S06.E30: Census

[PrincessPurrsALot]

US Census; also Stupid  Watergate II; Al Roker's Thanksgiving Kiss of Death; Chiijohn.

Last show until February. 😢

Original air date 2019.11.17

[Annber03]

Chiijohn! 

I was expecting them to do the whole "run towards each other in slow motion only to pass each other at the last minute" sort of thing when they finally reunited :p. But no. What a fun way to end the episode and the season-and with a genuinely hopeful message at that. 

Thank god that citizenship question won't be on the census. And thank goodness that guy's daughter was able to find the evidence to prove this was an actual scheme being cooked up. I love John's suggestion of why we all should answer the census questions next year. Works for me. 

(The "toilet" thing. I can't even. Pretty sure John and I had the exact same expression on our faces after that.)

Regarding the argument about how Trump's actions can't be illegal because no crime actually took place, my favorite go-to comparison is the people who hire hitmen to kill somebody. We've all seen those shows where undercover cops pose as hitmen and meet up with somebody to catch them in the act, right? The actual hit never winds up taking place, but guess what? The people meeting with these "hitmen" still get arrested anyway! Because planning a crime is still a crime in and of itself! Contrary to what that one guy wants us to believe, this is seriously not a difficult concept to understand.

Also, I'm no legal scholar or Latin expert and I know what the term "quid pro quo" means. As do most people. It's been a very commonly used phrase for ages now. Quit treating your viewers like they're idiots, guys. 

The Roker bit was hilarious. Especially that ending. And the "Inside Edition" bit made me miss "The Soup". I lost it at "What the heck is that thing?"

Look forward to the show's return next year, then! Here's hoping there'll be plenty of positive news over the break for him to mention when the new season starts. 

Edited November 18, 2019 by Annber03

[swanpride]

"It's hearsay in the sense that you can hear everyone saying it all the time"...burn!!!

Though I wonder...do any of those talking points actually work? Are there people (other than the die hard Trump supporters who have firmly their fingers in the ear anyway) actually buying into the notion that it is "boring"?

The whole Census thing is odd to me. I mean, we participated in the EU census in 2011, but otherwise, we didn't have a Census since the 1980s...mostly because of privacy reasons. Having one every ten years seems excessive until you realise that there are no IDs, which I guess makes it more difficult to just do small probes and base your data on those.

[Annber03]

32 minutes ago, swanpride said:

"It's hearsay in the sense that you can hear everyone saying it all the time"...burn!!!

Loved that. Seriously, that's another huge flaw in these people's defense of Trump's actions: there's WAY too many people corroborating this testimony and these people's accounts for this to be made up. They can't all be lying. 

Quote

Though I wonder...do any of those talking points actually work? Are there people (other than the die hard Trump supporters who have firmly their fingers in the ear anyway) actually buying into the notion that it is "boring"?

There may well be some, but I think if I were to describe most Americans' reaction to all of this, they're impatient more than anything right now. Polls are showing that most Americans seem to be in favor of this investigation, so that doesn't indicate boredom to me, but I think, ultimately, a lot of them just want to know that all of this will actually lead to some kind of resolution in the end, whatever that may be. It's just hard to know exactly where this whole crazy situation will go next, and so I can see people getting exhausted by it all after a while. 

But yeah, even if this was the most snoozeworthy investigation in history, that still, as John rightly notes, doesn't negate the fact that it's necessary. But hey, who cares about whether or not a story is important, right? We gotta make it sexy! I liked how John pointed out the numerous other scandals in Trump's past that those pundits could spend time talking about if they really needed something of that sort to discuss. 

[swanpride]

Yeah, I saw those clips with the "there is break-in, there is no sex" aso argument before, and I was kind of thinking "okay, but isn't spy stuff even MORE interesting than a boring break in, and hasn't there be enough sex already in the story with Stormy Daniels alone".

Granted, the "sexy bits" are kind of overshadowed by how ridiculous it is to imagine, that Trump would blunder that way through world politics...not ridiculous in the sense that this isn't exactly what could have been expected of him, but in the sense that the whole matter is so inept, if you would try to sell this as a Hollywood script, they would laugh you out of the room.

[Annber03]

Just now, swanpride said:

and hasn't there be enough sex already in the story with Stormy Daniels alone".

Honestly, this. I could easily go without hearing any more stuff relating to Trump and sex in general (looking at you, Nunes, and your strange fixation on the bizarre "Democrats want nude photos of Trump" conspiracy). Unless the discussion is related to investigating all those allegations against him from various women, that is. 

Quote

Granted, the "sexy bits" are kind of overshadowed by how ridiculous it is to imagine, that Trump would blunder that way through world politics...not ridiculous in the sense that this isn't exactly what could have been expected of him, but in the sense that the whole matter is so inept, if you would try to sell this as a Hollywood script, they would laugh you out of the room.

Right? I've said it before, and Oliver's said it on his show, too, we are going to have quite the interesting time trying to explain and prove to future generations that yes, all of this stuff actually happened. 

[swanpride]

Let's not forget the infamous pipi-tape. Or him grabbing women by the pussies. Or all the other members of his administration who are apparently do way more than just grabbing. Or him spying on underage pagan girls in the locker room.

I think the most difficult part to explain will be how the hell it took so long to even trying to impeach him, considering that he constantly commits impeachable offenses in public. Especially since there is actually no need to proof a crime for impeachment, you only have to proof that he is unfit for office. By all rights, the procedure should have started the moment we started to discuss crowd seizes and "alternate facts".

[attica]

In case you missed the credits, that was Hugh Bonneville, the erstwhile Earl Grantham, doing his best David Attenborough impression for the  Chijohn voice over.

[Robert Lynch]

Ewww.....Seeing those see through golf shorts on Trump....

Thanks, Oliver.

Edited November 18, 2019 by Robert Lynch

[peeayebee]

10 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Chiijohn! I was expecting them to do the whole "run towards each other in slow motion only to pass each other at the last minute" sort of thing when they finally reunited :p. But no. What a fun way to end the episode and the season-and with a genuinely hopeful message at that. 

I absolutely loved that. I was near tears at the end. It was so sweet and such an appreciated ending to the season. A horror antidote.

Quote

Thank god that citizenship question won't be on the census. And thank goodness that guy's daughter was able to find the evidence to prove this was an actual scheme being cooked up.

How fortunate we are that the man and his daughter were estranged and that she knew the value of what she found. This is like the whistleblower coming forward -- if it hadn't happened, no one would be any the wiser. Sometimes it takes just one person.

Quote

Regarding the argument about how Trump's actions can't be illegal because no crime actually took place, my favorite go-to comparison is the people who hire hitmen to kill somebody.

It really is the most ridiculous argument. Attempted robbery, attempted murder, attempted kidnapping, attempted extortion. See the value of the word "attempted"? It does not mean excused.

8 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Loved that. Seriously, that's another huge flaw in these people's defense of Trump's actions: there's WAY too many people corroborating this testimony and these people's accounts for this to be made up. They can't all be lying.  

Oooo, but see it's all part of the conspiracy. These people are in cahoots with Soros.

7 minutes ago, attica said:

In case you missed the credits, that was Hugh Bonneville, the erstwhile Earl Grantham, doing his best David Attenborough impression for the  Chijohn voice over.

As I was listening I thought it was Bonneville, so I checked the credits just to make sure.

[link417]

LOL, I love that Shinjokun has a crush on Seth Myers — I don’t blame him!

Great way to end the season, before the shitshow that will be 2020.

[meowmommy]

5 hours ago, peeayebee said:

I absolutely loved that. I was near tears at the end. It was so sweet and such an appreciated ending to the season. A horror antidote.

Me, too.  And I was one who didn't much like the characters the first time John did it.

15 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Regarding the argument about how Trump's actions can't be illegal because no crime actually took place, my favorite go-to comparison is the people who hire hitmen to kill somebody

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the shoe bomber is still in prison, despite having failed to blow up a plane.

[DEL901]

4 hours ago, link417 said:

LOL, I love that Shinjokun has a crush on Seth Myers — I don’t blame him!

Great way to end the season, before the shitshow that will be 2020.

I was surprised (pleasantly) to see Seth.   I love Stephen Colbert, and I expected to see him.  

[xaxat]

The "Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that on live TV." look on the CNN reporter's face was hilarious.

16 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Nunes, and your strange fixation on the bizarre "Democrats want nude photos of Trump" conspiracy

I was unaware of this. I'm a lifelong Democrat and, quite frankly, that sounds horrifying. My eyes are still burning from this (spoiler tag because seeing it once in the show was enough.)

Spoiler

Would you accept an all expenses paid trip to Japan if you had to sit between Shinjokun and Chii John for the entire fourteen hour trip there? 

I'm still debating that in my head.

I worked for the Census back in 1990. No way I would do that now. 

Thank you workers for your service.

Edited November 19, 2019 by xaxat

[Annber03]

9 hours ago, peeayebee said:

It really is the most ridiculous argument. Attempted robbery, attempted murder, attempted kidnapping, attempted extortion. See the value of the word "attempted"? It does not mean excused.

4 hours ago, meowmommy said:

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the shoe bomber is still in prison, despite having failed to blow up a plane.

More excellent points. 

9 hours ago, peeayebee said:

Oooo, but see it's all part of the conspiracy. These people are in cahoots with Soros.

Seriously, for as much as the right likes to think Soros is somehow controlling everything, I swear the only people who ever seem to mention his name are those on the right. That's honestly the only time I've ever heard his name come up. 

15 minutes ago, xaxat said:

I was unaware of this. I'm a lifelong Democrat and, quite frankly, that sounds horrifying. My eyes are still burning from this (spoiler tag because seeing it once in the show was enough.)

  Reveal spoiler

...you just had to put that in here, didn't you :p? 

But yeah, that's a theory Nunes has been floating a couple times already. Why, or where the hell he even got that idea, I couldn't begin to explain.

Quote

Would you accept an all expenses paid trip to Japan if you had to sit between Shinjokun and Chii John for the entire fourteen hour trip there? 

I'm still debating that in my head.

That part cracked me up so much. I dunno, it could be rather interesting :p. 

[Lantern7]

Here's hoping next year's season finale will end with the musical numbers to end all musical numbers. That would be the direct opposite of John blowing up "2016" five days after Election Day.

Watching the Census commercial from 1980, I was way more focused by the native man singing. Like they went out and tried to look for a dude that looked as close to the side of the Washington football team's helmet. Then Mickey Mouse popped up, and John speculated that he was a drug addict.

Matt Ryan still plays John Constantine in Legends of Tomorrow and a few original animated movies from DC Comics. Constantine doesn't count under "Kiss of Death" from Al Roker, right? Yeah, probably. Like when you'd read books based on David Letterman's Top 10 lists from NBC, and a some of them have references to The Fanelli Bros. Guess how long that series lasted.

Gotta love John ended the season with Chiijohn and Shinjokun. Such a cute story. Am I a bad person to speculate as to how a message in a bottle can be thrown into the Atlantic Ocean and wind up washing up in Japan?

[SnideAsides]

On 11/18/2019 at 4:49 PM, Annber03 said:

Also, I'm no legal scholar or Latin expert and I know what the term "quid pro quo" means. As do most people. It's been a very commonly used phrase for ages now. Quit treating your viewers like they're idiots, guys. 

Could have been worse. A guy was interviewed about Stupider Watergate on Australia's national broadcaster last week, and he literally started his explanation with "So we have a saying in America, 'quid pro quo'", like the rest of the world doesn't have WORDS.

[Annber03]

Oh, geez. *Puts head in hands*

[ElectricBoogaloo]

16 hours ago, peeayebee said:

It really is the most ridiculous argument. Attempted robbery, attempted murder, attempted kidnapping, attempted extortion. See the value of the word "attempted"? It does not mean excused.

Exactly. Just because you were too incompetent to actually pull off the crime or you were interrupted before completing the crime doesn't mean you didn't do anything wrong!

When they showed the woman trying to say that "attempted" doesn't mean you actually committed a crime, I thought about Michael Scofield committing an attempted bank robbery so he could be sent to prison with his brother. Since they're claiming that these are all boring crimes, maybe they need to watch more tv to learn about sexier versions of similar crimes.

On 11/17/2019 at 9:49 PM, Annber03 said:

The "toilet" thing. I can't even. Pretty sure John and I had the exact same expression on our faces after that.

But look on the bright side - now we know that the correct number of toilets in a house is four!

[swanpride]

Quote

Could have been worse. A guy was interviewed about Stupider Watergate on Australia's national broadcaster last week, and he literally started his explanation with "So we have a saying in America, 'quid pro quo'", like the rest of the world doesn't have WORDS.

Or hasn't adopted Latin phrases into their own language….

The whole "he didn't finish it" argument keeps reminding me of the time, when my school class went to court to witness legal proceedings for educational reasons. One of the cases which went on trial that day was about two woman who had tried to rob a flower shop (yes, really), but had fled without the money because (no kidding) they failed to open the cash register. Their lawyer actually used the "the deserve a lower punishment because nothing was robbed" defence. Someone, might habe even been the judge, answered "That your client is too stupid to open a cash register is not an argument in her favour". And yes, she got the higher punishment in the end.

[xaxat]

9 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Watching the Census commercial from 1980, I was way more focused by the native man singing. Like they went out and tried to look for a dude that looked as close to the side of the Washington football team's helmet.

That was Iron Eyes Cody. He was best know for this environmental ad.

He had a long movie career playing Native American roles.

He was Italian American.

[purist]

On 11/18/2019 at 5:25 PM, swanpride said:

The whole Census thing is odd to me. I mean, we participated in the EU census in 2011, but otherwise, we didn't have a Census since the 1980s...mostly because of privacy reasons. Having one every ten years seems excessive

In Australia we have a census every five years. Having only one every ten years seems wrong to me! 🙂

I really hope that the 2020 US census-by-internet doesn't suffer the same fate as the 2016 Australian census, which was the first one for which internet submission of forms was allowed - and, indeed, encouraged. Basically the whole system crashed at 7.30pm on Census Day, due to both hacking and good old-fashioned incompetence. Good luck, Americans! 

I loved Hugh Bonneville's narration. So comforting. I miss LWT already.

Edited November 19, 2019 by purist

[swanpride]

Do you have IDs?

[paigow]

What if the Census Lady visited the Lecter house? Maybe Hannibal would have met his true soulmate...Sorry Agent Starling...

[Annber03]

11 hours ago, swanpride said:

The whole "he didn't finish it" argument keeps reminding me of the time, when my school class went to court to witness legal proceedings for educational reasons. One of the cases which went on trial that day was about two woman who had tried to rob a flower shop (yes, really), but had fled without the money because (no kidding) they failed to open the cash register. Their lawyer actually used the "the deserve a lower punishment because nothing was robbed" defence. 

That reminds me of a story I heard one time about a group of guys who tried to rob some electronics store...but they only wound up getting away with the display models :p. 

[SnideAsides]

The only thing that could have made Chiijohn even better is if they'd run into the census woman.

[purist]

11 hours ago, swanpride said:

Do you have IDs?

Government-issued ID cards? No. They've been proposed a few times, but the Australian people are having none of it.

[marina to]

The Chiijohn segment is up on YouTube if you want to see it again.

[RedbirdNelly]

the ending with Chiijohn was the segment I didn't know I needed. But I did. The hopeful last line. . .sigh. Thanks John and the writers.

Also, I'm not normally that fond of the ATT jokes John does. But the bit about the message in the bottle being the most reliable way to reach them since he has ATT was awesome.