S01.E07: Social Life

[Armchair Critic]

I don't see this as a social experiment or a way to meet a mate but as a show for my snark & entertainment

 

I'm another Wrong Reasons viewer (see Bachelor In Paradise forum)

[ketose]

I watched a couple of B.O.R.N. to Style episodes. It seems like one of those businesses that caters to minor celebrities. Usually, they re-style some nobody with aspirations of fame and one person who's supposed to be famous going to a fancy event. I suspect that shop disappears as soon as the show does.

 

I also watch the show with the Tiny (around 200 sq ft) Houses and Epic Meal Empire, but not on a regular basis.

[ketose]

By the way, where did they go to visit Jamie's relatives. It was apparently within driving distance of New York but trees and mountains and nature look the same to me.

After minimal effort, I saw that Jamie represented Central New York in the 2012 Miss New York Pageant. If that's where she's from, there are enough rural areas that could be considered redneck a few hours from NYC.

[SistaLadybug]

Married at First Sight really seems to be FYI's heavy hitter. Are any of you watching the other shows? I'm curious about B.O.R.N. to Style (mainly because I could go check out the store if I really wanted to) but I've seen enough styling shows to last me a lifetime.

I've also been watching B.O.R.N. to Style and like it a lot.  That's the only other fyi show I watch.

[trimthatfat]

It never makes sense to me when people say they don't know how to cook. If you can read, you can cook.

 

ITA. I'm not saying that people need to be the next Top Chef, but come on, takeout gets expensive. It doesn't take much to figure out how to roast a chicken and veggies or make a simple lasagna or broil a salmon. My family is from the Caribbean and most everyone I know - men and women - know how to cook, so it's weird to me when I see adults who don't cook at all and seem blase about learning.

 

I feel bad for Jamie's family - they seemed like perfectly sweet people who live very modestly and they've basically been characterized as 'trailer trash'. It seems Jamie had a rough upbringing and witnessed an abusive relationship between her parents, so I get her reluctance when it comes to going home and exposing her painful past to Doug, but I also think she needs to see a professional and work through those issues.

 

I find Courtney and Jason's relationship to be very superficial. He doesn't want to tell her his mom's name? That is just so bizarre to me. Given her sensitive illness, I don't blame Jason for not introducing her to Courtney just yet, but Courtney should at least know the woman's name. I don't know if they have the best odds on this show anymore...Courtney seems too scared to push the more difficult discussions and Jason seems uncomfortable with opening up.

Edited August 21, 2014 by trimthatfat

[MissScarlett]

I find Courtney and Jason's relationship to be very superficial. He doesn't want to tell her his mom's name? That is just so bizarre to me. Given her sensitive illness, I don't blame Jason for not introducing her to Courtney just yet, but Courtney should at least know the woman's name. I don't know if they have the best odds on this show anymore...Courtney seems too scared to push the more difficult discussions and Jason seems uncomfortable with opening up.

 

Same here.  It seems like they have the same conversations week after week:

 

Courtney: I really like you.

Jason:  I really like you too.

Jason:  Best decision Ever.

Courtney: I agree.

 

I think it's a fair statement to make that not everyone on this show is really out to find love.  I'm sure most of the people signed up for the camera time and as a bonus -- if they happened to find someone, that's cool too.  Jason making his mom's name a mystery to Courtney is indicative of that -- in my opinion.

 

Vaughn has not been as difficult to understand this episode.  The therapy session was very eye-opening.  At the end of the day, he really wanted / wants someone like his mom.  He wants someone to cook, clean, and take care of him.  He's a very traditional guy in that way.  It makes me wonder how much they really discussed expectations, wants and needs that go beyond "finances" or "where to live"?

 

21 days in and the experiment is already more than half way over.  These couples have barely scratched the surface of their new relationship.  Conversations between the couples only seem to be about as deep as sex at this point.  2 more weeks (14 days) to make a decision on whether or not they want to stay married?  Yeah right. 

 

From that vantage point, it makes sense to me why some of the people in this are holding back.  Jamie is no fool.  She knows that there is a possibility that Doug could say "adios!" at the end of the 5 weeks.  Jason knows too that Courtney could disappear at the end of this.  In that sense, maybe the holding back of his mother's name is his way of leaving himself an emotional out.

 

I think 5 weeks is way too short.  I would have loved to see this spread out over 3 - 6 months time.  I'm a little frustrated with the show now, when I think of the time factor.

Edited August 21, 2014 by MissScarlett

[Ohwell]

Maybe, but I don't see it necessarily as a negative sign if - particularly in today's uncertain economy - a person continues to live "at home."

My point wasn't that he was living at home, I've got no issue with that.  My point was that he dresses like a slacker and needs to clean himself up.  He just looks sloppy and lazy, even though I'm not saying that he actually is sloppy and lazy.  A good haircut, trimmed beard, something else besides the shorts and tee would do wonders for him. 

[trimthatfat]

 

I think it's a fair statement to make that not everyone on this show is really out to find love.  I'm sure most of the people signed up for the camera time and as a bonus -- if they happened to find someone, that's cool too.  Jason making his mom's name a mystery to Courtney is indicative of that -- in my opinion.

I don't think anyone on this show is/was truly looking for love. There is a voice over when the show begins that says that the people on this show tried everything to find love. Jason and Courtney are, what, 26/27? Jamie is 27. Monet is in her early thirties. And they've tried everything?

[MissScarlett]

There is a voice over when the show begins that says that the people on this show tried everything to find love. Jason and Courtney are, what, 26/27? Jamie is 27. Monet is in her early thirties. And they've tried everything?

 

Yeah, I had to laugh when I heard that in the voiceover.  All of them are attractive and most of them accomplished in their own right.  Maybe it's hard to find love in New Jersey and New York?

[qtpye]

I am guessing Jason and Jamie has a horrible schedules that make socializing very difficult.   Otherwise, who would turn down a sweet hunky EMT worker or a pretty nurse?  I have no idea about the rest of them.

 

It was funny to me in the Previouslytv discussion with Tara, that the guy said he would rather live with Jamie's relatives then in Monet's apartment.  I know that living in New York is not cheap and I thought it was not horrible size, but it does seem a little sparse.

 

I think Jamie said marrying Doug was, at that point, the worst day of her life.  I would think being humiliated by that jerk on Bachelor Pad in front of a national audience would be the worst day of her life.

 

I felt bad for people living in the trailer park that Jamie christened "povertyville".  It really did not look that bad to me.  There was nothing about her sister's home that screamed stupid redneck and the views from the huge deck were lovely.  Her family seems very welcoming of Doug.  Was her drug addicted supposedly non protected intercourse loving mother at the wedding? 

 

Jaimie should be commended for pulling herself out of a rough situation and making something of her life.  However, I have a feeling she is exploiting her back ground for dramatic effect.

 

It's funny, Monet said Vaughn would not an established man and therefore should not have been  looking towards marriage, when Vaughn was in the military for many years and seemed to support himself with a somewhat stable career.  However, if Monet was referring to his emotional maturity, she might have been right.

 

I think the least established person on this show is Doug and he might also the oldest one as well (not sure, maybe Monet is older).  I do not think Doug is some loser that lives in his parent's basement.  I can understand that in this economy, a lot of people have faced some financial hard times.  However, I think Doug needed to have moved out of parent's house before he married someone. I think he has a nice family, but he should have tried to establish a little more independence before getting married.

[aradia22]

 

I watched a couple of B.O.R.N. to Style episodes. It seems like one of those businesses that caters to minor celebrities. Usually, they re-style some nobody with aspirations of fame and one person who's supposed to be famous going to a fancy event. I suspect that shop disappears as soon as the show does.

I checked out their yelp page before the show started. One review. Now that it's been airing for a few weeks there are two reviews.

 

I think the least established person on this show is Doug and he might also the oldest one as well (not sure, maybe Monet is older).

I think Doug is 31 and Monet is 33. I'm not sure what the relevance is but they tend to put their ages next to their names every time they have a talking head as though you're reading an OK Weekly article. Yes, to understand this piece fully I have to know what Angelina Jolie's age is. Thank you, magazine.

[trimthatfat]

 

It was funny to me in the Previouslytv discussion with Tara, that the guy said he would rather live with Jamie's relatives then in Monet's apartment.  I know that living in New York is not cheap and I thought it was not horrible size, but it does seem a little sparse.

 

Maybe it's because I've seen tiny apartments in NYC where the kitchen is basically the size of a stand-alone shower, but I think Monet's apartment is quite nice. I liked Vaughn and Jamie's apartments as well because they had a decent amount of space. Both Jason 's apartment and Courtney's apartment seemed awfully cramped.

Edited August 21, 2014 by trimthatfat

[Bandolero]

"Vaughn has not been as difficult to understand this episode.  The therapy session was very eye-opening.  At the end of the day, he really wanted / wants someone like his mom.  He wants someone to cook, clean, and take care of him.  He's a very traditional guy in that way.  It makes me wonder how much they really discussed expectations, wants and needs that go beyond "finances" or "where to live"?"

 

Sorry haven't learned how to quote yet. Yep... I definitely think that Vaughn is pretty easy to figure out. I think from the beginning he has said that he wanted a traditional relationship. Honestly, I don't know many men who would be cool with a non-cooking woman... I'm sure some are out there but most women I know (even the professional ones) still do most of the cooking, cleaning and child rearing.

 

Re: Jamie. I guess I just don't see how living in a trailer or being a redneck defines somebody either way. I think that is a really superficial way to look at people. I knew a woman whose husband left her with three kids and she had no choice but to live in a trailer (it was cheap) until she could get on her feet (she was also in nursing school at the time). I am sure there are good people who live in trailers just as they are awful people who live in mansions and vice versa. 

[StayingAfterSunday]

My point wasn't that he was living at home, I've got no issue with that.  My point was that he dresses like a slacker and needs to clean himself up.  He just looks sloppy and lazy, even though I'm not saying that he actually is sloppy and lazy.  A good haircut, trimmed beard, something else besides the shorts and tee would do wonders for him. 

Oh, I didn't think you were criticizing the fact that he was living with the parents;  I just had to had to add my own opinion about it because for some reason Jamie was getting on my nerves pretty badly after these last two episodes.  Your post gave me an opportunity to add my own little vent on the issue as her "schmuck" comment came to mind.  

 

And, yes, I agree with you that it would be a nice change to see him in something dressier than the sporty clothes he's always got on!

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

Was her drug addicted supposedly non protected intercourse loving mother at the wedding?

 

Yes, a woman with long blonde hair in a pink blouse I think. Jamie introduced her to Doug as "my Mom." I grew up in houses and trailers and I know one trailer we lived in was nicer and more spacious than some houses I've lived in. Nothing wrong with it. But, I think her shame comes from her and her siblings having different fathers (I say that because after 4 paternity tests they still couldn't identify the father and if they had the same father it wouldn't be such a mystery) and her feeling shame in not knowing who her father was. As well as the neighbors knowing how horrific her household was.

 

Doug may be acting, but, he seems to very accepting of her and her needs. When she wanted to be alone, he took the dog for a walk. When she wanted girl time with her sisters, he went off and played basketball. Girl, get it together, he accepts you. Accept it and move on.

[StayingAfterSunday]

"Vaughn has not been as difficult to understand this episode.  The therapy session was very eye-opening.  At the end of the day, he really wanted / wants someone like his mom.  He wants someone to cook, clean, and take care of him.  He's a very traditional guy in that way.  It makes me wonder how much they really discussed expectations, wants and needs that go beyond "finances" or "where to live"?"

 

Sorry haven't learned how to quote yet. Yep... I definitely think that Vaughn is pretty easy to figure out. I think from the beginning he has said that he wanted a traditional relationship. Honestly, I don't know many men who would be cool with a non-cooking woman... I'm sure some are out there but most women I know (even the professional ones) still do most of the cooking, cleaning and child rearing.

 

Re: Jamie. I guess I just don't see how living in a trailer or being a redneck defines somebody either way. I think that is a really superficial way to look at people. I knew a woman whose husband left her with three kids and she had no choice but to live in a trailer (it was cheap) until she could get on her feet (she was also in nursing school at the time). I am sure there are good people who live in trailers just as they are awful people who live in mansions and vice versa. 

I remember one of my first undertakings as a newlywed was learning to make some really simple -- emphasis on "simple" - recipes.  And we both worked full time, commuting to and from the city each day.  

 

I am not so puzzled anymore about how this rather major misunderstanding could have occurred during the matchmaking process. At least on this one issue, Vaughn appeared to have been forthright about his wanting a wife who cooked.  That's fair, and it's an important enough preference that the experts would almost certainly have prioritized it when choosing a mate for him.

 

However, I have watched Monet and the way she interacts with people, the experts included.  She is very charming and very engaging, maybe to a point of being misleading in her efforts to impress.  When asked if she liked to cook, I can almost hear her saying something to the effect of, "Well, noooo, I've got so many things going on as a single, independent lady, but I am willing and anxious to learn how to cook for the person I marry."  

 

So, so true about not labeling people just because they live in a trailer.  Many people choose trailer living over traditional housing these days, and trailers are as diverse and individualized as the people who live in them. 

[PetuniaP]

 

My family is from the Caribbean and most everyone I know - men and women - know how to cook, so it's weird to me when I see adults who don't cook at all and seem blase about learning.

 

I don't know how to cook and I'm fine with that. Also, I don't consider following a recipe to be the same as knowing how to cook. I've followed recipes and made dishes but not on any kind of regular basis. Vaughn would positively hate me. Fact is, not everyone enjoys cooking. I find it to be an incredibly dull activity. I suspect Monet, as a busy single woman in the city, feels the same way. Luckily, not every man out there is from the stone age, sitting around waiting for a meal to be brought to him. If Vaughn wants home cooking, why not start with learning his damn self? I never understood why cooking is considered a woman's sole responsibility in the home while the majority of celebrated chefs are men. How does that get reconciled in people's minds?

 

 

Maybe it's hard to find love in New Jersey and New York?

 

As a New Yorker, I can attest to this. It's incredibly hard to form relationships in this town, much less find a life-long mate. People in NYC love to live as perpetual 20-somethings, even well into their 40s. Everyone is always looking over their dates shoulder for something/someone better. Plus, so many people are career-focused/caught up in the rat race that it doesn't leave that much time to date. I'm not buying the show's premise that all of these people conducted an exhaustive search for a mate. But I've heard more than one single NYC friend who watches this show say that they would sign up to participate. And that's less of a testament to their famewhoreness than to how difficult the dating scene is. 

Edited August 22, 2014 by PetuniaP

[trimthatfat]

I don't know how to cook and I'm fine with that. Also, I don't consider following a recipe to be the same as knowing how to cook. I've followed recipes and made dishes but not on any kind of regular basis. Vaughn would positively hate me. Fact is, not everyone enjoys cooking.

 

Like I said, I don't get when people don't know how to cook because growing up, everyone around me, male and female, knew enough to prepare a meal for themselves. It's not even about cooking for a man for me - it's about me preferring to prepare what I put in my body versus relying on takeout to feed myself. If people don't want to learn, don't enjoy it, or don't care, that's their prerogative. Variety is the spice of life - some people cook, some don't. I personally could not date someone who doesn't and I'm saying that as a woman. I was very happy when I discovered my husband loved cooking as much as I do. *shrug*

Edited August 22, 2014 by trimthatfat

[trimthatfat]

So, so true about not labeling people just because they live in a trailer.  Many people choose trailer living over traditional housing these days, and trailers are as diverse and individualized as the people who live in them. 

 

This is very true. A very wealthy friend of mine lives in a trailer because his logic is that trailers provide all the space he needs. He has two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a nice kitchen. I never get why people judge others based on their housing situation - there are millionaires living in trailers and people living check to check in huge houses.

[Adeejay]

Maybe it's because I've seen tiny apartments in NYC where the kitchen is basically the size of a stand-alone shower, but I think Monet's apartment is quite nice.

 

With all due respect, I think Monet’s apartment is a dump, especially when compared to Jamie’s and Vaughn’s. Maybe she should put a less emphasis on brunch and a lot more on making her place look presentable; starting with some decent curtains, rugs and a table cloth. I live in NYC, so I know for a fact that they are a lot of places where you can find nice home decors without spending a fortune.

 

My heart goes out to Jamie. I have a feeling there is a lot she isn’t saying. I believe her issues are way more and much deeper than just growing up in a trailer park. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that she’d been “abused”. I can’t imagine what life must have been like for a young girl in a home with a drunk, addicted mother and a revolving door of “Uncle Jimmys”. Given her background, I am curious as to why she chose televised reality dating shows to find a mate.

[trimthatfat]

With all due respect, I think Monet’s apartment is a dump, especially when compared to Jamie’s and Vaughn’s. Maybe she should put a less emphasis on brunch and a lot more on making her place look presentable; starting with some decent curtains, rugs and a table cloth. I live in NYC, so I know for a fact that they are a lot of places where you can find nice home decors without spending a fortune.

 

With all due respect? Heh...I don't think her place looks like a dump at all, but that's my opinion. Her home looks very clean and the decor she does have works for the space from what I see. I've seen dumps. Monet's home doesn't even register as anything near one to me. It looks very presentable. I suppose my standards are not yours and that's okay.

Edited August 22, 2014 by trimthatfat

[aradia22]

 

People in NYC love to live as perpetual 20-somethings, even well into their 40s. Everyone is always looking over their dates shoulder for something/someone better. Plus, so many people are career-focused/caught up in the rat race that it doesn't leave that much time to date. I'm not buying the show's premise that all of these people conducted an exhaustive search for a mate. But I've heard more than one single NYC friend who watches this show say that they would sign up to participate. And that's less of a testament to their famewhoreness than to how difficult the dating scene is.

Admittedly, I'm not trying any harder than using an online dating service but no, it's not easy. I'd be happy enough to find someone normal that I don't hate who I can go on multiple dates with. Never mind looking for some kind of unattainable perfection. That said, I would never never sign up for one of these shows.

[butterly17]

I think Monet's apartment looks very clean.  It's just kinda boring... it has an odd layout where the front door opens directly into the kitchen, and the white paint isn't doing it any favors.

[qtpye]

Admittedly, I'm not trying any harder than using an online dating service but no, it's not easy. I'd be happy enough to find someone normal that I don't hate who I can go on multiple dates with. Never mind looking for some kind of unattainable perfection. That said, I would never never sign up for one of these shows.

 

 

Yeah, I think "tried everything to find love" translates to spent a couple months on Match.com and was not satisfied.  The exception is Jaime, who we all know by now, has been on The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad.

[ketose]

This is very true. A very wealthy friend of mine lives in a trailer because his logic is that trailers provide all the space he needs. He has two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a nice kitchen. I never get why people judge others based on their housing situation - there are millionaires living in trailers and people living check to check in huge houses.

FYI has the show where they move people into tiny houses. One couple put theirs on wheels in the backyard until they could move it to a new location. That way it was a trailer and not a structure and wouldn't get in trouble with zoning.

[Bandolero]

Re: cooking. I think BOTH people in a relationship should know how to cook unfortunately even in this day and age this often falls to the woman. 

 

I kinda echo what others have said cause I look at it as a task that one learns on the way to becoming an adult like washing dishes, ironing, cleaning, paying bills, etc. I understand that some people don't like or even want to cook but when you start talking about having a family then who's going to feed the kids if nobody knows how to cook? I guess if you're wealthy you can hire a chef or eat out all the time but there is nothing like a home cooked meal IMO. I still remember some of the meals my mom cooked...  there is an intimacy and connection there that is incomparable (don't know if that makes sense). I definitely would want my mate to know how to cook because I would not want that task to fall to me all the time... in breeds resentment. To each his own, I guess.

Edited August 23, 2014 by Bandolero

[SnarkKitty]

By the way, where did they go to visit Jamie's relatives. It was apparently within driving distance of New York but trees and mountains and nature look the same to me.

 

 

It appeared to be upstate NY somewhere near Syracuse. And I'm sorry, since when is anyone from upstate NEW YORK considered "redneck??" We get it, you were poor Jaime, but cut the shit, you're milking your upbringing as a poor, black sharecropper.

 

* Maybe it's me, but I'm having a hard time reconciling the embarrassed, ashamed of talking about her background girl with the one who is on her THIRD relationship-based reality show, telling the entire world about her upbringing.

 

* I really like these couples and love this show, but I think all the splice-and-dice editing has finally gotten to me. There is clearly a bunch of jumping around made obvious by their outfits and glimpses at calendars, and the effort to make Vaughn and Monet so up and down even at times they aren't annoys. So this episode I entertained myself trying to figure out exactly where they're living based on where they shopped and ate. I narrowed down Jaime and Doug based on the supermarket, since she walked home with heavy bags, but then they went a good 15 blocks for their dinner - that restaurant is two blocks from my house. If Monet and Vaughn walked to their chilly little brunch, they're about 8-10 blocks from here.

 

* I agree with those who say "cook for me" is code for Vaughn, his "love language" if you will. Mr. Kitty (are we doing that here?) came from a household where his mother never cooked, she would toss takeout money at him and his brother on the way to the next hot spot so for the first 15 years it was a constant refrain in our marriage, covert, overt, constant. It took a while to really realize the damned man wasn't just hungry OR crippled, he just wanted ME to cook for HIM, as that was a show of love. Alas, Mr. Kitty, little Snark was raised in home where as the oldest of five**  she had to cook every Sunday from the age of 12 on, so the last thing she wanted to do was have to cook when she flew the coop. We all got our childhood traumas, dude.

 

* Speaking of ... dang, all the "cooked food" tonight was making ME want pasta and salad and spinach salad w/salmon (hold the strawberries) and poached pears - and there was nothing special about either of those meals AND I don't even think I like poached pears, what was up with that? (also, geeze editors, do you REALLY have to make up a conversation within a conversation?! The damned cuts were ridiculous - Doug's mother would say two words with a plate of pasta and then the last three words she had the dog on her lap, then it was back to the pasta. Are you so hard up to create a storyline you don't even care, as long as you get the words you want in the order you want them? You're being annoying! (TM Vaughn)

 

(** and poor and fatherless with half-brothers and sisters in the NYC equivalent of trailers, the PJs, so suck it, Jaime, you don't own hard times.)

[MsPH]

With all due respect? Heh...I don't think her place looks like a dump at all, but that's my opinion. Her home looks very clean and the decor she does have works for the space from what I see. I've seen dumps. Monet's home doesn't even register as anything near one to me. It looks very presentable. I suppose my standards are not yours and that's okay.

 

I agree. It may not be a colour scheme I'd go for and I'd put a rug on the floor (though maybe the dog isn't well house trained?), but I like the somewhat minimalistic decor. And it seemed like Vaughn appreciated the lack of girliness as well, when he first saw it. Not everyone likes decorative clutter and lots of colour everywhere. It's the opposite of a dump IMO.

 

I do think Monet can take some of the blame for being paired up with Vaughn, because she was telling the experts how she wants a traditional marriage where the man is the head of the household and so on, yet she is the total opposite of a traditional housewife herself. Well she does seem to clean a lot in the shots we see of them in the kitchen, but she doesn't cook and she's very independent and headstrong. So I'm not exactly sure what she wanted from her traditional husband, just someone to pay the bills?

 

I think Jamie said herself on Twitter that she wasn't upset about the trailer park per se, it was all the bad memories she had of that place. And I can definitely understand that, if she grew up with addicts. Being poor is on thing, being surrounded by addicts is another. They can't even take care of themselves, let alone kids. She probably suffered real hunger and neglect at times.

[SnarkKitty]

I always wonder when reading comments if people just live here, or are from here. It makes a difference.

 

With all due respect, I think Monet’s apartment is a dump, especially when compared to Jamie’s and Vaughn’s. Maybe she should put a less emphasis on brunch and a lot more on making her place look presentable; starting with some decent curtains, rugs and a table cloth. I live in NYC, so I know for a fact that they are a lot of places where you can find nice home decors without spending a fortune.

 

 

A dump? Her decor may be somewhat minimal, but it has nice hardwoods, the kitchen is a nice size, there's a separate bedroom AND a smaller room just for her clothes. It's definitely not a dump and probably costs a nice piece of change. Vaughn's place is in south Jersey so he probably pays half of what Monet does for a larger place. And I think Jaime's place is a crackerbox, I mean they were sitting on the floor around a coffee table with a big pot of food on it, and Doug was perched, damned near falling off the chair. The bathroom, bedroom and kitchen are all one giant step off the living nook. Nothing palatial about that joint. At least Monet's place had a couple of places where you could eat like civilized people.

 

    making her place look presentable; starting with some decent curtains, rugs and a table cloth

 

It seems like she did put some effort in; there's definitely that focal wall treatment that didn't come with the space, and she fixed up her dressing room nicely. She maybe doesn't want to deal with rugs, preferring full hardwoods. And are people under the age of 65 even doing table cloths?

 

Her place looks pretty presentable to me. I know I'm extremely squicky about anything grody especially homes, and I have no problem looking at hers. (In contrast, I could hardly look at Jaime's family's place except when they were on the deck, and was thinking "oh, I hope they're staying at a hotel." I had to squint and look out of one eye by the time they showed her sitting in the doorway of the trailer. And I was getting the vapors looking at Jason's mom's place when they showed it early on, mentally willing Courtney to get out of there. Sorry Jason.)

[crazychicken]

Another that thinks Jamie just bugged this week

 

Simple terms my problem with Jamie (and yes I admit I am judging from what is shown on TV)

 

1. If you want people to accept you quirks and all then you also need to accept people quirks and all. Same with respect.

 

2. Yes you should be commended for pulling yourself out of the poverty cycle but just because your siblings are not nurses willing to go on multiple television shows to achieve the same does not make them something to be ashamed off I could understand if they were repeating the cycle of abuse and addiction but not simply because they have not achieved the same level of success as you.

 

3. She expects Doug to accept her family & past for what they are yet doesn't seem to accept them herself.

 

4.She expects other people to emotionally prop her up and give her kudos for overcoming the obstacles in her life but does not do the same in return. ie When Doug was talking about losing his job & house and returning to his parents house, instead of empathy she judged him and told him she would never marry a 'schmuck'. Implying that he was not good enough for her.

 

5. She in constantly putting hurdles in the way of her relationship with Doug and expecting him accept them without hesitation and to his credit I have not seen him react in any negative way to them. If he did the same to her she would give him a spray and run for the hills. She needs to show others the same respect that she expects from them.

 

6. She is an adult so she should be able to filter her words and stop or rephrase hurtful remarks ie ashamed of her family, they are rednecks, her niece & nephew are not to call Doug uncle.

 

7. If you know you have issues letting your guard down do not marry a stranger.

 

8. And finally expecting other people to be perfect is unrealistic even the best people make mistakes or face circumstances that mean they let other people down. It does not make them horrible people it makes them human. You are setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect people to be perfect.

 

I do not think that Jamie is a bad person I just wish that she would work on her issues, having a traumatic childhood is not a free pass to treat others badly. At sometime she needs to stop deal with her past, so that she can be more accepting of herself and other and stop expecting people to treat her badly but as an adult she also needs to own her own behaviour and judgments of others. I guess it circles back to my first point if you want others to accept you freely and without judgement you need to do the same for them.

 

 

OTT but I laughed when listening to Jamie & Doug's wedding song and one of the lines is 'You try not to cry as you walk down the aisle"

 

edited because I can't spell and it wasn't autocorrects fault for once

Edited August 23, 2014 by crazychicken

[crgirl412]

 

If the experts are any kind of experts at all, they would suggest therapy for Jamie.

THIS!!!!  A hundred times over THIS!!!!  She really needs it or maybe she's had some already and it hasn't been all that helpful. 

[crazychicken]

She needs so much therapy, Dr Cirlona defends her and her casting a lot on another board saying she is very authentic in her desire for love and family. What he sees as I authentic I see as red flags, her wanting/expecting a fairytale her desire for babies soon. If somebody points out that she should get herself sorted emotionally first he tells them to look deeper we are misjudging her. Of course we are judging her she has put herself on miltiple tv shows and has no hesitation in judging others. Even if she is genuine I think it hurts the shows credability casting her especially with her trust issues.

I am not sure if I can link or copy his responses but he does defend Jamies casting saying the producers didn't want her yet Jamie in interviews says they called her asking if she was single and willing to do a dating show. He also points out that the show works as 2 of the Danish couples stay together yet ignores that they all divorced within 12 months.

[Bella]

I am not sure if I can link or copy his responses but he does defend Jamies casting saying the producers didn't want her yet Jamie in interviews says they called her asking if she was single and willing to do a dating show. He also points out that the show works as 2 of the Danish couples stay together yet ignores that they all divorced within 12 months.

 

I'm doing a mod response to the bolded. Yes, you can link to other places from here as long as it's not spam or something like porn. We also once deleted a link to a vehemently racist blog.

 

Basically, if they're not doing "something awful" on the other end of the link, we'll allow it.

 

What we don't want - and my only concern here, actually - is that we don't want to use this site to debate and rehash what's happening on another site.

 

So if you can link to Dr. C's comments without hauling that whole conversation over here, that's fine. I think a lot of us are interested in what he has to say, especially since he seems to skedaddled in the face of our skepticism and direct questions.

 

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

 

As for the rest of your post, on a personal (unofficial, non-mod) level, I think you make some good points.

[crazychicken]

Thanks Bella

 

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a51777142/married_at_first_sight_part_3 the first post has a summary of his answers to the main questions in the first 2 threads. When I have time (its 2 am and I am on my phone here) I will get on my PC an look for the specific posts I was thinking of.

[Katmai]

Thanks for the link, crazychicken. I had wondered which site had made him feel all-powerful and hung on his every word. Although I haven't read all the links on that other page, I read enough to see the good Dr sounds quite enamored with Jamie and defends their decision to choose her at every angle. Guess we (here at PTV) hit him with real questions and opinions instead of the posters at the other site, who were instructed to basically keep it light and cheerful when questioning him so as to not run him off like some other sites. LOL I think any professional who is worth their salt should be able to take heat thrown their way, especially when they are featured in a televised show.

[crazychicken]

It won't let me link to individual posts so (and I can't access his post history from profile so it a while to dig them up)

 

the forth post down on this page http://community.babycenter.com/post/a51473470/married_at_first_sight_part_2?cpg=86 he seems a little frustrated when a poster still questioned if some of the participants might have went on the show for a bit of fame he responded with last post on this this page http://community.babycenter.com/post/a51473470/married_at_first_sight_part_2?cpg=90&csi=2465459769&pd=1

 

I haven't found the Jamie ones yet I think they were the first thread.

Thanks for the link, crazychicken. I had wondered which site had made him feel all-powerful and hung on his every word. Although I haven't read all the links on that other page, I read enough to see the good Dr sounds quite enamored with Jamie and defends their decision to choose her at every angle. Guess we (here at PTV) hit him with real questions and opinions instead of the posters at the other site, who were instructed to basically keep it light and cheerful when questioning him so as to not run him off like some other sites. LOL I think any professional who is worth their salt should be able to take heat thrown their way, especially when they are featured in a televised show.

 

That is why I am now sticking to this board I am allowed to have an opinion without being told that I need to rewatch and look deeper. I love that we can have differing opinions while remaining polite to other posters.

[aradia22]

I started reading the fourth post but it made my brain hurt. "distored" "veiwed" "withness" Pull it together, man.

[Bella]

LOL I think any professional who is worth their salt should be able to take heat thrown their way, especially when they are featured in a televised show.

 

Absolutely. One of my clients instructs all of their employees to be able to answer "what keeps you up at night?" whenever asked. I think it's a great question, and I think if Dr. C can't answer that, he really ought to rethink his involvement in matching up people for this show. Like, he could say "I worry that we made a mistake and someone will get badly hurt," or " I worry that the participants weren't entirely truthful with me," or something! 

 

The fact that the participants are willing doesn't absolve him of responsibility to do a good job, try to learn, and apply what he learns the next time around.

[ketose]

I actually like Jamie and she is more comfortable with doing this since she is the biggest star of this digital cable show rather than the one everyone made fun of on a network show. The reality here was that Jamie was not part of that group of people in a room. She said the show called her and asked her to do the show.

 

The dumbest part about calling the advisors "experts" is that they have no experience in setting up arranged marriages. One guy is an atheist minister, another is a clinical psychiatrist, so he doesn't see patients. One is a marriage councilor and the other teaches wives to dress up as naughty nurses to spice up a marriage. I think Dr. Pepper (Schwartz) is the only one who has anything to contribute now that those couples are married.

[ethalfrida]

... I don't consider following a recipe to be the same as knowing how to cook. I've followed recipes and made dishes but not on any kind of regular basis. Vaughn would positively hate me. Fact is, not everyone enjoys cooking. I find it to be an incredibly dull activity. I suspect Monet, as a busy single woman in the city, feels the same way. Luckily, not every man out there is from the stone age, sitting around waiting for a meal to be brought to him. If Vaughn wants home cooking, why not start with learning his damn self? I never understood why cooking is considered a woman's sole responsibility in the home while the majority of celebrated chefs are men. How does that get reconciled in people's minds?

 

On the contrary, knowing how to follow a recipe IS knowing how to cook. You'd be surprised how confusing "tsp" and "T" are to some newbies. But I feel you if you dislike cooking because I simply hate housework. I do housework because it is far better to live in squalor; I want people to trust that the food I prepare is clean; untidiness pre motes vermin... I have a lot of opinion on Vaughn and Monet's cooking disagreement but am reserving it out of respect for how the camera is setting them up for all this. 

 

And then we have your very fine point about the majority of celebrated chefs being men... That is a most insightful statement. Notice that in all professions whether it be art, education, cooking, entertainment or anything with a top tier, it is going to be a boys' school. One of my art professors enlightened me long ago. "Ethal," he said, "art is a boys' school." Then, another one told me, "Ethal, the only difference between you, your classmates and Picasso is that Picasso gets more press." 

 

But, I am partial to people who cook and especially to those who enjoy food. Coming from a long line of Louisiana cooks I learned to appreciate the art. So I have a cooking blog that covers certain techniques and is geared toward new cooks and people who would like to learn to cook from scratch. But people who do not like cooking but enjoy eating and experimentation in foodland are reverred also.

[MsPH]

Thanks for the links, crazychicken! Dr. Cilona seems to be quite the character and not very modest when it comes to his "expertise". No wonder we scared him off so fast. I must say I'm a bit shocked by his mocking tone in response to some questions. I'm all for snarking and sarcasm, but I wouldn't have thought that some random people on the internet could get him so riled up.

 

His comments about Vaughn and Monet are pretty interesting though. Seems he's surprised about his behaviour as well and acknowledges his lack of experience and maturity when it comes to serious relationships. That leads me to wonder why they thought he was a good fit for this show to begin with. You'd think they would only pick people who've been in long-term relationships before, because there's a lot to be learned about love before marriage even comes into question.

Edited August 24, 2014 by MsPH

[aradia22]

 

Thanks for the links, crazychicken! Dr. Cilona seems to be quite the character and not very modest when it comes to his "expertise". No wonder we scared him off so fast.

I feel like this is my fault. ;)

[Ohwell]

Actually, I'm glad we scared the good Dr. off because I wouldn't want to come to this thread and read his snark on posters here, and his excuses for Jamie's behavior.

[Bella]

This discussion should probably be in a different thread, but I can't see one that seems appropriate, the season is close to ending, and this isn't a high-volume forum. If this tangent being in a episode thread really disturbs anyone, PM me with your suggestions, but otherwise I'm just going to let things flow here. [/mod part of this post]

 

I sort of like the way we scared him off.

 

When he came in and pontificated, we asked him questions, then questioned his answers instead of accepting them as just so much wisdom. But no one was rude. And if someone presents himself as an expert but can't hold up his end of a debate, what does that say?

 

 

[queenanne]

Dr. C. seems very set on people's "authenticity", unfortunately as they say, "it is possible to be both completely sincere and sincerely deluded".  You can fool a lie detector answering questions with "what I firmly think and believe is the truth, regardless of whether or not everyone would agree it is the truth".  His response allots ... not very much towards the existence of people's internal subjective dictionaries.

[Grneyedldy]

I'm new to this forum and have only read (for the most part) this thread. I got caught up on the show with some marathon watching. What thread did Dr. C respond in? TIA

[Bella]

I'm new to this forum and have only read (for the most part) this thread. I got caught up on the show with some marathon watching. What thread did Dr. C respond in? TIA

 

He showed up twice in the Episode One thread, and possibly in Episode Two.

[Grneyedldy]

He showed up twice in the Episode One thread, and possibly in Episode Two.

Thank you so much. :-)

[Armchair Critic]

Just saw the part with Jason's wrestling match in an almost empty school gym. Oh dear. And his partner was worried that Cortney would interfere with their wrestling? *snicker*