Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Moose135]

58 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

The golf thing is my way of wanting a real life confetti shower. I did all that work, so how about it translating to something like getting better at something athletic?

Because golf, like other physical activities, requires a certain set of skills. You can get into shape, work out, run, lift weights, whatever, but unless you work on the specific skills needed for golf - you stance, swing, etc., they won't markedly improve just because you are in better shape.  On the other hand, being in better shape overall will allow you to work on the golf-specific skills you need.

Edited July 19, 2016 by Moose135

[JTMacc99]

Stupid golf.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I am deeply mourning the loss of cheese and ice cream, but especially cheese. I LOVE cheese. I ate cream cheese on everything. I love the sharpest cheddar. Yes, I want shaved parmesan, and keep shaving until your wrist aches.

I'm fine with with soy milk and almond milk in coffee and cereal, but nothing replaces my beloved cheeses and sour cream.

You might be pleased to know that Ben & Jerry's has a dairy-free selection. Also, the brand Tofutti has really good sour cream and cream cheese substitutes.

I too was a cheese addict; the only time I didn't require it with my food was if I was having sushi. But I have actually found three easy dairy-free macaroni and cheese recipes that I make all the time. I brought one kind to a family finction full of people who think veganism is weird, yet they almost ate the entire damn tray of mac & "cheese" muffins before I got any for myself. Same with the hot faux-cheese artichoke dip. 

[BooksRule]

Here's my peeve for today (and I know it's a common one):  I was driving back to work from lunch today and got behind a guy who was driving about 18-20 in a 40 MPH zone.  He would speed up a little, then put on his brakes to slow down a little, then repeat over and over.  I didn't tailgate, because I was afraid that he might just hit his brakes and stop short (and I don't usually tailgate), but I was getting a little aggravated because I needed to get back to work.  Then I saw him lift up both of his hands to rest them on the steering wheel and saw that he was busy texting.  Grrrrr!  I let it go on for several blocks before I blew my horn--four times (which he could hear) and yelled--in time with the horn blowing--Get!  Off!  Your!  Phone! (which he couldn't hear because the windows were up, but it made me feel better).  I'm not a road rage person, and don't usually do things like that (because you don't know what the other person will do), but I had had it with this guy.  (He put on his turn signal and turned off at the next intersection, which was about a block away from where I turned off.)  

ETA:  I wonder if he was looking for Pokemon?

Someone above mentioned their hatred of humidity.  Me, too!  It's like walking around with a hot, damp towel draped over you.

Edited July 19, 2016 by BooksRule

[Bastet]

Quote

Someone above mentioned their hatred of humidity.  Me, too!

This speaks to what kind of mood I'm in today: I read humidity as humanity.

[BooksRule]

Quote

I read humidity as humanity.

No, no hatred of humanity here.  At least not right now.

[bilgistic]

3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

You might be pleased to know that Ben & Jerry's has a dairy-free selection. Also, the brand Tofutti has really good sour cream and cream cheese substitutes.

I too was a cheese addict; the only time I didn't require it with my food was if I was having sushi. But I have actually found three easy dairy-free macaroni and cheese recipes that I make all the time. I brought one kind to a family finction full of people who think veganism is weird, yet they almost ate the entire damn tray of mac & "cheese" muffins before I got any for myself. Same with the hot faux-cheese artichoke dip. 

I will pay you to make me any of those things.

[auntlada]

1 hour ago, BooksRule said:

Here's my peeve for today (and I know it's a common one):  I was driving back to work from lunch today and got behind a guy who was driving about 18-20 in a 40 MPH zone.  He would speed up a little, then put on his brakes to slow down a little, then repeat over and over.  I didn't tailgate, because I was afraid that he might just hit his brakes and stop short (and I don't usually tailgate), but I was getting a little aggravated because I needed to get back to work.  Then I saw him lift up both of his hands to rest them on the steering wheel and saw that he was busy texting.  Grrrrr!  I let it go on for several blocks before I blew my horn--four times (which he could hear) and yelled--in time with the horn blowing--Get!  Off!  Your!  Phone! (which he couldn't hear because the windows were up, but it made me feel better).  I'm not a road rage person, and don't usually do things like that (because you don't know what the other person will do), but I had had it with this guy.  (He put on his turn signal and turned off at the next intersection, which was about a block away from where I turned off.)

I would have been seriously tempted to call the police on him if it were here. They probably wouldn't get there in time, but it would be worth the effort. I don't know if texting while driving is against the law in other places, though.

[TattleTeeny]

Haha, I am actually a kitchen novice; when I look up recipes, I put the word "easy" first. And when I decided to go vegan, I made a stop at vegetarian (that part was super-easy) first...basically just for the sole purpose giving myself time to find adequate cheese replacements. That part was admittedly hard because CHEESE! But I also figured I'd better either learn to make a few things or go hungry (or broke).

If you want, I'll PM you recipes that I believe to be the best cheese impostors. 

[bilgistic]

I've been a vegetarian half my life, but I hate cooking and have always been a dairy monster. Now that my body has decided it's not going to let me have any dairy anymore, half of my food intake is gone (not really half--like 2/5), and I am sad. So sad.

[Bastet]

I would be sad, too, bilgistic.  I'm an omnivore (with a set of rules on how the animals to become my dinner must be raised and slaughtered; a personal code for the ethical consumption of meat), and would be quite bummed if circumstances forced me to go vegetarian.  Vegan, though, I can't even fathom, largely because of dairy.  I have yet to consume a faux cheese that didn't make me angry.

[backformore]

10 hours ago, lordonia said:

I've always taken exception to that hoary chestnut of inspirational messages: You Can Do Anything If You Set Your Mind To It.

YES!  that one drives me crazy.  we all have our physical and mental strengths and weaknesses.  I have good math ability.  If I WANTED to be a mathematician, (I don't want to)  I could have done that.  That part of my brain works well.   But my brain doesn't "do"  foreign languages.  I tried and tried, but to no avail.  High school French was a struggle for me, no matter how much I studied. 

When people say you can do anything if you set your mind to it, I always respond "no, I could never be a professional basketball player."  I don't have the body, the height, the coordination.  No matter what, it never would have happened.  I have actually had people argue with that. 

Edited July 20, 2016 by backformore

[magicdog]

Quote

Now that my body has decided it's not going to let me have any dairy anymore, half of my food intake is gone (not really half--like 2/5), and I am sad. So sad.

Have you tried raw milk and raw cheese?  I've heard many people who were "lactose intolerant" able to digest raw dairy.  This is a good place to find info.

 This is a good place to  find it in your area.

 

I love raw cheese from this place.

Edited July 20, 2016 by magicdog

[ABay]

I'm sure I brought this one up before but it is evergreen: if you don't like a show and have nothing but negative shit to say all the damn time, stop watching the fucking show. Jeez.

Edited July 20, 2016 by ABay

[ZaldamoWilder]

22 hours ago, lordonia said:

I sympathize with your frustration.

I've always taken exception to that hoary chestnut of inspirational messages: You Can Do Anything If You Set Your Mind To It.

No! You can't! I would love to be able to sing, even in a community glee-club kind of way, but no amount of training or practice will make my vocal cords into something they're not. We've seen many people on Dancing With The Stars who, despite practicing for hours a day, can barely manage a box step. Hundreds of thousands of kids play sports and dream of becoming professionals, but only a fraction of a percentage of them do. I could never be a mathematician no matter how hard I studied. Jeb Bush will never be President. People have physical and mental limitations, dammit!

I'm all for people breaking through and overcoming obstacles, duh. The recent review here of the ad for the Paralympic Games was very inspiring and moving, but can even those determined athletic strivers do anything in their lives? No! Stop saying that.

Does anyone else hear Ethel Merman right now? Lol.

forumfish I feel for you.  Can you give her the glare of life when you and mom go back? At the very least can you ask her to validate your parking, what she did is stupid, lazy and highly inconsiderate.

My peeve is also medical.  My daughter's been having headaches and insomnia that coincide with the start of a new medicine she's on.   On the phone with her doctor.  Doc is all judgey and goes:  so you think they headaches and sleeplessness are attributable to the medicine?  Look, everybody can have a bad day.  It's hot, I'm sure she's busy, she's a real person, who is herself a mom, so there's a whole world that exists outside this phone call.  But A, the kidlet's on the phone so she can describe symptoms herself and B, suit up and leave your shit at the door, my kid's in pain and I'm asking you for help, like you know it says to do in all the commercials.   I take a beat then say, as I said to Sherri (her nurse), I don't know that they're linked, I'm - she cuts me off and goes - it's highly unlikely that it's the medicine.  I say again, as I told Sherri, this is what she's experiencing, symptoms aren't normal for her and they began, coincidentally, with the beginning of this prescription.  Ok it's not the medicine, what do you suggest I do for her.   Do ya'll know this bitch sighed?  Like in our ear, she sighed.   I didn't pull her out of surgery, I called her office, described the problems to Sherri and she called me back.   Where o' where am I ever gonna find another doctor....in Manhattan.  Lol.   In the meantime, migraines and inability to stay in deep sleep - any suggestions?

p.s. I'm pretty sure I got the idea from this thread but I got the kid some "student driver, please be patient" stickers for the car so thanks to whomever said that.   Gets maniacs right up offa her.

[Bastet]

forumfish, vent away.  Being a caregiver for one person is a frequently exhausting and stressful existence, and you're taking care of a whole family.  It's not a pity party to express the frustration that inevitably arises! 

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I've always taken exception to that hoary chestnut of inspirational messages: You Can Do Anything If You Set Your Mind To It.

In certain contexts, it bugs me too! For example, I wish I'd gone to school for criminology instead of English lit/visual arts, and I also wish I'd actually earned a degree (I quit school for financial reasons). If I mention this in a conversation, people who mean well always say, "But you can always go back! It's not impossible!" No, it's not, and I truly applaud those who do something like that, but I can't see turning my whole life upside-down in my mid-40s--and probably going broke in the process--to start all over. I have a very decent salary that allowed me to buy a home on my own a few years ago, enough left over for clothes and fun things and "extras" (and stupid annoying household emergencies), and a fairly stable and easy (if not a bit boring at times, haha!) day-to-day routine and existence. I know saying "It's too late" sounds totally doom-and-gloom, but I don't mean it that way at all! I just mean that it is a nice idea but not one I am willing to give up everything else to pursue. Yes, it makes me say "what if...?" sometimes, but so what? 

[Qoass]

My response to the "you can do anything" chestnut is, "So I can still be the world's youngest Olympic gold medal gymnast?".  As I am over 14, that's an impossibility even for those of us with just average math skills.  On the other hand, my dad is always quick to temper any comments about his kids' strengths, I guess in order to keep us from being disappointed or conceited or something.  It's a little sad.

[Quof]

Quote

No, it's not, and I truly applaud those who do something like that, but I can't see turning my whole life upside-down in my mid-40s--and probably going broke in the process--to start all over.

A friend moaned "But if I go back to school, I'll be 40 when I graduate." 

I asked "How old will you be if you didn't go back to school?"

[JTMacc99]

10 hours ago, forumfish said:

In other news, welcome to my nervous breakdown! I hope nobody thinks I am making light of mental health issues -- I'm not -- I really did have a mini meltdown this evening, because it's just been one of those weeks. I'm pretty much doing the same caregiving duties that I did 3.5 years ago, when Mom first came home from the stroke rehab hospital. I thought I would be better equipped to handle the crap that has gone on this week, but the opposite is true. I think the years of constant stress has taken its toll, and today I kind of reached my limit. And my dad (who has pretty much taken up residence on my last nerve) doesn't seem to realize that sometimes, saying nothing actually is the best option.

My meltdown didn't last too long, because I realized that A) it's not all about me, and B) people are depending on me for dinner, clean clothes, etc. And thus ends the pity party. Thanks for letting me vent!

Pity party my butt. You go right ahead and vent.

Nobody likes that moment when you realize that at 10 PM on a Wednesday night that despite all of your work, that day is ending pretty much the same way (or worse) as that day ended in 2015, in 2013, in 2011.  I try stay out of the liquor cabinet when that happens, and then the next day I try think of all the good things I've accomplished.

[topanga]

10 hours ago, forumfish said:

ZaldamoWilder, I'm sorry to see that about your daughter -- that doc and nurse should know that even if only .05% of the people using a drug have a certain reaction, who's to say your daughter is not one of those? I hope she feels better soon, and can sleep (I have had insomnia for something like 15 years, and it sucks).

Update on my previous peeve -- I called the lab this afternoon and they still had not received the order from the doc, so I called the doctor's office and explained everything. I was polite and the receptionist offered a pretty-sincere-sounding apology. And then when she said "I'll fax the order right now," I said, "the lab is near your office, why don't I come pick up the order on our way to the lab, so we don't have to rely on electronics?" (Why yes, I did major in passive-agressiveness, how can you tell?)

I stopped by the office and picked up the lab order and updated the receptionist on Mom's condition, then I took Mom to the lab. Bloodwork completed. We'll have to make a doctor's appointment to get the results and further prescriptions because that's how her Medicare policy works.

In other news, welcome to my nervous breakdown! I hope nobody thinks I am making light of mental health issues -- I'm not -- I really did have a mini meltdown this evening, because it's just been one of those weeks. I'm pretty much doing the same caregiving duties that I did 3.5 years ago, when Mom first came home from the stroke rehab hospital. I thought I would be better equipped to handle the crap that has gone on this week, but the opposite is true. I think the years of constant stress has taken its toll, and today I kind of reached my limit. And my dad (who has pretty much taken up residence on my last nerve) doesn't seem to realize that sometimes, saying nothing actually is the best option.

My meltdown didn't last too long, because I realized that A) it's not all about me, and B) people are depending on me for dinner, clean clothes, etc. And thus ends the pity party. Thanks for letting me vent!

You have every right to be stressed and frustrated--meltdowns are to be expected. I'm impressed that you're able to make light of your situation!

Are you the only person helping your mom? Is your dad physically able to help? What about siblings? And most states have resources available for the elderly and/or disabled. When I was able to get someone to help with my mother's laundry, housekeeping, and nursing needs, it felt like a great big weight was being lifted off my shoulders. I'm still her primary caretaker, but now I don't feel like I'm doing everything by myself. And that helps--both physically and emotionally. 

[backformore]

2 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

In certain contexts, it bugs me too! For example, I wish I'd gone to school for criminology instead of English lit/visual arts, and I also wish I'd actually earned a degree (I quit school for financial reasons). If I mention this in a conversation, people who mean well always say, "But you can always go back! It's not impossible!" No, it's not, and I truly applaud those who do something like that, but I can't see turning my whole life upside-down in my mid-40s--and probably going broke in the process--to start all over. I

I hear that!  I sometimes have regrets that I dropped out of a doctoral program.  I had very good reasons (sick child)  at the time, but I sometimes wonder "what if?"   But if I say it out loud, people will tell me "it's never too late. "   Yeah, sometimes it IS too late.  Too late to stop working at a paying job and spending all your savings on tuition, when the pay-off isn't all that stupendous. 
There are a lot of times in our lives when we make a choice, and then later will wonder what would have happened if we had taken a different path.  It's OK to look back and speculate, without people telling you to fix it. 

[bilgistic]

I wish so much that I hadn't gone to college. I went because I was a "smart" kid and did well in school, and 25 years ago, you listened to your guidance counselor when she said this was the track you were on. And when I didn't have anyone to model on except for what I didn't want to be, I listened. Now I'm 41, still have about $20,000 in student loans (and I went to a state school in the 1990s), and due largely to mental health issues, have been through bankruptcy and foreclosure (not at the same time, even!). I have always tried to do the "right" things following the prescribed path. I should've gone to cosmetology classes in high school like I wanted, and graduated high school with a career almost ready for me. Yes, it's too late to do it now. I can't afford to just drop out of my life and spend a year training for a new career. I really want out of my current job situation, but it's just not that easy.

I'll always battle depression (I've had it my entire life), and that will always hold me back in corporate America. I'm not allowed the time I need to deal with it. I have to slog through and I'm marked down as being "negative". Had I been able to shape my own workplace and hours, it would've been easier, I think. I'll never know now.

I have a 17-year-old niece who is smart and I'm sure she's on the college track. I just want to tell her to be whatever and whoever she wants to be.

Edited July 21, 2016 by bilgistic

[janestclair]

16 hours ago, forumfish said:

In other news, welcome to my nervous breakdown! I hope nobody thinks I am making light of mental health issues -- I'm not -- I really did have a mini meltdown this evening, because it's just been one of those weeks. I'm pretty much doing the same caregiving duties that I did 3.5 years ago, when Mom first came home from the stroke rehab hospital. I thought I would be better equipped to handle the crap that has gone on this week, but the opposite is true. I think the years of constant stress has taken its toll, and today I kind of reached my limit. And my dad (who has pretty much taken up residence on my last nerve) doesn't seem to realize that sometimes, saying nothing actually is the best option.

My meltdown didn't last too long, because I realized that A) it's not all about me, and B) people are depending on me for dinner, clean clothes, etc. And thus ends the pity party. Thanks for letting me vent!

I feel you. I take care of both my parents too, and am disabled myself.  It gets to be a lot sometimes, and i end up screaming at the both of them, which is not good.  Mom has dementia, kidney failure, and mobility issues. Dad is just old.  He helps, or tries to, but when it comes to stuff like paying bills and keeping meds sorted, he's useless.  My sister has her head too far up her own ass to help, so it's on me. Yesterday, she made a comment about me being tired all the time. Gee...I wonder why?  

To top it all of, two of my best friends both had surgery this week, so I've been stressed beyond belief.  One was comparatively minor, and she's doing ok, but the other one? I'm basically shitting myself right now.  I don't have any appendages left to cross.  I'm attempting to distract myself.

Bilgistic, college is not for everyone, and as a high school teacher, I wish we would stop pushing it on kids who would clearly be better off in a trade or in the military.  We need welders and electricians, and they make tons of money, but no one pushes those fields.  It's all about college.  I can't tell you how many of my kids say they want to be a pharmacist, but they really don't like chemistry.  Ummmm...

[bilgistic]

TV/movie commenter peeve I've been reminded of twice in the past few weeks: "So-and-so doesn't know how to smoke/didn't learn how to smoke for the role". The comment is especially dumb considering one of the actors about whom it was written is a smoker in real life. Secondly, it makes the commenter sound like the school bully.

Edited July 24, 2016 by bilgistic

[zxy556575]

You know when Canadian actors are pretending not to be but let slip the occasional "aboot"? It happened twice last week in different shows and I don't get why no one on the set noticed, or maybe they did and didn't care. It jars me out of the scene.

[Quof]

We don't say "aboot".  Really.

[janestclair]

It's not aboot, but there is something about the way they say it that is noticeable.  It's like the o is more rounded, somehow.  I'm not a linguist, so I don't know what the technical term is. Every time I'm in Canada, even if it's for a few days, I start to pick  up the accent a bit without meaning to.  It doesn't show up until I'm back home, which makes things interesting when combined with a very minimal New Jersey accent.  

[ABay]

It's not like boot, it's like boat. 

Edited July 24, 2016 by ABay

[TattleTeeny]

On July 21, 2016 at 1:32 PM, bilgistic said:

I wish so much that I hadn't gone to college. I went because I was a "smart" kid and did well in school, and 25 years ago, you listened to your guidance counselor when she said this was the track you were on. And when I didn't have anyone to model on except for what I didn't want to be, I listened. Now I'm 41, still have about $20,000 in student loans (and I went to a state school in the 1990s), and due largely to mental health issues, have been through bankruptcy and foreclosure (not at the same time, even!). I have always tried to do the "right" things following the prescribed path. I should've gone to cosmetology classes in high school like I wanted, and graduated high school with a career almost ready for me. Yes, it's too late to do it now. I can't afford to just drop out of my life and spend a year training for a new career. I really want out of my current job situation, but it's just not that easy.

I'll always battle depression (I've had it my entire life), and that will always hold me back in corporate America. I'm not allowed the time I need to deal with it. I have to slog through and I'm marked down as being "negative". Had I been able to shape my own workplace and hours, it would've been easier, I think. I'll never know now.

I have a 17-year-old niece who is smart and I'm sure she's on the college track. I just want to tell her to be whatever and whoever she wants to be.

It's definitely not for everyone, man; it just happens that it was good for me--high IQ (so I was told, at least--there are many times I seem to prove otherwise) but with just OK, nothing-special grades and SAT scores in high school (with the exception of art and English--those were always good). Plus, I was a chronic class-cutter and entire-day ditcher! But once I got to college, not only did I love the entire atmosphere and freedom, but it was dean's list nonstop. Much less boring and much more inspirational.

Further, IMO, it actually seems kind of nutty to "make" an 18-year-old only two months out of the primary-education system to commit immediately to what is supposed to be a big (and expensive!) series of life-shaping decisions! Considering the intoxicating (figuratively and often literally) environment of freedom as compared to high school, the fact that minds change A LOT between age 18 and, say, the mid-20s, the need for money even though it's tough to have both a full course load and a job, and that 18 is really only just out of damn puberty, it seems to me that maybe people should wait until age 20 to start college! I for one would probably have made a lot fewer starts and stops, and a lot more solid decisions about what I was looking to get out of my education...and all in a much more economical way.

Edited July 24, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Bastet]

That's why I wish the "gap year" was embraced here, as it is in so many other countries, instead of looked down upon or feared.

Even though I was only 17 when I started college and only 21 when I graduated, I don't know that I'd do it any differently if I had a time machine.  But maybe, and, regardless of what I or any other given individual would do, it would benefit everyone if taking a year or two to work and travel between high school and college was recognized as a good option.

Being a second-career student made law school a really different experience for me than if I'd gone directly from college, and I'm so thankful for that.  I just had a different mindset in general, and knew for sure I was working towards what I wanted to do for the rest of my professional life.  I never had to put forth more than minimal effort to sail through high school and college with honors, so law school was the first time I buckled down and really worked at an education.  Graduating at the top of my class under those circumstances meant infinitely more.

Not to mention the fact having worked for nearly 10 years in between degrees meant I didn't have to go into debt.  The freedom that granted me -- to work for course credit rather than pay those two summmers, meaning for my final semester I needed to take only one class and work an internship two days a week and was thus thoroughly rested as I headed into bar prep after graduation, and, especially, to go directly into public interest law without having to make myself miserable at a big firm for several years first -- was HUGE.

Edited July 25, 2016 by Bastet

[TattleTeeny]

Yes. A gap year would offer a fighting start, some savings, and a toe-dip into the "real" world that would really help a lot of people, and also probably instill an appreciation for education that might be missing right out of high school. Age 18 now is so different than it was for our parents--18 is a kid!

Edited July 25, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[slf]

On 7/20/2016 at 0:39 PM, ZaldamoWilder said:

My peeve is also medical.  My daughter's been having headaches and insomnia that coincide with the start of a new medicine she's on.   On the phone with her doctor.  Doc is all judgey and goes:  so you think they headaches and sleeplessness are attributable to the medicine?  Look, everybody can have a bad day.  It's hot, I'm sure she's busy, she's a real person, who is herself a mom, so there's a whole world that exists outside this phone call.  But A, the kidlet's on the phone so she can describe symptoms herself and B, suit up and leave your shit at the door, my kid's in pain and I'm asking you for help, like you know it says to do in all the commercials.   I take a beat then say, as I said to Sherri (her nurse), I don't know that they're linked, I'm - she cuts me off and goes - it's highly unlikely that it's the medicine.  I say again, as I told Sherri, this is what she's experiencing, symptoms aren't normal for her and they began, coincidentally, with the beginning of this prescription.  Ok it's not the medicine, what do you suggest I do for her.   Do ya'll know this bitch sighed?  Like in our ear, she sighed.   I didn't pull her out of surgery, I called her office, described the problems to Sherri and she called me back.   Where o' where am I ever gonna find another doctor....in Manhattan.  Lol.   In the meantime, migraines and inability to stay in deep sleep - any suggestions?

p.s. I'm pretty sure I got the idea from this thread but I got the kid some "student driver, please be patient" stickers for the car so thanks to whomever said that.   Gets maniacs right up offa her.

I'm so sorry your daughter has been experiencing that; migraines are the worst. That doctor is an asshole. I don't understand why they refuse to acknowledge that some people are more susceptible to side effects (even very rare side effects) or may be having a reaction. Earlier this year I was prescribed Tylenol with Codeine by my dentist and spent most of the night throwing up because the dentist kept swearing it was just my easily triggered gag reflex. It was not. Vomiting is a side effect of the medicine and the dentist had given me the wrong dosage. I don't know why he didn't just own to that instead of encouraging me to continue taking medicine that was doing more harm than good (and that I ultimately didn't even need). Thankfully I was able to get a second opinion. I hope you can find a better doctor for your daughter. 

[backformore]

7 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Further, IMO, it actually seems kind of nutty to "make" an 18-year-old only two months out of the primary-education system to commit immediately to what is supposed to be a big (and expensive!) series of life-shaping decisions! Considering the intoxicating (figuratively and often literally) environment of freedom as compared to high school, the fact that minds change A LOT between age 18 and, say, the mid-20s, the need for money even though it's tough to have both a full course load and a job, and that 18 is really only just out of damn puberty, it seems to me that maybe people should wait until age 20 to start college! I for one would probably have made a lot fewer starts and stops, and a lot more solid decisions about what I was looking to get out of my education...and all in a much more economical way.

But really, you don't have to decide at 18 what you're going to do with your life.   You start out in one direction, and along the way you take detours, and sometimes find a different direction.  I worked for a community college for a while, and there was a statistic often repeated about the very low percentage of people who end up with a degree in what they started college thinking they wanted.   Why?  Because taking classes, meeting people, going to lectures, opens so many doors into places you never knew existed.   If I look at all the people in my family with college degrees, three generations, not one of them ended up working in the field that they thought they wanted when they started college -  and I don't think any of them ended up with a degree in what they started with. 

Yes, college is expensive.  But there are state colleges, community colleges, work study programs, loans, grants, etc.  It's not impossible.  I helped both of my kids with college, but they also took out loans and worked part time jobs to fund their education.   They didn't have cars until they could buy their own, because we decided it was more important to help with college.  Both of them went to state universities with ideas of what they wanted to study, and each one changed their minds several times along the way - to get degrees in fields they are passionate about, but never knew existed until they stumbled on them at school. 

For me, I went to a private university, starting at age 17, on an academic scholarship.  As long as I maintained a high (3.25 out of 4)  average, my scholarship was renewed.  I worked full time nights to pay expenses because my parents did not help at all.(of course, it helped that I  grew up in a big city and could commute to school my first two years)   And I have two degrees in a field that is as different as you can get from my original major.  I LOOOOOOVED college.  I loved being in an atmosphere of learning and thinking and sharing ideas, reading about things I never knew about, delving into subjects to learn them in depth, researching, writing.    I found my passion while taking elective classes.  Yeah, you change your mind a lot between age 18 and 21, but sometimes college is a great place to be when you are changing it. 

It's not the same for everyone.  If people want to do something else for a while and figure out what to do, that's great.  I don't think parents should push kids toward college if it's not what they want.  Because college is really only a great experience if you're there because YOU want to be there.

Edited July 25, 2016 by backformore

[Sandman87]

Big peeve this summer: Idiots with remote controlled drones interfering with fire-fighting operations in the forested and rural areas around here. We've hit the hot part of summer (we don't call it "hot" until it's over 100 degrees), and the grass is so dry outside that it crunches when you walk on it, so wildfires are a freakin' big deal. A fire breaks out, the fire suppression tanker planes go out to start dumping water and retardant...and then they have to ground all the planes because some mouth-breather with an RC toy wanted to get some aerial pictures. And they do have to ground the planes until the airspace is clear, because a low-flying fully loaded tanker that loses an engine from hitting one of those things is something that no one wants to even think about.  Grrrr...off with their heads!

[ABay]

College saved my life. I went from skipping days at high school and seriously thinking about suicide week after miserable week, to thriving at a large state university. It was like being freed from captivity, not only an end to the hell permeating my life for 4 years, but entering a whole new world with new people and new ideas and where I was valued. I don't think I'd be alive today if I hadn't gone.

[Quof]

Quote

Even though I was only 17 when I started college and only 21 when I graduated, I don't know that I'd do it any differently if I had a time machine

I started law school at 20, paid my own way through my entire education (poor as a church mouse while I did it, working full time during spring break while my classmates went south, but graduated with practically no student debt).   Wish I had actually taken a Gap Year.  

I had a neighbour who started med school at 18.  Yes, you read that right. She started undergrad at 15, living at home, attending a small university where her parents taught.  At age 18, in her first week of med school, she had never been away from home and had never done laundry. She ruined her entire wardrobe the first time she threw it all in the washing machine, on hot.  I often wondered if she actually stuck it out to graduation.

[magicdog]

My latest pet peeve:  Tattoos.

Mainly, it's tattoos that are exposed on the job.  In every job I'd ever worked at, the rules were tattoos were allowed as long as they weren't visible while wearing your office attire or uniform.  Now, no matter where I go, from supermarkets, to the gas company to doctors' offices, I see tattoos spilling out everywhere!  Especially those script tattoos on peoples' necks!  I'm sorry but I find this terribly unsightly and unprofessional.

Don't even get me started on foot tattoos!!  GAH!!!

[topanga]

3 hours ago, ABay said:

 

College saved my life. I went from skipping days at high school and seriously thinking about suicide week after miserable week, to thriving at a large state university. It was like being freed from captivity, not only an end to the hell permeating my life for 4 years, but entering a whole new world with new people and new ideas and where I was valued. I don't think I'd be alive today if I hadn't gone.

 

10 hours ago, backformore said:

But really, you don't have to decide at 18 what you're going to do with your life.   You start out in one direction, and along the way you take detours, and sometimes find a different direction.  I worked for a community college for a while, and there was a statistic often repeated about the very low percentage of people who end up with a degree in what they started college thinking they wanted.   Why?  Because taking classes, meeting people, going to lectures, opens so many doors into places you never knew existed.   If I look at all the people in my family with college degrees, three generations, not one of them ended up working in the field that they thought they wanted when they started college -  and I don't think any of them ended up with a degree in what they started with. 

Yes, college is expensive.  But there are state colleges, community colleges, work study programs, loans, grants, etc.  It's not impossible.  I helped both of my kids with college, but they also took out loans and worked part time jobs to fund their education.   They didn't have cars until they could buy their own, because we decided it was more important to help with college.  Both of them went to state universities with ideas of what they wanted to study, and each one changed their minds several times along the way - to get degrees in fields they are passionate about, but never knew existed until they stumbled on them at school. 

Thanks for your testimony, ABay. I agree that college isn't a panacea. Yes, you will graduate with some debt, and you're not guaranteed a job as soon as you graduate. But the average money making potential is higher for college graduates vs. h.s. graduates. 

Another issue is that most people with H.S. diplomas (or less), will end up doing some type of physical or manual labor that increases their risk for work-related injuries and death. Some studies rate the risk of chronic low back pain as high as 55% in people with a HS diploma or less vs. 11% of college-educated people. When someone does get hurt, either at work or elsewhere, it's easier to return to an office (or other white -collar) job vs. a job that requires manual labor. Trust me, every day I see intelligent patients who didn't go to college for whatever reason, and they face lifelong physical, financial, and psychological losses after a serious injury. 

[TattleTeeny]

8 hours ago, magicdog said:

My latest pet peeve:  Tattoos.

Mainly, it's tattoos that are exposed on the job.  In every job I'd ever worked at, the rules were tattoos were allowed as long as they weren't visible while wearing your office attire or uniform.  Now, no matter where I go, from supermarkets, to the gas company to doctors' offices, I see tattoos spilling out everywhere!  Especially those script tattoos on peoples' necks!  I'm sorry but I find this terribly unsightly and unprofessional.

Don't even get me started on foot tattoos!!  GAH!!!

Well, I mean, I have upwards of 20--many visible, as the majority are on my arms--and it really doesn't stop me from being a professional in my field, which I perform in a regular old boring office setting. Of course, one person's unsightly is another's "it makes absolutely not one bit of difference"--and I am grateful that the latter applies to the execs at my job. I find lots of things unsightly, even some tattoos (maybe my peeve is poorly executed ink) but I don't think I've ever equated something cosmetic to a lack of professionalism (well, except for maybe the tattooist who makes a poorly executed tattoo, haha!). It's some color on skin, that's all--doesn't stop me from being excellent at my job.

Edited July 26, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[auntlada]

I don't care for tattoos, but I think what the tattoo depicts might have a bearing on whether or not it's unprofessional. I mean, if it's a tattoo of a naked woman, I'd consider that unprofessional.

[auntlada]

6 hours ago, topanga said:

 

Thanks for your testimony, ABay. I agree that college isn't a panacea. Yes, you will graduate with some debt, and you're not guaranteed a job as soon as you graduate. But the average money making potential is higher for college graduates vs. h.s. graduates. 

Another issue is that most people with H.S. diplomas (or less), will end up doing some type of physical or manual labor that increases their risk for work-related injuries and death. Some studies rate the risk of chronic low back pain as high as 55% in people with a HS diploma or less vs. 11% of college-educated people. When someone does get hurt, either at work or elsewhere, it's easier to return to an office (or other white -collar) job vs. a job that requires manual labor. Trust me, every day I see intelligent patients who didn't go to college for whatever reason, and they face lifelong physical, financial, and psychological losses after a serious injury. 

There are options between just high school and college, though, and they are good options. Sure, some of them mean physical labor, but not all, and some people want to do physical labor, which can pay pretty good, especially if you have certifications in your field. And thank goodness some people want to do that work because I would suck at it. Give me a lower paying office job every time.

Studies in those fields before college can also help you pay for college. My brother-in-law got welding and some kinds of electrical work certifications while he was in high school, and during college, he worked for an electric company over Christmas and summer breaks and made lots of money. Our state has a system of career tech schools that high school students can attend free for half a school day if their local district is part of the tech center's district.

[Quof]

I don't understand adults wearing Kool-Aid colour hair.  We used to do it when we were kids, with actual Kool-Aid, but we were kids.  Most of the time, it's not even an attractive colour - shiny, healthy looking.  A young woman working in my coffee shop has dyed her hair a horrible moss green.  I want to ask her why she chooses to look like she rolled her head in dirt. But I don't.  

[TattleTeeny]

39 minutes ago, auntlada said:

I don't care for tattoos, but I think what the tattoo depicts might have a bearing on whether or not it's unprofessional. I mean, if it's a tattoo of a naked woman, I'd consider that unprofessional.

Oh, probably--same for racist symbolism and/or remarks, obviously! I suppose there are some things that would at least make someone question a person's character or values, but that's really a matter for the employer, IMO, rather than the consumer.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I just have to think, when I see a set of full sleeves or neck tattoos, how is that going to look in 50 years, or if the person has a massive change in weight? Again, that's the designer in me. I don't quite understand the Kool Aid hair on full grown women, but it is easier to undo than permanent body ink.  :)

Haha, the answer to the 50 years question for many of us is, "who cares?" Shit's gonna be all over the place, I imagine, so it might as well be colorful. Maybe I'll even creak my way over to my old tattooist and have him touch them up with his rickety old hands (probably a terrible plan--forgive me, I'm old and confused in this scenario!). As for the hair, what good is being an adult if you can't do what you want? And my blond is exactly as authentic as my Rockabilly Blue (the gray strands, unfortunately, are realer than I care to admit).

Edited July 26, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[BooksRule]

I have no personal desire to get a tattoo, but I have no problem with others who want them. I'm a librarian and I've seen some book/library-related tattoos that were absolutely stunning.   However, I don't understand the thought process behind people who get those really amateurish looking ones.  Some that I've seen look like a second-grader doodled them.  

[TattleTeeny]

Ohhhh, I do have a tattoo peeve! When someone sees mine (they are very good!) and then shows me theirs and it's very bad! I have no poker face and I don't know what to do! Also, the grabbers--I feel peeved by the grabbers.

[Bastet]

Quote

Haha, the answer to the 50 years question for many of us is, "who cares?"

Indeed; skin sags and wrinkles whether it's inked or not.  One of my tattoos is on my stomach and, yeah, that's bigger than it was 20-some years ago.  The fact that a tattoo has stretched along with the rest is something that never crosses my mind.

I think certain symbols/images would be inappropriate to display (whether via tattoo, t-shirt, or anything else) when working with the public, but just the fact that a tattoo, any tattoo, is visible is a non-issue to me.  My other tattoo is on my ankle, so I can hide it in court by wearing a suit with pants rather than a skirt.  But, really, the type of judge who's going to get his boxers in a twist over a tattoo is often the same type who's going to huff at a woman wearing pants rather than a skirt.  He can get over it.  He's probably already grumbling because I don't wear make-up, anyway.

Edited July 26, 2016 by Bastet

[Sandman87]

I don't have a tattoo yet, but I do have one in mind for when I've got some cash to spare to get it done right. On my upper arm, so it's not visible while wearing workplace clothes.

[backformore]

5 hours ago, Quof said:

I don't understand adults wearing Kool-Aid colour hair.  We used to do it when we were kids, with actual Kool-Aid, but we were kids.  Most of the time, it's not even an attractive colour - shiny, healthy looking.  A young woman working in my coffee shop has dyed her hair a horrible moss green.  I want to ask her why she chooses to look like she rolled her head in dirt. But I don't.  

I think some people who color their hair red, magenta, pink, blue, purple, etc, look fine.  And sometimes, when they dye the layer underneath their regular-colored hair, it can be very striking.   It makes me wish I were young enough to get away with it.  (I'm not, I color my hair to hide the  grey).   BUT - I agree with you on the green.   It freaks me out.  It looks like grass, or moss.  

The other thing (Grossness alert!) many years ago, a dog I had got sick with a weird illness, and her fur, which was white, started turning bright green.  It was the toxins in her blood that were seeping through - some kind of sepsis, that was leaking out because she had a fatal illness and her organs were shutting down.  SO - when I see someone with green hair, that's what I think of. 

I don't have tattoos  I have scars, from surgeries.   I have one long scar on my arm from having a cancer removed.  I joke about getting a tattoo to turn it into a long-stemmed rose, but I'd never do it. I can't make the kind of commitment that a tattoo requires.  Plus I don't like pain.

Edited July 26, 2016 by backformore