Indian Matchmaking - General Discussion

[GoldaVining]

12 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I thought Akshay was in love with his cousin.

Totally. I think maybe she was in love with him too. The way they looked at each other.....

[Baltimore Betty]

On 7/20/2020 at 7:10 PM, Bunnyette said:

Poor Nadia with that flaky Vinnie, Pradhyuman is gay...

The second he came on screen I thought that then we saw his closet full of clothing he designs for the goddess statues it was undeniable.

[Baltimore Betty]

On 7/21/2020 at 9:03 AM, EarlGreyTea said:

I wasn't sure what to make of Akshay's reluctance to marry, except I think I know exactly what it is: he's 25! No way in Hades was I ready for marriage then, and I suspect the same is true of him. And why should he want marriage when many of the perks (having a stable home, someone to talk to, and someone to cook/clean for him) are done by his mother?

He is a spoiled little boy and lord help the women he does marry, he has temper tantrums written all over him and a mother who will back him up everytime.

[Baltimore Betty]

Nadia is beautiful but the constant giggling and hair flipping got tiresome.  

Aparna game out of the gate as a bitchy Debbie Downer, she started to change a bit but still seems unflexible.

I loved the vet, she seemed to be happy with herself and I thought she and the college adviser were a good match.

Ankita for the win, it will happen when it happens and if not, she is very happy with herself, no problem with that.

The thing that got me was how casual some of the women dressed for their first dates, dress to impress was always my motto, look your best, put on heels and something that will give the guy something to look at, it does not have to be boobs out sort of thing but the vet looked like she was going on a Target run.

This culture is not so different than mine, the Orthodox Jewish culture believes that if you meet someone and like them, meet three times or so and then decide about getting engaged, it's dating with a purpose, none of this "just hanging out," casual stuff going on. Once you get engaged it is full speed ahead with wedding plans, usually within a month's time they are married. 

 

 

[EarlGreyTea]

1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

He is a spoiled little boy and lord help the women he does marry, he has temper tantrums written all over him and a mother who will back him up everytime.

And unless the editing was unkind, he has the personality of a wet mop. Every other person on the show showed hobbies and interests, but I never got a sense of what Akshay was like. Perhaps he has been overshadowed and coddled by his mother to an extent that he never developed as a person. I'd love to know if the brother settled for his bride and/or felt rushed into marriage.

Lastly, I think every single person on this show is loaded (with the possible exception of Vyasar, and maybe his family all chipped in), because otherwise how in the world can they afford Sima Auntie?

Nadia reminds me exactly of my cousin, God bless them both. Both are gorgeous, great job, nice hobbies,  very bubbly, but for some reason ooze desperation and overcompensate. So even though both Nadia and my cousin get a huge amount of attention from men, suitors are either not serious or are put off by said desperation. It pains me to write that. But how else to explain why Nadia, who is the total package, remains single?

Edited July 23, 2020 by EarlGreyTea

[Neurochick]

On 7/20/2020 at 7:10 PM, Bunnyette said:

 Pradhyuman is gay.

I don't feel comfortable saying that, he may be gay, but he may be not; he could be asexual.  Plenty of people say "partner" these days, because they want an equal to marry.

Years ago, I was visiting family and one of the boys (11) called another boy the "F" word.  I asked him why he said that and he said that it was because that boy liked to cook.  I reminded this child that many of the head chefs in fine restaurants are men.  He learned that men who do x,y and z HAVE to be gay because "that's what girls like."  That's how kids get bullied.

I do think that Pradhyuman has no interest in getting married right now.  I think a lot of the young people don't want to get married when their parents want them to.  That said, I don't feel sorry for Akshay.  Sure his mother is tough, but he's living in HER house.  He may be the type of person who, if his mother said, "whatever you want" would sit there and not get married and then become resentful at age 40 that he didn't get married young.  Akshay's mom knows her child.

Speaking of colorism, I have an issue with Viyakar  He said that he'd dated only white women in the past, but NOW that he's getting married he wants to marry an Indian woman.  Does that mean he's more attracted to white women?  If no, that won't bode well for him and the Indian woman he marries.  I once knew a young man who liked Puerto Rican women.  His family was like "NO, you marry an Irish girl."  So he did, had two kids, divorced her a few years later (he did what his family wanted) and guess what?  You got it, he married a Puerto Rican girl.   

[Pepper Mostly]

12 hours ago, Neurochick said:

As for settling, well that's kind of what happens in life.  In reality the sky really isn't the limit for everybody.

Agreed. And isn't that kind of the point of using a matchmaker in the first place? No one is expecting to fall madly in love based on a few meetings. No one is expecting fireworks and choirs of angels. They are expecting to meet someone they like, have things in common with, similar background and outlook on life and beliefs. And BOTH partners (looking at you, Vinay!) enter into an arrangement with the expectation that love can, and will grow. The assumption going in is that both partners will do everything they can to encourage this. All of the older couples interviewed said things like "I liked you" or "I thought you were cute" or "I just had a feeling". Its not a perfect system but the chances of arranged marriages working out are just as good as anyone's. I would like to see another season, but I'd like to see some matches succeed. 

On 7/21/2020 at 2:46 AM, Memphisbelly said:

I thought Akshay was in love with his cousin.

Ashkay loves one person. His mother. 

[HoneyBeach]

On 7/22/2020 at 9:20 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Oh sure! And on the other hand, Rupam, the Sikh woman, had a sister who was married to an African American man! I wanted to know more about that story! How did the family react? Did it cause problems? How about HIS family? They need a show! 

YES!!! I was surprised her sister was married to an African American because the dad would not allow Rupam to even consider the first guy selected for her, who I thought was better than what she was hoping for - given her "circumstances" of being a divorced mother, only to find her sister apparently happily married to someone of another race and religion I assume.  This would be a great show, even an episode!

[Thadeeeyus]

14 hours ago, Angeleyes said:

Vinay shares his side of events on his Instagram page. It’s in the Where Are They Now article I posted. Despite some he said/she said stuff and possible reality show shenanigans, he still seems flaky to me. He probably just wanted to be on the show to promote his business and become a fitness influencer. 
 

You mean there are shenanigans involved?  Horrors!  It was pretty easy to see throughout this show.   I watched the series in two days.  I loved it through the first 6 episodes and then it started to seem like just another reality show full of manipulation.  That bit with Nadia and Vinnie wreaked of it.  I ended up liking Aparna and Vyasar the most.  Aparna grew on me and it became obvious later on that she was just playing a role.  My favorite part was the talking heads with the older couples and seeing the parents.  Nadia's parents seemed to be pretty relaxed and didn't seem as much like they were acting.  

[HoneyBeach]

16 hours ago, Angeleyes said:

Vinay shares his side of events on his Instagram page. It’s in the Where Are They Now article I posted. Despite some he said/she said stuff and possible reality show shenanigans, he still seems flaky to me. He probably just wanted to be on the show to promote his business and become a fitness influencer. 
 

Has anyone seen the documentary Sima Auntie was a part of called An Appropriate Girl? There is a short trailer for the documentary on YouTube, but she does not appear in those 2 minutes. I’m hoping Netflix will add the documentary soon. 
 

 

Yes, I saw that documentary.  It's called "A Suitable Girl". It was very sad! 

Spoiler

But at least the girls got married and hopefully will be happy. 

Spoiler

I don't remember their names, but the young woman who married a guy kind of like Akshay, basically said right in front of her, "If it wasn't her it would have been someone else.".  And the look on that poor girl's face.  My heart broke for her.  I was very happy, and hopeful, for the other young lady who was very immature and plump, who was past her 30s and how much she wanted to find someone.  I didn't think she would, but it appeared she made the most suitable match.

 

Edited July 23, 2020 by HoneyBeach

[Hanya2]

Yes, Ashkay is wealthy, there will be a very traditional young woman's family who only care about the money and prestige.

[legxleg]

Oh man I feel for whoever winds up with Ashkay. Not only is he completely under his mother’s thumb, the poor bride would have to live with the in- laws. Honestly, meeting the whole family together makes sense to me if that’s the usual living arrangement- you really are marrying the family. And that mother-in-law would give me hives! On top of that, Ashkay seems to have no personality. I mean, he says he has felt a sort of falling in Love feeling with movies or projects - what movie or project? Please describe a single interest other than your mother!

 

Aparna is a difficult personality, but I felt for her. I also thought the matchmaker came in looking to take her down a few pegs before she even opened her mouth. Like that weird negging thing where Aparna said she’s a lawyer and the matchmaker is like ‘oh in India it’s bad for a woman to be a lawyer.’ Or giving her a Look when Aparna said she doesn’t cook.   I think Aparna has tried so hard to be successful that she never really became happy, which makes her sort of short and judgmental with people. I think unhappy people sometimes resent happy ones.

[configdotsys]

Great show. Some thoughts before reading everyone else's posts. I'm so happy there is a thread for this. I'm up to episode 4 now but just have to post.

I totally dislike Aparna. There are some people in the world who will never experience true joy and happiness. They will remain joyless and just never learned to play and have fun. She's arrogant and like the last guy that did not want to meet her again (which made me happy, because I bet she thought that she was calling the shots) said "Her vacations are experiences," and not meant to relax. She seems to be a counter: I've been to 40 countries... seems like the number is the most important thing to her. She ticks off accomplishments as if she had no happiness in completing them. She doesn't even like being a lawyer. What a dysfunctional person. She is totally missing any wiring that has to do with just chilling and having fun. I could go on for days about her but yikes.

Nadia seems like such a sweet person. She's beautiful and in great shape and so genuine. It makes me sad that Vinay was such a flake. 

I think the jewelry guy is gay like someone else posted earlier and it's easy for him to dismiss every girl as not his type because he's never going to be interested in anyone. 

[Mercolleen]

On 7/21/2020 at 3:15 PM, athousandclowns said:

 Most of all I loved Vyasar the school adviser.  

I want him to be my friend!

On 7/21/2020 at 9:50 PM, Hanya2 said:

Good for Ankita for being sure enough of herself to call everyone on their BS.

 

I just got up to the episode where we meet her. WTF with everyone telling her she is ugly? I think she is so cute! I'm glad to know that she will stand up for herself.

[Mercolleen]

On 7/22/2020 at 7:56 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

I liked them both too, and I am a person that some people think of as "on" all the time.

We are thankful for your "on" snark, @Pepper Mostly!

[Pepper Mostly]

47 minutes ago, Mercolleen said:

I want him to be my friend!

I just got up to the episode where we meet her. WTF with everyone telling her she is ugly? I think she is so cute! I'm glad to know that she will stand up for herself.

I thought she was very cute too. Her skin was not great and she didn't dress to her shape, but she was definitely cute. A day with an esthetician who could recommend a good skin care routine, a good haircut and some clothes that fit her well would work wonders. And how shitty of the matchmakers to diss her for not being tall and thin! Lots of men like a zaftig woman. I know personally a very intelligent and handsome young man whose taste runs to the pleasingly plump. Years ago I worked as a personnel consultant, our area was office support and secretarial placements. Of course the ideal applicant was a young woman in her 20's, preferably one who went to secretarial school (do they even exist any more?), couple of years experience, and who "made a nice appearance" as we used to say. But they were fairly thin on the ground, a good counselor could hone the diamonds in the rough, and find the niche for the more unusual candidates. Sima Auntie reminds me of a local guy who had a reputation for being lazy, but "find him a girl with good typing and shorthand, secretarial school, couple of years experience, and he's a dynamo!". Well, yeah, because those applicants place themselves, basically. Its money in your pocket. Seema Auntie can work with a tall, fair, educated person with family money and no baggage. But I bet anyone can. She doesn't seem to have the ability to think outside the box very well. 

[legxleg]

OK I watched the one where Pradhyuman goes to the life coach to help him be ready for marriage. The life coach starts talking about the things women feel apprehensive about when it comes to an arranged marriage, and says whether they will be attracted to the guy is one of them, and Pradhyman is like "really? Girls care if a guy is good-looking?" I laughed. It was really funny to me that this guy apparently didn't think that women care if the guy is good-looking or not. I really wonder what sort of person he would be if he were not so wealthy and good-looking. I don't dislike him or anything, but this genuine surprise struck me as so funny.

[configdotsys]

On 7/22/2020 at 5:16 PM, humbleopinion said:

Vinay was the Guyanese guy who lead Nadia on by starting out of the gate hot and heavy....then he flakes big time when he texted he was on his way to meet her and her 2 gfs for drinks...his excuse for not showing up was he was arguing with his sister.

He then stood her up a second time and that’s when her heart got stomped on by him.

Moving on...
Nadia and mother flew to Chicago to go out with Aparna’s reject...the happy lawyer.
But not a match...

You can feel Nadia’s loneliness through the screen....

Vinay wasn't the Guyanese guy. The Guyanese guy was the first guy that Nadia met. The one who ordered orange juice and raised an eyebrow at her ordering a mimosa because he doesn't drink. He was the lawyer who she thought was giving "lawyer type answers" and not being very open. He pinged my gaydar, actually.

In any case, did they say on the show the Nadia and the Chicago lawyer that Aparna met first did not work out? I thought the last sight of them was them walking away in the rain. I hated that they left us hanging with some of these people. I saw the Where Are They Now? post here but does anyone know what happened with Nadia and the lawyer?

I kinda started to lose interest in the show once the original people vanished with no updates and all of a sudden, these new people came along. I didn't have the patience really to get to know them but I tried. Ashkay, the spoiled child who was aghast that he had to do his own laundry and make his bed in college I disliked right away and had no real interest in his story and his mother from hell. Did I miss them breaking up? A post above appeared to say that it did not work out but the last I saw they were having a gathering with both families and mother in law from hell was giving her gifts?

I don't really have much to say about the others who came along because I was only half paying attention. The college adviser guy with the father in prison came across as way too hyper for me.

 

 

[EarlGreyTea]

2 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I kinda started to lose interest in the show once the original people vanished with no updates and all of a sudden, these new people came along. I didn't have the patience really to get to know them but I tried. Ashkay, the spoiled child who was aghast that he had to do his own laundry and make his bed in college I disliked right away and had no real interest in his story and his mother from hell. Did I miss them breaking up? A post above appeared to say that it did not work out but the last I saw they were having a gathering with both families and mother in law from hell was giving her gifts?

I don't really have much to say about the others who came along because I was only half paying attention. The college adviser guy with the father in prison came across as way too hyper for me.

The college adviser's (Vyasar) fatal flaw is probably going to be lack of ambition, because I think that was one of the turn-offs for Manisha, the first girl (who was gorgeous with lovely eyes). Also he seems a bit uncouth and sloppy. These are definitely things the right woman will overlook, but I would wager a guess that it's part of the reason he's single. However, his genuine kindness can probably make up for a lot.

Akshay:

Spoiler

They ended the engagement, which seems like it must have been humiliating for the woman and her family. I'd be pretty pissed, because it seems like ending engagements so publicly like this is Just Not Done in their culture. And does the girl just give back the jewels?

Preeti, his mother, must be livid. If Akshay was the one who broke it off, props to him for finally standing up to her.

 

[humbleopinion]

1 minute ago, configdotsys said:

Vinay wasn't the Guyanese guy.

D'oh! The names are unfamiliar to me so my Covid brain doesn't lock on them. Thx for the catch.

Nadia and the Happy Lawyer guy didn't work out because he wasn't interested to "go forward."

Ashkay didn't go through with the wedding so his mother is probably dead from stroke when he called it off (kidding)....her BP is 148/130...the bottom number is dangerously high.

[configdotsys]

2 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

D'oh! The names are unfamiliar to me so my Covid brain doesn't lock on them. Thx for the catch.

Nadia and the Happy Lawyer guy didn't work out because he wasn't interested to "go forward."

Ashkay didn't go through with the wedding so his mother is probably dead from stroke when he called it off (kidding)....her BP is 148/130...the bottom number is dangerously high.

The only reason I remembered the lawyer with the OJ was because it happened early. I just got lost in all the people as the show lurched forward. 

Oh, that's kind of a shame to me about the happy lawyer. They looked like such a good match. Maybe I was cleaning or something and missed a scene or two with them. I never got a desperate vibe from Nadia which is so weird since so many here feel that way. She seemed like a sunny, friendly person but maybe I just did not read her well.

Wow. I was going to say what's up with Ashkay but he's 25, he's been waited on hand and foot at home and is probably just so comfortable at home that starting something new with another person and having to get off your ass and be responsible just isn't worth it to him. 

@Pepper Mostly I'm so glad you're here! I just cracked up at "His porn is in there. And his diary." LOL! Awesome.

[Neurochick]

On 7/21/2020 at 2:46 AM, Memphisbelly said:

I thought Akshay was in love with his cousin.

I wondered if anybody else could see that.  The way he looked at her.  I was like, "he's totally in love with her".  They were so easy with each other too, absolutely no awkwardness. 

I thought Aparna was totally under her mother's thumb.  I sensed that her mother has chosen every aspect of her life, including her career. 

I liked seeing the older couples, but they got married at a simpler time.  Thirty-five, thirty years ago there was no social media.  Social media gives the illusion that there is an endless supply of people for you and if I can find someone else so easily, why settle down?

Edited July 24, 2020 by Neurochick

[Irlandesa]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

Maybe I was cleaning or something and missed a scene or two with them.

You didn't.  This show didn't have any "where are they now" follow ups at all.  Everything we know about where they are now comes from their social media, I think.

As for Ashkay and his "fiancee."

Spoiler

In the where are they now, they said there wasn't even an official engagement so I guess what we saw on screen wasn't it.

 

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

Oh, that's kind of a shame to me about the happy lawyer. They looked like such a good match. Maybe I was cleaning or something and missed a scene or two with them. I never got a desperate vibe from Nadia which is so weird since so many here feel that way. She seemed like a sunny, friendly person but maybe I just did not read her well.

When did they say Nadia and the lawyer didn't work out?  The last scene showed them walking in the rain together.  Too bad.  However Nadia seemed to ooze "I have to get married; I have to get married;"

Ashkay will never marry because he's in love with his cousin. 

Sometimes I feel like it's pushing a square peg into a round hole.   Someone could be gay, asexual, just not ready to get married.  It's not fair to say to every person, "it's either marriage or total and complete loneliness forever."

Edited July 24, 2020 by Neurochick

[configdotsys]

17 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

When did they say Nadia and the lawyer didn't work out?  The last scene showed them walking in the rain together.  Too bad.  However Nadia seemed to ooze "I have to get married; I have to get married;"

I have no idea. I remember them walking off in the rain and thinking they looked very happy but @humbleopinion said a few posts up that the lawyer didn't want to go forward. I didn't get that vibe from him at all. So weird.

[Kiss my mutt]

I think Nadia might be too bubbly for him and maybe not very interesting or intellectually stimulating. She’s pretty and charming but he needs someone between Aparna and Nadia personality wise. 

[Irlandesa]

13 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Speaking of colorism, I have an issue with Viyakar  He said that he'd dated only white women in the past, but NOW that he's getting married he wants to marry an Indian woman.  Does that mean he's more attracted to white women?  If no, that won't bode well for him and the Indian woman he marries.  I once knew a young man who liked Puerto Rican women.  His family was like "NO, you marry an Irish girl."  So he did, had two kids, divorced her a few years later (he did what his family wanted) and guess what?  You got it, he married a Puerto Rican girl.   

Do you mean Vyasar?  He he has dated one Indian but the rest of his dates were white.  

5 hours ago, legxleg said:

The life coach starts talking about the things women feel apprehensive about when it comes to an arranged marriage, and says whether they will be attracted to the guy is one of them, and Pradhyman is like "really? Girls care if a guy is good-looking?" I laughed. It was really funny to me that this guy apparently didn't think that women care if the guy is good-looking or not.

Sounds like a guy who has never had a girlfriend tell him how hot she think he is, right?

3 hours ago, EarlGreyTea said:

The college adviser's (Vyasar) fatal flaw is probably going to be lack of ambition, because I think that was one of the turn-offs for Manisha, the first girl (who was gorgeous with lovely eyes). Also he seems a bit uncouth and sloppy. These are definitely things the right woman will overlook, but I would wager a guess that it's part of the reason he's single. However, his genuine kindness can probably make up for a lot.

He's got a decent job so it will depend on whether or not the family has a "must be a businessman, lawyer, doctor...etc." mindset.  It sounds like he owns a home too. 

But his talk of wanting to be a stay at home husband/dad?  I do think that would make people hesitant, especially if it was brought up so early in the relationship.  I don't think there's anything wrong with that set up but I wouldn't be able to avoid hearing "I want to stay at home and play video games all day."

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

I didn't get that vibe from him at all. So weird.

I didn't either but I shouldn't be surprised because he was much more positive after his date with Aparna than I thought he'd be given how negative she was.  I wonder if he'd rather find a mate in Chicago for more face-to-face dating but was curious to do TV which is why he opened himself up to dating these women who lived far away.

[Pepper Mostly]

12 hours ago, configdotsys said:

The only reason I remembered the lawyer with the OJ was because it happened early. I just got lost in all the people as the show lurched forward. 

Oh, that's kind of a shame to me about the happy lawyer. They looked like such a good match. Maybe I was cleaning or something and missed a scene or two with them. I never got a desperate vibe from Nadia which is so weird since so many here feel that way. She seemed like a sunny, friendly person but maybe I just did not read her well.

Wow. I was going to say what's up with Ashkay but he's 25, he's been waited on hand and foot at home and is probably just so comfortable at home that starting something new with another person and having to get off your ass and be responsible just isn't worth it to him. 

@Pepper Mostly I'm so glad you're here! I just cracked up at "His porn is in there. And his diary." LOL! Awesome.

Aw, thanks! Good to see you too! 

I liked Nadia a lot. She seems like a happy type of person, ready to laugh and enjoy herself, looking for the joy in life. My heart broke when she cried. 

And regardless of whether he's in love with his cousin or not, Ashkay will get married. And so will his cousin. In their family its pretty clear that obedience to one's parents is paramount. His wife will have to move in with his family so marriage won't even change his life too much. He's just a spoiled little princeling. 

13 hours ago, EarlGreyTea said:

The college adviser's (Vyasar) fatal flaw is probably going to be lack of ambition, because I think that was one of the turn-offs for Manisha, the first girl (who was gorgeous with lovely eyes). Also he seems a bit uncouth and sloppy. These are definitely things the right woman will overlook, but I would wager a guess that it's part of the reason he's single. However, his genuine kindness can probably make up for a lot.

 

He's not very traditional, that will be something to overcome if he wants to pursue the matchmaker route. He's not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer, those are the desirable occupations (Ever read Abraham Verghese's book, "My Own Country"? He's a doctor, but he does not have a prestige specialty like cardiology or surgery; he'd get blowback at every family gathering about why he didn't choose a specialty with more oomph!). Vyasar's outgoing personality and kind nature are pluses, for sure. He has a good job, owns his home, and is a caring person. More of a free spirit. But his wife would have to have a solid profession if he wants to be a stay at home dad. That would definitely be a hurdle. But I don't think and extrovert like Vyasar would be able to stick staying at home--he thrives on the energy he gets from other people, and I think he would miss his colleagues at work and the kids. 

[Mercolleen]

Just watched Ashkay and Radikha's first meeting and phone call. OMG. So cringe. He is lying at the "engagement party" about how happy he is. Or maybe Little Ashkay is feeling the "childish school love" for a minute. Neither of them seem to have a personality.

[NannyBails]

On 7/22/2020 at 7:04 PM, Hanya2 said:

With some of these people, I wonder if they just wanted to be on TV.

 

The where are they now article linked earlier in this thread totally has me thinking that.

[Pepper Mostly]

OMG, Ashkay and Radhika. I thought they might be well matched for that reason! Both as interesting and personable as a rice cake. Match made in heaven! The bride would get all that jewelry, all those gorgeous saris, lack for nothing, have a social position. Once she popped out a couple of babies she'd get more jewelry, more saris, a nice car even. Maybe her family found someone richer, with a less domineering potential mother in law. 

Edited July 24, 2020 by Pepper Mostly

[Neurochick]

12 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

Do you mean Vyasar?  He he has dated one Indian but the rest of his dates were white.  

Yes, that's who I meant.  Thanks.

Quote

He's got a decent job so it will depend on whether or not the family has a "must be a businessman, lawyer, doctor...etc." mindset.  It sounds like he owns a home too. 

I have several friends who were brought up that you can only marry a: doctor, a lawyer or a businessman.  Vyasar was none of those things.  I think the first woman he talked do didn't think he was stable.

Edited July 24, 2020 by Neurochick

[Pepper Mostly]

So everyone I found this article today with several book recommendations, thought I'd share it. I've read several of these and I'm off to

thriftbooks.com to buy a few more: 

https://electricliterature.com/what-to-read-after-bingeing-indian-matchmaking-on-netflix/?fbclid=IwAR0ExLMK7vhvEMbkDO_SE8Aaymfd9WmcXl3chSqj_leYhUgEr8KlRDVxpN8

[hula-la]

34 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

So everyone I found this article today with several book recommendations, thought I'd share it. I've read several of these and I'm off to

thriftbooks.com to buy a few more: 

https://electricliterature.com/what-to-read-after-bingeing-indian-matchmaking-on-netflix/?fbclid=IwAR0ExLMK7vhvEMbkDO_SE8Aaymfd9WmcXl3chSqj_leYhUgEr8KlRDVxpN8

Thanks for sharing this list @Pepper Mostly! I read The Marriage Clock last year and loved it. I also highly recommend The Mango Season by Amulya Mulladi.

[Irlandesa]

And if you're interested in seeing what happens once a wedding happens, I recommend Made In Heaven on Amazon Prime.  It's primarily about two friends (one gay, one straight and married) who run a wedding planning business in New Dehli.  Pretty much each episode of the first season (there will be a second at some point) focuses on a couple getting married and each wedding/marriage tackles a different social issue from Indian society. (Or at least I assume so as I know little about Indian society and the creators do).

[Pepper Mostly]

1 hour ago, hula-la said:

Thanks for sharing this list @Pepper Mostly! I read The Marriage Clock last year and loved it. I also highly recommend The Mango Season by Amulya Mulladi.

I've read several of Amulya's books--we're Facebook friends! 

I read "Marrying Anita", "Arranged Marriage" (and several others but Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, all excellent), and "The Marriage Bureau for Wealthy People", and enjoyed them all. I love Indian writers. Jhumpa Lahiri, Anita Rao Badami, Thrity Umrigar are faves, but lots of others too. 

The greatest, most wonderful book about arranging marriages and everything else Indian is "A Suitable Boy", by Vikram Seth. The central plot is a mother's search for a husband for her daughter. But it is so much more, so rich! Its one of my favorite books of all time.  

[Angeleyes]

I just found another Netflix series called What The Love where a Bollywood star plays Cupid to singles. It’s interesting to compare it to the matchmaking show. 

[Scarlett45]

On 7/21/2020 at 11:30 AM, GoldaVining said:

So watching this (and knowing nothing at all about Indian culture), what happens if you are gay or asexual? Do your parents just expect you to enter into a heterosexual marriage anyway?

Generally no (unless you are an only child). If you’re gay or ace being single is fine, but as the single sibling you’re expected to take on the primary care of the parents. 
 

Of course every family is different but that’s been my general experience among my circle of Indian friends- whether they be Muslim or Hindu, first or second generation. My Mom has an Indian co-worker whos a lesbian (in her 50s), her parents understand she has a “friend”, but she is dutiful and a Successful doctor so it’s not an issue (they are Hindu). Again- every family and circumstance is different, because humans are humans.  

[Scarlett45]

On 7/21/2020 at 5:43 PM, Neurochick said:

Arpana doesn't really seem to want to get married.  She seems asexual to me; I can't even imagining her having sex. 

I don’t think she wants to get married either. I do think she’s lonely (likely because all of her peers are married), but she seems so jaded- she’s 34 not 64!!! I wonder if she was serious about someone in a love match and got stomped on in a big way (they cheated and impregnated someone or gave her an STI). There’s a coldness to her that’s not just about a disinterest in sex. And plenty of asexual people want to get married. 

[ErinV]

On 7/21/2020 at 7:04 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Every time he wrinkled his nose and fumbled around for an excuse for not meeting a girl I'd just yell "BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY! OWN IT!"

I'm jumping ahead because I haven't seen the whole thing yet but I love Nadia and hope things work out for her. Her first date was such a dull, insufferable prig, and Vinay is a jerk. He apparently either bent to pressure from his parents or does not understand the purpose of a matchmaker. Why didn't he just do Tinder if he just wanted to date? Feh. 

I cannot wait to see how things shake out for full of herself Aparna. Dear me, who can survive a conversation with her? "I love being a lawyer!" "Ew, really?" "I enjoy the beach" "Yuck, what do you do on a beach all day?" "I'd love to visit South Africa!" "Oh. Well. South Africa is terrible". I realize that some of her attitude is defensive to avoid being hurt but that girl is a mess. She needs therapy. If I worked with her and saw her coming down the hall I'd run in the other direction. Being in her negative presence would wreck my day. 

Agreed! They were adorable. 

I will be back once I'm caught up! Yay! My people! 

Agree.  I felt so bad for the two guys on dates with Aparna, esp the second one. 
Yes, I think Auntie needs to find some boys for Pradhyuman 

[Scarlett45]

On 7/23/2020 at 8:52 AM, Neurochick said:

Speaking of colorism, I have an issue with Viyakar  He said that he'd dated only white women in the past, but NOW that he's getting married he wants to marry an Indian woman.  Does that mean he's more attracted to white women?  If no, that won't bode well for him and the Indian woman he marries.  I once knew a young man who liked Puerto Rican women.  His family was like "NO, you marry an Irish girl."  So he did, had two kids, divorced her a few years later (he did what his family wanted) and guess what?  You got it, he married a Puerto Rican girl.   

Yeah I could see that happening. Marrying and procreating with an Indian woman so your children will be Indian and be raised with an Indian extended family and leaving her for the type of woman he really wants- if not leaving a very messy affair. It happens more than you think. 

[Scarlett45]

On 7/23/2020 at 8:06 AM, EarlGreyTea said:

Nadia reminds me exactly of my cousin, God bless them both. Both are gorgeous, great job, nice hobbies,  very bubbly, but for some reason ooze desperation and overcompensate. So even though both Nadia and my cousin get a huge amount of attention from men, suitors are either not serious or are put off by said desperation. It pains me to write that. But how else to explain why Nadia, who is the total package, remains single?

I know a woman like this. Beautiful, educated, intelligent, friendly, 43 and unmarried. She says she has to marry another Muslim Palestinian man- okay but she won’t consider a match maker. Wouldn’t consider a widower, wouldn’t consider this and wouldn’t consider that. I don’t think Nadia is at that point yet, but it could be she has some emotional things to work though. Beautiful women may get approached more but relationships are hard. AND she’s trying to meet someone with her similar heritage- that narrows the pool significantly. 

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

And if you're interested in seeing what happens once a wedding happens, I recommend Made In Heaven on Amazon Prime.  It's primarily about two friends (one gay, one straight and married) who run a wedding planning business in New Dehli.  Pretty much each episode of the first season (there will be a second at some point) focuses on a couple getting married and each wedding/marriage tackles a different social issue from Indian society. (Or at least I assume so as I know little about Indian society and the creators do).

I can’t read- you said it was on amazon prime. That one was on my list!

[Scarlett45]

On 7/23/2020 at 8:52 AM, Neurochick said:

I do think that Pradhyuman has no interest in getting married right now.  I think a lot of the young people don't want to get married when their parents want them to.  That said, I don't feel sorry for Akshay.  Sure his mother is tough, but he's living in HER house.  He may be the type of person who, if his mother said, "whatever you want" would sit there and not get married and then become resentful at age 40 that he didn't get married young.  Akshay's mom knows her child.

I agree that Pradhyuman has NO interested in getting married. You don’t meet 150 ppl through a match maker and not chose one if you want to get married. I agree that he could be gay, he could be interested in playing the field, he could be asexual or aromantic. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Pradhyuman is in love with himself!

[Neurochick]

14 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Pradhyuman is in love with himself!

And that's why I really don't see him being gay.  I think Pradhyuman thinks he's the hottest person around, no one is hotter than him.  I also think he's seriously colorist.  The last woman he was set up with had VERY fair skin; I didn't think she was all that but he did.  He rejects all of those women because he feels that none of them are as hot as he is.

[sugarbaker design]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

And that's why I really don't see him being gay. 

I don't either, he's callow and egotistical.  The "pinging my gaydar" posts annoyed.  One source defines gaydar as 'the putative ability to discern the homosexuality of others", not ascribing pernicious gay stereotypes.

[Kiss my mutt]

Not gonna lie, but I wondered if he might be gay too. 

[Oosala]

On 7/22/2020 at 6:33 PM, Angeleyes said:

Has anyone seen the documentary Sima Auntie was a part of called An Appropriate Girl? There is a short trailer for the documentary on YouTube, but she does not appear in those 2 minutes. I’m hoping Netflix will add the documentary soon. 

It's on Amazon Prime.  I just finished watching it.  Five stars!

[Neurochick]

5 hours ago, Oosala said:

It's on Amazon Prime.  I just finished watching it.  Five stars!

I didn't find that on Amazon Prime.  But what I did find was a crazy show called "Four More Shots Please."  An Indian Sex and the City.  I love it!  There are a few matchmaking scenes in it as well.