Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[magicdog]

Another pet peeve. A woman at work showed me how uninformed some people can be.

A group of people talking. The conversation was about the Chicago/Baltimore baseball game being played in an empty stadium. She asked Why? Answer - because of the riots. She asks huh? What riots?

Excuse me? A 40 year old woman with a master's degree. She explains that she doesn't watch the news.

 

 

 

This.  I'm finding plenty of uniformed people as well.  I was arguing with my dad not too long ago about how people are more informed now due to the improved technology.  He told me people don't care and at random we asked a couple people if they had heard about a recent or current highly discussed news story.  One was a waitress at a local restaurant;  when we asked her about the news item in question, she immediately said she didn't follow news because she only went online for "happy and positive" news.  I was floored!  I thought she was an aberration, until we went to a medical clinic and I asked a therapist the same question and she responded the same thing!  That is hella weird IMO. 

 

I hope these people are among the many who don't vote.

 

Unfortunately most of them do.

 

 

 

1) Don't panhandle. I've been incredibly poor (less than $5000 annual income, ill, no outside support) and didn't panhandle. Being poor is terribly hard and people who have never been there cannot possibly fathom it, but the answer is not to ask strangers for money.

2) Don't use your(?) kids to garner sympathy; it won't work on me. A bus ticket to the health department is roughly $2 and condoms there are free. Also free? Abstinence. I've done it four years, albeit because I haven't been dating anyone. I know y'all are surprised.

 

 

 

I think we were separated at birth! 

 

I never give to panhandlers.  Charity can be meted out at one's local church via donation or established trustworthy organizations.  Most panhandlers are frauds anyway.  I've seen many of them busted when they slipped into a brand new SUV parked nearby. 

[Wiendish Fitch]

This will probably make me sound like a hateful, unjustly privileged bully, but I have to say it:

 

One of my biggest pet peeves are jaywalkers. Have zero sympathy for them, especially if there are plenty of crosswalks available if they'd just walk a few lousy feet and wait. I once nearly hit two jaywalkers within 30 seconds of each other, and their reaction was the same: they glared at me as though I had done something wrong. Hell, I've had people cross the street even though they clearly see me coming and I'm in no position to stop or slow down!

 

I'm sorry you don't have a car. I'm sorry our city isn't as pedestrian friendly as it could be (though, honestly, it could be a hell of a lot worse), but boo friggin' hoo. I'm a nervous enough driver as it is (especially at rush hour), and I do not deserve to have your stupid blood on my conscience just because you think crosswalks are for suckers. Cross the road legally, and if you get hit and killed? Well, that's just natural selection, isn't it?

[applecrisp]

Another pet peeve. A woman at work showed me how uninformed some people can be.

A group of people talking. The conversation was about the Chicago/Baltimore baseball game being played in an empty stadium. She asked Why? Answer - because of the riots. She asks huh? What riots?

Excuse me? A 40 year old woman with a master's degree. She explains that she doesn't watch the news.

The situation in Baltimore has been on the news, referred to on ads for the news, in the paper, and the top story on any news website you go to. I couldn't check my email without seeing a headline or a photo. I get not watching 30 minutes of news every night. But do people choose to remain ignorant of EVERYTHING?

Earthquake? Really ? Where?

 

I don't watch the news or read very much of the newspaper.  The quality has gone down so much.  I am aware of what is going on, but news has changed.  I don't seek out info on Bruce Jenner but it is all over the news.  Same with the 'tough mom' from Baltimore, who is now all over the media.  That is partly what depresses me about the news, it has become shallow.

 

I go to online sites and I pick and choose what I read, so I do not think I am as informed as I used to be.  And I don't care.  I try to stay on top of politics but sometimes that can be just as shallow.  I am from Iowa so we get all the presidential candidates here and I try to follow the topics.  I just do not think the real issues are being discussed.  I am just frustrated.  

Edited May 2, 2015 by applecrisp

[DeLurker]

This.  I'm finding plenty of uniformed people as well.  I was arguing with my dad not too long ago about how people are more informed now due to the improved technology.  He told me people don't care and at random we asked a couple people if they had heard about a recent or current highly discussed news story. 

<SNIP>

 

I never give to panhandlers.  Charity can be meted out at one's local church via donation or established trustworthy organizations.  Most panhandlers are frauds anyway.  I've seen many of them busted when they slipped into a brand new SUV parked nearby. 

I'm undecided on this as a lot of people take their news from programs that are so biased that it is delivered with pontification from the start and the facts are buried within all the spin.  I'm not sure which scares me more - the uninformed or the lemmings.

 

This will probably make me sound like a hateful, unjustly privileged bully, but I have to say it:

 

One of my biggest pet peeves are jaywalkers. Have zero sympathy for them, especially if there are plenty of crosswalks available if they'd just walk a few lousy feet and wait. I once nearly hit two jaywalkers within 30 seconds of each other, and their reaction was the same: they glared at me as though I had done something wrong. Hell, I've had people cross the street even though they clearly see me coming and I'm in no position to stop or slow down!

 

Never ever go to Sierra Madre in the Los Angeles area (San Gabriel Valley - Pasadena basically).  They take their pedestrian right-of-way to the extreme.  Granted it is a very small community, but when people just cross the main thoroughfare where ever and when ever they feel like it,  it is bonkers.

 

 

I don't watch the news or read very much of the newspaper.  The quality has gone down so much.  I am aware of what is going on, but news has changed.  

 

Me too.  In college I used to go to the library and read 4 major newspapers almost daily.  I felt very informed about what was going on in the news.  As I got older and infinitely busier, my ability to seek out pure news - without spin - has become harder and harder.  I don't have the time nor energy to dedicate.

 

Panhandlers:  I usually provide support through organizations, but I sometimes give directly to someone who I feel is in need.  I know it could be a scam, but I figure I'll take my chances.  I never had this outlook before, but once I saw a homeless man who could have been one of my brother's identical twin.  It was deeply disturbing.  He wasn't begging, but it hit home for me that these homeless people are someone's children/siblings/parents...the panhandler might use it for alcohol or drugs, but I've provided financial help (bandaids) to friends and family that I knew was probably going to go that way too (or would be used to cover legit expenses but other funds coming their way would be used for not the intended purpose).  And that is probably a vent I need to take to the Family thread cause it leads into a true rant.

[annzeepark914]

Good to be back at my spiritual home, Pet Peeves!  OK...after catching up on the posts, I now feel silly with my current pet peeve, one I don't have a name for but maybe someone knows of a label/name.  The other day at my book club, a woman sitting next to me began to drive me crazy. As we discussed the book, she'd constantly echo the last few words of what different people said, in an effort, IMO, to make it seem as though she was contributing and a part of the discussion (but w/o contributing one original thought).  This is not an age thing (even tho' she's either in her late 70's or early 80's) because I remember a young man who was on staff w/ me at a nonprofit years ago and he did the exact same thing.  Has anyone else noticed this? This is only the second time in my life I've noticed this peculiar habit and it really got on my last nerve for some reason.

 

Loved the photo of the old supermarket cash register.  I loved watching the cashiers cha-chinging away on those machines back in the day.  I don't think I ever played supermarket.  We played "subway" on my back porch--fold up newspapers (as we were going to read a particular column), stand close together, put one hand up in the air (to "hold" onto the hanger) and start swaying.  The swaying would get faster & faster, then someone would screeeeetch which was the signal to crash into each other (as the "subway" made a sudden stop).  Sounds goofy today but back in those days (no playstations, no smartphones, no computers, nothing good on TV during the day), it was something different to do once we got tired of playing dolls, board games, hide & go seek, hopscotch, etc.  We didn't live in the city so we didn't really "know" subways (except from someone's NYC cousin who'd visited & started the game).  Sorry I got off track w/ my reminiscing.  

[backformore]

Here's a pet peeve that's not about people.

Products that are packaged in a way that you can't actually USE all of it. Example, I have a pump bottle of Loreal makeup. At first, it was lovely. Push the top, get a perfect size drop of foundation. Now that it's half gone, I have to open the bottle (and it's not a screw top) and get a drop off the applicator tube. Then the top doesn't go back on all the way, so it will start to dry out. $12 for an ounce of makeup, and half of it will get tossed. I'm not buying any more makeup in "convenient pump bottles"

[Bastet]

There really isn't news or journalism anymore.

 

Yeah, there is a lot of crap out there; it’s pathetic.  But Al Jazeera America airs actual journalism many hours of the day – it’s such an oasis, I practically wept with joy when I first started watching - and PBS Newshour is still a reliable nightly source of information.

 

 

 

On a related note, bilgistic, the people who start their own online fundraisers really bug me. They're not selling anything. They're just saying, "Please give me money to pay my bills."

 

I don’t take issue with panhandling – for people outside a store, I’ll ask what they’d like and buy it for them while I’m shopping (I have yet to have anyone ask for anything outlandish, and one guy just wanted a bottle of water), but I’ll also sometimes give cash to people while stopped at a light – but I co-sign the annoyance with many of the people setting up “GoFundMe” pages and such. 

 

There are lazy asses and outright scam artists in any group of people, but I’ve done enough work with the homeless to consider most panhandlers to truly be in need (homeless or on the brink of it, unable to get stretch their paltry public assistance to cover the whole month, unemployed [and often unemployable], etc.); the people behind those online fundraisers, though … fair or not, I feel like many of them a) are fundraising for something they want, rather than need, and/or b) could afford to pay for it themselves if they’d just give up a few things and sell some stuff.

 

But for people soliciting money to pay medical bills, my biggest peeve is with the fact we have a system that allows anyone to ever be put in that place to begin with.

Edited May 2, 2015 by Bastet

[smrou]

I give to panhandlers. I live in a suburb so don't encounter them all that often these days, though I used to live and work in a city where I saw them all the time, and I'd give to some people sometimes and sometimes just pass by. Still do that when I'm in the city, though these days it's not unusual for me to have literally zero cash on hand. And if there's a panhandler at an intersection it's not unusual for me to roll down my window and give them a little money, particularly if it's a bitterly cold day. Maybe the meager amount of cash they get from me helps them get through the day and maybe it doesn't--hell, maybe they really need it and maybe they don't--but it's not going to make a difference in my life, so I sometimes toss it their way. I also give to organizations that help people in need, so for me it's not an either or. 

[bmasters9]

I'm undecided on this as a lot of people take their news from programs that are so biased that it is delivered with pontification from the start and the facts are buried within all the spin.  

You just hit the bullseye about why I strongly dislike the FOX "News" Channel ("News" in quotation marks because there is very little actual reporting and way too much editorializing). It needs to be called "FOX News and Opinion" or simply "FOX Opinion."

[DeLurker]

FOX "News" is basically scripted programming.  I can't watch them myself, but they provide ample material for others to poke fun of.

 

Granted, my political leanings are much further to the left on most issues, but even on issues I lean more right, I find it difficult to take them seriously.

[Maharincess]

This. I'm finding plenty of uniformed people as well. I was arguing with my dad not too long ago about how people are more informed now due to the improved technology. He told me people don't care and at random we asked a couple people if they had heard about a recent or current highly discussed news story. One was a waitress at a local restaurant; when we asked her about the news item in question, she immediately said she didn't follow news because she only went online for "happy and positive" news. I was floored! I thought she was an aberration, until we went to a medical clinic and I asked a therapist the same question and she responded the same thing! That is hella weird IMO.

Unfortunately most of them do.

I don't see the big deal about not following the news. I don't. I have enough going on in my real life, I just don't want to watch an hour of more bad stuff.

A few people have tried to talk to me about Baltimore and I respond with "I don't care".

I have read a lot about ISIS but I don't watch the news.

[BooksRule]

This is a great thread!  I've enjoyed reading about everyone's pet peeves.  I liked the photo of the old cash register.  When I was a kid, my 'job' when we went to the store was to help unload the cart and group everything together to make it easier for the cashier to ring things up.  (Soup with soup, frozen stuff together, canned veggies that were on sale together, etc.).  I still find myself unloading my cart like that today.  Old habits, I guess.  Anyway, my peeves:

 

People who use the wrong word for something, especially 'there/they're/their', 'lose/loose', etc.

 

Using apostrophes incorrectly:  It's DVDs, TVs, not DVD's, TV's, etc.  (I once sent an e-mail out to everyone at work and used DVDs in the message.  I got a reply from one person who thanked me for not using the apostrophe.  That was a couple of years ago, and I still have that e-mail saved.  It made my day!)

 

Stopping in the grocery store to chat with a friend or to read a product label and leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle.

 

Beginning a sentence, with 'so'.  I listen to NPR when I'm in my car and so many people begin a sentence with that word.  (Host:  'When should parents think about blah blah?'  Interviewee:  'So, our research has shown....... blah blah blah.')

 

People that think I have something wrong with me because I don't have a smart phone.  I'm sure I'll get one someday, but right now I'm okay with my old-fashioned cell phone that I just use for emergencies.  I don't feel the need to check my phone every minute or so, and if I'm at work or driving I wouldn't answer it if I had one.

 

I hate it when someone at work sends me an e-mail and then walks over to my office two minutes later and says 'I just sent you an e-mail.  Did you get it?'  If it's that important, you should have walked to my office in the first place and not sent an e-mail.

 

I agree about the abundance of food photos and selfies on FB.  If someone just baked the most beautiful cake that they have ever baked or are eating some unusual food, then please post a photo.  But I don't need to see a photo of every dinner you cook or every meal you have at the same restaurant that you go to three times a week (and you usually get the same meal every time).  And to make it worse, why do people post the photos when I'm still at work and hungry?

 

Wow, this is fun!

Edited May 4, 2015 by BooksRule

[bilgistic]

Using apostrophes incorrectly: It's DVDs, TVs, not DVD's, TV's, etc. (I once sent an e-mail out to everyone at work and used DVDs in the message. I got a reply from one person who thanked me for not using the apostrophe. That was a couple of years ago, and I still have that e-mail saved. It made my day!)

In my office, on the first Friday of the month, we are allowed to wear jeans if we each donate $5 to the company-sponsored charity. (What a perk, right!?) The new office manager copied the email that the former office manager sent every month explaining the concept for those of us with short memories, I suppose. The problem? The email says repeatedly that the first Friday is "Jean's Day". NO!!! I'm filled with rage over those emails AND THE FACT THAT THE NEW MANAGER COPIED AND DIDN'T FIX THE ERROR. I'm an asshole, so as long as those emails are sent, I will continue to say aloud, "Everyone, let's honor Jean by wearing jeans on her day." Edited May 4, 2015 by bilgistic

[ShellSeeker]

My number one pet peeve involves my line of work.  I have been a nanny for 10 years, and I have run into the same situation again and again.  An example:  the parents say they will be home by 5:00 PM.  I have my own family at home, so I plan accordingly.  For example, if I know I will be done with work at 5:00, I give myself the appropriate time to pick up my son from basketball practice at 5:30, while also having dinner in the oven to be ready by 5:45, and then plan the evening activities accordingly.  Time after time, the parents are late, sometimes over an hour late, and they don't bother to call or even text to let me  know.  Most of the time, I end up texting them to ask them where they are, or when I can expect them home.  That's when they say things like "Oh sorry! Had to work late." or "Oh sorry! I'm in line at the store, be home soon." or "Sorry, took longer at the gym than I thought." 

 

OMG that is unbelievable. I think I've only been late to pick up my daughter from daycare twice, and she's 6. Once was really bad traffic, which sounds like a lame excuse, but it was. There was some kind of huge accident on the highway, so I decided to avoid it by exiting and taking another route. Well, everyone else had that idea too, and I crawled all the way to the daycare lady's house. My cell phone was dead so I couldn't even call to let her know I was on my way. I was 15 minutes late. I apologized profusely, and fortunately she was not waiting on me to go anywhere.

 

The next time was a different story. For years, my husband would go have dinner on Tuesday nights with my stepdaughter. Then they switched to Wednesdays. So I came home on that first Wednesday night at about 5:45, pulled up to the house, wondered where my husband's truck was, and then remembered....it was my night to do the pickup. I raced over there and was about 30 minutes past the pickup time of 6:00. It was the start of 4th of July weekend. They had plans to go camping, and so were waiting on me to show up so they could get out of town. I felt sooooo bad, and she was (rightfully) pissed. Over the weekend I made her and her family some cupcakes, and took them to her as a peace offering the following Monday, and asked her to please not kick us out of her daycare.

 

My pet peeve is also about uninformed people, but on a much more micro level. My neighbor (who I really do like) was ranting about our elementary school the other night. Her son is in 6th grade, and will be off to middle school next year. She was grumbling about how there are no Halloween parties, Thanksgiving parties, Valentine's Day parties, etc anymore at the school. But the thing is there are -- my daughter, who is in kindergarten, did all those things with her class. They may not do as much of that stuff with the 6th graders, because they've already just about checked out because they're getting ready to move onto middle school. Then my neighbor griped about the school not saying Pledge of Allegiance, and I had to stop her and tell her she was mistaken, because I've been at the school when they do it over the PA system. I also said that my daughter recites it at home, finishing it with, "...and to the Republic of Widget Stand...." which I think is hilarious.

 

I was so annoyed. It was like she'd been listening to late night talk radio, and taken it all as gospel.

[backformore]

People who use the wrong word for something, especially 'there/they're/their', 'lose/loose', etc.

 

YES.  By former boss and I were working on a presentation together.   I had the word "lose"  in the power point, and he corrected it.  I insisted it was LOSE, and he pronounced LOSE, but said it was spelled LOOSE.   I could not convince him otherwise, and I was mortified that something with my name on it had that error.  He was the kind of guy who didn't take kindly to being corrected, and I don't think anyone would ever be able to convince him he was wrong.  In reading over other documents since he left, I'm amazed at   how many times he has made that same error.

 

 

You just hit the bullseye about why I strongly dislike the FOX "News" Channel ("News" in quotation marks because there is very little actual reporting and way too much editorializing). It needs to be called "FOX News and Opinion" or simply "FOX Opinion."

Yep, I have parents who will repeat back to me AS FACT, anything that fell out of Sean Hannity's mouth.  

[Qoass]

Yeah, it wouldn't bug me so much when my dad does it except that he insists that my outlook is poisoned by the liberal media because I can't tell the difference between fact and opinion...  Damn that Time magazine:  it's warping my little blonde brain cells...

Edited May 4, 2015 by Qoass

[DeLurker]

Maybe if you dyed your hair a different color you wouldn't be so susceptible to that damn media propaganda.

Edited May 4, 2015 by DeLurker

[Qoass]

But that same media propaganda tells me life will be perfect if I'm a blonde!

 

Gah, it's a vicious circle.

[JTMacc99]

I do not deserve to have your stupid blood on my conscience just because you think crosswalks are for suckers. Cross the road legally, and if you get hit and killed? Well, that's just natural selection, isn't it?

Heh. I made peace with running over squirrels as natural selection in action a long time ago.  Pretty soon, only squirrels that DON'T run under the wheels of my car will be breeding, right?  I'm considering opening up this policy to Canadian Geese as well.  But I'm not so sure about jaywalkers. That's a pretty big step. Plus, if I hit a person, it would probably dent up my car.

Edited May 4, 2015 by JTMacc99

[bilgistic]

I brake for squirrels! I can't help it!

[auntlada]

Confession: I jaywalk. But only when my son isn't with me and only when no cars are coming. And technically, I jayrun.

[Qoass]

When it comes to jaywalking, I think some people remember "pedestrians have the right of way" while forgetting the rest of the sentence "in a crosswalk".  If you're not in a crosswalk, you do not have the right of way.

 

Which brings me to a related rant... the warmer weather has finally come so I've been able to take a bicycle ride after work lately.  I pedal along the back roads of my suburb and past the public schools to head home.  On this road there are four schools, two on each side of the road facing each other, divided by sports fields and large parking lots.  When the kids are playing, the parents come to the fields to watch.  But do they park in the parking lots?  Oh, no.  They pull up on the shoulder of the road directly across from the fields because gawd forbid they should walk an extra twenty yards in order to go to a physical activity!  Better to make me have to bicycle practically down the middle of a main street.  Way to set an example for your kids about fitness, fat-asses.

 

And in response to several folks on the previous page (marry me, Books Rule)...

 

1.  If you can afford cigarettes, you can afford food.

 

2.  Pregnancy is voluntary.  If it takes a village to raise your kid, get out of my village.

 

Boy, I am feelin' it today!

[harrie]

When it comes to jaywalking, I think some people remember "pedestrians have the right of way" while forgetting the rest of the sentence "in a crosswalk".  If you're not in a crosswalk, you do not have the right of way.

 

True, but in many municipalities you'll still be charged for running them over, crosswalk or not.    (I work in a town where pedestrians rule outright, so that may affect my POV.)

[Quof]

In fact, where I live, pedestrians have the right of way "when LAWFULLY within a crosswalk".  People often forget that qualifier; what does it mean?   If there is an overhead light and the pedestrian hasn't activated it, it is not lawful.  If the walk light is not a solid "walk" indicator when they enter the crosswalk, it is not lawful. If a vehicle is so close to the crosswalk that it can't stop safely when the pedestrian steps out, it is not lawful.   Pedestrians just see a crosswalk, and assume that as long as they are somewhere near it, they can do whatever they want.   Pedestrians who are sauntering down the sidewalk, then dash out into a crosswalk without even looking are just asking to get hit.

[bilgistic]

Speaking of pregnancy being voluntary, Qoass, it's no secret that I'm not a kid nor baby person. I love the ones to whom I'm related (some more than others), but that's about it.

 

My boss's wife had a baby a couple weeks ago, and because we work in "sales" (commercial real estate) and my boss is always on the phone with clients and making chitty-chatty goofy small talk, all I hear about is that baby. I realize I'm a terrible person and will be spending the bulk of my afterlife in purgatory atoning for being a giant asshole, but I'm really tired of hearing about that baby. We get it, you reproduced. Billions of people have done the same thing. Shut up about it already. I don't talk about my cats ad nauseum.

[Bastet]

I'm really tired of hearing about that baby. We get it, you reproduced. Billions of people have done the same thing. Shut up about it already. I don't talk about my cats ad nauseum.

 

Amen.  It's always annoying when people assume something is interesting to you just because it is to them, and thus feel free to drone on about it constantly (see, e.g., my friend's genealogy obsession), but parents seem to be the worst offenders when it comes to talking about one thing all.the.time, to the near exclusion of anything else, and to just about everyone, which inevitably includes a large group of people who don't care.

[harrie]

In fact, where I live, pedestrians have the right of way "when LAWFULLY within a crosswalk".  People often forget that qualifier; what does it mean?   If there is an overhead light and the pedestrian hasn't activated it, it is not lawful.  If the walk light is not a solid "walk" indicator when they enter the crosswalk, it is not lawful. If a vehicle is so close to the crosswalk that it can't stop safely when the pedestrian steps out, it is not lawful.   Pedestrians just see a crosswalk, and assume that as long as they are somewhere near it, they can do whatever they want.   Pedestrians who are sauntering down the sidewalk, then dash out into a crosswalk without even looking are just asking to get hit.

 

Quof, my state (Connecticut) has a crosswalk law, I'm aware of how it's supposed to work.

 

But as far as the city in which I work, a precedent seems to have been set some years ago when it  was successfully sued - or the city settled, i don't recall, but the plaintiff profited either way  -- by a jaywalker who crossed a downtown street between two crosswalks, one of which freezes a four-way intersection.  Jaywalker and toddler were lightly tagged and injuries were minimal, but it made a lot of news for a while. The mayor and others pointed out that less than 50 feet in either direction of the incident were perfectly serviceable, striped crosswalks with signal lights, for what it was worth.  

 

The downtown area around my office is loaded with crosswalks, on corners and in mid-block, but they're apparently totally optional; people don't dash out, but they do step out and keep walking.  Also, weather permitting, we have bicycle cops who will chase you down for the slightest offenses; and it being downtown with frequent stop lights, a busy fire station, etc. most drivers would not be able to outrun them. It just gets easier to curse inwardly, maybe smile, and not run anyone over. 

 

I did the company banking today, and a woman looking at her phone strolled across the double-wide driveway of the Bank of America, stopped halfway across, either texted or dialed someone, and then continued the stroll, without ever looking up.   She took a good 30-40 seconds, which is actually kind of a long time, and is lucky nobody in a hurry came flying around the corner.    

Edited May 5, 2015 by harrie

[Quof]

I don't try to hit them, and never have, but I don't yield to them either when they ignore the law.  I would fight any ticket, quoting the section of our Motor Vehicle Act which gives the motorist the right of way in those circumstances.  Did I mention I'm a litigator with more than 20 years' experience? 

[harrie]

I don't try to hit them, and never have, but I don't yield to them either when they ignore the law.  I would fight any ticket, quoting the section of our Motor Vehicle Act which gives the motorist the right of way in those circumstances.  Did I mention I'm a litigator with more than 20 years' experience? 

 

I kind of had an inkling based on your above analysis of a hypothetical person's being present in a crosswalk lawfully vs. unlawfully.  Peace.

[JTMacc99]

Amen.  It's always annoying when people assume something is interesting to you just because it is to them, and thus feel free to drone on about it constantly (see, e.g., my friend's genealogy obsession), but parents seem to be the worst offenders when it comes to talking about one thing all.the.time, to the near exclusion of anything else, and to just about everyone, which inevitably includes a large group of people who don't care.

In my opinion fantasy sports players are by far worse than parents. At least their kids are a real thing that they should be spending a lot of time thinking about.

 

A very long time ago, like back when you had to keep track of the statistics by hand on your own spreadsheets long ago, a friend of me said to me, "the only reason I am willing to listen to you tell me about your fantasy team is because that gives me the opportunity to tell you about my fantasy team."

 

Now that I'm out of that sort of thing, but do have children, I have noticed the same logic applies. This is especially true of the non-parents. If they don't ask me about my children, I don't share any stories about the day to day parenting, even if that's pretty much what the vast majority of my time revolves around outside of work. I try to enjoy the fact I found somebody who wants to talk about something else.

 

To be fair, I really don't care about the other kids, but I do care about how the things they do affect my friends. I like to see my friends happiness when they tell me a story about something their daughters did. I want to give them support if they are having issues with a child.  And also, I want the opening to tell them how my daughter hit a softball coach with a line drive two weeks ago, and as he hit the dirt she laughed out loud and yelled "right in the nuts!"  Because that's a great story.

[DeLurker]

Argh!  I did a thorough clean of my vacuum cleaner this past weekend - one of the types with the removable dirt canister.

 

I got around to doing my annual(ish) check of the filters - it has two.  Well, both were ready to be replaced so I tossed them, checked the manual for the proper size and made a note to pick them up next time I am at a Target or the like. 

 

Well, Target did not sell that type, the Bed Bath and Beyond only sells them online, the Best Buy carries the brand but none of the filters.  Today I went to Walmart and found the post-motor filter, so 1 of the 2 I need.  I went to Lowe's and found the pre-motor filter, but they had none of the post-motor filters.

 

This is a common brand - Bissell.  As far as I know, most of this design require both filters.  Why would a store sell one and not the other?

[Qoass]

 

I like to see my friends happiness when they tell me a story

 

This is so true:  one of my friends will wax rhapsodic about his interests and I love how happy it makes him even though I don't understand about 80% of what he's talking about.

 

I'm always looking for someone to talk to but I rarely find anyone I want to listen to.

[auntlada]

Argh!  I did a thorough clean of my vacuum cleaner this past weekend - one of the types with the removable dirt canister.

 

I got around to doing my annual(ish) check of the filters - it has two.  Well, both were ready to be replaced so I tossed them, checked the manual for the proper size and made a note to pick them up next time I am at a Target or the like. 

 

Well, Target did not sell that type, the Bed Bath and Beyond only sells them online, the Best Buy carries the brand but none of the filters.  Today I went to Walmart and found the post-motor filter, so 1 of the 2 I need.  I went to Lowe's and found the pre-motor filter, but they had none of the post-motor filters.

 

This is a common brand - Bissell.  As far as I know, most of this design require both filters.  Why would a store sell one and not the other?

I have a Bissell and usually end up buying the Arm and Hammer brand of filters at Walmart. I have also ordered from Amazon because I have to wash filters almost every time I vacuum because we have cats. I like to have several filters on hand. Next time I buy a vacuum cleaner, I am not getting a bagless one.

On the same line, I had to go to Lowe's to get a spark plug and air filter for my lawn mower that I bought at Walmart, which does not carry the right spark plug or air filter for that mower. It's not a superfancy mower but it's not the lowest end one either. The store that sells the mower ought to have the basic parts that you're likely to replace every year.

[Betweenyouandme]

In my opinion fantasy sports players are by far worse than parents. At least their kids are a real thing that they should be spending a lot of time thinking about.

A very long time ago, like back when you had to keep track of the statistics by hand on your own spreadsheets long ago, a friend of me said to me, "the only reason I am willing to listen to you tell me about your fantasy team is because that gives me the opportunity to tell you about my fantasy team."

Now that I'm out of that sort of thing, but do have children, I have noticed the same logic applies. This is especially true of the non-parents. If they don't ask me about my children, I don't share any stories about the day to day parenting, even if that's pretty much what the vast majority of my time revolves around outside of work. I try to enjoy the fact I found somebody who wants to talk about something else.

To be fair, I really don't care about the other kids, but I do care about how the things they do affect my friends. I like to see my friends happiness when they tell me a story about something their daughters did. I want to give them support if they are having issues with a child. And also, I want the opening to tell them how my daughter hit a softball coach with a line drive two weeks ago, and as he hit the dirt she laughed out loud and yelled "right in the nuts!" Because that's a great story.

Yes. Well, my take is that in my heart I don't want to annoy anyone. However, a good friend sometimes I think should make a few allowances to stay a good friend. And, if I'm talking to a friend and a stranger nearby decided to tell me to shut up because my pregnancy talk annoyed him/her, I'd completely ignore that person. I wouldn't care.

I guess this is a very unpopular opinion, but I was raised to be more community-minded than individualistic. Cultural thing perhaps. I don't know. But, I enjoy volunteering with kids and the elderly when I'm able. I hope to have my child be able to participate in community sports and not be shunned from "the village." I like to help out. And when someone walks out in front of me, I do think it's very unsafe and it is annoying/maddening, but I never think about running them over. I'm very glad I haven't ever hit anyone.

Anyone seen the Girls episode where the cab driver hits the old lady, was it? That was funny to me, but it's not real life.

Not trying to step on any toes. But, to be "fair" several people have made it perfectly clear I'm not welcome if i ever utter a word about my "reproductive choice"- and, so I guess I think I can be a little bold in my statements as well. Trust me, if you don't kidnap us and send us back to Uganda, I won't ever ask a single poster here to babysit or even look at my reproductive choice. Thankfully, we certainly don't need anyone else. Never have, so it won't be a hard transition.

[bilgistic]

My boss with the new most amazing baby that ever babied also does fantasy sports. So does the other guy on our team. I have no escape.

[Bastet]

When it comes to kids or anything else, it’s just about knowing one’s audience – some people won’t care, some people would like to be kept updated on the big things, and some people will love hearing the minutiae.  The annoyance – on my end, and what I take from other posts on the subject – is when people assume everyone falls into the last category and just babble on indiscriminately.  In the parents example, it’s not talking about your kid ever.  It’s talking about your kid only, always, and to everyone.

 

Part of friendship is listening, even when you don’t particularly care about what’s being discussed – the person talking to you does care, and you care about them, so that's part of the deal.  My friend who doesn’t have pets doesn’t tune out when I tell her my cat is sick or something else important.  But the flip side is I don’t regale her with Maddie's typical antics, because I know she’s not interested and I have plenty of other people who are; that's my part of the deal.  

Edited May 7, 2015 by Bastet

[Betweenyouandme]

When it comes to kids or anything else, it’s just about knowing one’s audience – some people won’t care, some people would like to be kept updated on the big things, and some people will love hearing the minutiae. The annoyance – on my end, and what I take from other posts on the subject – is when people assume everyone falls into the last category and just babbles on indiscriminately. In the parents example, it’s not talking about your kid ever. It’s talking about your kid only, always, and to everyone.

Part of friendship is listening, even when you don’t particularly care about what’s being discussed – the person talking to you does care, and you care about them, so that's part of the deal. My friend who doesn’t have pets doesn’t tune out when I tell her my cat is sick or something else important. But the flip side is I don’t regale her with Maddie's typical antics, because I know she’s not interested and I have plenty of other people who are; that's my part of the deal.

I do completely agree with all this, Bastet. I'm just touchy when it seems like it's more than an annoyance to have a child even exist. I know it's my choice to have this baby, but, I just can't imagine looking at an infant and feeling like it's not even a human being..just some object someone thrust into society as a burden. Maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. If so, I'm sorry. I'm just very happy and excited, try not to annoy or make everyone angry, and I feel like I'm constantly doing everything wrong. Everyone I actually have talked to tells me I need a support system yet it seems that would be the exact opposite of what's recommended here. Like, if I ever asked for help or wanted to share anything, I'd better just shut my mouth because nobody flying fig about about any choice I made.

[backformore]

Maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. If so, I'm sorry. I'm just very happy and excited, try not to annoy or make everyone angry, and I feel like I'm constantly doing everything wrong. Everyone I actually have talked to tells me I need a support system yet it seems that would be the exact opposite of what's recommended here. Like, if I ever asked for help or wanted to share anything, I'd better just shut my mouth because nobody flying fig about about any choice I made.

 

Here's a different perspective  -   I have heard parents say "it takes a village to raise a child" when they're talking about their OWN child, and expecting others to help keep their child safe from harm, or watch the kid, teach the kid, whatever.   my experience has been that these parents were never interested in being part of that "village"   before they had kids. They just want others to help THEM out.  

 

 What I read is that posters here (not speaking for everyone, just giving my take) are fine with anyone's choice to have or not have kids.  But  some (Including myself) get impatient with the idea that a particular child is So precocious, SO special, that we need to drop everything and comment on the latest photo, and need to take into consideration that someone who has a child is somehow entitled to some special treatment. Or that those of us who aren't raising children have an obligation to help others raise theirs. 

 

I have kids -  they're grown.  I ridiculously proud of them. But when they were little, I never had special consideration at work, I never got any help from a "village", and though I knew that they were absolutely THE cutest babies, smartest toddlers, and best all around kids ever, and they've turned into two pretty cool adults.  But I never got or expected any special consideration for the fact that I had reproduced.  And I understood that some people don't care that I have kids.  

 

Since this forum is "pet peeves" people have been venting about their peeves regarding parents who want the world to treat them better than those who don't have kids.  That's all it is.  Kids are great - mostly.  And when you're in the early stages of parenthood, it is all-encompassing.  Nobody wants to take that away from you.  read the forum again, and maybe you'll see - posts that say, to parents - don't think your kid is so special that I have to drive more carefully because your child is in your car.  Don't think that your child can run around like a maniac in a store, restaurant  or parking lot, and I have to be part of the village that tolerates him/her. WATCH your kid, keep him safe, he's your responsibility, not mine.    Don't interrupt other conversations to show off the latest photos, understand that people might be talking about something that interests them.  

 

I love kids, there are kids in my family, I work with kids every day.   But people who DON'T have kids are just as cool, interesting, and fun as those who do.  that's all.  

Edited May 6, 2015 by backformore

[Betweenyouandme]

Backformore, I certainly do think what you wrote is a balanced view. Thank you for taking the time to write it out.

[JTMacc99]

My boss with the new most amazing baby that ever babied also does fantasy sports. So does the other guy on our team. I have no escape.

Yikes. Sorry to hear that.

 

I got one that bothers me:  People who can't read the room in a business situation.  This is frequently a young person problem, so there's still hope for them, but it would be great if they would hurry up and learn the skill. 

 

Here is an example:  I'm in a meeting with the Chief of Operations, the SVP of Customer Care and some other stuff, SVP of Marketing on the phone, a Marketing VP, me, and the financial analyst who reports to the COO.  The COO was hot about a couple things from the second the door closed. He was all sorts of upset about some last minute crap that could hold up a launch date for something marketing had been working for months. After that settled down, the latest version of a 22 page package we give to customers was handed out. COO asked who had been through it, and pointed out that there isn't a lot of time (again, same topic) to get it right before it has to go to print.  Just when I thought it was going to get ugly, the SVPs stepped in and said they had both been through it, but this was the latest version just came back and they will review it again that morning.  We looked through it, offered a couple suggestions and then were about to move on.

 

I noticed that there was an error in one of the photos, an error that would be VERY bad if we printed it up this way, so I circled it and was planning to tell the marketing team that they better fix it after the meeting. Dingbat financial analyst, by FAR the most junior person in the room, chime in with, "[marketing VP], on page 11 the picture has [hideous mistake]!"  Oof.  Fortunately I was able to defuse that bomb by pointing out that I had already made a note of that for them, but was waiting until after the meeting to bring it up. By saying it the way I said it, I was able to get everybody somewhat amused that junior was really bad a reading the room and thus saved us from another five minutes of discussing how we could be this late in the game and still have mistakes like that.

 

Read the room kids. It's a good skill.

[DeLurker]

That usually only happens the hard way (said by the person who occasionally made similar blurts in meetings where I was the lowliest person present).

Edited May 6, 2015 by DeLurker

[JTMacc99]

Aye. I remember learning my own lessons the hard way. Thank goodness I'm a quick learner.

[DeLurker]

I did the company banking today, and a woman looking at her phone strolled across the double-wide driveway of the Bank of America, stopped halfway across, either texted or dialed someone, and then continued the stroll, without ever looking up.   She took a good 30-40 seconds, which is actually kind of a long time, and is lucky nobody in a hurry came flying around the corner.    

Natural Selection in real time.

[galax-arena]

I don't care if my close friends and family want to regale me with tales of their kids. As long as they're not posting Facebook poop pictures of their child's adventures with toilet training, it's all good. I'm not interested in children in general, but I'm interested in my friends' children because I'm interested in my friends' lives. (Only if you're a good friend, though. Otherwise, I still don't care. I don't get resentful or annoyed at your excitement, but I will scroll past all of your baby photos, sorry!) It only really annoys me if they turn into sanctimonious mommyjackers. You know the kind: Parents who have the amazing capability to turn every conversation around back to their kids. Like this mother:

 

 

Or the parents who are all, "You don't know what tired is until you're a parent!!" Or, "You don't know anything until you're a parent!!"

 

 

 

Shut up. Just shut up.

[bilgistic]

My boss does this constantly. Me: "I'm so tired." [subtext: Because you work me like a mule.] Him: "Try having a newborn and a three-year-old." Um, no, I don't want that and I specifically chose to not have that. Good for you if that's what you want, but don't bitch about it if you made that choice.

[galax-arena]

My boss does this constantly. Me: "I'm so tired." [subtext: Because you work me like a mule.] Him: "Try having a newborn and a three-year-old." Um, no, I don't want that and I specifically chose to not have that. Good for you if that's what you want, but don't bitch about it if you made that choice.

I have to think that a lot of the parents who constantly pull this shit have to be suffering from a crippling sense of insecurity about their choices/accomplishments in life, so they overcompensate by acting like insufferably superior and selfless martyrs.

 

Take Zoey. Faced with a friend who is smart and diligent enough to graduate with a freakin' doctorate in neuroscience at 21 from an elite university - the hell with it, I'm suffering from a crippling sense of insecurity just typing that out, lmao - she has to fall back on, "But - but - parenthood!" If I were Kara, I would have reached through my computer screen to bitchslap her. 

 

ETA: Oh, and of course there's the idea that a woman's objective/mission in life isn't complete until she has kids. Forget the doctorate, a woman's worth is tied to her uterus, you know. 

Edited May 8, 2015 by galax-arena

[Betweenyouandme]

I don't like it when anyone makes pronouncements that their way of life is the best and everyone else sucks. I get not understanding why something makes people happy, but that's just how things are- doesn't need a long FB post about how stupid those people are.

FB and the Internet have definitely made a change to how we "mind our own business." People now write and publish their every opinion and others debate or attack back. Wrong or right, good or bad...this is all a big change.

[bilgistic]

That's one reason why I don't really "do" Facebook. I don't want to read others' political ramblings or see pictures of their dinner. I have some family members that post that kind of stuff, and I just unfollow them, while remaining their "friend". My 13-year-old niece posts everything, and I had to unfollow her. I couldn't deal with some of the stuff she was "liking" (it was really inappropriate IMO for someone her age, but her mother--my sister--is preoccupied with other things besides her kids) and it was constant. You just have to shut the door on some things. There's a boatload of stuff on FB that I just don't respond to because it's not worth my time and frustration and it's not going to change anything. People are who they are.

Now, I do come here and unload my grievances because I need an outlet!

Betweenyouandme, I know I seem anti-baby/kid, because, well, I pretty much am. Know that I have a lifetime of reasons why I am not into children. I'm sorry you are offended by things I've posted, but know they aren't directed at you as an individual. I understand enjoying children, as I have nieces I love and support, and I see the joy that my youngest niece, especially, brings my sister.

We live in a world that treats women who don't want kids as pariahs and not fully experiencing what it is to be a woman. How could a woman not want to experience the "miracle" of giving life? I have been questioned over and over about my decision to be childfree: "Why don't you want to have a child?". I would NEVER ask someone: "Why did you have a child?"

[Betweenyouandme]

Thanks bilgistic. I'm sorry people haven't respected your decision and desire not to have children.

[Wiendish Fitch]

I am also childless by choice. I like kids fine (in small doses, and I'm not wild about brats), but that doesn't mean I'm parent material. I don't want the responsibility, I like my freedom, and I think I'd make a terrible mother. I don't like it when people question my choice or say that, "sure you'd be a good mother", as if motherhood is like playing the damn harmonica (with a little practice you'll be good at it, and you can quit if you don't like it). The idea of caring for a young, defenseless human being terrifies me, and I know I'm not up to the task, nor would I want to be.