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S05.E04: Calling Out

OnceSane

By OnceSane
in Couples Therapy [V]

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Cramps

Cramps

(edited)

No, according to articles and his twitter feed only a couple of Big Brother exec producers, Dick's mom, his girlfriend , and a friend knew the truth before this, aside from his medical professionals. Even his kids didn't know. And Dani and he don't talk. (He didn't attend her wedding) so she found out the way the rest of us did.

Edited by Cramps
LotusFlower

LotusFlower

I never watched Big Brother, so I'm not really sure what it's about. But do you think he made the decision to leave the show on his own? They didn't ask him to leave, right?

Also, it was not ok for Dr. Jenn to ask him how he contracted the disease. A definite professional faux pas. The disease has enough stigma attached to it that asking you what "behavior" you engaged in only adds to it.

  • Love 5
molly

molly

According to Dick's tweets, production would not let him stay in the BB house once his test results came back. He says if production had gotten the results before he went in, they would not have let him in the house the first place. That's a bit screwed up thinking in this day.

I hope he's able to keep his health for many more years, and that he'll find peace in the other aspects of his life as well.

  • Love 2
LotusFlower

LotusFlower

According to Dick's tweets, production would not let him stay in the BB house once his test results came back. He says if production had gotten the results before he went in, they would not have let him in the house the first place. That's a bit screwed up thinking in this day.

That's unbelievable. And discriminatory. How did (or are) they getting away with that? There's no danger of anyone getting the disease simply by living in the same house with someone with HIV.

  • Love 3
Cramps

Cramps

(edited)

He said they ran one test which said he had it. Then a second which said he didn't. He didn't know this and was already in the house. They called him to the diary room, told him they needed to do one more test. The results came back positive. They called him out to tell him and he never went back in, leaving his daughter who he is estranged from now, still in the house not knowing why he left. It was only a few days into the season (it was his second time on the show).

He was not allowed back on the show until the finale.

As for the risk factor,I don't know. Perhaps because cast members have been known to have unprotected sex, and do get injured in competitions, with blood being spilled, the lawyers made it a rule? (Note , I'm not saying I believe or agree with this, I'm just guessing why it might be the case with CBS.)

Edited by Cramps
sunrisepink

sunrisepink

I can't believe Dick has been dealing with this secret for 3 years. He said he hasn't had sex since the diagnosis. It seems like it would be very difficult to have an intimate relationship with someone without that element. I read an article where Dick talked about how having HIV isn't a death sentence like it used to be and I think it's amazingly brave of him to make this very personal issue a platform to spread awareness.

  • Love 3
ramble

ramble

As sad as it is that Dick has HIV I'm going to be shallow & gripe on this show. This show... it's making me feel that Jenna is reasonable. She's completely right about Dr. Jenn being unprofessional & totally out of line. I know the "doctor" is far away from professional but she often doesn't even seen to try. The cursing makes me crazy. There is no way to have a safe, theraptic environment when the therapist, the facilitator, is cursing for effect. Good grief woman can't you hold off on filth for a few? I'm no saint when it comes to cursing but there are some places & times when it is inappropriate period. Jenn went into attack mode as well. What kind of therapist gets defensive & aggressive during therapy? It sounds like she's the one who needs therapy. Just yuck.

  • Love 3
Neurochick

Neurochick

(edited)

That's unbelievable. And discriminatory. How did (or are) they getting away with that? There's no danger of anyone getting the disease simply by living in the same house with someone with HIV.

 

True, but I think the producers were worried about possible lawsuits?  We live in a very litigious society.  I've seen a few Big Brother shows and folks tend to drink and have unprotected sex on that show.  There might be a clause that says if you have X medical conditions you can't come on the show; HIV could just be one of them.

 

Did Jenna say that Dr. Jen yelled at her?  Maybe I'm going deaf but I didn't hear the woman yelling at all.  However, I don't think that Dr. Jen should swear so frequently, therapy isn't the time or the place.  Jenna was right though, to say that as a therapist, Dr. Jen shouldn't swear at them; however Jenna has been pretty abusive herself to her partner, and I did't like what she said to Nikki, or whatever her name is, she doesn't have the right to swear at the producers and camera people who are just doing their jobs.  How would Nikki feel if people swore at her when she was on her job?

Edited by Neurochick
  • Love 1
LotusFlower

LotusFlower

True, but I think the producers were worried about possible lawsuits?  We live in a very litigious society.  I've seen a few Big Brother shows and folks tend to drink and have unprotected sex on that show.  There might be a clause that says if you have X medical conditions you can't come on the show; HIV could just be one of them.

They should be worried about getting sued themselves!

But wait - they have unprotected sex on the show? Huh? Do they, um, show this? If not, how do you know? Sorry if these are too many questions about a show I don't watch.... But you just can't fire somebody for being HIV positive. That's against the law.

  • Love 1
Vivigirl10

Vivigirl10

I didn't watch Dick on Big Brother so I have no knowledge of him but man, I felt for him last night.  Why is the ex-girlfriend so against him telling people?  Do you think she really is positive and they just aren't saying so?  She obviously doesn't accept it or is uncomfortable about dating someone with HIV, to each his own, but why are they continuing this charade about them possibly getting back together?

 

Once again, Nikki makes Juan Pablo look good.  Wow!  I seem to get the feeling that she thinks being "bitchy" is cute.  Not a good look, honey.   

  • Love 3
leighdear

leighdear

(edited)

Maybe Dick would have had to disclose his condition to the other contestants in order to stay in the house.  IF that was an option at the time.  He didn't know when he got there, but found out after he was already participating.  Maybe it was a situation the producers never thought about and had no plan for.  Dick really didn't get into the specifics of what he was contractually obligated to do in the situation.     

 

But I'm betting that now, everybody has their test results before getting in the house.

 

Nikki kept going back to the fact that a move to Miami would "Take her away from everybody that loved her".  She referred to it several times.  And JPG made no attempt to address that, simply mouthing the platitude that he wants her to be happy.  She so badly needs him to say he loves her, and he can't.  Or won't.  I just don't see this working.

 

Jenna has been on the defensive since day 1 and fighting the process at every step.  Dr. Jenn didn't yell at her, or any of the participants.  Jenna is listening for things that she can use to NOT deal with her issues.  She's wasting everybody's time with trivial crap that she can twist around and drag out to show how misunderstood she is, or how badly she's treated.  And she basically holds everybody hostage, because they have to listen to her drone on.  But very little of what she says has any substance.  It's all flimsy excuses for her to avoid working on herself. 

 

And I believe Dr. Jenn uses the profanity to get and hold their attention and speak to them in a way they'll understand.  Some of them don't even listen to what's being said, they just wait to interject their thoughts back into the conversation.    None of these people are stupid, but most need the concepts brought out in clear, unambiguous, laymans terms, as opposed to "psych-speak".     I DO agree though, that she could use the profanity much more sparingly. 

Edited by leighdear
  • Love 4
panthergirl13

panthergirl13

I'm surprised VH1 allowed the 'secret' to be revealed all over the internet prior to the episode airing. That said, I agree that it seems bizarre (and illegal) for CBS to boot him from Big Brother.

 

Project Runway has had a few HIV Positive contestants and they, too, live with the other cast members. Big Brother usually doesn't have physical competitions (like Survivor does) and as for unprotected sex...that isn't something a person can do 'unknowingly'. Plus I remember one season where they said there are condoms in the house provided by production.

 

I felt genuinely sorry for him and for them as a couple. I take back everything I said about him slamming all ten fingers in the car door at once. ;)

MsPH

MsPH

I didn't watch Dick on Big Brother so I have no knowledge of him but man, I felt for him last night.  Why is the ex-girlfriend so against him telling people?  Do you think she really is positive and they just aren't saying so?  She obviously doesn't accept it or is uncomfortable about dating someone with HIV, to each his own, but why are they continuing this charade about them possibly getting back together?

 

I think she just doesn't want to be the woman who left her partner because of their illness. I guess she thinks it makes her seem superficial and heartless. I wouldn't judge, since she's still young and they weren't married or anything. I can understand her wanting a sex life that doesn't involve a constant fear of getting HIV, especially if they were having other issues as well. Sucks for Dick though. It's gonna be hard to find someone who's OK with it. I also thought it was very unprofessional of Dr. Jenn to ask where he caught it from. I guess she wanted to know if he was cheating on Stephanie, but it was just rude.

 

Nikki thinks she should be able to just enjoy the perks of fame without doing anything at all in return. How spoiled can you get? She can think those things all she likes, but broadcasting them to the world is seriously stupid.

 

Juan Pablo is a such a jerk. I wanted to slap him during that heated discussion about moving. So he's willing to leave his daughter for Nikki, who he doesn't even love? Give me a break! He has no intention of doing that. He might move to LA to make a career out of his celebrity status, but Nikki will just be a prop. What a great dad! NOT.

  • Love 1
trimthatfat

trimthatfat

(edited)

According to Dick's tweets, production would not let him stay in the BB house once his test results came back. He says if production had gotten the results before he went in, they would not have let him in the house the first place. That's a bit screwed up thinking in this day.

 

This doesn't surprise me at all. Despite it being 2014, there are many close-minded individuals out there who are willfully ignorant about how HIV is transmitted. There is still a stigma attached to the disease. When I was in college, I had a classmate in my dorm who was HIV+ and once my fellow floor-mates found out, they avoided him like the plague. This was in 2003. So yeah...things haven't changed much.

 

Dr. Jen asking how Dick contracted HIV was very inappropriate. I also question her professionalism when she thinks nothing of using curse words when talking to her patients. I've been in therapy for years, worked with a couple of therapists, and they have never once cursed at me or raised their voices to communicate a point.

 

I really wish Dick the best of luck. Thankfully, people can and have lived long lives despite an HIV diagnosis.

 

I don't understand what Nikki's deal is. People who truly want to live private lives after a reality television stint do not go on ANOTHER reality show. She's an idiot.

Edited by trimthatfat
  • Love 4
leighdear

leighdear

(edited)

What or who would CBS sue?  They didn't give Dick HIV.  Why would anybody sue anybody after all this time, and for what?  

 

I actually don't feel it was inappropriate to ask Dick about how it was contracted.  It speaks to his relationship with Stephanie, and that while she went through the aftermath of it with him, he didn't contract it while in a relationship with her.  Obviously Dick didn't have any problem with Dr. Jenn asking, as he jumped right into clarification. 

 

He's savvy enough to duck the question if he didn't want to answer.  And he absolutely wanted to make it know that Stephanie was in no way involved. Nothing like "She cheated on me so I slept with a stripper in retaliation".  He's obviously protective of her in that respect.  

Edited by leighdear
choclatechip45

choclatechip45

(edited)

I'm so confused. Dick was with a different girl when he did Big Brother 13 her name was Amy and they were engaged at one point. So I don't really understand why Stephanie would be worried. Something is not adding up.

Here is a link http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/big_brothers_evel_dick_donato_amy_benallo_engaged-2011-10

 

According to Dick's tweets, production would not let him stay in the BB house once his test results came back. He says if production had gotten the results before he went in, they would not have let him in the house the first place. That's a bit screwed up thinking in this day.

 

 

I don't really blame CBS for not letting him stay. I watched RW San Fransisco and saw how the stress impacted Pedro's health. Yes I know Pedro was a lot sicker. Considering how stressful Big Brother is and how unsanitary the house is I don't think anyone with a terminal illness should be playing Big Brother.

Edited by choclatechip45
  • Love 1
LotusFlower

LotusFlower

I don't really blame CBS for not letting him stay. I watched RW San Fransisco and saw how the stress impacted Pedro's health. Yes I know Pedro was a lot sicker. Considering how stressful Big Brother is and how unsanitary the house is I don't think anyone with a terminal illness should be playing Big Brother.

Pedro wanted to stay. So he stayed. It was his choice. It should have been Dick's choice as well. The producers aren't doctors - they're not in a position to say we want you to leave because we think staying is too stressful. Also, although there's no cure for HIV, living with the disease is manageable. So long as you take the anti-viral meds, you can live a long and relatively healthy life.

  • Love 2
LotusFlower

LotusFlower

I actually don't feel it was inappropriate to ask Dick about how it was contracted.  It speaks to his relationship with Stephanie, and that while she went through the aftermath of it with him, he didn't contract it while in a relationship with her.  Obviously Dick didn't have any problem with Dr. Jenn asking, as he jumped right into clarification. 

Whether Dick wanted to answer the question is a different matter (and yes, he wasn't offended, and he talked openly about the subject, which is his right). It was entirely inappropriate for Dr. Jenn to ask the question. If she wanted to ask questions pertaining to Stephanie, she could have asked different things. Instead, she asked what behavior he engaged in to contract the disease, which again, only serves to shame the patient, as opposed to treating them. Plus, It brought up Stephanie's HIV status, which was NOT Dick's right to tell.

  • Love 3
choclatechip45

choclatechip45

(edited)

 

Pedro wanted to stay. So he stayed. It was his choice. It should have been Dick's choice as well. The producers aren't doctors - they're not in a position to say we want you to leave because we think staying is too stressful. Also, although there's no cure for HIV, living with the disease is manageable. So long as you take the anti-viral meds, you can live a long and relatively healthy life.

Considering how many people go on  Big Brother and say how stressful it is compared to how stressful they thought it  would be producers made the right call. Stress can weaken someone's immune system which is already weakened with having HIV in the first place. Plus that house is filthy I'm shocked more people don't get sick.

 

ETA CBS said they never asked Dick to leave. Of course Dick says that is a lie.  I don't believe him he said Julie Chen wouldn't have him on The Talk yet they had Magic Johnson promoting an in-home HIV Test.

Edited by choclatechip45
ghoulina

ghoulina

You guys! I didn't know this was back! I need to sign up for email reminders or something - too many shows; I can't keep up. I was able to DVR the one before this, but still haven't seen the first two. 

 

Anyhow, wow - Nicki is a BITCH. I watched Juan Pablo's season and thought she was kind of icy. But I had no idea she was this bad. It looks like she's about to give JP a heart attack. I found him to be a bit of a douche after his season, but now I almost feel bad for him. She can lose me with all her complaining about the cameras and being stopped on the street. Don't like it? Quit going on tv!

 

Jenna is awful too. She is a conceited, entitled princess that thinks everyone should kiss her ass 24-7. Her constant "oh" and "duck" faces are driving me batty. Her bf seems whupped. 

 

Deena! My lovable doofus aka Spike from Land Before Time! She and Chris are probably the couple from the least serious problems from what I can tell. 

 

I haven't got a real read on Treach and Ciciely (sp?) yet, but I kind of like her sass.

 

Wow, I thought Evel Dick looked like he'd been punched repeatedly in the face, so when he revealed he was HIV positive I wasn't that shocked. He looks like he has led a very hard and fast life. So he and Stephanie aren't currently together? I can only imagine how tough that would be on a relationship. 

Crumpet

Crumpet

(edited)

I'd think that someone newly diagnosed with HIV would need to see doctors to undergo further tests and start a treatment plan, which would take away one of the big elements of being in the BB house (isolation from the outside world). Plus the previously mentioned psychological impact. And if you're really in a relationship I can't imagine staying in the house where you'd be unable to inform your partner (and if you gave others the permission to inform, that you'd actually want to do that and not be able to answer his/her questions directly).

Edited by Crumpet
  • Love 9
ghoulina

ghoulina

Did Jenna say that Dr. Jen yelled at her?  Maybe I'm going deaf but I didn't hear the woman yelling at all.  However, I don't think that Dr. Jen should swear so frequently, therapy isn't the time or the place.  Jenna was right though, to say that as a therapist, Dr. Jen shouldn't swear at them;

 

I agree that Jen's language is far from professional. But she definitely wasn't yelling. And I have a feeling even if she dropped the curse words, Jenna would have still been bitching and moaning about being "yelled" at. She seems to have a very distorted view of reality and always thinks someone's attacking her.

  • Love 2
LotusFlower

LotusFlower

Considering how many people go on  Big Brother and say how stressful it is compared to how stressful they thought it  would be producers made the right call. Stress can weaken someone's immune system which is already weakened with having HIV in the first place. Plus that house is filthy I'm shocked more people don't get sick.

 

Were they worried about Dick's stress levels, or their own liability issues. If it's the former, they're not doctors, so it's not their call to make. If it's the latter, then its an employment issue and/or dispute. I get that there's a controversy over whether he left on his own accord, so that would make a big difference here. If he was fired because of his HIV status, that's clearly illegal. If he needed to leave to start treatment, or even to deal with the psychological blow, then it was his decision, and CBS is off the hook.

  

I do see your point, Lotus.  I think there's just so much inappropriate stuff rolling around that set, I tend to forget that the "professionals" should be held to a higher standard.  :)

That was exactly my surprise. I totally get that most people think it's ok to ask that question (it's not, because it's unfair and degrading and shame-inducing, so spread the word!), but health professionals should know better. I'll cut Dr. Jenn some slack on the f word if she learns this lesson!

  • Love 1
Thula

Thula

He was most likely sent home from big brother due to the need for him to get medical attention right away and notify former sex partners, not fear of transmission to other cast members. What I don't understand is why he was finding out after the cameras started rolling.

There's a post on reddit calling b.s. (http://www.reddit.com/r/BigBrother/comments/2gy7x4/proof_that_evel_dick_is_on_couples_therapy_with_a/) on the Dick/Stephanie relationship. Apparently he had a different girlfriend named Amy for the better part of the last few years. maybe she didn't want to be on tv so he hired a stand-in so he could get a nice paycheck? In hindsight, I thought that the body language with those two was really weird and distant and their therapy sessions are very vague. Plus, she's pretty far out of his league.

choclatechip45

choclatechip45

 

Were they worried about Dick's stress levels, or their own liability issues. If it's the former, they're not doctors, so it's not their call to make. If it's the latter, then its an employment issue and/or dispute. I get that there's a controversy over whether he left on his own accord, so that would make a big difference here. If he was fired because of his HIV status, that's clearly illegal. If he needed to leave to start treatment, or even to deal with the psychological blow, then it was his decision, and CBS is off the hook.

If it is the former they do have doctors. That's how Dick found out he had HIV from a blood test the show's doctor administered and they also have a  psychologist employed. House guests have talked about it on the feeds and in interviews.

MsPH

MsPH

There's definitely something fishy about those two. I guess it could be possible that he was on and off with two women at the time, but it's a bit weird if he hasn't shared any pics of Stephanie on social media. She might just be an actor and that's why she didn't want Dick spilling the beans. It's obvious people would get curious about past events because of it. Or maybe she didn't even know and the secret they were talking about was the fact that she's not his real girlfriend?

choclatechip45

choclatechip45

Also, that was Dick's second time on BB, so he himself would be well aware of any stress levels he might incur while participating again.

Most people who have played big brother a second time have said it was harder the second time around.

I think the Dick and Stephanie relationship is bs he was engaged to Amy in October of 2011 and was with her when he did BB13.

LotusFlower

LotusFlower

If it is the former they do have doctors. That's how Dick found out he had HIV from a blood test the show's doctor administered and they also have a  psychologist employed. House guests have talked about it on the feeds and in interviews.

Sure, I get that they have access to medical help. But the doctors don't run the show or make decisions about staying or leaving. If a contestant has a medical issue, or suffers an injury, for ex., they can give their opinion about whats in the patient's and everybody's best interest, but then the producers make the call.

Jillibean

Jillibean

(edited)

I wonder if CBS will sue. It would be the best thing that ever happened to Dick or VH1. Big, bad network against the sick guy. I really wish this reveal wasn't spoiled. This is the best this show will ever do and it was flat.

 

The same parent company (Viacom) owns both networks. If anyone at Couples Therapy or VH1 thought Dick's session was incriminating in any way to Big Brother or CBS, I doubt they would have aired whichever part of it was a concern. 

Edited by Jillibean
JustKillingTime

JustKillingTime

I think CBS did the right thing in removing him from the game at that time. While just living in the house certainly wouldn't put anyone at risk, those Big Brother competitions can get pretty physically rough. People get banged up, even bloodied. Since he was newly diagnosed, who knows what his viral load was. I think having someone who was just diagnosed would be too risky. Plus, even though HIV is pretty much treated like a chronic condition, it does take some emotional processing upon diagnosis. Plus, as someone else mentioned, there is the notification of partners, getting started on treatment, etc. None of which should be delayed due to a game.

  • Love 3
laschifosavita

laschifosavita

Assuming the Big Brother contract is similar to the ones for other Viacom shows, he pretty much signed over all of his rights to participate on the show.  It is likely that it included that he not have any sexually transmitted diseases and that he is in good health.  The contract also probably essentially includes signing over all of his medical rights, so he would be seeing whatever doctors they want him to see when the producers want him to see them, and they can film whatever they want.  He can be asked to leave the show for almost any reason (or no reason).  Additionally, the contract specifies that the contestants are not employees.

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