S11.E08: Lifestyle Brand

[Pallida]

They spent a lot of time harping on framboise and ganache but nary a peep on whatever Dom pronounced over and over again that meant fish with seafood stew. His thick Americanized Italian accent made it worse and he garbled it while using it as a filler for time as though we were supposed to know what THAT meant.

Sounded like oragata piñata regatta Sinatra. Ciao Dom.

 

I like your interpretation of what he said.  You've hit on one of my pet peeves: ingredients or places are "too exotic" and "need explanation" unless it's Italian.

[rubinia]

Actually meatloaf is in my standard repertoire, even with red sauce on it.  Shaping it like a skull and using half hard boiled eggs with olives for eyes plus putting a knife in it like a daggar coming out - I would have thought of that on the spot but I have been watching cooking shows for decades and have seen all those cutesy Halloween ideas many times before.

Nadia G made something similar to your idea although it was arm-shaped: http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/nadia-g/severed-braciole-arm.html

 

That dish is probably too time consuming for what Eddie had to do, but he could've done the meatloaf like you suggested. It would have been campy and funny and he could've added some story about it's "so good, it's scary!" I'm sure he would've been dinged because everyone would think it was too scary to eat, or something.

[cooksdelight]

Arnold has to know that we're all waiting for Suzy to come strutting out into the kitchen. He knows challenges require presentation. He'd kill it. Instead, he's killing his chances by not being the person he's most comfortable being, in my opinion. Bob and Susie would be beating the tabletop with their hands, begging for more.

[Totale]

That dish is probably too time consuming for what Eddie had to do, but he could've done the meatloaf like you suggested. It would have been campy and funny and he could've added some story about it's "so good, it's scary!" I'm sure he would've been dinged because everyone would think it was too scary to eat, or something.

 

Your message just inspired a wonderful vision where Eddie makes up an extreme eating exhibition sandwich like a 8 inch high quadruple cheeseburger with bacon, Hollandaise, mortadella and foie gras in between topped with avocado, and says, "It's Halloween, kids, so I'm gonna scare you.  There are at least a half-dozen shows just here on Food Network where minor celebrities will go to local dives somewhere in mid-America.  There they'll eat a burger much like this one and as the cheese sauce and rare meat juices roll down their globby wattles they'll tell you how great it tastes, especially with the mmm mmm bacon.  (Reaches onto table and picks up a 5-inch test tube 3/4 full of noxious yellow gelatinous goo).  This is the amount of saturated fat - not all the fat, just the saturated fat - in that sandwich.  I'll tell you, I'm a big guy and it scares the living hell out of me!  I don't think you wanna be like those guys, do you?  So watch my new Food Network show, "You Can Eat that Shit, or You Can Train, So Choose!",  where I'll show you recipes that will let you leave that all behind, and still leave you feeling full after a full workout - even if you can't clean and jerk 250 pounds!" (Steps back and does just that, holding until his time runs out).

 

(PSST: interns, show it to Tusch.  If he needs some help punching up the scripts a bit next year, he can find me.)

[Clanstarling]

Can they please, please banish sriracha from "The Network"?  I finally bought some because I kept seeing it on cooking shows and YUCK. I have concluded I am sensitive to different spices than a lot of people because I find stuff painfully hot that other people say is "flavorful" (and vice versa - I'll warn someone that a food is hot and they taste it and think I'm crazy), but I seriously can't imagine what sriracha would even be good in.

I resisted buying it because it seems to only come in huge bottles. Eventually I found some at a Thai restaurant, so I tried a little. I like a lot of spicy foods, and many different types of chilis, but the ones I like impart flavor as well as heat. This is the first thing I've tried that seemed (to me) to have no flavor at all. It was nothing but heat. So, even though I like spicy food, I'm in agreement with you regarding siracha.

[NikSac]

I resisted buying it because it seems to only come in huge bottles. Eventually I found some at a Thai restaurant, so I tried a little. I like a lot of spicy foods, and many different types of chilis, but the ones I like impart flavor as well as heat. This is the first thing I've tried that seemed (to me) to have no flavor at all. It was nothing but heat. So, even though I like spicy food, I'm in agreement with you regarding siracha.

 

Ha funny you said that. I have a huge bottle that will never be used.

 

Can we start some sort of petition to block sriracha from the Food Network?

[Snarklepuss]

 

They spent a lot of time harping on framboise and ganache but nary a peep on whatever Dom pronounced over and over again that meant fish with seafood stew. His thick Americanized Italian accent made it worse and he garbled it while using it as a filler for time as though we were supposed to know what THAT meant.

Sounded like oragata piñata regatta Sinatra. Ciao Dom.

 

I like your interpretation of what he said.  You've hit on one of my pet peeves: ingredients or places are "too exotic" and "need explanation" unless it's Italian.

 

But Dom didn't expect the audience to know what those Italian words meant and told us it was a fish with seafood stew and toasted bread crumbs on top.  Unlike Arnold who didn't explain what framboise or ganache meant whatsoever. That's the only reason they got on Arnold's case and not Dom's.  I don't think it had anything to do with it being Italian.  I'm sure if Dom didn't explain what those words meant they'd have gotten on his case too.

[Snarklepuss]

Nadia G made something similar to your idea although it was arm-shaped: http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/nadia-g/severed-braciole-arm.html

 

That dish is probably too time consuming for what Eddie had to do, but he could've done the meatloaf like you suggested. It would have been campy and funny and he could've added some story about it's "so good, it's scary!" I'm sure he would've been dinged because everyone would think it was too scary to eat, or something.

 

I knew I saw something like that somewhere!  LOL, thanks for posting that!  Hey even if it looked gross if it tasted good he'd have done better.

 

Re: Sriracha - The rooster brand does come in a smaller size - I bought it in Walmart recently.  I don't taste just heat but acidy heat, almost citrusy.  That said, I am so tired of the latest "fad" ingredients.  I could make a long list of them here but I'll spare everyone.  I don't mind sriracha when I put it on what the culinary gods intended it to be put on - Korean noodle soups and bibimbap.  Cross splicing it to foods of other cultures doesn't work for me.  Which is another pet peeve I have - The cross pollination of some cuisines when they really don't work together just to use a fad ingredient.  Like suddenly when panko bread crumbs became all the rage regular Italian bread crumbs were "out" and recipes that really are better using traditional bread crumbs were being turned out using panko instead.  So now we have an entire generation of people who have grown up with nothing but panko bread crumbs and don't even know that traditional chicken or veal cutlet parm. tastes better with and is supposed to be made with Italian bread crumbs.  In my opinion of course.

Edited July 29, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[cooksdelight]

You can buy sriracha in little bitty bottles that have a keyring attached. So you're never without it. Because someone decided you need to have it 24/7.

[Rick Kitchen]

The factory in Los Angeles where sriracha is manufactured faced being shut down because it was spreading the smell of sriracha all over the neighborhood, and people were complaining of headaches and nausea.  They apparently did something to limit the smell so they could stay open.

[Madding crowd]

Sriracha is mentioned on almost every cooking show. It seems like the judges want salt and hot spices in everything. I didn't think anyone did well in the seasonal challenge but I probably wouldn't watch a half hour show about Christmas or Halloween either. I don't think Eddie's food was the problem, in the Halloween challenge,  he sometimes spaces out and can't think of anything to say and that is where he goes wrong. Dom does the same thing but at least his food looks good and according to the judges, tastes good.

 

I imagine Jay will win because he doesn't stumble as much as the rest. Alex relies on listing ingredients too much and I just don't see him making a sandwich themed show a success so he would have to do a world traveler type thing. Arnold is just another Party planner themed cook which the Food Network is never interested in. I really can't picture a show with someone showing me table decorations and light fixtures every week. Some of that stuff works better in blogs which are highly visual without the audio part.

[Snarklepuss]

I imagine Jay will win because he doesn't stumble as much as the rest. Alex relies on listing ingredients too much and I just don't see him making a sandwich themed show a success so he would have to do a world traveler type thing. Arnold is just another Party planner themed cook which the Food Network is never interested in. I really can't picture a show with someone showing me table decorations and light fixtures every week. Some of that stuff works better in blogs which are highly visual without the audio part.

 

If not stumbling were the only criteria we might as well have a network full of Ron Popeils and Billy Mays.  What happened to the other criteria like cooking chops, "relatability" and point of view?  They seem to be making this season all about technical performance on camera and nothing else.  I personally don't see anything "relatable" about Jay given his infomercial style delivery.  He says all the right things but it still comes across as "meh" to me.  Like Beethoven's 5th played by a computer.  Perfect technical performance but it lacks something personal and indescribable.  I'd rather watch someone who's flawed in a few ways but gets me on an emotional level.  If I had to rank the remaining stars with regard to that quality, Jay would be on the bottom.  Even Arnold and Alex would be above him.  Going back to Guy F., he sounded infomercial-like but the guy was all personal.  Same with Jeff M.  That's what made them so special.  I don't care how many personal stories Jay can pull out of a hat, they don't reach me. They used to get on the contestants for sounding too "canned" or "scripted", what happened to that?

Edited July 29, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[smiley13]

Arnold has to know that we're all waiting for Suzy to come strutting out into the kitchen. He knows challenges require presentation. He'd kill it. Instead, he's killing his chances by not being the person he's most comfortable being, in my opinion. Bob and Susie would be beating the tabletop with their hands, begging for more.

No thank you, if I wanted to see that I would watch RuPaul's Drag Queen show.

 

FNS has gotten to where it is so little real cooking, I don't want to see a character.  People who are playing a part bug me, like Emily Ellyn and her retro rad.  Go be an actor or actress and play a partif that is where your heart is, but I watch this show to see real people cooking.  But my annoyance at what they have done to this show belongs in the other thread.

[Snarklepuss]

No thank you, if I wanted to see that I would watch RuPaul's Drag Queen show.

 

FNS has gotten to where it is so little real cooking, I don't want to see a character.  People who are playing a part bug me, like Emily Ellyn and her retro rad.  Go be an actor or actress and play a partif that is where your heart is, but I watch this show to see real people cooking.  But my annoyance at what they have done to this show belongs in the other thread.

 

I have to agree with you on that.  As much as I love Suzy Wong, I see her as more of a schticky thing for the Cooking Channel, sort of like Nadia G. and her Bitchin' Kitchen.  I don't really see Arnold as Suzy as the winner of this show and I prefer the winner of FNS to be a real person, not a character.  I dread the thought of this but I really think Jay is going to win this.  Ugh.  If I had to choose right now I'd take Arnold, Eddie and even Alex over him.  Of course my first choice would have ideally been Dom.

[rab01]

Late to the party but I had to post to say that our long national nightmare is over now that Dom is finally gone.

 

I know lots of people liked him and I don't hate him as a person but his strongest point was supposed to be his cooking and he never cooked *interesting* food. It was always the successful execution of a traditional dish. Where's the excitement in watching that? So, I ended up being bored by his dishes and it didn't help that he stank in all of his elimination challenge performances.

 

If this show is trying to find a Food Network Star, he couldn't help their current line-up because they're already covered for Italian cooking; if this show is about finding someone great on camera, he clearly wasn't; if this is just a game show where the winner is the one who wins the most challenges, he lost every single one. So, in all ways, this was an elimination a long time coming.

 

As for the holiday selection, I agree that Halloween was a tough choice but it's hard to come up with other choices. I can understand them wanting to stay away from Passover and Easter (or even making that the option of the contestant) but what would that leave?  New Year's Eve? The Super Bowl?

 

Lastly, my crackpot theory of the week -- teaming up with Michelle was so terrible that it messes up contestants for an entire episode after (or longer) -- The Boys v. Girls dinner party started the women's epic losing streak, Dom was absolutely horrible on the Improv challenge that followed his work with Michelle, and now Eddie completely crumbles immediately after being her partner ....   she was the black cat of the competition.

[cooksdelight]

I moved talk of past season people and hosts to the Past Season Alums thread so we can stay on topic of this episode. :)

[Gbb]

Your message just inspired a wonderful vision where Eddie makes up an extreme eating exhibition sandwich like a 8 inch high quadruple cheeseburger with bacon, Hollandaise, mortadella and foie gras in between topped with avocado, and says, "It's Halloween, kids, so I'm gonna scare you.  There are at least a half-dozen shows just here on Food Network where minor celebrities will go to local dives somewhere in mid-America.  There they'll eat a burger much like this one and as the cheese sauce and rare meat juices roll down their globby wattles they'll tell you how great it tastes, especially with the mmm mmm bacon.  (Reaches onto table and picks up a 5-inch test tube 3/4 full of noxious yellow gelatinous goo).  This is the amount of saturated fat - not all the fat, just the saturated fat - in that sandwich.  I'll tell you, I'm a big guy and it scares the living hell out of me!  I don't think you wanna be like those guys, do you?  So watch my new Food Network show, "You Can Eat that Shit, or You Can Train, So Choose!",  where I'll show you recipes that will let you leave that all behind, and still leave you feeling full after a full workout - even if you can't clean and jerk 250 pounds!" (Steps back and does just that, holding until his time runs out).

 

(PSST: interns, show it to Tusch.  If he needs some help punching up the scripts a bit next year, he can find me.)

 

Love it! They'd never criticize existing FN shows, but everything else about this is a home run. I really would love it if Eddie focused on *delicious* food that's good for you. Nothing over the top crazy, just real food that doesn't dump a ton of crap into your bloodstream and still manages to taste good. I'd watch that in a heartbeat.

[saltycheese]

Agreed. Jay has a story for everything, but his stories are boring. Maybe it's because I am not from the South, but I never really watch any of the southern-themed shows, anyway. The hosts that I like may as well be in any kitchen in any part of the country.  They also all seem to be white females, as I am, which probably means something. I can honestly say that if Emilia hadn't gone off the rails with that awkward stand-up, I would probably have given her show a chance had she been given one. 

 

 

If not stumbling were the only criteria we might as well have a network full of Ron Popeils and Billy Mays.  What happened to the other criteria like cooking chops, "relatability" and point of view?  They seem to be making this season all about technical performance on camera and nothing else.  I personally don't see anything "relatable" about Jay given his infomercial style delivery.  He says all the right things but it still comes across as "meh" to me.  

[MerBearHou]

The thing I like about the remaining guys is that they all seem kind. I actually like them. Jay seeming critical in the talking heads this week doesn't concern me one iota -- I think that is very, very producer/interviewer driven. Though his personality is big, Jay seems to be very good-hearted and I'm drawn to that (same as Jeff Mauro). If you have a bitchy/arrogant vibe, I turn the other direction (i.e., Giada).

I'm intrigued by the point made that pairing with Michelle has a Black Widow effect. I thought Eddie's pork chop looked so delicious, regardless of whether it was completely on point for Halloween.

Dom was way past his expiration date.

Edited July 29, 2015 by MerBearHou

[needschocolate]

I appreciate that there are no "villians" this season.  Shows like Face Off have made me realize just how nice it is to watch competition shows where the competitors get along, instead of the bullying and arguing and backstabbing seen on other shows.  Adn some of the cooks seem to have a good sense of humor (or they are better actors, if their comments are scripted). So, i am injoying this season - It helps that I don't watch any cooking instruction type shows, so it really doesn't matter to me who wins.

 

I don't really see Arnold as Suzy as the winner of this show and I prefer the winner of FNS to be a real person, not a character.  

 

 I think that there will have to be major changes to how this show is done for there to be a winner that isn't a character.  Either the contestants are playing a character from the start or they turn them into characters by insisting on rigid points of view - you are the mom, you are the sports guy, etc...  They don't necessarily stay those characters after the get their own show (or so I have heard, as I don't watch), but they all seem to end up as characters on this show.  I think Eddie is doing the best at not becoming a character.  

[cooksdelight]

Do not post photos or info here that doesn't pertain to this episode. We have a spoilers thread for that, which is where I have moved some posts. But most of you are regulars here and know better. Next time, I won't be as polite.

 

Thank you.

[buttercupia]

I love sriracha and buy it by the case. I also love sambal oelek, harissa, and gojuchang, and use them in a variety of dishes.  There are nuances to the flavor profiles of each.

I'm worried for Arnold. 

[HappyDancex2]

I love all those too buttercupia but I'm annoyed when these flavorings are used by non experts to show a style of cuisine. It's like "make something Asian by adding sesame oil!" "Want Mediterranean food? Add olives!" "Let me show you the cuisine of North Africa...Harissa!"

I just wish early on there would be one challenge that was more Top Chef style where they could prepare an item over 2 days to really show a culinary POV or technical chops. So we could at least see the depth of their expertise instead of relying on Bobby or even the contestants themselves.

I'd have more respect for Dom if I could have watched him break down a bunch of fish...or Jay grab a hog and slice it up if that's what he used to do in the wild growing up. At this point in the game I feel like I'm just watching the 10th time they are trying to tell me something through a rushed story in under 3 minutes. The format is getting old.

The seasonal shows would be edited to sound great...Dom would be fine in editing...he's just not good improving a walk and talk. Jay tells stories but I'm not sure if they are real. Arnold is like a caged penguin waiting to unleash himself on the world. And the sandwich fanatic won't be remembered past next week. I can't even remember what holiday he had.

[NewDigs]

I love all those too buttercupia but I'm annoyed when these flavorings are used by non experts to show a style of cuisine. It's like "make something Asian by adding sesame oil!" "Want Mediterranean food? Add olives!" "Let me show you the cuisine of North Africa...Harissa!"

I just wish early on there would be one challenge that was more Top Chef style where they could prepare an item over 2 days to really show a culinary POV or technical chops. So we could at least see the depth of their expertise instead of relying on Bobby or even the contestants themselves.

I'd have more respect for Dom if I could have watched him break down a bunch of fish...or Jay grab a hog and slice it up if that's what he used to do in the wild growing up. At this point in the game I feel like I'm just watching the 10th time they are trying to tell me something through a rushed story in under 3 minutes. The format is getting old.

The seasonal shows would be edited to sound great...Dom would be fine in editing...he's just not good improving a walk and talk. Jay tells stories but I'm not sure if they are real. Arnold is like a caged penguin waiting to unleash himself on the world. And the sandwich fanatic won't be remembered past next week. I can't even remember what holiday he had.

Agree. And cosign all.

Unfortunately it seems that most of these competition shows (Project Runway, Top Chef, Masterchef etc. etc. etc.) have decided that a competition is simply a race to the finish. No extra info needed. Unless it enrages or depresses the viewers.

Sandwich guy had the 4th of July which he turned into The 500 Spices of Alex someone or other who needs a new haircut.

I have to wonder, At what point does this thinking become counter productive? Ya' cut the budget, are you perhaps also cutting viewers?

Yet, I watch.

[buttercupia]

Right, there's absolutely more to cooking than a 90 second on camera presentation or a 90 minute prep time "meal that summarizes your POV".  Julia Child, Emeril, or Jacques Pepin wouldn't stand a chance against the befuddled expressions of kermit and medusa at the glowing v table of doom.

[sockii]

I just wish early on there would be one challenge that was more Top Chef style where they could prepare an item over 2 days to really show a culinary POV or technical chops. So we could at least see the depth of their expertise instead of relying on Bobby or even the contestants themselves.

I'd have more respect for Dom if I could have watched him break down a bunch of fish...or Jay grab a hog and slice it up if that's what he used to do in the wild growing up. At this point in the game I feel like I'm just watching the 10th time they are trying to tell me something through a rushed story in under 3 minutes. The format is getting old.

 

This is exactly what drives me crazy about FNS...and I guess Food Network in general at this point. Crazy stunt challenges and "quick-come-up-with-something-based-on-a-theme-you-don't-like" has nothing to do with whether someone is a cook whose program I'd want to watch! That's not how a cooking show would/should be planned; it's not how I am looking to cook at home. It's all gimmicks and silliness.

 

If they had to do a holiday-themed challenge? Give the chefs time to plan something thoughtful; a dish that might take longer than 30 minutes or an hour to prepare (after all, most holiday food is special event food; dishes only made for special occasions because of the time, effort and ingredients involved. How about actually have them film an entire recipe, and see whether it can actually be reproduced successfully by some test audience members?

[Brookside]

I'm sure this has been said before, but if Dom can't manage to be comfortable in a 1 minute camera presentation, he'll never make it to 30 minutes in a way that makes financial sense to Food Network.

[biakbiak]

So I know he stopped mentioning his cheat day concept around episode 2 but is Eddie's pov now just Caribbean?

[cooksdelight]

Biakbiak. honestly, I don't know what anyone's POV is at this point. It changes.

[GaT]

So I know he stopped mentioning his cheat day concept around episode 2 but is Eddie's pov now just Caribbean?

 

 

Biakbiak. honestly, I don't know what anyone's POV is at this point. It changes.

That's because everybody's POV is exactly the same, whatever gets you the win.

[Uncle Benzene]

Great googly moogly! How in the blue hell did I miss this moment the first time around?!?

 

Quote of the week goes to Eddie, while commenting on Jay's stuffing of the quail: "He can barely get his fingers in the butt!"

 

Oh my.