S13.E03: Their First Rodeo

[humbleopinion]

After the final two couples get married, the brides and grooms enjoy their first dinners, first dances, and first introductions to family; and when they head to bed for the very first time, sparks fly for some, while others put up barriers.

[VioletNevermind]

Yikes.  If Ryan is genuinely into Brett at all, he has a funny way of showing it.  I’m getting major phony vibes from him.  She seems like a nice person, but the front of that dress looks like 10 pounds of sugar in an eight-pound bag. 

Edited August 5, 2021 by Suzy Rhapsody

[Crashcourse]

He's trying to keep from looking down at her breasts.  

So she teaches high school.  I hope none of the male students are watching this with those boobs hanging out.

[Retired at last]

2 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

So she teaches high school.  I hope none of the male students are watching this with those boobs hanging out.

I haven't seen it yet, but she HAS to be classier than Amber, the high school teacher, was when she kept whining about how she needed sex all the time. I was embarrassed for her high school.

[humbleopinion]

On 8/4/2021 at 5:09 PM, Suzy Rhapsody said:

She seems like a nice person, but the front of that dress looks like 10 pounds of sugar in an eight-pound bag. 

You mean a gallon of milk in 2 quart carton bags.

 

Edited August 10, 2021 by humbleopinion

[kristen111]

Ahh .. I like Ryan and Brett already.

[humbleopinion]

2 minutes ago, MyTwoCents said:

He has the best poker face.

Or he is a dead soulless husk of a man…..

[Crashcourse]

Rachel seems like a downer.  Jose claims he's bought and paid for two houses?  Really?  It's hard for me to even look him and that mouth. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I think Ryan just has that one expression or lack of. 
Jose’s mom is just relieved he’s getting married so she can put those rumors to rest 

[humbleopinion]

1 minute ago, Crashcourse said:

It's hard for me to even look him and that mouth. 

There is not enough booze at Costco to make me kiss any part of that fugly face….gag me….

[Madding crowd]

That officiant for Ryan and Brett looked and sounded like an old time undertaker. Those two seem like they like each other,even though Ryan doesn’t smile much. Jose has a decent smile but overall not attractive.

[VioletNevermind]

Damn, serious gut punch for Jose.  I literally groaned when she said that looks don’t matter.  I can’t imagine she meant that as critically as it sounded, but yikes.  

[mythoughtis]

Did Rachel just imply she didn’t like Jose’s looks… or was she just commenting that he’s got a great personality? Maybe she is just nervous and it came out wrong? 

Edited August 5, 2021 by mythoughtis

[Crashcourse]

Wow, I know she didn't mean it that way, but Rachel laid down a HUGE insult when told Jose she wasn't into looks, but personality.  You could see him deflate a little.

[Kiss my mutt]

Just wait til she gets a taste of his “structured” personality. 

[Crashcourse]

She could have redeemed herself if she had said "but you check both boxes, looks and personality" but she didn't.  I don't think he's attractive but that was a major fail on her part.

[Auntie Anxiety]

I’m delay watching so I can fast forward through the endless commercials. Why the hell is Ryan’s tie so slovenly? Aren’t there any mirrors around or were they put away for some reason due to Covid 🤷‍♀️

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

Wow, I know she didn't mean it that way, but Rachel laid down a HUGE insult when told Jose she wasn't into looks, but personality.  You could see him deflate a little.

Jose will take the baton from Jake for the “she was never attracted to me”……throwing out a little Olympic reference….

Edited August 5, 2021 by humbleopinion

[Auntie Anxiety]

The officiant at Brett and Ryan’s wedding looked like he should have been a member of Monty Python.

[VioletNevermind]

Poor Jose.  I feel sorry for him.  He’s so insecure.  I think if he allows himself to calm down for two seconds, she’ll be great for him.

Gil’s wife’s first phone call after her wedding should be to a lawyer to sue whomever sold her that dress.  She looks like she’s wearing pantyhose on her arms. 

Edited August 5, 2021 by Suzy Rhapsody

[Dakisela]

How TALL is Jose and might that be part of his problem??!!?

[humbleopinion]

Just now, Dakisela said:

How TALL is Jose and might that be part of his problem??!!?

His bio says 5 feet 6 inches but we know that means really 5 feet 3.5 inches…..

[Kiss my mutt]

I wonder how high Rachel’s heels are? Maybe they’re close in height but he does look pretty short next to her. 

[Crashcourse]

Knowing he was short, the "experts" should have matched him with a petite woman.

[Doublemint]

Brett can't dance and isn't a sport - she's "competitive" and not into country.    Also, he says she's not his type - so no they won't make it.

[Kiss my mutt]

Ouch! I would so be kissing that man. 

[VioletNevermind]

Poor Gil.  There any plenty of women who would be more than happy to kiss him.  (Call me when you unload her, Gil! 🙋‍♀️)

[Straycat80]

Rachel looks like she’s going to throw up every time Jose says something. 

[kristen111]

Wow, Zack & Michaelina or whoever are hitting it off.  I thought he was shy, but isn’t.

[Kiss my mutt]

José comes across very domineering and his way or the highway. I think Rachel is uncomfortable with his machismo. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Jose looks so tiny up at the altar, kind of like he could be the groom figure on their wedding cake

[kristen111]

What the hell, Gil didn’t get a kiss?  At his own reception?  No bueno.  She’s going to be a handful.  Up hill all the way.

[humbleopinion]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Jose looks so tiny up at the altar, kind of like he could be the groom figure on their wedding cake

He looks like the ring bearer….

[kristen111]

12 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Poor Gil.  There any plenty of women who would be more than happy to kiss him.  (Call me when you unload her, Gil! 🙋‍♀️)

I have first dibs.

Edited August 5, 2021 by kristen111

[Kiss my mutt]

I don’t think Bao is going to be enough of the adoring, eye-batting wife Johnny wants. He needs a boat load of affirmation that for someone like Bao, is going to be exhausting. 

[kristen111]

After last seasons disaster, so far I’m liking all of them.  I’m sure things will change tho.  I’m surprised they are all eating.  We didn’t eat a thing at our wedding.  Nerves I guess.

[Kiss my mutt]

These two episodes have been better than the entire last season already!

[Straycat80]

Ryan is into hunting and is Brett anti-hunting? Nice job experts. 

[CSunshine76]

20 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

José comes across very domineering and his way or the highway. I think Rachel is uncomfortable with his machismo. 

Agree. He asks where she lives and works, then when is her lease up. And the look on his face! Ugh. So he immediately expects her to move? I assume he asked if she rented or owned and they edited that out. Or did he assume? (Side note, she has a hell of a commute!)

[kristen111]

22 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

José comes across very domineering and his way or the highway. I think Rachel is uncomfortable with his machismo. 

He looks like he will be cheap.

[humbleopinion]

Weddings are done….snarking can now commence….

Edited August 5, 2021 by humbleopinion

[Auntie Anxiety]

I have a checklist like Jose has, but mine is for finding a dog on petfinder.com.

[Kiss my mutt]

If Myrla makes her own money, she can buy her own stuff. 
Basically, the only thing she gets out of her job is the ability to spend a lot of money. Not any personal professional development just bling. 

[Straycat80]

I already see disaster for Gil and Mryla. I think they should have matched Jose with Mryla, they both seem high maintenance and if he makes a lot of money she can buy all her designer bags and shoes. 

Edited August 5, 2021 by Straycat80

[mythoughtis]

Myrla needed to be matched with a much older sugar daddy. That is not what she says she wanted, but it’s what she really wanted.  Someone to pamper her, spend money on her, and then go to bed at the other end of the house. 

[CSunshine76]

9 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Ryan is into hunting and is Brett anti-hunting? Nice job experts. 

Yeah that’s a HUGE miss. If he has a ranch, I assume that’s a big part of his weekends. She doesn’t sound like she’d even be comfortable hanging out at the ranch, much less having a husband who is a hunter. Once again, these “experts” either don’t ask the right questions or just don’t care.

[Kiss my mutt]

7 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

He looks like he will be cheap.

I agree.  He’ll be looking over her shoulder watching what she spends and holding her accountable down to the Penny. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Just now, mythoughtis said:

Myrla needed to be matched with a much older sugar daddy. That is not what she says she wanted, but it’s what she really wanted.  Someone to pamper her, spend money on her, and then go to bed at the other end of the house. 

And has already had a vasectomy.

[zenme]

57 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Damn, serious gut punch for Jose.  I literally groaned when she said that looks don’t matter.  I can’t imagine she meant that as critically as it sounded, but yikes.  

Yeah. I don’t think Rachel is a very eloquent speaker. I think she probably has a bit of foot in mouth syndrome. She should’ve said that she didn’t care about looks, but that she’s happy she thinks he’s handsome.  That’s what I think she meant. 

[kristen111]

Marla couldn’t even give Gil a little kiss, but she could entice him with the boobs hanging out.  It doesn’t gel. Tease, then pull back?