DollEyes July 10, 2015 Share July 10, 2015 (edited) It was inevitable. You knew it was coming. Gird your loins! No, I'm not talking about Donald Trump's running for President-I'm talking about Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, the newest sequel in the SyFy Network's brilliant TV-movie blockbuster series, debuting July 22nd, about one family's battles against what happens when sharks are combined with tornadoes, becoming a semi-natural disaster that destroys everything and almost anyone in its path in some of the cheesiest, most unintentionally hilarious ways possible. Like the first two films, Sharknado 3 stars Ian Ziering and Tara Reid as Fin & April, the couple who are apparently destined to take on sharknadoes every chance they get. Also, like the first two films, they won't be alone. There will be plenty of B, C & D-list guest stars along the way, suck as Mark Cuban, Bo Derek & Frankie Muniz, to name a few, but if they aren't enough to convince you to watch, here are two more words: The Hoff, as in the man, the legend, David Hassellhoff. Sharknado has become such a pop-culture phenom that it's even made the cover of the new issue of TV Guide, which was shot by Bo Derek. Chat about all things S3: OHN here. Chainsaws optional. Edited July 12, 2015 by DollEyes 1 Link to comment
Ohwell July 10, 2015 Share July 10, 2015 (edited) I was hoping The Hoff would be in this. I'm in. Plus, Mark Cuban will make great shark meat. Edited July 10, 2015 by Ohwell Link to comment
ShadowHunter July 22, 2015 Share July 22, 2015 I already know this will at least be better then Jaws 4 lol. The tweets all day have been a riot its amazing how this took off. If I had known when I was younger Steve would be the hero I wouldnt have wasted my time crushing on Dylan. 2 Link to comment
bosawks July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 Killing the black guy first and in front of Abe Lincoln..... That's so wrong people. 1 Link to comment
bosawks July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 (edited) That's the greenest money I've ever seen. Michelle Bachmann, hmmm, I've always suspected a Sharknado was a sign of intelligent design.... Edited July 23, 2015 by bosawks Link to comment
mtlchick July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 Killing the shark with the US flag....oh man. So wrong. And yet I'm crying from laughing so hard. 4 Link to comment
ShadowHunter July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 You can tell Syfy gave them a budget boost lol. Its not movie worthy but still better then the first 2 movies I think. Link to comment
mtlchick July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 My sister: " So a Dyson can kill a shark?" Me: "shhhh enjoy the random product placement." 3 Link to comment
ShadowHunter July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 Bo Derek she was also in that bad killer whale movie Orca. Link to comment
bosawks July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 My sister: " So a Dyson can kill a shark?" Me: "shhhh enjoy the random product placement." Really should've been a Shark.... 4 Link to comment
mtlchick July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 So the sharks were not fans of Agent Cody Banks I see. "We can't save him." Well his limbs were taken off by sharks, the odds were pretty slim he was going survive this. 2 Link to comment
ShadowHunter July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 George R.R. Martin getting killed while watching a shark wedding now that was awesome. 3 Link to comment
mtlchick July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 The Hoff is Fin's dad. That is so ridiculous that it's outstanding. WTF happened to Penn?! 2 Link to comment
bosawks July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 Are those hoses in case Finn lactates in orbit? Link to comment
mtlchick July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 I....have no words. But does this mean he's now a widower? Poor Gil. Barely out of the womb of a woman that in the body of a shark only for his mom to buy it when a piece of a space craft possibly crushed her. Can't wait for Sharknado 4: Why are we still here? 2 Link to comment
benteen July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 Wow, just when I think they can't think up more crazy scenes, they have birth by shark. GRRM cameo, cool! Not as fun as Sharknado 2 but still a fun way to spend a night. Crazy ridiculous but fun. 1 Link to comment
Chaos Theory July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 (edited) Tara Reid delivers a baby while inside a dead shark and they name him Gil.....then she maybe dies? Nooooo! I love Tara Reid and her special hand of death. Edited July 23, 2015 by Chaos Theory 1 Link to comment
SmithW6079 July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 I need another Sharknado!!! So much fun. Ian gets hotter every year. Replaying now and did I see Anthony Wiener in a cameo? Yes, Anthony Weiner was the flight controller. And, yes, Ian Ziering is seriously hot."Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!" was a cinematic tour de force bar none. Will "Lavalantula" surpass it? I bet Steve Guttenberg is hoping so. Link to comment
bosawks July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 This series would lose a certain something by not having the joy of watching Tara struggle with her line readings. From hereafter I will always consider it "The Space Chuttle". Link to comment
ShadowHunter July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 I am in for "Lavalantula'' lol. I honestly didn't even know about it till I saw all the commercials today. It would have been sad had I missed it. I voted for AprilLives on Twitter. She adds to the crazy magic that are the Sharknado movies. Link to comment
Bill C. July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 (edited) miniwheatthins obviously has been brought up correctly. Good job! Having not seen this yet (but having tried to keep up via Twitter) I really, really need this explained: what the hell prompted everybody to go into frigging space? Edited July 23, 2015 by Bill C. Link to comment
MrHufflepuff July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 (edited) Maybe next time put the button for your fail-safe inside the armored RV instead of on the roof? Edited July 23, 2015 by MrHufflepuff 1 Link to comment
Zanne July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 I'm impressed April not only gave birth inside of a shark, but managed to put her pants back on before they landed. 3 Link to comment
Jediknight July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 Sharks in space, with Hoff even saying the line, a lightsaber chainsaw, April giving birth in the shark, Nova being well much better and hotter than April, Maryse as a security guard (should have taken off the hat and done the hair flip), Chris Jericho as a ride operator, the cast of the Today Show getting eaten, Nova being Nova, during one of the Verizon shills the guy narrating blamed Claudia for Billy's death, surfing down stairs on paintings, and April's magical chainsaw hand. There was just so much to love in this movie, but the best thing, it only took this movie 15 minutes to do what it took Independence Day a long time to do, they destroyed the White House. 2 Link to comment
Artsda July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 (edited) Couldn't Gil have lived had he just been eaten by a shark and then fall into the atmosphere like the other 2 did? Loved all the Universal Studios scenes and cameos everywhere. Loved Nova being back too, 'Sharknado 4' Greenlit: Fans to Vote on Tara Reid's Fate Edited July 23, 2015 by Artsda Link to comment
brgjoe July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 Maybe GIl, being an astronaut, just wanted to get to the moon himself before he dies. <shrug> What I don't get is, if he can make it all the freakin' way to the moon, why couldn't he make it back the shuttle? And yeah, if those other two were able to ride in the belly of sharks to get home, why didn't he? Though I guess he didn't have his own chainsaw with him, did he? Granted, a lot of it is "it's so bad it's good" sort of a thing, but I enjoyed this as much as the first two. Maybe they did overdo the cameos, but it's something I pretty much expected anyway. Even though it was in the bilnk of an eye, I did like the George R.R. Martin one. Nicely done, guys. Great seeing Nova back too. Of course these movies are silly and over the top. But I've always been a fan of these sort of bad horror/scifi movies that don't take themselves too seriously. This Sharknado triology fits right in with that theme for me. Link to comment
Constantinople July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 If Mark Cuban is President and Ann Coulter is Vice-President, I'm rooting for the sharks. 12 Link to comment
DrSpaceman July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 I haven't not finished the movie, but made it about half way through So far it has upheld the high cheesy standard of the first two I am suprised though, no one has mentioned how Fin's daugther looks exactly like Shannen Doherty, aka Brenda Walsh, circa the original 90210 ???? That can't be a coincidence. It confused me. I seriously thought maybe that was her and somehow she just looks incredibly young still. Link to comment
Kromm July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 How are there even any sharks LEFT in the Ocean of this fictional version of Earth? 1 Link to comment
DrSpaceman July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 (edited) How are there even any sharks LEFT in the Ocean of this fictional version of Earth? For that answer........tune in for SHARKNADO 4!! They're Still There Also however they bring back Jon Snow (I am assuming they will) in GOTs, I hope they just copy it for April. Edited July 23, 2015 by DrSpaceman Link to comment
Princess Sparkle July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 It is crazy how excited I am for the How Did This Get Made crew to talk about this tomorrow. They will have a FIELD day once again. It's hilarious at how angry Scott Aukerman gets that they still make them, since then he has to watch it. Link to comment
BooksRule July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 (edited) I feel I need to read a classic work of literature or watch a 'serious' classic film to try to restore some of the brain cells I lost while watching this movie. However, it was good cheesy fun. I must not be up on my pop culture or whatnot, but most of the cameos were lost on me because I didn't recognize anyone (even George R.R. Martin, although he did look familiar. I thought he was the famous skeptic 'The Amazing Randi', for some reason). Finn ('Fin') now has a son named Gil ('Gill'). If April survives and they have more, what names would be next? Chum? Scale? Pisces? I'm already trying to guess what the plot of Sharknado 4 will be. A fast-forward in time so that young Gil is now his dad's shark-fighting sidekick? I would like to see the Colonel survive on the moon with the help of some aliens who have been hiding on the dark side of the moon, waiting to help us fight the super/mutant sharks. Or, they could move the whole story to another part of the world, so we can see the sharks take out the Eiffel Tower, Taj Mahal, Big Ben, etc. I know belief has to be suspended so far for these movies that it's totally ridiculous, but I thought it was funny that in all of these movies they've always been able to stab sharks and chainsaw them without the people falling over or having the weapons torn out of their hands. You would think that the sharks were feather-light. We know that sharks are really dense and heavy (/sarcasm), since they were able to take enough chunks out of the Washington Monument by just hitting that it plunged into the White House. Edited July 23, 2015 by BooksRule Link to comment
DollEyes July 23, 2015 Author Share July 23, 2015 (edited) My verdict: for the most part, I loved it. So much cheese, so little time. While some parts weren't as much fun as others (3 Black guys killed in the first 10 minutes while VP Ann Coulter's spared), this is the kind of movie where I suspend disbelief and just roll with it, whether it was a plague of sharknadoes hitting the "Feast" Coast, an originally fully-dressed Fin & Nova magically merging from a plane crash half or nearly naked, GRRM getting his at a screening of "Shark Wedding" (serves him right for killing off Ned Stark, Jon Snow (maybe) and the Red Wedding), the attacks on DC, Daytona, Universal Orlando, the Today Show or in outer space. Speaking of space, loved that I not only got the "Sharknadoes In Space" plotline I've always wanted, the Hoff and a lightsaber chainsaw were involved. Then there's the death scenes, which were hilariously brutal, by land (Lucas, the White House, the Daytona 500), at sea (or rather, in the UO pool), on the race track, on the military base or on a rollercoaster. Last, but never least, as if all those things weren't awesome enough, there's April's giving birth in a shark & in space! She deserves to live for that alone. Plus, April's bionic hand>>>>Nova's bionic boobs. Now that another movie's a go, I hope that its title is Sharknado 4: We're Not Done Yet, that the sharknadoes go international, Fin can't stop them without the UN's help, that there's more cameos, more carnage and the Hoff returns. Of course, if April's mama is still alive, then I believe that Fin's mom is too and The Hoff can play Fin's dad, then either Alexandra Paul, Nicole Eggert or Pamela Anderson should play his mom. Edited July 25, 2015 by DollEyes 2 Link to comment
Artsda July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 I am suprised though, no one has mentioned how Fin's daugther looks exactly like Shannen Doherty, aka Brenda Walsh, circa the original 90210 ???? That can't be a coincidence. It confused me. I seriously thought maybe that was her and somehow she just looks incredibly young still. They changed the daughter right? Wasn't the first daughter Aubrey Peeples from ABC's Nashville. Link to comment
SmithW6079 July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 They changed the daughter right? Wasn't the first daughter Aubrey Peeples from ABC's Nashville. I read that in one of the "reviews." They also never mention the older son, other than a throw-away line when Finn is meeting with General "Tuvok" that his son is deployed for the next eight months. It is crazy how excited I am for the How Did This Get Made crew to talk about this tomorrow. They will have a FIELD day once again. It's hilarious at how angry Scott Aukerman gets that they still make them, since then he has to watch it. The "Sharknado" movies are stupid, but they're fun, and it seems silly to get mad at them. Link to comment
Artsda July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 (edited) I read that in one of the "reviews." They also never mention the older son, They did mention him, he's in the army and on a tour. Since he was a pilot in the first one that made sense. I guess the review wasn't listening. Edited July 23, 2015 by Artsda Link to comment
benteen July 23, 2015 Share July 23, 2015 The General was Tim "Tuvok" Russ? I thought he sounded familar but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out who he was. Link to comment
pandora spocks July 24, 2015 Share July 24, 2015 If Mark Cuban is President and Ann Coulter is Vice-President, I'm rooting for the sharks. How can anybody tell the difference? 2 Link to comment
DrSpaceman July 24, 2015 Share July 24, 2015 This movie made Tara Reid's arm as artificial as the rest of her body. Finished this last night. Someone had to be high or crazy to come up with that ending. Ride inside a shark to get down to earth? How does his dad end up on the moon? How do the sharks end up on the moon? So basically though this was like Armageddon, but with sharks. Link to comment
Rick Kitchen July 24, 2015 Share July 24, 2015 So the audience will get to vote on what happens to Tara Reid in 4. Link to comment
ennui July 25, 2015 Share July 25, 2015 I'm already trying to guess what the plot of Sharknado 4 will be. I am so, so sorry. 1 Link to comment
Kromm July 25, 2015 Share July 25, 2015 I'm already trying to guess what the plot of Sharknado 4 will be. 4 Link to comment
shapeshifter July 25, 2015 Share July 25, 2015 How are there even any sharks LEFT in the Ocean of this fictional version of Earth?One of the highlights for me was the throwaway line about how every shark on earth must be in the storm. Sorry I don't recall who said it when, but I think it was either Fin or Matt Lauer.Even though I was sleep watching, I LOLed at least half a dozen times, so four stars from me. Link to comment
Zanne July 25, 2015 Share July 25, 2015 I'm already trying to guess what the plot of Sharknado 4 will be. If they don't defrost some prehistoric mega-monster sharks in the Antarctic (due to global warming, of course), I am going to be very disappointed. Link to comment
DollEyes July 25, 2015 Author Share July 25, 2015 Or, if they want to make a holiday-themed one, there could be a sharknado that hits the North Pole. Possible titles: A Holly-Jolly Sharknado, The Sharknado That Ate Christmas & Grandma Got Eaten By A Sharknado. 2 Link to comment
shapeshifter July 25, 2015 Share July 25, 2015 A list of Things I Learned From Sharknado 3: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3899796/board/flat/246432931 Link to comment
pandora spocks July 26, 2015 Share July 26, 2015 (edited) I voted for April to live because there's a remote possibilIty that Tara Reid may someday win an Emmy for her "acting" chops in subsequent Sharknado movies. Things I learned from Sharknado 3: The fact that the sharks ate Kathy Lee and Hoda prove that they're not all bad! Always carry a chainsaw with you in the remote chance that you're swallowed by a shark. After the recent controversy with Subway, Jared Fogel can kiss his Sharknado cameo days goodbye. Sharks don't let a little thing like a lack of oxygen keep them earthbound. Ann Coulter and sharks have the same flat, lifeless eyes. Forget about giving birth in a bathtub, shark-entombed deliveries are the way to go! Edited July 26, 2015 by pandora spocks 1 Link to comment
Rick Kitchen July 26, 2015 Share July 26, 2015 (edited) I want a Sharknado 4: West Side Story, with the Sharks vs. the Jets. Edited July 26, 2015 by Rick Kitchen 4 Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.