S09.E11: Best Friends For Never

[Gharlane]

Quote

Sandoval plans a mysterious surprise for Ariana's 36th birthday, while Katie seeks advice from Lisa after a blowout fight at TomTom. Brock encourages Scheana to stick up for herself with Charli, Lala hires a personal assistant to help with her business, and a usually happy couple decides to take a "break" from their relationship.

Zzz, more of the same...

[Wicked]

Sandoval is an ass, I mean Schwartz has no back bone, but Sandoval is the worst

 

[Steph J]

Someone not being aware of your brand isn't a reflection on them, it's a reflection on the success of the brand (says someone who had no idea Lala had a brand).

Katie is an a-hole that I would never want to spend time with ever, but Sandoval (also an a-hole that I would never want to spend time with ever) can fuck off forever with his lament for the plight of cis/het/white men. That being said, I'm starting to think that, while there is natural animosity between Katie and Sandoval, what we're seeing is the result of them agreeing to play it up to 100 in order to create content and "drama" for the show in order to keep it going.

[princelina]

I guess I think Sandoval and Katie are both kind of right, which makes Schwartz the asshole.  Sandoval did build the "Tom and Tom as friends 'brand'" during quarantine when they were "hosting" "Bravo fans" for watching episodes of the show.  That actually IS their "brand" - which does not mean they know how to own or operate a bar, or that Bravo fans are enough of a base for them to have any other brand that does not rely on Bravo; that's where Sandoval's story falls apart.  On the other hand - Katie has every right to expect her husband to put her first, no matter how much of a bitch she is. Schwartz as usual wants to make everyone happy - and succeeds at making no one happy.  As far as future episodes where they "don't hang out" - I'm calling production-driven BS on that 😄

Ariana - I'm curious where she's going with herself after this episode.  One season she's the coolest girl ever to work at SUR; one season she's ashamed of her vagina to the point where she can't have sex; one season she's proudly bisexual and daring anyone to erase her ENTIRE IDENTITY - I'd like to think she merely got really drunk at her birthday party, but that seems like too easy of an explanation 😂

Lala - I believe I have actually heard of your "brand" - but I still forgot about it until now!  You suck 😄

Edited December 15, 2021 by princelina

[Marley]

Sandoval is the worst. Yelling about how much money he made Katie’s household. Schwartz is a slacker sure but their whole schtick is Tom and Tom. I doubt anyone is clamouring for just Sandoval. I mean I don’t get why anyone pays them for appearances at all but that’s another story lol.

Katie is a Debbie downer x a million but Sandoval is so ridiculous. Can’t they just be civil. I guess this is a reality show.

James and Raquel. Nobody cares. James is horrible bleh. I don’t believe he’s totally sober either. He’s way too jacked up.

I feel like Ariana didn’t really care about her surprise and wasn’t surprised. She kind of seemed fucked up on something else too.

Wow Tom is really feeling bad for how hard he has it as a white straight male. How pathetic and gross. I’ve never liked Sandoval less.

Does Schwartz ever believe his wife? Like damn. 

This show still sucks and the Sandoval Schwartz business only friendship seems fake as hell.

[hoodooznoodooz]

A destination engagement party. Lucky friends and family.

I hope they show lots of Raquel’s sister-cousin’s hatred of the white-hot intensity of a thousand nuns for James.

[Gharlane]

This week, on The Real Housewives of Weho... 

The two Toms and Katie argue about the fake new business. Again.

DJ Muppet Baby considers going to AA for real this time,

LaLa interviews a "personal assistant" who happens to have worked for American Idol and knew about her makeup side business. Wouldn't it be a hoot if Randal cheated on LaLa with her?

Katie visits successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks to vent and for advice, who flat out tells her their business is doomed and Flat-Iron Tom is full of it. They also let slip that George is substituting for her and is going to get tired of the Toms spending all their time chasing their own tails.

Flat-Iron Tom springs another one of his surprises. This time, on Arianna for her birthday. Which one is more high maintenance? F-I Tom tries to use that stupid woke buzzword but thinks it's "cycst", causing Arianna and me to roll our eyes. What the hell exactly is Madcap? It looked simultaneously fun and annoying. I was so sure the two Tom's were going to start making out in that fun-house bedroom.  They ended up at a bar with a more memorable name than Schwartz and Sandy’s, where she gets shitfaced b/c she thought they were getting supper so she hadn't eaten and had a wardrobe malfunction. 

Schwartz rides his bike around the block before arriving at F-I T's place to tell him to respect his wife, Katie. Rinse, lather, repeat.

[snarts]

I hate Sandoval so much. He's making this show entirely unwatchable for me. 

Schwartz should feel like an ass watching this and seeing how his buddy Tom refers to him while Katie defends him. Sandoval may have come up with some ideas, but it's Schwartz personality that pulls people in.  

Oh, and I also think that Brock is total douchewaffle.  

 

[farmgal4]

This show needs to be disposed of.  It has truly jumped the shark.

[Gharlane]

10 hours ago, Steph J said:

Someone not being aware of your brand isn't a reflection on them, it's a reflection on the success of the brand (says someone who had no idea Lala had a brand).

Yeah, I wondered why she disqualified (or it was implied) anyone who did their research on her brand, whatever it is, before the interview. 🤔

14 minutes ago, snarts said:

I hate Sandoval so much. He's making this show entirely unwatchable for me. 

Yeah, FI Tom is wearing on my nerves this season. 

 

[bosawks]

I'm starting to get the feeling that Ariana is plotting Sandoval's death and setting up Katie as the prime suspect......

Edited December 15, 2021 by bosawks

[gwen747]

Why can't these people just go to dinner for a birthday with a couple friends? Everything is always a major celebration. It's exhausting. 

I've said it before, this show is on its way out and I give Tom and Tom's friendship another two years. 

[bichonblitz]

10 hours ago, Marley said:

Sandoval is the worst. Yelling about how much money he made Katie’s household.

Yeah, Sandy doesn't usually bother me too much but that was a low blow. 

So Lala now has 2 nannies and an assistant? Life is hard, Lala. 

Charlie has no place on this show. None. She's not even pretty which is at least on thing all the others have in common (Except Randall, lol).

[Gharlane]

Here's the best part of this recap:

Quote

They sat there, in their side-by-side chairs and decided that they would be 90 percent business and 10 percent fun. “Is this 10 percent?” Schwartz asked as he poked him in the side with a little bit of a tickle.

“Stop!” Sandoval said, the mock annoyance hanging in the air.

“What about this?” Schwarz took a handful of Sandoval’s right pec, which Sandoval quickly slapped away and then turned in his chair as if disgusted.

“Aw. Come on,” Schwartz said. “What about this?” He got up and planted himself in Sandoval’s lap and let out an audible grunt.

“What about this?” Schwartz asked, biting on his ear. “Or this?” he asked, kissing his cheek. “Or…” before even finishing his sentence, Sandoval had leaned into his face, their lips touching, the heat between them rising as Schwartz felt the 10 percent stiffness below him rise to a solid 90 percent.

 

Edited December 15, 2021 by Gharlane

[Mr. Miner]

FI Tom is right, he is a huge cyst.

[heatherchandler]

5 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

This show needs to be disposed of.  It has truly jumped the shark.

I'm actually surprised that FI Tom hasn't actually jumped a shark.  

[Carolina Girl]

5 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

This show needs to be disposed of.  It has truly jumped the shark.

Look how long it took them to rid themselves of Zolciak the grifter and her has-been husband.  Wonder what she's doing for money now?

[farmgal4]

55 minutes ago, Carolina Girl said:

Look how long it took them to rid themselves of Zolciak the grifter and her has-been husband.  Wonder what she's doing for money now?

She’s hawking anything and everything that comes her way.  She started a wine club and a spiritual something-or-other, but both of those crashed after a week or two.  Her KAB makeup line and Salty K bathing suit line are still hanging in there, but barely.  She’s still the same narcissistic, insufferable, tramp that she’s always been.  And I hate myself for knowing that much info about her. 😞

[SarahPrtr]

7 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

 

So Lala now has 2 nannies and an assistant? Life is hard, Lala. 

 

She's trying to beat Camille Grammer who had FOUR NANNIES for her two children...  But insists that's she's there "all the time" for her children.  Well, Lala aspires to be like any of those wealthy women who are married to even wealthier men, but the problem is, she set the bar SO LOW with Randall, and at such a young age too.  She could have done something with her life which was so much more productive, but instead, she decided to sell herself to the lowest bidder.  Now she's barely 30, but has the life of a tired, old, bitter woman.

[hoodooznoodooz]

WWHL:

Andy asked Scheana, of her ex-boyfriends, Shay, Rob, Adam and current beau Brock

Who was the worst kisser?

Rob

Who was the least well-endowed?

Adam

Whom does she stay in touch with?

Just not Adam

Who is the most intelligent?

Adam (this did not hurt Brock’s feelings)

Who was the most enthusiastic about her enchiladas?

Adam

[Gharlane]

Who is Adam? 🤔

[hoodooznoodooz]

2 hours ago, Gharlane said:

Who is Adam? 🤔

He was tall, blonde, very handsome. I think he’s the guy Scheana “adopted” a penguin for? I think originally someone tried to play matchmaker: Brittany and Adam, because everyone thought she needed a distraction from Jax? I am hazy on this, however.

[WhatAmIWatching]

On 12/15/2021 at 1:26 AM, hoodooznoodooz said:

hatred of the white-hot intensity of a thousand nuns for James.

Best typo ever! 😂 

Sandoval is not good looking enough to be that vain. His ego is larger than even my butt! He is exhausting and no wonder Ariana always looks tired or depressed.

Schwartz has less spine than a noodle. His face looks so gray! I hope he gets his liver checked out.

Katie has good points, but loses ground when she loses her temper and uses the shrill tone only cats can hear.

 

[nytonc]

I’m completely over this show. 

Sandoval is an obnoxious poseur and a know-it-all but he doesn’t mind working and he does come up with a reasonable idea every six blue moons or so. “Schwartz and Sandy” is not one of them.   

Schwartz is a useless, dickless zero and Katie is a miserable shrew.  Does she ever smile? She sucks the life out of every single episode.

Arianna couldn’t possible look more bored. I’m shocked Sandoval is throwing her a party that doesn’t have a ridiculous theme  

I also loathe Scheana and her brainless steroid-freak boyfriend, Lala, Raquel and LVP. Sober James is boring.  What is the point of Charlie? Why is she even on the show with this perimenopausal crew?

The only positive I can come up with is that they dumped the coke freak and his hillbilly. 

Edited December 17, 2021 by nytonc

[b2H]

I may be in the minority but I am on Katie’s side in all of this.

She is married to a Schwartz, not Sandoval.  It is great if married folks can be friends with each other, but when one side believes he is financing and holding the marriage together, that is a bridge too far.

Sandoval should have gotten a serious message from the financier of the new bar when said financier said he would rather deal with Katie, who seems to know something about building a bar, than with these two nincompoops that seriously know nothing about it and won’t listen to anything they are told.

Katie is righteously annoyed at both of them, but should focus her annoyance on Schwartz, to whom she is married.  She can’t fix Sandoval - that one is a hopeless case.  

At the end of it all, her life is affected directly by these two and there are those who say she should just ignore the whole thing.  Until they lose their house.  Then, what?

[hoodooznoodooz]

5 hours ago, WhatAmIWatching said:

Best typo ever! 😂 

(Just in case you didn’t know:) I wish I could take credit, but someone else accidentally typed that a long time ago (I think in one version or another of this board), and everyone liked it, so we all started using it.

[hoodooznoodooz]

The WWCL podcast for this episode was one of their best! 

[WhatAmIWatching]

13 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

(Just in case you didn’t know:) I wish I could take credit, but someone else accidentally typed that a long time ago (I think in one version or another of this board), and everyone liked it, so we all started using it.

Ohhh, that's hilarious! I'm adding it to my lexicon because it's fantastic!

[AnnieBananie]

I can't imagine being married to someone like Schwartz who I'd have to beg to stand up for me.