S14.E10: Guess Who's Coming to Blue Ridge

[TexasGal]

Quote

Marlo plans a glamorous road trip to the mountains in order to recover from stress at home; most of Marlo's friends hit the road to support her, however one of them declines; the weekend of fun takes a left turn when an unexpected visitor arrives.

Airdate: 07/17/2022

[Axie]

I don’t think Kandi is too thrilled with Marlo’s decision to dump her nephews for a month.

[nb360]

What Marlo said about her Mom and her Mom's "mouth" explains a lot about how Marlo is now, sadly.

Also, it just dawned on me now why Sanya may have a thing against Drew. Sanya is also in the "fitness" field w/ her Olympic past and now iFit. I imagine she looks upon Drew's training as more "suburban" rather than professional athletic training, as she's used to.

The fact that Kenya readily knew about how much Marlo weighs confirms my comment a few weeks ago about why Kenya arrived late to Drop it w/ Drew.

[Chatty Cake]

I am enjoying the group if only Marlo and Kenya could quit having the same argument.

Did Marlo throw some money at her sister to take the nephews? Her sister already has 4 kids, is in an apartment and it looks like she has a job. 

Did they spring Sanya’s iFit gig on us to make Drew’s fitness business look more pathetic? It appears Sanya was already an iFit trainer when viewers were introduced to Drop it with Drew. There’s no comparison between the two in terms of fitness so it seems a bit messy. 

[Baltimore Betty]

11 hours ago, Axie said:

I don’t think Kandi is too thrilled with Marlo’s decision to dump her nephews for a month.

If Marlo was going to keep her nephews would that be a court order thing, like she would have to petition the courts to be the legal guardian of them? If it is and the courts granted that right how does it work if she pushes those kids on to her sister even temporarily, like the courts say if you can't keep the boys then they have to go in to foster care. It wouldn't be up to Marlo to re-home the boys, it would be up to the courts?  Did social workers come to her home to check on the boys and to make sure Marlo's home was a safe place for them and to do wellness checks?  I know I have a lot of questions.  

Did Marlo say to the girls if they want a seafood salad at 2am that they should get one? Is she having a chef 24/7 at that house?  

If this trip is just going to be the women arguing with each other the whole time I am going to stay with Kenya, Brooklyn and the nanny in their house.  

Are we betting on whether or not there will be a male stripper at some point?

[byrd]

Marlo is a real piece of work. 

[Keywestclubkid]

Marlo knows damn well that her sister who has 4 kids of her own in that 3 bedroom apartment would be MORE stressed adding those 2 boys then she already was .. She USED those children ... this is str8 up a trash way to get rid of them ... 

Edited July 18, 2022 by Keywestclubkid

[amarante]

Marlo is just awful for essentially abandoning children who have already had trauma in their past given their mother.

You don't dump children because they are misbehaving and you need a break. Children absolutely need unconditional love in the sense that they feel they are not going to be "abandoned" because they misbehave.

The boys' behavior wasn't atrocious - it was typical kid behavior that parents would address by actually being parents. I think Crystal attempted to explain that to Marlo by telling her that if she wants the rooms to be cleaned or laundry to be put away she actually has to follow up with that. Real parents would "parent" by setting up realistic expectations and then enforcing those expectations by normal "punishment" like taking away privileges or whatever.

Also I couldn't believe that Marlo actually dumped the boys off on a single mother who seemed to have an actual job and was living with four children in a three bedroom home.

[Rlb8031]

1 hour ago, amarante said:

Marlo is just awful for essentially abandoning children who have already had trauma in their past given their mother.

You don't dump children because they are misbehaving and you need a break. Children absolutely need unconditional love in the sense that they feel they are not going to be "abandoned" because they misbehave.

The boys' behavior wasn't atrocious - it was typical kid behavior that parents would address by actually being parents. I think Crystal attempted to explain that to Marlo by telling her that if she wants the rooms to be cleaned or laundry to be put away she actually has to follow up with that. Real parents would "parent" by setting up realistic expectations and then enforcing those expectations by normal "punishment" like taking away privileges or whatever.

Also I couldn't believe that Marlo actually dumped the boys off on a single mother who seemed to have an actual job and was living with four children in a three bedroom home.

I'm going to give Marlo some grace here. First, its not like she put the boys out in the street. She sent them to another family member temporarily so she could get her shit together. I will side-eye her because other than talking about how hard it is, it's not clear what she's doing to either get better herself or make it better. Secondly, you can't compare Marlo's behavior in this case with someone who has parented these kids since they emerged from the U. She's been at this a couple of years only, and parenting is definitely one of those things that seems like it should be easier than it often is. The great philosopher Mike Tyson put it best "Everyone has a plan, until you get punched in the face". Marlo's foray into raising boys isn't at all like she imagined, and I don't think she's horrible or miserable for admitting that it's tougher than she thought. I also gave her some credit this week when she met with her sister and disclosed that she had taken her sister in when she was younger, so this wasn't her first go around with "parenting", but that two teenage boys was very different than a teen girl, and she was in a very different place, and had different expectations than she did when she took Crystal in. 

Maybe I'm biased because after my mom's death, my aunt told me that I essentially drove my mom crazy from ages 1-9. I was born into a family of attorneys and came out of the womb with a fully formed personality and opinions plus an innate understanding of how to craft an argument. I was the baby and seemingly all of my siblings were "easy". My mother was at her wits end dealing with a small child who was convinced that she was perfectly capable of caring for herself and asserting her autonomy. She used to beg my aunt to take me - even once telling her that she was convinced if I ever went to hell, the devil would eject me because I'd argue about everything. Suffice to say that she never actually ever got anyone to take me and by the time I became a pre-teen, she learned to at least accept that I was going to be her child who asked questions, fought for what I wanted, and pushed back on everything. At the same time, as a child, I never doubted that she loved me - and recognized early on that she found me to be difficult in part because we had extremely similar personalities. I understand that kids can be difficult, and that it isn't easy or second-nature. Again, while I wish Marlo was making other decisions, I think that her willingness to admit that she's overwhelmed and unable to deal isn't unusual and should be talked about by parents (and parental authorities) more. 

[Keywestclubkid]

10 minutes ago, Rlb8031 said:

I'm going to give Marlo some grace here. First, its not like she put the boys out in the street. She sent them to another family member temporarily so she could get her shit together. I will side-eye her because other than talking about how hard it is, it's not clear what she's doing to either get better herself or make it better. Secondly, you can't compare Marlo's behavior in this case with someone who has parented these kids since they emerged from the U. She's been at this a couple of years only, and parenting is definitely one of those things that seems like it should be easier than it often is. The great philosopher Mike Tyson put it best "Everyone has a plan, until you get punched in the face". Marlo's foray into raising boys isn't at all like she imagined, and I don't think she's horrible or miserable for admitting that it's tougher than she thought. I also gave her some credit this week when she met with her sister and disclosed that she had taken her sister in when she was younger, so this wasn't her first go around with "parenting", but that two teenage boys was very different than a teen girl, and she was in a very different place, and had different expectations than she did when she took Crystal in. 

Maybe I'm biased because after my mom's death, my aunt told me that I essentially drove my mom crazy from ages 1-9. I was born into a family of attorneys and came out of the womb with a fully formed personality and opinions plus an innate understanding of how to craft an argument. I was the baby and seemingly all of my siblings were "easy". My mother was at her wits end dealing with a small child who was convinced that she was perfectly capable of caring for herself and asserting her autonomy. She used to beg my aunt to take me - even once telling her that she was convinced if I ever went to hell, the devil would eject me because I'd argue about everything. Suffice to say that she never actually ever got anyone to take me and by the time I became a pre-teen, she learned to at least accept that I was going to be her child who asked questions, fought for what I wanted, and pushed back on everything. At the same time, as a child, I never doubted that she loved me - and recognized early on that she found me to be difficult in part because we had extremely similar personalities. I understand that kids can be difficult, and that it isn't easy or second-nature. Again, while I wish Marlo was making other decisions, I think that her willingness to admit that she's overwhelmed and unable to deal isn't unusual and should be talked about by parents (and parental authorities) more. 

The point is and the ladies have pointed out when you take responsibility for children you dont get to say oh never mind its to hard and ship them off to a woman with 4 toddlers a full-time job and NO help of her own like she isn't stressed herself ....You dont say you hated the way you grew up and how bad and hard it was then say oh they will be okay I grew up like that.. she's talking out of her ass... and the shit she was saying they were doing is what normal teenagers do they are messy you give them structure...you dont kick them out... 

[byrd]

4 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Marlo knows damn well that her sister who has 4 kids of her own in that 3 bedroom apartment would be MORE stressed adding those 2 boys then she already was .. She USED those children ... this is str8 up a trash way to get rid of them ... 

What if she had her own biological kids, does she think she can just send them away ? 

[Keywestclubkid]

2 minutes ago, byrd said:

What if she had her own biological kids, does she think she can just send them away ? 

She would do what she did with those nephews pawn it off on that poor sister… the disrespect she is showing to not only her sister but her sisters 4 kids and those two nephews.. she just proves to them that unless you are useful to her she has no use for you 

[byrd]

Just now, Keywestclubkid said:

She would do what she did with those nephews pawn it off on that poor sister… the disrespect she is showing to not only her sister but her sisters 4 kids and those two nephews.. she just proves to them that unless you are useful to her she has no use for you 

So sad, but what's worst I even feel sorry for Marlo that she just doesn't get it ..

[qtpye]

6 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

I am enjoying the group if only Marlo and Kenya could quit having the same argument.

Did Marlo throw some money at her sister to take the nephews? Her sister already has 4 kids, is in an apartment and it looks like she has a job. 

Did they spring Sanya’s iFit gig on us to make Drew’s fitness business look more pathetic? It appears Sanya was already an iFit trainer when viewers were introduced to Drop it with Drew. There’s no comparison between the two in terms of fitness so it seems a bit messy. 

The hilarious thing is Drew is the last member of the cast that I would take fitness advice from.

Kandi, Kenya, and Marlo have all gotten snatched this season. Sheree was always fit and Sanya is an Olympic-level athlete.

I understand what it is like to have weight issues. My mother told me that I am just now losing some of the weight I gained from the Pandemic when we all had to stay inside all the time.

However, I am also not trying to take anyone's hard-earned money by shilling my amazing "fitness program"

[bichonblitz]

I've been to Blue Ridge many times. It's a cute little mountain town just 2 hrs north of Atlanta. Nothing more. Marlo acts like she planned a trip to the freakin' French Riviera. The house is awesome and I'm sure BRAVO researched and rented it for them. Marvelous Marlo had nothing to do with it. Can't stand this phony bish. Keep reading her for filth, Kenya! 

[amarante]

6 hours ago, Rlb8031 said:

I'm going to give Marlo some grace here. First, its not like she put the boys out in the street. She sent them to another family member temporarily so she could get her shit together. I will side-eye her because other than talking about how hard it is, it's not clear what she's doing to either get better herself or make it better. Secondly, you can't compare Marlo's behavior in this case with someone who has parented these kids since they emerged from the U. She's been at this a couple of years only, and parenting is definitely one of those things that seems like it should be easier than it often is. The great philosopher Mike Tyson put it best "Everyone has a plan, until you get punched in the face". Marlo's foray into raising boys isn't at all like she imagined, and I don't think she's horrible or miserable for admitting that it's tougher than she thought. I also gave her some credit this week when she met with her sister and disclosed that she had taken her sister in when she was younger, so this wasn't her first go around with "parenting", but that two teenage boys was very different than a teen girl, and she was in a very different place, and had different expectations than she did when she took Crystal in. 

Maybe I'm biased because after my mom's death, my aunt told me that I essentially drove my mom crazy from ages 1-9. I was born into a family of attorneys and came out of the womb with a fully formed personality and opinions plus an innate understanding of how to craft an argument. I was the baby and seemingly all of my siblings were "easy". My mother was at her wits end dealing with a small child who was convinced that she was perfectly capable of caring for herself and asserting her autonomy. She used to beg my aunt to take me - even once telling her that she was convinced if I ever went to hell, the devil would eject me because I'd argue about everything. Suffice to say that she never actually ever got anyone to take me and by the time I became a pre-teen, she learned to at least accept that I was going to be her child who asked questions, fought for what I wanted, and pushed back on everything. At the same time, as a child, I never doubted that she loved me - and recognized early on that she found me to be difficult in part because we had extremely similar personalities. I understand that kids can be difficult, and that it isn't easy or second-nature. Again, while I wish Marlo was making other decisions, I think that her willingness to admit that she's overwhelmed and unable to deal isn't unusual and should be talked about by parents (and parental authorities) more. 

I think you are missing the point. 
 

Your mother didn’t abandon you because you weren’t a paragon of obedience. Most parents have moments or days or even longer stretches when they might fantasize about their children disappearing 🤫😂

Decent parents - not even incredibly talented parents - hang in there and don’t drop off their kids because they are not perfect. 

And that is especially true when the behavior is completely normal for kids.  My mother and I would have epic battles over the messiness of my room and my father would tell her that it wasn’t worth it so she just shut the door and left me to it when I went through that stage. She didn’t just drop my off at a relative especially not one who was even more stressed than she would have been as Crystal had more objective stresses than Marlo as Crystal appeared to be a single mother with four young children and not a whole lot of money to hire assistants and Nannie’s and drivers. 
 

The appropriate action would have for Marlo not to add to the boys’ feelings of instability and conditional love by getting therapy fr herself and the kids.

I am not sure that having your kids wake you up so that you can see how they are dressed for school indicates a high level of taking responsibility for parenting. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Edited July 18, 2022 by amarante

[Keywestclubkid]

Those two boys will now be used as caregivers for those toddlers… I can already hear Marlo with the trade off … you get to rest cause those boys will have to take care of those kids and I’ll get to be unshackled from the “burden” of them being around… those boys arnt getting a home they are getting stuck playing parent themselves to their cousins 

[Chatty Cake]

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

The hilarious thing is Drew is the last member of the cast that I would take fitness advice from.

Kandi, Kenya, and Marlo have all gotten snatched this season. Sheree was always fit and Sanya is an Olympic-level athlete.

I understand what it is like to have weight issues. My mother told me that I am just now losing some of the weight I gained from the Pandemic when we all had to stay inside all the time.

However, I am also not trying to take anyone's hard-earned money by shilling my amazing "fitness program"

I agree yet I feel bad for Drew at times. She will need to drop more before any of the ladies give her any credit. The other ladies like to get on her case. Fatum digging up stuff on her, Sanya turned on her quickly for favor with the more popular housewives, and all the little digs they throw at her. 

[FlyingEgret]

So apparently the boys get themselves up, get dressed, turn Marlo's bedroom light on for a once-over approval, take their vitamins and get themselves to school - from anecdotal experience, that is amazing behavior from teenagers...

[Hiyo]

I thought the kids were only supposed to be at her sister's for 30 days?

[CrinkleCutCat]

14 hours ago, FlyingEgret said:

So apparently the boys get themselves up, get dressed, turn Marlo's bedroom light on for a once-over approval, take their vitamins and get themselves to school - from anecdotal experience, that is amazing behavior from teenagers...

Marlo has unicorn nephews!

I understand it must be hard for Marlo to raise teenagers (shudders at my memories! 4 of them! Divorced, so a single mum during their teen years 😳) but it’s no different to us parents that raise them from birth … those teenage years can be a shock to the best of us… even though we hear enough about it all the time it’s still a shock when we go through it ourselves!!! So Marlo is going through normal teenager parenting, and dealing with quite minor teenager behaviour, yet she’s not coping? Cry me a river sweetheart! How many of us wish we could have the luxury of a 30 day break?! That’s the lesson of parenting: you can’t walk away or take a break, you have to tough it out/figure it out/learn/strategise/grow. However,  you do get to remind them that one day they will be changing your adult nappies (diapers for you Americans!) ha ha ha!

Edited July 19, 2022 by CrinkleCutCat

[Baltimore Betty]

7 hours ago, Hiyo said:

I thought the kids were only supposed to be at her sister's for 30 days?

In Bravo time or real time?

[Hiyo]

In Marlo's view, whichever lasts longer, I imagine...

[Stats Queen]

My husband was stuck with me watching the episode as we were in a hotel room.

We live in Metro Atlanta and love Blue Ridge. 
 

When Marlo said “We’re going to Blue Ridge”, he said “What did Blue Ridge do to deserve that.” 🤣🤣🤣

He then put in his headphones and watched something on his laptop.

Edited July 19, 2022 by Stats Queen

[FizzyPuff]

I actually respect Marlo for saying she couldn’t cope, what I don’t respect is her dumping those two boys on her sister who has four kids of her own. Ok she needed a break, could she not have asked her sister to look after them for a weekend? Why did it have to be 30 days? Also I wonder what she told them when she dropped them off at her sisters? I hope it wasn’t too bad (blaming them) those poor boys don’t have their mom, have been abandoned by their aunt and our now staying with their other aunt, they could easily be internalising this as it’s all there fault and no one wants them. It just a sad situation all round. 

[lasu]

When Kenya and Marlo had their confrontation at dinner, did Marlo admit to having formerly been a prostitute??

For a different perspective on “needing a break,” I was raised by a single dad, just the two of us.  My dad never told me he needed a break from me, not ever, not even once.  But he had a regularly scheduled babysitter on Wednesday nights.  I went to sleepover camps in the summer. My maternal grandmother retired from teaching to be helpful to my dad, and the second I got a sniffle, I spent a week at my grandparents so my dad didn’t have to miss work while I was out of school.  I also spent a couple of weeks there in the summer, another week with my aunt, another week with my other grandparents in Florida.  Let’s just say, my dad managed to get legit breaks!  Dude was constantly shipping me off, lol.  I just always saw these as MY vacations, and always knew where my home was.  It never even occurred to me until I was an adult that maybe the vacation was just as much for my dad, and I have no problem with that.

What bothers me about the way Marlo has handled this is that she is on one hand presenting as a mental health break, but she’s also been pretty clear this is a punishment for the boys.  Children shouldn’t fear losing their homes as a punishment for misbehavior.  I also caught that while Marlo said she got her sister out of the foster care system, she also alluded to it not working out with them either, so there was something there too.  There’s no question Marlo didn’t have role models for stable parenting, and I don’t think she sees that bouncing the boys between family members is only fractionally better than being in the actual foster system.  The loss of stability is there either way.  Plus they have even moved homes during this 30 day exile, which I’m sure was also stressful.  I cannot believe Marlo took them there, making it SEVEN people in a two-bedroom apartment.  I get that Marlo isn’t their parent and should be commended, but she took this break at her sister's expense.

Someone asked above if the courts would have been involved, or if social workers would have been assigned to the boys, and I think it’s highly unlikely.  I may be misremembering, but I think Marlo took custody of the boys before her sister went to jail.  So it’s not much different than if I had moved in with my aunt as a kid.  It’s family business.  Unless someone called in child welfare, it’s not likely “the system” would get involved.  Which, even though I said being bounced around family members is only fractionally better than the foster care system, it is still better.  But it’s unfortunate that this cycle seems to be repeating itself.

Also, DID MARLO ADMIT TO BEING A PROSTITUTE??

[queta]

2 hours ago, lasu said:

What bothers me about the way Marlo has handled this is that she is on one hand presenting as a mental health break, but she’s also been pretty clear this is a punishment for the boys.  Children shouldn’t fear losing their homes as a punishment for misbehavior.

Yeah, her reaction was extreme, and she said that when the boys come back they should be "more grateful.". Why didn't she take away their phone or video games as a consequence? She expects them to behave, otherwise they aren't sufficiently grateful for her letting them live there. It makes me feel really sad for those boys. They were obviously acting out because they felt rejected by their mom, and now their aunt kicks them out of their house as a punishment. It's sad to watch. Marlo is so self-absorbed that she takes their behavior as some kind of personal affront; they're kids, dumb ass. And no, they probably won't admit to needing therapy, but they obviously do. 

And if she needed a break, it should have been for a weekend or something. Sending them to a sister with 4 kids of her own to raise for an entire month is just being an asshole.

Edited July 20, 2022 by queta

[Baltimore Betty]

Marlo sent the boys to her sister's house because of the wet laundry and disrespect they were showing, we see her in their bedroom with clothes everywhere including the wet laundry...what clothes did those kids pack to take with them?

Edited July 21, 2022 by Baltimore Betty
spelling

[queta]

3 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Marlo sent the boys to her sister's house because of the wet laundry and disrespect they were showing, we see her in their bedroom with clothes everywhere including the wet laundry...what cltohes did those kids pack to take with them?

Very good question.