S12.E08: If You Can't Take the Heat, Get Out of the Russian Bath House

[Chicklet]

I think Dorinda is just showing us her usually cloaked selfishness and pettiness, not to mention a lot of immaturity. If you can't not explode over every single perceived slight, you might be in need of some medication and a therapist. A real therapist mind you not a bowling-shirted chiropractor with some "life coach" inclinations. He probably has a printed out "certification" for that which is on par with a certain Sister Wife's "health" thingy.

And possibly an unpopular opinion- Blue Stone Manor looks like a posse of clowns threw up all over it.

[sasha206]

2 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I have a couple of things in common with Dorinda, our age and the fact that we married men 14 yrs our senior.  I'm wondering if her concentrated angst over Sir Richard has to do with her age at the time she became widowed.  She was 46 or so, so very young to be a widow, and have her lifestyle sort of ripped from her.  Not her monetary life necessarily, but the circles they traveled in, the people they hung with etc.  He was likely the draw in that relationship, lol.

My life changed rather dramatically when I was in my 50's as well (I'm 60 now), my husband developed several illnesses which have made him all-but housebound, I'm unable to work so I can care for him and my mother, and so finances are stretched, and blah blah blah.  I've taken my turn at playing Bitter Betty on more than one occasion, though I'm getting less so with time.  She didn't really have time to adjust if his illness was short-lived and his death rather sudden.

Anyway, not certain she would have handled things any better if she had been a more traditionally-aged widow, but it could be a factor. 

Sorry about your hubby!  That sounds tough.

The thing about Dorinda though is it's been 9 years since his death.  I don't think she should be able to pull out the widow card to get her out of obnoxious behavior.  Not that she can't still mourn, but IMO she's using every excuse she can to justify her drinking and the obnoxiousness that follows.  

I do think she misses the lifestyle and being able to move in circles she likely no longer can.  He brought her prestige.  RHONY gives her reality celeb creed and gives her some more $, but unless she's donating big $ to someone's campaign, she no longer is invited to hang with the big wigs like she did with Richard.

 

[Anne Thrax]

This episode should have been titled "Dorinda Is An Extremely Sick Individual".  Seriously, the whole episode was nothing but example after example of Dorinda delighting in tearing down another human being who's done absolutely nothing to deserve it.  She needs hospitalization.  Not even kidding.

[Anne Thrax]

On 5/21/2020 at 11:36 PM, film noire said:

 

I usually agree with you, Red,  but I have to say, I like Tinsley for reasons that have nothing to do with Dorinda being a mean, slobber-jawed drunk.

I like Tinsley's keep-it-proper manners and her pasta bowl at the ready, even as she sleeps one off. I like that the woman who cooed over her dog Bambi also got her ass on a plane to China to rescue two dogs from the dog meat market in China.  I like that Tinsley is beyond ready to throttle her mother (just about every time Dale turns up)  but there's some core deceny in Tinsley that refuses to let loose just for ratings & social media rah-rah "you go, girl" bullshit.

I like her past - the  art history degree from Columbia, her work with Habitat for Humanity in her early twenties, her ability to mock her mugshot -  and I love her all-too-rare play-it-under delivery.  It's why her comment about "sharing" set Dorinda off in two seconds. Just an under-her-breath comment, but Dorinda  - forever she of the corn kernel stuck to her greasy lip, witlessly ranting at Heather (because Dorinda's bullying goes back years, long before Tinsley, Drunk Dorinda's Designated Victim, turned up) Drunk Do knew what it meant: Tinsley had been paying attention to Dorinda's bullshit hypocrisy,  and was serving it back with a pretty little mint sprig. Dorinda lost her shit (again) but ended up the loser, because not all wins involve rage-fueled insults; some wins keep you intact to live the real life that happens when reel life stops filming. 

About the only thing I don't like about Tinsley is she doesn't realize Dorinda is a dismissable, abusive little shit with no redeeming qualities beyond the fleeting entertainment value of a cheap sideshow;  drunken insults and fake tits offered up for random  inspection  - SO SOFT!! HE NEVER KNEW!! I FOOLED MY DEAD ONE-PERCENTER HUSBAND! - the eternal class act every member of the Council on Foreign Relations is searching for. 

 

Congrats Film Noire - nobody has said it better!  (Abusive little shit - LOL!!)  I'd give this a thousand hearts if I could.

I love how Tinsley always keeps her language ladylike and refuses to get down in the mud despite the fires of hell breathed on her by the hose beast that is (and I suspect always was) Dorinda.

[Anne Thrax]

On 5/22/2020 at 8:39 AM, Mar said:

Dorinda was married to Richard for 9 (?) years and was never honest with him about her breast implants???? Isn’t honesty and important part of a healthy relationship?

Richard has been dead for 9 years.  Dorinda and Richard were married in October 2005.  He died in November 2011.  The marriage lasted six years and one month.

[SuprSuprElevated]

3 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Sorry about your hubby!  That sounds tough.

The thing about Dorinda though is it's been 9 years since his death.  I don't think she should be able to pull out the widow card to get her out of obnoxious behavior.  Not that she can't still mourn, but IMO she's using every excuse she can to justify her drinking and the obnoxiousness that follows.  

I do think she misses the lifestyle and being able to move in circles she likely no longer can.  He brought her prestige.  RHONY gives her reality celeb creed and gives her some more $, but unless she's donating big $ to someone's campaign, she no longer is invited to hang with the big wigs like she did with Richard.

 

Thanks for your kindness, hope it didn't sound like I was fishing for sympathy, I wasn't.  Anyway, my next door neighbor was widowed about 25 years ago, when she was in her 50's, due to an horrific automobile accident, and I can tell you that she still hasn't recovered.  They were together about twice as long as D & R, but still.  Some people (women mostly, I find that men recover much quicker in general) just never recover from the loss of a spouse, especially for reasons other than an age-related, "natural" occurence.

[Hiyo]

Quote

The thing about Dorinda though is it's been 9 years since his death.  I don't think she should be able to pull out the widow card to get her out of obnoxious behavior.  Not that she can't still mourn, but IMO she's using every excuse she can to justify her drinking and the obnoxiousness that follows. 

Yeah, Dorinda can mourn Richard's death however long she wants to...but using it to excuse lashing out against others is all sorts of wrong. Especially when it is lashing at someone and something unprovoked.

[SuprSuprElevated]

4 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Blue Stone Manor looks like a posse of clowns threw up all over it.

Willing to be pressed into service - 

[sasha206]

14 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Thanks for your kindness, hope it didn't sound like I was fishing for sympathy, I wasn't.  Anyway, my next door neighbor was widowed about 25 years ago, when she was in her 50's, due to an horrific automobile accident, and I can tell you that she still hasn't recovered.  They were together about twice as long as D & R, but still.  Some people (women mostly, I find that men recover much quicker in general) just never recover from the loss of a spouse, especially for reasons other than an age-related, "natural" occurence.

No not at all!  I mention the loss of my husband at times on this board, mostly just for the "been through it" experience. And I like when people share their own experiences as well!

Yeah, I think it does hit men harder.  I used to always say that I hope my mom outlives my dad (and she did). He would've been miserable.  She actually thrived on her own.

[film noire]

9 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I have a couple of things in common with Dorinda, our age and the fact that we married men 14 yrs our senior. (snip just for space)

 

[SuprSuprElevated]

8 minutes ago, film noire said:

 

Aw, bless your heart.  Thanks.  We'll get through it.  

[Chicklet]

3 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Willing to be pressed into service - 

I was thinking more Ringling Brothers ( as I dated a clown in my misspent youth-shiver) but ICP will do!

[eleanorofaquitaine]

12 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I have a couple of things in common with Dorinda, our age and the fact that we married men 14 yrs our senior.  I'm wondering if her concentrated angst over Sir Richard has to do with her age at the time she became widowed.  She was 46 or so, so very young to be a widow, and have her lifestyle sort of ripped from her.  Not her monetary life necessarily, but the circles they traveled in, the people they hung with etc.  He was likely the draw in that relationship, lol.

My life changed rather dramatically when I was in my 50's as well (I'm 60 now), my husband developed several illnesses which have made him all-but housebound, I'm unable to work so I can care for him and my mother, and so finances are stretched, and blah blah blah.  I've taken my turn at playing Bitter Betty on more than one occasion, though I'm getting less so with time.  She didn't really have time to adjust if his illness was short-lived and his death rather sudden.

Anyway, not certain she would have handled things any better if she had been a more traditionally-aged widow, but it could be a factor. 

My parents were married 25 years - my mother was only 48 when my father died (he was 51). She has four kids, one of whom was only 7 at the time when my father passed.  She made sure we all completed college, launched ourselves into careers, families, etc.  She was (and is) our rock.  What she didn't do is become a cruel human being who said mean things whenever someone even slightly criticized her.

Dorinda's problems - and her obsession with how important Richard made her feel - have little to do with how old she was when she became a widow. They have everything to do with who she is at her core.  I mean, we can look at Carole Radziwill to see another example of a person who didn't become a cruel narcissist even though her high-profile, well-connected husband also died prematurely. Carole wasn't perfect, but she wasn't Dorinda, either. 

[Stats Queen]

1 hour ago, Chicklet said:

I was thinking more Ringling Brothers ( as I dated a clown in my misspent youth-shiver) but ICP will do!

That that sounds like a good story!!

[SuprSuprElevated]

42 minutes ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

My parents were married 25 years - my mother was only 48 when my father died (he was 51). She has four kids, one of whom was only 7 at the time when my father passed.  She made sure we all completed college, launched ourselves into careers, families, etc.  She was (and is) our rock.  What she didn't do is become a cruel human being who said mean things whenever someone even slightly criticized her.

Dorinda's problems - and her obsession with how important Richard made her feel - have little to do with how old she was when she became a widow. They have everything to do with who she is at her core.  I mean, we can look at Carole Radziwill to see another example of a person who didn't become a cruel narcissist even though her high-profile, well-connected husband also died prematurely. Carole wasn't perfect, but she wasn't Dorinda, either. 

You're probably right, as I stated at the end of my post, it may not have made a difference.  Just putting a thought into the discussion.

[Hiyo]

Quote

Carole wasn't perfect, but she wasn't Dorinda, either. 

Yeah, Carole certainly dealt with the death of her spouse a heck of a lot better.

I wonder if also because Carole still has some contacts and is still friends with some of the people from when her husband was still alive?

[sasha206]

15 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

Dorinda's problems - and her obsession with how important Richard made her feel - have little to do with how old she was when she became a widow. They have everything to do with who she is at her core.  I mean, we can look at Carole Radziwill to see another example of a person who didn't become a cruel narcissist even though her high-profile, well-connected husband also died prematurely. Carole wasn't perfect, but she wasn't Dorinda, either. 

Yes to this!  Carole also had some great journo creed and wrote a highly praised book.  What really has Dorinda done except latch onto a dry cleaner she seems to loathe only (as she claimed) to get free dry cleaning and the clothing people didn't claim?  I mean she's bragged about Princess Diana buying her DCL cashmere but if you look on the internet, other than Dorinda talking about DCL, there's pretty much nothing about it.  If this was such a successful business, why did it dissolve?  Why didn't she sell it the company?  I suspect DCL was funded by her first wealthy husband, was a vanity project that never really took off.  Maybe Princess Diana wore it, but there's zero on the internet I can find of PD wearing her creation.  If she did, I guess no one knew it b/c it seemingly would've been a more successful brand if endorsed by PD.   I guess it's possible DCL was dissolved before the internet took off and became a staple in homes in 1992? Still I bet this was a vanity project that she never really profited off of.

So Dorinda's lifestyle of hanging with political royalty is due to Richard's career not anything she created on her own.

Edited May 29, 2020 by sasha206

[Anne Thrax]

On 5/24/2020 at 2:54 AM, film noire said:

 

I think Tinsley was talking about comfort food, and how the things we eat as children stay with us as touchstones.  Even though her segment was taped awhile back, it struck a nerve with me because in my first round of WTF pandemic food shopping, I reflexively threw things in my cart - peanut butter cups, red licorice, Campbell's tomato soup -  my version of goldfish crackers: something familiar and safe and outside this upside down and six ways to Sunday moment, this uncertain time where nothing can be known except the comforting taste of a food you first had when you were a little girl, allowed to just eat your snack, without being in charge of everything. 

Well said, and I kind of understood too.  But what I don't understand is why in hell she keeps her crackers in the fridge.

[Anne Thrax]

On 5/24/2020 at 1:08 PM, ChitChat said:

Sadly, Dorinda can't read between the lines and figure these kinds of things out.  They want to be critical of Tinsley's Mom, but they don't want to ask her how it makes her feel when her Mom is so overbearing.  It's not Tinsley's fault that her mother is that way.  If Dorinda wants some deeper understanding of Tinsley, you'd think that she'd gently ask her how she feels about the way her Mom treats her, but Dorinda is the bull in the china shop in the social etiquette department.  She has gone from fun and quirky to being mean and bitchy.  

I never found her to be fun/quirky and except for a few mildly clever things she said in her first season on the show, I couldn't understand the attraction this intentionally abrasive ("not well bitch") and downright cruel woman held for so many HW fans.  But she IS ruining the show now.

[Hiyo]

Quote

But what I don't understand is why in hell she keeps her crackers in the fridge.

Maybe she just prefers them cold?

Quote

She has gone from fun and quirky to being mean and bitchy.  

Yeah, that sums up my view of Dorinda as well.

[Anne Thrax]

On 5/27/2020 at 11:14 AM, sasha206 said:

That makes me think that Richard wanted it to go on the market b/c he felt Dorinda wouldn't be able to handle the house on her own after his death?  He was a financial guy and must've known that his wealth would get distributed to his children in addition to Dorinda and w/o his earnings, he knew the upkeep of the house would be too much for her?

It sounds like his death may have been fairly quick -- maybe he fell ill, diagnosed with liver failure then died shortly after the diagnosis?  Like maybe when he found out he convinced Dorinda to sell.  He died and the house was too much of sentimental value to Dorinda so she took it off the market?

Also, this is probably not a good thing to speculate, but liver failure...alcholics have liver issues.

I think Richard dying of liver failure embarrassed Dorinda and that's why she did what she could to hide it (such as his obituary - it was silent as to what killed him at a relatively young age) and never spoke a word about his cause of death.  Maybe they were drinking buddies?

 

Edited May 29, 2020 by Anne Thrax

[Anne Thrax]

42 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

Maybe she just prefers them cold?

Yeah, that sums up my view of Dorinda as well.

Well, I thought of that, but once I accidentally put crackers in the fridge when I put the cheese away.  They lost their crunch and became almost soggy overnight.  I never made that mistake again.

[sasha206]

43 minutes ago, Anne Thrax said:

I think Richard dying of liver failure embarrassed Dorinda and that's why she did what she could to hide it (such as his obituary - it was silent as to what killed him at a relative young age) and never spoke a word about his cause of death.  Maybe they were drinking buddies?

 

That's what I'm thinking too.  I understand why it was kept out of the obituary, but for her to be secretive about it for a long time is telling.  

I don't believe Dorinda became an alcoholic b/c of Richard's death.  oh, I mean "almost an alcoholic."  🤣.  I would be that she's been one since she took her first drink.  But when she's happy, she's a fun drunk.  

Edited May 29, 2020 by sasha206

[Hiyo]

Maybe she prefers them cold AND soggy then? lol

[Anne Thrax]

3 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

Maybe she prefers them cold AND soggy then? lol

Could be - maybe Dale kept them in the fridge and served them to her cold and soggy. 😄

[Chicklet]

Nobody knows why Richard died? There are many causes of liver failure from cirrhosis from alcohol, NASH, Wilson's disease, and the list goes on. If he wasn't an alcoholic I'd think Dorinda would be on the bandwagon forming a charity to educate the public about the disease. Well, women who aren't nuts might do that.

[RedDelicious]

On 5/29/2020 at 7:53 PM, Chicklet said:

Nobody knows why Richard died? There are many causes of liver failure from cirrhosis from alcohol, NASH, Wilson's disease, and the list goes on. If he wasn't an alcoholic I'd think Dorinda would be on the bandwagon forming a charity to educate the public about the disease. Well, women who aren't nuts might do that.

It could have been liver cancer, which can be silent and can move fast, and when you’re fighting it, it isn’t pretty. If it had metastasized, he would have been in bad shape. 

Carole’s book What Remains tells you how they handled cancer and lived with the disease and what it was like in the end when Anthony died. It breaks your heart.

I would venture to guess that it was kept quiet to protect the kids at the time, because they were still somewhat young, 14 to 16ish, but old enough to understand that something very bad was happening. It’s a lot to process to begin with and then there’s the actual physical appearance of a person battling liver cancer, beyond jaundice, primarily because it is in the abdominal area.

[RedDelicious]

But the reason I had returned to this thread was to comment on Ramona and her decolletage talk!! I had a tube of Gold Bond neck and chest cream that I used a couple of times and forgot about, and then when Ramona was saying Sonja's chest is crepey, I got it out of the drawer and started using it again. It actually works 😲 I'm a side sleeper and I developed these weird diagonal lines on my chest. They're gone and my skin looks nice and smooth (I'm in my mid-40s). Kadooz Gold Bond!

[geauxaway]

7 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

But the reason I had returned to this thread was to comment on Ramona and her decolletage talk!! I had a tube of Gold Bond neck and chest cream that I used a couple of times and forgot about, and then when Ramona was saying Sonja's chest is crepey, I got it out of the drawer and started using it again. It actually works 😲 I'm a side sleeper and I developed these weird diagonal lines on my chest. They're gone and my skin looks nice and smooth (I'm in my mid-40s). Kadooz Gold Bond!

I’m going to need to check that out.  I have the same issues developing (also same age range as you).  Weird question but does the Gold Bond smell ok?  All I can think of is the men’s powder version so I have an association issue clearly.  But if it works like you say, I’m interested!

[RedDelicious]

17 minutes ago, geauxaway said:

I’m going to need to check that out.  I have the same issues developing (also same age range as you).  Weird question but does the Gold Bond smell ok?  All I can think of is the men’s powder version so I have an association issue clearly.  But if it works like you say, I’m interested!

It does smell okay! Actually to be more accurate, it doesn't really smell like anything. It's not labeled fragrance free or unscented, but there isn't any scent that I can discern. It's from the Ultimate line, not the Medicated line, so no old man stink 😁 And it's not greasy either.

[SuprSuprElevated]

8 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

It could have been liver cancer, which can be silent and can move fast, and when you’re fighting it, it isn’t pretty. If it had metastasized, he would have been in bad shape. 

Just this year a neighbor died of liver & bile duct cancer.  He was diagnosed less than six months before his death.

[RedDelicious]

16 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Just this year a neighbor died of liver & bile duct cancer.  He was diagnosed less than six months before his death.

I’m so sorry 😔

[lightninggirl]

On 5/21/2020 at 9:50 PM, Straycat80 said:

LOL at Sonja, laying on the buzzer and ‘here’s your dress Ramona, it’s a LARGE’. 

Ramona needed some serious shapewear in that red dress. We could see the saucer of a bellybutton in that thing. Lord have mercy.

[SuprSuprElevated]

3 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

I’m so sorry 😔

Thanks.  We were not prepared.  His widow is fairing pretty well.

[RealHousewife]

On 5/25/2020 at 8:16 AM, Hiyo said:

Like when she was at Ramona's gathering and was performing to Ramona's friends (really, what other word is there besides performing?), trying to get them to see how horrible Ramona was, and none of Ramona's friends took the bait? A few of them even had a look of "Bitch, do you really think I'm going to turn on Ramona and start agreeing with you?"

Sonja was just as bad, trying to to get back at Ramona with the dress ("I got you the LARGE size because the MEDIUM wouldn't fit you so here is the LARGE dress that might fit you because the MEDIUM won't fit you but the MEDIUM fits me because I am a size MEDIUM and I can wear the MEDIUM size but you can't Ramona because you are a size LARGE!").

I wouldn't be surprised if Sonja and Dorinda planned it out in advance.

An enigma wrapped in a bully, wrapped in a mean drunk...and I say this as someone who genuinely really liked Dorinda.

Sonja has rubbed me the wrong way with how she speaks to/about Tinsley, but I still find her to be far nicer than Ramona. Sonja mentioned Ramona fat shaming her, so I think that's where those dress comments came from. I don't think Sonja typically puts down the other women's looks. Ramona on the other hand has made cruel comments about the other women's breasts, them looking older than their age, her looking younger than her age, etc.