Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Bastet]

The characters on Designing Women had a great discussion about that in one episode.

[Prairie Fire]

I'm all for dressing how you want and being body confident. It's the age thing that bothers me, especially when I quickly notice a middle aged man staring. It's bothersome and makes my face hot.

 

This reminds me of a true story! I was in Tempe, AZ earlier this year near the ASU campus, and I saw this girl walking down Mill Ave. Really tall (probably 5'10") REALLY skinny, tan, long straight blonde-ish hair, wearing a Captain America T-shirt and those super-short perfectly bleached white shorts that are only flattering on girls who match the above description. Needless to say, her rear end attracted plenty of attention.

 

At one point, she walks right by this sidewalk cafe and a thirty-something couple having lunch, the guy facing in the direction she's walking, the woman facing the other way. The guy made the mistake of following her passing derriere with his eyes a little too long.

 

At which point his female companion turned around, saw what was going on, picked up the pitcher of water sitting on a neighboring table, pours the WHOLE thing into his lap, and storms out without a word!

 

Gotta love instant karma.

[Quof]

One pet peeve of mine is headlines in the newspaper or TV news that say "Grandmother Opens New Business on Main Street." or Grandmother Elected to Town Council" or "Grandmother Hikes the Appalachian Trail," when you never see headlines saying "Grandfather Opens  New Business on Main Street" or "Grandfather Hikes the Appalachian Trail"

That's because women are always defined by their family status.  A young woman was murdered in our community recently, and every news headline says "mother killed" or "missing mother's body found".   Such a headline about my life would read "childless spinster," instead of "adventurous, accomplished professional". 

[Maharincess]

Since this is the pet peeve thread, I have a peeve. twice on TV shows recently, a woman was complimented this way "I can't believe you're a grandma! You look so young! doesn't she look young for a GRANDMA?"

No offense to anyone who is a young grandma, but it is not in itself an accomplishment. Get pregnant in high school, have your kid also get pregnant (or get a girl pregnant) in high school, and you can be a 30 year old grandma! so if a 30 year old grandma looks younger than, say a 60 year old grandma - so what?

I'm a "young" grandma. I don't think anybody thinks being a young grandma is an "accomplishment" but it's not something to be scorned either. Shit happens.

I had my daughter when I was a teenager, thankfully my daughter didn't follow in my teen mom footsteps but that still makes me a young grandma. I will be 50 in 8 days and have a 7 year old granddaughter and a 3 year old grandson.

Like I said, I don't consider it to be an accomplishment but I don't think I should be ashamed of it either.

This reminds me of a true story! I was in Tempe, AZ earlier this year near the ASU campus, and I saw this girl walking down Mill Ave. Really tall (probably 5'10") REALLY skinny, tan, long straight blonde-ish hair, wearing a Captain America T-shirt and those super-short perfectly bleached white shorts that are only flattering on girls who match the above description. Needless to say, her rear end attracted plenty of attention.

At one point, she walks right by this sidewalk cafe and a thirty-something couple having lunch, the guy facing in the direction she's walking, the woman facing the other way. The guy made the mistake of following her passing derriere with his eyes a little too long.

At which point his female companion turned around, saw what was going on, picked up the pitcher of water sitting on a neighboring table, pours the WHOLE thing into his lap, and storms out without a word!

Gotta love instant karma.

See, to me that's not Karma, it's raging insecurity. I don't care if my husband looks at other women. If I see a woman I know he'd think is attractive I'll point her out to him. I even bought him a lap dance on his birthday. If you're secure in your relationship, things like that don't matter.

[backformore]

I'm a "young" grandma. I don't think anybody thinks being a young grandma is an "accomplishment" but it's not something to be scorned either. Shit happens.

I had my daughter when I was a teenager, thankfully my daughter didn't follow in my teen mom footsteps but that still makes me a young grandma. I will be 50 in 8 days and have a 7 year old granddaughter and a 3 year old grandson.

Like I said, I don't consider it to be an accomplishment but I don't think I should be ashamed of it either.

 

Oh I don't think it's anything to be scorned.  I just don't like when people make a big deal about being YOUNG and a grandparent.  Like Oh my god!  you look so young for a grandparent!  

I'm also not considering 50 as young for being a grandparent - that's probably closer to "normal"  than me.  

I mean more when people are in their 30's and it's treated like a big deal to look so young with grandchildren. 

[Prairie Fire]

See, to me that's not Karma, it's raging insecurity. I don't care if my husband looks at other women. If I see a woman I know he'd think is attractive I'll point her out to him. I even bought him a lap dance on his birthday. If you're secure in your relationship, things like that don't matter.

 

Sure, but if you're on a date (which is what I kinda got the sense was going on)......not cool, dude, not cool. Especially since she was talking while he got all distracted by Tall White Shorts Chick.

[Maharincess]

Ah, ok. I got ya now backformore.

I'm almost 50 now but I was 43 when I became a grandma. I actually like being a younger grandma. I have so much fun with the kids and before my accident I had the energy to run around and chase them and play. We have a blast together.

Their other grandma is in her late 60s and she isn't much fun for them. I don't know if that's her age or just her personality but she's stern with the kids. They always tell me I'm their favorite grandma and I make damn sure they know that their other grandma loves them just like I do and they are to never tell her I'm their favorite.

Edited July 15, 2015 by Maharincess

[harrie]

I don't think age is the only factor involved, as I'm sure one could find a younger grandmother (or just person) whose personality is a bite in the ass; but I can see the upside to being young enough to enjoy your grandchildren -- for one thing, fewer post-play aches and pains (hopefully).

[bilgistic]

That's because women are always defined by their family status. A young woman was murdered in our community recently, and every news headline says "mother killed" or "missing mother's body found". Such a headline about my life would read "childless spinster," instead of "adventurous, accomplished professional".

For me: "40-year-old single crazy cat lady found walking aimlessly through downtown. Cats home sleeping. News at 11."

[auntlada]

Ah, ok. I got ya now backformore.

I'm almost 50 now but I was 43 when I became a grandma. I actually like being a younger grandma. I have so much fun with the kids and before my accident I had the energy to run around and chase them and play. We have a blast together.

Their other grandma is in her late 60s and she isn't much fun for them. I don't know if that's her age or just her personality but she's stern with the kids. They always tell me I'm their favorite grandma and I make damn sure they know that their other grandma loves them just like I do and they are to never tell her I'm their favorite.

 

You're a good grandmother.

 

I'm always afraid everyone thinks I'm my son's grandmother. I was 43 when he was born. My hair is going gray, and I'm not coloring it because that's too much work, money and time. Today, one of his daycare classmates asked if I was his mommy or grandma, but she's only about 3, so she probably thinks we all look old. Also, she didn't seem to understand that "mother" and "mommy" are the same thing. I don't want to be critical of a 3-year-old (her parents, though, are fair game, but I've never met them), but shouldn't you know that mother and mommy are the same by then? Of course, my son has always used bigger words for his age than most children (based on other people's reactions to him) and he's working on learning to spell, so I think I don't know what is normal for each age. We've always read a lot to him, though, and talk normally to him, not using baby talk. I still remember the day we discussed the concept of malice aforethought. He was in trouble at the time.

[Qoass]

"Bitter introvert died some time last week.  Nobody noticed at the time.  She probably had it coming."

 

Film at eleven.

[DeLurker]

This is one of the reasons my favorite mode of travel is alone.  But I also find it easy to say, when traveling with others (which I also enjoy), "No thanks; have fun, but I'm going to do X and will meet up with you later" when I want to diverge. 

 

Don't let them ruin your relaxation!  You don't ask them to do less than they want to do, and they don't ask you to do more than you want to do.  Everyone is happy.  You don't need to spend every minute of the vacation together to enjoy each other.

 

I hope you have a great time.

I ditto this approach.  My family generally goes to visit relatives for vacations where we get together for breakfast and drink too much coffee, play cards, keep them company on whatever errands they need to do, meander around the area, get together again/eat/drink/rinse/repeat.  My SIL has the concept that you go on vacation and do stuff - see sights, visit museums, go to shows, amusement parks...We're just different - go on vacation, bring a good book, join them for activities that you find interesting, stay put when you don't, and enjoy yourself without feeling self conscious about your choices! 

 

My family - my kids, parents, several brothers and their families - rent a beach house every couple of years for a week.  During the day, people tend to do what they please - kayaking, shopping, going to the beach, general lazing around....but we spend out dinner and evening time together.  We generally eat at the house taking turns cooking, watch a movie together every night and play a board game or cards after.  We also had one season of The Carol Burnett Show that we all watched together (2 ep per night).  It was a hit for everyone and the ages ran from 5 - 75.

 

Maybe some similar activities could work for you and your family.

 

This reminds me of a true story! I was in Tempe, AZ earlier this year near the ASU campus, and I saw this girl walking down Mill Ave. Really tall (probably 5'10") REALLY skinny, tan, long straight blonde-ish hair, wearing a Captain America T-shirt and those super-short perfectly bleached white shorts that are only flattering on girls who match the above description. Needless to say, her rear end attracted plenty of attention.

 

At one point, she walks right by this sidewalk cafe and a thirty-something couple having lunch, the guy facing in the direction she's walking, the woman facing the other way. The guy made the mistake of following her passing derriere with his eyes a little too long.

 

At which point his female companion turned around, saw what was going on, picked up the pitcher of water sitting on a neighboring table, pours the WHOLE thing into his lap, and storms out without a word!

 

Gotta love instant karma.

While it would have been amusing to see, I don't think a guy deserves some form of payback for, well, being a guy.  Yes, he apparently lacks discretion in a huge way and it might have embarassed her, but her reaction seems extreme (barring additional information about their relationship).  Granted, my view might be a bit skewed from the average female's because I grew up with 4 older brothers.

[bilgistic]

"Bitter introvert died some time last week.  Nobody noticed at the time.  She probably had it coming."

 

Film at eleven.

This is my fear. I will die in my apartment and no one will notice until I start to smell. The cats will snack on me, which I'm not really bothered by, oddly enough. I'm happy to serve them in death just as I do in life.

 

My 88-year-old maternal grandmother lives alone and is still kicking ass and taking names. She gets her workout on at Curves and drives a pickup truck to haul mulch back from the hardware store to her garden. May I be so fortunate to be like her when/if I reach her age.

[JTMacc99]

See, to me that's not Karma, it's raging insecurity. I don't care if my husband looks at other women. If I see a woman I know he'd think is attractive I'll point her out to him. I even bought him a lap dance on his birthday. If you're secure in your relationship, things like that don't matter.

The pitcher of water is pretty extreme. I think raging insecurity is one possibility. Another is that guy had a lot of bad behavior in his ledger leading up to that moment.

 

I think trust is earned.  I also think that it's really, really difficult to be in a relationship where you do everything to earn trust and yet still don't. Like pitcher of water in the crotch difficult.  But if I were a betting man, and you were giving me even money (which is a statement that indicates that I am indeed a betting man), I would put my money on that guy earned that pitcher of water.

[backformore]

The pitcher of water is pretty extreme. I think raging insecurity is one possibility. Another is that guy had a lot of bad behavior in his ledger leading up to that moment.

 

I think trust is earned.  I also think that it's really, really difficult to be in a relationship where you do everything to earn trust and yet still don't. Like pitcher of water in the crotch difficult.  But if I were a betting man, and you were giving me even money (which is a statement that indicates that I am indeed a betting man), I would put my money on that guy earned that pitcher of water.

yes.  and I think it depends on the couple and the situation.   Lunch -  were they having a serious talk about their relationship, and he chose the wrong moment to look at another woman?  There are times when a guy would deserve the pitcher of water in his lap, and times  when it's not a big deal.   Certainly if I'm TALKING to a guy and his eyes are on someone else, I'm going to say or do SOMETHING.  

[bilgistic]

My obit will be She died before everyone in the county saw her in her house gown. Haha. My sons get irked that I don't care who sees me in it. As soon as I am home, the clothes come off, the gowns put on. I just walked out to get my dog away from the phone man at the road, bad accident, in my gown. My son came in as I was walking back down the drive. Said, getting closer to your big prize? Because I tell them there is a big payout when I finally reach everyone seeing me.

"House gown" made me laugh as I'm in a meeting! My grandmother wears "housecoats", and they look so amazingly comfortable. I really need to ask her where she gets them. They are made of thin cotton and snap in front.

As soon as I get home, the clothes come off--I can't get my bra off fast enough--and a big, ratty t-shirt goes on. It's been too hot for pants this spring and summer, so I'm just walking around in my drawers and a tee. It's not cute. The cats couldn't care less, though.

[topanga]

 

My 88-year-old maternal grandmother lives alone and is still kicking ass and taking names. She gets her workout on at Curves and drives a pickup truck to haul mulch back from the hardware store to her garden. May I be so fortunate to be like her when/if I reach her age.

I admire older people like that so much.

 

Today's Introvert Pet Peeve: Office Lunches. While I like the people I work with, my job involves almost constant interaction with the public. So I talk to co-workers and patients all day, and I need those 30-45 minutes to get away from the office and read, take a nap, or just eat lunch by myself. Anything that gives me a break from talking to people.

 

So when we have a special lunch for someone's birthday or have a going away party, I don't want to be a scrooge and not participate. But I wish I could say a quick "Happy Birthday/Happy Trails/Hope the Marriage Lasts/Hope your baby isn't ugly" before leaving for my usual lunch break. But the few times I tried it, my co-workers bugged me all afternoon about where I was during the party. And then I felt guilty for skipping out.

[Bastet]

I worked in an office where the whole staff (about 10 people) ate lunch together every day, at a big table in the office kitchen.  I really liked my colleagues, and we had great conversations at that table (that perfect balance of weighty subjects and frivolity), but most days I'd hang out for about half an hour and then go take a walk. I got the sense a couple people thought it was rude I wouldn't hang out the whole time, but come on -- every day?! 

[backformore]

I admire older people like that so much.

 

Today's Introvert Pet Peeve: Office Lunches. While I like the people I work with, my job involves almost constant interaction with the public. So I talk to co-workers and patients all day, and I need those 30-45 minutes to get away from the office and read, take a nap, or just eat lunch by myself. Anything that gives me a break from talking to people.

 

So when we have a special lunch for someone's birthday or have a going away party, I don't want to be a scrooge and not participate. But I wish I could say a quick "Happy Birthday/Happy Trails/Hope the Marriage Lasts/Hope your baby isn't ugly" before leaving for my usual lunch break. But the few times I tried it, my co-workers bugged me all afternoon about where I was during the party. And then I felt guilty for skipping out.

I hear you!   And the same goes for going out AFTER work for drinks or whatever.   I have a family.  after work I want to go home.  If I want drinks, I'll drink with my husband, or my friends.  I spend all day with work people - at the end of the day, I'm done. 

[auntlada]

I admire older people like that so much.

 

Today's Introvert Pet Peeve: Office Lunches. While I like the people I work with, my job involves almost constant interaction with the public. So I talk to co-workers and patients all day, and I need those 30-45 minutes to get away from the office and read, take a nap, or just eat lunch by myself. Anything that gives me a break from talking to people.

 

So when we have a special lunch for someone's birthday or have a going away party, I don't want to be a scrooge and not participate. But I wish I could say a quick "Happy Birthday/Happy Trails/Hope the Marriage Lasts/Hope your baby isn't ugly" before leaving for my usual lunch break. But the few times I tried it, my co-workers bugged me all afternoon about where I was during the party. And then I felt guilty for skipping out.

Plan emergency trips to the store for stuff you have to have that day. Say congrats and you wish youbcould stay but you've really got to get whatever done and that's the only time you can do it. Do it quick, then have lunch.

[auntlada]

A weird peeve: My father died four years ago today, two months before my only child, his only grandson, was born. Hormones and tears everywhere for months. I still get pretty emotional about it, but I don't like to share my emotions -- with pretty much anyone, really. I am very introverted that way and don't see a need to change and open up. That's not the peeve, just the back story.

Today, of course, both my brothers are posting pics and memorials of Dad all over Facebook. I am not because I don't do that. It always feels like a bid for attention to me. It probably isn't in their cases, but it still feels like people post those things so other people will say how sorry they feel. Sympathy is fine, but I'd rather be left alone. But now I have to see their stuff and look like the unfeeling, heartless daughter because I don't say anything. It just pisses me off. I don't really care what they think of me, except my mother, and I think she understands I can't talk because I feel too much, but it stil pisses me off. Especially because I feel like I do feel it more than them. That probably isn't true, but it feels true.

[bilgistic]

I maintain that Facebook is just like high school. People think they win some imaginary contest for racking up the most "friends" and "likes". Narcissism and egotism is rampant on Facebook, and it's more than I can handle. My mother and I have been hurt repeatedly over things one of my sisters has posted. It's absolutely the worst and stupidest thing in which I've ever taken part. I don't think you need worry about not posting, because people are usually too wrapped up in whatever brilliant diatribe they've posted and how many likes they are getting. That's the very central tenet of Facebook--LIKE MEEEEEE!!! UGH! Your dad isn't on Facebook to respond to their posts; they and their "friends" are. It is COMPLETELY a bid for attention.

I follow businesses, bands and TV shows I like, but by and large, I don't participate in it the way it is meant to be used. I have 14 "friends", and I'm related to 11 of them. My boss friend-requested me, and I denied it. Boundaries!

Y'all reminded me of this: My boss wants to "reward" our team of three with a "team-building day", so just kill me now. He's brought it up a few times. I told him if it's a reward, I want a day off. He wants to take us to the rafting center. NO. I AM NOT outdoorsy nor wearing less clothing around my boss and coworker and getting soaked and/or doing zip lines or high ropes courses or whatever. They are buds and I'm the grumpy feminist who "complains just for the sake of complaining" (what my boss says when I question anything that might go against conservative, rich, white male values in any way).

I don't dislike my job or the people with whom I work, but, like others here, I don't want to hang out with them outside of work. We aren't friends. We work together. They said I have a "rigid definition of the word 'friend'". After sticking my neck out in the past for coworkers that I thought were friends and finding myself alone when it came down to it, I don't trust people and I don't go out of my way. I'm friendLY and I'll be myself and joke with you, but we're not going out for drinks. We have one thing in common: where we work.

Edited July 17, 2015 by bilgistic

[bilgistic]

...I wish I could say a quick "Happy Birthday/Happy Trails/Hope the Marriage Lasts/Hope your baby isn't ugly"...

This made me laugh!

[Sweets McGee]

A weird peeve: My father died four years ago today, two months before my only child, his only grandson, was born. Hormones and tears everywhere for months. I still get pretty emotional about it, but I don't like to share my emotions -- with pretty much anyone, really. I am very introverted that way and don't see a need to change and open up. That's not the peeve, just the back story.

Today, of course, both my brothers are posting pics and memorials of Dad all over Facebook. I am not because I don't do that. It always feels like a bid for attention to me. It probably isn't in their cases, but it still feels like people post those things so other people will say how sorry they feel. Sympathy is fine, but I'd rather be left alone. But now I have to see their stuff and look like the unfeeling, heartless daughter because I don't say anything. It just pisses me off. I don't really care what they think of me, except my mother, and I think she understands I can't talk because I feel too much, but it stil pisses me off. Especially because I feel like I do feel it more than them. That probably isn't true, but it feels true.

I SO get this. I don't care for Facebook posts memorializing loved ones because it feels like nothing but attention seeking and rarely comes off as heartfelt as those posting would like it to.

 

I also dislike the Facebook memories, where you can repost things from years ago. My sister-in-law posts something every day through this memory thing, and 9 times out of 10 it's something like, "Look how much my kids have grown!!!" Yeah, that's what kids do...

[Betweenyouandme]

The baby popping out looking not so cute is a real fear ;)

My current pet peeve is when people park their cars with their bumpers stuck out too far in parking garage spaces. Pull all the way up! It can be a very tight squeeze driving past otherwise.

[Prairie Fire]

All the stuff about getting shade from co-workers for not being social enough....reminds me of a convo I had with a friend the other day about how extroversion just seems to be favored in a lot of American workplaces. This includes a LOT of stuff that has nothing to do with your ability to do the job, such as: being really outgoing/vibrant/always "on", being really dominant in conversations, wanting to socialize with your co-workers for hours on end, and so forth. (As an introvert, this is on my pet peeve list)

 

It seems like there have been a lot of articles lately about introversion in the workplace. The good news is that this will make people more aware of what introversion really is - a personality type, not a defect.

 

There's also a GREAT book: "Quiet" by Susan Cain. Anyone who's an introvert should read it. It's that good.

[auntlada]

I SO get this. I don't care for Facebook posts memorializing loved ones because it feels like nothing but attention seeking and rarely comes off as heartfelt as those posting would like it to.

 

I also dislike the Facebook memories, where you can repost things from years ago. My sister-in-law posts something every day through this memory thing, and 9 times out of 10 it's something like, "Look how much my kids have grown!!!" Yeah, that's what kids do...

Whenever someone tells us our son is getting so big, my husband says, "That's what happens when you feed them."

[bilgistic]

This is a sweeping generalization, but the people who SELL and make deals are usually extroverted. That's what I see in my industry (commercial real estate). I'm introverted and never want to be in the spotlight; I like working behind the scenes. Of course, this guarantees I'll never be the millionaire my boss is, but as they say, the world needs ditch diggers, too.

[auntlada]

There's also a GREAT book: "Quiet" by Susan Cain. Anyone who's an introvert should read it. It's that good.

 

I read that book (I think based on the recommendation of someone here) and really liked it. Now I want to read a book mentioned in it about introverts in evangelical churches, which let me tell you, isn't an easy thing to be. There are days when I've thought that if one more person says to me, "I know you don't like hugs, but I'm going to hug you anyway," I was just going to slug someone, which really isn't the thing to do at church. They mostly don't do that anymore, but that's largely because I had to drop out of the things I was doing for a bit, and now I don't know a lot of people. And no one asks me to do anything anymore, which I blame in part on my introversion -- or rather on their perception of me because of my introversion. If you don't put yourself out there, people overlook you and don't ask you to help with things or sometimes even to participate in things, which is too bad because people like me are very good (if I do say so myself) at the tasks the other people often aren't -- like organizing or even pointing out where something is going to go wrong.

 

I do have to say, though, that they almost never listen to me when I tell them where it's going to go wrong. And then it does go wrong in that exact spot, and it's all I can do not to say, "I told you so," because they never remember that anyone even predicted it. I often feel like Cassandra. I'll suggest something, and no one wants to do it or believes that is the solution to the issue they're discussing, and then six months later, someone else will make that exact suggestion, and everyone loves it. It makes me crazy.

 

 

This is a sweeping generalization, but the people who SELL and make deals are usually extroverted. That's what I see in my industry (commercial real estate). I'm introverted and never want to be in the spotlight; I like working behind the scenes. Of course, this guarantees I'll never be the millionaire my boss is, but as they say, the world needs ditch diggers, too.

 

If you go into the right field, you don't have to deal with very many people and you can still make a lot of money. You just have to have the right skills -- and often be willing to do icky things, like dealing with backed-up sewer lines.

[Prairie Fire]

One day, in a meeting, someone suggested we divide our department according to our "types" and I pointed out that it would be discrimatory: "If you walked into a meeting and were told to stand on one side of the room based on your religion, you'd threaten a lawsuit. How is that different than singling me out because I'm an introvert?"

 

And that brings me to what I was about to say in my last post - the bad news is that some of the more inept managers (think Steve Carell's character in "The Office") will read these articles and then proceed to do stuff like the above, basically using that info to further divide the workplace instead of finding a way to get the best out of everybody.

 

The additional bad news is that all these articles may just be trying to make introverts feel better in a business climate that remains largely stacked against them.

[Maharincess]

"House gown" made me laugh as I'm in a meeting! My grandmother wears "housecoats", and they look so amazingly comfortable. I really need to ask her where she gets them. They are made of thin cotton and snap in front.

As soon as I get home, the clothes come off--I can't get my bra off fast enough--and a big, ratty t-shirt goes on. It's been too hot for pants this spring and summer, so I'm just walking around in my drawers and a tee. It's not cute. The cats couldn't care less, though.

That cracked me up. You know what's also not cute? Me in nothing but underwear and slippers shuffling around the house with my walker. I'm sure it's quite a sight.

It gets so hot in my house that once my front door closes my clothes are gone. There are so many huge spiders that get into the house that at night, I wear my booty slippers. I refuse to walk around barefoot at night.

All of these work stories make me so happy that when I was able to work, I only worked with dogs. I saw the dog's parents at pick up and drop off and other than that, it was me and the doggies.

I loved hanging out and having lunch with them.

I agree about people posting about deceased loved ones on Facebook. You shouldn't feel bad for not doing it. I never do.

Bilgistic, another way that Facebook is like high school are the postings like this...."Some people need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. I'm going to be deleting people". Or some crap like that. I barely go on my FB and my few friends wouldn't post stuff like that but I've seen them many times.

The only reason to post something like that is to cause drama.

Edited July 17, 2015 by Maharincess

[Quof]

That's the very central tenet of Facebook--LIKE MEEEEEE!!! UGH! Your dad isn't on Facebook to respond to their posts; they and their "friends" are. It is COMPLETELY a bid for attention.

 

It's Grief Porn, like when people set up a Facebook page to memorialize a dead person and post things like "Happy Birthday" to the deceased.  It's all about getting attention; let's have a contest over who is the best mourner, who loved and misses the deceased most.  

[applecrisp]

And that brings me to what I was about to say in my last post - the bad news is that some of the more inept managers (think Steve Carell's character in "The Office") will read these articles and then proceed to do stuff like the above, basically using that info to further divide the workplace instead of finding a way to get the best out of everybody.

 

The additional bad news is that all these articles may just be trying to make introverts feel better in a business climate that remains largely stacked against them.

I could totally see that on The Office a show I really enjoyed.  I don't mind being alone even for a couple of days.  I am okay with me.  There are people who can not be alone.  I find that sad. It's nice to know there are a lot more introverts out there.  For years I felt like a loser for not having exciting weekend plans or great vacations.

 

I really felt pressured by it. Now I just don't care.  I would rather be at home with a beloved book or movie than getting "dolled up" and trying to have a conversation in a loud place.  Also the need to be on the go, busy,bust busy and then recount my day to some  poor schlub(hope I used that word right) who goes into detail about the day.  Why would I care?

[Qoass]

I prefer to avoid social media but I'm getting the impression that it is becoming the go-to for all things including the announcement of deaths.  I find this tacky at best and downright unsettling at worst.

 

To link into a few comments up-thread, I get peeved when I read or hear about new office models that sell workspaces without walls as a way to encourage a "collaborative environment".  Not everybody's job can be done by committee-- some of us need quiet and a non-stimulating view in order to complete our tasks accurately.  Personally I think it's just bullshit for, "it's cheaper to push the desks into a circle."

[Prairie Fire]

I prefer to avoid social media but I'm getting the impression that it is becoming the go-to for all things including the announcement of deaths.  I find this tacky at best and downright unsettling at worst.

 

To link into a few comments up-thread, I get peeved when I read or hear about new office models that sell workspaces without walls as a way to encourage a "collaborative environment".  Not everybody's job can be done by committee-- some of us need quiet and a non-stimulating view in order to complete our tasks accurately.  Personally I think it's just bullshit for, "it's cheaper to push the desks into a circle."

 

Those offices without walls are becoming much, much more common, and it's an alarming trend. You'd think more managers would be reading the numerous articles about introverts I mentioned earlier and realizing it's a bad idea - but instead, they're paying more attention to weird theories that "no walls" leads to more open exchange of ideas.

[DeLurker]

3. Michael Scott is the best boss. 

Agreed, typed as I drink from my World's Best Boss coffee mug.

 

Social media is a fascinating, bewildering look into group think and other people's outlook.  I log into facebook under my Dad's account every couple of weeks to amaze myself at what seemingly normal people willingly post.  Sometimes you find really interesting, compelling stuff (in a good way) and other posts read like a DSM checklist.

[Prairie Fire]

Also, here's a new pet peeve - people who pull up in front of an apartment building and sit in their car with the engine loudly running for a half hour or more.

 

Or worse, honk their horn to alert the person they're picking up.

[magicdog]

[When people] honk their horn to alert the person they're picking up.

 

 

Table for two?  I find that obnoxious too - plus it's the height of rudeness for the date.   Wouldn't it make more sense to call or text your arrival?

 

 

I get peeved when I read or hear about new office models that sell workspaces without walls as a way to encourage a "collaborative environment".  Not everybody's job can be done by committee-- some of us need quiet and a non-stimulating view in order to complete our tasks accurately.  Personally I think it's just bullshit for, "it's cheaper to push the desks into a circle."

 

Those offices without walls are becoming much, much more common, and it's an alarming trend

 

 

It's beyond trend.  Schools are like this too.  For the past 15 years or so, classrooms have kids split up into groups to "problem solve" together.    For the peeve record, I hate it too.  Too bad we can't all choose to work in soundproof rooms.

Edited July 17, 2015 by magicdog

[FormerMod-a1]

I'm an extrovert and I hate the lack of cube walls.  I do get energized by being with people, but that's not conducive to all work and sometimes I just need a break from people too.  We do technically have cube walls, but only on 3 sides and they are about 4 feet tall, maybe.  If you are seated can see the top of the persons head next to you.  If you stand, you can see everything.  I miss the 5-6 foot tall cube walls and the partial 4th wall that all my other jobs had.

[bmasters9]

Table for two?  I find that obnoxious too - plus it's the height of rudeness for the date.   Wouldn't it make more sense to call or text your arrival?

I find that it does, quite honestly. What if your date is rushing to get ready and is already nervous about the date? Someone who honks might put that date even more on edge.

[Prairie Fire]

A minor clarification: I don't think the "pulling in front of someone's building and honking" I mentioned is happening when a guy picks up his date (because yah, that would be pretty crappy form). It's more like when guy(s) pick up their friend(s).

 

I remember staying at a friend's place on the northside of Chicago near Wrigley Field and this happened a bunch of times. In one night. I'm guessing it's common in neighborhoods where a bunch of college-aged or 20-something bros live.

[annzeepark914]

Doesn't Home Depot have the "If you need help, push this button" which allows you to call a salesperson?  Or was I in another store when I saw it?  Must admit, I hate hardware stores so I try to avoid them. You Americans don't know the annoyance that is trying to find something in a Canadian Tire store.

@Quof:  I've seen comments similar to yours at other forums from Canadians--especially about customer service/public relations from corporations & the comparison with American companies.  Is this for real?  Also, before we went to Paris for a brief vacation, we kept seeing over & over again warnings to Americans re: customer service in France (vs customer service in the USA). Fortunately, we didn't have any problems while in Paris.  So, are Americans spoiled (PR/customer service-wise)?

[bilgistic]

1. Yes Quof, exactly. My 30 year old niece died about 7 years ago. My best friend said that my sister in law has a mobile tombstone on the back of her car. The In loving memory of my daughter took up the whole back window.

I'm afraid to look up "mobile tombstone". That seems like the most macabre thing ever. I've seen cars with a sort of decal of the deceased's name and date of birth and death on the back window, and I'm just so weirded out by that. What happens when you sell your car?

[Quof]

@Quof:  I've seen comments similar to yours at other forums from Canadians--especially about customer service/public relations from corporations & the comparison with American companies.  Is this for real?

Canadian Tire is the name of an actual chain of stores, not just any old store in Canada that sells tires :  ), and the service is particularly sucktacular. Otherwise, I don't find any difference in service between Canada and the US.

[P2C2E]

My pet peeve of the day...people who try to make it your fault that you can't help them with something. I had a woman at work today who wanted me to do something that I couldn't do. Legally, I could not do what she wanted me to do. So she then launches into all the problems that she is going to have today because I won't do this for her. I don't care, lady! I am not responsible for your poor decisions. It is not my fault that you didn't come prepared. I refuse to feel guilty for doing my job correctly. I offered her several alternatives, but she just left still pissed off and complaining. 

[bilgistic]

I'm sitting in the waiting room at the oil change place and a young mother (I'm calling her that because her kid is with her) is messing with her phone and it keeps dinging VERY LOUDLY. A man at work that just started and sits in the cube next to mine has his phone alerts set to volume: ear-splitting. No one lets their phone out of their sight, so the volume doesn't need to be that loud! Auntie Bilgistic has a headache!

Edited July 18, 2015 by bilgistic

[roseha]

Speaking of loud phones - I have to mention something that's really been bothering me - I have been going around the city for various doctor's appointments and can't believe that I saw a young person last week loudly playing a video on the phone/tablet in the waiting room!   Just what everyone needs, thank you.   And no one at the desk said anything.  I take a bus downtown after another appointment yesterday and another young person is watching another loud video on the tablet, right in the front part of the bus.  Driver says nothing.  Not to mention all the dopes crossing the street reading their phones.  You have no idea how dumb this looks in New York city traffic.

Edited July 19, 2015 by roseha

[annzeepark914]

If I'm sitting in a dr's waiting room, that's because I'm not feeling very well so I don't want to listen to some jerk conducting business on a cellphone.  Go out in the hall, go out to the parking lot to do your cellphone calls and let us feelin' poorly folks try to catch up with People magazine gossip as we patiently await our turn.

[applecrisp]

About waiting rooms, first that is so rude to play a video or music.  They usually have signs, the receptionist should have them step out.  I would rather wait in the main waiting room.  My pet peeve is when they take you back to the room and have you sit in there. It seems like an eternity,  No good magazines and no clock and sometimes in a gown freezing.

 

You are not fooling me doctors.

[bilgistic]

I take the good magazine from the waiting room with me when I'm finally called back, just to wait another 20 minutes.