Tough Love With Hilary Farr - General Discussion

[sheetmoss]

About The Show

Renowned designer Hilary Farr is challenged by families whose dysfunctional houses are putting a strain on their relationships. Hilary uses creative design solutions with a dash of tough love to renovate their spaces and get these families back on track.

HGTV - Mon 9pmEt/8pmCT

[sheetmoss]

Re: blended family eppy

 

I normally like Hillary's design  on her other show, but  this was meh-ish

Her personality was  a little too brash on the show lastnight. 

I think that primary suite lounge will go back to being a family room when girls get into their teen

I think she could have made the primary bdrm nightstands bigger

 

[formerlyfreedom]

I've watched both episodes, and I don't hate it, but I'm not sure Hilary is enough to keep me engaged. I do kind of enjoy her telling homeowners to suck it up though!

[buttersister]

The house for tonight's couple was nice considering I don't love open plan but see how this will work for them. But so far, the designs don't quite measure up to LIoLI, so I'm wondering if that competitive factor is a driver for Hilary.

I still like her style, so I'll keep watching. I don't mind the "tough love" and because she doesn't have to suck up to homeowners as she does on the other show, it's a relief to hear her confront them with the things she normally just tells her contractor.😃

[MsTree]

I'm really enjoying Hilary's new show.  Of course I miss the David/Hilary banter, but let's face it...David is/was Tommy Smothers to Hilary's Dick Smothers.

BTW, does it also seem like the budgets go further on this show as opposed to LIorLI?

[Dehumidifier]

4 hours ago, MsTree said:

I'm really enjoying Hilary's new show.  Of course I miss the David/Hilary banter, but let's face it...David is/was Tommy Smothers to Hilary's Dick Smothers.

BTW, does it also seem like the budgets go further on this show as opposed to LIorLI?

I noticed that too. $100K budget, Hilary says, I can give you everything you desire. On LIorLI, $100K budget, Hilary says, I'll try but you may have to do without a roof and windows are iffy too.

[Pine]

I like her new show thus far.  My only problem is...and it is a stupid one....she seems to have bulked up on fillers, and her face looks terrible.  She is a lovely woman, I don't know why she would have done this freezing look.  On the other hand, I may be totally off, and she has had some surgery or a slight stroke.   Don't get me wrong, I do like her and her designs, I just hate us older women thinking that we have to hide the fact that we are aging with surgeries etc....

[deirdra]

45 minutes ago, Pine said:

On the other hand, I may be totally off, and she has had some surgery or a slight stroke.   

She has admitted to finger surgery in 2020 and a few years back after a full season of LIoLI with her hair covering half her face, she said on Canadian TV that she had a bad reaction to Botox that caused one eye to droop and it took 6 months to fully recover.

Edited January 4, 2022 by deirdra

[ML89]

So I'm in the beginning of watching the ep from Monday - do I understand correctly that these people have been in this house since 2003 and they have never had the outside painted? It looks like a house Erin and Ben of Hometown would pitch to homeowners with "well, we can fix the outside."

[Dehumidifier]

7 hours ago, ML89 said:

So I'm in the beginning of watching the ep from Monday - do I understand correctly that these people have been in this house since 2003 and they have never had the outside painted? It looks like a house Erin and Ben of Hometown would pitch to homeowners with "well, we can fix the outside."

It looked like it hadn't been painted since 1903.

[Chit Chat]

I'm liking this show.  I like LI or LI, but honestly, I always fast forwarded through the homeowner's property search with David because I was just interested in the remodel.  I admire Hilary's design choices when it comes to the overall redo of a home.  She certainly has a gift for figuring out how to make a home more functional.  I like watching her initial walk-through and how she can determine which walls need to come down, and other major renovation ideas that she can envision.  

[Barlowe]

This current episode with the mother and daughter seems the most staged and unnecessary. The homeowners had enough capacity to hire a contractor to do the mother’s addition and they could add in tearing down the wall they claimed was ruining their life? It just seemed so fake that they spent more than half of the episode pretending as if the show’s contractor wasn’t going to take over the unfinished job. 
 

it just seemed unnecessary for them to be on the show when they could’ve just hired a designer to work alongside the contractor that was still allegedly working.

[Grizzly]

I love Hillary's silver jacket. So long beer barrel and ugly furniture. I'm wondering how much it cost to ship all of that to Germany and back. Does she have a job? Would be curious to see the episode of them finding a house in Germany.

[Cetacean]

11 hours ago, Barlowe said:

It just seemed so fake that they spent more than half of the episode pretending as if the show’s contractor wasn’t going to take over the unfinished job. 

Fifteen minutes of fame. "Did you see us on the teevee????"

[Chit Chat]

10 hours ago, Grizzly said:

So long beer barrel and ugly furniture. I'm wondering how much it cost to ship all of that to Germany and back.

Some of the problems in that house could've been solved with some simple organization.  It is very overwhelming when everything is strewn about.  Simple fix:  pick it up!!  

[ECM1231]

10 hours ago, ChitChat said:

Some of the problems in that house could've been solved with some simple organization.  It is very overwhelming when everything is strewn about.  Simple fix:  pick it up!!  

Plus, they just had too much stuff!

Something was 'off' about the mom. I just had the feeling that all her 'histrionics' over being so overwhelmed and feeling so sad that her children had to move so suddenly from Germany and having to give them their own special space, was just a gimmick for her to be on television. When questioned by Hilary about how they were doing and how they felt about the move, the children said they were fine. 

I can understand that the move was rushed and there was very limited housing stock in their preferred area, but they had a very healthy $175,000 budget and I'm sure they could have gotten any contractor to work on their home. 

Plus, they definitely were not hurting for money as they decided to leave the construction zone and stay at their beach home. 

I don't know, the mom just bugged me. Plus, there's only a finite amount of space and I'm guessing the budget wasn't enough to make some sort of rec room for the kids in the basement.  I liked almost everything Hilary did except I didn't think the family room/living room was functional at all. They are a family of 5. Hilary got rid of the large sectional, yes, but replaced it with a smallish sofa. I think there were two additional uncomfortable looking chairs. It certainly looked nicer but lacked adequate seating, imo.

[CattyK]

I’d love to know what happened to all the unnecessary stuff they had filling every room…maybe they trucked it out to the beach house!  
I also wonder how many weeks it took mom to reclutter the pristine redo.  

[Chit Chat]

22 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Hilary got rid of the large sectional, yes, but replaced it with a smallish sofa. I think there were two additional uncomfortable looking chairs. It certainly looked nicer but lacked adequate seating, imo.

I've noticed on a lot of these types of shows that the new sofas/chairs don't look too comfortable (low back on many of them).  I wonder how many homeowners end up replacing the furniture.

18 hours ago, CattyK said:

I also wonder how many weeks it took mom to reclutter the pristine redo.  

I'm thinking the same thing.  Hoarding/clutter is a common theme among many of these folks on these shows.  A renovation and new furniture will probably not keep them from messing it all up again in a short matter of time, especially if any or all of the family members don't do their part in keeping it clutter-free.  

[Cetacean]

37 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

I'm thinking the same thing.  Hoarding/clutter is a common theme among many of these folks on these shows.  A renovation and new furniture will probably not keep them from messing it all up again in a short matter of time, especially if any or all of the family members don't do their part in keeping it clutter-free.  

I call BS on a lot of this stuff.  Yes, they have to declutter and all of that stuff is stashed somewhere for the final reveal but you know good and well it's not gone.  It's like the big reveal of the new closets - there will be three or four shirts and a couple of pairs of shoes in there.  The home owner certainly didn't toss out all of their clothing, it's in a bin or storage closet somewhere waiting to be stuffed back in.

[Chit Chat]

1 hour ago, Cetacean said:

The home owner certainly didn't toss out all of their clothing, it's in a bin or storage closet somewhere waiting to be stuffed back in.

I'm sure they're anxious to get their stuff back out of storage.  I'd wager that at least half of them go back to cluttering up the place within a month or so of the renovation.

[ArtFossil]

On 1/4/2022 at 2:19 PM, Pine said:

I like her new show thus far.  My only problem is...and it is a stupid one....she seems to have bulked up on fillers, and her face looks terrible.  She is a lovely woman, I don't know why she would have done this freezing look.  On the other hand, I may be totally off, and she has had some surgery or a slight stroke.   Don't get me wrong, I do like her and her designs, I just hate us older women thinking that we have to hide the fact that we are aging with surgeries etc....

Hillary looks terrific to me. (She's 69.)

Edited January 18, 2022 by ArtFossil

[buttersister]

Hilary is a cancer survivor and amazing looking—Kristin Davis needs Hilary’s plastic surgeon’s phone number. Guessing she’s wearing spank under those tight jeans👏🏻

Both places looked terrific. And seemed like a ton of work for the money—looking closely, Hilary did find some money savers. Having spent big bucks on the quartz, Sherrie got a white subway tile backsplash and nothing fancy shower. Which made sense! Finally. Cutting back on finishes instead of demanding more money or it can’t be done. 👏🏻👏🏻

Poor Juan has resting unhappy face. Camera caught him a few times looking miserable. 

 

[3 is enough]

If I had that mother-in-law I would be miserable too.. What a sour puss of a woman she was.  

[MsTree]

I realize some of these shows are "staged" to look messy, but the woman from Germany.... 18 months and your house still looks like shit?!?? There's really no excuse for not putting stuff away. I don't care if you have to shove your crap under the bed or in the shower behind a curtain. Just don't stand there and look like a lazy ass person to millions of viewers.

[ECM1231]

Where do you think most of the homes are located? I don't think they mentioned it in the latest episode. The couple moving back from Germany lived somewhere in NJ.

I was surprised to see that Hilary's design studio is in Philadelphia. Philly is a perfectly lovely city but just seemed like an odd place for Hilary to wind up. 

I'd love to know more about her background. Anyone know?

[3 is enough]

I think the studio is just for the show. I'm pretty sure Hillary lives in Toronto.  The latest season of Love It Or List It was filmed in Toronto.

My guess is HGTV scouts out locations for new shows so audiences from across the country feel included.

Hot Mess House filmed in New Jersey I think but the host is also from Toronto.  

[Chit Chat]

3 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

I'd love to know more about her background. Anyone know?

Sorry, but I don't know much about her!  I was so late to the party in regard to the show 'Love It or List It', so I'm out of the loop with any info on her.   I do love most of her home makeovers.  She has a good eye for making space when the options seemed rather limited.  

[Boston]

22 hours ago, ArtFossil said:

Hillary looks terrific to me. (She's 69.)

I think Hilary looks good.  Wouldn't fillers make her face look pudgy?  I don't know.  But I laughed when the contractor said he was moving to NY and wanted to know what places Hilary could recommend.  and she said " i don't eat pizza.. only in Italy).  Shot that guy down.  But I truly believe her.

18 hours ago, buttersister said:

Hilary is a cancer survivor and amazing looking—Kristin Davis needs Hilary’s plastic surgeon’s phone number. Guessing she’s wearing spank under those tight jeans👏🏻

Both places looked terrific. And seemed like a ton of work for the money—looking closely, Hilary did find some money savers. Having spent big bucks on the quartz, Sherrie got a white subway tile backsplash and nothing fancy shower. Which made sense! Finally. Cutting back on finishes instead of demanding more money or it can’t be done. 👏🏻👏🏻

Poor Juan has resting unhappy face. Camera caught him a few times looking miserable. 

 

Juan is checked out.

16 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

If I had that mother-in-law I would be miserable too.. What a sour puss of a woman she was.  

If you have a mother (who you REALLY don't or never got along with.. you would would get it.  YES, the mother had NO PERSONALITY.  but i get how they didn't get along (even Hilary kind of said she and her mother didn't get along).  Welcome to my world.

[Boston]

15 hours ago, MsTree said:

I realize some of these shows are "staged" to look messy, but the woman from Germany.... 18 months and your house still looks like shit?!?? There's really no excuse for not putting stuff away. I don't care if you have to shove your crap under the bed or in the shower behind a curtain. Just don't stand there and look like a lazy ass person to millions of viewers.

That house was a DISASTEROUS MESS!  Too much stuff.  I mean, come on, all that shit on the dining room table?   I also don't know if I believe it.  OWN IT.

7 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Where do you think most of the homes are located? I don't think they mentioned it in the latest episode. The couple moving back from Germany lived somewhere in NJ.

I was surprised to see that Hilary's design studio is in Philadelphia. Philly is a perfectly lovely city but just seemed like an odd place for Hilary to wind up. 

I'd love to know more about her background. Anyone know?

I was also surprised that Hilary's studio was in Philadelphia.  You can tell where they are filming by all the contractors and other people's accent.   and the PRICES of the houses??? Definitely Canada.  The show is produced from Canada (just like Love it Or List It)

[Boston]

Defitely.. YES

[ECM1231]

1 hour ago, Boston said:

That house was a DISASTEROUS MESS!  Too much stuff.  I mean, come on, all that shit on the dining room table?   I also don't know if I believe it.  OWN IT.

I was also surprised that Hilary's studio was in Philadelphia.  You can tell where they are filming by all the contractors and other people's accent.   and the PRICES of the houses??? Definitely Canada.  The show is produced from Canada (just like Love it Or List It)

I'm confused. Hilary's new show is filmed in the Philly area. As far as cities go, Philadelphia prices are fairly inexpensive.

"Where is ‘Tough Love’ filmed?

Throughout the series, Hilary visits many different homes but according to an interview with ‘Love It Or List It’ executive Brian Balthazar, the majority of filming takes place in and around Philadelphia.

 

The show follows Farr on her first solo endeavour visiting multiple households across the state and helping them turn their home and personal lives around with a bit of tough love.

 

Certain parts of the filming are done in other areas across the country but the homes and families featured are all based in Philadelphia.

 

Perfectly fitting to the show, the homes receiving Farrs’ blunt, honest but impactful help are located in the ‘City of Brotherly Love.’ "

https://www.realitytitbit.com/hgtv/where-is-tough-love-with-hilary-farr-filmed-on-hgtv

 

 

 

 

[Boston]

1 hour ago, ECM1231 said:

I'm confused. Hilary's new show is filmed in the Philly area. As far as cities go, Philadelphia prices are fairly inexpensive.

"Where is ‘Tough Love’ filmed?

Throughout the series, Hilary visits many different homes but according to an interview with ‘Love It Or List It’ executive Brian Balthazar, the majority of filming takes place in and around Philadelphia.

 

The show follows Farr on her first solo endeavour visiting multiple households across the state and helping them turn their home and personal lives around with a bit of tough love.

 

Certain parts of the filming are done in other areas across the country but the homes and families featured are all based in Philadelphia.

 

Perfectly fitting to the show, the homes receiving Farrs’ blunt, honest but impactful help are located in the ‘City of Brotherly Love.’ "

https://www.realitytitbit.com/hgtv/where-is-tough-love-with-hilary-farr-filmed-on-hgtv

 

 

 

 

I'm very confused

[buttersister]

2 hours ago, Boston said:

YES, the mother had NO PERSONALITY.  but i get how they didn't get along

The mom was happy to be living in a house in Florida (🤮). The daughter stated that they had been friends/ close when that was the living arrangement. Trick was, mom was broke, so moving her into their place was the smart financial move. Plus, free child care. Unfortunately the set up was from hell—and mom had to learn the hard way to stfu. Hopefully things will be better now.

[ECM1231]

1 minute ago, Boston said:

I'm very confused

Lol. Please explain.

I thought you were saying that Tough Love with Hilary Farr was filmed in Canada. You mentioned accents being a sort of give away, but that could be true for other areas other than Canada. When you mentioned the prices of the houses definitely pointed it being in Canada, is where you lost me. That's why I posted the link.

 

I did check Wikipedia for more info about Hilary. She is based in Toronto and NYC, so I think her Philadelphia studio is just for the new show.

[Boston]

14 hours ago, buttersister said:

The mom was happy to be living in a house in Florida (🤮). The daughter stated that they had been friends/ close when that was the living arrangement. Trick was, mom was broke, so moving her into their place was the smart financial move. Plus, free child care. Unfortunately the set up was from hell—and mom had to learn the hard way to stfu. Hopefully things will be better now.

Yes.  I was thinking, if the Mom wanted to live in Florida  (and seemed) to hate moving with her daughter (who was paying all the mother's bills).  Why not pay for assisted living - THENNNN.. I hear the mother say" nice place after you get out of your 50s".. again WHHHHHHHHHHATT.  God love her.. but my birthday was today and I AM OLDER THAN HER.. and i could send some pics.  but .. no looks, no personality..   Not living with MY MOTHER WHO IS A PAIN IN THE ASS also.
 

Edited January 19, 2022 by Boston
wribg

[Dehumidifier]

Assisted living? That costs 5,000 a month at least and was there any indication that the mother needed assisted living? The mother missed Florida so Hilary decorated to remind her of Florida? Cruel!

[sheetmoss]

RE:  Philly PA and possible  why...

Many times  the  reason shows film where they are  is for state film tax breaks

[Boston]

14 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Lol. Please explain.

I thought you were saying that Tough Love with Hilary Farr was filmed in Canada. You mentioned accents being a sort of give away, but that could be true for other areas other than Canada. When you mentioned the prices of the houses definitely pointed it being in Canada, is where you lost me. That's why I posted the link.

 

I did check Wikipedia for more info about Hilary. She is based in Toronto and NYC, so I think her Philadelphia studio is just for the new show.

I kind of meant that the people who work on the show seem to have a Canadian accent - no problem.  I was just wondering myself.  Because Hilary's studio was in Philadelphia.  and on Love It Or List It.. I never knew where they were - and David had a definitely Canadian accent.  and also.  the prices of the homes.  I didn't know they were so high in Canada.  I wasn't knocking Canada at all.  (my mother is French Canadian)

[Ottis]

Ya’ll were too kind to the people who moved back from Germany. The husband said almost nothing, what he did say was he was ready for change. The wife needs counseling. She hates change and hangs on to everything as a life raft against it. She also seems to be lazy. If your problem is visible laundry, put it away. And there is something insidious going on that she creates a false narrative about the kids when even the kids know it is about their mom. And what was with all the crosses? My guess is that 6 months after the changes, they still have the same issues. 

[ML89]

On 1/18/2022 at 11:07 PM, Dehumidifier said:

Assisted living? That costs 5,000 a month at least and was there any indication that the mother needed assisted living? The mother missed Florida so Hilary decorated to remind her of Florida? Cruel!

I live in Florida and I am sick of seeing what designers think Florida looks like (although I’ve seen that awful teal in stores here). 

The mother was a terribly unhappy person (I would be too, based on the story they told). The parents didn’t seem much happier. 
 

Germany couple had a lot of problems. I’m beginning to think Hillary needed to do this show like Love It Or List It but replace David with a counselor. 

[readheaded]

I read this article about Hilary over the weekend: https://www.google.com/amp/s/people.com/health/love-it-or-list-its-hilary-farr-reveals-breast-cancer/%3famp=true

[Cetacean]

Quite a difference in the mom factor last night.  That mom was moved to tears by her daughter taking her in.  And I loved the "out with the old" attitude she had.

I am SO tired of "open concept" and the kitchens keep getting bigger and bigger until they are 4 timies the size of the living room.  It's nutty, in my opinion.  No way in hell do I want dirty dishes and pots and pans in plain view while I prepare meals. Do these people wash everything and put it away before they sit down to eat?  Otherwise everyone on the first floor can see it all.

And what's with the formal dining AND eat in kitchen AND huge island with tons of stools for a family of four or five.  Gimme a break.

[ChelleGame]

52 minutes ago, Cetacean said:

I am SO tired of "open concept" and the kitchens keep getting bigger and bigger until they are 4 timies the size of the living room.  It's nutty, in my opinion.  No way in hell do I want dirty dishes and pots and pans in plain view while I prepare meals. Do these people wash everything and put it away before they sit down to eat?  Otherwise everyone on the first floor can see it all.

This. Exactly. 

We're in the middle of a house hunt and it's so hard to find homes with separated rooms. My husband loves open concept (but he doesn't cook or clean) so he doesn't understand my issue.  Craftsman might fit the bill with the pocket doors to give openness when needed and privacy when I want it.

Anyway. I am enjoying this show. Just watched the episode with the barn.  It's really interesting to see what holds people back. It's made me rethink this move and attachment to "stuff".

[Chit Chat]

8 hours ago, Cetacean said:

Quite a difference in the mom factor last night.  That mom was moved to tears by her daughter taking her in.  And I loved the "out with the old" attitude she had.

That was really nice.  I got the impression that her mom might have limited funds, so living with them would still allow her to do some traveling and not worry about the upkeep of a house.  She said that by them taking her in, it lifted a huge burden off of her.  I'm glad that they were able to transform the downstairs into such a beautiful place for her.

Having said that though, I really wasn't too crazy about the remodeled upstairs.  The kitchen was beautiful, but it was just too open for me.  I don't like coming in the front door and being able to look straight into the kitchen like that. 

They were really limited on where they could put the TV, and by moving it to the other wall, it still made furniture placement difficult.  People sitting on the sofa will have to turn to the right to see it, and the other 2 chairs (which looked very uncomfortable) will have to be physically turned to see it.  Am I remembering correctly that the kitchen island is now the dining room table too?  I didn't care for that.  I'm old fashioned and like a separate dining room table.  And as much as I love the color blue, it was almost too much of it in there.  Kudos though for the huge kitchen!  

[MartyQui]

I thought the kitchen was out of proportion to the living room, but it was beautiful.  I hate those wooden armed chairs with the fire of a thousand suns…they just look so uncomfortable.  Mom’s space was really nice, but.a pullout sofa?  Where would the chest coffee table go when she pulled it out?  It just didn’t look very comfortable for a 73 year old lady.  I loved her reaction.

[40Love]

On 1/30/2022 at 9:35 AM, MartyQui said:

I thought the kitchen was out of proportion to the living room, but it was beautiful.  I hate those wooden armed chairs with the fire of a thousand suns…they just look so uncomfortable.  Mom’s space was really nice, but.a pullout sofa?  Where would the chest coffee table go when she pulled it out?  It just didn’t look very comfortable for a 73 year old lady.  I loved her reaction.

I know the mom loved it. But seemed like a lot of work to go to bed each night. I was hoping Hillary would give her one of those Murphy beds that can easily pull down and up. 

Liked the blue in the main house, but the kitchen was way too big for such a small house. All those dishes on the open shelves will get dirty.. especially if they cook with oil. The TV was too far away for the size. It should have been over the fireplace. Bet they moved it there after Hillary left. Hehe!

[buttersister]

For the sake of that woman's neck, I hope they didn't put the TV up too high (over the fireplace). Worst decorating trend ever.

+1 me on her sleeping set up, though. She's going to move that table and unfold the couch every night? LOL! Hilary?!

[MsTree]

18 hours ago, 40Love said:

But seemed like a lot of work to go to bed each night. I was hoping Hillary would give her one of those Murphy beds that can easily pull down and up. 

Agree. Even a top-of-the-line futon would have been easier to work with every night.

[Grizzly]

The barn house looked so big, there had to be space somewhere for the piano. I would've chosen to repurpose and keep it rather then send it away. Don't know why new chairs would make the lady sit by the fireplace. And why are her kids watching TV during business hours? Can't believe Hillary promised to make that a dog safe space and thought it would only cost $5000. She knows better.

[Chit Chat]

3 hours ago, Grizzly said:

Can't believe Hillary promised to make that a dog safe space and thought it would only cost $5000. She knows better.

I was disappointed that the show didn't try to do something to help the lady with that since they got her hopes up that it would be done.  That was really important to her.   It was a neat home, although I do wonder why there was asphalt under the floor.   Note to Hilary:  It's not ASH-phalt.  It's ASS-phalt!!  ;)  

3 hours ago, Grizzly said:

The barn house looked so big, there had to be space somewhere for the piano.

I think it was more about Hilary not liking it and not wanting to deal with it more than anything else!  I would've loved to have seen what the guy was going to do in terms of repurposing the piano.  It's a shame she didn't let him do that.