S01.E09: The Couples Meet

[Tara Ariano]

The couples meet for the first time during a dinner party hosted by Veeral's sister, and it doesn't take long before they become involved in intense confrontations and shocking revelations. Included: Ragini takes issue with Maria's dowry; Christian is overwhelmed by a question about sex; and Megan breaks down in tears over a past fight with Josh.

[Aethera]

Looks like this episode has been bumped back to the 23rd, due to the scheduling change on Married at First Sight.

[ethalfrida]

Thank you. I thought I had scheduled wrong.

[edra]

Episode was so awkward. Cringe worthy. Yikes!

[ShaNaeNae]

Did you see it Medra? It wasn't on for me.

[Broken Ox]

I haven't watched it yet, but OnDemand has it.

[edra]

Did you see it Medra? It wasn't on for me.

Yes. I watched it online.

 

I really hope it was the producers prodding Josh to ask Christian all those sexual/first night questions, it was very awkward.

[JenE4]

FYI had commercials for it all throughout Married at First Site as coming up next--but they just replayed MAFS again. I can understand not updating the TV listings, but the commercials on their own channel?! Really?!

[suzeecat]

I knew that MAFS bumped it to next week, but didn't think about it possibly being on On Demand.  !!!  I'll be watching it tonight!

[MsPH]

I've started disliking Josh. He was rude with all those sex questions.

 

I kind of love how Maria and Christian beat everyone at the newlywed game. Did Ragini really think she'd get away with trying to cheat? Something's wrong with that woman. No one can be that alpha.

[edra]

I've started disliking Josh. He was rude with all those sex questions.

 

I kind of love how Maria and Christian beat everyone at the newlywed game. Did Ragini really think she'd get away with trying to cheat? Something's wrong with that woman. No one can be that alpha.

Yes, her trying to cheat, repeatedly, went from being cute/funny to eye roll inducing.  Her constant reminders that she doesn't follow cultural, gender norms were also over the top, every word out of her mouth is to remind us, of how independent she is- Ragini we get it. I also don't understand why she had to mention that Veeral used to be overweight (not a catch), as if to calm all the viewer comments that she is lucky to have him.

[becauseIsaidso]

Up here in the boonies, I haven't been able to see this episode on line or any other way, so I am suffering through the 'marathon' lead in to this episode...tried all my On Demand & on-line options & couldn't find the sucker anywhere.

 

Arranged has taught me that Gypsies toss their kids into marriage with total disregard to the kid's and/or kid's potential spouse's level of maturity. There are lots of 18 year olds who actually do understand what it means to be and function as an adult in the world and conduct themselves accordingly - these two, not so much. I can cut Maria some slack because she was raised to be an indentured servant, and Christian because his parents clearly figured their job was done when the kid popped out of the womb and learned how to use and Xbox....not a very good commentary on either generation for blind adherence to  'the way things are done' in spite of the emotional impact it has on them, the kids, and (goddess forbid) the kids kids, who are sure to be on the way quite soon. But at least they give some honesty to the title of the show.

 

Ragini and Veeral - if their whole schtick wasn't so blatantly and obviously set up and scripted from word one, I'd be furious at his arrogance and bullying; at her prevarication and arrogance; at his parents' collusion and  interference; at her parents absence in all this. As it is, every time I hear Veeral (don't recall hearing Ragini saying it, but I probably just missed it) say words to the effect of 'because we're ARRANGED....this' and 'because we're ARRANGED...that' I want to either puke or slap his face, or both...

 

Meghan and Josh....what I have gotten from these two is that I NEVER want to hear the phrase 'from the south' or 'southern couples....this' or 'southern wives.....that' again. I have also learned that SOUTHERN WIVES are expected to eternally kiss their MIL's asses, while the SOUTHERN HUSBAND gets to completely forget he even HAS such a thing as a MIL...at least they don't say ARRANGED as often as Veeral does....maybe they get extra money every time they remind the viewing audience that they are ARRANGED? To make it even worse, Josh seems to be determined to spend the rest of his life taking his mother's side  in everything, no matter how much upset or stress it causes his wife....guess he's another one who got married just to get a housemaid and cook and sex on demand.

 

The only common thread I can see among all three couples is that once the wedding takes place, the parents of the bride cease to have any relevance/importance. So, not only do the daughters get dumped on, but their parents get a slap in the face as well. Maria has no idea how wise she was in saying she doesn't want to have any daughters.

[MelineB13]

I actually didn't know the cultural rule about the gypsies not showing affection or kissing or even hand holding in front of other people until this episode.  It actually made me feel better about Christian and Maria.  We probably assumed they were cold and distant because they never physically interacted, but that was only in front of the cameras.  I can't remember if it was in the couples meeting episode or in the never seen moments episode that aired right after, but there was a scene where they were driving away in their wedding carriage and they are talking about how they will kiss but not in front of everyone and then he tries to kiss her and she says no because the cameras are still on and then a little later she says ok because they can't see them now and you can hear them kiss. I thought that was very sweet. Yes he was a rude little shit to her a lot of the times but that is clearly a communication issue and they seem to have worked on that.  I respected him a bit more with his standing up to Josh's rude sex questions.

 

Ditto her always cleaning in a skirt.  I never even realized that none of the women wear pants until they said it last night and then it was like watching the sixth sense, all of a sudden I/the producers flashed to all the scenes of Christian's mom and Maria and both are wearing dresses/skirts and it all made sense.  

[PityFree]

I thought it was adorable when Maria talked about liking makeup so much she gets things just to have and look at. She is a girl after my own heart! I also love how she described Christian as an old man in a young man's body because he never wants to go out or do anything fun. 

 

Also Josh? Ragini? It never ends well if you are the one who is monitoring a spouse's diet and exercise. Even if they beg you to do it, DON'T DO IT! 

 

I see Veeral and Ragini divorced in 3 years max. Between the kid issue and her harping on him about his weight and his "lack of ambition" he is going to get sick of looking at her pointy face and run. 

[The Evil One]

I watched the couples reunion but not the unseen moments episode yet. I didn't like that it was on Veeral/Ragini's home turf with the sister -in-law hosting. It seems like they got off easy and didn't cover a lot about them (e.g. If they lived together before getting married and dated for so long, why hadn't some of these conversations about work/kids come up). I thought Ragini came off really snooty and judgmental. She obviously looks down her nose at women who don't work. Megan has gone to school and gotten a masters and wants to stay at home, which is her choice. Ragini cannot see that her way is not the only way.

Maria seems like she has found more of a voice and Christian seems to be at least a little humbled by being nationally reviled (or reviled by the 12 people who watched this show). I didn't realize that he basically had zero social interaction with women (other than relatives) before getting married. It doesn't excuse his behavior but it sort of explains why he was so immature. I hope, for Maria's sake, that he keeps learning to be more respectful and kind.

And I did start rooting for them in that Newlywed game. I also think Veeral spelled "biting nails" as "bidding nails" which may solve the "why isn't he a doctor?" Mystery.

[Magoo]

Well, well, well...color me surprised. All three couples were mostly likeable in this episode - I even like Veeral's sister and thought she did a great job moderating the dinner.  I was glad to see the change in Christian - he actually seems to have matured a bit.  He and Maria were definitely putting up a united front, and hopefully not just for the cameras (but please don't get me started on his parents having to travel with them - so much wrong with that).  They seem much happier and far more comfortable with each other now.  Maria definitely has her own voice in that marriage.  He's still a punk, but there may be hope that Maria's life won't be pure misery (a low bar for sure, but it's something). Josh was so awkward pushing them for answers about their wedding night, but I have a suspicion that was producer-induced.  He gets a tiny pass from me on that.  I also felt terrible for Meghan when she left the table so upset.  Josh was an asshole with tossing the tea in the name of "love and concern."  It was so interesting to me to see Veeral and Ragini's reactions to that scene.  People who have never struggled with weight and body image don't get it.  Veeral understood deeply why Meghan was so angry and upset, but Ragini gave Josh a verbal high-five at the table, saying smugly "you were just trying to help her."  That kind of attitude is infuriating - Meghan is not a child, Veeral is not an idiot -- they both know they'd feel better if they ate well and exercised, but it just ain't that easy, folks. That kind of "support" is no support at all.  Please take a seat with that shit.

[Magoo]

I also think Veeral spelled "biting nails" as "bidding nails" which may solve the "why isn't he a doctor?" Mystery. - The Evil One

 

Hah!  I didn't notice that, but that is hilarious.  Even Christian and Maria spelled their answers properly!  I initially thought it was a shame Veeral wasn't practicing because he seems like he'd have an awesome bedside manner, but...

[Pepper Mostly]

Sooooo, Veeral's sister is a producer on a reality show, then? She must do something in TV, she was very practiced and smooth in her hosting responsibilities. I felt bad for  her husband, though. He was probably told to sit there and look supportive, but not talk! He spoke up, what--once?

 

All kinds of wrong having Christian's parents there. Why? He can't check in to a hotel but did they really feel that he and Maria needed their protection at the dinner?

 

Maria works? She sells flowers full time now? Maria seems like a sweet kid and I think she definitely has a spine. I was glad to see her stick up for herself. Of course she wanted to get married--she was probably virtually in purdah at her parents' house. Getting married is probably a ticket to the world for a Gypsy girl. Once married, she can go out and have fun, either with her husband or her girlfriends or sisters. No wonder she was upset, she thought she and Christian would go out to eat, or to the movies, or to the mall. (like my young 20-something son and all his friends do, all the time!). Not just clean and sit around watching Christian play XBox.

 

Oh, yay--Josh's poisonous mother again. What a horrible horrible person. "We train Meghan, we correct her" She's not a puppy, you nasty old hag.

Edited June 24, 2015 by Pepper Mostly

[mojito]

The nails answer was Maria's, speaking of Christian's nails, and she wrote "biting". 

 

I was okay with Christian's parents showing up. They are more actively involved in the couple's life (and the show), and let's face it, these two are barely 18. Christian had already mentioned his apprehension about socializing with these older people. His mother had been coming off better and better as the shows went on, realizing that Christian wasn't being good to Maria, and saying something about it. 

 

Veeral's sister did a good job as hostess. And her husband throwing in his two cents' worth about Indian culture in contradiction to Ragini was a nice touch. Ragini came off a little too strong establishing herself as the working woman.

 

Did anyone else roll their eyes when Josh declared that if Christian talked to Maria rudely in front of him, he might say something? I guess an 18 year old male is a lot less scary than your mother.

 

Good for Christian and Maria standing up to the invasive questions and for winning the game.

[The Evil One]

The biting nails was also the answer for Ragini's worst habit that Veeral wrote down. Maria did have the same answer for Christian and her guess for herself was cutting her cuticles - a lot of nail related issues with these folks!

I also didn't mind Christian's parents being there for a portion of the show. Christian and Maria are not only barely 18, but two extremely sheltered teenagers. I thought it was appropriate, especially since they had to know that Christian's behavior would be called into question. Though I have to say that Christian and Maria both handled themselves well and were articulate about boundaries of what they would and would not discuss.

Though I have to say that when they were packing for the trip and I saw the stuffed animals lined up on their bed (there had to be five or six) my heart broke a little again for Maria. She's so young.

I finally watched the Unseen Moments episode as well. There was definitely some stuff in there that I had wished they had shown during the season like the gypsy attitude towards physical affection, talking about love and what Maria's daily life was like before getting married. It would have given more context.

The additional footage of Josh's wedding day letter to Meghan was incredibly sweet. There was nothing in the extra episode that made me like Ragini better.

[qtpye]

I was disappointed in this show on many levels.  I think Ragini should realize that no one gives a shit if she is working or not.  She should stop trying to impose her views on everyone.  Just because a woman chooses to stay home does not mean she is some sort of passive dumbass.  Many women usually work and take care of their families and she has no right to pass judgement on someone else's life choice.  Also, despite her supposed plastic surgery, she is a rather unattractive woman.  She just confirmed that she is very lucky that Veeral puts up with her.

 

This show was a giant fail and I doubt there will be a second season.  I really wanted to peek into different culture, but instead we have two unarranged marriages and very little valuable information on the one marriage that was arranged.

[becauseIsaidso]

Well, Christian (especially) and Maria certainly grew in my estimation during this episode....especially since there were several times when they seemed to be the only 'adults' in the room...I would LOVE to see a sort of 'year later after Arranged' follow-up that would show Maria having a job (with full family approval, of course) at a cosmetic counter of a major department store - she'd probably shine...I also loved that they both stuck to their guns about what their culture requires of them, particularly in the  area of PDAs and other very personal interactions - they were clearly in agreement with each other as to what was and was not within their comfort/propriety zones...other than Josh's (production driven, of course - but did he really have to go along with it?) prying questions about their sex life, they seemed to handle things well, and Christian was man enough (are you listening Josh, Veeral) to admit those times when his behavior toward Maria was not right

 

....the part I did not like was the attempt to put Christian and Maria on the spot about whether or not the wedding would have happened if the dowry had not been paid...what total IDIOT would think two gypsy teens would come up with something so unbelievably smarmy as to suggest either/or/both would have insisted the wedding go on! Were they not paying attention? The bride and groom hardly knew each other...and paying a dowry is a BIG sign of how much the grooms family values the addition of the bride, and how much the bride's family values herloss as a member of the family...just because they are ultra gender-specific in the who-does-what-and-who-is-in-charge thing, doesn't mean women have no say 'in gypsy culture'. Both Nina and Maria are far too outspoken to ever be mistaken as doormats. Like other posters, I did not see the inclusion of Christian's parents as due to anything other than their ages and earlier information in the series about her parents not wanting to be on camera. I kinda like Michael and Nina - they did grow on me (unlike Josh's nasty, shrew mother). Whether or not I agree with their culture/lifestyle, they all do seem sincere.

 

Josh will always be a total disappointment if only for the fact that he refuses to stand up to his own mother in defense of his wife...I don't think Lisa and her cohort could have been so very gleeful in their criticism/relentless correction of Meghan (whom I dislike so intensely it horrifies me that I am actually defending her) if that was not their actual feelings/attitude....run Meghan run...Josh's bullshit dumping of the sweet tea proves beyond any doubt that he trivializes his wife and sees her as no more than an oversized child who is incapable of acting in her own best interest.

 

Of Ragini and Veeral, I can't decide who I dislike more...his eternal AHA! I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG attitude or the ease with which he throws Ragini under the bus and creates conspiracies to skew things in his own favor (I have an ex-hubs just like that - the operative word being 'ex') or Ragini's total lack of ethics in cheating during a stupid 'Newly Arranged' game and trying to change the meaning of what she did and did not agree to...If she's really THAT quick to cheat (allowances for that being production driven notwithstanding) what the hell are her ethics in the business world? I forget what exactly she does for a living, but I do not believe I would trust her any further than I could throw her with both hands tied firmly behind my back.

 

I don't know if they are planning any followup show on these three couples, but Christian and Maria I would be interested in seeing more of; the others, not so much.

 

If this series has a next season, I really hope they will tried a bit harder to find couples who are truly arranged. Could be we'd have an entirely Gypsy show, but then again, I understand there are, at the very least, some religious sects in the US who practice the same philosophy....it does have potential.

[qtpye]

I was wondering why the heck Veeral and Ragini were on this show.  Many Indians born and raised in the United States do follow a blend of modern and traditional lifestyle choices, but there are still some groups who still do blind arranged marriages.  I thought there are many Indian couples out there that are far more "arranged" then these two.

 

Then I got my answer...they are related to one of the producers and probably fame whores.

[ethalfrida]

I liked Cristian all along and Maria also. The other two couples are annoying and I found their attitudes toward C&M pompous. 

[Sunnyside]

I was saddened how Christian treated Maria, but the reunion episode revealed many things about their culture that explained why no affection was seen between them. I was impressed with Christian and Maria for standing firm on the information they'd share and not share. How refreshing was is it to see two very young inexperienced youths school grown adults on character.

I don't judge C&Ms culture and I'm not mad at the parents traveling and showing up at the end of the dinner. I think that was acceptable that the only attended the end.

I especially liked the moment Christian quickly blurted to Maria "I'm sorry!" when he viewed their clip of his appalling rude unacceptable treatment toward her. No one at any age goes into a marriage perfect. An appology never erases the wrong done, but it is the process toward character when it's honest.

I wonder if Josh ever said that to Meghan without the underlying thought that she should just grow up, get over it and be disciplined like him and the rest of the world.

I wonder if we all saw ourselves in a clip of our worse behaviors with the rest of the world watching us....hmmm....would we just defend our actions get angry or laugh it off? Or, be quick to apologize or forgive.....hmmm.

If anything should birth from this season, I would like to see how Christian and Maria are doing. I'd also like to see Veerel's sister host more couples.

[mojito]

I was thinking about a scorecard for the couples. On a scale from -2 to +2, the higher numbers meaning "performance on this show improved my opinion of the character", I scored this:

 

Christian:  +1 (before: -2)

Maria:  +2 (before +1)

Nina: +2 (before 1)

Michael: +2 (before 1)

Payel (Veeral's sister): +2 (before -1)

Veeral: +1 (before 0)

Ragini:  -2 (before 0)

Josh: -1 (before 0)

Meghan: 0 (before -1)

 

 

The biting nails was also the answer for Ragini's worst habit that Veeral wrote down. Maria did have the same answer for Christian and her guess for herself was cutting her cuticles - a lot of nail related issues with these folks!

 

The men were only asked two questions and worst habit was not one of them, at least in my recording of this "couples meet" show:  The women were asked about the worst habit. The men were asked "Our marriage would be perfect if my wife and I could agree on _____". Ragini was eliminated for cheating and showed no answer. The other question was about the percentage of housework the wife did. As for the Christian and Maria barely being 18, Maria just celebrated her 18th birthday during filming.

 

I liked Maria turning to Ragini and Veeral and saying something about how they had lived with each other and didn't know each other and saying something similar to Josh and Meghan. She's got some spunk. 

[The Evil One]

Ah, mojito, I watched it on the FYI app, so the epsiodes might have been different in their editing. They definitely showed more questions on mine.

[Jess]

I still think Christian is a little shit, and he has a lot of growing up to do, but I think the dinner party (and the unseen clips episode) did a nice job of humanizing him. I liked that he and Maria won the game. I also never noticed the women wearing skirts all the time! They don't have the same set of modesty rules as, for example, the Duggars, so their clothing always seemed very modern (probably becasue it is off the rack). 

 

I didn't have a problem with Christian's parents being there either. Like others said, they were probably the most involved of any parents on the show, so it was nice to see them again. It also gives me hope for C/M. It's always been very evident to me that his parents have a true partnership (and friendship!) with clearly defined roles and expectations that are in line with their belief system. They have mutual respect and admiration for each other, and are really great role models for C/M. Let's hope that Christian continues to be self-aware and improves his behavior towards Maria. 

 

The other couples: zzzzzzz. I hope that next season (if there is a next season) they do a better job of finding actual arranged marriages. Is it true that Ragini/Veeral's relatives are somehow involved with the show? If so, talk about a conflict of interest! Well, at least they didn't pull any punches -- Ragini definitely didn't get a good edit.

[edra]

The unseen clips helped Christian, but did the opposite for Ragini. Ragini not only tried to cheat during the game, but even tried to feed Veeral lines to say, during his 'Talking Head' sessions. Meghan needs to work on her insecurities. She always puts her body/herself down, despite Josh telling her he loves her, she makes him happy, etc.

 

ps. Christian and Maria's - I love you to each other after their wedding ceremony was cute, I wonder why the editors chose to portray only the negatives. Perhaps, if they had shown a more balanced view, they wouldn't have lost a lot of the audience?

[Rahul]

Finally got a chance to catch the last couple of episodes. The original airing turned out to be the Married at First Sight reunion show.

I think episode 10, "Re-Arranged" was actually more enjoyable than its predecessor where the couples met.

 

Can someone please tell Maria that there is no such word as "nervousing?!" The gypsy grammar (or lack there of) was really starting to annoy me considering these people were all born in the US. Thankfully I will never have to hear her use the word nervous as a transitive verb again.

 

Well, Christian (especially) and Maria certainly grew in my estimation during this episode....especially since there were several times when they seemed to be the only 'adults' in the room...I would LOVE to see a sort of 'year later after Arranged' follow-up that would show Maria having a job

 

I would love to see a 20 year follow up to this show with a bald Christian--or one featuring one with male pattern baldness like his father--though I suspect Christian's preoccupation with his hair would cause him to do a Trump-style comb over if that were ever the case.

 

I was wondering why the heck Veeral and Ragini were on this show.  Many Indians born and raised in the United States do follow a blend of modern and traditional lifestyle choices, but there are still some groups who still do blind arranged marriages.  I thought there are many Indian couples out there that are far more "arranged" then these two.

 

Then I got my answer...they are related to one of the producers and probably fame whores.

 

Are you speculating there is a family connection or do you know something I don't?

 

I agree that Ragini and Veeral shouldn't have been featured on this show, since they were not truly arranged. It would have been awesome to see an actual arranged couple, though. In the Re-Arranged episode Ragini's dad mentioned that he took out some space in the matrimonial section of India Abroad. There are plenty of Indian married couples who meet that way or through a website like shaadi.com. Heck--one of my second cousins in India just got married a weeks ago to a girl that his parents found on one of those websites. If this show returns for another season I hope that is what we see.

 

Speaking of, I remember my house received a few long distance calls from India from from families of prospective brides when I was a freshman in college. I had come home for fall break and word had somehow spread trans-continentaly that I was now 18 and premed at an Ivy league university. Thankfully, my mom shut that shit down immediately.  We were both astounded how these people could even be considering marriage to a college freshman. Its remarkable how quickly word of an eligible bride or groom spreads within the Indian community!

 

I felt bad for Veeral when Ragini not only outed him for being formerly overweight but then supplied a photo as evidence. I suspected he used to be heavier from his appearance, but still...there was no need to humiliate him. Veeral has such a sweet and upbeat demeanor that is rare to find in an American male his age. I even warmed up to his sister Payel who I previously thought was a nasty piece of work, the way she kept jabbing at Ragini about her inability to cook and so on. It must have all been an act for the cameras.

 

I wish Josh had asked Veeral why he doesn't practice medicine. He probably did but it wasn't shown. I think Meghan looked better in the self-filmed footage without the ridiculous blonde extensions she sported the entire season.

Edited June 30, 2015 by Rahul

[qtpye]

Are you speculating there is a family connection or do you know something I don't?

 

 

Pure speculation on my part.  I just do not think it is a coincidence that Veeral's sister hosted the couples meet dinner and it was filmed on their home turf.. I certainly could be wrong.

 

I agree with most everything you said.

 

I think the show missed a golden opportunity to explore the link between Indian and Gypsy cultures.  It is not often talked about and it was hinted on by the sister's husband. 

Edited July 1, 2015 by qtpye