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Alyssa and John: Lunch with Lurch

Meredith Quill

By Meredith Quill
in Bringing Up Bates

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Notabug
Notabug

My nephew drowned in a swimming pool when he was 5.  Just thinking about Alyssa's kids living in a home where their parents are doing virtually nothing to protect them against accidental drowning is m

Meow Mix
Meow Mix

I'm so tired of people who have never darkened the door of a public school pontificating about what teachers do and don't do.  I have several friends who are teachers and they work their butts off to

crazy8s
crazy8s

My son and DIL are college educated people working real jobs and are somehow incapable of buying their 5 children shoes or winter boots that fit. We took it on ourselves, as the grandparents, to buy t

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Notabug

Notabug

49 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

The Varsity is a famous  hotdog restaurant  near Georgia Tech located in mid town Atlanta.  There are other things on the menu but I always associate it wit hotdogs. And I want a hotdog now!

Also delicious milkshakes.  The Varsity has been around a long, long time.  It is sort of the old fashioned hot dog/burger joint like Arnold's on Happy Days.  Except real.

woodscommaelle

woodscommaelle

(edited)
2 hours ago, 65mickey said:

The Varsity is a famous  hotdog restaurant  near Georgia Tech located in mid town Atlanta.  There are other things on the menu but I always associate it wit hotdogs. And I want a hotdog now!

My parents met at the University of Georgia. I grew up hearing about The Varsity.

On topic:  these two just suck.

Edited by woodscommaelle
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cereality

cereality

Wasn’t shocked that she brought him - as they bring nursing babies. Just seeing him decked out in Braves gear etc - seemed very much the star of the show rather than eh we had to bring the kid bc he’s on the boob which is how they treated their daughters. Though isn’t Alyssa the one who has shown a freezer STOCKED with breast milk to the point she has no more room? If that’s the case couldn’t he have stayed home w grandma Webster for 2-3 nights? Though maybe it just doesn’t work like that IDK.

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Dehumidifier

Dehumidifier

6 hours ago, cereality said:

Wasn’t shocked that she brought him - as they bring nursing babies. Just seeing him decked out in Braves gear etc - seemed very much the star of the show rather than eh we had to bring the kid bc he’s on the boob which is how they treated their daughters. Though isn’t Alyssa the one who has shown a freezer STOCKED with breast milk to the point she has no more room? If that’s the case couldn’t he have stayed home w grandma Webster for 2-3 nights? Though maybe it just doesn’t work like that IDK.

If grandma Webster is watching the 3 little girls plus the toddler Maci I'd say she has enough on her hands without an infant.

  • Like 7
GeeGolly

GeeGolly

The Duggar daughters do the same thing - bringing the nursing infant with them everywhere. 

Not sure what the Duggar and Bates reasons are but...

Nursing requires more 'suck' than any bottles on the market so often times once an infant uses a bottle with any consistency they don't want to breast feed any longer because the bottle is easier for them. Also pumping while travelling is no fun and with no way to keep it cold the breastmilk needs to be tossed.

 

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BitterApple

BitterApple

I imagine it would be hard to find someone to watch a gaggle of kids, plus an infant. Aside from feeding, I can understand why they'd opt to take the baby with them. 

I do think it's nice that both Erin and Alyssa make consistent efforts to spend time with Bill and Jane. I know Bill's had a lot of health issues and I'm sure the loss of their son-in-law was tough. 

  • Like 3
65mickey

65mickey

I just watched the Webster Family Youtube video for this week. Alyssa, John and the baby were at her grandparents home recently.  Jane looks very frail and is using a walker. She seemed out of it when Alyssa spoke to her. She didn't look like this when they posted pictures of the family at her uncle's funeral a few months ago. Alyssa seemed sad when they were leaving. I hope Jane is OK.  She didn't appear to be her feisty self. 

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Salacious Kitty

Salacious Kitty

3 hours ago, 65mickey said:

I just watched the Webster Family Youtube video for this week. Alyssa, John and the baby were at her grandparents home recently.  Jane looks very frail and is using a walker. She seemed out of it when Alyssa spoke to her. She didn't look like this when they posted pictures of the family at her uncle's funeral a few months ago. Alyssa seemed sad when they were leaving. I hope Jane is OK.  She didn't appear to be her feisty self. 

They're wanting for material. They took a road trip around their anniversary, which is 5/24. 

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BitterApple

BitterApple

4 hours ago, 65mickey said:

I just watched the Webster Family Youtube video for this week. Alyssa, John and the baby were at her grandparents home recently.  Jane looks very frail and is using a walker. She seemed out of it when Alyssa spoke to her. She didn't look like this when they posted pictures of the family at her uncle's funeral a few months ago. Alyssa seemed sad when they were leaving. I hope Jane is OK.  She didn't appear to be her feisty self. 

I've noticed both Jane and Bill haven't looked well recently. Do Gil's siblings live on the property? I can't imagine being their age and trying to maintain a farm. 

  • Like 2
65mickey

65mickey

It was reported awhile back that Papa Bill was having health issues. But I was particularly struck by the way Jane looked. Alyssa has said before how much she loves her grandparents. She and John were married on the grandparents' anniversary and she named her first child after Jane. So I do think that she was genuinely sad to be leaving them. 

  • Like 5
cereality

cereality

As much as I snark on these people, I do think Alyssa loves her grandparents deeply and no I don't think they visited just bc they needed something for YT. Alyssa isn't Carlin, Katie, or Josie, she doesn't make much on social media to begin with, and she lives on a much tighter budget - we all know she/John don't do many activities/vacations. So I think they chose to spend gas money going to SC because they wanted to, not bc it was somehow better for YT.

I mean she married on her grandparents' anniversary AND celebrated them at her reception. May sound like NBD but growing up in a family where the ONLY time anyone pays attention to you is on your wedding day, I could def see a certain type of bride (ahem Carlin, Josie, Katie) being like - nope this is MY day, I'll wish my grandparents a happy anniversary when I see them, but we're not celebrating them at MY wedding. She always wishes her grandparents a happy anniversary, she visits them regularly, and she named her first kid Allie JANE.

It seems like Alyssa, Zach, and Erin really take the time to visit their grandparents a few times a year. Also seems like Law and Michaela and Nathan are somewhat close to them too and visit, albeit not as regularly. Whereas most of the rest of the kids visit when the Bates horde is down there to party party and some like Josie don't even visit then.

Interesting that the kids closest to the grandparents are the 6 oldest kids. You have to wonder if Mama Jane was somehow a respite/safe place for these kids. While mom kept popping out kid after kid, ignoring them more and more, maybe they really looked forward to Mama Jane/Papa Bill's attention a few times/yr. I imagine Alyssa and Michael cherished being someplace where THEY could be kids for a week - not cooking and cleaning like at their own homes. We all know how much Alyssa loves how Mama Jane lives, how orderly and structured her home/life is. Whit has said before that Zach really looks up to Papa Bill and always says - what would Papa Bill think about what I'm doing; so chances are Papa Bill sat and talked to Z and didn't just blow him off like Gil who had too many kids to pay attention to.

I can imagine Alyssa is saddened seeing them now, just how aged/unhealthy they seem. Even a yr or two ago on the show, Gil had said his father was having health problems. But he still looked good then, and Jane was her feisty self. Since then they both seem to have deteriorated and aged.

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Salacious Kitty

Salacious Kitty

I said that Alyssa needed content and used her ailing grandparents for clicks. The takeaway I intended to have was that her life in FL is so dull that she had to resort to footage from weeks ago to use for this week's video. And unfortunately, that meant showing how Bill and Jane have aged in the past year or so. 

Alyssa certainly loves them, but I think the mention she made of them in a previous video was sufficient. 

  • Like 1
BitterApple

BitterApple

22 minutes ago, cereality said:

It seems like Alyssa, Zach, and Erin really take the time to visit their grandparents a few times a year. 

Whereas most of the rest of the kids visit when the Bates horde is down there to party party

I agree with this so much. IIRC, it was Erin and Alyssa who wrote lovely tributes to their Aunt's husband, while the rest acted like the funeral was a giant photo shoot. 

I remember when Grandma Duggar passed, the middle pack of boys was absolutely gutted. Depending on where you fell in birth order or how badly you were ignored, I can see a grandparent being the only source of affection you had. 

  • Like 6
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AstridM

AstridM

1 hour ago, Salacious Kitty said:

I said that Alyssa needed content and used her ailing grandparents for clicks. The takeaway I intended to have was that her life in FL is so dull that she had to resort to footage from weeks ago to use for this week's video. And unfortunately, that meant showing how Bill and Jane have aged in the past year or so. 

Alyssa certainly loves them, but I think the mention she made of them in a previous video was sufficient. 

If she didn’t have any news to share this week, why the need to post a video at all? 🤦‍♀️

Heathen

Heathen

2 hours ago, cereality said:

As much as I snark on these people, I do think Alyssa loves her grandparents deeply and no I don't think they visited just bc they needed something for YT. Alyssa isn't Carlin, Katie, or Josie, she doesn't make much on social media to begin with, and she lives on a much tighter budget - we all know she/John don't do many activities/vacations. So I think they chose to spend gas money going to SC because they wanted to, not bc it was somehow better for YT.

I mean she married on her grandparents' anniversary AND celebrated them at her reception. May sound like NBD but growing up in a family where the ONLY time anyone pays attention to you is on your wedding day, I could def see a certain type of bride (ahem Carlin, Josie, Katie) being like - nope this is MY day, I'll wish my grandparents a happy anniversary when I see them, but we're not celebrating them at MY wedding. She always wishes her grandparents a happy anniversary, she visits them regularly, and she named her first kid Allie JANE.

It seems like Alyssa, Zach, and Erin really take the time to visit their grandparents a few times a year. Also seems like Law and Michaela and Nathan are somewhat close to them too and visit, albeit not as regularly. Whereas most of the rest of the kids visit when the Bates horde is down there to party party and some like Josie don't even visit then.

Interesting that the kids closest to the grandparents are the 6 oldest kids. You have to wonder if Mama Jane was somehow a respite/safe place for these kids. While mom kept popping out kid after kid, ignoring them more and more, maybe they really looked forward to Mama Jane/Papa Bill's attention a few times/yr. I imagine Alyssa and Michael cherished being someplace where THEY could be kids for a week - not cooking and cleaning like at their own homes. We all know how much Alyssa loves how Mama Jane lives, how orderly and structured her home/life is. Whit has said before that Zach really looks up to Papa Bill and always says - what would Papa Bill think about what I'm doing; so chances are Papa Bill sat and talked to Z and didn't just blow him off like Gil who had too many kids to pay attention to.

I can imagine Alyssa is saddened seeing them now, just how aged/unhealthy they seem. Even a yr or two ago on the show, Gil had said his father was having health problems. But he still looked good then, and Jane was her feisty self. Since then they both seem to have deteriorated and aged.

I hate to give Alyssa credit for anything more than being able to clip her own toenails, but I think you're right about why the older Bates kids might be close to their grandparents. It's a shame none of them learned from their grandparents' example.

  • Like 2
JAYJAY1979

JAYJAY1979

3 hours ago, cereality said:

As much as I snark on these people, I do think Alyssa loves her grandparents deeply and no I don't think they visited just bc they needed something for YT. Alyssa isn't Carlin, Katie, or Josie, she doesn't make much on social media to begin with, and she lives on a much tighter budget - we all know she/John don't do many activities/vacations. So I think they chose to spend gas money going to SC because they wanted to, not bc it was somehow better for YT.

I mean she married on her grandparents' anniversary AND celebrated them at her reception. May sound like NBD but growing up in a family where the ONLY time anyone pays attention to you is on your wedding day, I could def see a certain type of bride (ahem Carlin, Josie, Katie) being like - nope this is MY day, I'll wish my grandparents a happy anniversary when I see them, but we're not celebrating them at MY wedding. She always wishes her grandparents a happy anniversary, she visits them regularly, and she named her first kid Allie JANE.

It seems like Alyssa, Zach, and Erin really take the time to visit their grandparents a few times a year. Also seems like Law and Michaela and Nathan are somewhat close to them too and visit, albeit not as regularly. Whereas most of the rest of the kids visit when the Bates horde is down there to party party and some like Josie don't even visit then.

Interesting that the kids closest to the grandparents are the 6 oldest kids. You have to wonder if Mama Jane was somehow a respite/safe place for these kids. While mom kept popping out kid after kid, ignoring them more and more, maybe they really looked forward to Mama Jane/Papa Bill's attention a few times/yr. I imagine Alyssa and Michael cherished being someplace where THEY could be kids for a week - not cooking and cleaning like at their own homes. We all know how much Alyssa loves how Mama Jane lives, how orderly and structured her home/life is. Whit has said before that Zach really looks up to Papa Bill and always says - what would Papa Bill think about what I'm doing; so chances are Papa Bill sat and talked to Z and didn't just blow him off like Gil who had too many kids to pay attention to.

I can imagine Alyssa is saddened seeing them now, just how aged/unhealthy they seem. Even a yr or two ago on the show, Gil had said his father was having health problems. But he still looked good then, and Jane was her feisty self. Since then they both seem to have deteriorated and aged.

Because when they visited Papa Bill and Mama Jane...the 6 oldest could just be kids and have fun.  It seemed as if the six oldest were the parental units more then the parents were. 

On the United Bates show..Erin and Alyssa spent time with Papa Bill and learned to drive his tractor.

 

  • Like 1
Salacious Kitty

Salacious Kitty

6 minutes ago, cereality said:

Also what are both sides here? Doesn't SHP cover a lot of abuse that happens in this cult? Sure sometimes it's as wide open as Josh's issues, but lots of time it's the "usual" child abuse to train kids, non stop emotional abuse towards the daughters etc. Is there a good side here?

Didn't Alyssa go on a trip with Gothard back in the day? I know Erin went with another sister, and I don't think it was Michael. IIRC, they went to Peru. I wonder what she really thinks of Gothard. 

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

7 minutes ago, cereality said:

Also what are both sides here? Doesn't SHP cover a lot of abuse that happens in this cult? Sure sometimes it's as wide open as Josh's issues, but lots of time it's the "usual" child abuse to train kids, non stop emotional abuse towards the daughters etc. Is there a good side here?

I was more thinking she understands how some of what IBLP teaches could be seen as abusive and the same thing could be seen as okay by someone else. 

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BitterApple

BitterApple

Alyssa seems like she's all over the place with regards to the Q&A. In one slide she says how she loves her life and then in the next three she complains about being overwhelmed, says she was depressed yesterday and talks about how she hasn't adjusted well to five kids. It's normal to have good days and bad days, but I don't know, she doesn't strike me as remotely happy at all. Maybe she's an entirely different person when she's not filming for social media, but I can't recall an occasion where I've seen her loosen up and actually enjoy her kids. She comes across like she's in a perpetual bad mood. 

With regards to the Gothard stuff, I'm not surprised. I don't think Alyssa is ready to acknowledge her trauma. Admitting her childhood was shit, her parents were abusive and she was raised in a misogynistic cult would probably be too much for her right now. Not to mention, she's repeating many of the same patterns (treating her eldest daughter like shit, training Sister-Moms, favoring her son). Abandoning the old ways completely would mean she has to do better as a mom, and I don't think she's willing to do that. It's a vicious cycle. 😥

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3 is enough

3 is enough

(edited)

Is it any wonder she is all over the place? Married at 19, pregnant immediately, 5 kids by 28. 

The only time I ever saw her legitimately excited was when they bought their house and renovated it. 

I know none of this comes as a surprise given her upbringing, but it is quite sad. Sadder still is the fact that she is repeating the cycle with her daughters. 

I keep hoping one of them will break the cycle but it isn’t looking good.

As sad as it is I am a very happy camper today. Vegas baby! 😉🏒🥅

Edited by 3 is enough
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Heathen

Heathen

18 hours ago, floridamom said:

It's obvious that John is a fan of the IBLP stuff; the only difference is that he prefers his wife and children dress better than pantaloons or denim maxi skirts with banana curls. It would be harder for Alyssa to change things with a husband like John.

I don't think Alyssa wants anything to change. She's a fan of the IBLP nonsense as much as her husband is. She gets lots of attention for each pregnancy and birth; she doesn't have to work outside the home or put any effort into "homeschooling"; and since her oldest children are old enough to sister-mom, she doesn't have to do much housekeeping or raising the youngest kids. 

I remember when they were married, and some snarkers thought that Alyssa would be the Bates to break the mold because she didn't have an Erin-style Frankendress (and she moved away from her craven parents and wore things like tank tops). Her dress had cap sleeves, as I recall. But she was pregnant a month later, and she hasn't demonstrated any willingness to change things since. She's just like Kelly except in slightly less frumpy packaging. 

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BitterApple

BitterApple

(edited)

Snarkers on Reddit are losing their minds over this picture. So what do we think, is Alyssa trolling for engagement or does she really let her infant sleep this way? She was promoting some pillowcase. People familiar with that contraption Rhett's in said it's specifically labeled "Not For Sleep."

 

Screenshot_20230615-081310_(1).thumb.png.167221a5f960dc169eedf213b9725ae7.png

Edited by BitterApple
  • Mind Blown 8
ginger90

ginger90

13 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Snarkers on Reddit are losing their minds over this picture. So what do we think, is Alyssa trolling for engagement or does she really let her infant sleep this way? She was promoting some pillowcase. People familiar with that contraption Rhett's in said it's specifically labeled "Not For Sleep."

 

Screenshot_20230615-081310_(1).thumb.png.167221a5f960dc169eedf213b9725ae7.png

It is labeled that way.

There is nothing done correctly in this picture, in my opinion.

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Notabug

Notabug

48 minutes ago, ranchgirl said:

I don't even know what the baby is sleeping on and in, so I don't know about its use, but shouldn't the baby be sleeping on his back?  The fact that he is on his stomach is what caught my attention.  Unless he is already rolling over and if he is then he just needs to be on his crib mattress.  

Yes, current research on SIDS indicates that it is safest for babies to sleep on their backs in an open crib without blankets, pillows or toys.  The photo above is like one of those 'what's wrong with this picture?' puzzles from Highlights magazine.  Answer: EVERYTHING is wrong with this picture.  

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65mickey

65mickey

The research about putting baby on his/her back has been around for awhile now. My granddaughter is 13 and until she was turning over she was always put on her back. No blankets, pillows, bumper pads or toys were in the crib. The babies might wake up more often if sleeping on their back but isn't that why sleeping on their back is recommended?  Rhett is sleeping on his stomach, with a blanket and face down on something that looks like a cushion.   I am surprised that Alyssa is not aware of these hazzards with a newborn when this is her 5th child. 

I have the same concerns about this family having a pool with no fence and a 2 year old who could easily walk out and jump in the pool if the door is accidently left open. All it takes is a minute for a tragedy to occur. 

  • Like 12
BitterApple

BitterApple

42 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

 

I have the same concerns about this family having a pool with no fence and a 2 year old who could easily walk out and jump in the pool if the door is accidently left open. All it takes is a minute for a tragedy to occur. 

Agreed and to add to that, Alyssa waited super long before putting her kids in swim lessons. IMO, if you live in a state where you're likely to be around water on the regular, you get your kids signed up ASAP, even if you don't have a backyard pool. I can give Alyssa a bit of a pass, being from East TN, but John absolutely should've known better. 

  • Like 11

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