MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation

[BunnySlippers]

46 minutes ago, henrysmom said:

It wasn't necessarily a lie.  She was beautiful.  I thought she was beautiful too, but I'm not attracted to her.  Could be the same with him.  Just because a woman is beautiful doesn't mean everyone in the world is going to be attracted to them.  

Nick didn't tell Sonia at the wedding that she was beautiful. He said nothing to her about finding her attractive. After Sonia had said something about it to his mother, his mother asked Nick if he had told Sonia that she was beautiful. He said he had. And that was the lie. I don't think he just forgot; I think he didn't find her attractive, didn't tell Sonia she was attractive, and when his mother asked him about it, he just lied.

[Soup333]

2 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

Nick didn't tell Sonia at the wedding that she was beautiful. He said nothing to her about finding her attractive. After Sonia had said something about it to his mother, his mother asked Nick if he had told Sonia that she was beautiful. He said he had. And that was the lie. I don't think he just forgot; I think he didn't find her attractive, didn't tell Sonia she was attractive, and when his mother asked him about it, he just lied.

Right. He lied and it gave me pause. That's probably how he is, since he's evidently been lying this entire time. Sonia should move out and move on. Nothing can be fixed here. 

[BunnySlippers]

2 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Right. He lied and it gave me pause. That's probably how he is, since he's evidently been lying this entire time. Sonia should move out and move on. Nothing can be fixed here. 

Exactly.

[SaucyMommy]

I agree with whoever said it - that Sonia isn't necessarily clingy and insecure but rather his behavior makes her feel that way. He's not giving her anything and she knows that. He assumes she is in to him. But she rated the marriage a 5 where he said an 8. Clearly she is not happy with things. She doesn't like the dogs, doesn't like the way he communicates and isn't really happy with the fact that she walks on egg shells around him. It seems like she was raised to be polite and is polite. She's trying - the way the participants should try. Like how David appeared to be desperate around Ashley. He was just TRYING. Nick is shut down and his total coldness is making her feel not only insecure but probably doubtful about his intentions which is why she keeps probing him.

[humbleopinion]

The Peke reclining on her back in the hallway while all the door closing went on pretty much summed up the situation.

Everyone needs to relax.

[Stinamaia]

12 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

The problem I find with that is when he goes on his rant he says he doesn't think she's attractive & also that he's not attracted to her - so he said both. Why would he say that?  I think it's perfectly fine to say he's not attracted to her, but to say she's not attractive was cruel & unnecessary. The "I don't like her" was juvenile. Holding back, pretending (for what, the show? to be polite?) - now he's not so polite anymore. It's all the stuff of being a man-child.

This is how I see it: The producers had been asking him questions repeatedly during the filming and doing it over and over.  Are you attracted to her? Do you think she is attractive? Do you like her? These questions and variations on these questions came up again and again.  When Nick snapped, he was angry at Sonia and the producers and spit out all the answers they had been probing and prodding for over and over.  That's why we got such a recitation.

I'm not diminishing Sonia's feelings in anyway, but as s viewer, I had to laugh when I saw motor mouth Nick emerge.  We had weeks of him nearly unable to string together words that formed a complete sentence, and boom! Suddenly he could speak in a whole paragraph.  

I do agree with others that bottling up his feelings caused the eruption. I saw both Sonia and Nick being afraid to ask and answer question because of fears.  It seemed to me that Sonia could never summon up the gumption to ask if he was attracted to her or wanted to have sex with her. Nick, for whatever reasons, was equally afraid to state his true feelings.  

I don't understand Nick.  Maybe it was a mistake to match such a white bread guy with a quirky Latina woman.  I think she's lovely.  Her hesitant way of talking is problematic, but I think that's because Nick makes her feel so unsure about herself.   Maybe not.   I don't see a way for them to rebuild a romance. That's too bad because I think she could use his more methodical approach and he could use her bubbly, live for the moment  approach.  They would even each other out.

[Neurochick]

33 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

Nick didn't tell Sonia at the wedding that she was beautiful. He said nothing to her about finding her attractive. After Sonia had said something about it to his mother, his mother asked Nick if he had told Sonia that she was beautiful. He said he had. And that was the lie. I don't think he just forgot; I think he didn't find her attractive, didn't tell Sonia she was attractive, and when his mother asked him about it, he just lied.

Yes, but he probably wanted to get his mother off his back.  I don't get all this analysis of Nick.  Some people just aren't attracted to others, and there's no rhyme or reason to it.  Nick is this season's Ashley, only we knew from the wedding day that Ashley wasn't into David. 

I wonder if Nick had been honest with Sonia from the beginning, what people would have thought about him.  It's like people get upset when others aren't honest but what we really mean is "I want you to be honest the way I want you to be honest."  So when you tell people the truth and they don't like what you're telling them, they get pissed off; so instead of being honest, Nick kept everything close to the vest and when he couldn't take any more, he blew up.

Edited September 16, 2016 by Neurochick

[okerry]

I'm wondering if the spinoff show, where the rejects from MAFS get to try again but it's only dating this time, is actually a test to see if audiences might like that better. And I think the answer is, "Yes, we would."

MAFS is never going to be a success, and that's not even due to the "experts" - lousy as they are. No, the bottom line is that there are practically zero men willing to Marry At First Sight, so we get only the ones who sign up for all the wrong reasons - money, teevee famewhore, think they're getting a paid six-week hookup, pushing products, convincing their families they're not gay, etc. etc.

Yeah, let them get people who at least *say* they're open to getting married, pair them up "scientifically," and see where that goes. If the men know they aren't required to marry, a few more decent sorts might show up.

The couples could agree to date exclusively for six weeks and then at the end of that time, they can either 1) break up and move on, 2) keep on dating either on or off camera, or 3) get married. If they want to marry, the show will pay for the splashy wedding and honeymoon and the viewers get to see that as the payoff.

I'd rather wait for a proposal than wait to see someone ask for a divorce. 

[Snarklepuss]

18 minutes ago, SaucyMommy said:

I agree with whoever said it - that Sonia isn't necessarily clingy and insecure but rather his behavior makes her feel that way. He's not giving her anything and she knows that. He assumes she is in to him. But she rated the marriage a 5 where he said an 8. Clearly she is not happy with things. She doesn't like the dogs, doesn't like the way he communicates and isn't really happy with the fact that she walks on egg shells around him. It seems like she was raised to be polite and is polite. She's trying - the way the participants should try. Like how David appeared to be desperate around Ashley. He was just TRYING. Nick is shut down and his total coldness is making her feel not only insecure but probably doubtful about his intentions which is why she keeps probing him.

ITA, I don't get the feeling that Sonia is especially into Nick either.  She is trying to live out her obligation to the show at this point but I can tell she knows he's not into her and it has pretty much prevented her from getting more interested in him.  I mean, really, who would find his behavior at all attractive?  If he is trying to turn her off I think he's succeeded.  Her facial expressions in some of the scenes show disbelief, like she's amazed at how immature/dysfunctional Nick is and is only putting up with it out of obligation.

I hate it when someone is labeled "desperate" just because they are trying to get a drop of emotion out of a stone.  By comparison to someone who is not trying and shutting down, anyone would look desperate.  I know, I was once in a relationship like that!  The guy called me "clingy and needy".  I told him anyone would look clingy and needy with a boyfriend like him!  Meanwhile, I am one of the most independent women around!

Another thing I hate is when people are labeled as being picky and having "too high standards".  Davina was called a "princess" and "high maintenance", but meanwhile she was paired with a total asshole!  Same for Heather - She is called a sour bitch but look at what she is dealing with!  A whiny little man-child with a substance abuse issue!  And I hate it even more that it's more often the women that are put down and blamed for everything in cases where it's clearly the men who bear the most responsibility.

[Neurochick]

MAFS will never be a success because you're pairing complete strangers and marrying them off.  That's a trainwreck waiting to happen.  As others have said here, in arranged marriages the families know each other, or know of each other; the matchmaker knows the families.  Also people are usually of the same racial and religious group, so even if they don't "know" each other, they do have some knowledge of where the other one is coming from. 

[Stinamaia]

2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Yes, but he probably wanted to get his mother off his back.  I don't get all this analysis of Nick.  Some people just aren't attracted to others, and there's no rhyme or reason to it.  Nick is this season's Ashley, only we knew from the wedding day that Ashley wasn't into David. 

I wonder if Nick had been honest with Sonia from the beginning, what people would have thought about him. 

I don't think it would have been worse than what people think now.  I do think Nick deserves credit for not having sex with Sonia when she was clearly open to it.  Lots of men have sex with women they don't care about at all.  Derek would have been all over Heather if she had given him the opportunity, but I don't think he thought she was particularly attractive.  

Its quite possible that for a time Nick thought maybe his attraction to Sonia would grow and he was giving it a chance.  

I think Nick's attachment to his dogs is odd.  He's not the kind of owner I admire.  He seems to foster excitement in his dogs.   I compare him to Lily with her tiny dog.  So many times owners of tiny dogs treat them like babies, but Lily has a calm little dog who seems to behave.  Nick treats his dogs more like babies than Lily does.  I do think some of Nick's getting on his dogs' level and letting them be all over him was a non verbal way of telling Sonia that she didn't need to fear his dogs.  He has a totally different relationship with his dogs than I do.  Maybe he couldn't have dogs as a child or something.

[Neurochick]

6 minutes ago, Stinamaia said:

I think Nick's attachment to his dogs is odd.  He's not the kind of owner I admire.  He seems to foster excitement in his dogs.   I compare him to Lily with her tiny dog.  So many times owners of tiny dogs treat them like babies, but Lily has a calm little dog who seems to behave.  Nick treats his dogs more like babies than Lily does.  I do think some of Nick's getting on his dogs' level and letting them be all over him was a non verbal way of telling Sonia that she didn't need to fear his dogs.  He has a totally different relationship with his dogs than I do.  Maybe he couldn't have dogs as a child or something.

I don't think it's odd, it's just the way he has a relationship with his dogs.  I once saw a show where a group of very rich and probably very bored, people rented out a very expensive restaurant for their cat's birthday party.  There were other cats there, all dressed to the nines, I'm not kidding.  Not my thing but hey, if it makes them happy, it's all good.

Edited September 16, 2016 by Neurochick

[BunnySlippers]

35 minutes ago, Stinamaia said:

This is how I see it: The producers had been asking him questions repeatedly during the filming and doing it over and over.  Are you attracted to her? Do you think she is attractive? Do you like her? These questions and variations on these questions came up again and again.  When Nick snapped, he was angry at Sonia and the producers and spit out all the answers they had been probing and prodding for over and over.  That's why we got such a recitation.

I'm not diminishing Sonia's feelings in anyway, but as s viewer, I had to laugh when I saw motor mouth Nick emerge.  We had weeks of him nearly unable to string together words that formed a complete sentence, and boom! Suddenly he could speak in a whole paragraph.  

I do agree with others that bottling up his feelings caused the eruption. I saw both Sonia and Nick being afraid to ask and answer question because of fears.  It seemed to me that Sonia could never summon up the gumption to ask if he was attracted to her or wanted to have sex with her. Nick, for whatever reasons, was equally afraid to state his true feelings.  

I don't understand Nick.  Maybe it was a mistake to match such a white bread guy with a quirky Latina woman.  I think she's lovely.  Her hesitant way of talking is problematic, but I think that's because Nick makes her feel so unsure about herself.   Maybe not.   I don't see a way for them to rebuild a romance. That's too bad because I think she could use his more methodical approach and he could use her bubbly, live for the moment  approach.  They would even each other out.

I agree; I think the producers had been grilling him about it, and I bet they had been pushing Sonia, too, to get him to open up. And I think, too, that he made Sonia unsure about herself. I'll pay more attention to how she talks in her chats with Jamie, but I think she's much less hesitant in those conversations. This was just a really, really bad match.

 

35 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Yes, but he probably wanted to get his mother off his back.  I don't get all this analysis of Nick.  Some people just aren't attracted to others, and there's no rhyme or reason to it.  Nick is this season's Ashley, only we knew from the wedding day that Ashley wasn't into David. 

I wonder if Nick had been honest with Sonia from the beginning, what people would have thought about him.  It's like people get upset when others aren't honest but what we really mean is "I want you to be honest the way I want you to be honest."  So when you tell people the truth and they don't like what you're telling them, they get pissed off; so instead of being honest, Nick kept everything close to the vest and when he couldn't take any more, he blew up.

It was still lying, whether it was to get his mother off his back or not. And he's been lying to the camera and Dr. Pepper, too, when he kept saying he was attracted to her and that, eventually, he wanted to have sex with her, and that he thought their marriage was an 8 or 9. Those were deliberate lies if he really doesn't like her and doesn't find her attractive. The problem isn't that he's not attracted to her. The problem is him pretending to have these feelings.

Ashley and Heather at least didn't pretend.

Edited September 16, 2016 by BunnySlippers

[HZAnita]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I don't think he was lying.  It's not like he had sex with her and then told her he wasn't attracted.  His body language gave off vibes that he wasn't into her.  I read another post where someone wondered if he was into Latinas; that could be true.  What if Nick is into redheads or tall blondes?

When men fill out dating profiles, I've noticed they don't have issues with saying they don't like black women; (don't know why) but might be mum on women of other nationalities. 

Well, he outright said that he was attracted to her in several talking heads, IIRC.  That's where the dishonesty comes in for me.

[Neurochick]

I get why Nick lied.  I've noticed that if a man makes a comment about a woman's looks, people (especially us women) get upset (including me), but if a woman isn't attracted to a man, people don't get as upset.  I think it's because we still live in a society where women are judged for their looks, where men for the most part, aren't.  Very often you'll see a short, fat wealthy man with a beautiful woman on his arm, but rarely do you see the opposite. 

People get pissed when someone lies, but people also get pissed when they get told the truth and it's not what THEY want to hear.  It's a lose/lose situation.

Edited September 16, 2016 by Neurochick

[Snarklepuss]

17 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I get why Nick lied.  I've noticed that if a man makes a comment about a woman's looks, people (especially us women) get upset (including me), but if a woman isn't attracted to a man, people don't get as upset.  I think it's because we still live in a society where women are judged for their looks, where men for the most part, aren't.  Very often you'll see a short, fat wealthy man with a beautiful woman on his arm, but rarely do you see the opposite. 

People get pissed when someone lies, but people also get pissed when they get told the truth and it's not what THEY want to hear.  It's a lose/lose situation.

I think Nick lied - He even said he wanted to have sex with Sonia "when the time was right" or however he worded it a couple of episodes ago.  That goes way beyond saying he found her attractive just to be polite for the sake of appearances, which is bad enough, IMHO.  Plus, he was saying this in his private talking heads.  He could have found a way to say he thought Sonia was attractive but wasn't feeling close enough to her just yet (or whatever) to want to have a physical relationship.  That way he wouldn't put down her appearance and take responsibility for not being ready.  The problem with Nick is that his verbal communication skills are so bad he would never be able to put it that way.  When he does finally communicate, who even knows if it's what he actually feels or means?  A guy like that is an enigma to everyone including himself and he would frustrate a verbal woman like Sonia to no end.

[Lola16]

1 hour ago, SaucyMommy said:

I agree with whoever said it - that Sonia isn't necessarily clingy and insecure but rather his behavior makes her feel that way. He's not giving her anything and she knows that. He assumes she is in to him. But she rated the marriage a 5 where he said an 8. Clearly she is not happy with things. She doesn't like the dogs, doesn't like the way he communicates and isn't really happy with the fact that she walks on egg shells around him. It seems like she was raised to be polite and is polite. She's trying - the way the participants should try. Like how David appeared to be desperate around Ashley. He was just TRYING. Nick is shut down and his total coldness is making her feel not only insecure but probably doubtful about his intentions which is why she keeps probing him.

David was desperate. He would have been pawing over anyone who was reasonable looking. Sam tried flirting with him (and hard) after the show ended and he wanted nothing to do with her.

Supposedly, Vanessa got a bad rap because she appeared insecure and clingy. Tres who seemed like a decent guy on camera, supposedly was a different man off camera and that led to Vanessa appearing whiny and clingy.  I don't know.  I liked Vanessa but I also think that's part of her nature --- the whole abandonment thing.  Sonia might be facing some of that very same thing with Nick.  Maybe she isn't so clingy and insecure as she appears --- maybe it's part of Nick saying things that sound nice but then acting very different.

58 minutes ago, Stinamaia said:

 

I think Nick's attachment to his dogs is odd.  He's not the kind of owner I admire.  He seems to foster excitement in his dogs.   I compare him to Lily with her tiny dog.  So many times owners of tiny dogs treat them like babies, but Lily has a calm little dog who seems to behave.  Nick treats his dogs more like babies than Lily does.  I do think some of Nick's getting on his dogs' level and letting them be all over him was a non verbal way of telling Sonia that she didn't need to fear his dogs.  He has a totally different relationship with his dogs than I do.  Maybe he couldn't have dogs as a child or something.

It's like Kelso on That 70's Show - he rolled around with the dogs all the time, even when he became an 'adult' (as much of an adult that character was) and a cop.

34 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I get why Nick lied.  I've noticed that if a man makes a comment about a woman's looks, people (especially us women) get upset (including me), but if a woman isn't attracted to a man, people don't get as upset.  I think it's because we still live in a society where women are judged for their looks, where men for the most part, aren't.  Very often you'll see a short, fat wealthy man with a beautiful woman on his arm, but rarely do you see the opposite. 

People get pissed when someone lies, but people also get pissed when they get told the truth and it's not what THEY want to hear.  It's a lose/lose situation.

Lying and saying someone else is attractive could be considered a white lie, a 'harmless' lie, one that is told to save feelings.  Lying and saying that you are attracted to someone, or that you find that person attractive, you could see yourself with that person, that you want to have sex with that person, that your marriage is an 8 or 9 out of 10 ---- when you don't feel ANY of that or envision ANY of that --- that is straight up deceptive and is a lie told for that liar's own benefit --- not the other person's.  Nick lied because: 1) it was convenient, 2) it would make him look good, 3) he still had more t-shirts to sell, 4) it's second nature to him. Pick one, some, or all.

Nick easily could have said, Sonia is beautiful and a sweetheart.  When asked about their future, he could have hedged: Sonia isn't the type of (girl, person) I usually date but we all went into this "experiment" knowing we'd be matched to complete "strangers" (obligatory show buzz words) and I'm committed to the process.  If pressed about physical intimacy, Nick could have said: "I don't think it would be fair to either of us to pursue that portion of the relationship until after the experiment is over. We'll know each other better then and know how we want to proceed as a couple."

I don't agree that men can't say they aren't attracted to women -- at least on this forum. Neil said it last season and the members on this forum mostly were OK with it.  Ashley was reviled for being repulsed by David.

I do agree women on a whole are more judged (and to some extent, valued) on their looks much more so than men in our society, and particularly on reality TV.

 

eta: formatting is our friend

Edited September 16, 2016 by Lola16

[psychoticstate]

I wonder if NIck was one of the men that were supposedly approached on social media.  If so, he may have done it as means to promote his business and assumed he would be "matched" with someone who was not taking this seriously.  Being matched with someone who did, like Sonia, would certainly shut him down and make him angry.  It could explain why he gets so touchy about the "opening up" and the counseling sessions.  I'm not defending him but the idea does make a certain amount of sense when you compare him with Neil from last season.  In Neil's case, I think he was initially attracted to Sam but she ruined that.  Despite that, he was generally respectful of her and stuck by his commitment of six weeks and it was really difficult to know for sure what his decision would be by the end.  He didn't seem uncomfortable with her at all. 

If Heather was concerned about Derek's alleged pot smoking due to her job maybe she should have just told the experts that she could not be with anyone who used drugs, whether rarely, occasionally or often.  Not saying it's totally her fault but there seems to be so much gray area when it comes to what the participants are possibly asked.  

I think the show either needs to give us more background on what went wrong with these two, or bring it out in the open during the follow up/reunion.  Since Heather and Derek split 2 weeks in, I'm somewhat surprised the show didn't pull one of their reserve couples out and scrap H&D altogether.  

One of the links posted a few pages back, with Derek's interview, mentioned that before the season started he sent Heather a friend request on Facebook, which she ignored, and some private messages asking her if she was excited for their season to start.  Again, ignored and no response.  That's pretty sad.  Even Ashley tagged David on Twitter during last season, liked some of his posts, etc.   If this is true, it seems like Heather is bound and determined not to play the MAFS game at all.  Ashley was frustrating but at least she did some half-assed things.  What's the point of participating in this if you're just going to give up and walk away almost immediately?  (Again, if we knew the whole story it would be helpful.) 

I posted in the thread on how to improve MAFS after last season and one thing I mentioned was not just leaving the couples to go off on a honeymoon with a stranger and flap in the wind.  I wonder if rather than sending Heather and Derek to PR alone, if they had sent them there with a counselor, if it would have made a difference?  

I spend too much time thinking about this stupid show.

[HZAnita]

1 minute ago, Neurochick said:

I get why Nick lied.  I've noticed that if a man makes a comment about a woman's looks, people (especially us women) get upset (including me), but if a woman isn't attracted to a man, people don't get as upset.  I think it's because we still live in a society where women are judged for their looks, where men for the most part, aren't.  Very often you'll see a short, fat wealthy man with a beautiful woman on his arm, but rarely do you see the opposite. 

People get pissed when someone lies, but people also get pissed when they get told the truth and it's not what THEY want to hear.  It's a lose/lose situation.

I guess we will have to just agree to disagree. lol  IMO, there was no reason for him to lie to the audience (I don't know if he ever lied to Sonia).  There are ways to be civil about not finding someone attractive and still be willing to try to make it work.  To bottle his true opinions up and then vomit the bile the way he did just rubbed me the wrong way.  

After watching the preview again, I'm thinking that part of this may be that the producers are editing what and how he exploded to create the most drama.  Two scenes are seemingly clipped together at one point.  I guess we'll see.  

[henrysmom]

Quote

I spend too much time thinking about this stupid show.

Don't we all?  :) 

Quote

I wonder if NIck was one of the men that were supposedly approached on social media.  

Is it possible they found Nick when looking for possible AirBnB places for the couples to "find"?  Somebody last season found Ashley and David's love nest on AirBnB, so maybe when the producers were scouting locations they ran across one of Nick's and when they found out he was single, recruited him that way?

[psychoticstate]

As far as whether or not Nick finds Sonia attractive or if she is attractive to him . . . I wasn't physically attracted to an ex at all when we first met.  I was, however, attracted to his personality and over time, became physically attracted to him.  Not everyone is willing to wait it out, to see if the physical attraction happens.  Had I been in my early twenties when I met him, I probably wouldn't have given him a chance because I was shallow and stupid in my early twenties.

Maybe Nick is one of those people.  Heather too.  If they aren't physically attracted from the start, they are out.  If that's the case, the experts should be weeding those types of people out because it basically destroys a large premise of the show - - to spend 6 weeks getting to know your new spouse.  

[Stinamaia]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

I don't think it's odd, it's just the way he has a relationship with his dogs.  I once saw a show where a group of very rich and probably very bored, people rented out a very expensive restaurant for their cat's birthday party.  There were other cats there, all dressed to the nines, I'm not kidding.  Not my thing but hey, if it makes them happy, it's all good.

If it makes him happy and the other people in his life happy, so be it.  I still think it's odd and I think the people with the cat party have an odd relationship too.  But, I'm a person who doesn't give animals Christmas presents or birthday presents.  My belief is that it's healthier for animals to be treated kindly and thoughtfully but also like the animals they are and not like the human animals they are not.  That being said, I would never partner with someone who didn't like animals. It could't happen.  However, I don't think Sonia not liking animals really factors into Nick's lack of attraction.  

[1992austenlover]

17 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

I think Nick lied - He even said he wanted to have sex with Sonia "when the time was right" or however he worded it a couple of episodes ago.  That goes way beyond saying he found her attractive just to be polite for the sake of appearances, which is bad enough, IMHO.  Plus, he was saying this in his private talking heads.  He could have found a way to say he thought Sonia was attractive but wasn't feeling close enough to her just yet (or whatever) to want to have a physical relationship.  That way he wouldn't put down her appearance and take responsibility for not being ready.  The problem with Nick is that his verbal communication skills are so bad he would never be able to put it that way.  When he does finally communicate, who even knows if it's what he actually feels or means?  A guy like that is an enigma to everyone including himself and he would frustrate a verbal woman like Sonia to no end.

I like how Neil handled the situation last season. Though he claimed that he was attracted to Sam on the wedding day (which I believe that he probably was as Sam wasn't being particularly rude to him that day and she was all dolled up in that beautiful dress), from then onwards Neil never made any bold claims to insinuate that his feelings for Sam were anything more than platonic but at the same time, for the sake of the marriage/experiment,  he always spoke about how he was hopeful and optimistic that one day those feelings could develop into something more. Nick's narrative is similar to Neil's narrative in the sense that, like Neil, Nick has been trying to build a friendship with Sonia in the hopes that their chemistry will grow; however, I think that Nick is really struggling to find a healthy balance between being honest while still being kind/ optimistic--and I think that his poor verbal communication skills that you mentioned prevents him from being able to find that equilibrium. That's why when Nick is being honest, he comes as a little cold (ie. the "Am I in love with you? No." debacle); he spends so much time hiding his true feelings in the hopes of being civil/kind that when he does have a moment of true honesty, its like a weight has been released from his shoulders and he feels entitled to unload given all of the effort that it has taken for him to keep his true feelings bottled up inside. Clearly, it's all or nothing with him and as a result, he doesn't come off as genuine at all. I just don't think that he's really equipped to handle this experiment (which is fine--it's definitely not for everyone).   

[Zuleikha]

 She's trying - the way the participants should try.

But why should the participants try? The experts have no real reason for the matches. If the participants don't like their match, what's the basis for pushing through it? IMHO, the dogs issue is reason enough for both Nick and Sonia to say to the show, "screw you." Why on earth should Sonia suffer and push through her discomfort with dogs to try and make something happen with a man who there's no real reason to believe is worth it? Why should Nick be happy about disrupting his dogs' routine and freedom for a woman he has no real reason to believe is worth it?

The show's premise requires the participants to have faith in the experts. I think a lot of the participants do start the show with that faith. But then they quickly realize that the experts have betrayed it. Why do we expect the participants to hold up their end--which requires considerable physical and emotional vulnerability--when we all know the experts aren't holding up theirs?

Ashley and Heather at least didn't pretend.

And they were raked over the coals for it! I don't blame Nick for lying in talking heads because he was probably hoping that he could make it through the 6 weeks saying polite things about Sonia and then go their separate ways. Which again goes back to my objection about the importance of the participants' trying. Sonia KNOWS Nick isn't attracted to her and they're not particularly working as a couple. So wouldn't it be better for both of them if she stopped pushing Nick?

[Evil Queen]

12 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Lots of reality shows have talked about drugs even in places where the substances are illegal. Hell Intervention and other shows have shown illegal drug use, so I am not buying that as the reason.

Yes but this is not that kind of show. It could look bad all around. Plus they may not want to ruin someone's chance for future jobs or the one they have at the time. Plus it could hurt them getting women to sign up for this show. I wouldn't be surprised if it hurt them a bit by having Ryan with his anger issues on it. 

3 hours ago, HZAnita said:

I don't mind that he opened up and was honest.  What I do mind was that he was (apparently) lying to the camera/audience for the last nine episodes. Gay or straight, he seems to be a liar.

I think its how its done. If its done as he is with yelling it out then its coming off bad. If he had been more upfront and said it in a tasteful manner that would be different. Yet we get him lying instead left and right about how he wants to have sex with her or things to happen, marriage is an 8, she is attractive and so on. Yet really he wasn't feeling it and it never came through in how he said it that he did IMO. 

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I think the dog thing tipped the scales right from the get go - right at the wedding when she said she was afraid. Knowing how in love he is with them if he already wasn't feeling any attraction that may have done it.

But also he may be intimacy anorexic (can look it up), if it's a chronic problem for him or he only has superficial relationships, he shouldn't get involved with anyone again until he sorts that out. I agree with the poster who said (sorry I can't recall who) he should've been self aware enough to know this was not the show for him (unless all he cared about was publicity).

That is what I am thinking at this point. As I said if that is his rental he can now add to it how it was "seen on MAFS" and same with his ugly shirts/hats. 

2 hours ago, Waterlilly said:

I noticed the difference between nick's dogs and Tom and Lilly's dogs. I don't think Sonia would be afraid of their dogs because they are so chill.

Oh yeah, big difference there. Most little dogs I see here are pretty hyper but the ones that are more calm are because of the owners. Yet Lily also had a crate in her apartment for her dog too and said how it was his bed or something like that when they were looking at her place. Nick's are to all over the place. For me I would be a little unease around dogs like that. Not afraid but just not ok with how all over they can be. 

2 hours ago, SaucyMommy said:

I agree with whoever said it - that Sonia isn't necessarily clingy and insecure but rather his behavior makes her feel that way. He's not giving her anything and she knows that. He assumes she is in to him. But she rated the marriage a 5 where he said an 8. Clearly she is not happy with things. She doesn't like the dogs, doesn't like the way he communicates and isn't really happy with the fact that she walks on egg shells around him. It seems like she was raised to be polite and is polite. She's trying - the way the participants should try. Like how David appeared to be desperate around Ashley. He was just TRYING. Nick is shut down and his total coldness is making her feel not only insecure but probably doubtful about his intentions which is why she keeps probing him.

Agree with this. Its just the way it comes off when you are the one trying and trying to get to know this person but this person is not having it. Yet why lie to the "expert" that marriage is an 8....even Sonia wasn't going to go that high and she probably said 5 because she didn't want to make it sound as bad as she may believe it is. LOL 

1 hour ago, Stinamaia said:

 

I do agree with others that bottling up his feelings caused the eruption. I saw both Sonia and Nick being afraid to ask and answer question because of fears.  It seemed to me that Sonia could never summon up the gumption to ask if he was attracted to her or wanted to have sex with her. Nick, for whatever reasons, was equally afraid to state his true feelings.  

I think she wasn't sure how to ask him at times. Especially if he says something like the 5/30 day thing or he doesn't love her and it had nothing to do with what was being discussed. Who knows what else was that way and we just didn't see it. Nick I don't think gives a crap about asking Sonia questions since he doesn't care at all about her but she at least was trying to at times. I do wish we could have seen if she was asking more as well with the simple things we saw...such as when she asked him to open up and tell her more about himself. 

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

I get why Nick lied.  I've noticed that if a man makes a comment about a woman's looks, people (especially us women) get upset (including me), but if a woman isn't attracted to a man, people don't get as upset.  I think it's because we still live in a society where women are judged for their looks, where men for the most part, aren't.  Very often you'll see a short, fat wealthy man with a beautiful woman on his arm, but rarely do you see the opposite. 

People get pissed when someone lies, but people also get pissed when they get told the truth and it's not what THEY want to hear.  It's a lose/lose situation.

Agree but I think if he did it in a tactful manner most wouldn't have been pissed over it but glad he had said something upfront instead of lying left and right. Which the tone in what he was saying didn't match so it was hard to even believe any of it. Heck even him saying she is awesome to her doesn't even sound believable when he has said it. LOL 

34 minutes ago, Lola16 said:

David was desperate. He would have been pawing over anyone who was reasonable looking. Sam tried flirting with him (and hard) after the show ended and he wanted nothing to do with her.

Lying and saying someone else is attractive could be considered a white lie, a 'harmless' lie, one that is told to save feelings.  Lying and saying that you are attracted to someone, or that you find that person attractive, you could see yourself with that person, that you want to have sex with that person, that your marriage is an 8 or 9 out of 10 ---- when you don't feel ANY of that or envision ANY of that --- that is straight up deceptive and is a lie told for that liar's own benefit --- not the other person's.  Nick lied because: 1) it was convenient, 2) it would make him look good, 3) he still had more t-shirts to sell, 4) it's second nature to him. Pick one, some, or all.

Nick easily could have said, Sonia is beautiful and a sweetheart.  When asked about their future, he could have hedged: Sonia isn't the type of (girl, person) I usually date but we all went into this "experiment" knowing we'd be matched to complete "strangers" (obligatory show buzz words) and I'm committed to the process.  If pressed about physical intimacy, Nick could have said: "I don't think it would be fair to either of us to pursue that portion of the relationship until after the experiment is over. We'll know each other better then and know how we want to proceed as a couple."

I don't agree that men can't say they aren't attracted to women -- at least on this forum. Neil said it last season and the members on this forum mostly were OK with it.  Ashley was reviled for being repulsed by David.

 

If David was desperate as you say and Sam hit on him then why wouldn't he have just jumped on the crazy train? LOL I don't think he was desperate. I think, as in Sonia's case as well, that its the way it looks because you have the one person doing more than the other in this situation. David was constantly being told to push Ashley and get her to open up to him. We have Rachel telling Sonia how she can see a fire between her and Nick. So pushing Sonia to get things to move along with Nick. Instead Ashley, and Nick as well, should have been honest from the get go. As you stated there was a way it could have been down so it was tasteful and didn't come off so asshole like but for some reason he decided not to but instead lie all this time in THs and to the experts. I think because of how Neil said it was why it was ok with many of us. He didn't just scream it or do it like Ashley. Plus I think with seeing how Sam was from the get go and how she was treating him most people could understand why he wouldn't be into Sam. 

27 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

 If Heather was concerned about Derek's alleged pot smoking due to her job maybe she should have just told the experts that she could not be with anyone who used drugs, whether rarely, occasionally or often.  Not saying it's totally her fault but there seems to be so much gray area when it comes to what the participants are possibly asked.  

One of the links posted a few pages back, with Derek's interview, mentioned that before the season started he sent Heather a friend request on Facebook, which she ignored, and some private messages asking her if she was excited for their season to start.  Again, ignored and no response.  That's pretty sad.  Even Ashley tagged David on Twitter during last season, liked some of his posts, etc.   If this is true, it seems like Heather is bound and determined not to play the MAFS game at all.  Ashley was frustrating but at least she did some half-assed things.  What's the point of participating in this if you're just going to give up and walk away almost immediately?  (Again, if we knew the whole story it would be helpful.) 

 

The problem with Derek saying things like this is that he lies. He did it about texting her before meeting with the Pastor that last time. He said he texted her and she didn't respond but she had. She even told the Pastor she had and what she said. It was short but guess to him that didn't matter. I take it she is not big on SM. Even if Ashley had tagged David last season on Twitter, she wasn't big on SM either. While others love it and play it up on there. Like Sam who wanted whatever attention she could get, even negative. While I didn't like Ashley, I can get why she probably didn't do much SM...just like I can get why Heather wouldn't. Plus in Heather's case she has a job that probably keeps her busy. Yet I do wonder if they had active SM accts before this show or not to compare if its just a matter of not into SM or just not into the linked MAFS SM accts. Anyway, back to Derek though, at this point I would take his word on this with a grain of salt but that is just how I feel towards it and from what he was like on the show. 

 As for the drugs, I wonder if the show even bothers asking about that. It shouldn't be asked if they are ok being with a drug user though. That is just wrong and I think would make many run for the door. Especially since its illegal.  Now if they were in a state that it was legal I can see asking about pot (even medical only states) but otherwise why ask if its ok? Asking if they use is another story so they can toss those people aside but I am wondering if they even ask about each person and if they use any kind of drugs. Another one of those lingering questions we may never get the answers too when it comes to what they ask these people. 

 

9 minutes ago, henrysmom said:

Don't we all?  :) 

Is it possible they found Nick when looking for possible AirBnB places for the couples to "find"?  Somebody last season found Ashley and David's love nest on AirBnB, so maybe when the producers were scouting locations they ran across one of Nick's and when they found out he was single, recruited him that way?

Pepper was buddies with the guy that owned the rental they were in and that is how that happened. He was at one point on a HGTV show. But does make you wonder where they found him and Derek as well. We know Tom they got from FB. Which if Nick was found this way, he probably thought about how he could promote his businesses and nothing more. 

[psychoticstate]

23 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

The problem with Derek saying things like this is that he lies. He did it about texting her before meeting with the Pastor that last time. He said he texted her and she didn't respond but she had. She even told the Pastor she had and what she said. It was short but guess to him that didn't matter.

Maybe I misunderstood or am not remembering correctly but I thought Derek said he had sent Heather a text asking her some specific questions and while she did reply along the lines of "thanks for the text," she didn't respond to his questions.   I also thought he said he had asked her to meet with him beforehand and privately to talk about things and she didn't address that. 

Again, I could be wrong or Derek could be lying about that (although if it was via text message, it would be fairly easy to prove or disprove.) 

[ChristmasJones]

1 hour ago, Lola16 said:

Nick easily could have said, Sonia is beautiful and a sweetheart.  When asked about their future, he could have hedged: Sonia isn't the type of (girl, person) I usually date but we all went into this "experiment" knowing we'd be matched to complete "strangers" (obligatory show buzz words) and I'm committed to the process.  If pressed about physical intimacy, Nick could have said: "I don't think it would be fair to either of us to pursue that portion of the relationship until after the experiment is over. We'll know each other better then and know how we want to proceed as a couple."

But here is the problem- IMO, Nick is not capable of expressing himself verbally to that degree. Take a second and look at the complexity in each of those sentences you wrote- they include a combination of self-awareness of his own feelings, insight into his own motivations, as well as empathy for Sonia's feelings.

Most of us take for granted that we could express such thoughts verbally, and have that level of self-awareness. And that's because most of us can and do. But there are many people who struggle in this arena. And I believe Nick has actual deficits in these areas, and that is why he hasn't ever said anything anywhere close to those types of statements.  I think this is a much better explanation than him being gay. JMO

[gonecrackers]

3 hours ago, Stinamaia said:

I'm not diminishing Sonia's feelings in anyway, but as s viewer, I had to laugh when I saw motor mouth Nick emerge.  We had weeks of him nearly unable to string together words that formed a complete sentence, and boom! Suddenly he could speak in a whole paragraph.  

I do agree with others that bottling up his feelings caused the eruption. I saw both Sonia and Nick being afraid to ask and answer question because of fears.  It seemed to me that Sonia could never summon up the gumption to ask if he was attracted to her or wanted to have sex with her. Nick, for whatever reasons, was equally afraid to state his true feelings.  

LOL on the sentence/paragraph - I was quite impressed at that part anyway.

However, the build up could've been 'released' in a more mature, kinder way. His words not aligning with actions & that rude, hurtful explosion, shows his true character.

[lh25]

1 hour ago, psychoticstate said:

One of the links posted a few pages back, with Derek's interview, mentioned that before the season started he sent Heather a friend request on Facebook, which she ignored, and some private messages asking her if she was excited for their season to start.

I'm assuming this was after filming was done.  I can't see why she would want to be Facebook friends with him, or be excited to watch the train-wreck that was their marriage.

[SaucyMommy]

Just spent some time on Sonia's twitter. She said that the words Nick said at the time hurt - but they were only words. Man she handles herself really well!

[Evil Queen]

1 hour ago, Stinamaia said:

If it makes him happy and the other people in his life happy, so be it.  I still think it's odd and I think the people with the cat party have an odd relationship too.  But, I'm a person who doesn't give animals Christmas presents or birthday presents.  My belief is that it's healthier for animals to be treated kindly and thoughtfully but also like the animals they are and not like the human animals they are not.  That being said, I would never partner with someone who didn't like animals. It could't happen.  However, I don't think Sonia not liking animals really factors into Nick's lack of attraction.  

Agree. I wouldn't throw my cats a party but admit we do give them little kitty toys/treats for Christmas and they have small stockings. This was done though more for our kids asking to do it than us. So guess we may fall in with some odd stuff but that is it. Now I find it a bit gross with pets licking faces and stuff though and do not want some dog or other pet licking me either. Its just not for me. I do let my cats sleep on my bed at night or next to me on the couch in the day. I do not get dressing up your animals at all. It is something I can't stand or those that have to drag their poor dogs out everywhere and anywhere because god forbid you leave the pet at home anymore. Especially when going to a place with food. SMH As for it being part of Nick and Sonia, I don't think it has to do with the lack of attraction at all. I really don't think there was ever one between them to begin with. 

1 hour ago, 1992austenlover said:

I like how Neil handled the situation last season. Though he claimed that he was attracted to Sam on the wedding day (which I believe that he probably was as Sam wasn't being particularly rude to him that day and she was all dolled up in that beautiful dress), from then onwards Neil never made any bold claims to insinuate that his feelings for Sam were anything more than platonic but at the same time, for the sake of the marriage/experiment,  he always spoke about how he was hopeful and optimistic that one day those feelings could develop into something more. Nick's narrative is similar to Neil's narrative in the sense that, like Neil, Nick has been trying to build a friendship with Sonia in the hopes that their chemistry will grow; however, I think that Nick is really struggling to find a healthy balance between being honest while still being kind/ optimistic--and I think that his poor verbal communication skills that you mentioned prevents him from being able to find that equilibrium. That's why when Nick is being honest, he comes as a little cold (ie. the "Am I in love with you? No." debacle); he spends so much time hiding his true feelings in the hopes of being civil/kind that when he does have a moment of true honesty, its like a weight has been released from his shoulders and he feels entitled to unload given all of the effort that it has taken for him to keep his true feelings bottled up inside. Clearly, it's all or nothing with him and as a result, he doesn't come off as genuine at all. I just don't think that he's really equipped to handle this experiment (which is fine--it's definitely not for everyone).   

I don't think Nick is at all like how Neil was. Nick is cold and mean. I don't think he wanted to try to build a friendship at all with her either in hopes of it leading to more. He hasn't done anything to really show he wanted to do that. He has been distant. Doesn't really give anything about himself up for her to get to know him or learn who he is. Which to me says he wants nothing to do with her at all and wants to just get this done and over with. The fact that he is saying one thing in THs and to the "experts" then acting another way that doesn't match or he uses a tone that is hard to believe what he is saying in those moments comes off in bad light. Its where you start to look at him and question many things about him. Why is he there? Why did he want to really do this show? Is he there to just promote his businesses? 

1 hour ago, Zuleikha said:

But why should the participants try? The experts have no real reason for the matches. If the participants don't like their match, what's the basis for pushing through it? IMHO, the dogs issue is reason enough for both Nick and Sonia to say to the show, "screw you." Why on earth should Sonia suffer and push through her discomfort with dogs to try and make something happen with a man who there's no real reason to believe is worth it? Why should Nick be happy about disrupting his dogs' routine and freedom for a woman he has no real reason to believe is worth it?

The show's premise requires the participants to have faith in the experts. I think a lot of the participants do start the show with that faith. But then they quickly realize that the experts have betrayed it. Why do we expect the participants to hold up their end--which requires considerable physical and emotional vulnerability--when we all know the experts aren't holding up theirs?

 

And they were raked over the coals for it! I don't blame Nick for lying in talking heads because he was probably hoping that he could make it through the 6 weeks saying polite things about Sonia and then go their separate ways. Which again goes back to my objection about the importance of the participants' trying. Sonia KNOWS Nick isn't attracted to her and they're not particularly working as a couple. So wouldn't it be better for both of them if she stopped pushing Nick?

Well said and agree. I can't see anyone who watches this show season after season wanting to really be on it with how crappy the "experts" are at matching. I think that they should be questioning them on why they were matched. Real reasons to not some crappy oh you are both kind bs. Kind doesn't mean they are good together. Why match someone who is not ok with dogs with someone that has not 1 but 2 dogs that he has jumping all over? Why match someone like Heather with someone like Derek? I am glad Heather was able to stick to her decision and get out of it. They shouldn't have to stick it out and try to create something that is never going to happen no matter what. The way the "experts" push them in such a manner is disgusting on their part when they should see clear as day that its not there and going to work. Yet instead they rather lay blame on one of the people in each couple and not the one they should be either for it not working at the time or at all. Why not find out why its not working and suck it up and take the blame for it instead since they matched them? 

36 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

Maybe I misunderstood or am not remembering correctly but I thought Derek said he had sent Heather a text asking her some specific questions and while she did reply along the lines of "thanks for the text," she didn't respond to his questions.   I also thought he said he had asked her to meet with him beforehand and privately to talk about things and she didn't address that. 

Again, I could be wrong or Derek could be lying about that (although if it was via text message, it would be fairly easy to prove or disprove.) 

3 minutes ago, lh25 said:

I'm assuming this was after filming was done.  I can't see why she would want to be Facebook friends with him, or be excited to watch the train-wreck that was their marriage.

She said something along the lines of the thanks for the text and I think how she needed time to think. I don't blame her for not answer every single one or meeting him if he did ask. I wouldn't have either. If someone says to you they need some time to think the best thing to do would be let them have it. Not hound them over it all. Yet he told the Pastor she didn't answer him at all when they had their one on one talk. Then when Pastor had his one on one with Heather and asked her about it, she said she replied and exactly what she said to him. If the Pastor said anything to them on that when they were both in the room together we didn't hear it and it should have been something said to him IMO. As well as I don't see why she would have responded after all was said and done to him anyway. I think if any of us was stuck in a situation that ended like that we wouldn't either. 

 

2 minutes ago, SaucyMommy said:

Just spent some time on Sonia's twitter. She said that the words Nick said at the time hurt - but they were only words. Man she handles herself really well!

They are just words and I am glad she handles it well but words can hurt more than some realize. They can stick with you for a long time or for the rest of your life. With this I think she was probably glad to finally have a clear picture of things. Might not have been the way she would have liked but at least she is able to know and go from there. Which I hope is get out and not look back. 

[Evil Queen]

Tom was saying he missed his bus and wasn't into living the brick and mortar life though. So I wondered about how it will effect them as the time goes on. Would he be willing to agree on living in a "brick and mortar" place during the week and have the bus for weekends or whenever though? 

Nick is just an idiot. I'm thinking he is getting to that point he just can't keep the lies. Which he never should have started them to begin with. If he wasn't in to her he should have found a way to say so without being an ass. I agree that the way he gets angry and does it is not a good thing. No one wants to be in a relationship with that kind of person. That relationship isn't going anywhere at all. So for him saying it wasn't where it should be....well gee why is that? Could it be he doesn't want it to be and has done all he can to make every last excuse on keeping it from getting to where it should be as he says...I don't get why he is on this show at all or why he was picked. 

[Stinamaia]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

LOL on the sentence/paragraph - I was quite impressed at that part anyway.

However, the build up could've been 'released' in a more mature, kinder way. His words not aligning with actions & that rude, hurtful explosion, shows his true character.

Agree. Unfortunately, eruptions tend to be rude and hurtful. That's why it's best not to let it get to that point. 

[Neurochick]

I don't get what business Nick is promoting.  Has he or anybody else said anything about his business?  I don't even know what his business is. 

[holly4755]

4 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Yes, but he probably wanted to get his mother off his back.  I don't get all this analysis of Nick.  Some people just aren't attracted to others, and there's no rhyme or reason to it.  Nick is this season's Ashley, only we knew from the wedding day that Ashley wasn't into David. 

I wonder if Nick had been honest with Sonia from the beginning, what people would have thought about him.  It's like people get upset when others aren't honest but what we really mean is "I want you to be honest the way I want you to be honest."  So when you tell people the truth and they don't like what you're telling them, they get pissed off; so instead of being honest, Nick kept everything close to the vest and when he couldn't take any more, he blew up.

well he was honest a bit in saying he wanted things to go slow and people did not like that either, I think  it was 6 weeks of their life, and he held her hand and did not treat Sonia as repulsive. I agree how was not attracted to her, but to tell her that outright, would have been bad also (see how Heather has haters), he is fulfilling his contract while not being totally obnoxious. but the "not interested" is there. I don't know if he told that to Sonia or didn't, I am not sure how much is encouraged by the producers who already have one over and done couple and most likely do not want to have another.  But I can understand in the push and pull of different producers directors, participants eventually exploding in a moment of unstoppable anger.

Dogs, I love mine and give them random gifts, but the big problem is getting others to stop giving my dog gifts she can't use (the shelters love me) she has 5 dog beds, she could have had more if I hadn't given them away.  They are always giving me toys for a dog that likes to hunt not play. Again, the shelters love me. 

I missed a quote above where someone said the bachelor had better success rate - NOT!

I Looked up the statistics in 14 years not a single bachelor married the woman  to whom he proposed. of all the years one guy is dating a different woman from the show, but they are not married.  Now the bachelorettes have a better success rate., out of 11 years, 4 are together, 3 married. so out of 25 shows 3 people are married (and none of them men's choice) - worse rate, just saying and they got to pick their mates out of several people.  MAFS has 2 out of 12.

link -How Many ‘Bachelor’ and ‘Bachelorette’ Couples Actually Make It?

Edited September 16, 2016 by holly4755

[zxy556575]

5 hours ago, okerry said:

MAFS is never going to be a success, and that's not even due to the "experts" - lousy as they are. No, the bottom line is that there are practically zero men willing to Marry At First Sight, so we get only the ones who sign up for all the wrong reasons - money, teevee famewhore, think they're getting a paid six-week hookup, pushing products, convincing their families they're not gay, etc. etc.

It's a "success" for FYI in the ratings. :)

I think the producers could easily find men who are stable, mature, and genuinely looking for a spouse, but they'd be older, perhaps divorced with kids, and not traditionally good looking. I'd watch that but it's not the business American reality TV is in.

As for people castigating Heather or Nick, compare their behavior to Jaclyn or (ugh) Jamie. Both were distressed and displeased on their wedding days but they went forward one step at a time. Neither quit.

Doug was patient, charming and funny enough that Jamie eventually began to overlook what she saw as his physical flaws. Jaclyn immediately friend-zoned Ryan, but she remained gregarious and willingly engaged in various activities on their honeymoon. After a while, she also began to develop romantic feelings for him.

The point is that both of whose women remained open-minded and engaged. I don't think Heather, Ashley, or Nick have done so, which is mostly why they get flamed. They knew what the show was about but still never tried, and that sticks in my craw. These people are supposed to dance for my amusement, dammit.

Edited September 16, 2016 by lordonia

[psychoticstate]

29 minutes ago, lh25 said:

I'm assuming this was after filming was done.  I can't see why she would want to be Facebook friends with him, or be excited to watch the train-wreck that was their marriage.

Not being friends with him Facebook and especially MAFS Twitter seems like it would indicate that things didn't go well from the start.  I would think for the sake of honoring her contract, if nothing else, she could at least be superficial friends with him on FB and Twitter.

[psychoticstate]

1 hour ago, Evil Queen said:

She said something along the lines of the thanks for the text and I think how she needed time to think. I don't blame her for not answer every single one or meeting him if he did ask. I wouldn't have either. If someone says to you they need some time to think the best thing to do would be let them have it. Not hound them over it all. Yet he told the Pastor she didn't answer him at all when they had their one on one talk. Then when Pastor had his one on one with Heather and asked her about it, she said she replied and exactly what she said to him. If the Pastor said anything to them on that when they were both in the room together we didn't hear it and it should have been something said to him IMO. As well as I don't see why she would have responded after all was said and done to him anyway. I think if any of us was stuck in a situation that ended like that we wouldn't either. 

 

I agree.  I do think though that when Derek said she didn't reply it was taken as she didn't reply to him at all when what he meant could have been that she didn't reply to something specific within the text. 

[Madding crowd]

41 minutes ago, holly4755 said:

well he was honest a bit in saying he wanted things to go slow and people did not like that either, I think  it was 6 weeks of their life, and he held her hand and did not treat Sonia as repulsive. I agree how was not attracted to her, but to tell her that outright, would have been bad also (see how Heather has haters), he is fulfilling his contract while not being totally obnoxious. but the "not interested" is there. I don't know if he told that to Sonia or didn't, I am not sure how much is encouraged by the producers who already have one over and done couple and most likely do not want to have another.  But I can understand in the push and pull of different producers directors, participants eventually exploding in a moment of unstoppable anger.

Dogs, I love mine and give them random gifts, but the big problem is getting others to stop giving my dog gifts she can't use (the shelters love me) she has 5 dog beds, she could have had more if I hadn't given them away.  They are always giving me toys for a dog that likes to hunt not play. Again, the shelters love me. 

I missed a quote above where someone said the bachelor had better success rate - NOT!

I Looked up the statistics in 14 years not a single bachelor married the woman  to whom he proposed. of all the years one guy is dating a different woman from the show, but they are not married.  Now the bachelorettes have a better success rate., out of 11 years, 4 are together, 3 married. so out of 25 shows 3 people are married (and none of them men's choice) - worse rate, just saying and they got to pick their mates out of several people.  MAFS has 2 out of 12.

link -How Many ‘Bachelor’ and ‘Bachelorette’ Couples Actually Make It?

Sean Lowe was The Bachelor and is married to the person he proposed to. Jason Messnick married his second choice.

[henrysmom]

Quote

It's a "success" for FYI in the ratings. :)

Does anybody know how this show is doing in the ratings?  I've tried to look but can't find anything.

[zxy556575]

53 minutes ago, henrysmom said:

Does anybody know how this show is doing in the ratings?  I've tried to look but can't find anything.

There were 1.087M total viewers for the 9/13 episode. That placed it 43rd out of the top 100 cable shows on Tuesdays.

[ctbabe]

4 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

Maybe I misunderstood or am not remembering correctly but I thought Derek said he had sent Heather a text asking her some specific questions and while she did reply along the lines of "thanks for the text," she didn't respond to his questions.   I also thought he said he had asked her to meet with him beforehand and privately to talk about things and she didn't address that. 

Again, I could be wrong or Derek could be lying about that (although if it was via text message, it would be fairly easy to prove or disprove.) 

You are not right that issue was clarified by Jamie. Heather sent a short response back then he sent a followup txt and she didn't response. 

[Waterlilly]

I don't know how to bring thingys from SM or stuff like that, but I saw on another forum where a renter discribed staying in one of Nick's Airbnb rentals and it was the house they shared to a tee. Not sure the importance of this though.

on another note I saw that Vaughn is a baby daddy!

[BonnieLass]

Wow. No words for this - except for "What an asshole". 

http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/videos/sonia-walks-out-on-nick

[Snarklepuss]

7 hours ago, Stinamaia said:

I don't think it would have been worse than what people think now.  I do think Nick deserves credit for not having sex with Sonia when she was clearly open to it.  Lots of men have sex with women they don't care about at all.  Derek would have been all over Heather if she had given him the opportunity, but I don't think he thought she was particularly attractive. 

I don't think Nick deserves credit for anything.  It didn't take any effort on his part to keep himself away from Sonia if he really wasn't attracted to her in the first place!

7 hours ago, BunnySlippers said:

It was still lying, whether it was to get his mother off his back or not. And he's been lying to the camera and Dr. Pepper, too, when he kept saying he was attracted to her and that, eventually, he wanted to have sex with her, and that he thought their marriage was an 8 or 9. Those were deliberate lies if he really doesn't like her and doesn't find her attractive. The problem isn't that he's not attracted to her. The problem is him pretending to have these feelings.

Ashley and Heather at least didn't pretend.

Can I double like this?  I forgot about how he said it was an 8 or a 9.  Even just based on what we have seen alone plus Sonia's much lower rating we know there's something really off about that.  What a freaking lie.  Not just a lie to get his mother off his back but a lie to look like he was something he was not, and not even caring one bit how it might hurt Sonia in the end.  That's completely reprehensible if you ask me.   On top of everything else, his "I'm not in love with you" comment made me think he's paranoid and thinks thinks that any interest from her means she must be in love with him.  Reminds me of the guys in bars who think every woman who even looks at them is hot for their bodies like they fantasize they're some kind of stud.  If that were me I would have said, "Oh please, get over yourself".

[Waterlilly]

I think Sonia has handled herself with class and honesty, if this show was filmed after the fact. I think that Nick might not have feelings for people in general, he can socialize, mingle, have casual sex with, do business with and tolerate them to some extent, but feelings are not something he is comfortable with. He doesn't even answer his mom with any feeling. My Latina female friends are very sexy and uninhabited (not generalizing) just sayin, they are so not into flat Nick.

[Waterlilly]

But, isn't this classic narcissism Snarklepuss?  No feelings, even for Mom.  The only thing is, that he is kind to the dogs...

[Snarklepuss]

1 minute ago, Waterlilly said:

But, isn't this classic narcissism Snarklepuss?  No feelings, even for Mom.  The only thing is, that he is kind to the dogs...

I wouldn't try to diagnose him on so little but I think I'm safe to say that Sonia is right that he is emotionally immature (in the preview posted above she said it was like talking with a 10 year old).  Immature selfishness can be pretty narcissistic, though.

I agree - no words for him.  Sonia is a total sweetheart, though.  She is definitely using her training not to blow up at him.  Good for her for walking out.  I don't care if he's not attracted to her, that's not the way to treat a woman.  The "opening up" he should do is to level with her about how he feels or doesn't feel.  That's all she wanted by asking him to open up if you want my opinion.

[BonnieLass]

3 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

The "opening up" he should do is to level with her about how he feels or doesn't feel.  That's all she wanted by asking him to open up if you want my opinion.

I agree with this 1000% 

[Jack Sampson]

6 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

The "opening up" he should do is to level with her about how he feels or doesn't feel.  That's all she wanted by asking him to open up if you want my opinion.

He sure as hell did that in the clip BonBon posted.