S03.E01: Instafight

[Jennifersdc]

More of this, producers -- pretty please-

 

Oh - that just made my weekend.

[MrsRafaelBarba]

Cro-Mag is trolling Universities for women now? 

 

Swore I heard it mentioned that Blondie just completed her final exams. 

Why do I keep imagining Christian Bale(as Patrick Bateman) saying this to Kristen at SUR?

 

"You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you and play around with your blood." 

 

The sista with the blonde hair is gorgeous, yet buried in the sea of mediocrity in the group shot.

Saw what you did there show.

 

Busboy and Ambiguously Gay Sandoval, these two have tossed each others salads in the past. 

 

JMO

[ScoobieDoobs]

So Scoobie - who were you on TWoP? We have more leeway it seems here - re the dreaded Board on Boards.

 

You know, it feels like it's been so long since that thing closed down I forgot who I was over there.  I was Scoobie there until that crazy lunatic woman TWoP Howard banned me for calling Ramona "the Moaner".  Oh the horrors, right?  Then I was swineinny.  Anyhoo, I can't say how thrilled I am this show is back.  I've already watched this ep twice on On Demand cuz I'm too lazy to Tivo or DVR.

 

Over at TWoP, I never believed for a second that Stassi was gonna stay in NYC & give up this show.  No fuckin' way in hell was she ever gonna do dat.  Big surprise that Lisa "forgave" Stass.  Like her or hate huh, this show would not be the same without Stassi.  They desperately need her here spewing her vitriol & hate.  And I think her time in NYC has made her even more hateful.  Awesome!!!

 

Cro-Mag is trolling Universities for women now?

 

Sheesh, has Ape-face gotten a huge over-blown ego or was he always this way & I just didn't notice?  OK, I get that maybe he was laying it on thick for the cameras by saying the shit about not being able to improve upon perfection, but c'mon.  I mean really.  

 

He's a greasy, swollen, roided-out, monkey-faced moron, who probably spends every penny he makes & has absolutely zero future prospects.  Er, and anyone forget that he's a pathological liar, a sex addict & just about the shittiest, most disloyal friend you could possibly have -- ever?  Wow, sounds great, right? His attempts at being conceited are laughable, but it's actually kinda sad.  It's like when Kristen used to brag about (in the first season) how she & her group of numbskull friends were just sooooo good-looking.  I notice she doesn't do dat shit anymore.

 

Don't assume the college girl is stupid just cuz she's young.  Anyone notice her giving idiot Jax the stinkeye when he said "we've all lied & cheated"?  She looked stunned when he said that.  We'll see how long this girl sticks around with STD Jax.  Oy, Jax, hun, lemme tell ya, a greasy bartender crawling with STD's & pushing 40, ain't exactly a catch.  But his delusions that he is a catch do make this show fun, eh?

 

Man, you know this is gonna be a good season cuz Scheana is the one making sense (suppressing chortles & giggles).  I'm diggin' those Scheana eye rolls -- especially with the fake mink eyelashes.  Oh & btw, I didn't believe for a second when FI Tom said to Scheana he was kidding, that he didn't wanna cry cuz he was worried bout his eyelashes.  Kidding?  Fuck no, FI Tom.  We know you wanted to rip those mink eyelashes right off Scheana & try 'em on yourself.

 

Smooches, Scheana-

 

http://www.bravotv.com/media/images/users/kimmoreau/2014/11/12-scheana-eyes.gif

 

Still trying to figure out why anyone -- man or woman -- would ever need to do this, but it is nevertheless 8 billion kinds of awesome-

 

http://www.bravotv.com/media/images/users/kimmoreau/2014/11/4-sandoval-shaving.gif

Edited November 8, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[MrsRafaelBarba]

Blondie's surprise at Cro-Mag's cheating comment was odd, since she knows about the other chick he's smashing.

 

Wish Lisa would hire a really young and hot guy to work the bar at SUR. 

 

So I can watch him seethe each week.

[Jennifersdc]

Believe it or not swineinny was on my list. I was also thinking Drogoshorse (but I think he/she might actually be dead after our last VP drinking game).

Unfortunately Howard sometimes lacked a sense of humor.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Ah well, TWoP is a distant memory now. Glad there's nobody here like that Howard creep. Anyhoo, I really wanna like FI Tom, I really do, except I can't forget that he's a cheater & a liar. A really big liar. Kind of a deal breaker for me. I'm not even sure he's such a great friend -- is he?

[Box305]

 

Unfortunately Howard sometimes lacked a sense of humor.

 

Sometimes? You're being nice.  

 

Anyway, is anyone else bothered by Scheana's speaking voice as much as I am? I seriously want to rip my eardrums out whenever she talks. How on earth can someone be around her for more than five minutes?

[goofygirl]

Oh Lord, it's baaack.   I thought MAYBE the cast had grown up a bit, but no frickin' way!  Can't QUITE figure out why Kristin keeps  dogging out FI Tom since she too; got caught cheating with Monkey Boy.

Seriously couldn't see StASSi going away forever because otherwise she'd melt into oblivion.  I wonder if Bravo's gonna give Lisa another show that features Pump.  Cause really? It might be better than this crew.  LOVE the snark, though!

[Matteo]

I think FI Tom shaves his forehead because he thinks it helps exfoliate and get rid of the dead skin, lol.  I really don't see any other reason unless he's a closet Wolfman.

 

Glad this show is back!

[beaker73]

I think my favorite line from the previews is, "I don't know what I did to you, but I'll take a Pinot Grigio." Do you think Stassi stays up at night writing these one liners? I feel dirty watching this show (like Kristen levels of dirty), but god help me--I cannot quite these chuckleheads.

[ScoobieDoobs]

I simply must find a way to use that line in my life -- and use it every day.  Thanks, Stass.

[ScoobieDoobs]

I think FI Tom shaves his forehead because he thinks it helps exfoliate and get rid of the dead skin, lol.  I really don't see any other reason unless he's a closet Wolfman.

 

I was thinkin' that too -- but that theory doesn't hold water.  I shave the rest of my face every day & nothin' feels exfoliated.  Or maybe FI Tom is just dopey & thinks he's exfoliating when he really ain't doin' shit.  Or he's more like his ape-face bud & really has got a hairy forehead.  Anyhoo, this image is burned in my brain & kinda does define this show, don't it?

 

http://www.bravotv.com/media/images/users/kimmoreau/2014/11/4-sandoval-shaving.gif

Edited November 8, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[fliptopbox]

Stassi keeps saying she won't work at Sur anymore....but I do wonder if she ends up getting a gig at Pump, with Schwartz? Doesn't seem like she has put much thought into what she will do for work since returning to LA and I can see Lisa talking her into it. Her 'here and there' modeling career probably won't pay the bills. Unless her new man is her sugar daddy. Or maybe her it's still her real daddy? Who knows?

[urusai]

Please send that gif of Tom to Teresa over in Jersey. If anyone needs their forehead shaved, it's her.

[lunastartron]

I see Kristen managed to find a "boyfriend" who elevates the hoyay quotient of this program even more than FI Tom. Did it appear to anyone else as if he was tweaking during that dinner with Scheana? I'll extend him the benefit of the doubt, however, if he really is 22. That has greater legitimacy as an excuse for idiocy than any rationalizations to which most of these other idiots can lay claim. Considering the age difference, I also assume he is simply exploiting Kristen for screen time; can't fault anyone for making use of her soap operatic instability.

 

Stassi is obviously awful and sociopathic, but she occasionally does deliver a genuinely funny line among all of the rehearsed zingers she recites every episode. Her deconstruction of thinking Kristen was "edgy" back at 19 and realizing now that Kristen is just pathetic got a chuckle from me.

[ScoobieDoobs]

What got a chuckle from me was seeing again (from the clip from last season) Ariana saying in her deadly dull monotone, "I'm smarter than you.  I'm prettier than you.  Get over it."  See, I don't even think Arianna gets the irony of the idiocy of dat.  Er, isn't it the kinda thing you would have outgrown saying when you're 13?  And Ariana says it oh-so-proudly in all her super seriousness?  I'm kinda thinkin' FI Tom & Ariana deserve each other.  And if their being together bugs Kristen & makes her more jittery & wackier than usual, well then, that should be entertaining for us.

Edited November 9, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[BogoGog24]

I wonder how much of it is scripted though. I mean I'm sure some of it is real. But I'd be curious to know how they act when cameras aren't rolling. Like if someone has ever been to SUR when they weren't filming to see how they acted versus when they were filming. Most of the talking heads are read from cue cards so all those clever one liners aren't even written by the people saying them. I wouldn't be surprised if in real life a lot of these people are sociopathic dicks but they just exaggerate it for the show. I've also heard that producers will reshoot scenes, tell them to act in certain ways, etc. After all, aren't many of these people aspiring actors? They all have varying degrees of horrible personalities, yes, but I take it with a grain of salt as to how much of it is real. It's a little ridiculous sometimes even for them.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Trying to figure out what's scripted is tricky. I just assume most, if not everything is. The prob is they're all terrible actors. When they sound particularly deadish, that's a pretty good indicator they're being fed lines -- or er, "coached". But all of them except Stass sound deadish most of the time, don't they?

I finally figured out why Stass looks so much older. She got Ramona's hair. On a 58 year old it looks OK, but on a chick in her 20's? Um, not so much.

Edited November 9, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[SamIAm]

So Stassi's boyfriend is Patrick, who used to be on Cosmo radio "Cocktails with Patrick." I used to have a long commute, so I caught his show once or twice a week. I always thought he was kind of a jackass. Sirius XM shut down that station and he got some sort of sports radio show. He claims that he had to relocate for that job, but he is full of shit. A few years ago he dated another actress and moved to LA for her and his show was conveniently relocated there then too. The thing about satellite radio shows is that they can be done from anywhere and they often are. So tis is my long winded way of saying that Stassi is only back in town for the show.

[featherhead]

So Stassi's boyfriend is Patrick, who used to be on Cosmo radio "Cocktails with Patrick." I used to have a long commute, so I caught his show once or twice a week. I always thought he was kind of a jackass. Sirius XM shut down that station and he got some sort of sports radio show. He claims that he had to relocate for that job, but he is full of shit. A few years ago he dated another actress and moved to LA for her and his show was conveniently relocated there then too. The thing about satellite radio shows is that they can be done from anywhere and they often are. So tis is my long winded way of saying that Stassi is only back in town for the show.

We all know Stassi has a type. Jaxasses!

[ScoobieDoobs]

Wish Lisa would hire a really young and hot guy to work the bar at SUR.

So I can watch him seethe each week.

 

As I posted before, I think it's so strange how Ape-face's ego has gotten so nuts.  Maybe I just have a short term memory for this show & I've forgotten how he was before, but I don't remember him thinking so highly of himself.  Well, maybe he thought he was hot, but he knew he didn't have much else to offer.  The thing is, he really ain't even that hot anymore.  I know the look of someone doin' roids & he got dat look.  Sweaty & swollen.  And his face is looking really worn & hardened.

 

If Lisa did hire a model type guy, the diff would be really apparent, that not only isn't he hot, he's not even especially attractive & he looks a good decade older than the rest of the cast.  Oh, speaking of age, what was it that got FI Tom angry enough to wanna hit Muppet James?  Was it when da muppet said FI Tom is 31?  Hit a nerve there?  FI Tom sensitive bout his age?  Hmmmmm.

 

The thing about satellite radio shows is that they can be done from anywhere and they often are. So tis is my long winded way of saying that Stassi is only back in town for the show.

 

Thanks for the background on Stass's a-hole boyfriend.  No surprises.  We've seen her taste in men.  Ugh.  She sure knows how to pick 'em.  And she sorta stalked this latest one to nab him.  This one sounds like a real winner.  I see a dramatic breakup a-comin', with tons of tears, tantrums & whining.  Ah, but this is Stassi, so would we expect anything else?  Maybe she'll break up with him cuz he won't celebrate her birthday for a month.

Edited November 10, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[calmdown]

Jax saying he did Tom a favour by sleeping with Kristen is fucking delusional. Just like his "perfection" comment. News flash Jax, you're 45 years old, you're fat and your chunky sweaters are not cute.

[Ubiquitous]

Anyway, is anyone else bothered by Scheana's speaking voice as much as I am? I seriously want to rip my eardrums out whenever she talks. How on earth can someone be around her for more than five minutes?

I think it's called "vocal fry". Yeah, it is annoying.

 

I think FI Tom shaves his forehead because he thinks it helps exfoliate and get rid of the dead skin, lol. 

In the season one reunion, I think, FI Tom said as much.

 

Trying to figure out what's scripted is tricky. I just assume most, if not everything is. The prob is they're all terrible actors.

I think you meant "mactors".

[ScoobieDoobs]

Oh my, I totally forgot bout them being mactors.  They never mention that much anymore -- or do they?  Katie said Tom Schwartz isn't booking much modeling gigs lately.  And didn't someone say FI Tom was in Miami for a modeling thing.  Oy.  Mactors.

[Alison]

So Stassi's boyfriend is Patrick, who used to be on Cosmo radio "Cocktails with Patrick." I used to have a long commute, so I caught his show once or twice a week. I always thought he was kind of a jackass. Sirius XM shut down that station and he got some sort of sports radio show. He claims that he had to relocate for that job, but he is full of shit. A few years ago he dated another actress and moved to LA for her and his show was conveniently relocated there then too. The thing about satellite radio shows is that they can be done from anywhere and they often are. So tis is my long winded way of saying that Stassi is only back in town for the show.

You know she thought the offers and the money would just roll in off the success of VPR. When that didn't happen, guess who came crawling back to Mama Lisa?

PS - Check out Style by Stassi; it's laughably lame.

[fliptopbox]

I think FI Tom shaves his forehead because he thinks it helps exfoliate and get rid of the dead skin, lol.  I really don't see any other reason unless he's a closet Wolfman.

Maybe FI Tom is taking tips from Caroline Manzo. She also shaves her entire face, supposedly for the exfoliation. Maybe there's some Bravo insider trading of beauty tips?

[OnceSane]

Isn't FI Tom a mactician (model/actor/musician)?

[Jennifersdc]

Isn't FI Tom a mactician (model/actor/musician)?

Ohh - mactician. Thanks for adding to the possible vocabulary combination of schmuck/actor/model - I don't think we ever considered musicians. Good new angle. Woulda think given Scheana (hehe) we should have come up with it before.

[OnceSane]

I believe someone coined it on TWoP, I don't think it was me. LOL

[ScoobieDoobs]

I didn't create mactor. I think someone on the show said that. But I did coin schmactor. Cuz they are such schmucks, ain't they?

[Ubiquitous]

I remember making up a triple name on TVwoP but no longer rememeber what it was.

[Jennifersdc]

I didn't create mactor. I think someone on the show said that. But I did coin schmactor. Cuz they are such schmucks, ain't they?

We had this discussion before - but I also want to take some credit for schmactor. It was somebody concerned about them being actors and I was like acting/schmating who cares (channeling my NY catholic Yiddish), but I certainly didn't come up with the ever perfect schmuck. BTW, my deepest curtsies...

[SFoster21]

IMO, shmeliel or shmeggy is closer; schmuck implies more agency and intelligence than these poor dweebs can muster. But, it's not a correction, just an observation.

Edited November 11, 2014 by SFoster21

[ScoobieDoobs]

Guess I thought schmuck implies loser, dope or moron, which be a appropriate description for any of these chuckleheads.

[SFoster21]

No, schmuck is a word for "dick," which implies asshole more than loser.

But it's not that important.

Edited November 11, 2014 by SFoster21

[ScoobieDoobs]

You are correct & it still fits 'em.

[turbogirlnyc]

I think FI Tom shaves his forehead because he thinks it helps exfoliate and get rid of the dead skin, lol.  I really don't see any other reason unless he's a closet Wolfman.

 

Glad this show is back!

 

FI Tom must have taken a tip from Caroline Manzo.

 

I've never been a huge fan of Lisa but I loved when she called Stassi out during their discussion at Pump. Stassi was bitching that nobody else has moved on or grown from their experience, except Katie (lol). Lisa shut her down and nailed it on the head when she said nobody had changed or grown, including Katie. Stassi is just a bitch. She's just as bad, if not worse than the rest of them.

Edited November 12, 2014 by turbogirlnyc

[ScoobieDoobs]

Er, I beg to differ.  Katie has grown.  She's not an orange anymore.  Um, that's growth of some sort, isn't it?

[Brooke0707]

I wonder how much of it is scripted though. I mean I'm sure some of it is real. But I'd be curious to know how they act when cameras aren't rolling. Like if someone has ever been to SUR when they weren't filming to see how they acted versus when they were filming. Most of the talking heads are read from cue cards so all those clever one liners aren't even written by the people saying them. I wouldn't be surprised if in real life a lot of these people are sociopathic dicks but they just exaggerate it for the show. I've also heard that producers will reshoot scenes, tell them to act in certain ways, etc. After all, aren't many of these people aspiring actors? They all have varying degrees of horrible personalities, yes, but I take it with a grain of salt as to how much of it is real. It's a little ridiculous sometimes even for them.

I've been to Sur when there wasn't any filming.  Lisa was having dinner with Carlton and her husband, Ken, and I think someone else.  Katie was dressed in uniform and was waiting on tables (and was orange at the time).  Peter was also there.  But, that is the extent of my knowledge.

Edited November 12, 2014 by Brooke0707

[BogoGog24]

I've been to Sur when there wasn't any filming.  Lisa was having dinner with Carlton and her husband, Ken, and I think someone else.  Katie was dressed in uniform and was waiting on tables (and was orange at the time).  Peter was also there.  But, that is the extent of my knowledge.

 

Interesting! Last night I actually tried to find some reviews about SUR. It seemed like mixed reviews. Some raved about the food, others said it wasn't good. One reviewer said she and her guest got to speak with and take pics with Jax and Tom and that Tom was really nice to them. Another reviewer I think may have been talking about Jax and said he looked like he didn't want to be there or that the drinks were crappy. Others referenced the waitresses (whether they mean the cast, or the others that work there that aren't on the show) took forever to give them menus or spent a lot of time gossiping. Many reviewers did not make any reference to the cast members like Kristen, Stassi, Katie, or Scheana being there or being served by them. 

[Brooke0707]

Interesting! Last night I actually tried to find some reviews about SUR. It seemed like mixed reviews. Some raved about the food, others said it wasn't good. One reviewer said she and her guest got to speak with and take pics with Jax and Tom and that Tom was really nice to them. Another reviewer I think may have been talking about Jax and said he looked like he didn't want to be there or that the drinks were crappy. Others referenced the waitresses (whether they mean the cast, or the others that work there that aren't on the show) took forever to give them menus or spent a lot of time gossiping. Many reviewers did not make any reference to the cast members like Kristen, Stassi, Katie, or Scheana being there or being served by them. 

I thought the food was eh and overpriced.  A lot of people were taking pics with Lisa, but my friend and I didn't want to disrupt her dinner.  So we waited until she got up and was leaving to get one with her.  She was nice enough - she was in a rush and didn't want to chit chat, but she was on her way out so...

 

Meanwhile, Carlton just stood there and watched.  I felt a little bad, lol.

[ScoobieDoobs]

You saw orange Katie? I'm so jealous. Carlton? Ew. Lisa? Meh. I just saw Peter when I was there. No sign of Jax, FI, Kristen, Stass or Schemer. And yeah, the food was totally unmemorable & the menu was ho-hum and the service was extremely indifferent. Lisa is so full of crap.

[Ubiquitous]

I've been to Sur when there wasn't any filming.  Lisa was having dinner with Carlton and her husband, Ken, and I think someone else.  Katie was dressed in uniform and was waiting on tables (and was orange at the time).  Peter was also there.  But, that is the extent of my knowledge.

First off, my condolences on having to eat there. LOL

Secondly, who's Carlton, their doorman?

 

Interesting! Last night I actually tried to find some reviews about SUR. It seemed like mixed reviews. Some raved about the food, others said it wasn't good. One reviewer said she and her guest got to speak with and take pics with Jax and Tom and that Tom was really nice to them. Another reviewer I think may have been talking about Jax and said he looked like he didn't want to be there or that the drinks were crappy. Others referenced the waitresses (whether they mean the cast, or the others that work there that aren't on the show) took forever to give them menus or spent a lot of time gossiping. Many reviewers did not make any reference to the cast members like Kristen, Stassi, Katie, or Scheana being there or being served by them. 

Didn't Stassi whine on the show (or maybe the reunion?) about being harassed by her customers?

[Watermelon]

First off, my condolences on having to eat there. LOL

Secondly, who's Carlton, their doorman?

 

Didn't Stassi whine on the show (or maybe the reunion?) about being harassed by her customers?

Carlton is a woman. She was on RHOBH last year, but she got cut for the new season

[ScoobieDoobs]

Secondly, who's Carlton, their doorman?

 

Guess you don't watch Beverly Hills?  She was the fake lesbian witchie poo who was on last season of Beverly Hills Housewives.  Sheesh, she was a snooze.  Glad she wasn't asked back.  Her husband was hot as hell.  They coulda asked him to come back.

[Jennifersdc]

Please send that gif of Tom to Teresa over in Jersey. If anyone needs their forehead shaved, it's her.

You're insinuating she actually has a forehead. Would probably help with the unibrow though (she must do something though - tweezers, threading?).

[ghoulina]

Guys! I didn't realize this was back! I swear, since getting a DVR I miss half of the commercials alerting me to my shows returning. But thank you, Baby Jesus, because this show is like my crack. So bear with me, I have a LOT to say. Oh, I must preface this post by saying I know most of this is scripted BS, but I choose to treat it like a drama, and take it as I get it. 

 

First of all, so glad to see FI Tom is still shaving his forehead. I take comfort in the familiar. 

 

Now, Kristen....what a psycho. She is the definition of bitter ex. I don't know how anyone could stand to date her, when she clearly is not over her ex. Who digs around on social media like that? I mean, it's not like she was just checking HIS page. She had to have somehow come across this random chick they met in Miami, because Kristen was the one who reached out to her. Wow. Arianna, I hope you don't have any white rabbits....

 

Kristen being a crazy wench doesn't let Tom off the hook, however. This story is a bit sketchy. I can totally buy that some random would make up a story about sleeping with a reality star, but Tom admitted to hanging out and exchanging numbers. Now, I don't know about anyone else, and my husband doesn't go to "clubs", but when he goes out with the guys - he goes out with the guys. There is no need to show up with a bevvy of girls. There are no numbers exchanged. I mean, I guess if Arianna is okay with that, whatever....but Tom is becoming shadier by the minute. I don't get him. At first I just thought he cheated because...well....Kristen. But now I'm not so sure. 

 

And what in the seven hells was he wearing to Scheana's birthday party? He looked like an old man, escaped from the convalescent home. 

 

James seems like a creep. What is his agenda here? He has zero problem with Kristen's obsession with her ex? In fact, he seems to love getting right into it himself! Tom said that he held James in his arms when his last girlfriend broke up with him....and he always bought his drinks when they went out? I think I see what's going on here. FI Tom and James are really in love with EACH OTHER!

 

I see Jax is as narcissistic and delusional as ever. He did Tom a FAVOR, by sleeping with his girlfriend? Man, maybe Jax should just go around sleeping with people who are in bad relationships. He could probably make a better living than he does at Sur. Although, I'm still baffled at how he gets so many women to sleep with him. He is, by far, the least attractive dude on this show, IMO. When he was getting the consultation on his nose, I wanted to ask the doctor if they could do anything about the sweat and grease that seems to be constantly emanating from his pores. 

 

I love that Schwartz went to Scheana's party on his own, while Katie boycotted it. I think he may be my favorite out of all the guys. 

[ghoulina]

Er, I beg to differ.  Katie has grown.  She's not an orange anymore.  Um, that's growth of some sort, isn't it?

 

Oh it is! That hair was the worst. She looks loads better, but now we need to address the caterpillars she is trying to pass off as eyebrows. 

 

Meanwhile, Carlton just stood there and watched.  I felt a little bad, lol.

 

I would have been tempted to pretend Carlton worked there, asked her for a menu or something. 

[ScoobieDoobs]

Yeah, I'm def givin' FI the stinkeye cuz his story bout what happened in Miami sounds very fishy. But if it leads to another fight where Schemer gets it, then that's OK by me.

And Kristen is gettin' very Fatal Attraction, ain't she? Well, no pets could be involved cuz nothing living would survive in FI's disgusting apartment. Man, that place is vile. You know it's the worst if even Jax looked down his pre-nose job nose on it. Dat's pretty fuckin' bad. Cuz who's sleazier, slimier & more gross than Jax?. Well, guess FI is. Congrats for dat, FI.

Edited November 14, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[ghoulina]

And Kristen is gettin' very Fatal Attraction, ain't she? Well, no pets could be involved cuz nothing living would survive in FI's disgusting apartment.

 

Maybe Arianna will walk in on a pot of roaches being boiled??

 

Orrrr....maybe Kristen won't take the Fatal Attraction approach. Maybe she will be more Sleeping with the Enemy, sneak in and organize the place. Wouldn't that be a blessing in disguise? Too bad Kristen is like the Sur version of Pigpen, walking around in a perpetual cloud of tobacco smoke. She'd never do that.