KerleyQ

Back when Dillon, Milo, and Spinelli were jointly panting after Lulu (you know, when she became Carly Jr, the girl every man must want at all times), she was dating Johnny.

After I watched the show this morning, I told my husband "I'm going to go take one of those Silkwood showers now. I may never be clean again." The worst one, to me, was when they were being interviewed and were asked (paraphrasing) "What is the thing the two of you have in common that you enjoy the most?" Ivanka answered "real estate and golf." Then it was Donald's turn. His response started with "Well, I was going to say sex, but..." No one should ever have to have the "Please stop telling people how much you want to bang me" conversation with their father, but, I think Ivanka REALLY needs to have that conversation.

At this point, I half expect NotDeadHelena to swan into town and laugh at Lulu "well, of course I was using mind control on your husband. That simpering fool would have never looked at anyone but you without my help."

That sounds like JaSam fan fic.

Apparently, Bobbie has never heard of the concept of "here, learn from my mistakes." For her, it's more like "you should totally make the same mistakes I've made! It's fun!"

But if she died, he'd totally keep a brain tumor to keep having ghost sex with her. He's truly a prince.

As someone who used to decorate cakes for a bakery and an ice cream parlor, I refuse to believe that someone paid for that decorating job.

And, really, morning sickness should be the least surprising thing for her. Doesn't everyone know about morning sickness? At her age, I just assumed all pregnant women puked. (I can't say how grateful I was to not end up with morning sickness when I was pregnant.)

"When Rick and I moved in and Ivy and I were first housemates, there was tension." Tension, bitch? Tension? Like you have no idea why? Can we lock Steffy and Maya in a room with a faulty electric board, a tire iron, a gun, and a rabid bear and just wait to see what happens?

Totally agree that we need some Lucas perspective. I think it really said it all when Maya asked him who he was saving the spot next to him for, and he replied that he honestly didn't know. Girls, back off. It's not up to the two of you to just decide who he is going to be with.

I wish someone would have told the deadly Bratz doll to spare us her crocodile tears. Oh, poor, poor Steffy. She was physically incapable of not flapping her inflated lips to Wyatt. She was also physically incapable of not trying to do in another female cousin. Poor, poor Steffy. Will nobody think of how much this all must pain FUN!!Steffy? I mean, this shit is the exact opposite of plastic parachute men and cold truffle fries. The poor creature.

It's going to be so much harder for her to sneakily toss the electrical grid over a cliff.

Two things disappointed me in this episode. First, no Zay. He's often my favorite part of an episode. Second, I would have much preferred the girls to take the "who you start the new year with..." thing to heart and choose to ring in the new year together, instead of either one of them worrying about choosing to spend it with a specific guy. It would have been truer to their friendship (and a nicer message for the viewers.)

Somewhere, Nik is fist bumping him saying "I know, right? Bitches, man."

Oh, yeah, it was bad. It was like they decided to just become a parody or something. The whole scene was so ridiculous.

The show kind of had to acknowledge his change in appearance, given the story. Otherwise, how were they going to sell no one knowing who he is?

Valerie asks Dante his intentions? Good Lord this is ridiculous. I hope Lulu's deal with Johnny involves rutting like farm animals on Dante's desk at the PCPD.

I'm sure Liz will get some public tearing of a new asshole, but not Nik. He'll just get a couple "oh, that Nikolas" head shakes before he hops in bed with Greenlee. Well, naturally, hiding that Jason is alive is sooooooo much worse than covering for the hero who offed Fatso. I mean, come on.

This seemed like the best thread to put this in, so... I was reading a book earlier today, and the main character is watching an episode of GH with a guy who's never seen it before. This conversation ensues, making me think the author lurks here:

What the hell did I just see? Is Steffy just going to off all of her cousins? Zende, you may want to get your ass out of town now.

If they're going to do an homage to Lisa Niles, can it please be complete with Dante's brother, Morgan, going to jail for killing Val? I'll need to put that in my letter to Santa. I fear we'd get something along the lines of Michael eventually telling Sonny and Carly that he totally understands now why they did what they did to keep him away from AJ, because he feels exactly the same about keeping Sabrina's baby away from Carlos. And then I'll stroke out.

I'm just cracking up that Valerie and Dante seem to think they'll be able to totally subvert the no fraternization thing. Yeah, because Valerie has such a poker face about it all. She couldn't even pretend nothing was going on when nothing was going on. She's going to be hopeless now that they're (gag) dating.

Today was the first time I've caught any scenes of the two of them together, and it looked so freaking awkward and uncomfortable. And it's not even lack of chemistry (although there appears to be none), but it seems so poorly directed. It looks more like a hostage situation than anything else. How do you take two actors, like MW and RB, who both seem to have chemistry with the dust bunnies on set, and manage to make some of the most boring/awkward scenes on TV?

I think he figured one of two things would happen - either Liz would tell the truth, and then she'd be free for him again, or she'd keep his secret to hold onto Jason. Either way, he'd win - he'd either get laid again or he'd get to keep on with his plot.

I'm contemplating asking him something like "so, when the cast outnumbers the viewers, will Fan Club Weekend be switched around to the viewers sitting at tables while the cast approaches them to ask for autographs and pictures? 'Hey, GH cast members, come join Judy from Topeka for brunch and a Q&A!'"