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Small Talk: The Regency Bar


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(edited)

I'm probably not the only one who is experiencing an extended delay when switching from one thread to another so I hope my accidental discovery helps all of you too.   If you keep more than one tab open in your browser when you're on the forum and pop on over to that other tab when the Windows "I'm thinking" circle keeps swirling, it will stop immediately.  Then you can just switch back over to the open forum tab.  It's working for me so I hope it works for you too.  

 

UPDATE: More good news -  Switching to another tab briefly also works when there's a delay in getting a notifications list or when you're posting/editing and the forum doesn't seem to be responding when you're trying to post or save an edited post.

Edited by AnnA
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AnnA, If you are having that happen just on this site, there is a bug thread to report when it happens. Dave is trying to tweak ads that are hindering the flow of the site. He needs the URL of the ad on the page when this happens to you. You might see a topic already started here,  http://forums.previously.tv/forum/698-bugs/    or you can start a new topic to ask about your specific problem. 

 

Thank you.

 

I did post on that thread when he had it as an announcement but didn't know there was a "bug" thread.

 

It seems OK now.  Maybe that's because we just had a bad thunderstorm roll through and I lost power for about 10 minutes.   

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(edited)

I just have to release a little bit, I haven't posted too much, but still like the heck out of everyone's posts but a relative passed away in the middle of the night.  I think I'm still processing atm...

 

ETA: I apologize for hijacking, I just needed a quick place to, maybe, vent...

Edited by CyberJawa1986
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I just have to release a little bit, I haven't posted too much, but still like the heck out of everyone's posts but a relative passed away in the middle of the night.  I think I'm still processing atm...

 

ETA: I apologize for hijacking, I just needed a quick place to, maybe, vent...

Very sorry to hear this.
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I just have to release a little bit, I haven't posted too much, but still like the heck out of everyone's posts but a relative passed away in the middle of the night. I think I'm still processing atm...

ETA: I apologize for hijacking, I just needed a quick place to, maybe, vent...

I'm glad you feel you can vent here. We all need a safe place. My thoughts and much white light is sent your way.

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(edited)

I just have to release a little bit, I haven't posted too much, but still like the heck out of everyone's posts but a relative passed away in the middle of the night. I think I'm still processing atm...

ETA: I apologize for hijacking, I just needed a quick place to, maybe, vent...

((((hugs))))

No hijacking, this is why this thread is here.

Edited by imjagain
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(edited)

Thank you for the comments everyone, I appreciate the replies.  As the day's gone by, I think everything finally, or more or less, sat in...

 

 

...I'll be on PTV hiatus for a few weeks, but I'll be saving all the digital  thoughts, hugs, and shoulder pats in case I ever need to share them back with you awesome guys.   

Edited by CyberJawa1986
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Thank you for the comments everyone, I appreciate the replies.  As the day's gone by, I think everything finally, or more or less, sat in...

 

 

...I'll be on PTV hiatus for a few weeks, but I'll be saving all the digital  thoughts, hugs, and shoulder pats in case I ever need to share them back with you awesome guys.   

 

We'll be thinking about you.

 

Hopefully, you'll make it back for the Reunion.

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Thank YOU for being brave enough to face that nonsense down in the first place. It had been decades since I'd seen that particular combination of misinformation and outright denial ("well MY friend got it from just kissing because MY friends aren't careless slutty slut sluts"). 

 

It's like the Seinfeld episode with the tractor story...

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(edited)

For people that are unaware, when someone tests posiive, the local health department is notified.. The health department then notifies the CDC. It's anonymous, but it is reported along with the mode of transmission, which doctors try to determine.

  I don't deny that it is theoretically possible to get HIV from kissing. It is possible. Just like it is possible  that you will struck and killed by a meteor while in your back yard.  There has NOT been a confirmed case of it happening, just one possible case in nearly 35 years.

  As someone who lives with a family, including a spouse, who are all negative, I've always kept close tabs on transmission risks.  If  a doctor or health department believed a case had developed via kissing, it would be big news for the medical community, and it would be looked at and followed up very closely. 

Frankly, many people don't know how they got it, many are in denial, and many lie about it, because of stigma. Many people who are newly diagnosed also have little knowledge of the actual facts about transmission and might be genuinely mistaken in their assumptions of how they contracted the virus. 

  Misinformation helps no one and only makes life much harder for someone like me and for my family.

  25 years, still healthy, and I've managed NOT  to infect anyone. Imagine that!

  My first husband, the man who gave it to me, is also still alive and well. Lets not go back to the 1980's again 

Edited by JennyMominFL
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For people that are unaware, when someone tests posiive, the local health department is notified.. The health department then notify the CDC . It's anonymous, but it is reported along with the mode of transmission, which doctors try to determine.

  I don't deny that it is theoretically possible to get HIV from kissing. It is possible. Just like it is possible  that you will struck and killed by a meteor while in your back yard.  There has NOT been a confirmed case of it happening, just one possible one in nearly 35 years,

  As someone who lives with a family, including a spouse, who are all negative, I've always kept close tabs on transmission risks.  If  a doctor or health department believed a case had developed via kissing, it would be big news for the medical commnuity, and it would be looked at and followed up very closely. 

Frankly, many people don't know how they got it, many are in denial, and many lie about it, because of stigma. Many people who are newly diagnosed also have little knowledge of the actual facts about transmission and might be genuinely mistaken in their assumptions of how they comtracted the virus. 

  Misinformation helps no one and only makes life much harder for someone like me and for my family.

  25 years, still healthy, and I've managed NOT  to infect anyone. Imagine that!

  My first husband, the man who gave it to me, is also still alive and well. Lets not go back to the 1980's again

You are so brave and your response was awesome. You handled it with more grace than I would have.

When I first read the original post, I immediately thought of you and hoped you would weigh in, because you have shared some of your story with our community. My first thought was that such misinformation would be very frustrating to you, after having lived through the early years of fear, judgment, discrimination, and quite frankly hate by some. I am clearly misinformed myself, because I had zero idea that it was possible with all we now know for someone to still casually throw out such a story, let alone believe it.

Hugs to you!

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(edited)

You are so brave and your response was awesome. You handled it with more grace than I would have.

When I first read the original post, I immediately thought of you and hoped you would weigh in, because you have shared some of your story with our community. My first thought was that such misinformation would be very frustrating to you, after having lived through the early years of fear, judgment, discrimination, and quite frankly hate by some. I am clearly misinformed myself, because I had zero idea that it was possible with all we now know for someone to still casually throw out such a story, let alone believe it.

Hugs to you!

When I come across ignorance, and I mean that in the literal sense,  someone who just doesn't know, it's no so hard. I don't expect the average person to be an expert on  the transmission  of HIV. I don't mind explaining things to someone who just doesn't know, but has an open mind. Most people do fall into that category.

    I've seen some genuine hate and judgment, but not as much as others. I am seen as a victim. A wrong was done to me. I am morally in the right. I don't deserve it etc. etc.. Of course, by default that means that some DO deserve it. They judge the gay man next to me as "guilty", because he didn't get it like I did.  There is still so much judgement out there. There is a still a lot of "It's your fault" thinking , and it's wrong. I am no better or worse than anyone else with HIV. No one deserves  it. 

It's sad that we have come so far, but still have so far to go.  I just can't get too angry. I have better things to do with my time. 

Edited by JennyMominFL
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When I come across ignorance, and I mean that in the literal sense,  someone who just doesn't know, it's no so hard. I don't expect the average person to be an expert on  the transmission  of HIV. I don't mind explaining things to someone who just doesn't know, but has an open mind. Most people do fall into that category.

    I've seen some genuine hate and judgment, but not as much as others. I am seen as a victim. A wrong was done to me. I am morally in the right. I don't deserve it etc. etc.. Of course, by default that means that some DO deserve it. They judge the gay man next to me as "guilty", because he didn't get it like I did.  There is still so much judgement out there. There is a still a lot of "It's your fault" thinking , and it's wrong. I am no better or worse than anyone else with HIV. No one deserves  it. 

It's sad that we have come so far, but still have so far to go.  I just can't get too angry. I have better things to do with my time. 

IMO, just mine, the initial poster believed her friends explanation, even though it was/is wrong, and was not coming from a place of judgment or hatred, just a lack of information. You handled it in a fair/kind way IMO. Keep up the good fight and keep educating others with the correct information. Hugs!

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IMO, just mine, the initial poster believed her friends explanation, even though it was/is wrong, and was not coming from a place of judgment or hatred, just a lack of information. You handled it in a fair/kind way IMO. Keep up the good fight and keep educating others with the correct information. Hugs!

I believe that too. 

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I just want to clear up that when I made my post I wasn't aiming it at anyone who has contracted HIV.  I was merely relating what an acquaintance has told me and my friends.  I was not intending to start a crusade.  Also, I am not ignorant and am very HIV aware as I have had more than a few family members and school mates live with HIV and sadly die from full blown AIDS.  So please don't make it seem as though I was trying to be disrespectful to anyone and I certainly didn't attack anyone.  Please don't take my posts so personally.  I was only relating a personal story to the RHoNY episode. 

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I just want to clear up that when I made my post I wasn't aiming it at anyone who has contracted HIV.  I was merely relating what an acquaintance has told me and my friends.  I was not intending to start a crusade.  Also, I am not ignorant and am very HIV aware as I have had more than a few family members and school mates live with HIV and sadly die from full blown AIDS.  So please don't make it seem as though I was trying to be disrespectful to anyone and I certainly didn't attack anyone.  Please don't take my posts so personally.  I was only relating a personal story to the RHoNY episode. 

I don't think you were attacking anyone and I do believe your friend told you she contracted it orally and you accepted her word on that. There is still a lot of misinformation about HIV out there and the medical/scientific communities are still discovering new things about this horrible illness, so information can change without the general public even being aware of it but those infected tend to keep abreast of all the changes because their lives depend on it.  JMO

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I didn't see your posts as an attack and I did even defend your right to say them. I was not using the term ignorant to refer to you on the whole, just when it comes to knowledge of HIV transmission modes. There are plenty of diseases(and other things) that I am ignorant of myself. I also believe you when you say that your friend believes she contracted the virus via kissing.  I just know that if a doctor did believe that was the case he would be required to report that fact to the health department and then on to the CDC ,as this would be a very big deal. 

Honestly most people newly infected with HIV are far more concerned about getting proper treatment, than in narrowing down specifically what the mode of transmission was.  For myself, as someone with an HIV negative spouse, it's very important for me to be aware of the risks to him.

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(edited)

I don't think you were attacking anyone and I do believe your friend told you she contracted it orally and you accepted her word on that. There is still a lot of misinformation about HIV out there and the medical/scientific communities are still discovering new things about this horrible illness, so information can change without the general public even being aware of it but those infected tend to keep abreast of all the changes because their lives depend on it.  JMO

There's also a lot of stuff out there that is known in the AIDS community that the general public finds out later.  Scientists  and doctors have conducted tests for years that show that someone with an undetectable viral load can not pass on the virus. Many people have been told this informations off the record, but it's still not official .

Edited by JennyMominFL
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There's also a lot of stuff out there that is known in the AIDS community that the general public finds out later.  Scientists  and doctors have conducted tests for years that show that someone with an undetectable viral load can not pass on the virus. Many people have been told this informations off the record, but it's sill not official .

Very true and there are many variables, because each person infected brings something different to the fight both physically and mentally, which can effect how HIV affects their body/mind. So treatment and public knowledge, like most diseases/infections, is ever changing and always developing as is the disease/infection itself. The first to know are the medical professionals, then the patients and finally it trickles down to the general public.

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I went back and read the posts on the other thread and this thread and I have to come out a little on Swankie's view. It might not have been meant as harsh towards her, but some of the posts were kind of harsh towards her. They came across, to me, like some were belittling her thoughts, among yourselves, while she was right here, instead of trying to give out information.  Not all of the posters, but there were a few.

I was probably one of them, and I apologize. Passion and all that. Or could I say I had had too many dirty martini's? Either way, didn't mean to offend.

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Soccerrrrr !

Nooo, Top Chef, Top Chef !

Soccerrrr, soccerrrrrr !

Grrr Top Chef, Top Chef !

Soccerrrrr !

 

Disco!!!

Ah ah ah ah staying alive, staying alive ah ah ah ah Staying aliveeeeeeee

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I've been checking in and liking posts here and there, so its safe to say I'm back.

 

Everything's fine.  

 

To explain my shock about my relative from the other day.  My relative was older, and had numerous health issues, and with a hard few years the last few years, but she'd always fight back.  Our family in general, I think we were all surprised that, she didn't fight and come back this time.

 

And I wanted to say thanks again to everyone.

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Good to see you back, Cyberjawa1986.  I rarely post in the other RHoNY threads anymore (too many circular arguments and repetitive contention for my tastes), but I always check in here for the real deal.  Just today my ailing old Mum got even worse news from her useless docs; I am starting to think that her next planned visit will be her last, despite her amazing ability to overcome all the ailments and injuries life has lobbed at her.  I am feeling very fragile right now, and more than a little afraid of my own morbid thoughts.

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Good to see you back, Cyberjawa1986. I rarely post in the other RHoNY threads anymore (too many circular arguments and repetitive contention for my tastes), but I always check in here for the real deal. Just today my ailing old Mum got even worse news from her useless docs; I am starting to think that her next planned visit will be her last, despite her amazing ability to overcome all the ailments and injuries life has lobbed at her. I am feeling very fragile right now, and more than a little afraid of my own morbid thoughts.

I'm so sorry walnutqueen. From your short post, she sounds like a fighter. I'm afraid you have to be one now too. My thoughts are with you and I'm sending white light to surround both you and her.

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(edited)

Thank you so much for your kindness, Rhetorica - it came at the perfect time for me. I am gutted right now, but I'm sure my Mum and I have another rally or two left in our repertoire.  :-)

Edited by walnutqueen
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Thank you so much for your kindness, Rhetorica - it came at the perfect time for me. I am gutted right now, but I'm sure my Mum and I have another rally or two left in our repertoire.  :-)

Big hugs to you, Walnut Queen.  I just finished a 5 year journey on that road and my heart aches for you.  Love your Mum with all your heart and don't be hard on yourself.   The latter part is easier said than done, I know.  You're the best.

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(edited)

Good to see you back, Cyberjawa1986. I rarely post in the other RHoNY threads anymore (too many circular arguments and repetitive contention for my tastes), but I always check in here for the real deal. Just today my ailing old Mum got even worse news from her useless docs; I am starting to think that her next planned visit will be her last, despite her amazing ability to overcome all the ailments and injuries life has lobbed at her. I am feeling very fragile right now, and more than a little afraid of my own morbid thoughts.

Hey walnutqueen Sorry to here about your mom. I'm sending you positive vibes. I know that it's hard but, know I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

I had actually decided to turn off ptv on my phone for a bit (too much for me right now.)but checked it first, glad I did. I saw you posted and hadn't seen around too much,wanted see what you had to say. Just glad I could say hey.

((Hugs))

Edited by imjagain
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You are ALL just the best people - I am so very honored to know you, and to be able to share with you, my friends.  Thanks so much for your kind words of support.  It brings the GOOD tears to my eyes.

 

"We all need somebody to lean on ..."

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(edited)

You are ALL just the best people - I am so very honored to know you, and to be able to share with you, my friends.  Thanks so much for your kind words of support.  It brings the GOOD tears to my eyes.

 

"We all need somebody to lean on ..."

You're in my thoughts and prayers (physical, mental, and virtual), WalnutQueen.

 

Like I said, I saved all the virtual love from everyone, just in case I ever had to share some back.

Edited by CyberJawa1986
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Hey, thanks again, Rhet, Kiki. imj,  BookE, Cyber, stewed, et al - virtual love is the only human kind I'm getting these days!   I think I got a mild goodbye hug from my Mum the last time she visited - maybe about 3 years ago or so?   Needless to say, I've become quite accustomed to the lack of human contact.  THIS here is the only lurve I need, and it is far better than anything I can remember.  Well. actually I get a whole lotta love from my animals, but that's a given!  :-)

 

Speaking of animals, it would appear that my raccoon who thinks she's a kitty is in the cat bed gazing at me lovingly through the window, and waiting for her treats quite patiently (and very early, for once), so I'm going to give her a hot dog AND an egg, just because y'all have made me feel so very special!   Gotta pay the good stuff forward, eh.

 

Good thoughts all around, and to everyone.

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Hey, thanks again, Rhet, Kiki. imj,  BookE, Cyber, stewed, et al - virtual love is the only human kind I'm getting these days!   I think I got a mild goodbye hug from my Mum the last time she visited - maybe about 3 years ago or so?   Needless to say, I've become quite accustomed to the lack of human contact.  THIS here is the only lurve I need, and it is far better than anything I can remember.  Well. actually I get a whole lotta love from my animals, but that's a given!  :-)

 

Speaking of animals, it would appear that my raccoon who thinks she's a kitty is in the cat bed gazing at me lovingly through the window, and waiting for her treats quite patiently (and very early, for once), so I'm going to give her a hot dog AND an egg, just because y'all have made me feel so very special!   Gotta pay the good stuff forward, eh.

 

Good thoughts all around, and to everyone.

Hope all is well, WQ. 

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So, minus this thread, I think I'll be taking a break from the NY section.  I love the snark, but i hate seeing my fellow posters go at each other.  It's part of the reason I stayed out of the BH thread for a wee bit.

 

Walnutqueen, again, I hope all is going well!

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I've been avoiding the other threads as well.  I'm tired of the pages upon pages of repetitive strife and sniping.  People in this thread are so nice to each other ...  how hard can it be to observe some common courtesy and avoid arguments?   :-(

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Mya Stone, if I contributed to the moderators' grief, I am truly sorry.

Ditto Myra.  I kind of dreaded this episode all season since we saw the trailer, as I thought it might be the one to bring out some major passion. I'm going to try and cool it. 

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(edited)

The "Don't be All, Like, Uncool" (S7, E 15) thread has been closed twice...some members say they are no longer participating...could this be why? Are we being like, uncool?

Flaming & Pie Fights & Troll

By MISS EM@NNERS

Flaming is the hostile and insulting interaction between Internet users. Heated emotional exchanges that quickly go back and forth (pie fights) are found in forums, on Blogs and message boards.

Flaming and pie fights come into play when emotions get out of hand due to opposing opinions. The instigators of many flame wars and pie fights are trolls (troublemakers) who live to kick up trouble.

Those who tend to flame or be involved in pie fights typically have their ego invested in being on what they perceive as the right side of the argument at hand. The fact is we can’t change anyone and we all have opinions. The difference between constructive sharing of opinions and discourse is when name calling and profanities get added to the discussion. Once that happens all points of view have lost credibility.

When involved in emotional discussions realize everyone has their own opinion and it is not your job to try to change them. It won’t happen. And, once the discussion gets to the point that it is out of control and we are more into hurling insults than talking about points of view in an adult way, it’s best to just walk away.

Folks are overly bold behind these screens and many times will type things they wouldn’t dare have “a pair” to say in person. Know that and ignore those who choose to communicate in that way just to prove their point. You can avoid flame wars and pie fights by hanging out in areas where there are like minds that know how to communicate civilly. Life’s too short… why get aggravated by trolls?

http://www.netmanners.com/206/flaming-pie-fights/

Edited by talula
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