidentally flipped. I use that cool little switch all the time now! It's sad when your phone is smarter than you are.

[NutMeg]

My 11 year old said this "phones get smarter and people get dumber".

 

He's not wrong. For instance, I used to know all my friends numbers by heart. Now if I were to be abandoned in a bad side of town with no phone, I wouldn't know any number to call (except for my home phone, but suppose everyone there is sporting headphones, lots of good it would do me!)

 

Then again, he's very savy with his phone and helped me figured a few things with mine (recent transfuge to Smartphone, my old Motorolla was starting to act funny, I opted for iPhone 6S because there was nothing I liked in non smart phones, and seeing as it's a new version I should be good for years - hello, until last week I was still smugly using a flip phone! which must have been hot when I bought it, because I keep seeing it in movies and series :-) )

[potatoradio]

I really hate dopplegangers. I was at the gym and headed to the bathroom and thought I saw a friend of mine sitting at a table. Complete and utter doppleganger and plus I run into my friend at the gym a lot, so I was 100% confident it was her. I strode up to this person and said, in my inside-joke-meant-for-friend voice, "well, helloooooooo there, hot stuff!" She looked up with a bit of murder in her eyes, but said, "hello?" I realized what I'd done and, if I were less socially awkward, would have explained, but I was so mortified I just waved and kept walking. I'm cool like that. Smooth criminal, I am.

 

The other week, I was walking to the bathroom at work with a bagful of unfortunate products I currently use to take care of some, ahem, indelicate issues. Well, I saw the wet floor, but kept going, forgetting that I was wearing new shoes with slippery soles and....WHAM! Down I go, and my products fly all over the hall. Out come several coworkers, worried at the apparent elephant storming the building. I tried to wave them away, but no, they're polite and insist on helping me to my feet and one of them (a guy, of course) insists on picking up every one of the products, but doesn't have the bag, so, as I get to my feet, he hands me the assorted products for the embarrassing problems. 

 

Yes, I know there's nothing WRONG with a woman's cycle or itching issues, but cripes, nobody's coworkers need to know that much about my personal current biology, thankyouverymuch.

 

 

 

[potatoradio]

I really hate dopplegangers. I was at the gym and headed to the bathroom and thought I saw a friend of mine sitting at a table. Complete and utter doppleganger and plus I run into my friend at the gym a lot, so I was 100% confident it was her. I strode up to this person and said, in my inside-joke-meant-for-friend voice, "well, helloooooooo there, hot stuff!" She looked up with a bit of murder in her eyes, but said, "hello?" I realized what I'd done and, if I were less socially awkward, would have explained, but I was so mortified I just waved and kept walking. I'm cool like that. Smooth criminal, I am.

 

The other week, I was walking to the bathroom at work with a bagful of unfortunate products I currently use to take care of some, ahem, indelicate issues. Well, I saw the wet floor, but kept going, forgetting that I was wearing new shoes with slippery soles and....WHAM! Down I go, and my products fly all over the hall. Out come several coworkers, worried at the apparent elephant storming the building. I tried to wave them away, but no, they're polite and insist on helping me to my feet and one of them (a guy, of course) insists on picking up every one of the products, but doesn't have the bag, so, as I get to my feet, he hands me the assorted products for the embarrassing problems. 

 

Yes, I know there's nothing WRONG with a woman's cycle or itching issues, but cripes, nobody's coworkers need to know that much about someone's personal current biology, thankyouverymuch.

Edited October 13, 2015 by potatoradio

[Petunia13]

OMG!

[Quof]

Feel your pain, potatoradio

 

Well, not literally.

[Petunia13]

Did they change the name of this thread?

[glowlights]

The other week, I was walking to the bathroom at work with a bagful of unfortunate products I currently use to take care of some, ahem, indelicate issues. Well, I saw the wet floor, but kept going, forgetting that I was wearing new shoes with slippery soles and....WHAM! Down I go, and my products fly all over the hall.

 

Oh wow. :(  I hope you're feeling better soon, by the way. Those indelicate issues are such a drag.

[Miss Dee]

Ouch, potatoradio. As someone who has had to deal with those issues, occasionally at the same time, I really felt for you there!

[potatoradio]

Thanks, everyone, for the empathy and well wishes! :)

 

I'm just confused. According to the commercials on the teevee, I'm supposed to be on a waterslide in a white bathing suit yelling "YIPEEEEEEE, f*ck you, Mother Nature" and exchanging sweatpants for a power suit so I can strut into power meetings with my problems magically solved with the right product.  

 

Sorry, Madison Avenue, sometimes the female biology just plain sucks. 

 

But I can laugh about it now, anyway.

 

 

[Petunia13]

Horse back riding on the beach and grinning. I remember that commercial for tampons or yeast infection cream. I didn't get it.

A lot of commercials are idiotic.

Today I sent an email to someone and autocorrect bungled their name before I hit send.

[RodLu]

Ew.....

Embarrassing....... =:O

XD


***************************

Lemme Think....... >_<

*******************************

I Once Years Ago Absentmindedly-Left The Vehicle Running After I Parked It.....

.....and locked it.....

.....and walked-away a bit, even, till: "Ey....." 

O_o

>_<

Edited October 24, 2015 by RodLu

[zxy556575]

I was flying back from Hong Kong once and had been delayed in customs so was rushing to catch my flight. This was before they prevented you from checking in late. It was very hot and muggy and I was carrying an umbrella, purse, overnight case, and two shopping bags of souvenir crap. (Again, before they stopped allowing that.) I had used my frequent flyer miles to upgrade to first class. When I finally made my way onto the plane, the other passengers were already seated. I'm 5'10" and 230 pounds, so ... fat lady coming aboard! I caught one of my bags on something, which stopped my forward momentum and made me grab onto one of the seats for balance. I then slipped kind of sideways into the seat, causing the tray table to come down and me to fall onto it and break it. I dragged myself upright, picked up all my belongings, including my hat which had rolled a ways back down the aisle, then managed to jab my umbrella into one of the other passengers as I made my way to my seat. After I did, the entire cabin was deathly quiet as all the polite, petite Asians gaped at the sweaty, clumsy person. I'm sure the "American" was implied in their minds.

On another occasion I was riding the streetcar while visiting New Orleans. Again, really hot. Me and heat don't do well. The St. Charles line is "the oldest continuously operating streetcar in the world! The mahogany seats, brass fittings and exposed ceiling light bulbs are from a day when plastic seats and aluminum rails were not even a thought." So not your typical modern public transportation. When it came to my stop, I tried to exit on the wrong side, pushing and then forcibly pushing at the door that was never going to open until it broke and pieces of brass and wood fell to the floor. Nobody on the car said a word as I realized my mistake and finally turned around and slunk off on the correct side.

Also embarrassing is continually sending personal emails meant for my brother-in-law Peter to a different Peter I work with. Honestly, I've done it at least 10 times. I would blame my email's auto-fill feature but it's just me not paying attention. I quit my job last month and am sure work Peter is super glad not to have to deal with my notes to him about furnace repair and brunch plans.

Edited January 10, 2016 by lordonia

[EighteenTwelve]

My (university) office is closed in the week between Christmas and New Year's.  So, like a good kid, I put an out of office message on my email.  It gave me an option for "every message", which I thought meant it would reply to every new message.  Not so much...it replied to all 3500 messages that were currently in my inbox. Fortunately most people only came back to several hundred emails from me, instead of sitting at their computers watching it happen, so they thought it was funny.  The exception, of course, was the Vice Dean, who got all of them on his phone in an airport. 

[jenh526]

EighteenTwelve I think I might be able to top that. I work in IT and periodically have to send out mass email messages to our customers. Last week I was tasked with sending out 20,000 emails. Like a good IT person, I tested it before doing the real thing, sending it to the head of the department so it could be double-checked. The problem was, when I went live with it I forgot to enable the line in the script that would send it to the customers. Give you one guess who ended up with 20,000 emails in their inbox.

Edited January 18, 2016 by jenh526

[EighteenTwelve]

Yep, you win. :)

[ShellSeeker]

While travelling for work last year, I stayed at a hotel I've stayed at many times. On this particular trip, I had a room with 2 queen sized beds. So I slept in one, and had all my stuff piled on the other. Every night I would toss all my clothes into my open suitcase when I got ready for bed. I would also set my laptop on that bed too. So one morning, I came strolling down to the restaurant to have breakfast. I went over to my usual table, and set my laptop bag down on one of the chairs. And it was then, and only then, that I realized there was a pair of undies wrapped around the shoulder strap of my laptop bag. Thankfully, I was able to stuff them away before anyone else noticed. At least I hope I was.

[jenh526]

I got embarrassed on behalf of someone else the other day. It was a customer service rep. He was checking my address over the phone, reading off the street, city, etc. When he got to the state (NM) he hesitated and then said "Northern Minnesota"? When I said "New Mexico" he got very embarrassed and then started laughing. I said, well, it's ok, no one knows where New Mexico is. He then said, "but I'm in Arizona"!

[DeLurker]

He must have had the same geography brain I have.

[Petunia13]

At my old job we had an automatic door that slid horizontally if the sensor detected anything in front of it.

Several x a day people would stand in front of the part it slid to instead of the door. Or in front of full length windows expecting them to open.

[Sandman87]

I used to do tech support for a software company that had large corporate contracts as wall as selling retail, and frequently spoke to a handful of desktop support techs in Japan. One day I came to work, and all my coworkers were smirking at me, or outright laughing. Turned out that one of our regular Japanese tech support contacts had called in and spoken to my supervisor on the previous day, and she had told him that she  was "very pleasured by my servicing."

 

My supervisor could not keep a straight face when he stopped by my desk to thank me for "going the extra mile to make our customers happy."

[ari333]

Back in the day I had gum surgery/procedure. Iow, this was not a person I saw a lot. I was in a local neighborhood grocery and this dude came rushing up to me asking how I was doing. I had no clue who he was. I pretended to know him bc he was just so earnest and nice. I know I should have just said, "Im sorry. How do we know each other?" But I didn't.  It was  my periodontist, but he mentioned nothing about my gums which would have clued me in.  The whole time I was talking to him I had no idea who he was bc he was out of context. It finally  hit me later when I got home who he was.

Another time karma got me good. There was this couple who my then husband and I knew. Their names were Fay and Gary. Well, for giggles and only in the privacy of our home, we called them Gay and Fairy. No we're not homophobes, it was just a silly play on words in our own home. Then at a party I was in a position of having to introduce then and.... yep...... I said, "gay and Fairy" and almost died of embarrassment. the more I tried to correct it ,the worse it got. See? That's what I get for making fun of people's names..

Same thing happened to me in school when my best friend and I would tell all kinds of stories that were only meant for us in private so as not to hurt anyone's feelings. There was a dude whose name was Tortoricci and behind closed doors we called him "Sort of greasy." Well,you can guess the rest of the story. It slipped out and I wanted to die

We had a neighbor who referred to our car as "MisterBishi." She was mispronouncing "Mitsubishi." Bless her heart.  So of course when I was calling the mechanic to make an appointment I said , "Mister Bishi." The more I tried to say it correctly, the worse it got.  KARMA!

Edited February 18, 2017 by ari333

[Splishy Splashy]

I basically have two really embarrassing moments in my young life.

#1. When I was 15 years old my family took a day trip to a Water Park/Amusement Park and I was coming down this very fast water slide in my bikini bathing suit. Well I splashed into the water below and came up and my bikini top and come completely down exposing me to what felt like the entire Water Park for several hours. I was so embarrassed and actually went into the bathroom afterwards and cried with my Mom.

#2. This one occurred when I was 16 years old and involved my Ex-Boyfriend. My Ex and I had been dating for quite some time and we had been discussing when that special time would be. Well it was going to be that day. My Parents were out with my younger brother and my sister was at a friends. So we were alone playing our music and well it happened, but we also didn't here that my parents had come home and my Mom came in right in the middle of it happening. That ended quickly and I got a long talking to, but thankfully my parents are cool and know that it is all natural. It was just very embarrassing to have Mom walk in on you on your first time. 

[ari333]

2 hours ago, Splishy Splashy said:

I basically have two really embarrassing moments in my young life.

#1. When I was 15 years old my family took a day trip to a Water Park/Amusement Park and I was coming down this very fast water slide in my bikini bathing suit. Well I splashed into the water below and came up and my bikini top and come completely down exposing me to what felt like the entire Water Park for several hours. I was so embarrassed and actually went into the bathroom afterwards and cried with my Mom.

#2. This one occurred when I was 16 years old and involved my Ex-Boyfriend. My Ex and I had been dating for quite some time and we had been discussing when that special time would be. Well it was going to be that day. My Parents were out with my younger brother and my sister was at a friends. So we were alone playing our music and well it happened, but we also didn't here that my parents had come home and my Mom came in right in the middle of it happening. That ended quickly and I got a long talking to, but thankfully my parents are cool and know that it is all natural. It was just very embarrassing to have Mom walk in on you on your first time. 

Wow..... Eeeeek on both counts. Both are horrifying; the second is way worse.  If that had been my mother I'd probably not be here in one piece to discuss this. She would have guilted (not a word?)  me to death.

When I was at my parents house to visit many years ago, she went through my stuff. I was a musician and working "on the road" and was home for a visit and staying with my parents for a few days (first mistake). I was making my own money. Paying my own bills, health insurance, car insurance every dang thing. I was 24 yrs old for crying out loud.

I had made a decision with my doctor about a prescription for birth control pills for acne and dysmenorrhea. I didn't have a boyfriend at the time so the birth control aspect /part was moot. (or MOO if you're Joey from Friends) ;-) But that was no one's business.

It was my decision. Well, she went digging in my personal stuff (not cool) when I was out on an errand and I made the mistake of leaving my things there unattended. She took my pills, opened them displayed on the coffee table in front of everyone and also had a huge PDR (book of medicines and descriptions) opened displayed on the table to the page matching my pills. HUMILIATING HOW DARE I make a decision for my health at age 24 as an unmarried adult and paying for it all myself. 

The other weird part to this story was that when I was 15 she wanted to take me to a gyno to get the same birth control pills prescribed for the cramps/ dysmenorrhea .  And fwiw, I was a virgin until age 20. Anyway, at 15, I declined bc I didn't want to be examined by a male doctor. So in essence, when it was HER idea for me at age 15 it was fine and dandy [/tm George Carlin] But when it was my choice at age 24, all hell broke loose. And she went snooping in my personal stuff. SHOCKER. I should have known better.

To take my medicine out of my personal things and to  display my pills on the coffee table was pretty shitty.

Sorry. I'm ranting yet again.

Edited February 19, 2017 by ari333