Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[kieyra]

I hate that it's nearly impossible to ask for advice online these days without at least some percentage of responders looking for ways to make you feel dumb for asking--unless you're very, very careful with how you structure the question and load your disclaimers. That little reflex we have to point out the ways people are wrong online is awful. I'm definitely not innocent myself, but I'm trying to be more cognizant of it. 

(I'm in a community with other authors. I asked a simple question, and things went well enough at first, but eventually posters showed up just to say things like "I'm concerned that you don't already know the answer to this",  and "the fact that you're even asking tells me you haven't done enough research". If I ever I catch myself responding to someone seeking information this way, I'm literally going to smack myself in the forehead.)

[ennui]

I usually return calls when it's a wrong number, just to tell people it's a wrong number. I've had calls from car dealerships and dog breeders. The dog breeder said, "Oh. Thank you for letting me know. Do you want a puppy?"  

2 minutes ago, kieyra said:

(I'm in a community with other authors. I asked a simple question, and things went well enough at first, but eventually posters showed up just to say things like "I'm concerned that you don't already know the answer to this",  and "the fact that you're even asking tells me you haven't done enough research".

It's the internet, not the community. I frequent a car forum, same types of responses. 

[partofme]

17 minutes ago, ennui said:

I usually return calls when it's a wrong number, just to tell people it's a wrong number. I've had calls from car dealerships and dog breeders. The dog breeder said, "Oh. Thank you for letting me know. Do you want a puppy?"  

 

 

I call people back when they left a message to let them know they called the wrong number.   I never call back numbers who don't leave a message.

Earlier this week I got ten phone calls in the span of an hour on my cell phone from numbers I didn't recognize, all local NYC numbers, and the few that I answered said they'd just gotten a call from my number and I told the first one no he didn't, by the third that I answered I was calling the caller a liar and saying to never call my number again.   I blocked all ten numbers.  Annoyingly at&t told me the only way to stop this is to change my phone number which is not something I really want to do.

Edited July 14, 2017 by partofme

[kieyra]

2 minutes ago, ennui said:

It's the internet, not the community. I frequent a car forum, same types of responses. 

I hear you, I just feel like it's gotten a lot worse in the last five-ish years. I spend a disproportionate amount of time on prev.tv at this point (relative to the amount of new television I actually watch right now) because it's one of the few places I can go and be assured of a relative lack of snarkery, or at least not feel like X number of posters are just waiting to go for my throat. (At least with the scripted shows I watch. Maybe things are more heated for political shows, or candid reality stuff. =D) 

[ennui]

4 minutes ago, partofme said:

the few that I answered said they'd just gotten a call from my number

Can phone numbers be phished like email accounts? For example, I get spam emails from my own address.

[kieyra]

14 minutes ago, ennui said:

Can phone numbers be phished like email accounts? For example, I get spam emails from my own address.

They can for sure be "spoofed".

Some company has been running a scam where they say they're calling from Hilton or Marriot and you've won a paid vacation. The numbers look like they're coming from your local area, for example if your phone number is 404-555-1234, you'll get calls from 404-555-1235, 1236, and so on. I was getting them every night for a couple of weeks until I started sitting through the initial "you've won!" recording and waiting for a live person and asking them questions. Like "what's the name of your company?" (They'd always hang up on me.)

(I assume the idea is that they get that small percentage of people who believe it's really Hilton calling, and that they've really won a vacation, it just needs to be secured with a name and credit card number.) 

[bilgistic]

14 minutes ago, ennui said:

Can phone numbers be phished like email accounts? For example, I get spam emails from my own address.

Short and ignorant answer: yes, but I don't know how the technology works. I switched cell service carriers several months ago to an NC carrier (Republic) that piggybacks on Verizon's network. I ported my phone number to the new carrier. The way this carrier works is to assign a ghost number through them that pushes through to your actual phone number.

There are problems with this model, I have learned. "Justin" used to have the ghost number and gave it up at some point. Back into the ether it went until Republic called it back (pun) to assign it to my new account. Justin was a busy dude and signed up for a lot of garbage. He got a LOT of spam calls and texts, so now, I get them. On any given day, I get at least two spam calls. I don't get that many REAL calls in a week. They've died down from the tsunami I used to get. I have an app that manages them. Sometimes the app stops the spam calls from even coming through.

My point, and I do have one, is that many of these calls are from spoofed numbers. I don't know how it's done, but anytime I bother to look up the number, there's no information. I've called some of them back (from my desk phone) and I'll get a live human's personal phone. The people have not made a phone call. Only maybe twice have I received a legit call for Justin.

Back when I still had a landline, which was well over five years ago, my caller ID would sometimes display all zeros when a call was coming in--scam/spam. I ported my landline to my cell, and here we are...still getting spammed.

I hate junk mail, I hate junk email and I hate spam phone calls. I've eliminated 90% of the former two things from my life. The battle wages on.

[Katy M]

59 minutes ago, kieyra said:

I hate that it's nearly impossible to ask for advice online these days without at least some percentage of responders looking for ways to make you feel dumb for asking--unless you're very, very careful with how you structure the question and load your disclaimers. That little reflex we have to point out the ways people are wrong online is awful. I'm definitely not innocent myself, but I'm trying to be more cognizant of it. 

(I'm in a community with other authors. I asked a simple question, and things went well enough at first, but eventually posters showed up just to say things like "I'm concerned that you don't already know the answer to this",  and "the fact that you're even asking tells me you haven't done enough research". If I ever I catch myself responding to someone seeking information this way, I'm literally going to smack myself in the forehead.)

I also hate when people just call people stupid or dumb, or have no reading comprehension, etc.  Just correct people politely.   And, then they act like typos are worthy of the death penalty or something. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

8 hours ago, aquarian1 said:

Maybe it was a butt dial, maybe it wasn't important - i.e. calling just to say hi, maybe they were bored while driving and wanted to ramble aimlessly at someone else and have already called someone else., etc.

As much as I am against talking on the phone while driving, I think I prefer that to women (yes, it's always women) who wander aimlessly in stores while rambling aimlessly on their phone.  There was a woman the other day at the Container Store who kept showing up everywhere I went, slowly pushing her cart up and down the aisles while yakking away, not paying any attention to the merchandise.  Take it outside, lady.

 

Quote

It's not like people expect me to have my phone glued to my side.  While I work in an office, the expectation is not to have it out all the time.  It stays in my purse in my drawer and on silent.  Same with when I'm out to dinner with people or at a movie, etc.  It's also not on me while in the shower or sleeping.

There's obviously something wrong with you.

 

5 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Oh yes, I forgot all about those weirdoes who call you back demanding to know who you are and/or why you called because they "got a call from your number"!! It's usually some creepy old paranoid coot who has way too much time on his/her hands.

I remember when caller ID first came out and this would happen all the time.  But it was uncharted territory and until then, nobody had any idea just how many misdialed calls they got while they were out.  That's obviously not an excuse these days.

 

3 hours ago, kieyra said:

I hear you, I just feel like it's gotten a lot worse in the last five-ish years.

I listened to an interview with Tim Wu (he coined the phrase "net neutrality" so he knows his internet), and he said, "What's so interesting about the internet - I keep saying this - is the web has gotten worse over the last five years as opposed to better."  Admittedly he was talking about ads and clickbait and the like, but I think his conclusion is true in a more general sense, as well.

[Zola]

A bit of a delicate subject matter, but one that really is a major peeve, and has been for a number of years. And I'm talking about the appalling state of some ladies restrooms either at places of work, eateries, pubs, clubs, shops and sometimes even gymnasiums.

I am not going to into specific detail for obvious reasons, but like OMG! what do some women actually do in those cubicles? Sometimes I have to pity the cleaners who have to "clear up" afterwards.

Fortunately I have only come across a relatively small number of truly horrific restrooms, but nonetheless I am still extremely wary about entering a cubicle even if it appears to be spotlessly clean!

[Quof]

Quote

I think I prefer that to women (yes, it's always women) who wander aimlessly in stores while rambling aimlessly on their phone.

Even more annoying when they have it  on speaker, like they are a Kardashian. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

6 hours ago, Only Zola said:

A bit of a delicate subject matter, but one that really is a major peeve, and has been for a number of years. And I'm talking about the appalling state of some ladies restrooms either at places of work, eateries, pubs, clubs, shops and sometimes even gymnasiums.

Even something as simple as flushing the goddamn toilet seems beyond some people's skill set.  I don't know--is it the automatic ones vexing them?  There's a way to manually flush ever single toilet I've encountered.  Sometimes you have to kind of noodle it out, but if the alternative is not flushing and leaving it for the next person to deal with, do some noodling!

Did you get an incomplete flush?  Flush it again, FFS.  I love it that some places are putting in these dual mode toilets, with two different ways to flush depending on the contents.  Right.  Like people are going to figure that out.

There's a special problem in the southwest U.S., where I noticed used toilet paper on the floor in the corner of stalls.  WTF?  Turns out that in certain areas of Mexico you can't flush toilet paper, so they have trash cans in the stalls for it.  Apparently if someone is used to this system and there isn't a trash can, they throw it on the floor.  Maybe that's better than flushing it when you think you're not supposed to because it can clog the pipes, but I'm not so sure.

[Sun-Bun]

29 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Even something as simple as flushing the goddamn toilet seems beyond some people's skill set.  I don't know--is it the automatic ones vexing them?  There's a way to manually flush ever single toilet I've encountered.  Sometimes you have to kind of noodle it out, but if the alternative is not flushing and leaving it for the next person to deal with, do some noodling!

Did you get an incomplete flush?  Flush it again, FFS.  I love it that some places are putting in these dual mode toilets, with two different ways to flush depending on the contents.  Right.  Like people are going to figure that out.

There's a special problem in the southwest U.S., where I noticed used toilet paper on the floor in the corner of stalls.  WTF?  Turns out that in certain areas of Mexico you can't flush toilet paper, so they have trash cans in the stalls for it.  Apparently if someone is used to this system and there isn't a trash can, they throw it on the floor.  Maybe that's better than flushing it when you think you're not supposed to because it can clog the pipes, but I'm not so sure.

Yep, the whole "used TP on the floor/in the trashcan" thing is indeed cultural, either out of habit and/or plumbing necessities from the old country. I used to work at an Egyptian school and this was an ongoing issue---let's just say that the stench from that stuff marinating over the weekend in our public bathrooms was almost unbearable. On the flipside, I desperately wanted to take some of them aside and say, "Our plumbing here in this American city is quite good! Please, feel free to flush your used TP into the toilet!!" But I wanted to be sensitive too; they had their reasons for being that way. I had several Spanish/Asian roommates once who did that too.

Anyone else who knows better? Yuck, please make sure your stuff flushes behind you---just use your foot if you don't wanna touch the handle.

[StatisticalOutlier]

26 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

Anyone else who knows better? Yuck, please make sure your stuff flushes behind you---just use your foot if you don't wanna touch the handle.

I wish people wouldn't do that, of course.  Maybe that's why they won't manually flush the automatic ones, because you have to push a button and can't use your foot? 

Which reminds me, how many times have I seen the paper seat cover on an unflushed or incompletely flushed toilet?  That really takes some nerve.

[AgentRXS]

Quote

Yep, the whole "used TP on the floor/in the trashcan" thing is indeed cultural, either out of habit and/or plumbing necessities from the old country

 See a lot of that here in in SE Florida too, but we are a transient community so not shocking.  In addition to not flushing, I don't get women who crouch to avoid sitting, peeing all over the seat, and leaving it there. Why leave a pee-soaked toilet seat for someone else. And at what age is it appropriate to stop allowing your male kid in the women's restroom with you? Because I've seen boys as old as 9-10 in the women's restroom hogging up a stall with their moms waiting outside the door.  My brother was the only boy in the fam, and we sent him in to the male public restrooms and waited outside the door as young as 5. Different times I guess? I don't know.

My peeve today is people who feel the need to announce they are quitting a show. I'm not talking about long-running shows (like soaps or whatever) where the posters have an established community with each other and a long-time poster announces their departure. That I understand. I also get it if a beloved actor/actress leaves unexpectedly and people want to exclaim that that they don't want to watch if that person is not on the show any longer. I don't mind if people are expressing their hurt or disappointment.

But if a show just came out, and you happen not to care for it...just quit watching. No need to let everyone know. I mean, its one thing to share what you don't like about the show, which is cool. But I've seen people repeatedly end their complaining post with ".....and that's why I'm going to stop watching". So stop announcing it and just do it already.

Edited July 14, 2017 by AgentRXS

[Sun-Bun]

2 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Maybe that's why they won't manually flush the automatic ones, because you have to push a button and can't use your foot? 

Then you use your elbow! 

[Sun-Bun]

2 minutes ago, AgentRXS said:

But I've seen people repeatedly end their complaining post with ".....and that's why I'm going to stop watching". So stop announcing it and just do it already.

Agreed so hard! No one cares---just move on quietly; no need to dramatically announce how butthurt you are over a tv show. 

The same could be said for the people who also dramatically announce that they're leaving Facebook. So stupid and self-glorifying; it's far more understandable to send a private message out to certain friends/family on there, but whenever I see a "friend" post one's great Facebook departure and eventually slink back on there again((because they always do)), I'm always reminded of this meme:

[kieyra]

Yeah. I've left a lot of toxic online communities, but it was typically obvious no one would care if I left. Hence, no need to announce.

I do occasionally post that I'm done with a television show, and may state the reason, but I think that kind of feedback is legit (and may eventually make its way back to showrunners), and it's not like I hang around and bag on the show after I stop watching it. (Well, except Sleepy Hollow, but they had it coming.)

Typically something like "tagging out, too dark for me". 

Edited July 14, 2017 by kieyra

[Zola]

1 hour ago, Sun-Bun said:

Then you use your elbow! 

I visited Japan a couple of times, and in certain hotel rooms the flush system is actually 2 or 3 buttons embedded into the floor rather than the wall. You just step on the appropriate button and it's done!

Another paradox about not wanting to use the wall mounted flush system by hand, is that the user will then touch the door handle to get out of the cubicle and then touch the tap to wash their hands, probably unaware that both the handle and tap could carry the same amount of germs as the flush button.

Edited July 14, 2017 by Only Zola

[ABay]

When I was reading guidebooks, preparing to go to Greece, I thought they must be joking re: not flushing toilet paper. They were not joking. TMI ahead...I'll spoiler it...

Spoiler

I got my period unexpectedly early--because: travel--which made it extra disgusting having to put used toilet paper in the wastepaper basket.

[bilgistic]

2 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Agreed so hard! No one cares---just move on quietly; no need to dramatically announce how butthurt you are over a tv show. 

The same could be said for the people who also dramatically announce that they're leaving Facebook. So stupid and self-glorifying; it's far more understandable to send a private message out to certain friends/family on there, but whenever I see a "friend" post one's great Facebook departure and eventually slink back on there again((because they always do)), I'm always reminded of this meme:

My mom has done this numerous times. My sister and I roll our eyes at each other over text.

[Sun-Bun]

I had this one crazy ex-friend who used to proudly announce monthly as her Facebook statuses: "I just deleted 350 people! Wow, I feel so much freer!! No more bullshit on my feed!!!"

I wanted to tell her that she looked like a total nutcase for sharing that kind of info, and also slightly pathetic for basically announcing that she had the time/patience to regularly sift through her endless friends list like that. Why would you accept that many requests and befriend that many folks in the first place if you're only going to ditch them later if they don't interact with you to your preferences on there? I think she deleted and then requested back my husband at least 6 or 7 times in 8 years. If you've got that much time to be so weird about your Facebook quota, you probably don't need that many friends in your life period.

[Zola]

I think that's one reason why I gave up on Facebook 2 or 3 years ago, Too much like hard work, with so many friend-requests from people you've never heard of, but just want you to friend-up because they want to brag about having x thousand friends. And then you have to deal with all the crap that gets posted unless you go through your security settings to limit access.

And that's another bug-bear with FB - they constantly mess around with the security permissions  that you constantly have to update to keep things as they were.

Factor in how much time one spends on that site, in addition to all the PI you're providing to Fb and 3rd parties, it just became a real pain to bother with. 

[kieyra]

Never got on FB in the first place; I managed to get burned with LiveJournal blowing up my social group with drama way back in 2001. Same shit back then, and people using different 'friend' groups to talk smack about each other. 

(I guess this ties into why I continue to feel more comfortable with moderated forums than most other online social venues.)

[BookWoman56]

7 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

I had this one crazy ex-friend who used to proudly announce monthly as her Facebook statuses: "I just deleted 350 people! Wow, I feel so much freer!! No more bullshit on my feed!!!"

I wanted to tell her that she looked like a total nutcase for sharing that kind of info, and also slightly pathetic for basically announcing that she had the time/patience to regularly sift through her endless friends list like that. Why would you accept that many requests and befriend that many folks in the first place if you're only going to ditch them later if they don't interact with you to your preferences on there? I think she deleted and then requested back my husband at least 6 or 7 times in 8 years. If you've got that much time to be so weird about your Facebook quota, you probably don't need that many friends in your life period.

I have mixed feelings on this. My gut reaction is that if you feel compelled to delete 350 people every month or two, then you have friended way the hell too many people who aren't actually friends but just random user names. On the other hand, a friend of mine did something similar but on a much smaller scale a couple of years ago. He had moved across country and then had some serious down time for a while before his new job started. During the down time, he messaged various FB friends or posted on their timelines or whatever to touch base with them. He then realized that he had nothing to say to some of the FB friends. He described it to me as looking at his list of FB friends, a total of around 250, and realizing that 30-40 of them were more in the "friends of friends of friends" category who had sent him a friend request, but he'd never actually had any online or offline conversation with them. So he unfriended them, and posted a short notice to say that if somebody noticed they'd been unfriended, it was simply because they'd never interacted beyond the initial friend request, and the unfriending wasn't meant as anything hostile such as "I can't stand your politics and am therefore unfriending you" or whatever. I felt like he was bending over backwards not to make people feel rejected, but he was sincere in his intent. And this was a one-time occurrence, which is not to say that a couple of years from now, he might decide to do the same thing if there are people where there's been no meaningful contact for a significant amount of time. I occasionally unfriend people for the same reason but I don't announce it; generally it's someone I went to school with a million years ago who friended me to touch base. So we have touched base, and there's no direct interaction after that, and after a while I realize that we have precisely nothing in common other than having attended the same school.  I'll admit it is interesting once in a while to see what someone I knew back in school is doing now, but there's a huge difference between mild curiosity and desire to actually engage with someone. 

I have only two major FB pet peeves: 1) People who use their FB feed to try to sell me shit; 2) People who use their FB feed to conduct a very public argument with their spouse, significant other, siblings/parents/BFFs or whomever.  First, if I want to buy something, I will decide that on my own without any urging from someone that buying their brand of mascara will transform my life. Second, if I wanted to observe relationship drama of any kind, I'd read a book or watch a tv show/movie. Personal arguments should not be spectator sports.

[AgentRXS]

Quote

I have only two major FB pet peeves: 1) People who use their FB feed to try to sell me shit; 2) People who use their FB feed to conduct a very public argument with their spouse, significant other, siblings/parents/BFFs or whomever

This. I have a FB friend (met her once or twice through cat rescue) who loves posting things reflecting her political views. She and I share a very similar viewpoint so I am often agreeing or commenting on her posts. Her husband consistently posts comments pointedly to start a debate, and the next thing you know, they are straight up arguing on FB, and my notifications are pinging nonstop. Its gotten to the point that I just scroll past her anymore. I want to message them both and say "You all live in the same house! Put down your phones and argue among yourselves!"

 

I also have another cat rescue friend that is constantly posting that she is DONE! with cat rescue, she can't do it anymore, can't we all just leave her alone?! And then next thing you know, she's back at it, taking in cats and pleading  for donations. She's dumbfounded as to why no one wants to deal with her anymore, and that she can't raise money. Maybe its because people are tired of your FB dramatics?

[Zola]

Another peeve is our inexorable move towards a cashless society - in that nearly every financial transaction we perform is done electronically using a card; and that eventually the idea of actually paying for something in hard cash will be a thing of the past!

There are of course many advantages/conveniences of paying for things electronically, but if real cash does finally disappear and outlets only accept cards or phone apps, it will mean every transaction will be recorded, thus someone somewhere will know exactly what you bought, how much you paid, what bank/card you use, who you are, where you live etc. 

Moreover, the banks who issue these cards will no doubt raise their transaction fees now that they will have a complete monopoly on the so-called "cashless society". Already some banks charge 2% on all credit card transactions, so imagine what might happen should hard cash disappear completely!!

You might think this is the stuff of pure fantasy, and maybe it is. But let's face it, how often do you pay for something using hard cash compared to say 10 years ago?

[walnutqueen]

I am ever so glad I didn't buy into the social media craze (or even the cellphone craze, for that matter).  My life is simple and relatively stress free - the upside of being a virtual hermit (and retired).  ;-)

I only use credit cards that pay me a cashback bonus (money, not miles).  If retailers were smart, they'd offer a small discount for cash transactions and save themselves the credit card fees.

[Katy M]

16 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

I had this one crazy ex-friend who used to proudly announce monthly as her Facebook statuses: "I just deleted 350 people! Wow, I feel so much freer!! No more bullshit on my feed!!!"

I wanted to tell her that she looked like a total nutcase for sharing that kind of info, and also slightly pathetic for basically announcing that she had the time/patience to regularly sift through her endless friends list like that. Why would you accept that many requests and befriend that many folks in the first place if you're only going to ditch them later if they don't interact with you to your preferences on there? I think she deleted and then requested back my husband at least 6 or 7 times in 8 years. If you've got that much time to be so weird about your Facebook quota, you probably don't need that many friends in your life period.

See, that's what I don't understand.  I only accept friend requests from people that I am (or was in the case of college) friends with.  Not total strangers.  Not even acquaintances.  Only friends.  Actual friends in the real world.  So, I would never unfriend anyone.  Unless we got into a big fight in RL I guess.  I did have one friend unfriend me for the most ridiculous reason. I had posted a thank you to two mutual friends taking me out for my birthday.  She got jealous, I guess.  Posted some sarcastic reply on my post and unfriended me.  Not the mutual friend, though.  I have noticed a lot less drama on my newsfeed bc she was a bit of an oversharer, so I'm fine with that.

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, walnutqueen said:

I only use credit cards that pay me a cashback bonus (money, not miles).  If retailers were smart, they'd offer a small discount for cash transactions and save themselves the credit card fees.

I love my rewards cards. Every once in a while I get a little treat for doing nothing other than using that method of payment as opposed to another. 

And I think that what happens when retailers offer a discount for cash is that consumers resent the additional fee they are charged for using credit cards and go elsewhere as opposed to appreciating the discount for using cash. 

People are funny that way. 

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, walnutqueen said:

 If retailers were smart, they'd offer a small discount for cash transactions and save themselves the credit card fees.

That's my pet peeve.  It's illegal some places, and otherwise a lot of credit card companies put it in their user agreements with stores, that you can't charge a fee for using a credit card, but you can offer a discount for usig cash.  Hello.  That's the same thing.  But, it makes no sense to me that retailers are not allowed to pass that cost directly on to the consumers using it, instead of socializing that cost.

[FormerMod-a1]

It's the Visa, Mastercard and Amex networks that charge that "transaction" fee.  Having these networks and using credit cards is a huge benefit to the retailers because they no longer take on the risk of the consumer not paying them.  Before this, each store/restaurant/service and to keep a ledger of who owed what (if they didn't/couldn't pay in full) and try to get the money back.  With these networks and the use of credit cards they no longer lose money due to lack of payment (they still lose for other reasons like theft and fraud, etc).  The banks behind the credit cards take on that risk instead.  And from a buyers standpoint, if I pay $100 via credit card, but the store only gets $97 due to the fee, I'm still out $100 since I need to pay that $100 to the credit card company.  So to charge someone using a credit card more is deemed unfair.

As a side note, what the Visa, Mastercard and Amex networks do is actually quite impressive.  Think about it.  The connect every store, gas pump, and computer to every store/restaurant/service's banks and to every individual customers banks.  They ping the credit card holder's bank to make sure they have funds available, and transfer those funds to the store/etc's bank.  The store is paid in full.  Your credit card's bank had money removed.  Your account reflects that you just spend $100 and where, etc.  This is why they charge that fee for each transaction.  Can you imagine keeping this up and running and all the connections that can go wrong, etc?

[walnutqueen]

I guess cash is an outdated concept, as is paying only for stuff you can afford.

Before I had to take early retirement and became slightly impoverished, I took great pride in having only ONE debt - my mortgage.  Circumstances (OK, mostly vet bills & cat food!) have put me into moderate credit card debt - BUT my mortgage goes away next year, and that CC debt should be paid down thereafter.  I live so frugally now that I can talk myself out of almost everything I thought I "needed" in my former life.  

One of my peeves is people who take their wealth for granted, and are totally blase or even flippant about their economic status vs the "others".  Like that guy on Hoarders used to say - lots of people living paycheck to paycheck are about 5 bad decisions away from pooping in a plastic bag.  ;-)

[TattleTeeny]

14 hours ago, Katy M said:

See, that's what I don't understand.  I only accept friend requests from people that I am (or was in the case of college) friends with.  Not total strangers.  Not even acquaintances.  Only friends.  Actual friends in the real world.  So, I would never unfriend anyone.  Unless we got into a big fight in RL I guess.  I did have one friend unfriend me for the most ridiculous reason. I had posted a thank you to two mutual friends taking me out for my birthday.  She got jealous, I guess.  Posted some sarcastic reply on my post and unfriended me.  Not the mutual friend, though.  I have noticed a lot less drama on my newsfeed bc she was a bit of an oversharer, so I'm fine with that.

Same here. I know just about everyone in my friend list (though there are a few fronds of my BF that I don't know very well, or friends' wives or husbands, whom I've never met but have had "conversations" with in the friend's comments sections).

Sometimes I feel confused by some of the reasons people give for not having a FB account (drama, waste of time, random strangers, lack of privacy, annoyances, etc.), as those things are all avoidable. I find it especially baffling when the person* saying it has never had an account in the first place. Don't get me wrong; I do not care who has FB and who doesn't; it's all up to you, obviously, but none of those things has to be a problem. I guess I just find it to be an extremely convenient resource--and fun even--for keeping in touch with my very scattered-around-the-world people...though, oh yes, it does indeed provide quite a platform for people to display peeve-worthy behaviors! 

* My BFF since I was 8 lives in Australia, and is one of these people without a FB account for these reasons. And, man, I wish she would already! As it is, I am the one charged with sharing the news of her life with our mutual friends since grammar and high school! With FB, she could just do it all at once herself. 

 

Quote

I love my rewards cards. Every once in a while I get a little treat for doing nothing other than using that method of payment as opposed to another. 

My rewards pretty much fund my Xmas shopping every year.

I'm guilty of not carrying cash too often but it's because I forget (and/or don't feel like making an ATM stop). But I am also the person who has my shit out and ready at the cash-register line!

Edited July 16, 2017 by TattleTeeny
Hahahhahaaaa, I just noticed that autocorrect thought I meant "fronds" instead of "friends"! What the damn hell?

[theredhead77]

2 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

I guess cash is an outdated concept, as is paying only for stuff you can afford.

Before I had to take early retirement and became slightly impoverished, I took great pride in having only ONE debt - my mortgage.  Circumstances (OK, mostly vet bills & cat food!) have put me into moderate credit card debt - BUT my mortgage goes away next year, and that CC debt should be paid down thereafter.  I live so frugally now that I can talk myself out of almost everything I thought I "needed" in my former life.  

One of my peeves is people who take their wealth for granted, and are totally blase or even flippant about their economic status vs the "others".  Like that guy on Hoarders used to say - lots of people living paycheck to paycheck are about 5 bad decisions away from pooping in a plastic bag.  ;-)

One of my peeves are people old enough to be retired who assume life provided the same opportunities they had to the generations below them. The generations below them have to deal with a housing market (and collapse) where a starting wage in a professional career can barely rent an apartment let alone take a mortgage. That's across the country, not just in CA or NY. Higher education is so much more expensive than it was 20-30 years ago while starting salaries stayed stagnant. I'm not a "whiny millennial", I'm a 40 year old who sees the wage / life gap between myself and friends just 4-5 years old than me. This isn't an attack on you, @walnutqueen, this is truly a pet peeve and your post set off my rant.

Edited July 15, 2017 by theredhead77
words.

[TattleTeeny]

Reminds me of the "You want better than minimum wage? Then get a real job!" shit spewed by people (on Facebook for that matter, haha! And often followed up by the ridiculous "explanation" that minimum wage is "meant for kids starting out," not adults with people to support) who assume that all poverty is due to laziness. 

[walnutqueen]

5 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

One of my peeves are people who are old enough to be retired who assume life provided the same opportunities they had to the generations below them. The generations below them have to deal with a housing market (and collapse) where a starting wage in a professional career can barely rent an apartment let alone take a mortgage. That's across the country, not just in CA or NY. Higher education is so much more expensive than it was 20-30 years ago while starting salaries stayed stagnant. I'm not a "whiny millennial", I'm a 40 year old who sees the wage / life gap between myself and friends just 4-5 years old than me. This isn't an attack on you, @walnutqueen, this is truly a pet peeve and your post set off my rant.

I totally get you.  I wouldn't have a house if I didn't get stupid lucky buying a shithole back in the 80s.  My retirement "pension" is a joke, and I'm not eligible for Social Security (thanks, misspent youth!).  And I've NEVER had as good a life as my lowly parents did - they both worked crap jobs ("secretary" and "law clerk"), yet managed to have a house, a "farm", vacations, 2 cars that weren't beaters, and a fairly decent middle class lifestyle.  No more of that, my friend - EVER.  The dwindling middle class is a reality, folks.  And that's another pet peeve - this was once the country of opportunity, but now it seems to be the country of Haves and Have-Nots.  And the Haves are WINNING, just as much as the Have-Nots are LOSING.

I'm glad I didn't have kids, because this brave new world?  I wouldn't wish on anyone.

[bilgistic]

Y'all posted a lot when I was asleep! I have Important Thoughts on these matters.

10 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

I only use credit cards that pay me a cashback bonus (money, not miles).  If retailers were smart, they'd offer a small discount for cash transactions and save themselves the credit card fees.

I have two credit cards: one from my credit union and one for which I get cash back. I use the cash-back card almost exclusively (sometimes debit and sometimes cash). I pay off the card weekly if I remember, but it's set to autopay when it's due.

As for cash, I try to keep a little on hand for tips. My piercing studio (don't judge) gives a discount for cash payment, and I tip there. I pay my hairstylist in cash. The nail salon gives a discount for cash payment, and most nail salons want cash tipping.

10 hours ago, Katy M said:

See, that's what I don't understand.  I only accept friend requests from people that I am (or was in the case of college) friends with.  Not total strangers.  Not even acquaintances.  Only friends.  Actual friends in the real world.  So, I would never unfriend anyone.  Unless we got into a big fight in RL I guess.  I did have one friend unfriend me for the most ridiculous reason. I had posted a thank you to two mutual friends taking me out for my birthday.  She got jealous, I guess.  Posted some sarcastic reply on my post and unfriended me.  Not the mutual friend, though.  I have noticed a lot less drama on my newsfeed bc she was a bit of an oversharer, so I'm fine with that.

I have fewer than 12 FB friends, and I'm related to seven of them. I used to be related to three (sister's ex-husband's daughters). The other two are non-relations. I have unfriended members of my extended family because I see them only at Christmas if then, and we aren't close. People rarely notice they've been unfriended, particularly if they are the 1,000+ friend-having type of person.

My boss (you know him; you hate him) wanted to be my FB friend. I told him absolutely not. Work is work and FB is my personal life. This was after he'd told me he'd accepted a friend request from someone with the same (uncommon) name as his, and that guy turned out to be a little crazy in his ranting posts. So he wanted me to give unstable complete strangers access to my information? I don't think so.

7 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

One of my peeves is people who take their wealth for granted, and are totally blase or even flippant about their economic status vs the "others".  Like that guy on Hoarders used to say - lots of people living paycheck to paycheck are about 5 bad decisions away from pooping in a plastic bag.  ;-)

Have you been listening to the millionaires at my workplace? I know I just said I get my nails done (pedicure every three weeks or so) and a new piercing or replacement jewelry in my ear(s) every six months to a year--my ears are getting full, but those are truly my only extravagances. I spend most of my money on my rent, utilities, student loan and Bilgisticat's needs. I save a lot.

Anyway, my point that I'm getting to is that the people making literally millions are quibbling with me over paying me what I'm worth. I make ONE PERCENT of what my boss makes, and it's somehow justified. Let's see the millionaires live on my salary for one month.

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Reminds me of the "You want better than minimum wage? Then get a real job!" shit spewed by people (on Facebook for that matter, haha! And often followed up by the ridiculous "explanation" that minimum wage is "meant for kids starting out," not adults with people to support) who assume that all poverty is due to laziness. 

Yes! It's been proven time and again that minimum-wage jobs are held on average by women in their early 30s with children. The people spewing the ignorance are usually young entitled white males who have never seen a day of struggle in their lives. I've seen so many Instagram fights, and I really don't understand why these guys follow feminist accounts in the first place. I mean, I'm not trolling right-wing accounts just to stir up shit. I don't have time for that. I have to post here at PTV.

Edited July 15, 2017 by bilgistic

[TattleTeeny]

I see it from my otherwise lovely uncles, who did not even attend, much less attempt to pay for, college in the first place! Lately they've been acting like they know no one who's ever needed government help for anything and as if people who do are freeloaders. And by the way, people (not you people), if you go to McDonald's (that ubiquitous example in these kinds of rants), you can't simultaneously expect great service and then also rag on the employees for wanting a livable wage--especially if you've never worked in food-service, much less tried to support a family on the paycheck. And how do these ranters know that the employees are not working in order to pay for school in the hope of eventually getting a so-called real job?!

My one uncle in particular is very into donating his time and energy into altruistic causes, so it's so strange that he feels like this. He has even jumped onto the "Planned Parenthood is the devil!" train, which is especially confusing because breast-cancer awareness is one of his main concerns. I just don't get how his mind works (or, I do, but I'd probably be veering into the political). 

Edited July 15, 2017 by TattleTeeny

[StatisticalOutlier]

7 hours ago, Only Zola said:

There are of course many advantages/conveniences of paying for things electronically, but if real cash does finally disappear and outlets only accept cards or phone apps, it will mean every transaction will be recorded, thus someone somewhere will know exactly what you bought, how much you paid, what bank/card you use, who you are, where you live etc.

Sweden is probably the closest country to becoming cashless right now.  The New Yorker had an interesting article about it.

I'm un-nerved about the privacy implications, but I'm old.  Younger people have no concept of it.

 

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

Sometimes I feel confused by some of the reasons people give for not having a FB account (drama, waste of time, random strangers, lack of privacy, annoyances, etc.), as those things are all avoidable. I find it especially baffling when the person* saying it has never had an account in the first place. Don't get me wrong; I do not care who has FB and who doesn't; it's all up to you, obviously, but none of those things has to be a problem. I guess I just find it to be an extremely convenient resource--and fun even--for keeping in touch with my very scattered-around-the-world people...though, oh yes, it does indeed provide quite a platform for people to display peeve-worthy behaviors! 

* My BFF since I was 8 lives in Australia, and is one of these people without a FB account for these reasons. And, man, I wish she would already! As it is, I am the one charged with sharing the news of her life with our mutual friends since grammar and high school! With FB, she could just do it all at once herself.

The privacy thing is not avoidable.  If nothing else, FB has everything.  Plus, as Zola pointed out above, they keep changing defaults and whatnot so you have to stay on top of it.  

I don't have an account myself, but I set one up for a friend, which just convinced me that I don't want to have an account for myself.  One thing that bugs me is the complete lack of control--you're just handing everything over to FB in perpetuity, for them to do with what they want.  And it was harrowing navigating around trying to customize all the settings, which I'm sure is by design because they want you to keep the defaults, which are no doubt in their favor.

And how many of these "friends" do people keep up with individually?  Again, I'm old, but I think each of my friendships has its own personality, and I don't want them to just be a series of press releases.  Then again, I came from a generation of letter writers, where the missives began with, "Dear X" and not with "To everyone in the world:"

And honestly, if someone will keep up with me only if my activities are automatically fed to them, then do they really care? 

As for your friend in Australia, why are you charged with keeping everybody updated on her life?  If you want to gossip about her with others, that's great.  But if your friend wants people to know what she's up to, she can damn well tell them herself.  If she's too lazy to do it individually (my preference), then she can get on FB.  If she can't be bothered to do either, then...

[Quof]

Quote

Sometimes I feel confused by some of the reasons people give for not having a FB account (drama, waste of time, random strangers, lack of privacy, annoyances, etc.),

And no one has ever given me a compelling reason why I would want to have one. So that's my primary reason for not having one.

[StatisticalOutlier]

8 minutes ago, Quof said:

And no one has ever given me a compelling reason why I would want to have one. So that's my primary reason for not having one.

To keep up with people who can't be bothered to keep up with you personally.

You're welcome.

[Quof]

Ah, so that's it.   Which brings me back to "But I don't really like people."  With a few exceptions, so it's not hard to keep in touch with them personally. 

[TattleTeeny]

Hey, man--like I said, do what you want. I have no stake in giving anyone a compelling reason for having a Facebook account, but my reasons are that it's very convenient (example: if I have photos of something I did and want my friends to see them, I don't have to send out--and then reply to--two dozen e-mails). And I like seeing the vacation pictures, artistic endeavors, the books and TV shows people like, pets, charitable causes, and even plain, everyday shit in the lives of people I care about but in many cases don't get to see in person all that often. And I especially dig getting into in-depth "conversations" via comment threads with all sorts of people who know me, but may not know each other. I'm lucky; the vast majority of my friends find humor in the mundane, and with FB, it's easy to start a conversation that ends up being funny, enlightening, informative, whatever. I can't possibly keep up with everyone in person, or even on the phone, but this gives me a way to keep up with them often. 

As for the internet privacy thing, point taken (though I actually meant in terms of which FB users see your business). I just don't happen to care, and the other stuff is nothing that's really given me a problem. I made my default settings and they've stayed that way ever since. The other things I listed are controllable by the accountholder.

I was mostly joking about being the carrier pigeon for my friend's information. She's not being lazy, it's not "gossip," and it's not so weird for someone ask about a mutual friend. But, if she had a FB account, we could all have the conversations together. Whatever, mileage varies. 

Edited July 15, 2017 by TattleTeeny

[Katy M]

I don't care if people have Facebook or not.  I don't think I got my account until 2010 or so after my friend kept telling me to for like a year.  But, what I don't like is when people act like they are superior because they don't "waste" their time with such garbage.   Most people "waste" their time with something.  I don't have a Smartphone, because I don't want one.  I don't feel the need to be able to connect to the internet wherever I am, but feel I might if I had the ability.  Plus, I'm not a millionaire and that isn't how I would choose to spend my money.  But, I certainly don't think that makes me morally superior to the 99% of people who do have Smartphones.

[walnutqueen]

I am horribly old fashioned - I can "keep up" with my friends individually, undivided, without pics, and by phone or letter (yes, I still write those, although these days they're mostly emails and PTV PMs).

But then, I only have a few friends.  ;-)

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I don't care if people have Facebook or not.  I don't think I got my account until 2010 or so after my friend kept telling me to for like a year.  But, what I don't like is when people act like they are superior because they don't "waste" their time with such garbage.   Most people "waste" their time with something.  I don't have a Smartphone, because I don't want one.  I don't feel the need to be able to connect to the internet wherever I am, but feel I might if I had the ability.  Plus, I'm not a millionaire and that isn't how I would choose to spend my money.  But, I certainly don't think that makes me morally superior to the 99% of people who do have Smartphones.

 

 

You rule.

I have too many "clumps" of friends that came from different sections of my life. All good ones but not all available to directly hang out with.

Edited July 15, 2017 by TattleTeeny

[StatisticalOutlier]

30 minutes ago, Katy M said:

But, I certainly don't think that makes me morally superior to the 99% of people who do have Smartphones.

People really couch it in terms of moral superiority?  I swear, every day I learn about a new way for people to be obnoxious.

[TattleTeeny]

Similar to the "I don't even have a TV" people. Ok, well, good for you then, and "No, I have not seen that show" would have been a sufficient answer!

[kieyra]

My only dog in the (younger) millennial v gen x money fight (square in the middle of gen x here) is that I've spent some time on Reddit /advice and there are so many kids there who complain they can't afford to move out of their parents' place and their parents suck, are narcissistic, etc. (Stay with me here.) But if you suggest getting even an entry level job and some roommates, they act like you're crazy because they don't want roommates, and they don't believe they should have to work at "undesirable" jobs. 

When I was 18, the economy was still in the toilet, my parents did suck (Dad was in prison) and I was totally on my own. So I got a crap job and some roommates. I didn't even get to go to college. But the world failed to end. 

(At that time, we blamed the Boomers for ruining the economy. Wheel never stops turning.)

(I should mention that I work almost exclusively with older-model Milennials and they do give me hope for the future. The ones hitting early 30s right now, I mean.)