Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[harrie]

For what it's worth, customer service people have it drilled into them to express empathy for the customer. In some cases it also serves to restate the problem, which can actually be helpful, if only to make sure you're both talking about the same thing.  It sounds stupid, but it happens all the time.  I worked in cable for five years (not even as a CSR)  and have stories.  Bottom line, I guess I'm saying hate the malfunctioning equipment, hate the company providing you service, hate the process, but try not to hate the person on the other end of the phone.  Or do; it's your choice, of course. 

[JTMacc99]

For what it's worth, customer service people have it drilled into them to express empathy for the customer. In some cases it also serves to restate the problem, which can actually be helpful, if only to make sure you're both talking about the same thing.  It sounds stupid, but it happens all the time.  I worked in cable for five years (not even as a CSR)  and have stories.  Bottom line, I guess I'm saying hate the malfunctioning equipment, hate the company providing you service, hate the process, but try not to hate the person on the other end of the phone.  Or do; it's your choice, of course. 

I had the fascinating experience of listening to incoming calls for a couple days, and to actually ride around in the trucks visiting people's homes.  There are an unfortunately high percentage of people who are complete idiots making the phone calls. It's why I learned to have patience for the CSR to go through the "unplug your modem" steps.  (Also because unplugging it sends certain information back through the system that wasn't sent when I did it before they were looking at my account, but mostly because I learned that I'm better off letting them go through their steps.)

 

I do get pretty annoyed when I'm given information I know for a fact isn't true and that the person on the phone shouldn't have said.  But I'll let it slide for that person and if I really need help, I'll call back and escalate. 

Edited July 10, 2015 by JTMacc99

[auntlada]

I am never going to get anything done again, thanks to stewedsquash.

Edited July 10, 2015 by auntlada

[Quof]

Ah, the telephone help line Pet Peeves.  How about when I call, spend several minutes with someone who can't fix my problem, then they transfer me to someone else, and I have to tell the whole story again.   Then that person can't help and I ask for a supervisor, and I have to tell them the whole story.  I've now taken to saying "Before transferring me, I want you to tell them everything we have already done because I'm not telling the story again."

[auntlada]

New pet peeve: Why does everything now have to be a hack? Kitchen hacks, beauty hacks, cleaning hacks, hacks for life. What's wrong with just calling them tips? They aren't hacks, and most -- if not all -- aren't even new. Using baking soda and vinegar to clear a drain isn't a hack. It's just a way to clear a clog.

[Maizie131]

Another scrooge like me! I don't like greeters either (for the reasons you described), but I'll try to be nice if I have time.

 

Speaking of unwelcome friendliness, here's a problem that occurs when I call a customer service number because of problems with my Internet, electricity, bank account, etc. and speak to a real person (for that I'm grateful. Really). When the person taking my call is overly friendly with syrupy-sweet platitudes, it makes my blood boil.  "I'm so sorry you're having problems. It must be really inconvenient for you." I'm all "STFU! Of course it's inconvenient! Just tell me what you're going to do to help my situation!" I don't say that, of course. I try to remain polite, but I find myself becoming very irritable and impatient. Which makes me even madder because I'm usually very nice to service people (waiters, receptionists, etc).

 

Typical conversation with Internet customer service:

--"Topanga, here's something I'd like you to try, please. Will you please unplug your computer's modem then re-plug it? Would that be okay?"

--me (through gritted teeth): "I've been doing that all day. That's why I'm calling you."   

   30 seconds later: "That didn't work. Again. It. Still. Doesn't. Work."

--"I understand, Topanga. That must be really frustrating for you."

me (In my head): "You're really frustrating for me!"

topanga - YES!!!  I have had this EXACT conversation with my internet provider.  PLUS --- 75% of the time, the customer rep I'm talking to is foreign and speaks such broken English I can't understand WHAT the fuck she's saying & I keep interrupting her to say,  "I'm sorry -- I can't understand you."  Then she apologizes again & again & again.  Unfrickinbelievable.  

Edited July 11, 2015 by Maizie131

[applecrisp]

For what it's worth, customer service people have it drilled into them to express empathy for the customer. In some cases it also serves to restate the problem, which can actually be helpful, if only to make sure you're both talking about the same thing.  It sounds stupid, but it happens all the time.  I worked in cable for five years (not even as a CSR)  and have stories.  Bottom line, I guess I'm saying hate the malfunctioning equipment, hate the company providing you service, hate the process, but try not to hate the person on the other end of the phone.  Or do; it's your choice, of course. 

I have been dealing with my internet provider.  They just don't offer high enough speeds.  One guy even suggested i go to the competition (which is a monopoly).  I have a hard time playing you tube and I had just found a good workout.  A guy came and tried to help he was quite friendly.  I found out they had a union so I stayed. Things like that sway me and just the numerous complaints I hear about the other company.

 

There was a lot of frustration on my part and then my anxieties kick in.  I actually like the foreign people a lot and prefer a woman over a man.

 

One time I needed to change my password and it was just not working.  We tried everything and he was getting annoyed with me as I was with him.  We try one last time. I type and say S-a-f-f-i-e, my cat's name.  He said , I thought it was Sassy.  We laughed but I said you owe me an apology for getting so short and he did. He was a good guy.

Edited July 11, 2015 by applecrisp

[bilgistic]

Now we all know applecrisp's password. To Netflix, everyone!

[applecrisp]

Now we all know applecrisp's password. To Netflix, everyone!

You crack me up!

[bubbls]

I worked in retail for years when I was a youngster. People are okay. The Public? A mooing stampeding herd of stupidity.

 

Don't get me started on all the friendly greeting in stores. Home Depot and Lowes are the worst. Every freaking employee you see calls out. It's distracting and annoying and unnecessary. Dear Employee, be there when I need you. Don't give me attitude if I have a question. Otherwise, shut up.

 

And I know it's not really the employee who started this!

 

Another pet peeve is when an employee won't move out of your way. Walmart is THE WORST about this. Herds of customers have to stop what we're doing because the employee certainly isn't giving up their right of way to the aisle. I almost get run over by employee driven push carts almost every time I'm there. But at least they aren't all yelling howdy to me constantly.

Edited July 11, 2015 by bubbls

[backformore]

Chiming in on overly "friendly and helpful"  store employees.  I'm not a big shopper.  But I took a day off yesterday, and spent a couple hours at the mall.   I talk to people at work, all day long.  I appreciate time to myself, even in a crowded mall, if that makes sense.   Yankee candle, Lush cosmetics - small stores, one aisle, if I want help I can find you.  But the "Hi how are you today?" "is there something special I an help you find?"  " have you seen our new line?"  "are you familiar with our products?" take me out of my shopping mode, where I just want to wander, look around, and spend a few bucks on something I see.  But I want to do it quietly, I get into a silent meditative mode, where I just don't want to talk to people any more than I have to.

[harrie]

I worked in retail for years when I was a youngster. People are okay. The Public? A mooing stampeding herd of stupidity.

 

Don't get me started on all the friendly greeting in stores. Home Depot and Lowes are the worst. Every freaking employee you see calls out. It's distracting and annoying and unnecessary. Dear Employee, be there when I need you. Don't give me attitude if I have a question. Otherwise, shut up.

 

Our Home Depot has a greeter, which is fine; but if I need something that is out of stock, can't figure where something is, or have a question, there's nobody within 100 yards.  I'd love for a freakin' HD employee to call out to me, so I could chase him/her down and get some help. 

[Bastet]

There's a terrific local hardware store that has been in the neighborhood since well before I was born, so I've generally shopped there, but I occasionally find myself at Home Depot.  Back in the day, it seemed like Home Depot was for people who really knew what they were doing (while Lowe's seemed to cater to people with pretty basic home improvement skills), so it was nice to shop there.  Now, though, the inventory is still fairly decent, but the knowledge level among employees ... forget it. 

 

The chain supermarkets in my area are among those requiring all employees to effectively act as greeters, so if I'm there at a time where there are a number of workers out and about (stocking the shelves, etc,), it's like running a gauntlet of "Hi, how are you doing today?  Can I help you find anything?"  I'm sure they'd rather shoot themselves, so I'm certainly not going to take it out on them, but it gets old in a hurry.  Do stores really have data showing most customers enjoy this practice?

[Quof]

Peeve of the day - teenage girls. I had errands to run this morning, so spent some time in the local mall.   Why do they all look the same - the long, straight hair, the skinny jeans or leggings, and the skinny, anemic look? I want to say "Eat a sandwich, then maybe you would have the energy to lift your feet instead of scuffing your damned flip flops."

[bmasters9]

Our Home Depot has a greeter, which is fine; but if I need something that is out of stock, can't figure where something is, or have a question, there's nobody within 100 yards.  I'd love for a freakin' HD employee to call out to me, so I could chase him/her down and get some help. 

So I guess what you're saying is, when you need someone, you can never find anyone, but if you don't need anyone, they're all around you. Is that it?

[Quof]

Doesn't Home Depot have the "If you need help, push this button" which allows you to call a salesperson?  Or was I in another store when I saw it?  Must admit, I hate hardware stores so I try to avoid them. You Americans don't know the annoyance that is trying to find something in a Canadian Tire store.

[Quof]

I don't remember it ever being so uniform.  I can't tell you the last time I saw a teen girl's neck, or even shoulders.   Long, stringy hair is not a good look for everyone, yet they all do it. 

[auntlada]

I worked in retail for years when I was a youngster. People are okay. The Public? A mooing stampeding herd of stupidity.

 

Don't get me started on all the friendly greeting in stores. Home Depot and Lowes are the worst. Every freaking employee you see calls out. It's distracting and annoying and unnecessary. Dear Employee, be there when I need you. Don't give me attitude if I have a question. Otherwise, shut up.

 

Our Lowe's doesn't do that. No one ever calls out or says anything to me, and if I want help, I have to track someone down, sometimes walking across the whole store. Even when I'm standing around looking lost and an employee wanders by, I have to run after him (or her, but usually him) to get help.

 

I always say individuals are fine, but I hate people. I worked at a newspaper for almost 20 years and always got handed the calls from stupid people (most of them) because I was the only one who would deal with them and could pretend to be polite. Once we had a call from the mother of an elementary school boy who got in trouble at school for calling a little girl the n-word. She seemed to believe that he got in trouble not because you don't call people that but because he used the incorrect word, as the girl had one black parent and one white parent. She called us to find out what you should call a little girl who has one black parent and one white parent and seemed dissatisfied by my answer, which was, "Her name." I did not say everything I wanted to that woman, but now I have a great story, at least.

[harrie]

So I guess what you're saying is, when you need someone, you can never find anyone, but if you don't need anyone, they're all around you. Is that it?

 

Not exactly - it's more like maybe our HD should hire some more people, or keep them from clustering in the fun departments or something.  My experience at HD is more like auntlada's experience at Lowe's:

Our Lowe's doesn't do that. No one ever calls out or says anything to me, and if I want help, I have to track someone down, sometimes walking across the whole store. Even when I'm standing around looking lost and an employee wanders by, I have to run after him (or her, but usually him) to get help.

 

 

Plus, as Bastet points out, the help in the stores is often of very little help.  I've run into some very helpful customers, though - seriously.  

 

I try to use the local hardware/tile/garden/whatever store - on the one hand I don't know how he stays in business (with HD and Lowe's both in town), but on the other hand I know exactly how he stays in business (HD and Lowe's employees) -- because he's knowledgeable, keeps an amazing inventory in his smallish space, and willingly points me in the right direction if he doesn't have what I'm looking for; but sometimes I have to hit the big box store.  

[bubbls]

I don't remember it ever being so uniform.  I can't tell you the last time I saw a teen girl's neck, or even shoulders.   Long, stringy hair is not a good look for everyone, yet they all do it. 

 

 

What I don't remember about us teens who were teens in the Jurassic era (aka the 80s) is everyone being so skinny. I wasn't. My friends weren't. We were generally size 6-9. I knew of only two girls who were size zero. One was only 4 feet 8 inches tall so she looked average like the rest of us and the other was anorexic, which was called "dieting" back then.

[magicdog]

I don't remember it ever being so uniform.  I can't tell you the last time I saw a teen girl's neck, or even shoulders.   Long, stringy hair is not a good look for everyone, yet they all do it.

 

This reminds me of a cartoon I saw in an editorial over the school uniform debate.  One kid says to another "They're thinking about making us wear school uniforms."  The other kid replied, "I'd hate that.  Then we'd have no individuality". Then you see a group of teens all walking to class - all sporting the same look!

[DeLurker]

Another parking peeve - I had to stop by the grocery store this morning fairly early.  The lot was more than 95% empty.  I park in an area that is a bit of a distance away so I can force myself to get a few more steps in and so no other cars will park next to me, because there are open spaces much closer to the door right?  Wrong!  Within 20 seconds of parking, a car pulls in right next to me.  I'm still putzing around getting myset together and shaking my head and within a minute another car parks on the other side.

[bmasters9]

Another parking peeve - I had to stop by the grocery store this morning fairly early.  The lot was more than 95% empty.  I park in an area that is a bit of a distance away so I can force myself to get a few more steps in and so no other cars will park next to me, because there are open spaces much closer to the door right?  Wrong!  Within 20 seconds of parking, a car pulls in right next to me.  I'm still putzing around getting myset together and shaking my head and within a minute another car parks on the other side.

Somewhat akin to that classic situation where you're in an empty theater, and instead of picking seats anywhere else, other people flank you on all sides. Is that it?

[applecrisp]

Oh It happens.  In a classroom or in church,if you feel the need to be alone and in a private area, they will come.

[auntlada]

That's why it's always good to carry a lot of crap that you can stick in the seats next to you.

[Sun-Bun]

Funny that you all mentioned how annoying customer service phone reps can be. I recently had an instance of having to tell one female rep "I'll call back when I can speak with someone less bitchy than you, thanks!"

She was quite possibly the most condescending and passive-aggressive phone rep I've had the misfortune to deal with, and I'm sweet as can be to service workers, having worked as one myself. She probably had been having a rough day and all, but still, comon'---asking me in a snarky tone "So are you familiar with how websites actually work?" was a pointless jab.

I use the "You're welcome!" line all the time with those assholes who walk through doors I'm holding and refuse to thank me. And I've encountered a few rude glances and even a muttered "Bitch..." comment((typically, it's women who ignore the required "thank you")), but still, let those public etiquette lessons continue, brave fellow souls. How friggin' hard is it to say "thanks" to a stranger holding a door for you? Manners, people!!

[Quof]

Today's pet peeve - tourists. Sorry, luv ya, please come here and spend your money, BUT ....

 

don't be so damned annoying. 

 

A family of American tourists were ahead of me at a roadside ice cream stand. The weather is finally nice, the line was growing longer by the minute, and the two teen girls working were doing their best to keep and remain cheerful.  They took forever to make their selections, then the father handed the girl an American bill.   "You take American money, don't you?"   "Um, yes."  "What's the exchange rate?" "Par."   "Par?  Par?  But it's worth more. You're ripping me off!!"  Eventually he gave up and paid, probably because ice cream was running down his arm.

 

First of all, you're in our country.  Coin of the realm, buddy.

Secondly, we are hundreds of miles from the American border.  You clearly didn't just pop over the border for a quick visit.  Did you not bother to get any currency for the country you're visiting? 

Thirdly, it's an ice cream stand, not a bank.

 

SMH

[Sandman87]

Another parking peeve - I had to stop by the grocery store this morning fairly early.  The lot was more than 95% empty.  I park in an area that is a bit of a distance away so I can force myself to get a few more steps in and so no other cars will park next to me, because there are open spaces much closer to the door right?  Wrong!  Within 20 seconds of parking, a car pulls in right next to me.  I'm still putzing around getting myset together and shaking my head and within a minute another car parks on the other side.

A lot of stores make their employees park in a certain general area of the lot so that there will be more spaces available for customers close to the doors. You might just have had the bad luck to use the employees' designated area.

[Betweenyouandme]

The teenage girls I've seen around here in TX and Florida seem to love strappy flat metallic or brown sandals, high rise and super short thin cotton or linen shorts with designs. They generally wear a crop top or flowy tank and lots of necklaces. Sometimes they wear Keds or Vans tennis shoes instead. The hair is long and wavy or straight. They seem to be all sizes. It's not my style and I don't like half seeing a teen's butt cheek. I'm all for dressing how you want and being body confident. It's the age thing that bothers me, especially when I quickly notice a middle aged man staring. It's bothersome and makes my face hot.

[topanga]

 

I had the fascinating experience of listening to incoming calls for a couple days, and to actually ride around in the trucks visiting people's homes.  There are an unfortunately high percentage of people who are complete idiots making the phone calls. It's why I learned to have patience for the CSR to go through the "unplug your modem" steps.  (Also because unplugging it sends certain information back through the system that wasn't sent when I did it before they were looking at my account, but mostly because I learned that I'm better off letting them go through their steps.)

 

I do get pretty annoyed when I'm given information I know for a fact isn't true and that the person on the phone shouldn't have said.  But I'll let it slide for that person and if I really need help, I'll call back and escalate.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate polite customer reps. It's just that in the midst of having a frustrating problem followed by having to call a number and make several menu selections, sometimes having to yell into the phone so that a computer understands what I want, and then being put on hold for 10-plus minutes, I'm ready for someone to say, "Thanks for calling. Let's deal with your issue." I feel like the overly-sweet platitudes slow down the process. Maybe the reps are stalling while they go through a protocol sheet, but I'd rather hear them just say that they're reading through the trouble-shooting checklist.

[Maharincess]

I must be weird but I like seeing a group of teenage friends. It reminds me of me and my little "crew" when I was a teenager. Back then the hairstyle was the Farrah with the feathered bangs and we all had it. We also all dressed in the same style. It's just what girls do.

I usually end up smiling at them and talking to them.

It takes me back.

I too will say You're welcome if somebody doesn't give me a thank you. Back when I was driving I also hated when people wouldn't give the thank you wave after I let them cut in or something.

If I just want to browse and not be bothered by sales people, I just say "no thanks, I prefer to look around by myself, if I need anything I'll let you know". If I'm polite and direct it works.

Edited July 14, 2015 by Maharincess

[applecrisp]

What I have noticed about young girls are many are more athletic than in my day.  They wear their hair in a ponytail and then wear a thin headband.  I just see that so much.

 

I remembered Farrah and her feathered hair.  Also Dorothy Hamill loved her and her hair.  Could never pull off her style.

[backformore]

I do some work with teens, and there is a lot of peer pressure and "mean girl"  stuff going on.  especially in junior highs, there is a core group of "it girls"  who set the fashion.  They turn on any girl who expresses herself a little differently.  And they do it over social media, which has the effect of being able to make one girl into a social outcast virtually overnight.  Girls talk about the enormous pressure to dress, act and look a certain way, or they will be bullied endlessly.  Girls are attempting suicide because someone posts on social media that they are a slut, or worthless, ugly, anything like that.  sometimes the bullying is more subtle, all of a sudden one girl is excluded from all social events, with no explanation why, and all her friends just ignore her.

[JTMacc99]

I have been dealing with my internet provider.  They just don't offer high enough speeds.  One guy even suggested i go to the competition (which is a monopoly).  I have a hard time playing you tube and I had just found a good workout.  A guy came and tried to help he was quite friendly.  I found out they had a union so I stayed. Things like that sway me and just the numerous complaints I hear about the other company.

 

Technically it isn't a monopoly if there is competition. 

 

This is a pet peeve of mine, by the way. I have a great deal of experience in the pay TV and internet business, and it irks me to see the cable companies be referred to as monopolies for several reasons. I'm down with calling them terrible for many other reasons, such as sending technicians to my home that flat out lie to me, and having a poorly trained CSR tell me things on the phone I know for a fact are not true, but I'm not okay with the monopoly thing.

 

The cable act of 1992 outlawed any exclusive franchise agreements, so any company could come into your neighborhood and provide internet service.  Even the phone company, which has the infrastructure COULD offer you better speeds.  The only barrier to competition is that it is too damn expensive for the phone company or anybody else to run the right kind of wires to our home to compete with the cable company assuming they will get the same rates for Internet service that the cable company gets. The phone company has everything. They have trucks, employees, telephone pole leases, billing systems, and the know-how to provide high speed internet. 

 

The only thing they don't have is the fiber built out on those telephone poles to connect my house. And it's not like selling internet service is a bad business to get into.  It is an indispensable service for many homes, and people are willing to pay $50/month for it.  So why doesn't my phone company build out fiber to my home to compete with Time Warner?  Because the math doesn't work out when they add up how much it will cost verses how much money they will make.  And that factors in the part about Time Warner being a hated company where people would happily pay the same amount of money to another company just to be rid of them.

 

Where my parents live, Verizon did build out their telephone networks to put fiber to homes for FiOS.  They chose to build that competing network in the areas that Cablevision and Time Warner serve because, frankly, where my parents live has enough homes making enough money that it DID make sense financially.  45 miles away, where I live, we will never see FiOS.  This is not because Time Warner has a monopoly over my area. This is because nobody can possibly build a competing network and expect not to go bankrupt. 

 

Of course, I can very easily switch my TV to DirecTV whenever I want.  So Time Warner has stiff competition for TV.  And I use a different internet phone provider for my land line telephone (I get crappy cell service in my home.)  So they aren't even close to a monopoly for TV and Phone.

 

And by the way, the fact that there is perfectly good competition for the TV portion of my cable bill is the exact reason my damn TV bill goes up so much every year. Of all things, competition is the worst thing that happened for my cable bill.  Time Warner has absolutely no power to negotiate price with the media companies like Disney.  When Disney showed up to negotiate a new contract for ESPN, they pretty much said, you will pay us 15% more than what you paid us last time, and then that escalates 6% per year for the next two years of this deal. You will put ESPN on the basic package or you will not get it.  And you will agree to these terms or we will blitz your areas with advertisements telling everybody they are losing ESPN on Time Warner, and to switch to satellite as soon as possible.  Then when the Dish and DirecTV contracts are up for renewal, repeat the process only in reverse.

 

Okay, I think that's enough ranting for now.  Like I said, this is a bit of a sore spot for me.

[bilgistic]

I am in the process of letting my hair grown out after a very short style. But I always want a my short hair Dorothy Hamill style, but never ask because I think Who will know what I am talking about? so I just try to find pictures. I have a pet, not peeve necessarily but discomfort. Why do we have so much trouble ditching a beautician? It's like the Seinfeld episode. I have finally ditched my long term beautician, she is a couple years younger than me. A new place opened in the next town and I went to a very young girl there. She did exactly what I have been telling my long term lady to do, the very first time! Now my long term lady is very adept, very hip, very up to date. But she had a bad style of hair cutting. She did it all, yet it always seemed not quite right. So I guess if it has to be a peeve, it would be that aura that surrounds the doors of beauty salons, that makes it nearly impossible to ditch the beautician.

My mother will not leave her hairstylist despite her not really liking what she does to her color. (And she's embarrassed when she runs into her former hairstylist, who she went to my entire childhood.) I'm flummoxed by this! I can tell you from working freelance, people in business for themselves understand that they will lose (and gain) clients regularly. I don't think it's as big a deal as you might think if you go to someone else. Clients just need something different/have changing tastes/financial situations/etc.

[Bastet]

I've only had two people cut my hair in my entire life that I can remember; one from childhood through shortly after college, and then another from then until now.  I'm not overly thrilled with either of them as a stylist, but the cuts are perfect -- and, as someone with naturally curly hair, that's the most important thing to me, because not all hairdressers know how to cut it properly (which is ridiculous, so add that to my list of peeves).

[applecrisp]

I am in the process of letting my hair grown out after a very short style. But I always want a my short hair Dorothy Hamill style, but never ask because I think Who will know what I am talking about? so I just try to find pictures. I have a pet, not peeve necessarily but discomfort. Why do we have so much trouble ditching a beautician? It's like the Seinfeld episode. I have finally ditched my long term beautician, she is a couple years younger than me. A new place opened in the next town and I went to a very young girl there. She did exactly what I have been telling my long term lady to do, the very first time! Now my long term lady is very adept, very hip, very up to date. But she had a bad style of hair cutting. She did it all, yet it always seemed not quite right. So I guess if it has to be a peeve, it would be that aura that surrounds the doors of beauty salons, that makes it nearly impossible to ditch the beautician.

 I have the opposite problem, the good ones leave and I am left to find another. It is so hard to find someone who cuts short hair well.  I prefer short. It is easier and looks better on me. I get my hair dyed my color so I don't have to have it touched up as much.  i don't mind gray but prefer brown. Right now I have a keeper.  She would rather be rehabbing furniture but she is good. 

  

For us the roles are reversed and she tells me her problems and I just listen-most of the time. Hey we fire our doctors sometime so why not the beautician?  They both charge too much.

[bilgistic]

I have that problem, too, applecrisp. I find a good hairstylist and they leave me/town/the industry after a couple years. I have one now who I LOVE and I really hope I can keep her! I found her on Craigslist, believe it or not! She was coming out of apprenticing/junior styling and needed a "hair model" and I got my color (highlights) done for $20 in an Aveda salon. (I was out of work and looking for cheap hairstyling.) She's very talented and my age; she decided on a new career a bit later in life.

[auntlada]

My stylist pet peeve is the whole tipping thing. For years I didn't tip because I went to the owner of the salon. Now that I don't I have to figure out how much to tip. I would rather they just charge me a little more and say no tips. I do think the cost is too much to begin with, but I will pay because they have to make a living. Besides some of you who live in big cities would probably be happy to pay what I pay.

[bilgistic]

I live in a moderately sized NC city (1M residents in the county) and have long hair, in which I get partial highlights (generally, one must pay more for long hair highlights vs. short). I pay about $130 after 20% tip. That's on the low end of the price spectrum in my area.

Edited July 14, 2015 by bilgistic

[Betweenyouandme]

I get mine colored in Dallas. Sometimes I get a trim. The cost with tip is between 180$-260$.

[auntlada]

That's what I mean. I pay $35 before tip for a haircut. Last time I had my hair colored, it was about $35 or $40, but that was 15 years ago.

[applecrisp]

Agree about tipping the hair stylist this is a somewhat new thing, at least in my area.  What do you do if they do a bad job but you don't realize because they style the hell out of it.  I found a gem and she has low prices and sometimes she gets me shampoo with her discount.

 

I wish I could get highlights but when they grow out they are so noticeable.  i am in menopause yeah!! Sorry if TMI.  i am being treated for adrenal fatigue and have hormone issues.  oddly my hair has become quite wavy.  And a little thicker.  I used to hate it when someone would say, "that won't work on your  hair it's too thin.  Keep your commentary to yourself you'll cut how you want anyway.  Another reason this one is a keeper. 

 

Hope I didn't jinx myself.

[magicdog]

there is a lot of peer pressure and "mean girl"  stuff going on.  especially in junior highs, there is a core group of "it girls"  who set the fashion.  They turn on any girl who expresses herself a little differently.  And they do it over social media, which has the effect of being able to make one girl into a social outcast virtually overnight.  Girls talk about the enormous pressure to dress, act and look a certain way, or they will be bullied endlessly.  Girls are attempting suicide because someone posts on social media that they are a slut, or worthless, ugly, anything like that.  sometimes the bullying is more subtle, all of a sudden one girl is excluded from all social events, with no explanation why, and all her friends just ignore her.

 

This is why I like homeschooling.  You leave that nonsense behind.   You develop into your own person and become more individualized.   I've been bullied as a kid and I remember those desperate days when your "friends" wouldn't stick up for you - because that meant they would be on the bully victim list.  I'm just thankful electronic media wasn't around when I was in middle school!  I just know I would have had a webpage labeled, "I hate [magicdog].com". 

 

 

What really peeves me is that parents raised these little monsters!  Did any of them have an adult at home teaching them how to treat people?  Did they have parents that taught them to bully others and treat them as pariahs if they didn't go along with them?  This had to come from somewhere.

Edited July 14, 2015 by magicdog

[bilgistic]

I'm going on vacation to the beach next week with my mother, sister and niece. My niece is seven, and she's a fantastic kid. I hate kids, but she's awesome. However...my sister, who I consider my best (and pretty much only) friend said the other day (over IM; we live two states apart) that one night we'll go to tourist trap A and one night we'll go to tourist trap B and we have to play mini-golf because my niece really wants to, and yammer, yammer, yammer.

We're going to be there only three nights (my mother and I are going on to another destination the next day/night). I don't want to run around on my entire vacation, which will be the first I've had in five years. I want to just relax and not go be in the "mooing, stampeding herd of stupidity" every night.

Furthermore, when my sisters and I were growing up and my mother took us to the beach, we didn't do any of that touristy crap, and we ate sandwiches in the condo (not out at restaurants) and we had a great time. Maybe my sister wants "better" for my niece, but I feel like it's yet another example of the kids deciding what the grownups will be doing instead of vice-versa.

[Bastet]

This being your first vacation in five years is obscene (and oh so American). 

 

This is one of the reasons my favorite mode of travel is alone.  But I also find it easy to say, when traveling with others (which I also enjoy), "No thanks; have fun, but I'm going to do X and will meet up with you later" when I want to diverge. 

 

Don't let them ruin your relaxation!  You don't ask them to do less than they want to do, and they don't ask you to do more than you want to do.  Everyone is happy.  You don't need to spend every minute of the vacation together to enjoy each other.

 

I hope you have a great time.

Edited July 15, 2015 by Bastet

[bilgistic]

I originally thought I'd stay a night extra at the second destination. My mother kind of invited herself along to that, so I made that only one night.

I went on a short trip alone 15-ish years ago and loved it. I have the two "senior" cats (14 and 17) now, and I'm having a pet sitter come next week for the first time. It's $30 a day ($15/visit), so it's keeping me from staying anywhere too long. Sigh.

I love being alone (and with the kitties). I'm very introverted and I crave quiet. It's going to be challenging for me with a seven-year-old with boundless energy next week. I'm going to have to make copious use of my headphones.

I have been at my current job for 14 months but was out of full-time work for four years prior. I freelanced but was also dealing with pretty serious depression (recurrent, lifelong), so I had very, very little money. No money = no vacations. Some people would say being out of work is a vacation, but I can assure them that crippling depression and anxiety is no tropical oasis.

I'm looking forward to next week, but obviously, I'm full of anxiety about it.

Edited July 15, 2015 by bilgistic

[backformore]

Since this is the pet peeve thread, I have a peeve. twice on TV shows recently, a woman was complimented this way "I can't believe  you're a grandma!  You look so young!  doesn't she look young for a GRANDMA?"

No offense to anyone who is a young grandma, but it is not in itself an accomplishment.   Get pregnant in high school, have your kid also get pregnant (or get a girl pregnant) in high school, and you can be a 30 year old grandma!  so if a 30 year old grandma looks younger than, say a 60 year old grandma - so what?

Edited July 15, 2015 by backformore

[applecrisp]

Elizabeth Taylor was a grandma at 40.  So there you go.

 

I understand Bilgistic. I just have to have downtime.  I can't go go go like some people.  Seeing things just to see things is pointless and why do our days on vacay need to be packed.  I like to enjoy the scenery.  I think it is fun to stay in a hotel, also.  Some people just want bragging rights,I swear.

[ALenore]

No offense to anyone who is a young grandma, but it is not in itself an accomplishment

 

One pet peeve of mine is headlines in the newspaper or TV news that say "Grandmother Opens New Business on Main Street." or Grandmother Elected to Town Council" or "Grandmother Hikes the Appalachian Trail," when you never see headlines saying "Grandfather Opens  New Business on Main Street" or "Grandfather Hikes the Appalachian Trail"   I guess this is because most people's initial image when they hear "grandmother" is a little old lady who stays at home and knits, whereas no one has any similar impression of a grandfather.