Small Talk: Just Peachy

[ToukieSmith]

I am not the real Toukie Smith.  My internet aliases pay homage to women I admire.  Thank you for your complement.  The best thing about these shows is talking about them here.

Edited December 11, 2014 by ToukieSmith

[copacabana]

Thank you for replying, Toukie!  I love her too and it was nice to see an homage.  You are terrific just as you are -- you don't need to me tell you that.  I felt like an ass for asking but curiosity got the better of me.  At any rate, I always enjoy what you observe and write.  Cheers and thanks for being good-natured.

[Baltimore Betty]

Isn't Toukie Smith the girlfriend of Robert Di Nero?

[ZaldamoWilder]

Isn't Toukie Smith the girlfriend of Robert Di Nero?

 

She was.  They have twin sons together.  He's married to a lady named Grace Hightower.

[Neurochick]

I'm so annoyed with so many of the women on this show.  Smart women vet men and chose wisely when they want a father for their children.  It pains me that an intelligent woman like Phaedra chose someone like Apollo.  It's like these women don't even think of dating or marrying men who are not black. 

 

What women like Claudia and Kenya need to realize is that the black men they want, the millionaires, have a HUGE pool of women to choose from.  Black men who are millionaires marry and date who they want to; they don't feel they have to be "loyal" to black women, and that's okay.  But it pains me when I see women like Phaedra who were probably schooled with "you have to marry a black man" no matter who he is, the most important thing is that he is black.  The problem is that the black men didn't get the same memo that black women got, that said, "you have to marry a black woman."  I think people who date and marry who they choose, but goodness, was Apollo the best thing Phaedra could find?

[drivethroo]

The problem is, a lot of non-black men don't necessarily want black women either.

 

I don't think Phaedra or Cynthia settling for Apollo or Peter is because there are no eligible black men.  I think they wanted who they wanted.  I think Cynthia passed up a lot of eligible black men to finally settle down with Peter and you can't tell me there wasn't some black guy who might have been a bit boring or unattractive in Phaedra's line of work or schooling that she couldn't have gotten with.

 

They didn't want them.  I've heard that Atlanta is really not the place to be if you're a single black female looking for love (or the West Coast) but that's why God inventing moving vans.

[ZaldamoWilder]

I'm so annoyed with so many of the women on this show.  Smart women vet men and chose wisely when they want a father for their children.  It pains me that an intelligent woman like Phaedra chose someone like Apollo.  It's like these women don't even think of dating or marrying men who are not black. 

 

What women like Claudia and Kenya need to realize is that the black men they want, the millionaires, have a HUGE pool of women to choose from.  Black men who are millionaires marry and date who they want to; they don't feel they have to be "loyal" to black women, and that's okay.  But it pains me when I see women like Phaedra who were probably schooled with "you have to marry a black man" no matter who he is, the most important thing is that he is black.  The problem is that the black men didn't get the same memo that black women got, that said, "you have to marry a black woman."  I think people who date and marry who they choose, but goodness, was Apollo the best thing Phaedra could find?

 

I love you girl but I wanna Dragonball Z your ass to the corner for this right here!  The hell it is okay lol!!    

 

I hear you and what it sounds like you said is that the men simply have far more marry-able candidates as do the women.  God knows in markets like Atlanta, there are at least 3 times more and the added bonus of no incentive/pressure as to timelines.  The shit's not fair :)   It's actually a miracle that they ever settle down at all before reaching cryptkeeper age.   I don't get the impression that Claudia and Kenya's dudes have to necessarily be black though.  Call me naive I think that's what they might be attracted to first on the list.   Which I kinda get because in terms of attraction, if you stood Brandon Lee, Bradley Cooper, Idris Elba, Keanu Reeves and Daniel Craig shoulder to shoulder for my viewing pleasure and perusal, I'm gonna notice Idris first.  Every time.  Because all things being equal, whatever your default thing is, you pick that out first.  Not, however to the exclusion of other things.  Replace Idris with JayZ and I'll still notice him upfront, but I'm leaving with James Bond ;)   Anyway each of them has expressed an interest in being in a relationship and having kids so I say all that to say that I don't think a woman over 40, of any race who is prioritizing love and family has this narrow a field.  

 

In Phaedra's case, I absolutely cannot be surprised.  Her criteria was that he be equally yoked relationship wise.   So a guy who's never been married before who doesn't have children and who she was physically/sexually attracted to and who actually wanted to get married was all that mattered.  Include in her definition of attraction that he must be black and of course, straight and already in Atlanta.  Yeah guh she had bout 4/5 dudes to choose from.   She might be way smarter than I give her credit for because considering all the other stuff she knew about Pretty Pollo beforehand, she may have been counting on him doing something to take himself out of the running.   hmmm. 

 

p.s. Ptv, this erasing posts shit has got to stop. I have things to do today.  #fixitJesus.

[Neurochick]

Call me naive I think that's what they might be attracted to first on the list.   Which I kinda get because in terms of attraction, if you stood Brandon Lee, Bradley Cooper, Idris Elba, Keanu Reeves and Daniel Craig shoulder to shoulder for my viewing pleasure and perusal, I'm gonna notice Idris first.  Every time.  Because all things being equal, whatever your default thing is, you pick that out first.

 

 

I see what you're saying.  But if Idris didn't have anything going for him, he'd have to take a seat, no matter how fine he is.  

 

I think Phaedra wanted a good looking man, and that's it.  I feel that a smart woman looks for a good father for her children, someone who can contribute to the relationship.  I have these friends who are older than me, who told me that when they graduated from college they wanted a doctor, a lawyer or a businessman.  They didn't even think about how FINE the guy would be; security was what was important, even though they themselves were educated.  Maybe that's sexist, but to me, if you want children, you have to think about them and sometimes a good looking man just doesn't cut it.  

Edited January 7, 2015 by Neurochick

[ZaldamoWilder]

Empress, sidebar?   Collagen tabs.  It's the cell and skin regenerating supplement found in Biotin and hair skin and nail vitamins.  If you take it on its own, I promise you in a month, you'll be in the bathroom hollering show tunes - "who's that pretty girl in the mir-ror there?"   Since I started taking it (like 2 months ago) I've been mistaken for a much younger woman, by two different strangers.  Which I totally would've gotten away with it if my 15 year old hadn't come walking up to me.  :)  There's a liquid form but if you mess with the pills, get applesauce or yogurt or something, they're uncoated, y'uuuuuuge (tm. D. Trump) and you have to take a gang (5 pills twice daily) of em.   Andplusalso, Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair with Retinol.    Baby face and turkey waddle looks crazy so don't forget your neck.   Mods, my apologies, but us veteran dolls need help!

 

[ZaldamoWilder]

I see what you're saying.  But if Idris didn't have anything going for him, he'd have to take a seat, no matter how fine he is.  

 

Church. and Crux.  All relative.  Phae's definition of going for him is what Idris looks like, period.  The rest was secondary.  Your girlfriends, dare I say, most women, chose with their minds.  She chose with her eyes and I really need to believe that was intentional because I refuse to accept that non-chickenheads do something like this on purpose.

[Atlanta]

I'm new to the Previously site (was a TWOPer), watched RHOA its first season, a little of the second, but lost interest. Bummed they got rid of DeShawn and Lisa (sane and classy ladies), but wonder if they'd ever have some cray cray like Anna Benson on? That might actually bring me back.

[drivethroo]

I missed the first part of Claudia talking about her "read" of Nene on the Rickey Smiley show this morning but Marlo was also on & they've been hanging out.  I suspect Claudia might be getting a fashion upgrade and that's not going to make Nene very happy. (hee hee)

[Mrs peel]

But it pains me when I see women like Phaedra who were probably schooled with "you have to marry a black man" no matter who he is, the most important thing is that he is black

.

Phaedra may have schooled that way, but I always assumed she married Apollo simply because she got pregnant.  That THAT was really schooled into her, you do not get pregnant and not get married.  Now why she didn’t take serious efforts to avoid that, no idea.  Why she thought having sex with a felon just out of prison - as an attorney who handles criminal defense cases - I REALLY have no idea.

[ThomasAAnderson]

Has it occurred to anyone (no disrespect to Phaedra or little Ayden) that the condom broke? How easy is it to find the morning after pill in Georgia? Do they embarrass you to the point of no return before giving it to you at the local Walgreens. I know I didn't have a pleasant experience buying it in North Carolina.

 

Perhaps it wasn't some grand plan but a simple accident they made the best of. Phaedra wouldn't be the first woman to think she could reform a man and I don't see why she gets so much flack for it. 

 

If I had reached out in friendship to someone (as she did with Kenya in the beginning) only to have her turn on me I would use everything in my arsenal to fuck with her every chance I got.  

 

Finally do we really believe after all the surveillance Apollo must have been under and a thorough review of finances by the FBI/IRS that somehow Phaedra outwitted the Feds? 

 

So she's so dumb she married an ex-con blah, blah, blah but she can outwit the FBI and IRS..okay.

Edited January 19, 2015 by ThomasAAnderson

[imjagain]

I love you girl but I wanna Dragonball Z your ass to the corner for this right here! The hell it is okay lol!!

I hear you and what it sounds like you said is that the men simply have far more marry-able candidates as do the women. God knows in markets like Atlanta, there are at least 3 times more and the added bonus of no incentive/pressure as to timelines. The shit's not fair :) It's actually a miracle that they ever settle down at all before reaching cryptkeeper age. I don't get the impression that Claudia and Kenya's dudes have to necessarily be black though. Call me naive I think that's what they might be attracted to first on the list. Which I kinda get because in terms of attraction, if you stood Brandon Lee, Bradley Cooper, Idris Elba, Keanu Reeves and Daniel Craig shoulder to shoulder for my viewing pleasure and perusal, I'm gonna notice Idris first. Every time. Because all things being equal, whatever your default thing is, you pick that out first. Not, however to the exclusion of other things. Replace Idris with JayZ and I'll still notice him upfront, but I'm leaving with James Bond ;) Anyway each of them has expressed an interest in being in a relationship and having kids so I say all that to say that I don't think a woman over 40, of any race who is prioritizing love and family has this narrow a field.

In Phaedra's case, I absolutely cannot be surprised. Her criteria was that he be equally yoked relationship wise. So a guy who's never been married before who doesn't have children and who she was physically/sexually attracted to and who actually wanted to get married was all that mattered. Include in her definition of attraction that he must be black and of course, straight and already in Atlanta. Yeah guh she had bout 4/5 dudes to choose from. She might be way smarter than I give her credit for because considering all the other stuff she knew about Pretty Pollo beforehand, she may have been counting on him doing something to take himself out of the running. hmmm.

p.s. Ptv, this erasing posts shit has got to stop. I have things to do today. #fixitJesus.

**waves hands**, I'll take Keanu!...I mean if you're handing men out. ;) Edited January 20, 2015 by imjagain

[ZaldamoWilder]

**waves hands**, I'll take Keanu!...I mean if you're handing men out. ;)

 

Um, he's a little tied up at the moment.  Please leave a message at the sound of the beep.

 

*beeeeep*

[cooksdelight]

Have any of you experienced a problem with pop up ads taking over the page? I found a spammer in this forum this morning and got rid of them, but if you have any issues, please let me know.

[announcergirl]

Ok I am going to say something and then leave it alone. Maybe I am missing something. Maybe I am ignorant so please teach me. There is a such thing as whorish behavior- regardless of gender. There is a such thing as promiscuity. What am I missing in reference to "slut-shaming" that is a common term here?

[ZaldamoWilder]

you mean a definition?  if so, slut shaming is trying to making a woman feel guilty according to her (real or perceived) sexual behavior/proclivity. Not to exclude men, I'm sure it could be just as easily applied where they're concerned but something tells me it doesn't have quite the same verbal/emotional impact.

 

Not sure how anyone else would know for sure with regard to who and how many people a woman's sleeping with, b) why it's anyone else's business and c) why she should feel bad about it even they did know.   s'all I got.

[CatMomma]

Ok I am going to say something and then leave it alone. Maybe I am missing something. Maybe I am ignorant so please teach me. There is a such thing as whorish behavior- regardless of gender. There is a such thing as promiscuity. What am I missing in reference to "slut-shaming" that is a common term here?

 

I guess it depends on what you mean by "whorish behavior" or promiscuity.  If you notice, particularly on this show, the women are the ones referred to as "whores" or "sluts" while the men get a pass. That is slut shaming. It's holding women to a different standard.  Look at Chuck from last season.  Rather than being called out on his behavior, NeNe referred to Phaedra as the "Head Doctor" in high school, and they all just laughed and laughed. Chuck was never called out on his own sexual promiscuity. Men are "players" and women are "sluts". No, just no.

 

Calling a woman a whore, simply because she has had multiple sex partners is simply not acceptable.  A woman has the right to have sex without being vilified or slut shamed.  It's the lowest form of an insult, because it says that a woman who embraces and enjoys her sexuality should be ashamed and mocked. Especially when men are not held to the same standards.  And, in this group, whoa boy are men not held to the same standards.

 

I guess, for me, I don't know why anyone needs to be called out on their sexual choices. Isn't my business as long as they are responsible about it.  

[Mrs peel]

Ok I am going to say something and then leave it alone. Maybe I am missing something. Maybe I am ignorant so please teach me. There is a such thing as whorish behavior- regardless of gender. There is a such thing as promiscuity. What am I missing in reference to "slut-shaming" that is a common term here?

I agree with what others have said here.  But in addition, saying "whore" is also a specific reference to being a prostitute, having sex in direct exchange for money.  That's why the term being thrown around so loosely bothers me so much. 

 

"Slut" doesn't necessarily imply prostitution, though again it tends to be a term used only against women - though there are lots of men who have sex with multiple women.  It never seems to be held against the man.

 

It's bad enough when men "slut-shame" women, but it's horrible (IMO) when women do it to each other.

Edited January 22, 2015 by Mrs peel

[drivethroo]

So Kenya posted an Instagram pic of a cease and desist letter Nene allegedly sent her to stop talking bad about her on the show, on the BRAVO blogs and elsewhere or else!

If true, Nene needs to have a seat, with all the bad stuff she's said about other people. And if that's how Nene wants to play, Claudia needs to send her own cease & desist letter to Nene.

Edited January 28, 2015 by drivethroo

[Aging Goth]

After reading what she said about Phaedra on WWHL, I can see even more lawsuits coming her way. She is getting far more vicious and nasty with her remarks about the other castmates. It is going way over the line.

Edited January 29, 2015 by Aging Goth

[Maharincess]

I apologize if this isn't the right place to ask this.

I just saw a repeat I'd never seen called "Make ups and Break Downs".

Todd and Kandi went to New York and Cynthia walked in a fashion show.

Why can't I find the thread for that episode? I've looked everywhere. Can somebody please tell me where I can find it?

[cooksdelight]

http://forums.previously.tv/topic/19423-s07e06-make-ups-and-breakdowns/page-5#entry679977

[Maharincess]

Got it. Thanks!

Edited January 30, 2015 by Maharincess

[long beach lisa]

.

Phaedra may have schooled that way, but I always assumed she married Apollo simply because she got pregnant.  That THAT was really schooled into her, you do not get pregnant and not get married.  Now why she didn’t take serious efforts to avoid that, no idea.  Why she thought having sex with a felon just out of prison - as an attorney who handles criminal defense cases - I REALLY have no idea.

I am so enchanted and entertained by Ayden that I daresay I'd go through the hell of Apollo to get a little one that precious. And Mr. President is a little "rascal" himself ... yup, I'd definitely throw in with the likes of him ONLY IF I was assured of those two peanuts.

[cooksdelight]

A college student had taped a camera inside a plastic tube to an overpass, as part of an art project. The student didn't notify authorities, didn't get permission and I am guessing is in a heap of trouble. The professor who assigned the project didn't tell them to put it in a public place, it was supposed to be something they did at home or someplace like that.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/02/04/georgia-state-student-art-project-shut-down-an-atlanta-highway-and-evacuated-a-nearby-downtown-whoops/

[luckyroll3]

Love that the response is to blow things up first and ask questions later.

[Aging Goth]

Moved to various other posts..

Edited February 9, 2015 by Aging Goth

[cooksdelight]

Aging Goth, if you wouldn't mind, could you split those up between each woman's own individual thread? Small Talk is for off-topic chats that have nothing really to do with the show. Thanks! I can delete this after you are finished.

[cooksdelight]

Here is a horrific story out of Atlanta. I couldn't believe it when it aired a day or so ago.

http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/07/us/georgia-seven-shot/

[cooksdelight]

Someone in a thread mentioned "Aren't there any nice well-to-do black men in Atlanta?" for these single women, instead of all the mystery Nigerian princes? I have an old Match.com account I hadn't used in over 8 years, but I went in and set it to show me single men in the 50-55 age range in Atlanta. I have been getting morning emails for about a month now, which was just a test out of curiosity to see who's out there.

I am getting some pretty fine-looking black men, and they appear to be doing OK. Equal number of white men. They may not be millionaires, but you never know. I'm just thinking that the Kenyas, Claudias and Porshas of the world will never find someone to meet their standards if all they are looking for is money, money and more money.

[Taylorh2]

ZaldamoWilder:  I just googled collagen tabs.  I'm disappointed to see that they contain animal products. Beef & chicken

 

I'm vegetarian.

[ZaldamoWilder]

ZaldamoWilder:  I just googled collagen tabs.  I'm disappointed to see that they contain animal products. Beef & chicken

 

I'm vegetarian.

 

:(   sorry lovie, I could've included that huh?  yeah, the amino acid/protein thing, it's pretty much like gelatin.   You wanna know how else you could build an anti aging skin and body shield though?  Tomatoes (the vitamin c spurs the collagen already in your skin).  I dunno if vegetarians eat  honey, but that. Blueberries, any berries really, yogurt (antioxidants).  Wrinkle grooves also need fat to fill em out, you can do that naturally with almonds and avocado.  <-- see all that there? you just made a salad ;)  For protein you could do something versatile like clear whey powder to mix in liquids.  It's a cheese by product so it's vegetarian, but not vegan.

 

The cashier at the pharmacy desk yesterday made me pull out my license when I told her my date of birth so it'd be a personal struggle for me to give them pills up lol, but come back and keep me posted on that other stuff.

[luckyroll3]

I went out and bought the collagen pills after you first mentioned them, ZaldamoWilder, but I haven't started to take them yet.  I think I was a bit intimidated by the number of pills you're supposed to take a day combined with the size.  Plus I hate pills.  I just switched to gummy vitamins because of that!  Do you actually take 4 a day?

[ZaldamoWilder]

I went out and bought the collagen pills after you first mentioned them, ZaldamoWilder, but I haven't started to take them yet.  I think I was a bit intimidated by the number of pills you're supposed to take a day combined with the size.  Plus I hate pills.  I just switched to gummy vitamins because of that!  Do you actually take 4 a day?

 

Bayybeeee? Mama knows. Them things aren't for punks.  On the bottle I had, the dosage was actually 5 a day, TWICE a day.  Gurl, BYE!

 

They make a liquid form that I had to switch to called Puritan's Pride (below).  Now, the label says delicious grape flavor.  I'm warning you in advance, disregard the word delicious....and for that matter, the word grape.  Lol.   It's a quadrillion times more tolerable than the pills though.   I might be all kinds of in the wrong thread right now, so I'll getcha in a PM if cooks has to usher my behind outta here  :P  

 

Purpleandwhitebottlepurplecap, mkaybye! lol.

 

http://www.puritan.com/

[walnutqueen]

I don't really believe in all that vitamin/supplement stuff, but if you're looking for really good pure ingediences manufactured in a socially responsible way, you could check out Andrew Lessman's stuff on HSN or his ProCaps website.  I've bought them for my Mum and she swears by them.  I even took some, even though every vitamin pill kills me, and these didn't bother me one whit.  His Healthy Hair, Skin & Nails has been around for decades, and has bazillions of consumers who swear by it.  The guy sells more vitamins on re-order (when he's not even on TV) than during his appearances, and he's all about the science.   Just a thought, because some of his stuff seems to have given my old Mum a second life ...

[Watermelon]

All my vitamins are of the gummy variety.  Vitamin D is SUCH a winner, no matter the company.

[cooksdelight]

I tried the gummy fiber things. OMG.... thankfully I live alone and my cats and dog didn't mind the noise. :)

[luckyroll3]

Bayybeeee? Mama knows. Them things aren't for punks.  On the bottle I had, the dosage was actually 5 a day, TWICE a day.  Gurl, BYE!

 

They make a liquid form that I had to switch to called Puritan's Pride (below).  Now, the label says delicious grape flavor.  I'm warning you in advance, disregard the word delicious....and for that matter, the word grape.  Lol.   It's a quadrillion times more tolerable than the pills though.   I might be all kinds of in the wrong thread right now, so I'll getcha in a PM if cooks has to usher my behind outta here  :P  

 

Purpleandwhitebottlepurplecap, mkaybye! lol.

 

http://www.puritan.com/

Thanks lady!  I'm on the hunt.  My friend has found a powder she claims is tasteless. 

[renatae]

What Fresh Hell, on 27 Apr 2015 - 9:43 PM, said:

    That's fascinating. I'm from Ohio and we get pretty snowy, I would have thought most of Kentucky would, too. Maybe the southern area?

    Just checked, Lexington's not that far south.

 

 

Swankie can tell you better about current weather there, because I've been gone since the 70's, but before about sometime in the 80's, snow below a line beginning around Columbus was a rare sight, indeed, right across the states to the east coast. There was rarely snow in DC, for instance, and when it happened, it was basically a dusting. The climate has definitely changed lately, though, with some occasional snow storms, and even if there is no snow, there are often ice storms. Nevertheless, south of Columbus is still a different climate than north of it.

[ToukieSmith]

Is Kentucky a nice place to visit?  This conversation has made me think about vacation.

[cooksdelight]

Is Kentucky a nice place to visit?  This conversation has made me think about vacation.

I love Louisville. I used to travel there for business back in 2000-02, and there's so much to do. Good restaurants, too, and my sales rep who'd meet me there knew all the best ones. I haven't been to Lexington, but I have friends who live there and to hear them talk, they have a wonderful city. You can visit Apollo while you're there. :)

[ToukieSmith]

I love Louisville. I used to travel there for business back in 2000-02, and there's so much to do. Good restaurants, too, and my sales rep who'd meet me there knew all the best ones. I haven't been to Lexington, but I have friends who live there and to hear them talk, they have a wonderful city. You can visit Apollo while you're there. :)

 

I wonder if I could get on the visitor's list?  Its almost worth it to experience all that is Apollo in person.  I imagine him talking me to death about the sector of the time scale while trying to flirt with me.  This made me laugh when I read it.  I will be chuckling all day to myself.

 

Thanks for the tip.  I am going to look into Lexington and Nashville.  I like the idea of considering off the beaten path, obscure places.

[ToukieSmith]

I don't twitter but if you wanted to ask a movie star you could twitter to Jennifer Garner. I think she is from Kentucky and from what I read she loves her home state. She is very active in reading programs for kids. If you have access to Southern Living Magazine they did an interview with her recently. And really, if you can look at some Southern Living magazines they have a LOT of information about many southern states, what to do, where to shop, and many off the beaten path ideas since you brought that up.

 

Here is the main web page:   http://www.southernliving.com/magazine

 

And this is what comes up on their Kentucky search:  http://www.southernliving.com/search/site/Kentucky

 

You might do well to look at the library for back issues. They have a section state by state listing events for each month and also their ads have many packages for travel and shopping.

 

 

eta Blerg!! My mind must have been on a different time scale sector or I lied. Or maybe now I am lying about lying (tmNeNe) Jennifer Garner is from West Virginia. Oops! But West Virginia has casinos that my Northern Virginia cousin seems to be fond of if you are into that.

 

You may be thinking of Ashley Judd.  Thanks for referring me to SL.  I did not realize it was time for the Kentucky Derby.  I love those hats!

Edited May 1, 2015 by ToukieSmith

[nb360]

This is completely off topic, but can I say how proud I am of the Baltimore state attorney Marilyn Mosby! It's great to see an accomplished, CONFIDENT black woman handling her business!

[cooksdelight]

Hey, that's what this thread is for, off-topic chit chat. :)

[cooksdelight]

Question: If we were to design and sell a t-shirt here at PTV that shows you are a Housewives fan, what would you like it to say? And would you buy one? 

 

"Fix it Jesus!" or "Who gonna check me, boo?"

 

Give me your ideas.

[luckyroll3]

Question: If we were to design and sell a t-shirt here at PTV that shows you are a Housewives fan, what would you like it to say? And would you buy one? 

 

"Fix it Jesus!" or "Who gonna check me, boo?"

 

Give me your ideas.

"Check my warrents, bitch!"  It doesn't get any better than that!  But I also like "Who gonna check me, boo?"