KerleyQ

I assume that's a rhetorical question?

Now imagine how bad Liam must be in the sack, since it's clear Wyatt's WAY better than him.

Did I just imagine those scenes of Ivy, before sleeping with Liam and Wyatt, talking about what a big step sex is for her and how she doesn't indulge in it without being in a real relationship with real feelings? I guess cousins count as a real relationship?

Seriously, I don't think I've been this skeeved out by a character since Michael Cambias on AMC.

After the peanut and Chipotle meat clips, I said "is Huckabee hungry?" So I loved that Trevor followed that up with a montage of him talking about food. I think he's just constantly hungry.

I think he's perfectly suited to the Bratz doll he just proposed to.

If that's what's happening (and it's not what I'm seeing on my TV), then it's only fair. Liz has been shit on enough to make this whole fucking plot point story drag on, so if someone else gets a turn getting the writers' feces dumped on them, then I say go for it. Why should she be the only one shit on here? Regardless, it's still not going to "clean" her. If anything, the longer this goes on, the dirtier it gets. So I don't see how this remotely does her character service.

Dear Editors: You forgot to include the multiple times Liam chose other women over Steffy, all the manipulation Steffy engaged in to keep Liam away from the women he really wanted, and Steffy's "thing" with Liam's father in your romantic engagement montage there. Ivy. Thomas. Vomit. Yes, who hasn't hoped for a moment out of time to bone their cousin?

She doesn't need Roger any more, she got Mo back. She knows what side her bread is buttered on.

All I keep picturing is "Hey, we've got a great opportunity for you to get in on the ground floor of an exciting business opportunity and earn enough money to get yourself off the streets and into a real home. You can join us in the thriving multi-billion dollar skin care industry." "Um, I just wanted some gravy on my potatoes..."

"Oh, yes, thank God. Otherwise, I was going to have to go into work. Do you think I should call in or just let them figure out I won't be showing up on their own?"

Why? Why did I click on that? I think that just ruined Thanksgiving AND Christmas. New Years isn't looking too good, either.

All part of their sinister plan to make us beg for more "Rick and Maya's Immaculate Conception Baby" air time.

I'm not going to lie, at this point, I hope he's giving her the same damn one. Unless he's going to sneak into Katie's poetry book and steal that raggedy red ribbon to give Steffy instead. I'm just in this story to point and laugh.

Shh!!! They'll hear you!! Don't give them any ideas. Sad...jealous...

Female what, now? Oh, wait, is that where the wimmens slap each other and call each other bitches? Sonny can't help look for Morgan because he's a selfish douchebag too busy wallowing in his own feelings to be there for his son. And Morgan's dangerously in love with Kiki? Since when?? Does any of the story actually happen on screen any more? We can just find out the why of it all by reading interviews, Twitter, and Instagram?

I see Bill remains creepily over invested in Liam's relationship with Steffy. Ick.

Yeah, I don't know if being proud of your ability to love you some serial killing hitman should be some point of pride, Sam. "You have some sort of moral issue with being with a man who kills people for a living (and enjoys it). I fucking love it. It makes me hot!" I think they want us to consider it some kind of hot foreplay or something. Yep. Valerie isn't mad at Lulu for setting it all in motion. She loves her for that. She'd like to send her an Edible Arrangement (do they make a "Thank you for sneaking around to save your brother, it gave me the chance to screw your husband" arrangement?) for that. What she's angry at Lulu for is coming home and clearing things up with Dante so he wasn't ready and willing to give Val another roll in the sheets. I'm also giving the "there's no bad guy here" thing the side eye. Once things were cleared up with Lulu and Dante (with regard to Lulu's leaving town), instead of accepting that what happened between her and Dante shouldn't have happened and backing off, she paid lip service to that, but then kept mooning over Dante at work and telling him (and Nathan, and Dillon, and Jordan) about her feelings for Dante. She's not straight up Cassadine levels of evil or anything, but she's certainly not "good" here either.

Because Dom's guarantees are all filled up with contrived embarrassing shit scenes with Valerie?

Agreed. It would be so easy to say that his past is him trying to cover and overcompensate. His wanting Hope was because she was the virgin who had no interest in hooking up, so he could be her Ken doll and never have to do much beyond hold her hand and kiss her. Then, he comes back from overseas, and he's pissed at Dad about something (maybe some guy Thomas had his eye on over there saw Dad at the Pride parade and developed a crush?), so, to kill two birds with one stone, he aggressively goes after Dad's girlfriend while also aggressively hitting on everything that moves at FC. It would not surprise me to find out that he and Caroline actually didn't have sex, he just let her believe they did.

I think that Nik's driver got a text saying Patrick was on his way, but the text was faked by whoever the hell is holding Robin, so they could stage that whole kidnapping for her to watch. From what I can tell, Patrick thought he was supposed to pick her up later. (Of course, I zone out a lot of the show, so I may have missed a detail.) After thinking about it, I'd be willing to bet that an actual kidnapping was never supposed to take place, the woman was likely always supposed to let Emma go at the last second. They just wanted to scare Robin into submission. Kidnapping Emma would raise too many flags and get people actively looking for Robin instead of stupidly believing she is away by her own choice.

The card is so going to say "Dear Mom, Im sorey, Luve, Dad."

And the hair. Oh, God, the hair. My favorite part was how he's too lazy to man up and order his own damn flowers and, maybe, I don't know, call her himself and apologize? What an asshole. The best part of the episode, for me, was that the grandchild of Robert and Anna Scorpio knows to scream "stranger danger!" and fight off an abductor. (Yes, she shouldn't have fallen for the "lost puppy" routine in the first place, but at least she knew how to get out of the situation.) Bonus points that it was Tracy who came to her rescue when she yelled out and not Jason, Carly, or Sonny. (Can you just see Sonny yelling for Max to wheel him over faster?) I don't even care what Liz does anymore, because the trashing of her becomes more ridiculous by the scene, I'm just going to enjoy Becky playing the hell out of her scenes. I cackled at the Patrick/Sam scenes, but that's probably not a good thing. And while I'm no Sam fan, I thought it was pretty shitty of Patrick to not let her know why he was running out after Tracy's call. She cares about Emma, and you've planted her into Emma's life as her stepmother. You don't ignore that bond because you're pissy with her.

I was saying something similar earlier today. They brought in new writers, but they're just continuing dragging out Ron's crap. What was the point?

Maybe they'll borrow a page out of OLTL's book and go for a nice full year pregnancy, so we can really marinate in it.