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Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?


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We all have been drawn into off-topic discussions, me included. There's little that's off-topic when it comes to Chit Chat, so the only ask is that you please remember that this is the Chit Chat topic and that there's a subforum for all things health and wellness here.

If there's something you need clarification on, please keep in mind that it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; talk to them and not about what they said.
If you disagree, consider how we can express our differing opinions and still respect the other's opinion and recognize it as valid.
We're all different people, so different perspectives and points of views are natural, welcome even for growing a healthy community. What is important is that we disagree with empathy and consideration. (If need be, check out the how do we have healthy debates guidelines for more).

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On 11/5/2023 at 8:37 PM, annzeepark914 said:

@EtheltoTillie For some reason I thought Wegmans was in Brooklyn, in that section close to Manhattan. And I thought you were also in Brooklyn (or Queens). Maybe just go some day during off hours and get something special that won't weigh much as you make your way home.

There is a wegmans in Brooklyn. I never been to one period

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I stopped by the lake to see sunrise this morning on my way to vote because the temperatures were supposed to plummet after the morning high.
The sun didn't ever appear because of the clouds, but: 

sunrise.thumb.jpg.87f43005c540b7693367793729a5a65a.jpg

Yes. These are dark days in so many ways — with or without a time change.
But my little grandson is not happy being driven home from daycare in the dark, so today on speaker phone I sang a favorite song, and that perked up everyone.

 

And speaking of Wordle (upthread), my comment was the #1 Reader Pick out of 498 comments for today in The New York Times Wordle column.
It is *not* something I can post here.😉😁🙃

Edited by shapeshifter
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26 minutes ago, Anela said:

I'm extremely happy tonight, but I can't say why. I'm basically a brunette version of her, in comfier clothing:

Your post gave me the courage to turn on the TV 😄.

Edited by Laura Holt
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Someone commented today her daughter was having trouble adjusting in college as a freshman with the workload.  I think she might be spending too much time partying though.  

 

Kind of hate to tell her it doesn't get any easier as you got along from my experience.  In terms of the courses themselves my 1st year was the easiest.  

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10 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

Someone commented today her daughter was having trouble adjusting in college as a freshman with the workload.  I think she might be spending too much time partying though.  

 

Kind of hate to tell her it doesn't get any easier as you got along from my experience.  In terms of the courses themselves my 1st year was the easiest.  

If your thoughts are correct, that was my own exact downfall freshman year — although there were lots of reasons it happened that were outside my abilities to control at the time (1970). Like, my “partying” was self-medication for depression. 
There is definitely more mental health support on campuses nowadays, but having worked on college campuses for decades, I saw too many students who needed help still slip through the cracks of that support.☹️

OTOH, my oldest daughter struggled freshman year almost entirely because she had gone to a small rural high school that didn’t have any Advanced classes and then was unexpectedly given a last minute full ride scholarship to the University of California at Davis.* After almost flunking out her first semester, she transferred to Cal State Sacramento. Over 20 years later, she is still one course short of graduation, but she’s doing fine.

————
Due to reasons of funding, tradition, admission standards, etc., often "University of [state]" schools have more difficult courses than "[state] University" schools do.

Edited by shapeshifter
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4 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

If your evaluation of the situation is correct, that was my own exact downfall freshman year — although there were lots of reasons it happened that were outside my abilities to control at the time (1970). Like, my “partying” was self-medication for depression. 
There is definitely more mental health support on campuses nowadays, but having worked on college campuses for decades, I saw too many students who needed help still slip through the cracks of that support.☹️

OTOH, my oldest daughter struggled freshman year almost entirely because she had gone to a small rural high school that didn’t have any Advanced classes and then was unexpectedly given a last minute full ride scholarship to the University of California at Davis.* After almost flunking out her first semester, she transferred to Cal State Sacramento. Over 20 years later, she is still one course short of graduation, but she’s doing fine.

————
Due to reasons of funding, tradition, admission standards, etc., often "University of [state]" schools have more difficult courses than "[state] University" schools do.

It was most definitely a tough time for me as well.

 

My first year was more adapting to everything but the course work I thought kept getting harder and harder.  My 3rd year is where I really sort of hit a wall at university.  

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3 minutes ago, BlueSkies said:

It was most definitely a tough time for me as well.
My 3rd year is where I really sort of hit a wall at university.  

I stopped binge drinking after the first semester, brought my grades up, and even went to summer school.
But then I foolishly dropped out of college thinking I was going to pursue a career. 
I finally got my degree 25 years later.

Having recent degrees got me hired when I would have been otherwise overlooked because of my age.

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My granddaughter's school is having their Remembrance Day ceremony today (as the 11th falls on a Saturday this year and tomorrow is a PD day) anyway she was chosen to lay the wreath as she has members of her family currently serving overseas - and also because she's a sweet little angel 😃  who they could be reasonably sure wouldn't be silly about doing this (not something I can say with confidence about my grandson!).

Anyway this got me thinking, I honestly don't remember there being any thing done for Remembrance Day back in the olden times when I was in elementary school.  Oh we had the minute of silence at 11 and I am fairly sure they played taps or had someone recite In Flanders Field but that was it.  We never had speakers come in or have any real focus on wars or loss or the veterans  as far as I can recall.  Certainly no one way laying wreathes or anything like that at any school I ever went to.

Edited by Laura Holt
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1 hour ago, Laura Holt said:

My granddaughter's school is having their Remembrance Day ceremony today (as the 11th falls on a Saturday this year and tomorrow is a PD day) anyway she was chosen to lay the wreath as she has members of her family currently serving overseas - and also because she's a sweet little angel 😃  who they could be reasonably sure wouldn't be silly about doing this (not something I can say with confidence about my grandson!).

Anyway this got me thinking, I honestly don't remember there being any thing done for Remembrance Day back in the olden times when I was in elementary school.  Oh we had the minute of silence at 11 and I am fairly sure they played taps or had someone recite In Flanders Field but that was it.  We never had speakers come in or have any real focus on wars or loss or the veterans  as far as I can recall.  Certainly no one way laying wreathes or anything like that at any school I ever went to.

We've had services as long as I remember.  At least in Catholic schools (always at the church across the street) and at the private school I went to (in chapel, though during our regular service (but extended), so it wasn't exactly through 11 am).  Does she go to a public or Catholic school?  We only had the moment of silence in the public school I went to for one year.  Public schools have a PD day next Friday in Toronto, but private schools have their traditional "half term" this weekend (Friday and Monday).  

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I was just talking to a friend about this last night. When I was in Ontario 10/29, people were wearing paper poppies and there was a man in uniform outside Walmart with a basket of them. I vaguely recall paper poppies from my childhood but haven't seen any in decades, except on UK TV shows. My friend doesn't remember ever seeing them in real life. She grew up near NYC, I'm from the other end of the state. Maybe proximity to Canada was the difference, WWI being a much bigger deal for commonwealth countries than the U.S.

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32 minutes ago, ABay said:

I was just talking to a friend about this last night. When I was in Ontario 10/29, people were wearing paper poppies and there was a man in uniform outside Walmart with a basket of them. I vaguely recall paper poppies from my childhood but haven't seen any in decades, except on UK TV shows. My friend doesn't remember ever seeing them in real life. She grew up near NYC, I'm from the other end of the state. Maybe proximity to Canada was the difference, WWI being a much bigger deal for commonwealth countries than the U.S.

I think you are correct about WWI being a much bigger deal for Commonwealth countries - I've never seen a poppy worn in November in the U.S. and in England they are practically de rigeur. We do make a big deal (as we should!) over Veterans Day (this Friday in the U.S.) but it seems to be more focused on WWII and subsequent conflicts. As the WWII vets gradually leave us, it will be interesting to see how much the younger generations do honor to those who have served.

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45 minutes ago, ABay said:

I was just talking to a friend about this last night. When I was in Ontario 10/29, people were wearing paper poppies and there was a man in uniform outside Walmart with a basket of them. I vaguely recall paper poppies from my childhood but haven't seen any in decades, except on UK TV shows. My friend doesn't remember ever seeing them in real life. She grew up near NYC, I'm from the other end of the state. Maybe proximity to Canada was the difference, WWI being a much bigger deal for commonwealth countries than the U.S.

My husband brought home a paper poppy last year that he got from a man outside our local Kroger, so I guess they still do it.

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48 minutes ago, ABay said:

When I was in Ontario 10/29, people were wearing paper poppies and there was a man in uniform outside Walmart with a basket of them.

They aren't paper here in Canada, more of a felt type thing but as of last year whatever the material is apparently it's now bio-degradable.  I usually take the stick pin out of mine and attach it with a small safety pin.  One too many stabbings!

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I remember wearing paper poppies in grade school in the late 50's-60's. My hometown was an hour north of NYC.  Once we got rid of the draft, the military and its sacrifices seem to mostly go unnoticed, IMO. Maybe not by communities near military bases, though.

Hey...I had to quit watching that video. Both drivers must not have been squeamish about high speeds, especially on motorcycles 😵‍💫

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2 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

I remember wearing paper poppies in grade school in the late 50's-60's. My hometown was an hour north of NYC.  Once we got rid of the draft, the military and its sacrifices seem to mostly go unnoticed, IMO. Maybe not by communities near military bases, though.

Hey...I had to quit watching that video. Both drivers must not have been squeamish about high speeds, especially on motorcycles 😵‍💫

I kept expecting one of them to run out of gas. 

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3 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Once we got rid of the draft, the military and its sacrifices seem to mostly go unnoticed, IMO. Maybe not by communities near military bases, though.

I think that's a good point, the further you are away from seeing active military members the easier it is to forget that there even is a military.  Until something happens of course.

Canada didn't have a draft and was only very peripherally involved in Vietnam but I do feel that there was a lot less attention paid to honouring veterans and those who died serving their country back "in my day". 

I think, at least in part, the renewed interest in remembering these wartime sacrifices came as the men who had fought during WWI all reached an age where at each ceremony there were less and less of them.  And now, of course, this is happening with the men and women who served during WWII. 

Whatever the reason(s) I am glad it is happening and that schools are making sure that children know more about these past conflicts than I did at that same age.

ETA: Also, and I can't say this is true for all of course,  but the two men I knew best who were veterans of WWII, my grandfather and my FIL,  both never talked about the war until the very last years of their lives.  It was something they had put behind them.  I think if this is true for others who served that may explain, to some extent, why more veterans of that war now attend the ceremonies and are speaking out about their experiences.

Edited by Laura Holt
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3 minutes ago, Laura Holt said:

Whatever the reason(s) I am glad it is happening and that schools are making sure that children know more about these past conflicts than I did at that same age.

I find it depressing to see veterans (dead or alive) "honored" as "heroes" one or two days a year, especially because it perpetuates the mythos.
Even without the draft, most join the military either because it is the only means of adequate financial support available to them, or because they've bought into the hero concept.

FWIW, my father and high school boyfriend were in the military in war zones, and I think they would agree.

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Just now, shapeshifter said:

Even without the draft, most join the military either because it is the only means of adequate financial support available to them, or because they've bought into the hero concept.

Definitely true for many members of my family, not however, for those who served during WWII.

You remind me though of another reason why Remembrance Day may have been less important to many when I was growing up.  We saw a very unpopular war being fought every day on the news.  And Canada, along with a few other countries, became a destination for so-called "draft dodgers".  

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1 hour ago, crazycatlady58 said:

That is stressful to watch. It reminds me of the chase scene in the movie Bullett

It (motorcycle chase) was worse than the chase scene under the El in NYC in The French Connection. I was almost sliding off the bottom of my seat cringing while Popeye Doyle was dodging cars and people. At least he wasn't on a motorcycle!

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3 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

I think that's a good point, the further you are away from seeing active military members the easier it is to forget that there even is a military.  Until something happens of course.

Canada didn't have a draft and was only very peripherally involved in Vietnam but I do feel that there was a lot less attention paid to honouring veterans and those who died serving their country back "in my day". 

I think, at least in part, the renewed interest in remembering these wartime sacrifices came as the men who had fought during WWI all reached an age where at each ceremony there were less and less of them.  And now, of course, this is happening with the men and women who served during WWII. 

Whatever the reason(s) I am glad it is happening and that schools are making sure that children know more about these past conflicts than I did at that same age.

ETA: Also, and I can't say this is true for all of course,  but the two men I knew best who were veterans of WWII, my grandfather and my FIL,  both never talked about the war until the very last years of their lives.  It was something they had put behind them.  I think if this is true for others who served that may explain, to some extent, why more veterans of that war now attend the ceremonies and are speaking out about their experiences.

We had one for WWI.  I remember learning about conscription in Canadian History.

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24 minutes ago, PRgal said:

We had one for WWI.  I remember learning about conscription in Canadian History.

Our Canadian history in elementary school focused on the 4 Fs - fur, forestry, fishing and farming.  In high school the Canadian history course I took ended with confederation!  Honestly,  looking back this was truly pathetic.

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4 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

ETA: Also, and I can't say this is true for all of course,  but the two men I knew best who were veterans of WWII, my grandfather and my FIL,  both never talked about the war until the very last years of their lives.  It was something they had put behind them.  I think if this is true for others who served that may explain, to some extent, why more veterans of that war now attend the ceremonies and are speaking out about their experiences

My father-in-law, recently deceased at age 98 1/2, was a WWII veteran, having served in the Philippines, among other areas. For all of the time I have known him (40+ years), he spoke often about his time in the service but ONLY about the different jobs he had. At various times he was a cook, barber, MP, and he even played clarinet in a band there. He NEVER spoke about the horrors of war. He was a man who appreciated life every day and always had a huge smile on his face. He'd tell us all funny stories about the service. 

Well, one day we were all gathered at an Italian restaurant celebrating my brother-in-law's 40th birthday. I had just seen some news story the night or two before about the war, which of course was talking about atrocities and such. Well, I happened to mention this to my father-in-law, and this bear of a man, this gentle, loving giant, broke down right in front of me and started to cry. I felt like shit. That was the ONLY time he ever really showed how he felt about his time in the service.

My own dad would have been 17 in August of 1945. I think he lied about his age to enlist. The war was winding down and he spent his time in Japan during the occupation. He wound up getting some arm tattoos while over there and once slept through an earthquake. 

My husband served in the Army National Guard for 7 years during the Vietnam era, but this was before I knew him. He was around 21 or so when he joined. To this day it angers me that he is not considered a veteran. We've inquired about it, but there has to be a certain amount of time spent where you are called up for active duty. He recalls a mail strike one year where they were called in, but it was not for enough time.

But I guess in the scheme of things he was never in harm's way, so we should be grateful. 

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6 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

ETA: Also, and I can't say this is true for all of course,  but the two men I knew best who were veterans of WWII, my grandfather and my FIL,  both never talked about the war until the very last years of their lives.  It was something they had put behind them.  I think if this is true for others who served that may explain, to some extent, why more veterans of that war now attend the ceremonies and are speaking out about their experiences.

This is one big reason I'm always wary/suspicious of people who feel the need to make a big bragging production about serving in the military. Talking about one's experiences in and of themselves is fine, and, as you note, it can also be very helpful for veterans who need to open up about the horrors they witnessed, and for educational purposes.

But the people who need to go into great detail about the fighting they saw and these top secret missions they were in and whatnot - more often than not, they're either flat out lying and trying to say whatever they think will make them sound like a badass, or they did serve, and they got a little TOO into the war mindset, to a concerning degree. There are ways to talk about one's experience in the military without having to make yourself sound like Mr. Macho Tough Guy in the process. 

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3 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

My father-in-law, recently deceased at age 98 1/2, was a WWII veteran, having served in the Philippines, among other areas. For all of the time I have known him (40+ years), he spoke often about his time in the service but ONLY about the different jobs he had. At various times he was a cook, barber, MP, and he even played clarinet in a band there. He NEVER spoke about the horrors of war. He was a man who appreciated life every day and always had a huge smile on his face.

This describes how my Dad spoke about his time in Japan during WWII, and his outlook on life in general. If he was still alive, he'd be almost 100. 

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On 11/9/2023 at 11:54 AM, ABay said:

I was just talking to a friend about this last night. When I was in Ontario 10/29, people were wearing paper poppies and there was a man in uniform outside Walmart with a basket of them. I vaguely recall paper poppies from my childhood but haven't seen any in decades, except on UK TV shows. My friend doesn't remember ever seeing them in real life. She grew up near NYC, I'm from the other end of the state. Maybe proximity to Canada was the difference, WWI being a much bigger deal for commonwealth countries than the U.S.

I was born in and grew up in the UK.  Living now in The States, I miss "Poppy Day".  I don't know if it's still true, but I think this very visual annual reminder kept the horrors of war past and present and the sacrifices of our soldiers, whether conscripted or volunteer, very real.

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The fashion these days seems to be for trousers that, to me, look too short.  As a woman with stumpy legs who has always struggled to find trousers that don't trip me up, I'm all in favour, as the new style fits me perfectly!

I have recently discovered Zella joggers which I have decided are the perfect item of clothing - comfortable, well made, good quality, flattering, great for travel, errands, hanging out, great colours.  Yum.  I love them.  On me, they fit like regular pants, if you have normal legs, they'll look like this:

image.png.1eb189ce5cd7dd53442a1da2654a7932.png

 

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7 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I was born in and grew up in the UK.  Living now in The States, I miss "Poppy Day".  I don't know if it's still true, but I think this very visual annual reminder kept the horrors of war past and present and the sacrifices of our soldiers, whether conscripted or volunteer, very real.

I grew up with it, too, and when I was a kid, it seemed like WW2 was a really big focus in school. I'm GenX. My mum was born at the end of the war. 

I'd actually forgotten about poppy day, until a Canadian friend mentioned it, on facebook. She sent me one made from material, sewn. 

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2 hours ago, Anela said:

I grew up with it, too, and when I was a kid, it seemed like WW2 was a really big focus in school. I'm GenX. My mum was born at the end of the war. 

I'd actually forgotten about poppy day, until a Canadian friend mentioned it, on facebook. She sent me one made from material, sewn. 

What a dear friend you have!

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17 minutes ago, BlueSkies said:

The other side felt more worn in at this point 

That's why I switch sides when I switch blankets (I have a lightweight spring/summer blanket and a thin down blanket for winter) -- I have a Sleep Number mattress, so it doesn't wear out the same way traditional mattresses do, but you still get indentations/sagging in all the stuff above the air chamber if you sleep on the same side all the time.

I'm glad to no longer need to flip a mattress; even back when I just had a double, that was annoying.

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It’s Diwali tomorrow and I found a local woman to do my Mehndi (Henna). She’s AWESOME! And I didn’t have to choose from a design-free flow if you will!

After it dried, she patted it with melted sugar to seal in the color. I didn’t really believe her when she said putting on latex gloves wouldn’t smear or smoosh the henna while I drove home! I drove using my forearms where there wasn’t henna. BUT. She was right. When I cut away the gloves (even though some of it “stuck”(that was the sugar)), 99% still there and no smears!

Just scraped it off with mustard oil. The color will set overnight and it will be a nice dark red in the morning!

Here is what she did:

IMG_7995.jpeg.be790279c025950ced83a8615e431c18.jpegIMG_7996.jpeg.d0a773cf22c2d7b025e66a1d3664a732.jpeg

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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24 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

If I make sure to use mustard oil and use gloves when showering (the oil is a barrier), it can last up to three weeks.

The detail is just amazing!  And Happy Diwali to you!!  (Is that what one wishes for Diwali?) 

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