Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat

[Js Nana]

On 10/9/2023 at 3:57 PM, TVForever said:

I guess we're waiting for a shoe to drop where Diane's concerned

Considering that Diane's already started a stealth campaign to plant seeds of distrust in Jack's mind about Billy and Ashley's loyalty to Jabot (Traci gets a pass because she's too innocuous to worry about) as part of her master plan to become a major force within the company and secure the keys to Jabot for her descendants, the only question is will Jack get wise to her machinations, or will he go on being a fool for love?

[boes]

4 hours ago, Js Nana said:

Considering that Diane's already started a stealth campaign to plant seeds of distrust in Jack's mind about Billy and Ashley's loyalty to Jabot (Traci gets a pass because she's too innocuous to worry about) as part of her master plan to become a major force within the company and secure the keys to Jabot for her descendants, the only question is will Jack get wise to her machinations, or will he go on being a fool for love?

I have to disagree with you there.  Diane may - naturally, IMO, be pushing for her son to play a major role at Jabot - but she didn't plant any seeds in Jack's mind about Billy's disloyalty and general fuckupetry at work as well as everywhere else.  All she did was remind Jack to see the forest of ButtBiscuit's assholishness for the endless landscape of trees it is.

From embezzling from the company, to buying that silly yacht, Jaboat, to sleeping with Jack's wife and then, mocking him for it, and generally treating him with contempt for years, that's all down to ButtBiscuit.  Diane doesn't have to do a thing.

Jack may be a fool for love but his baby brother has traded on that and done more damage to him and company than Diane or anyone else can even come close to doing.

Except for Ashley.  She's tried to cut Jack out more times and I can count and mostly for reasons almost as lame as ButtBiscuit's.

Pointing out to Jack that ButtBiscuit is a traitorous fuckup is like telling Jack the sun comes up in the morning.  It's no surprise.

Edited October 11, 2023 by boes

[Js Nana]

4 hours ago, boes said:

I have to disagree with you there.

Mark my words, boes, Diane is a woman with a plan and no matter what Billy or Ashley do to try to prove their loyalty to the family, she's going to find a way to undermine them - she wants everything Abbott to be about her, Jack and Kyle and will do everything she can to have Billy and Ashley permanently banished, including from the house and grounds.

[NinjaPenguins]

Billy’s and Ashley’s inability to prove their loyalty to Jack is down to their poor choices over the years. If “Hey, remember when chucklenuts really did embezzle money and fuck your crazy wife? LOL!” is a stealth campaign, sign me up to be the campaign manager! Sadly, in the face of all Billy’s bullshit, Jack remains naively loyal to him. 

[MollyB]

On 10/9/2023 at 7:27 PM, Js Nana said:

Billy's expression throughout the whole ridiculous affair...

...was pretty much mine.  So many things I didn't understand:

• Why was Nikki there ( or Sharon for that matter)?  Why bring her new assistant and then laboriously, sneeringly explain who's party they were at and who were all the players involved?  Does Claire really give a fuck?
• If Sharon was there just so we could get the drama about who Dummer is hankering after now, then it failed.  Sharon just looked like a mom dragging her baby away from the town bicycle.
• Who only has one security guy for a party that at least two people are suspected of crashing?  Did they think Tucker and Phylth were going to show up together at the front door?  No one secured the back gate to the garden?  Do these people not understand electronic security?  Or did Audra slip by when Tucker and gift box was being not-thrown-out? 

So that takes care of Monday.  Tuesday was such a snooze fest. I don't care what happens with the Dollar Store bonzai. Hope it turns into Groot-at least that's entertaining. Serves Tucker right if all he gets to listen to is Jack wax poetic about the undying love he and Diane have.  Or listen to Diane and Traci do their Pollyanna Duet about the New World Order of Love and Forgiveness.

I did get overly curious as to what was on Kyle's arm (they could have put him on the other side of the bed-just sayin).  Was that makeup covering a tat or was it a tat removed?  Whatever, it was gross.

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks Mamie is a little over the top.  The first Mamie was who I remember and I liked her.  Didn't take Nate long to attach himself to her, did it?  He's such a suck up.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Quote

Sharon just looked like a mom dragging her baby away from the town bicycle.

Heh, between Summer and Sharon, I'm not sure Summer's the one I'd call the town bike. Name one guy currently on the show who Sharon hasn't slept with. Well, okay, four: Kyle, Daniel, Nate, and Devon. Summer's way behind Sharon's record, even allowing for their age difference. And Chance is fairly chaste compared to both of those heaux, poor guy. 🤠

 

[boes]

8 hours ago, Js Nana said:

Mark my words, boes, Diane is a woman with a plan and no matter what Billy or Ashley do to try to prove their loyalty to the family, she's going to find a way to undermine them - she wants everything Abbott to be about her, Jack and Kyle and will do everything she can to have Billy and Ashley permanently banished, including from the house and grounds.

After all those two have pulled, Jack shouldn't need to be reminded that any loyalty they may have at any given moment is either a ruse or transactional, at best.  Something shinier will come along, or they'll feel Jack has disrespecte them in some way, or just for the hell of it, they'll do their best to stab him in the back.  Those two wrote the script for backstabbing.

As for them being banned from the house and grounds.....Be still, my heart!!   Besides, I'm nowhere near convinced ButtBiscuit is even housebroken.

[TVForever]

Show needs to give Tucker something else to do besides spending every waking moment coming up with ways to get back at the Abbotts; running around town snarling and blackmailing people. I'm waiting for Wardrobe to give him a moustache to start twirling. It's getting tiresome. I liked him better as the mischievous rogue who could get under people's skin. That Tucker was fun.

And don't even get me started on his pimping out Audra as part of his plans. And her apparent willingness to be pimped out. Just no to all of that...

[stewedsquash]

I wonder if Claire’s zomgTraci!fanning will lead to anything.

[pvandal]

Danny, you can correct Phyllis (or us) as much as you want…but Cricket will always be The Bug. 🐜

[rcc]

47 minutes ago, pvandal said:

Danny, you can correct Phyllis (or us) as much as you want…but Cricket will always be The Bug. 🐜

Before my time watching the show. Why is she called Cricket and/or Bug?

[Joimiaroxeu]

Hey, I liked Audra's outfit. Can't beat simple black & white.

Bugging somebody's home is shady but I kinda liked Tucker having the literal inside track on the Abbotts. Strange it took him this long to run that play.

Dominic is still in a stroller. Seems to me he'd be way too big now but perhaps he inherited his daddy's height-challenged gene. 😼

It be great if someone could explain to me why Danny is in GC. He acts like he's Phyllis' self-appointed life monitor, stalking her around town to give her unheeded advice.

Stop running your mouth, Tucker. Telling Phyllis you had "eyes and ears" all over GC is why Jack quickly figured out the real purpose of the gifted bonsai. Your latest ploy lasted less than 24 hours.

Jeebus cripes, Diane, who Kyle sleeps with is none of your business! Shut up!

Devon, you have exactly zero proof Tucker is in cahoots with Mamie to take over C/W. It makes no sense. When have Mamie and Tucker ever rolled together like that? 🤔

But oy, wait until Devon finds out about Tucker trying to spy on the Abbotts. Bet Billy will risk breaking the space-time continuum to run and tell Devon.

Edited October 11, 2023 by Joimiaroxeu

[Js Nana]

44 minutes ago, rcc said:

Why is she called Cricket and/or Bug?

According to the character's Wikipedia entry, the character of "Christine( Blair) Romalotti Williams" (Lauralee Bell) was introduced in 1983 as" Cricket Blair" a teenaged model for Jabot Cosmetics and the niece of Jabot Cosmetics photographer "Joe Blair" (John Denos), and according to a July 2020 entry in Soaps.com's message board posted by YR_Forever82, "Cricket" was the name of a friend of Lauralee Bell's - - there's a post on this same website posted by DAW234 in August of 2020 that some of the anti-Christine crowd might find amusing: "Cricket. The Bug. Cockroach. All annoying and won’t die or otherwise go away."

[Js Nana]

2 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

I wonder if Claire’s zomgTraci!fanning will lead to anything.

There's gotta be some reason why this character suddenly showed up, I'm just hoping it's a really big, fat, juicy one -  and I have to say that Hayley Erin looks like she's having a great time playing her, probably because this isn't her first time on Y&R, since she took over the character of "Abby Newman" from Darcy Rose Byrnes in 2008 when the show decided to rapid-age the character from an 8-year-old to a teenager, only to be replaced by Emme Rylan in 2010 when the show decided to rapid-age the character to an adult. 

[Js Nana]

Kyle's response when Diane chastised him for staying out all night and not being there when Harrison woke up should have been: "Well, mommy dearest, it's not like I let him believe I was dead when I wasn't, is it." - - maybe I could say that Diane's trying to dictate her adult son's behavior was just so much trying to make up for not having been there for him when he truly needed her, but, in all honesty, I can only see it as one more example of her need to establish dominance.

[Js Nana]

49 minutes ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

Dominic is still in a stroller. Seems to me he'd be way too big now but perhaps he inherited his daddy's height-challenged gene.

I think Abby and Devon give Dominic sleeping pills to put him out of commission long enough for them to have some alone time - - I also think that's what Nick does to Christian so he can spend hours and hours shagging Sally - - I also think that Katie and Johnny finally had enough of their parents neglect and ran away from school to find a family that cares, but Victoria's been so pre-occupied with her Electra complex, shagging Natie-pooh, and downing a quart of single-malt Scotch a day, that she hasn't found time to answer the urgent messages from the school.

[lilabennet]

1 hour ago, Js Nana said:

I think Abby and Devon give Dominic sleeping pills to put him out of commission long enough for them to have some alone time - - I also think that's what Nick does to Christian so he can spend hours and hours shagging Sally - - I also think that Katie and Johnny finally had enough of their parents neglect and ran away from school to find a family that cares, but Victoria's been so pre-occupied with her Electra complex, shagging Natie-pooh, and downing a quart of single-malt Scotch a day, that she hasn't found time to answer the urgent messages from the school.

I think you're giving Nick too much credit.

[Chatty Cake]

Who suggested the Abbott’s put the bonsai tree in the bathroom? That would be great for Tucker to hear the Abbott’s singing in the loo. 
Kyle - while fixing his hair, “ the higher the hair, the closer to God”
Diane - “and I am a material girl”. 
Traci - “”it’s a beautiful morning”   
Billy- “cause you got to know when to hold ‘em”.  
Jack - “ I like big butts and I cannot lie” 

They could really torture the bastard if thy just tried.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Quote

Who suggested the Abbott’s put the bonsai tree in the bathroom? That would be great for Tucker to hear the Abbott’s singing in the loo. 

Sounds good.

Quote

Kyle - while fixing his hair, “ the higher the hair, the closer to God”

Yep.

Quote

Diane - “and I am a material girl”. 
Traci - “”it’s a beautiful morning”   

Tee hee.

Quote

Billy- “cause you got to know when to hold ‘em”.  

Of course.

Quote

Jack - “ I like big butts and I cannot lie” 

[One Tough Cookie]

On 10/10/2023 at 7:07 PM, Gam2 said:

I’m not a genius by any means but the first thought I had when I saw the gift box from Tucker is that whateThat'sretericalver was in there was bugged. How stupid can the Abbotts be?

That question is rhetorical,, amirite?

[Js Nana]

1 hour ago, lilabennet said:

you're giving Nick too much credit.

I forgot to add that Nick has a two-hour refractory period, longer if he's had corn beef on rye beforehand, which is OK with Sally because it gives her time to do her yoga exercises.

[Js Nana]

On 10/9/2023 at 6:31 PM, Chatty Cake said:

Why would Nikki even be invited to the vow renewal?

I guess Jack just wanted ex-wife #3 and ex-wife #6, Sharon, around so he could torture them by declaring his undying love for Diane in their presence - of course if Jack had also declared his undying love for each of them when they married him, then one would have to assume that Jack Abbott is one, big fickle SOB.

[crowsworks]

On 10/6/2023 at 7:02 PM, Joimiaroxeu said:

\

Wait, what? Why was Sharon invited to the vow renewal? AND WHY DID SHE BRING CHANCE AS HER PLUS ONE? This heifer better not be trying to rub Summer's nose in it. Grrr.

] 🤯😮😱 ????

Could dhe rub dummer's nose in a dirty diapper? Chance doesn't need another princess but a mature cushy place to land, (until she gets back with Nick anyway) for lots of FUN.

[NinjaPenguins]

I miss two days, two friggin’ days, and the bugged bonsai saga is already over? Am I to understand that Tucker’s nefarious espionage effort has crashed and burned just like that? I was looking forward to weeks of bonsai related content, concluding with Jack’s romantic moonlight proposal to the tree.

[MsMalin]

Why is the current trend to start a storyline and end it 2 days later? We just can't have nice things can we?

I guess they are trading Dom early on to be a lazy ass spoiled brat. I think k he is at least 2+ years old. No kid that age sleeps in a baby stroller. He would be in one of those strollers that you sit in IF you aren't running around like a crazy person. I swear they are having this kid age backwards.

Dom at age 16:

Edited October 12, 2023 by MsMalin

[Gam2]

Nick is wearing a sweater and suede jacket. Vicki is wearing a halter top dress like it’s July in Key West. WTH?

[TVForever]

Okay, are we gearing up to a reveal that Claire is related to Nikki somehow? Claire keeps talking about the great aunt who raised her; today Nikki mentions her  sister, and Claire "shuts down".

Ruh-roh...

Nikki and Paul's unknown granddaughter, raised by Great Aunt Casey?

A little far-fetched, I know, but I do think there is some connection to Nikki's past.

Edited October 12, 2023 by TVForever

[One Tough Cookie]

Megan Markle looked smashing today.  I loved the hair and the dress.

Edited October 12, 2023 by One Tough Cookie

[Js Nana]

5 minutes ago, One Tough Cookie said:

Megab Markle

Who???????

[Js Nana]

1 hour ago, TVForever said:

I do think there is some connection to Nikki's past.

Makes sense, because why else would she want to be Nikki's assistant - I guess we'll have to wait for the results of Audra's "Claire Grace" web search to find out.

[Js Nana]

2 hours ago, Gam2 said:

Nick is wearing a sweater and suede jacket. Vicki is wearing a halter top dress like it’s July in Key West.

There ya' go, Gam2, tryin' to make sense out of the incongruities that are a hallmark of Y&R - don't you know that kind of thinking is forbidden in GCland? My guess would be that either that dress was all the costume department had available for AH for that day's shooting, or all of Victoria's scenes were shot during warmer weather - either way, it somehow got past the continuity folks, if there are any, that the seasonal differences between the other actors outfits and Victoria's would confuse viewers, because who would believe that anyone would be wearing a summer dress in Wisconsin in October.

[TVForever]

1 hour ago, Js Nana said:

Who???????

Audra

[One Tough Cookie]

1 hour ago, Js Nana said:

Who???????

Megan Markle

[Joimiaroxeu]

Claire's lucky it's not 15 years ago when as a newbie she would've had to meet Victor in the boxing ring. Now all he does is shake hands. 😉

Aw, widdle Nick was in his feelings about The Kiss. Poor baby.

Adam is basically Nate's gofer. He gets points for enthusiasm and commiting to the job but still, WTAF. Such a waste of talent and abilities, IMO.

Ugh, smug Victoria. I don't  know how she manages to smirk so much with all those snakes growing out of her head.

Nick, did you misplace your brain? Sally's so-called honesty about Adam is her way of shifting the blame for her messy tendencies to you.

Audra staring at Claire like, "This smart bish."

I guess Audra and Victoria called each other last night to agree on a color scheme for their outfits today. Victoria's seemed out-of-season to me though. It has to be too chilly in WI to be showing that much skin.

Must say, I think it's impressive the way Nate talks Victoria down when she's on one of her anti-Adam rants. Or when she starts in on Victor demoting her. Victoria is as hard on Nate's patience as she is on his junk.

Nick: Sally, it's not me, it's you. Buh bye.
Sally: Nick, don't! Stop! Don't! Stop! Don't stop!
Adam: is there a shift in the Sally Universe I just sensed?
Christian: yay, maybe my daddy will remember I exist!

Whoa, so much wariness wafting between Claire and Audra. I wonder what the female version of a d!ck-swinging contest is?

Victor may be losing his faculties but he's quick enough to pretend like he called Adam the wrong name on purpose. Hmm.

Edited October 12, 2023 by Joimiaroxeu

[One Tough Cookie]

22 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

Who suggested the Abbott’s put the bonsai tree in the bathroom? That would be great for Tucker to hear the Abbott’s singing in the loo. 
Kyle - while fixing his hair, “ the higher the hair, the closer to God”
Diane - “and I am a material girl”. 
Traci - “”it’s a beautiful morning”   
Billy- “cause you got to know when to hold ‘em”.  
Jack - “ I like big butts and I cannot lie” 

i.am.dead.  Thank you!

[Js Nana]

56 minutes ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

I wonder what the female version of a d!ck-swinging contest is?

None that I know of, why should there be?

[Kemper]

To me, Audra’s “look” seems more Klassy Kim Kardashian. I think it is her hair….and she dresses way better.

[boes]

Hmmm......So Nate wondered if Victor had ever called Adam "Nicholas" before and Adam said that no, he hadn't, that he usually called him either "Adam", or "son" or "my boy" or something more insulting.  

Victor has insulted Adam plenty of times, called him various derogatory things.  I'm sure at one point or another he's called Adam a pillock, a lickspittle, perhaps a ninnyhammer or a hobbledehoy, maybe even a clodhopper or a mooncalf.  Perhaps, Saints perserve us, even a snollygoster.  But this is first time that Victor has EVER gone so low as to call Adam by the ultimate insulting term of "Nicholas".

That should not be allowed to stand.

Gotta love it when Josh Morrow thinks he's doing one of his Emmy reel days.  He put his hands in and out of those pockets of his so many times you'd think he was on a viagra bender.  His lips pouted like 10 Kardashians at a time, his brow furrowed like a 7.2 on the Richter scale and his self-pity could have filled a 2000cc catheter bag to overflowing.

The guy is shoe-in at the next daytime Emmys, a shoe-in.  Josh just better hope they allow velcro as well as actual shoelace entries.

Speculation here, not a spoiler - I've read speculation that Claire Grace might be yet another of Nick's ubiquitous offspring, but god I hope not.  His garage isn't big enough to house one more.  Although this version of Adam seems a bit young for it, maybe Claire is his previously unknown kid?  Maybe Skye had a baby she left with an aunt before she went volcano diving?

Please, though, no more Nick offspring.  He's gonna wear out all his pockets if he ends up with another one.

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by boes

[Snaporaz]

My mom has called me by my brother's name for as long as I can remember, and he's 13 years older than I am and we're absolutely nothing alike.  I'm the cute one 😜.  I seriously doubt EB would allow a dementia story for Victor, and they already did one with Dina, so I'm guessing Victor will be running his paper cranes and Japanese flower arranging play again.  

Doing a search for "Claire Grace" should only get you about 52,000,000 results, Audra.

Edited October 13, 2023 by Snaporaz

[Js Nana]

1 hour ago, Snaporaz said:

I'm guessing Victor will be running his paper cranes and Japanese flower arranging play again

That must be why when Nikki went into Victor's office and asked Victor about his interaction with Adam, that Victor replied, "You mean when I called him Nicholas?", so I'm guessing that this is all part of some test Victor is putting his children through, except for Abby, who seems to be nothing more than an afterthought as far as the Newman's are concerned.

[Waldo13]

Call out the wambulance for Banana Breath. He just can’t accept the fact that Adam kissed Adam. Banana Breath is just one big obnoxious pile of 💩. Talk about being obnoxious, Grouco🥸🥸🥸 is right there with her brother when it comes to Adam.  That whole Banana Breath diatribe about Sally still being in love with Adam is just an excuse for him to move on.  Moving on is what Banana Breath does best.  Sally was just the flavor of the month and she became the same old same old.  

Claire is the prime example of what happens when you don’t go to business school and fly by the seat of your pants.  You get an intuitive way to solve a problem instead of being obstinate in negotiations.  The same holds true for Adam over Groucho🥸🥸🥸.  Groucho🥸🥸🥸’s ego keeps her from seeing that Adam is actually be an asset to NE.  Groucho🥸🥸🥸 why don’t you do your fucking job instead of sitting around and doing nothing?  

Wouldn’t you think that Audra would have done her due diligence on Claire’s background before she was hired?  

Victor calling Adam Nicholas is much to do about nothing. I also be known to call my kids by the wrong name but not intentionally. Victor usually gets the last laugh. 

 

 

[NinjaPenguins]

Nikki: This is my new assistant, Claire Grace.

Victor: Are you a virgin?

Nikki: Ixnay on the irginvay oodblay.

Victor: Your pig Latin is atrocious. I once had a marvelous grasp of the Latin language, k? I have conversed with many popes, usually as I’m being exorcised from a hapless vessel.

Claire: I’m totally honored to be here.

@@@@@@@@@@@

Adam: Nate, I was nearby running those errands you gave me and thought I’d drop some deets on you.

Victoria: Send a text, asshat.

Nate: No, no. I like the enthusiasm for kissing my backside. Please share, Adam.

Adam: Thank you, my liege. By the way, it is amazing how much the loss of your side part has enhanced your swagger. Maybe it was holding you back.

Nate: My thoughts exactly!

Adam: Anyways, I sent your mirrors out to be polished, special ordered that volcanic ball buffing cream from Iceland, rotated your tires and have twenty minutes worth of baby goat videos ready to roll on your iPad. Oh, and the binders. You can’t have a serious meeting without them.

Nate: I’m impressed.

Victoria: Grrrrrr.

@@@@@@@@@@@

Sally: Blah blah blah new company. Blah.

Nick: Whatever.

Sally: I could design your office at Banana Hammocks International.

Nick: Sure.

Sally: Would you like me to install a sex swing for you and Sharon to rock out on?

Nick: Yep.

Sally: You’re not even listening.

Nick: Just noticing that, huh? But I did hear you. You want to swing with Sharon and Chance. I am so down for it. God, he’s handsome.

@@@@@@@@@

Nikki: You made a very good first impression on Victor.

Claire: Gosh, really? Little old me?

Nikki: Oh yes.

Claire: What was that about the blood though?

Nikki: Victor has a very esoteric sense of humor.

Claire: Of course. I read all about the man in business school. I wrote a paper about Newman Enterprises’ acquisitions and his book Mine, Mine, Also Mine was such a huge help.

Nikki: I’m sure my husband would love to have one of his basement gremlins read your paper to him.

Claire: Maybe in a few years.

Nikki: Why don’t you sit down while I go over what kind of boss I am.

Claire: How exciting.

Nikki: I’m very demanding, but fair. I will bite your head off if I find whimsy in it, but it’s nothing personal. I just have fuck you money and cannot be constrained by society’s rules.

Claire: I get it. Fortunately I have a hide like a rhino. I also realize that when people snap at you, it’s more about what an asshole they are than it is about you.

Nikki: Maybe. You should also know that I will be making all your relationship decisions for you. It is imperative you stay away from any and all dick that is not pre-approved by me. I’ll have a list on your desk by noon. If you prefer ladies, I’ll provide a taqueria menu. I will always be very clear about my expectations and demands.

Claire: …

@@@@@@@@@

Adam: My sister is not impressed.

Victoria: Bravo, dickhead, for doing your job.

Adam: What do I have to do to get you into a better mood today?

Victoria: We’ll see how long this nonsense lasts. If you’re behaving, it means you’re up to something.

Adam: Well, that puts me between a rock and a hard place. If I scheme and act out, I get the cold shoulder. If I try to be a good doobie, same thing. I hope we’ll get to a place where you take my words and actions at face value.

Victoria: I’d like to take your words and actions, ball them up real tight and launch them into orbit around Uranus.

Adam: I get it. Very original. Did you borrow that from witty titty Nick? Oh, and have I mentioned that I really like the Halloween costume you’re auditioning today. The black and white cookie from Seinfeld, right?

Victoria: At least my hair stylist doesn’t put misshapen rectangles on my head.

Adam: I’m going to get back to the office. I rented a sloth to keep your chair warm and it probably needs feeding, boss. Ta ta.

Nate: That young man is going places.

@@@@@@@@@@

Nick: Me Nick! Me have manpain! Like paper cut on nads!

Sally: I can guess what this is about.

Nick: Yeah, it’s called ‘don’t whack off into an empty McDonald’s fry container cuz it will slice and dice your balls like a cardboard ninja.’ Oh, and I can’t stop thinking about Adam kissing you.

Sally: I get it. I can’t either.

Nick: It’s, like, really disrespectful for you to be friends with him.

Sally: But that’s all we are. Friends.

Nick: I hear the noises coming out of your snack hole, but I choose to interpret them in a way that makes me the victim of your harlot ways. Can I mansplain your feelings to you? I promise to use small words.

Sally: Aren’t those the only kind you know?

Nick: Whoa. Coming in hot, huh? Guess what this brain genius finally figured out? That “Adam” isn’t a nickname you’ve given me for a sick yet sexy role play. It’s not a safe word. You’re thinking about my brother during our romps. At least I have the decency to think of the Green Bay Packers instead of other ladies.

Sally: I don’t want to argue about this. Adam is in the past, just like your many lovers are.

Nick: Nah. Look, sweet cheeks, I cannot be balls deep in a relationship with someone who isn’t all in. Even if they are all in, I’ll still peace out if I get bored.

Sally: I’m all in. I choose you. Can’t you hear the fiery passion in my voice?

Nick: I’m sick of you and Adam and your bullshit.

Sally: What are you trying to say?

@@@@@@@@@

Nikki: I would also like you to call me Nikki, in a properly deferential and awed tone. A curtsey would not go unappreciated.

Claire: Consider it done.

Nikki: If you don’t mind, I’d like to awkwardly probe your background, especially your family life. The viewers need their appetites whetted for the mystery of who you’re related to in town.

Claire: I’ll be as reticent as possible, if that helps. I’m sure it will a gripping tale of intrigue.

Nikki: You sweet summer child. 

Audra: Pardon me for barging in, but I had an update on that podcast we’re trying to buy, Rich Fucks Who Have More Money Than They Deserve. The price has gone up again. I think the seller is getting cold feet.

Nikki: What do you suggest? 

Audra: It’s an awesome podcast and very relevant to Newman. We should probably let things cool off for a while until the seller calms his tits.

Nikki: Do you have any suggestions, Claire?

Claire: Little old me? Oh, I couldn’t.

Audra: I’d love another perspective. That’s business speak for ‘shut the fuck up.’

Claire: What if… we agree to the higher price, which allows the other party to feel like they’ve won. We can recoup the cost by incentivizing the advertising platform or some bullshit like that.

Nikki: My god. You have revolutionized the world of business as we know it.

Audra: I’ll implement this bold strategy of pleasing both sides right away. That’s business speak for ‘I can’t believe I’ve been demoted beneath a ninny who is dazzled by information as obvious as the tassels on a stripper’s ta-tas.

@@@@@@@@@

Victoria: You’re falling in love with him, aren’t you?

Nate: No. Though I will ask why you’ve never hit Like on my baby goat posts.

Victoria: You can’t possibly believe he’s reformed. He’s incapable.

Nate: He drew a smiley face on my cinnamon rolls with icing. That’s not the act of a troublemaker.

Victoria: Fine. Take his side. No one ever takes my side. Boo hoo.

Nate: I’m always on your side. What am I supposed to do? Run up to Adam and scream BUSTED! in his face. He’ll never let his guard down then.

Victoria: I’m on an island. It’s called Lonely Island. You died in the shipwreck that left me stranded. All I have is a coconut and a handsome Italian nudist to help me survive.

Nate: Didn’t we agree that we’d give Adam all the time and space he needed to fuck up? That way, Victor will finally see that he’s beyond hope and there’s no one to blame but Adam.

Victoria: Yes, but that plan isn’t scratching my itch. I need results, not my boyfriend bonding with my brother over binders. I bet you haven’t even hired someone to forge Daddy’s commitment papers.

Nate: Victoria, you said you were going to cool it with your father. Let your mom handle it.

Victoria: You never agree with me. Ever since you got rid of the side part, you’ve been downright defiant.

Nate: I’m trying to protect you from your father’s wrath. He told me he keeps the souls of his detractors in his bourbon bottles. I believe him. Bottle your hurt before he bottles you.

Victoria: I don’t need protecting. I need you to believe me about my father’s insanity. And I’m not hurt. I’m insulted. He’s going to whip us all into shape? That dumb ox Nick could use a few cracks, and Adam needs a cattle prod to keep him in line, but me? I did an amazing job running Newman. I’m not one of the rabble!

Nate: Just stick to the plan and everything will be fine. I gotta get back to the office before the sloth heat escapes my chair cushion.

@@@@@@@@@@@

Adam: Hey, Pops. Mind if I test out some of my ass kissing tactics on you?

Victor: You are taking to the assistant role as well as the Titanic took to the iceberg. Ah, what a tragedy. Had I not summoned a team of squid to skim me across the briny deep, the frigid Atlantic would have been my grave until the next cycle.

Adam: Well, I asked to slum it. Are you telling me you rode a shoal of squid across the ocean floor to safety?

Victor: Technically, they were kraken. Few people realize that a group of kraken is called a dime bag. 

Adam: Yeah… so, I’ve learned a lot. Like get your dry cleaning delivered instead of making your assistant pick it up. I will certainly treat my assistants better should I be lucky enough to rise that high.

Victor: What is that damn Nate Hastings teaching you? Do not concern yourself with the little people, k? Are you some kind of commie?

Nate: I hope I’m not interrupting anything.

Victor: Not at all. Is there a problem?

Nate: Just looking for my assistant. I’d like him to sit on this conference call. I’m pretty sure one of the executives on it is getting his pipe puffed and I need confirmation.

Adam: Gross, but okay.

Victor: Good luck, Nicholas. Heheheh.

Adam: …

Nate:…

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Nick: Look, I’m tired of staring at these four walls, worried about Adam manipulating you, manipulating both of us. He’s just relentless. Look at how much he forces us to talk about him. Plus, it smells like hella swamp ass in here.

Sally: Adam isn’t manipulating anyone. Let’s talk about us and our future.

Nick: I couldn’t help but notice how after Adam kissed you, you suddenly felt like you were falling in love with me. At first I’m like, how does Adam’s tongue in your mouth trigger an emotional reaction to me? I pondered and meditated for hours on the can. After giving butt birth to a turdler, it hit me. You were just saying that to make me feel better.

Sally: Are you calling me a liar?

Nick: I’m trying to very gently maneuver you into the bad guy spot so I can come off as a nice, romantic leading man.

Sally: You don’t get to take all my words, jumble them up and throw them back in my face with your spin on them.

Nick: Really? Cause I’m totally doing it. That kiss got you horny as hell. It made you irrational like you were on the rag. You’re in love with Adam, not me.

Sally: Am not.

Nick: Are too.

Sally: We’re just friends. I mean, yes, we bonded over losing our daughter. Surely you understand that process better than anyone.

Nick: Not really. When I lost my daughter, I bonded my dick to a crazy person and got a poppin’ fresh new one. I may have fudged the DNA test a little, but my ex got the blame so I wouldn’t look like the asshole. It’s a move that works for me. I thought after you lost your daughter, maybe I could be your Phyllis.

Sally: What the actual fuck.

Nick: I get it. This is all a punishment for me because I was defusing bombs on my daughter instead of supporting you. Adam hogged all the glory. You didn’t blame him long enough for me to get a foothold. That’s on you.

Sally: You didn’t do shit for Faith.

Nick: Wow. Now you’re calling me a bad father? I’m famous for my top notch dadding and being a straight up DILF. You’ll eventually realize you’re in love with Adam, but I’m not going to watch it happen. I’m out. Buy yourself some Febreze, girl. Damn.

Sally: I guess I have to pretend to cry now. Sniffs bedsheets. Sobs.

@@@@@@@@@

Nikki: I need to hand down some decrees to the finance department. Have the kind of day you deserve, ladies.

Claire: Gosh, I hope little old me didn’t overstep my earnestly modest bounds.

Audra: Of course not. Nikki asked, and you were right to quote page one of your Negotiations 101 textbook.

Claire: I don’t want to step on any toes.

Audra: I feel that good ideas can come from anywhere, even one’s posterior. And we are supposed to be a team here at Newman Media.

Claire: Yay team! So do you need anything more in Nikki’s office?

Audra: If you’re planning to go through her things, don’t bother. The books are all hollowed out to hold soil from Victor’s homeland. The middle drawer in the filing cabinet is full of bananas in case her son visits. The safe behind the painting holds a crown that she wears while listening to “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina” during her lunch break.

Claire: That’s so amazing. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be at my desk.

Audra sits down in a chair and fires up her tablet so that its screen faces the doorway where anyone can hover and see what she’s doing. She surfs to the FuckFuckNo search engine and types in Claire’s name.

@@@@@@@@@@

Victoria: Thank god you’re here. I need somebody to start following orders.

Nick: Can’t you see I’m suffering from third degree manpain?

Victoria: That’s great. I’m worried about Dad. Yesterday he got stuck while trying to transform into a bat. I had to lock him in a closet for eight hours until he came out of it.

Nick: So? Sometimes I get my head stuck in the armhole of my shirt while I’m getting dressed. Doesn’t make me incompetent.

Victoria: For eight hours?

Nick: 12 is my personal record.

Victoria: Please, Nick. I need someone to take this seriously. I’m worried that Daddy is off his game. It’s like nobody cares. Even Nate just shrugs his shoulders.

Nick: Since I’m clearly superior to Nate, I will buy in. What do you need from me?

Victoria: Come back to Newman Enterprises so I have someone to blame when my coup attempt ends in tears. 

Nick: Not this shit again. Can’t we talk about monster trucks or s’mores or something interesting?

Victoria: Do you really need to start a business with Sharon?

Nick: Well, sex isn’t an option with you, so…

Victoria: Is this about proving you can leave Newman any time you want? Fine. You’ve proven it. Now prove it harder by running right back.

Nick: I’ll talk to Dad. But that’s it. Now let me drink my milktini in peace.

Victoria leaves. Nick’s phone plays I Want Your Sex by George Michael. It’s Sally calling. He answers it without speaking, subtly lifting a cheek off the barstool and offering Sally a wet peal of thunder before shutting the phone off. They couldn’t develop smell phones fast enough for Nick’s liking.

@@@@@@@@

Nikki: Gentlemen, you look troubled. Not that I care, but you did just emerge from my husband’s office.

Nate: He called Adam ‘Nick’. That’s a burn requiring a hospital stay.

Nikki: I shall attend to the matter. Excuse me.

Nikki swans into Victor’s office.

Nikki: What the hell? You just called Adam by Nick’s name.

Victor: Indeed I did. It was intentional, k? My plan is to come across as a doddering old fool, forcing my children to band together either to care for me or to plot an overthrowing of my regime. My pawns grow complacent and I must find new ways to amuse myself, k?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by NinjaPenguins

[MsMalin]

I thought you were supposed to Google job candidate before you hired them, not after. And as someone mentioned ,you will get a lot of hits with a name like that. In the job I had before retirement I had to track down people. You would be surprised how people with even the most unusual names had multiple owners.

At least Victor didn't call Adam by the dog's name, which I have been known to do.

Absolutely loved the argument between Nick and Sally about whether she loved him,lol. That is at least one fight I never had with Mr. MsMalin.

Edited October 13, 2023 by MsMalin

[Joimiaroxeu]

Quote

Speculation here, not a spoiler - I've read speculation that Claire Grace might be yet another of Nick's ubiquitous offspring, but god I hope not.

Yeah, I'm wavering between the Nick's kid spumors and the next girlfriend speculation. He definitely doesn't need any more children. But, so far I like Claire and would not want her saddled with Nick as a romantic partner. Hopefully she'll remain mostly clear of Nick's orbit altogether.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Quote

Audra sits down in a chair and fires up her tablet so that its screen faces the doorway where anyone can hover and see what she’s doing. She surfs to the FuckFuckNo search engine and types in Claire’s name.

There was some competition but I gotta say, Audra doing a search on Claire Grace's name, right where anyone could (and likely will) walk in and see her doing it, was the dumbest moment of the episode. Audra is not that stupid.

This show is cheap but I think they could've afforded to move Audra over to the coffeehouse patio set because there was no rush. Plus, no way did Nikki not have Claire fully vetted before she hired her. The only surprise I can see is if Claire turns out to have a nekkid on OnlyFans page under a fake name because she's still paying off her student loans.

[MollyB]

19 hours ago, Js Nana said:

...either way, it somehow got past the continuity folks, if there are any, that the seasonal differences between the other actors outfits and Victoria's would confuse viewers, because who would believe that anyone would be wearing a summer dress in Wisconsin in October.

There are none.

And to be fair, the other day Phyllth had on a dress baring both shoulders and just a wee strap to hang it all on her.  [Whenever one-shoulder tops are on I always think of a three year old saying "look, mommy, I dressed myself!"]

16 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

Claire's lucky it's not 15 years ago

speaking of which, is this actress the one who played TabbyHo?

 

16 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

I wonder what the female version of a d!ck-swinging contest is?

Think higher.  And my money's on Audra.

 

14 hours ago, Kemper said:

To me, Audra’s “look” seems more Klassy Kim Kardashian. I think it is her hair….and she dresses way better.

Yeah, Claire is giving me Little House on the Prairie vibes.

 

11 hours ago, Waldo13 said:

Wouldn’t you think that Audra would have done her due diligence on Claire’s background before she was hired?  

At the interview Nikki said they had several other candidates to interview, so I imagine Audra would have vetted the top contenders after.  Unfortunately, Nikki adopted Claire by the end of the meeting and left Audra pretty much out of the hiring process.  I guess it would have been rude for Audra to Google Claire during the interview.

[Js Nana]

34 minutes ago, MollyB said:

is this actress the one who played TabbyHo

In 2008, Hayley Erin replaced Darcy Rose Byrnes when the show decided to age Abby from an 8-year-old to a teenager, and Hayley was replaced in the role by Emme Rylan in 2010 when the show decided to age Abby from teenager to adult.

[lightninggirl]

1 hour ago, MollyB said:

Think higher.  And my money's on Audra.

Yeah, Claire is giving me Little House on the Prairie vibes.

I don't know - something tells me Claire's a secret agent for someone, or simply herself. Here's hoping she completely buries Audra and kicks her out of GC for good, perhaps somewhere that has Claritin so she can finally clear that stopped-up nose.

[rcc]

Just can't with Sally anymore! She needs to be written off this show.

 

[pvandal]

Really Nick? Adam has screwed up almost every aspect of your life. What were those screwups again? Was it when he saved Faith after the car accident? Or maybe when he gave her a kidney? Oh I know, it’s when he saved your pathetic ass in a tornado. Adam just needs to wash his hand of his trash family and never speak to them again. Ignore Sally’s calls as well. 
It might not be so annoying if Josh Morrow could act. He’s been on this show 30 years and he still has one emotion.

And because it can’t be said enough, shut up Chloe.

Edited October 13, 2023 by pvandal